WCW Saturday Night - Saturday, March 2nd, 1996
- So, let's go over what WCW is bringing to the table...
- We have the newly re-debuted tag team of the Road Warriors in line for a World Tag Title match against Luger and Sting at Uncensored in March.
- It appears there isn't an exact opponent for Ric Flair, thus I'm going to assume there will no World Title match. But obviously Flair will have a match.
- Booty Man is in line for a push... how far? That's the question.
- Haven't seen Benoit, Malenko or Guerrero in quite some time, at least on Nitro.
- Loch Ness has been demolishing undercard wrestlers. Perhaps all the way to gold?
- That's all that appears to be happening. Not much is it? This happens when your company focuses on four or five people.
- Let's get to some WCW Saturday Night!
- Saturday Night opening video. Which in case you haven't already picked up on, I like.
- Highlights from the past edition of Nitro. Yawn.
- Tony and Dusty are on duty to bring some ever popular and insightful commentary.
- Tony mentions an exclusive one-on-one interview with Miss Elizabeth tonight.
- Whoa. A World Title match, on Saturday Night? Ric Flair will defend against...Sting.
- Over or under five gorilla press slams by Sting tonight? I'll take the over.
- Tony introduces a new announcer for WCW Main Event, Lee Marshall. He is a nerd.
- Time for some action.
- Loch Ness Vs The Shadow & Kenny Shaw
- Well, looks like the domination by Ness will be continuing here.
- Shadow has a mask, I assume so you can't see him? Get it, Shadow... I need some amusement people.
- Well, this match is no longer than thirty seconds. Ness pins both men after an elbow drop.
- Surprise! Tony didn't say this was the greatest Saturday Night match, ever.
- Your Winner: Loch Ness via pinfall
- Replay of really the entire match. But WCW will call it "highlights".
- Now we get the interview we have been waiting for, with Jimmy Hart and Loch Ness!
- Jimmy Hart puts Ness over, and says that he is ready for everyone, especially Hogan.
- One would think this Hogan program is really going to happen.
- Ness says that Hart promised him a shot at Hogan. Ness says he will destroy Hogan.
- Hart says he will get his shot.
- We get the weekly "Which WWF wrestler will we see get beaten up?"
- This week it's the British Bulldog, who was in WCW in 1993, getting beaten up by Lord Steven Regal.
- "Dirty" Dick Slater w/ Col. Parker Vs The American Males
- Yes, this is a handicap match. Where is Bunkhouse Buck? Good Question.
- Slater manages to hold his own with slams on both Males.
- But, obviously, facing two other men doesn't help your odds. When you're alone.
- After a double dropkick, Riggs pins Slater for the victory.
- Tony even asks the same I question, where Buck is. I guess the two men have been having issues.
- Your Winners: American Males via pinfall.
- Gene is standing with Slater and Parker. Slater is crying?
- Good God. Slater is tired of Parker ruining his and Buck's chances at Tag Team gold.
- Slater says that Parker is ruining their profession.
- Madusa comes over and Parker appears to be smitten by her.
- Madusa has Parker close his eyes for a surprise, which just happens to be a knuckle sandwich (aka a right hand).
- Madusa challenges Parker to a match at Uncensored.
- At the Uncensored Control Center, a "Doomsday" challenge match has been issued to Hogan.
- I'm assuming guys from the Horsemen and Dungeon of Doom will be involved.
- Commercials
- Arn Anderson/Kevin Sullivan Vs Tom Kent/Scott D'Amore
- D'Amore has Dallas Page type of pants on. But, he doesn't do as well as DDP would.
- Anderson with the DDT on D'Amore, it's over in less than two minutes.
- After the match, Sullivan and Anderson continue the attack on D'Amore by dressing him in a Hogan headband.
- Your Winners: Arn Anderson/Kevin Sullivan via pinfall.
- Sullivan, Anderson, Flair, Woman and Elizabeth are standing with Gene.
- Anderson says "every rose has its thorns"... name that tune.
- They hype up the six man strap match for Nitro.
- Flair says it's time for them to beat up Hogan, Savage and Booty Man.
- Apparently it's a strap match, along with lumberjacks.
- Commercials
- Chris Benoit Vs Eddie Guerrero
- How ridiculous. Benoit and Guerrero are relegated to Saturday Night, while a dude named Booty Man gets on Nitro. I guess they believe Booty Man can draw... Hmm.
- Nonetheless, this should be good. So it works for me.
- Benoit with a powerful power bomb on Guerrero, but he misses the flying head butt.
- For a Saturday Night crowd, they sure are into this match.
- Guerrero connects with the frog splash, or as Tony calls it the "jackknife"... Idiot.
- Guerrero with a rollup, 1-2-3.
- Your Winner: Eddie Guerrero via pinfall
- Benoit nicely attacks Guerrero after the match.
- Lee Marshall is standing with Chris Benoit.
- Benoit is pissed. He tells Guerrero he wanted to prolong the pain.
- Benoit issues another challenge, for next week, on Saturday Night.
- That's good for me.
- Commercials
- Diamond Dallas Page Vs Joey Maggs
- Page apparently has sold everything, including his tights.
- This is another two minute match, with Page connecting with the Diamond Cutter.
- Have jobbers ever had a manager? Because, if so, Teddy Long is one crummy manager.
- Your Winner: Diamond Dallas Page via pinfall
- Lee Marshall is standing with DDP, who says he will go straight back to the penthouse.
- Page says that he wants one more match. Against who, you ask?
- None other than... Johnny B. Badd.
- Page says that if he loses, he will quit WCW.
- Commercials
- Cobra Vs Lex Luger
- Cobra actually gets some offense on Luger. Cobra nearly had the win, until Hart pushed Cobra off the top rope.
- And when I mean "nearly", I mean not even close.
- Luger with the Torture Rack for the win.
- Your Winner: Lex Luger via submission
- Sting comes down and chases Jimmy Hart to the backstage area.
- Luger and Sting go over to Gene and they continue to argue.
- Apparently Luger doesn't know what a Street Fight is.
- Luger is by Sting's side. Sting says that Luger is a rich spoiled fellow.
- Commercials
- We go backstage to Gene who is standing Hogan and Savage.
- Hogan hypes up the strap match. Also he is saying that Elizabeth was scared to handcuff him.
- Savage says that Dungeon of Doom is afraid.
- Booty Man comes over and repeats that the match is a strap match, along with a lumberjack match.
- Hogan says he will whip their booties, with straps.
- And that's all I can handle of this.
- V.K. Wallstreet Vs Jim Duggan
- After a few boring moments, Craig Pittman comes down and punches Wallstreet. Wallstreet was using the ropes for leverage, so Pittman smacks him leading to Duggan getting the pin.
- Poor VK
- Your Winner: Jim Duggan via pinfall
- The Giant Vs Evad Sullivan
- Choke Slam... Splat.
- Afterwards, Jim Duggan comes down with a taped fist and sends Giant to the floor.
- Your Winner: The Giant via pinfall
- We go to the interview with Elizabeth.
- She says she wants everything that Savage owns.
- She says if it wasn't for her, Savage would be washing dishes in some diner.
- She says that Flair showed her the limo riding style. It's something she can easily get used to.
- Elizabeth says "when things go bad, I'm going to be there, too."
- Faces of Fear Vs Two Jobbers
- Well, FOF have complete control and get the pin after a double Mafia kick.
- Your Winners: Faces of Fear via pinfall
- We see Sting beating up Vader in 1992.
- Commercials
- For the WCW World Heavyweight Title: Sting Vs (champion) Ric Flair
- Early one... gorilla press slam, that's one.
- Flair tries to stall time every time Sting gets offense.
- Sting has offensive control, with Flair begging.
- Guess what happens...
- No, Sting doesn't win.
- Instead we get the... "Were out of Time" crap by Tony
- Your Winner: Most likely Flair.
- The Good: Guerrero/Benoit... that's about it.
- The Bad: The other matches.
- The Ugly: The fact that on Saturday Night, I couldn't get a finished main event. Between two decent workers. Boo!!!