The Rest of the Reader Submitted Top 10 Lists

The Rest of the Reader Submitted Top 10 Lists

Start at 10 on each list and work your way up.
Sorry, but HTML ordered lists only ascend so I can't do them in reverse.

Until the end of May, 1997, readers were invited to send in their top ten lists. These are the "rest" of them. They are in reverse chronological order of when I first posted them. All of these lists are great, too...I just separated out the ones that random readers went out of their way to give me positive feedback on. Click here to see the top ten of the reader submitted top ten lists. The top ten lists are closed to new submissions. Why, you ask?

Top Ten Ways Wrestling Can Be Crossed Over To Other Sports

by Hastings
  1. Tennis: Pete Sampras loses to Andre Agassi, so Pete summons all those sponsored by Reebok to beat the crap out of him right after the match.
  2. Golf: Steve Regal body slams and puts a Regal Stretch on his caddie because the caddie suggested the wrong club.
  3. Football: Reggie White and Steve McMichael challenge each other in a Pay Per View event! Yeah, because they are rivals! Novel idea don't you think? thing you know Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson are going to have a hair vs hair match.
  4. Racing: Syxx's pit crew gets jumped from behind by Ric Flair's pit crew, then when Syxx drives up to the pit they drag him out and Flair applies a figure four on Syxx on top of his car. Now we go to school!
  5. Basketball: Two words: Dennis Rodman. Of course, he's crossed over in more ways than one.
  6. Baseball: Jeff Jarrett does the "Jarrett Strut" around all the bases when he hits a home run...then he whacks the pitcher with the Haliburton.
  7. Boxing: Oh wait....that's how wrestling started in the first place...
  8. Bowling: Mortis beats up Glacier before the final tournament, steals his ball, and drills three more holes in it. Glacier would lose anyway....if he hits pins the same way he supposedly hit his opponents, they would hire him as a gutter cleaner.
  9. Rodeo: Syxx would win due to the fact that he practices that STUPID bullriding maneuver on everyone. If I were a bull, I would be insulted, find where he lived, destroy his house, and then charge full steam ahead and headbutt him into the next millenium.
  10. Chess: Ric Flair puts Hogan in Checkmate with his KNIGHT. Nice touch don't you think?

Top Ten Things That Might Happen To Sting

by Jason at UNC-Greensboro
  1. Two words..."Missing Link"
  2. Benoit is going to beat him mentally physically, and spiritually.
  3. Deborah is going to fall in love with him and everyone else till eventually there are 52 Four Horsemen!
  4. Glacier is going to entrance him into submission
  5. Terry Funk is going to make an appearance, and ask him if that's as in "bee sting", or "sting ray"?
  6. Dusty Rhodes is going to "Filabusta" him on "the mutha ship".
  7. Mongo is going to take him out with the case/cake pan.
  8. George "The Animal" Steele is going to come back with Grant Hill, and hit him on the head with a Fila, and do a Tarzan-talk interview, then they'll have a Rodman vs. Hill match.
  9. The Great Muta is going to come back and puke green stuff in his face!
  10. Abdullah the Butcher is going to come out, and give him the "golden spike"

Top Ten Finishing Moves They Should Try Out

by Jason at UNC-Greensboro
  1. Glacier - the chilly-willy assorted colors and flavors deep freeze
  2. Nash - The thrasher K-mart skateboarder
  3. Hall/Syxx - the greaser death ooze
  4. Sting - the shoplifter (since that's what he looks like)
  5. Wrath - the inviso-toastie (he's stolen everything else from Mortal Kombat, why not steal a finishing move)
  6. Flair - the flip over the turnbuckle, run down the side of the ring, get clotheslined, walk around dazed fall flat on your face move. (never mind, he already does that one)
  7. Koko B. Ware - the carwasher $4.25 an hour (nevermind, he already does that one)
  8. Disco Inferno - the jobber (it would have kept him his job)
  9. Benoit - the slow motion interviewer (enough said)
  10. Regal - the regal fart (cause I bet he could cut a mean one)

Top Ten Mixes To Make The Horsemen Better

by Jimmy B.
  1. Chris Benoit, Sting, Lex Luger, The Giant
  2. Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, DDP, Glacier
  3. Chris Benoit, Lex Luger, The Stieners
  4. Lex Luger, Sting, The Steiners
  5. Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Chris Benoit, Hugh Morris
  6. Harlem Heat, Ice Train, Ahmed Johnson
  7. Bret Hart, The Giant, Steve Austin, Sting
  8. Chris Jericho, Chris Beniot, The Giant, DDP
  9. Rey Mistero, Jr., Glacier, Lex Luger, Steven Regal
  10. Lex Luger, The Giant, Steiners

Top Ten Things Your Most Likely To Find In Ric Flair's Hotel Room

by Gin
  1. Hair Bleach
  2. A 55 gallon drum of BenGay for "slight" post-match aches & pains
  3. His pink sequin & feather robe (makes you wonder about the 55 gallon drum of BenGay)
  4. His dancing shoes
  5. His favorite book "107 Ways to look and act like a moron"
  6. Cups of soda to throw at Bischoff
  7. A "Hooked On Phonics" type program titled "How To Be Unintelligible"
  8. His McDonald's senior citizen coupon book
  9. A tape recording that just repeats "Kevin Greene was a good idea. Kevin Greene was a good idea. Kevin Greene was a good idea." Over and over again.
  10. Jim Duggan's booze (Have you ever seen the gin blossom on that guy?!?! It looks like a beach ball!!!)

Top Ten Wrestlers That Deserve A Shot At The Gold

by Jimmy B.
  1. Hugh Morrus - when a 350 pound man can do a back flip and land on a guy 3/4 of the ring away and looks like he's nuts, I say give him a shot.
  2. Chris Benoit - He can kick the crap out of anyone
  3. Sting - it's the only way to get him back into the ring, besides I want to see Hogan on the buisness end of the Scorpion Death Drop
  4. Lex Luger - this man has got the muscles of 5 men and has not waivered in his dedication to WCW since the nWo came into town
  5. Kevin Nash - because he is one of the best has a great personality and he shouldn't have to play second fiddle to Halloween Hogan
  6. The Giant - 7 foot 4, 465 pound walkin' talkin' fire breathin' Giant - 'nuff said
  7. Diamond Dallas Page - cause he deserves it and he was cheated when he won the Battle Bowl and the shot was given to Luger
  8. Dean Malenko - He's definitely one of the best, knows what he's doing, doesn't need games like "I'm Hollywood 'cause I make sucky movies for pre-teens"
  9. Meng - The man is mean enough, big enough, and bad enough to get the job done
  10. Ric Flair - 'cause the nWo's problems are with the establishment, The Four Horsemen are that establishment, Ric Flair is the Four Horsemen

Top Ten Angles That Should Be Dropped

by Eric L. at Michigan Technological University
  1. Sting as the Crow III: Arguably the best main-event wrestler around today (see the list on "Matches worth buying the PPV for"). Put him back in the ring where he belongs. He doesn't have to go back to his old surfer-self, but get him in the ring. (I don't even care if he talks. I want to see Hogan in the Scorpion Death Lock.)
  2. Glacier and Mortis: Again, who cares? Let these two go to the WWF where their gimmicks look almost normal compared to some of McMahon's stuff. And bringing in Wrath/Adam Bomb and that full contact Karate champ? Why add to a pointless angle?
  3. Flair's comeback: I remember watching him 10 years ago when he took guys to 60 minute draws. Seeing him now is almost sad. Let him have Dillon's old job as a manager, where he can still do wonders on the mic. Nobody has ever been better at interviews.
  4. Jarrett and McMichael: Either let them feud, or let them be partners and beat the crap out of somebody. Enough of this on-again off-again crap.
  5. Greene and McMichael: This one would be OK if Greene was going to be a full-time wrestler, getting him in a feud would be a good way to get him over. But what little heat is generated will be gone in July when he reports for football camp.
  6. Hogan as champion: Don't they claim for there to be a 30 day limit to defend the title? He hasn't defended it in 2 or 3 months now? Give the title to someone with a contract that says he has to wrestle.
  7. The nWo doing run-ins on every match with Hall, Nash, Syxx, or Hogan: Enough already, we get the point.
  8. Alex Wright as a heel: Who cares?
  9. JJ Dillon as a useless bureaucrat: Have him put together a group of guys to kick the crap out of the nWo, and be done with it. Let it start with Sting, so he can tell Bischoff "Now I have some 'stroke'".
  10. Benoit/Sullivan feud: Let's make it safe to use a men's room again, and let a good wrestler take on someone that is 1) his own age and 2) in decent shape. And please, get Sullivan out of those speedos before my fiancee gets sick!

Top Ten Wrestlers Who Have Been Either Overpushed Or Underpushed By WCW

by Karmacide
  1. Glacier - OK, we are supposed to be impressed with a man who:
    1. Hasn't beat anyone tougher than the Disco Inferno?
    2. The match against the Disco Inferno was a fluke, Disco should have locked him in the "Last Dance".
    3. When the Disco Inferno told him befor the match that he should leave so the audience can just watch him dance, the audience agreed.
    Waaaayyyy over pushed.
  2. Psicosis - Every time he wrestles Rey Misterio, Jr. he puts on a good match and they make a big deal about how he's Rey Misterio's archnemisis. Every other time he wrestles he's a complete jobber. I mean I don't get it, he has a super cool mask and costume, he has a decent arsenal of moves, and the balls to give the audience the finger, I mean what more could you want for a mega heel. Waaayyy underpushed.
  3. La Parka - Yet another talented Mexican Wrestler reduced to jobber status. Underpushed.
  4. The Disco Inferno - Did anyone see his match against Dean Malinko at Bash at the Beach? He's a pretty good wrestler and he's got a great sense of humor. Too bad he got fired. Underpushed
  5. Steve "Mongo" McMichael - He can't wrestle his way out of a paper bag, and you expect us to believe he's a Horsemen? Overpushed.
  6. "Diamond" Dallas Page - He's just not as funny as he used to be. Just mispushed.
  7. Prince Ieakea - This guy couldn't give Bob "Sparkplug" Holly a run for his money, and we are supposed to belive he beat Rey Misterio, Jr. Let's look at the Prince's match against La Parka:
    1. Right off the bat La Parka clobbers Iaukea with a moonsault.
    2. La Parka gets a chair and beats the crap out of the Prince.
    3. The referee doesn't disqualify La Parka, so La Parka throws the Prince out of the ring and slide kicks the chair into Iaukea's face.
    4. The Prince climbs back into the ring and climbs the top rope.
    5. Iaukea dives from the top ropes but La Parka lifts the chair as to hit him in the face. In real life the Prince would have been clobbered but some how at this point Prince knocks out La Parka for the win.
    And we are supposed to be impressed with this guy. Overpushed, BIGTIME.
  8. Women's Wrestlers in General - Why did WCW introduce a Women's Cruiserwieght Division, when they don't support the Heaveyweight women's wrestlers. How many women are there in WCW? And can't they find one who's more interesting to watch than Madusa? Underpushed?
  9. Football Players in General - John Petrie said it best "Reggie White makes Lawernece Taylor look like Sabu." Overpushed
  10. "The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan - How can I be scared of him when his girlfriend can suplex a 250 lb man, and he can't. Overpushed.

Top Ten Guys That Deserve A Good Old-Fashioned Horsemen-Style Beating

by B.J.
  1. Syxx - what would he do without Hall and Nash?
  2. Kevin Sullivan - get this guy away now
  3. Ricky Morton - just for old times sake
  4. Paul Roma - for having the gall (is that how you spell that word?) to allow himself to become a horsemen--degrading to say the least (this could also go for Mongo and Jeff Jarrett)
  5. Lee Marshall - isn't it obvious?
  6. Scott Hall - what would he do without Nash?
  7. Hulk Hogan - for the pure amusement
  8. The NOD, nWo, Hart Foundation, bWo - they all owe a great deal of gratitude to the original dominant stable
  9. Dusty Rhodes - see #3
  10. Ole Anderson - because he wants time off to spend with his "snot-nosed kid" --oh yeah, that happened already

Top 10 Dropped WCW Angles In Just The Last 12 Months

by Bill from DDT Digest
  1. The nWo Challenging For Any Title At Any Card - Considering this angle was the main event of a pay-per-view, you'd think it would mean something. Thus far, the nWo has used it once, for Macho Man to challenge Prince Iaukea for the TV Title.
  2. Piper's Family - So they're going to wrestle. Then, because they are "family", they are going to watch Piper's back. Then, they vanish. Given the alternative of actually having to see Piper's personal assistant in a wrestling ring again, I shouldn't complain.
  3. Greene and the Horsemen - So the Horsemen convince your partner to turn on you and whack you over the head with a metal Haliburton. Then, you do a TV interview saying how you are going to get even. Then, all of a sudden, you are Ric Flair's best buddy. That makes sense.
  4. Kevin Sullivan's Son - So, we give this nobody airtime, he busts a chair over Sullivan's head at a house show in Baltimore, and then he vanishes. Geez, and I thought Erik Watts was a one-hit wonder.
  5. Scott Hall and Jerry Saggs - So, they get in a real life fight with Saggs knocking out a couple of Hall's teeth. Then, because everyone has heard about it, WCW starts to turn it into an angle. Then, the Nasty Boys vanish.
  6. DDP's Benefactor - This one vanished off the face of the earth. In interviews, DDP doesn't even acknowledge it ever existed.
  7. The Attack On Arn Anderson Before The Surgery - Yeah, here's a good idea...start an angle with someone who is going to be out for four months.
  8. "He was not supposed to be here..." - Granted, neither Benoit or Malenko are going to deliver the next Gettysburg Address, but WHAT were they talking about?
  9. The Nasty Boys Meeting Up With Ed Leslie After Being Refused Entry To Nitro - Like Piper's family, I'm counting my blessings.
  10. The Leprechaun - Like Piper's family, I'm counting my blessings. Granted, wrestlers come and go all the time, but the Leprechaun was just Buddy Lee Parker in disguise.
Keep in mind, all of these have happened in the last twelve months. Anybody who doesn't think the WCW booking is in complete disarray should read this list.

Top 10 Wrestlers That Really Need To Come Back To The Spotlight

by B.J.
  1. Tully Blanchard - One of the best heels ever, now a minister (but so was Sam Kinison and Slick, if that means anything); he could really help sort out the Horsemen situation (wouldn't a Tully/Arn (assuming he can make it back)/Flair vs. Benoit/Malenko/Regal match for the Horseman title be something?)
  2. Michael "P.S." Hayes - I know he's Dok Hendrix over there in gimmick land, but a rebirth of the Freebirds in WCW with Hayes as the leader/manager would be great
  3. Dynamite Kid - Yeah, he's almost paralyzed, but if he wasn't, he and Chris Benoit would make one of the best tag teams in history (he and Davey Boy are already in that category)
  4. Ricky Steamboat - I think he's pretty much injured beyond repair as well, but you can't forget one of the participants in some of the greatest matches ever (vs. Savage and vs. Flair)
  5. Rick Martel - the "Model" gimmick made him look like a wuss, but he was great as AWA champion, maybe he could reteam with Tom Zenk
  6. Magnum TA - not as a wrestler, but as an announcer; he and Dusty could take over the Muthaship (a James Boys reunion, if you weeeeelll.)
  7. Nikita Koloff - typical Russian enemy during the Cold War, turned friend to Dusty, could be a great asset if he's still in the same shape
  8. Brutus Beefcake - yeah, I'm probably his only fan on the planet, but I liked the guy (especially when teaming with the Hammer) - have you seen him on "Thunder in Paradise"? How old are those shows?
  9. "Cowboy" Bob Orton - could team with Piper against Hogan and Rodman (almost as formidable an opponent as Mr T)
  10. Ole Anderson - see #1

Top 10 Wrestlers Who Need To Stay In Hiding

by B.J.
  1. Doink - without a doubt, the dumbest idea ever (beating the Gobeldegooker or whatever, since they realized their mistake and dumped that pretty quick, but they let Doink go on forever)
  2. Special Delivery Jones - All I remember is he was pinned by King Kong Bundy in 9 very long seconds at WrestleMania I and I had his LJN figure for no other reason than he was the only one the store had
  3. Leaping Lanny "The Genius" Poffo - yeah, the poems were humorous when you're 10, but being the brother of Randy Savage should get you nowhere (but since he is a Friend of Hogan, that counts for something) - I heard he's coming to WCW; that may be a bigger mistake than all of these guys from other sports coming in
  4. The Bushwackers - unless you bring them back as the Sheepherders (those matches with the Fantastics in UWF were classics) - the WWF turned them into slobbering morons
  5. Ultimate Warrior - until he can get over his Hogan-size ego problem, let him run his Warrior University
  6. Dusty Rhodes - in terms of wrestling, this man should never be seen anywhere near a ring again (or in more general terms, in any situation in which he might remove his shirt)
  7. The Fake Razor and Diesel - what were they thinking?
  8. Corporal Kirschner - he won the flag match, he's done all he can do (unless you want to team him up with Hacksaw for a flag match with the Amazing French-Canadians - that one's got classic written all over it)
  9. Koko B. Ware - did anyone ever steal that bird? (I know people have stolen the Bulldogs' Matilda and Jake's Damien, but was he ever important enough to have his bird--Frankie, if I remember correctly--stolen?)
  10. "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin - this guy beat Ric Flair? Why? How? How are his fists that much harder than a normal man (wasn't his finisher a punch in the same accord as Hacksaw, who relies on tape to make his fist harder)? Something I will never understand, I suppose

Top 10 Wrestlers That Should Never Be Allowed To Wrestle Again

by B.J.
  1. The Taskmaster - bookers should not wrestle in general, but specifically him; he's ruining Chris Benoit's career right now, who knows what he could do next?
  2. Rockabilly - not until he gets a new gimmick (or no gimmick at all--what's wrong with that?)
  3. The guy who looks like he's wearing a fur shirt - I forgot his name - he jobs on Worldwide every now and again
  4. Syxx - not until he stops that stupid horseriding manuever in the corner; hasn't anyone told him how stupid he looks doing that?
  5. Reggie White/Kevin Greene/Dennis Rodman -- I know they haven't wrestled yet, but come on...all of your talent and you go get guys from other sports to be in the Main Event of your PPV? What kind of Logic is that? Flair and Piper's partner could be Benoit, or the Giant, or Luger, or DDP, or Sting, or Mysterio (to counter the fact that Syxx is in there), but Kevin Greene?
    Steve McMichael is not included, since he is improving every time he wrestles, and he no longer plays another sport. Personally, I would get nowhere near a place where Dennis Rodman will try to grab me, but that's just me.
  6. Glacier - is there a point? (besides the ever important "They stole his helmet!" angle they've got going--but I will say Adam Bomb looks impressive)
  7. Anyone who has allowed themselves to be beat up by Jacqueline - their careers are already over before they get started
  8. Hulk Hogan - oh yeah, he's already not wrestling
  9. Bobby Eaton - not unless they give him a push (Why did they break up the Bluebloods? Just curious)
  10. Arn Anderson - yeah, I would love to see him back in the ring, but sometimes you just have to choose personal health over glory in wrestling - and retiring now would allow him to leave with dignity, instead of becoming a JTTS, like Eaton and Greg Valentine - although to see him win the world title once would be one of the most memorable moments in wrestling history.

Top 10 Wrestlers Of All Time

by Jack S.
  1. Bret Hart - The cream of the crop from Stu Hart's Dungeon. Two time triple crown winner.
  2. Ric Flair - Thirteen Time Heavyweight Champion of the World, 'nuff said.
  3. Hulk Hogan - I'm a wrestling fan of the 80s what can I say? Has won more WWF titles than anyone else. Tagged with Macho Man. Could have been a very successful tag team if Savage wasn't so paranoid. His "Real American" theme song was one of the best I ever heard.
  4. "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig - Technical skills can only be matched by the Harts. Married into the best wrestling family.
  5. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart - One of the strongest men to be in the WWF. Tagged with Bret Hart to win two titles. Could do it again. Married into the best wrestling family.
  6. Roddy Piper - Great brawler, is trying to smack some sense into Hogan for leaving the WWF.
  7. Rick Martel - He had great technical skills, could fly and brawl with the best of 'em. I also liked the way he didn't really let his degrading "Model" gimmick follow him into the ring.
  8. "Macho Man" Randy Savage - Hated Hulk Hogan enough to jump from the top rope and hit him with a bell.
  9. British Bulldog - Davey Boy Smith has got to be one of the strongest men ever to set foot inside the wrestling ring. Married into the best wrestling family there is, was, and always will be.
  10. "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka - Never won any titles that I know of, but one of the greatest high-flyers the WWF ever had i.e. cage match with Backlund.

Top Ten Ways To Annoy Your Favorite Wrestler

by Punk John
  1. Hold up a sign that says: "Frank Gotch 4 Life" on a live Nitro. Make sure that Larry Zybyszko can see you as Gotch beat Larry's grandfather in record time.
  2. Hold up a "Chris Adams Rules the World" sign on Raw. Make sure Steve Austin can see you as Chris Adams trained Austin at his wrestling school.
  3. Walk up to Kevin Nash and say " Wow. You're Vinnie Vegas. What have you been up to?"
  4. Walk up to Scott Hall and say: "Wow. The Diamond Studd. What have you been up to?"
  5. Walk up to Chris Benoit and say: "Wow. Wild Pegasus, etc..."
  6. Try to slip money into Marc Mero's tights. People used to do that when he was Johnny B. Badd.
  7. Talk to Dustin "Golddust" Rhodes about how great his father is.
  8. Hold up a picture of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin that shows him when he was "Stunning" Steve Austin.
  9. Send pictures of Paul Orndorff to Big Van Vader.
  10. Go up to Shawn Micheals and ask him when the Rockers are getting back together.

Top Ten Ways To Incorporate Wrestling In Your Classroom

by Punk John
  1. Make sure that your answers on a multiple choice test contain at least one wrestling reference:
    i.e. Who was the First Shogun of Japan?
    1. Yoritomo Minamoto
    2. Masa Hiro Chono
    3. Jushin "Thunder" Liger
    4. Ultimo Dragon
  2. If two kids fight in the building say: "Are Sullivan and Benoit at it again?"
  3. If you are the coach for the wrestling team, distract the referee so another kid in your "stable" can hit your opponent with a folding chair.
  4. If a kid is getting jumped; rescue him with a folding chair.
  5. Bother the kid in your class, who likes wrestling, about what happened last night.
  6. Start an "nWo" chant at the school pep rally.
  7. Hold up an "nWo" sign at a pep rally.
  8. Be ready to explain to your principal what the nWo is.
  9. Throw any kid who assaults you butt-first down the stairs (Sullivan to Benoit)
  10. Give very long "Stone Cold" style rants in your lectures.

Top Ten Famous People I Would Like To See Wrestle And Why

by Matt Fish at Western Carolina University
  1. Bob Dole - The man has to fight Hogan...Who else is Hogan's age?!
  2. Jackie Chan - Someone to show Glaicer how to really use Kung Fu.
  3. Clint Eastwood - He would fight Piper for attitude adjustment.
  4. Bill Clinton & William H. Taft (if he were still alive) - A tag team bigger than The Nasty Boys!!!!
  5. Jack Palance - Show Flair who really is tougher.
  6. Shannon Dougherty - Miss Elizabeth!!!!! Who else could play a bad acting pimp girl!
  7. Elizabeth Taylor - Sister Sherri....equal in wrinkles!
  8. Dennis Rodman - Even though he "supposedly" is going to wrestle... I would just like to see him get his butt whipped!
  9. Elle Macpherson - KIMBERLY all the way!!!!
  10. Brandon Lee (if he were still alive) - Just to come and kick STING'S butt for stealing his outfit.

Top Ten Matches That I Wish Could Happen But Can't

by Heff
  1. Bruno Sammartino (70s) vs. Hulk Hogan (80s) - I couldn't even begin to imagine how much heat would be involved in this match.
  2. The Giant vs. Andre the Giant - Battle of the two greatest big men of all time.
  3. Sabu vs. Bruiser Brody - Two of the wildest wrestlers ever in what what be an unbelievable brawl.
  4. Superstar Billy Graham (1977) vs. Hulk Hogan (1980s) - Battle of two ex WWF champs.
  5. Bruno Sammartino vs. Ric Flair - The best wrestler of the 70s vs the best of the 80s.
  6. Bob Backlund (1970s) vs. Bret Hart - I know they have met before, but Backlund was no where near his prime. This would be a real classic.
  7. The Sheik (1970s) vs Sabu - It would be awesome if it took place at an ECW arena.
  8. The Road Warriors (mid 80s) vs. Hall and Nash - This would be great when the Road Warriors were at their peak, I consider them the best team ever during the mid eighties. Now they are way past their prime.
  9. The Ultimate Warrior vs. Sting - This could still happen, but I don't think the Warrior will ever be in mainstream wrestling again.
  10. Ken Patera vs Vader - In the 70s, Patera was an awesome heel just like Vader during his mid-90s WCW tour.

Top Ten WCW Wrestlers The Average Joe Could Whip In Real Life

by Matt Larsen at Washington State University
  1. Glacier
  2. Piper's original "family" for Uncencored '97
  3. Billy Kidman
  4. Renegade
  5. Eddie Guerrero
  6. nWo Sting
  7. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (well, now)
  8. Alex Wright
  9. Scotty Riggs
  10. "Squire" Dave Taylor

Top Ten Worst Wrestling Games Of All Time

by Big Rob
  1. WWF WRESTLEMANIA (NES) - Leave it to Nintendo to permit a company like LJN to make the STUPIDEST wrestling game ever. They must've thought that the buy rate would rest upon the fact that Walrus Face is on the box cover, so all the kids got were two block figures putputputputputputing around the screen and super bad alignment, which means you couldn't throw a single move mistake, THERE AREN'T ANY MOVES.
  2. WWF WRESTLING CHALLENGE (NES) - An improvement over Superstars, but they should've called this Lilliputian Wrestling Challenge considering that you need a magnifying glass to distinguish the wrestlers. Plus they all had the same moves, flickered when they got too close, and they looked like monkeys when climbing up the corner post.
  3. M.U.S.C.L.E. (NES) - ?????
  4. POWER MOVE PRO WRESTLING (PSX) - WCW should've endorsed Toukon Retsudon, giving promos to NJPW, which would bring more Japanese wrestlers to the states, but they let Activision assign this game a team that doesn't know jack about wrestling gimmicks, which resulted in a real screw-job of one of the best damn games on the market (King Og?!? Please).
  5. SUPER WRESTLEMANIA (SNES) - Good graphics, but each wrestler is a carbon copy of each other, and the super slowness gave me a severe case of the Z's. Come on, WWF Superstars (Arcade) is still one of my favorites, and uses half the technology that went into this joke.
  6. WWF ROYAL RUMBLE (SNES) - More wrestlers, same game.
  7. WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING (NES) - Same bodies, same moves, different heads. It looks stupid when you hit a guy with a wrench.
  8. WCW SUPERBRAWL (SNES) - This dime-store imitation of Super Wrestlemania had the wrestlers looking as if somebody put some popsicle sticks together, painted them over, glued them together to resemble wrestlers, and viola!
  9. HAMMERLOCK PRO WRESTLING (SNES) - You can get it at K-Mart for $10, even cheaper at the swap meet. Have fun.
  10. WRESTLEMANIA: THE ARCADE GAME (ALL PLATFORMS) - Mortal Kombat meets Vince's gimmick staff. At least Doink is hyped up.

Top Ten Ways To Incorporate Professional Wrestling Into Real Life Situations

by Leroy Larson at King Leo's Wrestling Homepage
  1. Purchase a replica belt, or if you're really ambitious, win a real one, then carry it everywhere you go. Offer anyone a shot at your title.
  2. When asked to give a thought or a saying that changed your life, pick a wrestling quote. (My personal favorite is one from Chris Benoit: "A man who knows others is strong. A man who knows himself is all powerful.")
  3. When writing stories for English class, use wrestler names. Use wrestling interviews whenever possible.
  4. Read wrestling magazines in public.
  5. Make every conversation turn to wrestling.
  6. Start chants at amateur wrestling events. Some good ones would be "DDT", "moonsault", "boooring", and just about any ECW chant.
  7. Wear wrestling t-shirts. Give lengthy explanations if anyone asks for an explanation on meaning.
  8. If you can pick the music, play "El Scorcho" by Weezer or anything from the WWF Full Metal album.
  9. Pick wrestling nicknames for everyone. If, for example, John Doe starts to whine, call him John "Hit Man" Doe. If Jane Doe swears, call her "Stone Cold" Jane Doe.
  10. Whenever someone has a baseball bat, but no ball, call them Sting.

Kevin's Top Ten Reasons To Watch Wrestling

by Kevin T.
  1. Bret Hart - In my opinion the best wrestler ever. Bret has basically done it all in the WWF. If he ever came to WCW, he would kick ass there too.
    Minuses - Jobbed to Crush and Owen Hart in one week (March 1994)
    Most Memorable Moment-Shoving Vince McMahon on his ass
  2. Steve Austin - The undisputed King of Interviews. He is the toughest son of a bitch in wrestling. (He showed the world that at WrestleMania XIII)
    Minuses - Jobbed to Jim Duggan (If I had to job to Duggan, I would leave WCW too!)
    Most Memorable Moment - Not submitting at WM XIII
  3. Kevin Nash- Has the most effective powerbomb in the sport today and is the only wrestler to win the triple crown in one year.
    Minuses - Being JTTS as Oz and Vinnie Vegas
    Most Memorable Moment - Jacknifing Eric Bischoff through a table
  4. Dean Malenko- IMO, the sport's most underrated star. He is the most technically sound ahtlete in wrestling
    Minuses - Jobbed to Mr JL in the Cruiserweight tournament last year
    Most Memorable Moment - Winning the US title
  5. new World order- The funniest and most efficient stable ever
    Minuses - Starrcade and Souled Out were disasters for them
    Most Memorable Moment - Taking over Nitro on September 23, 1996
  6. Shawn Michaels - The proclaimed most resilent, flamboyant, most charismatic superstar in the world today. I don't care who you are, you have to respect this man
    Minuses - Jobbed the IC title to Marty Jannetty
    Most Memorable Moment - Throwing Marty Jannetty through a window
  7. Chris Benoit - The second most underrated superstar in the sport today. Anybody who can survive brawls like he has certainly deserves better treatment than WCW gives him
    Minuses - Jobbed to Hugh Morris
    Most Memorable Moment - Beating Kevin Sullivan at The Great American Bash 1996.
  8. Ric Flair - The real Icon of wrestling.
    Minuses - Jobbed the World title to Ronnie Garvin
    Most Memorable Moment - Too many to mention
  9. Diamond Dallas Page - The hardest worker in the history of wrestling. The Diamond Cutter is the most devastating finisher today.
    Minuses - Jobbed to Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
    Most Memorable Moment - Fooling the nWo into thinking he had joined them
  10. Ahmed Johnson - The strongest athlete in the sport today. This man is definitely a future WWF champion.
    Minuses - Jobbed to Crush
    Most Memorable Moment - Defeating Goldust for the IC title

Top Ten Tag Teams I'd Love To See

by Sam Brady
  1. Kevin Nash and Steve Austin -- the baddest asses in the business.
  2. Chris Benoit and Steve Austin -- a close second.
  3. Hugh Morrus and Vader -- how about a double moonsault for a finisher?
  4. Rey Mysterio, Jr. and The Undertaker -- savor the irony.
  5. Chris Benoit and Bret Hart -- just so Benoit could turn on Bret and give him the clubberin' of his life.
  6. Dean Malenko and The Undertaker -- think about it for a minute.
  7. Chris Jericho and Hunter Hearst Helmsley -- if they lost, Ed Leslie could cut their hair.
  8. Jacqueline and Chyna -- they could beat The Extreme, anyway.
  9. Glacier and Goldust -- because they deserve each other.
  10. Billy Kidman and Leif Cassidy -- any good federation needs some jobbers.

Top Ten Matches That Would Be Worth Spending $29.99 For A Pay Per View

by John "Golddust" Young
  1. Bret Hart vs. Hulk Hogan - Can you imagine the legitimate heat this one would cause between these two WWF legends?
  2. Shawn Michaels vs. Sabu - This one would probably be the most athletic contest ever, if Sabu would be allowed to be extreme.
  3. The Giant vs. Kevin Nash - Nash is probably the only wrestler that can closely match the Giant's size and power.
  4. Steve Austin vs. Taz - Both are currently the best monster heels in the business.
  5. Sting vs. Bret Hart - It would be a shame never to get to see this one before they both get too old.
  6. Rey Misterio, Jr. vs. Sabu - Even though Ray is too small, the moves they could perform on each other would be awesome.
  7. Sting vs. Shawn Michaels - Arguably the two best draws in wrestling today.
  8. Ric Flair vs. Dean Malenko - Ric finally passes the torch as the best all around competitor.
  9. Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Nash - It would have been a lot better in Hogan's prime, but it would be fun to watch Nash pound on Hogan's dried up carcass.
  10. Sid Vicious vs. Lex Luger - Two of the most physically imposing wrestlers ever and two of the biggest underachievers.

Top Ten Athletes Who Will Soon Join WCW, And What They Will Probably Accomplish

by Norm Hastings at Western Carolina University
  1. Tiger Woods will win the Television Championship by making Ultimo Dragon submit to his "Sand Wedgie" submission move.
  2. Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras will form a tag team and have Jim Cornette manage them (hey, why not? They all use rackets!)
  3. Albert Belle will join the NWO and challenge Sting to a home run derby contest. Sting will then be forced to buy a real bat, because you can't hit home runs with bats made by Nerf.
  4. Public Enemy will recruit Shaquille O"neal to help put more lyrics on their entrance music. He is an incredible songwriter :)
  5. Deion Sanders will challenge Dennis Rodman for the newly formed Ego Heavyweight championship belt. It'll end in a draw, though.
  6. Brian Cox will challenge the newly signed Reggie White to a no holds barred Philadelphia street fight, because Cox is mad he didn't make it to the Hall of Fame and Reggie did (or will)
  7. Hulk Hogan will lose the title to Muggsy Bogues after Muggsy cheap shots Hogan with a loaded basketball.
  8. Lanny Dykstra will defeat Dean Malenko for the US Heavyweight belt after Dykstra nails Malenko with his patented "Super Loogie" (have you ever seen how much tobacco Dykstra dips??? Yuck!).
  9. Dan Jansen will defeat Jeff Jarrett, Ric Flair, and Greg Valentine with his "figure eight" leglock.
  10. Bill Laimbeer will sign with WCW as "the next man who will bring Hulkamania to the 21st century", but will become a jobber after losing to referree Randy Anderson in a steel cage match.

Top Ten Actors to play Wrestlers in Hollywood Blockbuster about Pro Wrestling

by Rockin' Debra N.
  1. Al Pacino as Ric Flair: Although he may have to tone down his usual over-the-top hammy performance to portray the more refined Flair. Hoooo!
  2. Emilio Estevez as Owen Hart: Actually are the same person.
  3. Kirk Douglas as "Hollywood Hulk" Hogan: Even after his debilitating stroke, the Hollywood legend is still more verbally articulate than "Hollywood" Hogan.
  4. Jim Carrey as Glacier: He could easily mimic Glacier's entrance with the second-turnbuckle un-masking ("BOO-WAAAH!"). But how does one parody a parody?
  5. Bruce Willis as Dean Malenko: These incredible thespians share miniscule hairlines and miniscule acting talent. Or, how about "The Man of 1,000 Plugs"?
  6. Jim Belushi as Steve "Mongo" McMichael: Self-explanatory!
  7. Brent Spiner as Mike Tenay: The "Data of WCW" requires an actor with great intensity to recite obscure wrestling maneuvers the way he does.
  8. Jeffrey Jones as Bobby "Brain" Heenan: If Heenan's schedule is too full to allow him to play himself, I'd pick an older. fatter Jones.
  9. Suzanne Somers as Madusa: Actually are the same person.
  10. Eric Roberts as Eric Bischoff: Only if the film is released straight to video and/or Cinemax.

Top Ten Reasons Why Wrestling Is A Lot Like Life

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. In our lives we go through many changes. Wrestlers just happen to go through the same changes that we go through. Only they go through them over the course of a few years rather than a whole lifetime. Just ask Ed Leslie, Matt Borne, Crush, and Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker
  2. Haven't you ever wished that somebody else could be you just for a night (Just ask Doink how it feels when this actually happens :)
  3. When you watch the Olympics you that you want to break into chants of "USA, USA, USA", when we are palying the Chinese in ping-pong!
  4. You have those days when you are on top of the world! (i.e Prince Iaukea taking the TV strap from Regal)
  5. You have had those times where absolutely nothing in your life goes right (i.e the Bootyman getting the living bejesus kicked out of him by everybody in the WCW and NWO with the exception of "Desperado" Joe Gomez, Jim Powers, and nWo Sting).
  6. When you do something good you know that you deserve a self high-five DDP style.
  7. How many times have you distinguished yourself for doing somethimg really good only to ruin your good name by doing something you have no business doing! (i.e. Steve "Mongo" McMichael)
  8. How many times has a wife or girlfriend discouraged you from doing so! (i.e Debrah McMichael)
  9. How many times have you wanted to gather three of your closest friends and then do a mudhole stomp on a boss, Jeff Jarrett, co-worker, or fellow student Horseman style?
  10. The struggle of good vs. evil

Top Ten Wrestlers Who Have Hit Rock Bottom

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. "The Man Who Will Take Hulkamania into the 21st Century" The Renegade - It almost seems like forever since he was TV champ, but it was only two short years ago. He now gets jobbed out to High Voltage and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. He must really need the money!!!!!!
  2. "Desperado" Joe Gomez - He really hasn't fallen that much. Losing to Jim Powers and "Hardwork" Bobby Walker with the Renegade by his side when they used to beat teams like them and High Voltage is sort of like falling out of a 1st floor window, but that does not make his situation any less pitiful! When The Renegade can't put up with you, you may as well quit the whole wrestling business and return to selling women's shoes.
  3. "Das Wunderkid" Alex Wright - Remember when this guy got a push? I don't really remember, but I did hear that he did (pretty unbelievable). I really can't see him getting any kind of a push in the future (I mean they tagged him with Mark Starr for crying out loud), so he ought to just go to college or something. Skinny German guys with fake accents can really pick up a lot of women at a place like the University of Oklahoma.
  4. Doink - This is the gimmick (not the individual) that holds victories over such superstars as Crush and Shawn Michaels. Now, I am not so sure whether they would book him to beat Roadblock if he made a comeback.
  5. The Nasty Boys - From tag team of the year (I think in 1995) to a team that is lucky if they could get a match on Pro. It really seems that there is only room for one tag team with the street fighting persona and that is Public Enemy who are infinitely more over than the Nasties at this point.
  6. M. Wallstreet (Mike Rotunda) - The man was once a headliner. It may have been 12 years ago, but a headliner is a headliner. Now, I wouldn't pay $2to see him at the local high school gymnasium.
  7. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine - Sorry Greg! A win over Billy Kidman does not make you #1 contender for a world title shot. It justs shows that you can beat Billy Kidman. Hell, if I went down to the WCWSN tapings and said "I want to wrestle," they would probably book ME to beat Billy Kidman.
  8. (tie)-John "Earthquake" Tenta/Big "Bossman-Bubba" Rogers - Both were headliners at Summerslam '90. Now, the only thing they can headline is the Mulberry County pie eating contest. (My money is on Tenta!)
  9. Aldo Montoya - Another case of jumping out of a first floor window - not too far to fall. If he is going to job as much as he does the WWF may as well put him and Barry Horowitz in gold masks and make them the NEW Conquistadors. At least that would be fun to watch.
  10. Lelani Kai - What a horrible fate for the former ladies champion. She must really need the money. I feel bad for her. Maybe she can be a valet for Jim Powers, Joe Gomez or nWo Sting. At least that would give her some purpose.

Top 10 Men Who Should Never Have Held A Title

by Punk John
  1. The Renagade: "The man who will lead Hulkamania into the 21st century" Why else would he be worst?
  2. Hulk Hogan: If the man can't do anything without the NWO, they should punk him. Besides, I don't care about Rodman.
  3. Jim "I use a taped fist and don't get disqualified" Duggan: When he starts USA chants when his opponent is from the USA, I change the channel because it's insulting.
  4. Prince Iawhatever: I see nothing different from him and Rocky "please cheer for me" Maivia.
  5. Rey Misterio, Jr: After losing the WCW Cruiserweight title, he hasn't won a single PPV.
  6. "Lord" Steven Regal: After seeing him keep the WCW TV title by time limit draw about a million times, I have gotten bored.
  7. The Godwinns: As I saw on an issue of Professional Wrestling Insider,"Champs for a moment, fools for a lifetime."
  8. The Sandman: A chain smoker could never hold the ECW title!
  9. Jerry "The King" Lawler: I am getting tired of seeing him win the USWA unified title every week.
  10. Bob Holly: I never even heard he held the WWF Intercontinental title. [Editor's Note: Whether or not Bob Holly ever held the WWF Intercontinental Title depends on your definition. He won the title match but the title was held up. He lost the rematch.]

Top 10 Wrestling Moves To Do On Your Little Cousin

by Punk John
  1. DDT. This is their favorite.
  2. Torture rack. Someone called this a "demented piggy bank ride". They were right.
  3. Perfect plex. Second favorite.
  4. Body slam. Simple, yet effective.
  5. Jackknife. I can never get this quite right.
  6. Sharp shooter. The one move that everyone can tell does not hurt.
  7. Tombstone piledriver. This is OK.
  8. Randy Savage elbow drop. This is the one where he lays his forearm on you.
  9. Shoulder breaker. Two words: Papa Shango.
  10. Body press/splash. Make sure you do it the Ultimate Warrior's way.

Top 10 Most Memorable Heel Turns

by Big Rob
  1. "You people can just stick it brother!!" No reference needed here, since everyone's favorite suntanned, steroid induced walrus finally told everyone who bought in to Hulkamania, from the T-shirts to the even stupider cartoon show (I was 14 when it aired and even I got stomach turns), what idiots they were to think that he gave a rat's hiney about saying prayers, working hard, and eating vitamins, or 'roids.
  2. Paul Orndorff waffling you-know-who with a clothesline and a piledriver after their match against King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd. Classic!! Go into your local video store and look in the old school wrestling section known as "Special Interest", and maybe you'll find the video with that clip. Yet after all what Hogan did to him, Orndorff still had to job to this guy because Hogan was Vince's Yacht payments.
  3. The Horsemen giving Sting the boot at Clash of The Champions. Flair hated Sting so much he even kneed him the family jewels after landing a forearm, which was a real blow. Then Sting came out trying to get at Flair, Flair charged at Sting, beating the blood out of Mascara boy, and...nuff said. WCW put this one over so good that the fans were even cheering for Muta, Buzz Sawyer and the Dragonmaster (some Jobbernese) to kick the Horsemen's rear in the cage match.
  4. Ricky Morton joining the York Foundation. Although he sucked even more after he turned heel and had to go back to the Rest N' Retirement Express eventually, it was nice to see him sucker-punch and piledrive Robert "Crow" Gibson to let him and eveyone else know who carried the team.
  5. Shawn Michaels punking Marty Janetty on the Barber Shop. Marty Janetty was the first jobber/worker to go through a window, and should receive some credit since he was juicing like nobody's business. However, this was an example of the Shawn I used to know rather than this "toy" he is today. Fans love him now, but they used to deify him then.
  6. Barry Windham lariating Lex Luger and joining the Horsemen. Okay, so it wasn't much except for Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson winning the tag belts and Barry getting the Midnight Rider's mask to prove it was Dusty. But it did put Windham over as the greatest U.S. champ in history, because he whupped tail better than Stone Cold, wrestled better than Bret or Misawa, and clawed better than Kerry Von Erich. My vote for best Horseman of all time.
  7. Randy Savage blasting Hogan with the WWF belt after Hogan stole Liz. Hogan was worse then than he is today, because he hated the fact that Savage was WWF champ and not him. So what do you do? Destroy the other guy's life to build your own back up. Simple. BTW, see #1.
  8. The Road Warriors turning on Sting, Luger, and all of WCW. They cleaned house for eight straight months after that, with them FINALLY winning the tag belts and even taking out one of Dusty's eyes. I hated it when the Varsity Club made them turn face again.
  9. Bret telling America to kiss his Canadian bum. If Bret winds up like Bob Backlund (he had the same Mr. Clean purpose too, and look at him), I will pay Kama to get out of that Vegas stripclub and put on the Papa Shango gimmick so he can put a curse on Vince that'll make him throw up whenever he's with a non-wrestling audience, such as some sports show on Primeticket.
  10. Rick Martel walking out on Tito Santana at Wrestlemania V. The heel turn wasn't nearly as satisfying its result...seeing Tito Santana be the victim of a spike piledriver from the Brainbusters.

Top 10 Most Impressive Moves In Wrestling

by Sam B.
  1. A big man doing a moonsault (Vader, Hugh Morrus): Morrus's "No Laughing Matter" may be one of the most athletic things I've ever seen, in any sport. I can't believe a man of his size can go so far through the air while doing a backflip then still land on the other wrestler.
  2. Anyone flying off the turnbuckle or over the ropes onto someone outside the ring (most of the cruiserweights): These guys are out of their minds.
  3. The Choke Slam the Giant gave Vince on Nitro when Vince was going to hit him with Sting's bat: This might be the single most vicious move I have ever seen.
  4. A Frankensteiner (especially the one Chris Jericho pulled off the top turnbuckle at Clash): Would you let someone fling you through the air by your neck?
  5. A Superplex: Being thrown upside-down through the air off a turnbuckle isn't how I'd want to spend my time. And it can't be too much fun for the guy doing the throwing, either.
  6. A good, hard Power Bomb (Vader, Kevin Nash, Sid): It's even more fun if they do it outside the ring (through a table, on the floor, etc.)
  7. Rey Mysterio Jr's top rope hurricarana: I don't think any other move is more dependent upon both wrestlers being in exactly the right place at exactly the right time. Plus, it just looks so cool when it works
  8. I don't know if it has a name or not, but when Scott Steiner catches a guy in midair coming off the turnbuckle then lifts him above his head before slamming him to the mat, it's a thing of beauty.
  9. The Torture Rack: Yeah, everyone (including me) rags on it, but it *is* an impressive display of upper body strength. Consider that he's had just about everybody in WCW (including Roadblock, Kevin Nash, and the Giant) up in the last six months. That tells you something.
  10. A really good, loud chop to the chest. I especially love it when Chris Benoit gets someone just right and you hear that "pop" and see that handprint on the other guy's chest.

Ten Moves I Have No Respect For

by Sam B.
  1. The Torture Rack: OK, it may be an impressive display of strength but hey, if it's so hot, why doesn't anyone else do it? Everyone and his brother have a power bomb or a leglock of some sort, but only Luger uses the Rack. That tells you something.
  2. Clothesline: The last resort of the truly moveless. Duggan and Mongo, are you listening?
  3. The Tree Of Woe: Come on people, just get off the turnbuckle!!! Chris Benoit is the only guy I've ever seen get down, and even he went ahead and laid up for it after all the next week. Sigh.
  4. Big Bubba's famous pulled punches that come to rest about eight feet from the face of the guy he's supposed to be hitting.
  5. The Leg Drop Of Doom: 'nuff said.
  6. Any elbow drop: If it left the other guy writhing in pain and unable to speak or breathe for ten or fifteen minutes like an elbow to the throat ought to do I might feel differently. But, since it doesn't, it's here.
  7. Sleeper hold: Oh come on. I especially love it when the ref does the three "lift the arm" checks -- One, arm flops down. Two, arm flops down. Three, it stays up!!! (or Duggan gives the old thumbs-up...HOOOOOOOO!!!) Let the Comeback begin!!! Who wrote this script anyway?
  8. Eddie Guerrero's Frog Splash: It's an aerial move named for an amphibian. Come on, at least Superfly made sense.
  9. Kevin Sullivan's Double Foot Stomp On The Chest Thing: "Okay, you're going to lay down and Kevin's going to jump on your chest then you pretend you're unconscious." Yeah okay, whatever.
  10. The good old face rake. Or should I mention the eye gouge? It doesn't matter. They're both tired old cliches and totally unbelievable.

Top Ten Reasons Why the nWo Just Aren't What They Used to Be

by Anonymous
  1. To complete the look, Scott Hall should shave his head to resemble a mohawk, stop working out, and eat junk food until he gains 70 pounds of flab.
  2. Souled Out made Jim Duggan matches seem interesting!
  3. A simple logic problem: the nWo has around 17 members. WCW has around 60 or so. They've "taken over," haven't they??
  4. Hogan can't act. Scratch that. He pretends to be a wrestler. Hogan couldn't wrestle his way out of a box. Scratch that. He does, everytime I turn off my television when he's on.
  5. Isn't it interesting that a Ted Turner owned product uses black and white as its colors?
  6. More in-fighting since Windham was a member (Sorry, that's why the Horsemen aren't what they used to be).
  7. This year, the coin flip said Savage and Hogan would be friends.
  8. A silly admission rule: You must have more hair on your face than Hogan has on his head or ink on his face.
  9. Eric "I'm associating myself with the same guys who chucked me through a table causing selective amnesia while Turner has my soul in his hand and lips on his butt as I sign guys older than me and from every nation except my own because I know that Hogan can moonsault with the best of them because I showed him how" Bischoff.
  10. nWo really stands for "now We're overrated".

Top Ten More Funniest Things I Ever Saw

by Kevin T.
  1. Bret Hart shoving Vince McMahon
  2. Bret Hart punching Pat Patterson
  3. Ken Shamrock beating the hell out of Billy Gunn
  4. Ric Flair and Vader beating the hell out of Dave Sullivan
  5. Ahmed Johnson's reaction when he found out Golddust was giving him "Mouth to Mouth"
  6. The Fake Razor Ramon get pinned by Jimmy Snuka
  7. Hunter Hearst Helmsley as Intercontiental Champion
  8. 123 Kid and Bob Holly being Tag Team Champions
  9. Steve Regal jobbing to Prince Iaukea
  10. Vader attack Gorilla Monsoon

Top 10 Personnel Changes To Improve The nWo

by H.L.
  1. Ultimate Warrior over Hollywood Hogan - Hey, seriously, when I think icon, I think Warrior. Warrior can actually win a match by himself, and not have to have a bunch of rats beat his opponent up!
  2. No one instead of Hall & Nash - Hey they started the freakin' thing, and so far are the only ones who are decent!
  3. Jacqueline instead of Liz - Hey, with Liz, she'll cry if she hits someone, Jacqueline will MAKE someone cry!
  4. Chris Benoit instead of Scott Norton - Why not have someone who is not on 'roids and still looks great?!? (flying headbutt rules the earth!)
  5. Jerry Flynn over M. Wallstreet - ANYONE over G.D. Wallstreet! Come on!!
  6. Dean Malenko instead of Syxx - Why would you want a cruiserweight wannabe that steals belts, while you could have a REAL cruiserweight, and someone who can WIN the belts?!?
  7. Jimmy Hart instead of Teddy DiBiase - Hey you've gotta face it, Jimmy's one of the best managers of all time. While you're at it, you even get your face on one of his nifty jackets!!
  8. Kevin Sullivan instead of Eric f'n Bischoff - Hey why not have someone who is in control AND can wrestle?
  9. John Tenta instead of Big Bubber - Hey if you want a fat jobber, why not go with one of the best, and has guts enought to wear REAL wrestling tights instead of a T-shirt and Exit to Eden biker shorts
  10. Rick Rude instead of Buff Bagwell - Show that 'roider, what a REAL man looks like

Top Ten Funniest Things I Ever Saw

by Kevin T.
  1. Hulk Hogan legdropping Randy Savage at Bash at the Beach 1996
  2. Kevin Nash powerbombing Eric Bischoff through a stage at The Great American Bash 1996
  3. Bam Bam Bigelow cutting Tatanka's "sacred" red hair
  4. Kevin Nash whipping Randy Savage with a Slim Jim (and the Giant eating it afterwards)
  5. The nWo in the broadcast booth (especially Kevin Nash)
  6. The fake Sting kicking the hell out of Lex Luger
  7. Tatanka kicking the hell out of Lex Luger at SummerSlam 1994
  8. Razor Ramon promos when he first came to the WWF (ie, him taking a apple from a street vendor in Miami)
  9. Prince Iaukea winning the TV title
  10. The Renegade winning the TV title and him being called the Man who will take Hulkamania into the 21st century

Top Ten Worst Jobs in Wrestling History by Timothy Joyce

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Arn Anderson jobs to Renegade for the Television Title: The only satisfaction I have recieved from this is the fact that "the Champ to Chump" is now a Jobber El Grande®.
  2. Steve Austin jobs to Hacksaw Jim Duggan for the US title: The only reason ol' One Eye won the title is because he is a Friend of Hogan (FOH). I don't blame Steve for leaving WCW after that fiasco.
  3. Honky Tonk Man jobs to Ultimate Puk..uh..Warrior for IC title in 30 seconds: It doesn't matter whether you like a guy's gimmick or not, a 30 second job is insulting to both athletes and the fans. They could have at least let Honky do a decent job and keep his self-respect.
  4. Ric Flair jobs to Hulk Hogan for WCW title: Mr. No-Job is a blight on wrestling, and Ric Flair should not have had to even soil his hands on Bollea's steroid-withdrawaled carcass, let alone have to job to him.
  5. The Giant jobs to Hogan at Hog Wild: In real life, Paul would tear Terry in half.
  6. Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels jobbing to Sid for the WWF title: It is well-known that everyone in the real wrestling world has a problem with the guy; so why does Vince keep pushing this steroid-abusing no talent who is obviously disliked by both crews (WCW and WWF)?
  7. Hunter Hearst Hemsley jobs to Rocky Maivia for IC title: No talent, six-month rookie jobbers with lame finishers should not get big pushes just because their father and/or grandfather was some midcarder nobody (no disrespect intended). Period.
  8. HHH jobs to Aurelian "Beer Belly" Roberts: I know he had to be punished, Vince, but don't you think that was a bit harsh?
  9. Lord Steven Regal jobs to PRINCE IAKEUA (?!!???!!?) for the TV title: I would not blame Regal one bit if he tore up his WCW contract and hightailed it over to ECW where they appreciate talented wrestlers and don't try to humiliate them (Note: don't even mention the WWF; two words: Flash Funk). I don't get a crap who his dad was, this Prince Icky-Wicky jerk does NOT deserve the TV title. This is almost as bad as when they made Regal job to Antonio "Japan's Hogan" Inoki and Larry "The Living Bore" Zybysko. What a load of crap!
  10. Anyone jobbing to the Head Booker: Let's see, Dusty "Big Ol' Belly-welly" Rhodes wins the NWA title from Ric Flair, Kevin Sullivan (at about 45 and with a beer belly) squashes every opponent, Hogan beats guys half his age with 1000 times the wrestling talent...gee, I wonder why? Hmmm.......

Top Ten People That Losing To Means It's Time To Retire

By Jim D.
  1. The Renegade - Looks like a Chippendales dancer with that choker around his neck
  2. Aldo Montoya - Speaking of someone who looks ready to retireÖ
  3. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - As Jesse Ventura noted some years ago, yelling "Hooooooo!" while your opponent is pounding the stuffing out of you is not a sign of high intelligence.
  4. Bobby Heenan - As much as I love him as a manager or announcer, he just canít wrestle. Ever see the PWI from 1970 with a bloodied Heenan on the cover and the caption, "My God Bobby, what happened to your face?"
  5. Jim Powers - He wrestled better before the steroid program.
  6. Tom Stone - A $300 a match jobber from the old "WWF Superstars of Wrestling" who beat Jake "The Snake" Roberts back in 1990. Jake has been a shadow of his former self ever since. Hmmm, maybe they should have him beat Hogan, and Snuka, and Piper.
  7. Jacqueline (Miss Texas) - Iím not saying she canít wrestle, but if theyíre forcing a guy to job to any woman other than a former ladies champ, his career is going nowhere anyway.
  8. Roadblock - 400 lbs. is meaningless when the guy has no talent to back it up.
  9. Virgil/Vincent - When they finally threw him into wrestling matches, it was painfully obvious why they hadnít bothered before.
  10. One Man Gang - Roadblock with a push. Scary, isnít it?

Top Ten People Who Should Learn To Say "Would you like fries with that?"

By Leyland
  1. Barry Horowitz
  2. Bob Holly
  3. Jeff Jarrett
  4. Jesse James
  5. Jim Cornette
  6. *Both the Godwinns*
  7. Eric Bischoff, Once NWO is over
  8. Woman (acutally, more "Paper or plastic?")
  9. Jim Ross
  10. Scott Norton

Top Ten Wrestlers Who You Wouldn't Let Your Daughter Date

By Leyland
  1. Yokozuna
  2. Jim Cornette
  3. Loch Ness
  4. Owen Hart
  5. Road Block
  6. HollyWood Hogan
  7. Eric Biscoff
  8. Joe Gomez or the Renegade (TIE)
  9. Diamond Dallas Page
  10. The Giant

Ten Worst Wrestlers Ever To Hold A Singles Title In WWF Or WCW

By Anonymous
  1. Renegade - He beat Arn Anderson for the TV title and hasn't won a match since
  2. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - How he beat Steve Austin in record time I will never know
  3. One Man Gang - Why did Eric gave him the U.S. title instead of to somebody who can actually wrestle?
  4. Bob Holly - He only had the tag team title because of the 1-2-3 Kid
  5. The Mountie - His title reign as the IC champ lasted only two days when Vince realized he made a mistake
  6. Marty Janetty - Just cause one Rocker became a singles champ doesn't mean both should
  7. Prince Iaukea - He never won a match in his career before Nitro. Why have his first win be at a title defense?
  8. Yokozuna - The worst WWF champion ever (Yes, this includes Hogan)
  9. Honky Tonk Man - Worst IC champ of all time
  10. Jeff Jarrett - There is no way he should have ever beaten Scott Hall twice for the IC title.

Ten Worst Sets Of Teeth

by Bill
  1. Dr. Isaac E. Yankem - Who else who be number one?
  2. Kamala - Minus two.
  3. "Crazy" Luke Williams of the Bushwhackers - Minus two.
  4. Teddy Long - Minus two. Now wears falsies since he is a face.
  5. Scott Hall - Minus at least two, courtesy of #6.
  6. Jerry Saggs - Minus one.
  7. Mankind - Minus one.
  8. Bam Bam Bigelow - Minus one.
  9. "Crippler" Chris Benoit - Minus one. Seemingly wears a falsie sometimes.
  10. Andre The Giant - Could have employed an orthodontist full time.

Top Ten Wrestling Chameleons

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Ed Leslie: This guy changes gimmicks more often than most people change their underwear.
    Previous Aliases: Brutus Beefcake (with Greg Valentine as the Dream Team), the Barber (and w/ Hulk Hogan as the Mega Maniacs), Brother Brutti, the Masked Man, the Butcher, the Zodiac, the Man With No Name, the Booty Man, nWo member #4 (for about thirty seconds).
  2. Buddy Lee Parker: This poor JTTS has been pummeled by every WCW athlete with the exception of Disco Inferno. My favorite Buddy Lee moment was at the second Battlebowl (check your tapes, I don't want this to become a manifesto).
    P.A.: Jack Boot, Sgt Buddy Lee Parker of the State Patrol, the Leperchan (all in one month!!!).
  3. The Slammy Award Winning Rocket Avenger King of Harts Owen "Blue Blazer" Hart, formerly of High Energy w/KoKo B. Ware and the New Foundation w/ Jim "Who" Neidhart: Try fitting that on a business card.
    P.A.: See Above
  4. Kevin Nash: I like this guy; really, I do. I just wish he would go non-kayfabe, beat the living protoplasm out of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff and take over the nWo.
    P.A.: OZ, Vinni Vegas (w/ DDP as the Vegas Connection), Master Blaster Steele, Big Daddy Cool Diesel, nWo member #2.
  5. Brian Pillman: I just hope Vince Jr. can control him better than Bischoff did.
    P.A.: Flying Brian Pillman (w/ some midcarder whose name escapes me), Hollywood Blonde #2 (w/ Steve Austin), the Loose Cannon of the 4 Horsemen, the Time Bomb, Mister Fork (ECW inside Joke), Yellow Dog.
  6. Marcus Alexander Bagwell: This guy hasn't changed gimmicks that often, he has just had a large number of different tag team partners (and the tights to match).
    P.A.: W/ Too Cold Scorpio (purple and yellow), the Patriot as Stars and Stripes (red, white and blue), Scotty Riggs as The American Males (black), nWo member #9 (black w/ nWo in white letters on his Gluteus Maximus) as the Pretty Boy Redneck, the Handsome Stranger (GWF).
  7. Bryan Adams: Jailbird! Jailbird! Jailbird! Jailbird!
    P.A.: w/Demolition as Crush (?), Kona Crush (face), Crush w/ face paint (heel), Jailbird Crush w/ the Nation of Domination (Mega-Heel).
  8. Ray Traylor: Two words: Jenny Craig.
    P.A.: Big Bubba Rodgers in suit, Big Bubba Rodgers as biker, Big Bossman (w/ Akeem the African Dream as the Twin Towers, then as a face), the Boss, the Guardian Angel, nWo member #10 1/2.
  9. Mike Rotondo: Underrated and underappreciated.
    P.A.: IRS (w/ Ted DiBiase as Money Inc. and Million Dollar Corp.), Mike Rotonda (w/ Dr. Death Steve Williams and Kevin Sullivan as the Varsity Club and w/ Barry Windham as the All-American Team) V.K./Michael Wallstreet, nWo member #11?
  10. Scott Levy: You may not recognize the name at first, but he has made appearances in all three major wrestling organizations (WCW, WWF, ECW) with three very different gimmicks.
    P.A.: Scotty Flamingo/Scotty the Body (w/ Vegas Connection), Johnny Polo (w/ Quebecers as manager), Raven (w/ Nest).
Honorable Mention:
The Doinks: Never before have so many played something so stupid for so long. The current number of people who have donned the paint stands at eight:

Top 10 Reasons Why Wrestlers Do Not Belong On Television (with the exception of wrestling programming of course) Or In Movies

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. Hulk Hogan (Surprise Surprise!) - His numerous ventures into acting are too many to mention, but can anybody tell me when he actually produced anything of quality? In all fairness, his appearance in Rocky III was pretty cool, but that was before his ego swallowed him up.
  2. Marcus "Buff" Bagwell - His movie hasn't even been released yet but the good word tells me that it certainly ain't no Forrest Gump.
  3. Zeus - Oh wait! He should be under the reasons why actors should not try wrestling.
  4. King Kong Bundy - Bundy makes his second appearance on the chart, because he was still a monster 5-count-wanting heel when he made his first appearance on "Married Wtih Children." Needless to say, he isn't exactly Sean Connery when it comes to acting. In Bundy's defense, Sean Connery isn't exactly King Kong Bundy when it comes to wrestling.
  5. Bam Bam Bigelow - Bam Bam Bigelow is just not that intimidating. Those kids in "Major Payne" should have hired Bubba Smith instead!
  6. Sgt Slaughter - Who could forget him on G.I Joe? The funny part of the whole thing was that while he was a heel in 1990-1991, USA still showed the episodes of him opening a can of whup-ass on Serpentor and Cobra Commander.
  7. Rey Misterio Jr./The Giant - And people wonder why wrestling fans get such a bad rap. Their appearance on Regis and Kathie Lee was humorous but it did not give those non-wrestling fans any insight into the sport.
  8. The Nasty Boys - We were able to get a quick glimpse of them while Walter Mattheau was watching T.V in Grumpier Old Men. Thank goodness this only lasted a few seconds.
  9. Legion of Doom - They were on Arsenio in 1991 fighting the Nasty Boys. Needless to say, the match was a fairly decent brawl but it was no Dean Malenko vs. El Ultimo Dragon.
  10. King Kong Bundy - "Married With Children", 1995. At this point, the honorary member of No MAAM was reduced to a mid-carder in the WWF. If he could not even beat the Undertaker, he surely could not have beaten a mega-ego like Bud Bundy.
[Author's Note: Wrestlers have made a few good TV/movie appearances. I remember Sting on the Vicki Lawrence show. He gave a very solid interview. Sting is obviously an educated man. Does anybody know his educational background?]

Top Ten Reasons Bobby Heenan is the Best Color Commentator on TV

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Is the number one reason that Monday Nitro is one of the best wrestling shows on the air. Notice how Monday Night Raw has suffered since Bobby left? Sure, the wrestling is the main draw, but the on-air talent play a big part as well.
  2. Met him two years ago at a Clash of Champions and he was the only WCW personality other than Ric Flair and Arn Anderson who wasn't a complete jerk to me. He posed for some pictures, signed a autograph, and seemed genuinely pleased that I was such a fan and that I knew so much about the real business of wrestling.
  3. Putting up with Steve McMichael, "Pepť", and Gene Okerlund on Nitro qualifies Bobby for sainthood.
  4. Is not afraid to look foolish if it means good ratings and giving someone else a push; is a company man, but realizes that WCW isn't the only company. Example:
    Tony S: We have a new World's Heavyweight Champion!!
    Bobby: (correcting him) We have a new WCW Heavyweight Champion.
  5. Has no "delusions of grandeur" like a certain "living legend."
  6. Is intelligent, articulate and knowledgable when it comes to wrestling (unlike Vince "Oh my, what a maneuver!" McMahon and Dusty "Mushmouth" Rhodes).
  7. Can cause a fellow commentator to break composure and crack up at the drop of a hat.
  8. Is completely honest. Has no trouble bashing both faces and heels (unlike a certain king who shall remain nameless).
  9. Any man who hates Hulk Hogan is alright in my book.
  10. Is one of the only truly INTENTIONALY funny (not like Dusty Rhodes who cracks me up because he is so terrible) and witty wrestling commentators on TV.

By Popular Demand, Top Ten Brain Quotations

by Chris J. Delanoy at University of Alberta
  1. As Piper is lead to the ring by a Bagpipe band:
    "Grown men in skirts playing vacuum cleaners."
  2. Gorilla: I can't think of any better family entertainment than the WWF.
    Brain: You can even bring the dog...that's so McGuirk has something to do during intermissions.
  3. Brain: Did you ever say hello to Tatanka?
    Gorilla: Yes.
    Brain: Did you do it properly?
    Gorilla: Yes.
    Brain: You said `Hey How Are Ya, Hey How Are Ya'?
  4. The Brain dispenses some typical advice during a match:
    "Whip him! Whip him! Whip him like a dog! Then kick him!"
  5. During a match in Texas:
    Brain: "You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo?"
    Gorilla: "Why?"
    Brain: "They only had one car."
  6. Shawn Michaels pokes Duggan in the eye:
    "That's a risky move. He's only got a 50% chance of getting the good eye."
  7. When the Undertaker walks the rope:
    Ross: "Look at that balance!"
    Brain: "I walked all four corners once."
  8. "The two things that scare me most about wrestling fans is that they're allowed to vote and allowed to reproduce."
  9. During the Savage/Elizabeth wedding:
    "The ring bearer's really a midget."
  10. Gorilla: He may have landed in his external occipital protuberance.
    Brain: Gorilla, what's with you naming all the body parts?
    Gorilla: I happen to have knowledge about it. Why don't you try it?
    (Wrestler kicks jobber in the stomach)
    Brain: There's a kick to the uterus!

Bottom 10 WCW Ploys As Of 1/26/97

by Phil S.
  1. Using a big match to get people to watch that lame Robin Hood show. I'll never forgive them for that one.
  2. Mongo McMichael and his ditsy wife, Debra. He blows scenes left and right by either waiting too long or by sheer stupidity; she's only changed the state on her beauty pageant sash at least three times now.
  3. Hacksaw Duggan. Give him a plane of his own; I don't even hate the guys in number 4 bad enough to make them listen to his "USA!" and "HO!" chants.
  4. (tie) Glacier, Joe Gomez, Alex Wright, Chavo Guerrero Jr. Would someone please load these guys into a Japanese fighter plane destined for a Kamikaze mission?
  5. Sting's "Crow 3" bit. It was nice when it started, and sliding down from the roof of the arena that one night was cool, but come on, figure out an original routine with the baseball bat, already.
  6. Public Enemy's obviously pre-broken tables. You couldn't find worse props on the set of a Hulk Hogan movie. I'm amazed these things even hold people. On Nitro one night, it didn't: Jacques Rougeau kicked the end of the table an it split in the middle, ruining the expected end of the match.
  7. The Kevin Sullivan/Chris Benoit chess angle. Okay, those fights of theirs are great to watch, but the chess references are stupid, especially since we all know neither of them knows the name of that horsey piece. Plus, what about the way the Benoit/Sullivan "pinfalls count anywhere" matches always end up in the one clean, unoccupied restroom in the building.
  8. The return of time-limit draws. You just know it's going to happen when the announcer says, "Only five minutes remaining in this contest!" Has an announcer EVER said that when it wasn't going to end in a draw?
  9. The Amazing French Canadians. Time for these guys to take a geography lesson: the French-speaking people of Quebec have been trying to secede from Canada for, oh, 100 years. They should be carrying Quebec flags with the old Nordique symbol and playing Quebec's song (if they have one).
  10. The nWo. Okay, it was cute at the start and sold T-shirts, but frankly, the whole fifteen-on-one thing's getting old. Don't their opponents have friends? These guys are showing promise of sliding higher in the list fast.
Honorable Mentions:

Ten Things that I Am Getting Tired Of

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. The Laziness of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine - This is the man who beat Tito Santana into oblivion when he dropped the IC strap. Now he stands around in the ring with no facial expression for a few minutes before completing the JOB. Instead of destroying everything that was ever good about Valentine, WCW should do the following with him: WCW should have him join up with Sting and company. Then they should have him slap the jerry curl out of Syxx before applying a 5-minute figure-four like the Hammer I remember.
  2. The nWo - Im one of those few who will actually root for the face. This gang of has-beens and jobbers is really getting on my nerves. I was somewhat interested back in July but I can only take so much of Virgil, IRS, and Scott Norton.
  3. Football players in wrestling trunks - I got a few laughs when "The Fridge" appeared at Wrestlemania II but frankly, I'm sick and tired of the likes of "Mongo" McMichael.
  4. The misuse of the IV Horsemen - What have they done lately? They are not involved in any good angles. I hate to say it but I think the Horseman are just about through.
  5. Debrah McMichael's soliloquies - A famous but unknown poet once said: "Breast implants are to be seen and not heard".
  6. Crooked referees - At least when the WWF did it with Danny Davis, it didn't last this long.
  7. Glacier - My 50 year old father turned to me a couple of Mondays ago and said "Hey, isn't that the guy from that video game". Then my wrestling-ignorant girlfriend said "Yeah, that is the guy that froze me when we played at the movie theater". The point is this: Mortal Kombat and wrestling do not mix.
  8. The continuous jobbing of the younger wrestlers - They should give guys like Chris Jericho and Alex Wright the benefit of the doubt sometimes.
  9. People 35+ ruling the sport - Most of the big names are well over 35: Flair, Anderson, Hogan, Hart, Savage, etc.
  10. The television champion constantly retaining his tittle because of a time limit draw - This crap has been going on since I started following WCW/NWA way back in 1989.

Ten Guys The NWO Should Do A Mudhole Stomp On

by Danny F.
  1. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan - He can't do anything without help
  2. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - I carry the WCW flag, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  3. The Renegade - It's The RENEGADE, what else needs to be said
  4. Dean Malenko - Let's see if he can outwrestle 7 guys at once
  5. Ric Flair - It might stop him from dancing around like a freak
  6. Jeff Jarrett - The Horsemen can't because of Debra M.
  7. "Mean" Gene Okerlund - I wonder if they call his hotline
  8. Disco Inferno - They could hurt his leg so he couldn't dance anymore. Wait, he already can't dance.
  9. "The Living Legend" Larry Zybysko - He runs his mouth way too much
  10. "Lord" Steven Regal - Somebody needs to beat him before his head explodes

Top Ten Jobbers Of All Time

by "The Horseman"
  1. Doink - I've seen this guy lose when there were five of him!
  2. Barry Horowitz - I think Vince McMahon puts it best "He lost thousands and thousands of matches before getting that one elusive win" (from SummerSlam '95) If only he wouldn't have got that one win, he could have competed with Doink for the top spot.
  3. Road Block - This guy gave up to Luger before Luger even racked him!
  4. Virgil - This is a sad story. What started out as a promising future when he beat DiBiase for the Million Dollar Belt his career has faded away, I guess he just got overconfident.
  5. VK Wallstreet - When the NWO needed a jobber they called him, what more do I need to say.
  6. Scott Norton - See #5.
  7. John Tenta - Perhaps the greatest fat jobber of all time, with the exception of Road Block of course.
  8. Disco Inferno - A jobber who can dance!
  9. Renegade - Maybe it would be different if he could sell a move.
  10. Nick Patrick - He lost to a guy with one hand! If only he would stop reffing and start jobbing he could be one of the all-time greats!

The Top Ten Most Annoying Things About Jimmy Hart

by Sam Brady
  1. Voice -- "Mean Gene!" It's like fingernails on a chalkboard!
  2. Jacket -- Would *you* want Jimmy Hart's face on your back?
  3. Megaphone -- I haven't seen an international object this frequently misused since Schwarzenegger started doing comedies.
  4. Hair -- At least Hogan wears a bandana.
  5. Laugh -- I thought it was Woody Woodpecker the first time I heard it.
  6. Goatee -- Oh, wait...I'm thinking of Jim *Neid*hart here.
  7. Legs -- Have you seen him on "Thunder In Paradise"? I didn't ask for this.
  8. Sunglasses -- Then again, have you seen him *without* them?
  9. Kevin Sullivan -- 'Nuff said.
  10. Well, maybe nine is enough. I mean, he's not all *that* bad. In fact, did you know there is One Good Thing About Jimmy Hart?
  1. He's not Jim Cornette. Thank you very much.

Top 10 Ways to Tell Wrestling is Staged

by Steven Raymond
  1. Ever notice how a match is NEVER won during a commercial break, even during live matches when we are not supposed to know what will happen?
  2. Ever notice that titles are never exchanged except during pay-per-views, or one of the Monday night shows?
  3. Yeah, like I am going to sit on the top turnbuckle, stand up with the other guy when he is about to superplex me, and jump off with him.
  4. On those suplexes where the guy doing the suplex holds the other guy in the air, why does the other guy stick straight up? I would throw my weight to one side, and land on my feet.
  5. Ever notice how the guy getting chest chopped never reacts to block it? I always react when I see some drawing a hand or fist, and never just let them do it.
  6. Some moves just don't seem like they would hurt that much, such as the Totrure Rack, STF, Regal Stretch, etc. I put my little cousins in the Totrure Rack, and they think I am giving some demeneted version of a piggyback ride.
  7. There are officials eveywhere during these matches, how do people get away with rulebreaking? No instant replay?
  8. Overdoing of angles. How many times must we watch the same thing over and over and over...? i.e. Regal holding onto the title with time limit draws, Disco Inferno forgetting his move, Benoit-Sullivan matches ending up in bathrooms, etc.
  9. Ever notice that when two or more wrestlers go at it when they are not in the ring, the cops sitting behind them make no effort to stop them? You will see them sitting back there laughing.
  10. What's the purpose of having a manager, anyway? They don't teach you how to do things, they are there to hand foreign objects to you, and they are really annoying to listen to.

The Top Ten Reasons Wrestlers Have to Job and Sell

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Believability - There is nothing more aggravating than a guy like Hulk Hogan or the Ultimate Warrior trying to get the crowd to swallow that "I'm impervious to pain" line. One of the reasons wrestling has lost so much respect over the years is because the smart fans got tired of watching people get hit with chairs and then get up and dance around the ring as if it didn't faze them at all (re: Hogan). These guys are only human, and humans feel pain. Period. Especially if they get hit with chairs.
  2. Monotony - We all know how a Undertaker/Hogan/Warrior match ends; they get beat up for a while, the heel hits his signature move and then POW! They (the face) are on their feet! They hit the heel a couple of times, then they hit their move (and no matter how badly executed, the heel sells it). 1-2-3. Yawn. Jobbing helps keep the fans interested; no matter how many times the Giant goes down at the hands of the nWo, he gets a huge pop everytime he goes out because the fans are waiting for him to have his day.
  3. Repetitiveness - Nothing, NOTHING is more boring than a "wrestler cannot be slammed" or a "wrestler is undefeated" angle. Soon, even if the wrestler is a face, you start hoping that he will lose or get slammed. Notice how much more over Mr. Perfect and Tatanka were after they started losing matches, and I personally liked Yokozuna better after he got slammed by Luger.
  4. Respect - If you don't job or sell, no one in the organization will respect you because you are not helping getting people over and thus stagnating the entire crew. Hogan, Dusty Rhodes and Antonio Inoki have very few friends in the business because their egos have prevented them from jobbing and selling like everybody else.
  5. Getting Over - Everyone has to start somewhere: Hogan, Hellwig, Runnels; they all got to where they are today because people were willing to job to get them over. Apparently, somewhere along the way they forgot that.
  6. Economics - Jobbing=Getting People Over=Renewed Fan Interest=High Tickets Sales to Wresting Events, Higher TV Ratings and Merchandise Sales=More Profit=Successful Organization=Higher Salaries=More Talent Coming In=Continued Success.
  7. Loser Complex - People love a loser; look at the huge push the 123 Kid and Barry Horowitz got after they finally won a match against a mid-carder or superstar. And as much as I hate the Disco Inferno, he is one of the most over personalities in wrestling.
  8. Ego Check - Jobbing is a good way to keep a wrestler in line. Whether you agree with his judgment or not, you have to admit that Vince McMahon forcing Hunter Hearst Helmsley to job to Aurielo "Beer Belly" Roberts was a humbling experience, and I doubt HHH will ever break character and go non-kayfabe at a live event again.
  9. Marketability - Hogan was a god when it came to merchandising in the 80's. Now, they couldn't give his shirts away in a crowded Taco Bell with no toliet paper in the restrooms. Why? His no-sell, no-job policy got tedious, and watching a bald, 40-something, steriod-withdrawaled no-talent squash guys who would tear him limb from limb in real life.
  10. The Big Picture - Shawn Michaels started out as a Jobber to the Stars; so did Kevin Nash, Ric Flair, Nick Bockwinkel AND Hulk Hogan. And look at them now. What goes around comes around; losing a match now means winning a big match later; just ask Sid Eudy. Jobbing can (and usually does) lead to something better down the road.

Top Ten Worst Potential Future Angles

by B.J.
  1. Arn Anderson jobs to Hacksaw Jim Dug... wait, that already happened.
  2. Hogan is keeping the title until a future match with Sting and/or Flair. Hogan keeps the belt after submitting to both of them.
  3. DDP keeps participating in second-rate matches and does not get a title shot.
  4. Koko B. Ware comes back to take Booker T's place in Harlem Heat.
  5. Lugar V. Hogan. In both of their careers combined, they have used exactly 3/4 of a move (the leg drop of death and the torture rack don't count). The match would consist of them running into each other, cowering in the corner and being counted out by the ref. Nice match.
  6. Bob Probert (the Chicago Blackhawks goon that was interviewed byFlair) and Kevin Greene (Carolina Panthers player) vs. anyone.
  7. Benoit & The Taskmaster fight into the third millenium.
  8. Duggan then does not give the title to Sting.
  9. Duggan runs the table on the Million Dollar Man, Bagwell, Nash and then beats Hogan for the title.
  10. A lame-o quasi-physical encounter between Woman and Debra M.

Top Ten Worst PPVs

by Kevin T.
  1. WCW Uncensored '95 - One word: Renegade
  2. nWo Souled Out - Why did nWo job to WCW on their own dawn PPV? I'm glad I didn't pay money to see this.
  3. 1995 Royal Rumble - This was the WWF's most boring PPV. The only good part waswhen Bam Bam Bigelow shoved Lawrence Taylor
  4. 1988 Survivor Series - The teams on this PPV were unreal. What the hell was Koko B. Ware doing on Hulk Hogan's team?
  5. Halloween Havoc 1995 - There is no way in hell that anybody can survive a 20-story building and come back and wrestle 20 minutes later.
  6. 1996 Starrcade - BORING!!!! In reality, The Giant could whip Luger's ass.
  7. 1993 Survivor Series - What the hell was McMahon thinking letting lower competition defend their titles on his PPV?
  8. In Your House 8 - Beware of Dog I and II - No comment!
  9. In Your House 4 - The WWF showed how fake the whole Syracuse incident was when they made Michaels forfeit the Intercontiental title in front of a worldwide audience.
  10. In Your House 9 - International Incident-BORING!!!!

Ten Worst Gimmick Wrestlers

by Joey H.
  1. Hulk Hogan: Jobbed to Yokozuna in the WWF, why continue wrestling? Besides, the guys a walking commercial.
  2. Dave Sullivan: Come on, the guy carried an rabbit!
  3. The Giant: He's not Andre's son.
  4. Sting: This Crow gimmick is the worst!
  5. Yokozuna: Fat, ugly, and has the worst wrestling finisher ever.
  6. Fake Sting: See #4.
  7. Disco Inferno: The horror, the horror.
  8. Road Block: At least he wears a shirt.
  9. "Sgt" Craig Pittman: Gets an manager and jobs worse than ever.
  10. Barry Horowitz: Horowitz jobs, Horowitz jobs.

Top 10 Funniest Things I Have Heard From The nWo

by Steve Raymond
  1. "Who put that table there anyways?"
    Kevin Nash when he and Scott Hall were in the commentating booth reviewing the tape of the previous week when Diamond Dallas Page gave Hall the Diamond Cutter after looking like he was joining the nWo. Nash chased DDP, and got thrown over the top rope, and landed on a table, and threw it against a rail.
  2. "You know, that mean's he's lost it 13 times, too."
    Ted DiBiase when Mean Gene Okerlund came out introducing the "13-time World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair".
  3. "The nWo is the best wrestling organization today, WCW is 2nd, those Japanese are 3rd, and ECW is 4th."
    Scott Hall when the nWo was in the booth taking over a Nitro.
  4. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, there are still some rules we must follow, not a lot, but there are still some."
    Eric Bischoff when trying to cover Scott Hall's mistake on #3, avoiding possible lawsuit.
  5. "I guess this is where I go help out."
    Kevin Nash, when while in the booth, Hogan was in the ring showing off, and the Giant came after him.
  6. "What's with this camera angle, anyways?"
    Scott Hall when the nWo took over the booth during a Regal/Benoit match, and Regal got busted open hardway on the forehead real bad, and the camera was trying to hide it as much as possible by zooming out, and whenever possible, avoiding his face.
  7. "Ooooooooooooooooooooo!"
    Scott Hall nearly everyday, but the one that really sticks in my mind is the one at the Clash of the Champions, where he was facing Luger, and was mocking his flexing.
  8. "So you're the 'Living Legend'? I thought you'd be bigger."
    Scott Hall when he came to ringside on the first hour of a Nitro, going after Larry Zbyszko.
  9. "Don't mess with Zbyszko, he IS the 'Living Legend' you know."
    Scott Hall a week after saying #8 while in the booth.
  10. "Last week you were talking about your uncle telling you the two most important things in life were Alabama football, and those guys who dip Skoal and run around and around a racetrack real fast."
    Scott Hall when introducing Kyle Petty's nWo Busch Grand National NASCAR.
Honorable Mentions:

Top 10 Reasons Pro Wrestling Is Better Than NASCAR

by Steve M.
  1. Sycho Sid is a much cooler nickname than Dale "The Old Fart" Earnhardt.
  2. Sunny. 'Nuff said.
  3. Wrestlers don't have to wear sponsors' names on their tights.
  4. Dale Earnhardt has only 7 championships. Jerry Lawler wins the USWA title every other week.
  5. Arn Anderson can beat Kyle Petty in an interview with one lip tied behind his back.
  6. The Honky Tonk Man can sing, dance, wrestle and play guitar. All Bill Elliott does is drive a car.
  7. Lex Luger looks better in tights than Rusty Wallace.
  8. Ricky Rudd doesn't wear faicepaint, but he really should.
  9. Ric Flair is a limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. Lake Speed has the charisma of a toaster oven.
  10. Wrestlers make their pitstops BEFORE they get to the ring.

Top Ten WWF/WCW Crossover Matches I'd Like To See

by John C. at Jersey City State College
  1. Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan
    I'd pay good money to see Shawn destroy Terry. He would no-sell all of Terry's moves and kick the punk in his aging face.
  2. Shawn Michaels vs. Roddy Piper
    This could rival the Bret Hart/Piper match from a few years back.
  3. Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage
    Two of the best all-around wrestlers in the sport. This would be one for the ages.
  4. "Sycho" Sid vs. The Giant
    This should be in a steel cage so they could be trapped and would have nowhere to go while they beat each other senseless.
  5. Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit
    ECW flashback.
  6. Mankind vs. Kevin Sullivan
    Former tag champs in a falls-count-anywhere match.
  7. Ahmed Johnson vs. Lex Luger
    This should start with a posing contest.
  8. Dean Malenko vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
    Malenko would take that dork apart.
  9. Sting vs. Undertaker
    This would be scary and different
  10. Fake Razor Ramon and Diesel and Jesse James vs. Jeff Jarrett and the Outsiders

Top Ten Reasons Why nWo Souled Out Was The Worst Pay Per View In The History Of Wrestling

(yes, I'm including Starrcade 94)

by Corey Washington at Augusta State University
  1. How many times must we see the Giant get punked? Hogan was thrashing him a year ago and now he needs help from his cronies. We saw this on Monday nitro 2 or 3 times already. WCW has taken a major step backwards. I can hear Vince McMahon saying checkmate.
  2. I can't believe the entire nWo let Steve "Bongo" McMichael come to the ring and hit an nWo member and threaten Nick Patrick. He should have gotten the biggest mudhole stomping of the night. If they jumped the Giant they could have easily demolished Bongo.
  3. That beauty pageant sucked! Who was the pervert asking the questions? Probably E.B.'s cousin. Nobody cared! I wanted to see wrestling. Unfortunately, the wrestling sucked, too.
  4. The band sucked big time. Once again this is wrestling not MTV. They tried that already.
  5. Sting's Army didn't show up. The presence of WCW's elite was sorely missed. Everybody was expecting something big. The stage set up had to be one of the most expensive of all time. If Ted Turner sees how sucky this ppv was, E.B. might be canned.
  6. No new nWo members showed up. Where was this Chris Chavis (Tatanka), Mr. Perfect, Ultimate Warrior? I think it's safe to say that if you want to see hot wrestling action just stick to Nitro. It's PPV quality. But if you buy the PPV, prepare to get jacked for your dough.
  7. Nick Patrick barely got hit and he's out for 3 minutes. I'm tired of this same gimmick being used. I guess they take us for extreme idiots. Since when can anybody run out from the audience and count a pinfall. Did anyone see the blue band around Randy Anderson's wrist? This signifies that he can be let backstage. What's a WCW ref doing being allowed backstage.
  8. The nWo had a complete lack of control at their own PPV. I wanted to burn my nWo shirt. Who was the moron that booked this? When you're selling NWO shirts like hot cakes you don't job everybody or make them look bad.
  9. The Dallas Cowboys at ringside? Only the NWO would want to be associated with these losers. Once again, nobody cared.
  10. I was watching at a sports bar and you wouldn't believe the silence that permeated the whole room. Chants of "We want Flair" were the only thing that broke the monotony of the whole event. Every body was in total shock as to how much this PPV sucked.

Jeremy's Top Ten Reasons To Watch Professional Wrestling

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. The Harlem Heat
    Pluses: Perhaps the best martial artists not from Asia or an Island in the South Pacific. Will job the tag titles to make the division more intriguing (Public Enemy, American Males, etc.) Best theme music out there.
    Minuses: Often let their managers get too involved in their business.
  2. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
    Pluses: The funniest and most intellectual commentator this side of Jesse"The Body" Ventura. I love the way he makes fun of Southerners. Being a resident Oklahoman, I can really appreciate his comments on the Ham-n-Eggers.
    Minuses: Jobbed to the Red Rooster at Wrestlemania V.
  3. Jerry "The King" Lawler
    Pluses: At house shows, he will really piss the crowd off. Back in September, the WWF came to Oklahoma City. Lawler bad-mouthed the University of Oklahoma's football team after a disgraceful loss to The University of Tulsa. He drew tremendous heat.
    Minuses: Jobbed to Aldo Montoya.
  4. Mini-Wrestlers
    Pluses: The most energetic and exciting part of any card. When these guys come on it would be a good time to put the VCR on record because you will miss a number of things that you probably wouldn't want to.
    Minuses: Their matches are often too short (no pun intended).
  5. Lord Steven Regal
    Pluses: This man will raise his hand to hit any overzealous fan sitting along the aisle when he comes to the ring.
    Minuses: Always looks like he smells a sewage plant nearby. Remember "The fox smells his own hole first"!
  6. The women of pro-wrestling
    Pluses: Sunny, Sable, and Kimberly Page
    Minuses: Sister Sherri, Woman, and Bull Nakano
  7. Tito Santana
    Pluses: The man would take any tag-team partner(s) under his wing. He has tagged with The Junk Yard Dog, British Bulldogs, and Koko B. Ware just to name a few. One of the few former football players who really made a smooth transition into pro-wrestling. Excellent worker.
    Minuses: Actually joined the AWF.
  8. The cruiserweight division in WCW
    Pluses: Superb display of acrobatic and athletic prowess. Also a good time to set the VCR on record.
    Minuses: Not enough cruiserweight tag matches. They should have an 8 team, double elimination tag tournament.
  9. Diamond Dallas Page
    Pluses: Took it to the nWo before the nWo took it to him. The man is really married to The Diamond Doll.
    Minuses: Got dumped for Prince (Johnny B. Badd).
  10. Arn Anderson/Ric Flair
    Pluses: Will do anything to improve the status of wrestling. The ideal team players. These two are definite lifers. They are also the examples that younger wrestlers should follow.
    Minuses: Never holding the tag belts together. If Flair could wrestle again, I would love to see this happen.

10 Worst Outfits In The WCW

by Jeremy L.
  1. Jushin "Thunder" Liger -- it's Ultraman!!!
  2. Ciclope -- how does he see through that mask?
  3. J.L. -- Power Ranger wanna-be
  4. Ultimate Dragon -- more like the Creature from the Black Lagoon
  5. Super Calo -- a mummy in grunge original
  6. La Parka -- is he supposed to look intimidating?
  7. Psychosis -- is that his real hair?
  8. Rey Mysterio, Jr. (blue) -- it's Spider-Man!!!
  9. Juventud Guerrera -- see # 6
  10. Kevin Nash (red Outsiders) -- put make-up on and he's the stilt man

Top Ten Things I Keep Hoping Will Happen On Nitro

by Brad P.
  1. Syxx grabs himself in the crotch once too often and injures himself. This causes him to leave the WCW in shame and go back to the WWF where the gimmick he is given is "The Kid With The Really High Voice".
  2. nWo turns on Hogan, beats the living snot out of him.
  3. Ric Flair stops having dancing fits, beats people up.
  4. Arn DDTs any of the following people: Mongo, Mrs. Mongo, Hacksaw, Jarrett, any NWO member, Bischoff, Robin Hood, Little John (Sorry, nix the last two, bad ratings ploy flashback)
  5. Sting finally pledges his ECW!!! Brings in his two new friends: Taz and the Sandman!!!
  6. Lex racks a big fat jobber (Lord knows we can't get sick of that) ;)
  7. The Woman/Sullivan/Benoit angle comes to an end when Woman tells them both she really in love with Dusty Rhodes. The two of them leave wrestling for good to raise goats in Canada.
  8. All members of Teddy Long's stable are banned from wrestling for life.
  9. A "Jarrett Sucks" chant starts. Oh, yeah, that's right, it's already happened.
  10. Three words: "No More Glacier"!!!

Top Most Memorable Quotes

by Kevin T.
  1. "Oh my God, it's Brother Bruti!" Tony Schiavone at Halloween Havoc, 1994
  2. "Obviously, something is going on and I don't know what" Lex Luger at Halloween Havoc, 1995 before selling out Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage
  3. "You fans can stick it, brother!" Hulk Hogan at Bash at the Beach, 1996
  4. "Steve Austin, Stone Cold...We'll see who kicks who's ass at Madison Square Garden" Bret Hart on Monday Night RAW
  5. "Who do you got, Lawrence Taylor?" Ric Flair at Slamboree, 1996 while confronting Steve McMichael
  6. "Hulkamania will live forever" Hulk Hogan
  7. "Lex Luger has indeed sold out to Ted DiBiase" Tatanka on the Heartbreak Hotel in July, 1994
  8. "It was a setup. It's not Lex Luger who sold out, it's Tatanka who sold out" Vince McMahon at Summerslam, 1994
  9. "What in the hell is going on here?" Dusty Rhodes at Great American Bash, 1996 when McMichael joined the Horsemen and at Bash at the Beach, 1996 after Hulk Hogan attacked Randy Savage
  10. "Bulls***, Bulls***, Bulls***" The fans at WrestleMania X after Mr. Perfect screwed Lex Luger out of the WWF World Title

Top Ten Things I Want To See In Wrestling

by Russell T. at William Penn College
  1. Ted Turner sneak up behind Hogan when Hogan's showing the Pythons and hit him with a table.
  2. Vince McMahon crash Nitro and smack Eric around.
  3. Woman vs Kevin Sullivan -- Woman dominates the whole match with impressive moves and wins with Sting's inverted DDT.
  4. Hogan rip one on Live TV after eating a bunch of burritos and the mic catches it.
  5. Mongo hitting himself with the briefcase.
  6. Jeff Jarret slipping and falling while trying to do the Flair Strut and then gets pinned by a jobber.
  7. Arn Anderson taking a beer from someone in the crowd while trying to work out Horsemen problems and drinking it.
  8. Ric Flair beating the bejezus out of Jarrett and Hogan at the same time and pinning them both at the same time.
  9. Rocco Rock poking Johnny Grunge in the eye while they're trying to dance.
  10. Hall/Nash beating up a hotdog vendor cause he doesn't sell soda and then finding out that bendor was Ted Turner, Jr.

Top Ten People I Don't Want To See Back In Mainstream Wrestling

by Corey Washington at Augusta State University
  1. Evad/Dave Sullivan: Would you claim him as your brother? He was the epitome of that which sucked in WCW. If you don't believe me see Starrcade 94.
  2. Dean/Shane Douglas: I guess he flunked out of the WWF. He didn't make the grade.
  3. Bob Backlund: He's okay as an annoying manager, but every time I saw him wrestle I just wanted to know one thing: Where's Aunt Bea?
  4. Excluding Bret and Owen, any of the Hart family: That fiasco at the Survivor Series was the most boring wrestling match I have ever seen. Do you still wonder why they don't show amatuer wrestling on TV much?
  5. The Gunn Brothers: Are they still in the WWF? I hate to be harsh but I was hoping that they both would have done a stretcher job on Raw. Note of Interest: If Billy Gunn was so hot for Sunny, his wife should have done a run in and squashed him, then he would have done a legitimate strecher job.
  6. The Nation of Regurgitation: I'm painfully waiting for this angle to go away. I'm black and even I'm offended.
  7. Larry Zbyszko: Please for that which controls WCW, don't let him wrestle on TV, only house shows in the Midwest. Although I might want to see The nWo punk him like they did Giant, Piper, and the Macho Man.
  8. Any Old Fart with a Beer Belly: (see #1,#3, and #7) Also check out Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, and Bastion Booger.
  9. Kevin Sullivan: Does any one out there believe that Kevin Sullivan still squashes guys? I mean he is the booker in WCW. Talk about misuse of power. That Devil gimmick is the most tasteless of all gimmicks.
  10. Jake "The Snake" Roberts: He's just too nice. His DDT used to be the prototype for all DDT's. (Sorry If I offended any Double A fans, but when you thought DDT in the 80's you thought Jake the Snake.)

Top Ten Wrestling Diatribes/Lines of All Time

by Chris J. Delanoy at University of Alberta
  1. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan's all-time greatest: "Sometimes I amaze even myself. I feel like I have TWO brilliant minds."
  2. Jesse "The Body" Ventura's all-time greatest: "Win if you can. Lose if you must. But ALWAYS cheat."
  3. Brain: "I once had a guy give up during instruction."
  4. No list would be complete without a jibe at Duggan:
    Schiavone: Well, Duggan is at a disadvantage in this type of match.
    Brain: He's at a disadvantage when he wakes up.
  5. Brain: "We'll see some Greco-Roman knuckle sandwhiches in this match."
  6. During the Bret Hart/Yokozuna match at Wrestlemania IX:
    Crowd: USA! USA! USA!
    Macho: No, they're saying USA is what they're saying.
    Brain: See how bright they are? One guy's from Canada and the other guy's from Japan.
  7. Hulk Hogan's famous confusion of `hanging' and `banging': "I've hung, and I've bung..."
  8. Brain: You don't have to yell at me. I'm not blind!
  9. During a plug for the WWF's 1-900 hotline:
    Gorilla: Kids, ask your parent's permission before calling.
    Brain: And if they don't give you permission, just take a baseball bat, sneak up behind them, and BAM!
  10. During the Midget match at Wrestlemania III:
    Ventura: I'm hoping to see Bundy put the big kabosh on one of these little guys.
    Gorilla: Oh, come on.
    Uecker: You're kidding me.
    Gorilla: What a sadist.
    Ventura: They'll have to bring Aunt Jemima's spatula out for them.

The Top Ten Stars Or Mid-Carders Who Should Be Jobbing

by Corey Washington at Augusta State University
  1. Jerry "The Burger King" Lawler: This guy is a joke personified!
  2. Ultimate Warrior: I don't see much difference between him and Renegade.
  3. Doink: I wanted to see him in a squash match so bad!
  4. Rocky Maivia: The Brooklyn Brawler has more technical expertise than he does.
  5. The Red Rooster: Wait a minute, he is a jobber. Sorry, I forgot!
  6. Hillbilly Jim: Hogan clone with the big boot to the face. Couldn't he get his own finisher?
  7. Big John Studd: Man, was he slow or what?! I never saw he win a match or hold a title. I guess the Yeti/Big Ron Studd is following in his mentor's footsteps.
  8. Ivan Putski: His muscles got him over, other than that he sucked!
  9. Terry Garvin: He just looked like he couldn't fight. At the end of his career, he had a beer belly.
  10. Lord Steven Regal: He has good mat skills and wrestling knowledge, but without the Belfast Bruiser he's painful to watch. I cut my VCR off whenever he wrestles.

Top Ten Wrestling Holds Or Manuevers That Just Don't Cut It Any More

by Corey Washington at Augusta State University
  1. The Pulled Punch To The Head: The Hulkster has made this famous!
  2. The Sleeper Hold: It really works, but you can tell it's fake when it works too fast (i.e. Piper vs. Hogan at Starrcade). Who was the last person (besides Hogan) to fall asleep and lose a non-squash as a result of a sleeper? Think about it!
  3. Tombstone Piledriver: Most times the victim's head never touches the mat. It looks good at the arena, but it sucks on TV.
  4. Atomic Knee Drop: It may hurt a little, but heels sell this move way too much!
  5. The Claw: Thank goodness nobody uses this move any more!
  6. The Figure-Four Leg Lock: If you've ever been in this move you know that it really hurts, but wrestlers fail to apply intense pressure on their opponent, so they just reverse it. What a waste of a move.
  7. The Roddy Piper One Minute Delayed Eye Poke: Are these wrestlers really that slow? Didn't they watch the Three Stooges?
  8. A Choke Slam on a wrestler over four hundred lbs.: You get the guy one centimeter in the air and he's supposed to be hurt when he hits the mat. Yet when he gets bodyslammed he's not that hurt. P.S. : The 400+ lb. wrestler jumps one cm. in the air.
  9. A Missed Dropkick: Don't you still have to hit the mat when you connect with a dropkick? Why does it hurt so much when you miss? Okay, maybe you have a bruised ego, but that's it.
  10. 90% of Glacier's Moves: I'm really being nice about the percentage. I saw him in person twice and I must say for a live show Nitro does a good job filtering out the boos. When he misses his kicks, as a punishment his opponents shouldn't fall down. They should just stand there and laugh at him.

So now that Wallstreet and Norton are in the "not so exclusive" nWo, here is the next ten

by Brad P.
  1. Doink "you just can't keep a good clown down"
  2. Fatu "the Samoan Headshrinker making a difference in Iran"
  3. Razor Ramon II and Diesel II
  4. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
  5. Lord Alfred Hayes
  6. The Yeti (what the hell was that any way!?!?!)
  7. Syxx (oh, I forgot he's already in!!!)
  8. Disco Inferno (maybe he can teach Hulk Hogan to dance, Lord knows Hogan can't act)
  9. The Bushwhackers
  10. Jim "Juice" Powers

Top Ten Wrestlers That Should Have Never Been Allowed Near a Pay Per View (With the exception of battle royals)

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. Hulk Hogan - For years wrestling fans have shelled out $30 to see the same Hogan main event every time. Did anyone really think he would job to Sgt. Slaughter at Wrestlemania VII? The whole fiasco with Yokozuna at Wrestlemania IX was pathetic. Bret Hart loses in a screw-job. Fine. No problem. But, of course, Chump Hogan comes to reclaim the title in 30 seconds. If I were Bret Hart I would be pissed-off at Vince forever for having to be involved in that nonsense.
  2. Col Mustafa - I have no problem with the Iron Sheik. In fact, I think he rules. But, I am talking about Col. Mustafa. The Iron Sheik is from Iran so how could he pretend to be an officer for Iran's worst enemy?
  3. General Adnan - First of all, the Gulf War was over 6 months before his appearance at Summerslam 91. 2) He is a manager for crying out loud! 3) I guess this match was designed for the Immortal Slime (Hulk Hogan) and the Ultimate Puke (Warrior) to put the final nail in the coffin of the Iraqis and the Triangle of Terror.
  4. Special Delivery Jones - We only had to see him getting squashed by Bundy for 9 seconds, but back in those days, jobbers belonged on Superstars and Wrestling Challenge and not on PPV.
  5. The Orient Express - Their match with Duggan/Volkoff was a complete waste of time and people's hard earned money.
  6. Corporal Kirschner - The flag match with Volkoff was a joke.
  7. Boris Zukhov - I would rather have seen Nikolai Volkoff lose to the Hart Foundation by himself in 10 seconds at Wrestlemania VI.
  8. Skinner - He fought Bret Hart in 1991 at a pay per view titled: "Tuesday in Texas". What a waste of $14.
  9. Sam Houston
  10. Barry Horowitz - I don't think that he even belongs on Raw, let alone Summerslam.

Top 10 Worst Wrestling Nicknames

by Jeff F. from Salisbury, NC
  1. The Colossal Kongs - Awesome and King. One looked like Marge Schott and the other looked like Schotzie.
  2. Mr. J.L. - J.L. must stand for jobber lust.
  3. Scott "Flash" Norton - I've seen more flash from a penlight.
  4. 911 - This 1994 Rookie of the Year's number has been disconnected.
  5. Hakushi - Gesundheit!
  6. Haku - See #5
  7. The Blue Blazer - He couldn't work at Century 21, they wear yellow ones!
  8. The Red Rooster - Terry Taylor looked like Wilma Flintstone.
  9. Mr. Wrestling - Boy, how original can you get?
  10. Battle Cat - Where's He-Man and Skeletor?

Ten Most Pointless and Meaningless Feuds of the Last Five Years (Give or Take a Year)

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. TIE - Any feud involving "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - We have had to sit through this nonsense for damn near ten years now. From Hacksaw vs. Bad News Brown in 1989 to Duggan vs. Porkozuna in 1993 to Hacksaw's nauseating fueds with Big Bubba, M. Wallstreet, and The Blue Bloods during his WCW days, he has been nothing more than a buffoon. His USA chants are annoying and offensive, especially against Wallstreet who hails from Syracuse, New York, if I'm not mistaken. And lets not forget his pathetic arsenal of moves: a few clotheslines, a taped fist to the head (why does tape hurt so bad?) and then maybe another clothesline. Wow!!
  2. The Red Rooster vs. The Brooklyn Brawler - Boy!!! This feud basically sucked. Dragging the immortal Bobby "The Brain" Heenan into it was uncalled for and the fact that Steve Lombardi was actually involved in any type of feud also make me wonder what Vince was thinking.
  3. Harvey Wippleman vs. The Fink - Okay, this was one of those funny little feuds and I actually liked it at first. But, seeing The Fink with no shirt on made all of those fuzzy memories disappear in a hurry.
  4. Nikolai Volkoff vs. Boris Zukhov - Possibly the worst feud generated from a tag team split in the history of professional wrestling this side of Fire and Ice. The split of the Rockers, Strike Force, The Dream Team, and even the Smoking Gunns generated much better singles matches.
  5. Yokozuna vs. Vader - Basically your run of the mill feud with the major heel turning face to job to the Federation's new monster. YAWN!!
  6. Rad Radford vs. Skip - Give me a break
  7. Barry Horowitz vs Skip - See #6
  8. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Bastion Booger - Two big fat guys, only one having power and agility (Bigelow), doing nothing but making the ring setup crew sweat.
  9. Big Bubba vs. John Tenta - Two big fat guys with neither power nor agility filling up a useless 15-20 minutes on pay per view.
  10. Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation - Basically, this one would not be so bad. But, it lasted from Summerslam 1994 to Summerslam 1995 and that is just way too long.

Top Ten Events That Almost Always Happen In Matches

(This is a list of tricks used by the wrestlers and the bookers to make a match more interesting)
by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. The Desperation Tag: A wrestler (almost always a face) is getting destroyed by an opponent(s). Despite numerous attempts, the beaten man cannot make a tag, mainly because a) the referee doesn't "see" the tag, or b) the referee is so busy keeping the beaten man's partner out the ring that he cannot "see" the doubleteaming by the heels. Suddenly, usually the result of a missed move by the opponent, the beaten man makes the all-important "desperation" tag. Of course, the "fresh man" comes in and cleans house. (Note: Despite the fact that the beaten wrestler is almost too weak to make the tag, he always seems to have enough energy to climb back into the ring and help his partner after only a couple seconds of rest.)
  2. The No-Sell: Although this particular phenomenon is usually associated with Hulk Hogan, the Undertaker and the Ultimate Warrior, other wrestlers have used this device as well. Some examples: Sting no-selling Ric Flair's suplex or reverse knife edges; two big men (like the British Bulldog and Vader) trying unsuccessfully to knock each other off their feet.
  3. The Sign: This particular device has fallen from popular use in recent years; it is simply something a wrestler does to signal that he is about to his signature move. Some wrestlers like Kevin Nash and Jeff Jarrett still use the sign, but most wrestlers avoid it.
  4. The Comeback: This is similar to the Desperation Tag, but involves a one-on-one match with one wrestler (a heel) having the advantage over another wrestler (a face) until the face makes his "comeback" and goes on to (usually) win the match. The most "famous comebacker" is Hulk Hogan, and almost all face wrestlers have used this device at one time or another.
  5. Interference: The most ridiculous of all the devices, this one involves a heel manager either a) distracting the referee with the heel does some dirtywork (and sometimes handing them a international object) or b) getting physically involved in the match. The best interferer in the business was (in my opinion) Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, since no one before or since has come close to matching his techinique.
  6. Trashtalk: This is usually the best part of wrestling or the worst. This involves a wrestler talking about (in a interview) a opponent or upcoming match or event and how he is going to win, destroy his opponent and win or go after a title. The success of this device hinges on execution. Unfortunately, a good wrestler is not always a good trashtalker or an interviewee. Hulk Hogan, for all of his many, many, many, many faults, is probably one of the most charismatic trashtalkers in the business. Another good trashtalker is Arn Anderson, who usually takes the quiet, serious approach to interviewing.
  7. The Internal Struggle: Rich vs. poor, urban vs. rural, black vs. white, good vs. evil; we have seen all of these scenarios enacted in the wrestling ring. Although this device tends to be one-sided (the rich or smart wrestler is almost always the bad guy), it was the basis for the early success of the WWF and Hulk Hogan.
  8. Looks: Rarely is a good-looking wrestler a heel (Shawn Michaels was an early exception to this rule). Faces are called faces for that reason; they look like (usually) the clean-cut, all-American Boy next door, and the promoters market them as such. This gimmick can get tired fast, so the promoters have to give these faces a quick push before they lose their momentum. Along that same line, heels are almost always fat, "ugly" (by the world's status) or freaks of nature (giants, the walking dead, etc.)
  9. The Piper Syndrome: We've seen it all before, a wrestler (usually some sort of superstar, former champ or legend) goes away for awhile, comes back the organization with no intention to wrestle again (usually becomming a commentator on one of the house shows) and almost immediately gets into a feud with another wrestler, forcing him to come out of retirement and fight one last time. This can last for one match, or can (and usually does) lead to the wrestler going after and winning some sort of heavyweight title (usually world). Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage and of course Roddy Piper are some of the wrestlers who have done this. (Editor's Note: Larry Zbyszko is about to do this.)
  10. The Reign of Terror: Either one wrestler or a group of wrestlers (usually the latter) is causing trouble in a organization, and no one sees to be able to stop him or them. Then here comes a wrestler (either a newcomer or an established returning superstar) who steps up to the plate and one by one vanquishes all the foes (sometimes he invites some mid-cards or has-beens to help him out). The wrestler gets a huge push and is declared the new "leader" of the organization and usually becomes the champion of the world. The nWo is an example of a reign of terror which will end as soon as Bischoff finds a suitable wrestler to be the "leader."

The Top Ten Fattest (not heaviest, but fattest) Wrestlers

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. Adorable Adrian Adonis - His 300 pounds of pure fat is bad enough but those pink tights were 200 times worse
  2. Yokozuna (Porkozuna)
  3. Tom Stone - Another famous jobber ala "Iron" Mike Sharpe in the 1980's
  4. Brian Knobbs/Jerry Saggs/Johnny Grunge/Rocco Rock - Four-way tie
  5. Mankind/Cactus Jack Manson
  6. "Playboy" Buddy Rose
  7. Rusty Brooks
  8. Jake "The Snake" Roberts (the 1996 version)
  9. Nikolai Volkoff
  10. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
Honorable Mention: Fatu - The Arabian Headshrinker making a difference

The Top Ten Most Racist Gimmicks In Wrestling

by Jeremy Mason at University of Oklahoma
  1. The Doctor of Style (Slickster) - The hair, the clothes, and lets not forget the Jive Soul Bro theme song
  2. Reverend Slick - Every good African-American is a preacher
  3. Death Row - A big fat jobber that had a short stint in W.C.W about five years ago - of course he wore a prisoner's outfit
  4. Bad News Brown -The Harlem Ghetto Blaster
  5. Kamala - the African savage
  6. Virgil - the big black bodyguard that never cracks a smile
  7. Sapphire - giving The American Dream Dusty Rhodes some soul
  8. Johnny B. Badd - Little Richard?
  9. The Junkyard Dog - we all remember that pimp-daddy music
  10. Pappa Shango - a voodoo man
Editor's Note: These are specific gimmicks which supercede the all-encompassing "All black people have very hard heads rule". Wrestling did away with this long-standing racist gimmick around four or five years ago. And, of course, don't ever forget Akeem, the African Dream.

The Top Ten Worst Ideas Vince McMahon, Jr. Ever Had

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. The Super Bowl of Wrestling on Monday Night Raw, complete with penalty flags.
  2. Flash Funk: between this fool, Ahmed "Mush Mouth" Johnson, Marc "Tricked by Mr. Perfect" Mero, Farooq "Louis Farrakhan is looking for you and he ain't happy" Assad, Vince has cornered the market on racial stereotypes: a pimp, an ex-football player from the ghetto with an extremely hard head, a pretty boy (shades of Prince) and a ticked-off violent vigiliante . Next, the tag team duo of Amos and Andy, with the Kingfish as their manager!
  3. In Your House: an obvious attempt to copy WCW's Clash of the Champions, but on pay-per-view. Vince must need another Mercedes.
  4. Doink. A wrestling clown. Okay.
  5. The Genius. Vince, you should be ashamed.
  6. Adrian Adoins. Ditto
  7. Golddust. Three strikes and you're out, Vince (so to speak).
  8. Roddy Piper's "Comebacks": Have you noticed that Piper has had "one more fight left in him" since Wrestlemania III? Come on, Vince, give us a little more credit than that.
  9. Sgt. Slaughter: First a bad guy, then a good guy, then a REALLY bad guy, then a good guy, then HEAD OF SECURITY??!!?? Even a mark would have a hard time swallowing THAT one.
  10. Hulk Hogan versus the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VI: never, never, never, NEVER have two fan-favorites in a headline match, Vince, because everyone gets screwed. And just when I thought you have learned your lesson the first time, you go and have Bret Hart versus Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania XII. You just don't get it, do you Vince?

Top Ten Worst Ideas Eric Bischoff Ever Had

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Nick Bockwinkel as WCW Comissioner. That lasted about three seconds.
  2. WCW Uncensored. Keep trying, Eric.
  3. Hulk Hogan on Baywatch. The Aging No Talent Object meets The Unexplainably Popular Yet Insipid Force.
  4. Having WCW officials throw trash at Hogan. It's messy, unnecessary, and dangerous. Besides, it is obivious that Hogan has more fans now that he did as a face, which is going to make it all the more difficult for Eric to get out of this corner he has painted himself into (referring of course to the nWo angle).
  5. Bringing back ALL of Hogan's old (and I do mean OLD) enemies from the WWF to "fight" him. Deja vu, huh Eric? Tell me, did it take you long to decide that exhuming Andre the Giant's corspe and placing him in a match against Hogan at Halloween Havoc was probably a bad idea?
  6. Telling us that Paul Wight was Andre the Giant's son. Yeah, right. And while we're at it, we all know that Woman and Kevin Sullivan are married, and so are Diamond Dallas Page and The Diamond Doll, so drop the act already!
  7. Disco Inferno. Please make the hurting stop.
  8. Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff consulting the Psychic Friends Network because he keeps losing his matches. Cross-promotion doesn't always work.
  9. Pretending that Paul Wight had fallen to his death at Halloween Havoc. It was in VERY bad taste, and I am disappointed to see that almost no one else in the wrestling world has called Eric out on this laspe of judgment.
  10. Colonel Rob Parker. I'd prefer Jim Cornette to this sputtering idiot. Please, drop this character now, or at least get him to stop wearing that French Legionnaire's uniform. Please.

Top Ten Wrestlers/Managers/Announcers I'd Hate To Find In My Bathroom

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Yokozuna
  2. The Godwinns
  3. Dusty Rhodes
  4. Bertha Faye
  5. The Roadblock
  6. Jim Cornette
  7. Vader
  8. Bastion Booger
  9. Gene Okerlund
  10. The Loch Ness Monster

Top Ten Wrestlers I'd Hate To Owe Money To

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Vader
  2. Psycho Sid
  3. The Giant
  4. Mankind
  5. Randy "Macho Man" Savage
  6. "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson
  7. "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes
  8. Sherri Martel
  9. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
  10. Mr. Hughes

Top Ten Worst Wrestling Finishers

by Timothy Joyce at Northern Illinois University
  1. Hulk Hogan's Triple Threat of Doom (three pulled punches to the top of the head, an oft-missed boot to the face {or the air surrounding it}, and a lame knee-bent leg drop)
  2. Mankind's Mandible Claw: Please Vince, I just ate!!!!
  3. Earthquake's/Avalanche's/Shark's/John Tenta's Butt Squash: Notice how he never actually sits down on the chest of the victim, but stops short and holds himself up on his hands.
  4. Disco Inferno's...uh...I forgot, he hasn't won a match yet!!!
  5. Bastion Booger Crouch Squash: I think Bobby "the Brain" Heenan summed it up best when he said "Here comes a trip to the batcave!"
  6. The Honky Tonk Man's Shake, Rattle, and Roll: What more can I say, although he was a pretty good IC champ.
  7. The Taskmaster/Gamesmaster/Coach/Kevin Sullivan's Tree of Woe and Chest stomp: Has anyone else noticed that it takes him about five minutes just to set this move up?!!?
  8. Lex Luger (during his WWF tenure) and his Loaded Steel-plated Left Arm That Was Injured In Motorcycle Accident Six Years Ago (tm): Or maybe it was his right? You never could tell, because Lex sometimes used his other arm to knock opponents out. Hmmm....
  9. Hacksaw Jim Duggan's Running Clothesline in The Corner: JUST MOVE OUT THE WAY, PEOPLE!!! Just take a step to your left, and voila!!! I know, I know, spoken like a true mark.
  10. Any move used by Ed Leslie/The Barber/Brutus Beefcake/Brother Bruti/The Guy In The Mask Who Attacked Hulk Hogan After Curt Henning Changed His Mind And Went Back To The WWF/The Butcher/The Man With No Name/Zodiac/The Booty Man: The High-Knee (Please!), The Sleeper That Could Have Been Applied Better By A Six Year Old; you name it, it sucked

Top Ten Wrestlers I'd Want With Me If I Was Ever In A Bar Fight

by Bill
  1. Kevin Nash
  2. "Crippler" Chris Benoit
  3. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
  4. "Lord" Steven Regal
  5. "Big" Ron Studd
  6. "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson
  7. Randy "Macho Man" Savage
  8. "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton
  9. Road Warrior Hawk
  10. Road Warrior Animal

Ten Most Likely (Active) Wrestlers To Test Positive For Steroid Use

by Bill
  1. Jim Powers
  2. Davey Boy Smith
  3. Vince McMahon, Jr.
  4. "Ed Wood" Hulk Hogan
  5. Scott Steiner
  6. Psycho Sid
  7. The Warlord
  8. Maxx Muscle
  9. "The Total Package" Lex Luger
  10. Road Warrior Animal

Worst Ten Angles Of All Time

by Bill
  1. The Renegade, The Man Who Will Bring Hulkamania Into The 21st Century!
  2. Robocop, Sting's Guardian
  3. Papa Shongo puts a Curse on the Ultimate Warrior and Makes Him Throw Up
  4. "Mean" Gene Okerlund Tag Teams With Hulk Hogan. Yes, this happened once in the early 1980s and they pinned Mr. Fuji and George "The Animal" Steele.
  5. The WWF Gobble-Dee-Gooker. The gobble-dee-gooker was a really lame late-1980s WWF mascot that was hyped as a big pay-per-view surprise for months and finally hatched at a pay-per-view from a huge egg that had been carted around to TV tapings for months. Hopefully, they fired the Harvard MBA that came up with this idea.
  6. Akeem, The African Dream
  7. The WWF Animal Kingdom - Jake's Snake, Koko B. Ware's Frankie, The British Bulldogs' Winston, Ricky's Dragon. Am I forgetting anyone?
  8. The Leprechaun
  9. The Temple of Doom match where the loser, Abdullah the Butcher, was put in an electric chair afterwards.
  10. Seargent Slaughter sides with the Iraqis during the Gulf War. Wrestling angles should be harmless. imho, this was an offensive angle while the war was going on and young men and women were risking their lives.

Top Ten Tattoo Jobs

by Bill
  1. The Undertaker (Awesome Grim Reaper)
  2. Ivan Koloff (Russian Sicle piercing the head of a bald eagle)
  3. Bam Bam Bigelow (Nice head!)
  4. "Diamond" Dallas Page (Too many to count)
  5. "Handsome" Harley Race (Too many to count)
  6. The Ultimate Warrior (Tattoo of himself)
  7. Rick Steiner (Dog-faced gremlin)
  8. Medusa Micelli (Four of them in various places)
  9. Road Warrior Animal (Tasmanian Devil)
  10. Rick Rude (Big anchor on his arm. Must be a Popeye fan.)
    Honorable Mention: Blackjack Mulligan (Although he only had one, his USMC tattoo gave away the fact that he was the Big Machine of the late-1980s WWF trio)

Top Ten Sets of Entrance Music

by Bill
  1. Harlem Heat (my Windows Start wav at home)
  2. Ric Flair (my Windows Start wav at work)
  3. The Four Horsemen
  4. The nWo
  5. Hulk Hogan (1980's - Eye of the Tiger)
  6. "Macho Man" Randy Savage (Pomp and Circumstance - The Unmodified Version)
  7. Public Enemy
  8. The Dungeon of Doom
  9. Ray Misterio, Jr.
  10. The Undertaker

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