WCW Thunder - Thursday, 04/09/98

By Xavier Doom

Well, WCW didn't deliver Ric Flair on Thunder, but it wasn't a total loss.

great

anywhere

Opening montage: We're treated to some pre-World War II black and white footage of Hollywood Hogan and Randy Savage. Oh, I'm sorry, this stuff is recent. These guys are so old it's hard to tell when the stuff was shot.
We go to the live shot. Tony blabs, and then Marshall starts. Hey! Marshall's microphone level is low. No! Don't turn it up! Damn, they did. Oh well. Tony, Marshall and The Brain talk about Savage and his injury.
They replay the Nitro pics of Savage laid out in the parking lot. Oh the humanity!! Ooooh, YEAH!!
Match One: Tokyo Magnum vs. Saturn
- Saturn charges Magnum.
- Welcome to squash city.
- Saturn dominates for a few minutes.
- Saturn locks on the Rings of Saturn, and then he lets go.
- Saturn locks on the Rings of Saturn, and then he lets go.
- Saturn locks on the Rings of Saturn, Magnum craps his pants and gives up.
- Saturn calls out Goldberg! Excellent!
- Goldburp comes out.
- The crowd loses it.
- Goldburp enters the ring and flips Riggs over the top rope.
- Humperdido! He picks up Kidman and tosses him into Sick Boy.
- Sick Boy catches Kidman and Goldburp gives 'em the spear.
- Reese enters the ring and gets pushed over the top.
- Hey! Saturn and Hammer are fighting each other.
- Raven's still sitting in the front row. He looks unimpressed.
- Commercial.
Match Two: Yuji Nagata vs. Prince Iaukea
- The Prince gets a decent pop from the crowd, despite the goofy dance.
- Switches and headlocks to begin.
- Nagata grabs the tuft of hair on Iaukea's head.
- The Prince blows a headscissors. Both guys fall back. Weird.
- The headlocks, leglocks and armlocks continue. The crowd's getting restless.
- The announcers start talking about Hogan and the top guys. At least they tried to call this one for a few minutes.
- Iron Mike Tenay has joined the broadcast team. I didn't notice.
- Good dropkick by The Prince.
- Sonny Ono interferes, so The Prince gives him an axehandle from the top.
- Nagata with a legwhip.
- Not that it matters. Northern Lights supplex by The Prince, straight into a pin.
- Chris Jericho (dressed in a Calgary Hitmen jersey) comes out and starts talking trash to The Prince.
- "There's no way you, Prince Makamaky, are a cruiserweight."
- Jericho says The Prince eats too much pizza, hamburger and pineapple surprise to be a cruiserweight.
- Jericho promises to bring a scale to the ring later in the show to prove The Prince is too heavy to wrestle for Jericho's belt.
Pics of Mortis.
- They show Mortis listening to Raven at a recent Thunder.
- This is leading to Mortis joining The Flock, I guess.
- Raven says Mortis must beat Diamond Dallas Page.
- Pics of Mortis getting his ass kicked by DDP.
- Pics of Raven beating up Mortis after the DDP match.
This Week in WCW Motorsports...
- Ah, bite me.
Raven enters the ring with the US title belt.
- Raven sits in the corner and makes fun of DDP's work ethic.
- Some jackass grabs Raven by the hair and pulls him out of the ring.
- I don't think that was a plant. That guy looked like a real fan who jumped the barrier.
- If that is the case, he really is a jackass.
- Raven talks for a while longer. The crowd is laughing at Raven and drowns him out. It doesn't help that at first, after the attack, Raven's microphone doesn't work at all.
- Then, the people at home can hear Raven, but people in the arena can't. So, like at a bad comedy act, people in the crowd start conversing with one another and ignore the show. Finally, a stagehand waves a new mircophone at Raven, he takes it, and luckily for us all, everyone can hear him again.
- Raven promises revenge on DDP at Spring Stampede.
- I can't get over that guy who attacked Raven.
- Was that a plant? Geez, what a twit. [Note from Bill: Whenever the wrestler doesn't fight back, and security swarms, it's usually not a plant. i.e. At Halloween Havoc, Savage and Hogan "beat up" the "fan" who ran in the cage while security hung back. That's how you knew it was a plant.]
- Commercial.
Tony Schiavone calls out Buff Bagwell.
- Buff's wearing the ugliest t-shirt I've ever seen -- an nWo shirt with his face painted on the back.
- Schiavone teases the Buff-Luger match that's scheduled for the upcoming Nitro.
- Bagwell talks about how he's 5-1 against Luger. Schiavone incorrectly notes that none of Bagwell's victories are by pinfall. Tony forgets about Starrcade '97. It wasn't clean, but it was a pinfall. How come Tony does this for a living and can't remember?
- Blah, blah, blah. Some wrestling, please.
Match Three: Konnan (with Vincent) vs. Chris Benoit
- Typical entrance for Konnan and Vincent. Lots of talking and weird walking.
- The match starts and Konnan's yakking already.
- Benoit is wearing a Calgary Hitmen jersey like Jericho.
- Chops by Benoit.
- Vincent is interfering right in front of the ref. How about a disqualification?
- I can't believe WCW released Steve Regal and hung on to Vincent.
- It goes outside, where Vincent unloads on Benoit -- in front of the ref!
- Benoit locks the Crippler Crossface. Konnan reaches the ropes.
- They trade a few more moves, and Benoit locks on the crossface again.
- Submission.
- Commercial.
Match Four: Curt Hennig (with Rick Rude) vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
- Rude joins the broadcast team.
- My bud Wheezer© calls. He predicts that the first man to pull a wrestling move will win the match.
- Could be a long night.
- Duggan is so annoying.
- Duggan's moving in slow-motion so the rest of us can keep up.
- Punch-punch-punch-axehandle-clothesline-clothesline. Thanks, Hacksaw!
- Rude comes to ringside and saves Hennig from jobbing to Duggan.
- Disqualification.
- They handcuff Duggan to the ropes and beat the sawdust out of him.
- Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith make the save.
- Commercial.
Match Five: Glacier vs. Lex Luger
- I can't believe they put these stiffs in the ring against each other.
- I used to like Luger when he had potential. That was 10 years ago. He never got any better.
- The fans love Luger. Go figure.
- Luger pumps the pecs and circles the ring. I doubt he'll get any more exciting.
- Oooooh! Luger pulls the hiptoss and does the pose. Never seen that before.
- Buff watches from the rampway.
- Glacier pulls a few karate kicks.
- Glacier to the top, but Luger hits him with his secret weapon: the punch.
- Clothesline! Clothesline!
- Luger's signalling for the bird dance! Oh, wait, I guess he's going for the rack.
- He puts Glacier in the rack, and that's it.
- Another win for The Total Parcel.
- Commercial.
Match Six: Billy Kidman (with Reese) vs. Psychosis
- I've said it before, I'll say it again. When I see Billy Kidman, I see The Messiah character from the DC Comic, Preacher.
- Humperdido!!!
- Psychosis hits a clothesline.
- He puts Kidman outside and hits him with a tope.
- Kidman pancakes Psycho, and stomps a mudhole in him.
- Kidman places Psycho on the top rope.
- Psycho throws him down.
- Jericho comes to the ring and starts chatting up the ref.
- Psycho goes to the top, and is ready to finish off Kidman when La Parka nails him from behind with a chair.
- La Parka, satisfied with his work, struts on the apron.
- Kidman to the top. Beautiful shooting star press. 1-2-3.
- Jericho pulls out a scale.
- We go to replay, and when we come back, Tony is in the ring with Jericho.
- Jericho demands some respect. He is the man of 1004 holds after all.
- Jericho calls out Prince Makamaky.
- The Prince agrees to step on the scale. He weighs in at 218.
- Jericho says it can't be right. "The scale isn't calibrated properly."
- He then picks up the scale and nails The Prince with it twice. Ouch.
- Brings back memories of Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka and a coconut.
- Liontamer. Commercial.
Match Seven: Disco Inferno vs. Scott Steiner
- Geez, Disco looks pretty damn stupid dancing around the way he does.
- Big Poppa Pump comes out with Buff. Man, Steiner is frikkin' huge.
- The Pump and Buff pose it up in the ring with a trophy.
- I'm glad Steiner is interesting again. The Steiners started off the decade with so much potential. And then they got boring.
- It's not what I'd call a stiff match, but Steiner hits harder than most guys in WCW.
- Disco gets a short offence, but gets caught in an overhead supplex.
- Steiner recliner.
- Thank you, goodnight.
- Commercial.
Match Eight: Chris Jericho vs. Booker T
- The TV title is up for grabs.
- Now this has potential to be a match.
- The crowd loves Booker.
- They lock up. Clean break by the TV champ.
- Great switch into a clothesline by Booker.
- Booker T back kick.
- Booker clotheslines Jericho over the top.
- Jericho tries to go back to the dressing room and Booker drags Jericho back in.
- The crowd is standing. Yo, Bischoff!!! Do you get the idea that these are the guys the fans really want to see?
- Hot shot by Jericho.
- Tony comments about Jericho hitting Makamaky with the scale.
- Heenan: "Maybe he was just weighing his head."
- Vertical suplex by Jericho, but some breakdancing is the end result.
- Jericho misses the Lionsault.
- Booker with the sidewalk slam.
- Scissor kick. Pancake. The end looks near for Jericho.
- Jericho pulls the ref in the way of a missile dropkick.
- The ref calls for the bell. Jericho is disqualified.
- Seems Jericho is stealing the show tonight. Makes my Canadian heart beat with pride.
- Commercial.
Tony's on the rampway again.
- He says there'll be no announcement from Flair tonight.
- Tony uses the weather as an excuse.
- According to Internet dirt sheets, Flair was supposed to debut a new version of the Horsemen.
- Guess they're saving it for the Monday night ratings or, as per Internet rumors, they announced Flair was going to appear even though he had the day off.
- Eric Bischoff and Big Poppa Pump come out.
- The Bisch disses Flair, and says he's no Hollywood Hogan.
- Steiner poses as the Bisch sets up a clip of Hollywood's new movie.
- It's a trailer for The Three Ninjas. In the clip, Hollywood is called "Hulk Hogan".
- Loni Anderson and the guy who played Ernest are in this flick. So, forget Kirstie Alley.
- They come back and Steiner says Flair didn't show because he's a coward.
- Arn Anderson -- ARN ANDERSON -- walks out.
- Anderson defends Flair's dignity.
- Bischoff calls Flair garbage.
- The Total Parcel walks out, and Big Poppa Pump pops him.
- Rick Steiner comes out and suplexes Bischoff to the floor.
- Say what you want about Bischoff putting himself in the angles. He takes abuse for it.
- Commercial.
Match Nine: Kevin Nash (with Konnan) vs. Rick Steiner
- Konnan looks like a chihuahua next to Nash.
- Nash does the Hall "Hey, yo".
- Nash says that Hogan has to have it his way. He's not happy about it.
- He accuses Hogan of interfering in his Monday night match against Sting.
- Nash says the nWo is loyal to him, not Hogan.
- Nash trash-talks Piper and The Giant.
- Steiner comes to the ring. The nWo comes out.
- Steiner gets the upper hand, and the nWo distracts him.
- Nash squishes Steiner in the corner and chokes him.
- Steinerline.
- Steiner to the top with a bulldog.
- Cover, and Konnan runs in. Disqualification.
- The nWo beats up on Steiner. Nash delivers a jackknife.
- The Giant comes out of the back and starts beating up the nWo.
- The credits roll.
Er, that's it.

WCW Thunder - Thursday, 04/09/98

By Xavier Doom

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