'Tis the season for weddings, so I was out of town this weekend at my cousin's shindig. So I apologize if this report is later than usual, or not as coherent. I'd do the trendy thing and quote the Paragon of Virtue ("It'll never, eeeeever happen again!"), but I've got another wedding and a 1-year-old niece's birthday party still to go in the month, so I'm not making any promises.
It's been a busy week for Chris Benoit.
The wrestler who gets the shaft more than Richard Roundtree won, lost, and won again the World Television Title over the past three nights, ending with the Internet Pay-Per-Listen "Profiles In Pain" (which was actually JFK's lesser-known book, this one about SadoMasochism). As I'm typing this on Sunday night before watching my tape of the Muthaship, it'll be interesting to see if they mention the first couple of title switches. But, as it is right now, Benoit's a two-time World Television Champion now, joining the likes of Disco Inferno!!!
Apparently, Hollywood Hogan's not going to be wrestling at Slamboree, allegedly because with Nitro's screwy schedule, there won't be enough time to properly hype the event up to Hogan's Ego's standards. If this is true, am I the only one who thinks that this might be a blessing in disguise? (As opposed to "robots in disguise . . . that's something else entirely).
But enough about me, how's the Muthaship been?
And we're on TBS for an hour of WCW Saturday Night!
Match 1: Jim Duggan pinned Barry Darsow after Old Glory
- We're two weeks from Slamboree!
- Scott Hudson and Mike Tenay are in the hizous.
- Darsow: "I'm the only good one from Minnesota."
- Main events tonight: Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit, and Curt Hennig vs. Jim Neidhart.
- Oh Lord no! Jim "Cheap Heat" Duggan.
- As Duggan stomps around the ring, I feel myself getting dumber.
- Duggan gets the 2x4 and chases Darsow from the ring.
- WCW Nitro will be on at 7pm Monday night. I think that's just for an hour, and the second and third hours will be on from 2-4am!!!
- Darsow fights on the break, but Duggan doesn't sell it.
- Darsow slides out of the ring to avoid an early attempt at the Three-Point Stance.
- The announcers mention Darsow's "Barely Legal" submission hold. I think reader Aldo D. said it best when he suggested that Darsow come out with a 16-year-old girl, point to her, and say "Now THIS is barely legal!"
- Duggan drops for a backdrop, and Darsow drops him.
- Darsow tries to fight Duggan, but Duggan just paces around the ring.
- Darsow finally takes Duggan down with a head twist.
- The crowd chants "USA". Unlike most Duggan matches, I can actually understand this one, a bit. After all, Darsow used to be "Russian sympathiser" Krusher Kruschev.
- Darsow with a knee to the gut, and gets a two-count.
- Duggan sends Darsow into the post, and rolls him back in.
- Duggan ho's.
- Darsow slams Duggan for two.
- Darsow's gotten more offense than most Duggan matches.
- Duggan avoids a corner charge, drops Darsow with a spinning bodyslam, and hits the Three Point Stance.
- Duggan then drops Old Glory
- Duggan: "Watch out, nWo, I'm looking for you."
Mean Gene is in the back with Booker T.
- Booker's got the belt.
- Gene calls Booker "Book."
- Booker is talking about all those Canadians wanting to jump into Booker T's face (Martel, Jericho, Benoit).
- Booker says he's sorry for Scissor-Kicking Mickey Jay at Spring Stampede.
- Booker says he's going to take Benoit "out of the game" tonight.
Promo for Slamboree.
Hudson and Tenay talk about the main events.
- They aren't acknowledging the title switches thus far at the house shows.
Match 2: Kidman (w/Reese) pinned Chavo Guerrero Jr. with the Seven Year Itch
- Kidman gets a piggyback ride from Reese, and grooms him for lice.
- Kidman scratches.
- Chavito comes out with his "Eddie Guerrero is my favorite wrestler" shirt.
- Tenay notices that Uncle Eddie isn't at ringside.
- Lots of smoke in the arena tonight.
- Nice headscissors from Chavo, followed by a high dropkick.
- Chavo flies over the top rope onto Kidman on the outside.
- Belly-to-back suplex from Chavo for two.
- Kidman drives his knee into Chavo's face, and hits his rope-bounce clothesline.
- Kidman with a bodyslam, and a slingshot legdrop.
- Kidman with the Alternative Resthold.
- Kidman sets Chavo up for what looks like a Hotshot, but turns it into a split-legged spinebuster!
- Kidman scratches, allowing Chavo to kick out.
- Side suplex from the itchy one.
- Kidman mounts the second rope, but misses a legdrop.
- Chavo fights back.
- Big backdrop from Chavo, followed by a clothesline.
- Chavo hits the Death Valley Driver, but Kidman gets to the ropes.
- Kidman flips out of a belly-to-back suplex, and hits the rope-spring bulldog.
- The Seven Year Itch spells the end for Chavo.
- Tenay mentions that Jushin "Thunder" Liger invented the Shooting Star Press, but says that Kidman has perfected it.
Another promo for Slamboree.
- We take a "very special look" at the Savage/Hart feud.
- That look wasn't very special, actually.
Promo for the Buff Bagwell hat.
- Apparently, Buff got a blood clot in either his lungs or trachea, but is doing well now.
Mean Gene plugs his hotline.
Match 3: Curt Hennig pinned Jim Neidhart with the HennigPlex
- Woah! Some guy in the audience has an "I.C.O.N." shirt on. I think that if WCW made 100 of those shirts, this guy owns one and Roddy Piper owns 99.
- Curt Hennig comes out alone.
- Tenay wonders why Brian Adams walked out of the tag match.
- Jim Neidhart comes out to write an English doctoral thesis. "Yeah, baby!"
- Hennig's not wearing his big knee brace.
- Hennig punches on the rope break.
- Hennig taunts the fans.
- Neidhart comes back, and biels Hennig by the hair.
- Neidhart drops Hennig's throat over the top rope.
- Hudson talks about a "more vicious Neidhart" in the ring tonight.
- Neidhart slams Hennig, and whips him into the corner.
- Neidhart sets up to make a wish, and Hennig kicks him in the nads.
- Neidhart gnaws on Hennig's head.
- Neidhart punches Hennig in the corner, but Hennig comes out with an inverted atomic drop.
- Hennig then drops Neidhart with the HennigPlex for the win.
This week in WCW MotorSports
- People got drunk enough to watch cars drive around in a circle for a few hours. That's pretty drunk.
They plug Sting/Giant vs. Hall/Nash at Slamboree
- First time we'll have seen both Hall AND the tag belts since the Roosevelt administration.
Match 4: WCW World Television Champion Booker T and Chris Benoit fought to a double countout
- Yes! Benoit! Benoit gets a big pop.
- Benoit's nodding to someone in the crowd, and glowering at the camera.
- Yes? Yes? Yes?
- No? No? No?
- Booker's wearing the belt, and boxing toward the camera.
- Hudson says that nobody has ever powered out of the Crippler Crossface.
- A tie-up doesn't give either man an advantage.
- Benoit with a punch on the rope break, but breaks cleanly the second time.
- Armdrag from the Crippler.
- Booker takes Benoit down and out with a shoulderblock.
- Benoit's selling the shoulderblock like a fractured skull. Either that or he hit his head.
- Benoit drop-toeholds Booker into the turnbuckles.
- Benoit kicks Booker down in the corner, and glares to the crowd.
- Benoit gets his feet up on a Booker corner charge, but Booker hits a powerslam as Benoit comes out of the corner.
- We cut back to a wide shot to show that, yes, we are looking at a real wrestling ring.
- Benoit gets flipped with a knee to the gut.
- Booker tries another knee, but Benoit rolls him up for two.
- Snap-suplex from Benoit.
- Both men are slow to get up.
- Belly-to-back suplex from Benoit, who covers Booker for two.
- Benoit whips Booker into the corners, and hits the double-arm clothesline.
- Booker catches the ropes, and Benoit misses a dropkick.
- Booker with a spinning side kick.
- Benoit clotheslines Booker over the top rope, and flips over himself.
- They brawl on the outside, and Nick Patrick gets to the ten-count. Double-countout.
- They fight all the way to the back.
- And that's all for me, too!