WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 6/22/98
- Chan did not have the time this week to print e-mail, he'll do that at a later date. He does have 2 final questions: If you have a transcript of Chris Jericho's intros at the Slamboree pay-per-view or know where to get one, e-mail the man. Also, please send in any music videos you know of that feature ZEUS aka Tiny Lister aka Ze Gansta aka Dibo from Friday.
- Live from Jacksonville...
- Tape from 2 weeks ago of DDP
- Tape from Hogan-Rodman-Malone-DDP on Leno
- DDP interview with Gene discussing July 12th PPV match - uses phrased "Jacked in Jacksonville" again
- Nitro Girls
- Disco Inferno defeated Lynn Denton with a piledriver
- Denton is a Portland legend under a mask as the Grappler. He also was one of the Dirty White Boys with Tony Anthony
- DI looks like the guy in Aiwa commercial
- DI emulates the People's Elbow. I like Disco but that's sacreligious
- Disco won with the piledriver
- Kevin Greene came out for an interview talking about football and almost all football
- The Giant attacked Greene while Rude and Hennig distracted him
- After commercial, they showed pull-apart brawl between the four. Among the people that broke it up were referees, Arn, Benoit, and Mongo. On the spot, J.J. Dillon books a match between Giant and Greene for later tonight.
- Classy Motors commercial in our area. Significant because Buddy Landel is their spokesperson.
- Dirty Works reference: Look at all these dead hookers in your trunk
- Yuji Nagata with Sonny Onoo d. Tokoyo (WCW's spelling, not mine) Magnum with the Nagatalock
- Magnum is a Ultimo Dragon trainee
- Magnum acted like a pimp!
- That was the only thing significant
- Zack Morris was the referee
- Raven Promo
- They show Benoit getting beaten up backstage by Stevie Ray with the Keystone Cops breaking it up
- Public Enemy w/table vs Sick Boy and Horace w/Lodi and stop sign
- Announcers continue discussing the mugging dished out on Benoit
- Baby Hogan and Sick Boy use some early doubleteam tactics, later to be thrown out of the ring
- Billy Silverman is the ref
- Signs: "Lodi is Alive", "Everyone Wants to be 'Sick'"
- The match is totally ignored as Larry begins to talk about his game on the golf course earlier in the day
- Rocco Rock goes for the "People's Elbow" but he's obviously not a suave as The Rock
- Horace seems to be struggling on a move as simple as a side slam
- Rocco Rock is clotheslined over the top rope to the floor
- Lodi throws Horace the stop sign, he goes to hit Johnny Grunge. He nails Rocco Rock and Sick Boy
- PE wins after Rocco comes off the top rope onto a stop sign bearing Horace Boulder
- Pathetic
- Next, footage from the Tonight Show
- Nitro Girls in nWo shirts
- For the record, my favorites, Fire and Chae, are pro-Wolfpac
- Mean Gene interviews Bret Hart
- Apparently Benoit used to be a good Canadian until he joined WCW.
- Bret Hart says, "Damn straight", I would have preferred "Damn skippy" myself...
- Hart and Benoit will be facing each other for the first time ever, tonight.
- Footage from Jay Leno show
- We've all heard about it so I won't comment on it
- Well, Hogan is acting very gay in this segment
- For the record, Chan's, yes Chan's, Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy was just violated with spray paint
- The crew is also on a mouse hunt. Chan is determined to kill a mouse with spray paint.
- Bill Goldberg vs Rick Fuller
- Wouldn't it be kind of bad if Goldberg's career went to hell? I mean, we all remember that The Renegade was supposed to carry Hulkamania into the next century.
- Fuller: "Goldberg is an impenetrable force of flesh"
- Matt: "He's not afraid to drop the soap in the shower"
- Messed up spear, and Jackhammer for the win
- Looks like Goldberg has a giant zit on his forehead
- Scott Dickinson was the ref
- Footage of a fan talking about Rodman
- He surpasses the bilingual skills of Amanda, Matt, and myself.
- This fan was trilingual: English, Spanish, and most impressively, JIVE
- Mike Tenay, earlier today, in the midst of some rowdy fans
- Kid: "DDP's gonna bang Karl, I mean, Rodman"
- Matt imitating kid: "Who's my daddy?"
- Nash, Sting, and Konnan with a sarape (big @$$ shirt)
- K-Dawg is lookin' a little like Zorro
- Kinda sad to note that this is the last time I will be reporting about Konnan's tremendous ability of scratching himself
- We're just waiting for Nash to say, "Word"
- Konnan's rawdy, olale, and raza schtick
- Nash: "Goldberg killed Kenny"
- Sting: "Owwwwwwwwww"
- Sting's pointy face is starting to scare us a little
- Nash brought Chan's rubber woman in the ring. Actually, a woman in the crowd tonight brought an inflatable love doll with her.
- Sting and Nash make a challenge to Giant and ?
- Nash had to do his "Too Sweet" schtick before a cut to commercial
- More Nitro Girls
- Alex Wright vs Eddie Guerrero
- Big complaint here
- Matt has decided that "dirty skanks" are his kind of girls. If you're a dirty skank, e-mail Chan
- Wright just planted a big one, kiss that is, on the ring girl
- Sign: "Eddie Guerrero is my favorite migrant worker"
- In the worst angle of mankind, Chavo being a psycho, we are annoyed once again with Chavo sneaking up on Eddie
- "Shooter" Mark Curtis is the ref
- Tony: "Bash at the Beach has been the turning point in WCW's history"
- So was last month's Nitro, and last week's Nitro, and tonight's Nitro, and next week's Nitro will be.....
- After so much work, Alex's hair is still in place.
- Chavo is doing psycho mic work again
- Alex wins with "Rude Awakening"
- Chavo: "Bye German guy"
- Eddie slaps Chavo, which provokes Chavo to talk about last night's game of Monopoly.
- Eddie: "Wacko" Chavo: "No, Chavo. C-H-A-V-O"
- More fan footage
- Konnan vs "One-Eyed" Scotty (Riggs that is)
- Sign: "We Hate Gators"
- So do we, we're University of Tennessee Volunteers fans
- Lodi sign: "Lodi is your Idol"
- Coincidence? We think not.
- Riggs blew your basic move, the leapfrog
- Konnan decks Lodi, and is hammered by Riggs
- Nick Patrick is the ref
- Konnan wins via Tequila Sunrise
- Ever since Konnan joined the Wolfpac, he hasn't been a jobber
- Clips of Malone/Hogan press conference. It lasted a whole segment. I hope WCW does the job in the quarter hour ratings breakdown on that one.
- Nitro Girls
- Stevie Ray vs. Steve "Mongo" McMichael
- Note from Matt: The words to the song are "White people have no rhythm" repeated. Try singing it the next time it comes on. Yes, Matt was here for a Nitro report.
- This was held in Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood.
- Horsemen music. WHOOOOOOOOOO!
- Stevie Ray is one bad mutha? I'll shut my typewriter. WHOO! Sorry I'm Jacked watching Jacksonville with Ric Flair references. WHOO!
- Close up of both Mongo's and Stevie's guts. WCW should have had some fat ref referee this one so they wouldn't look fat
- They cut to a commercial during the match. Don't they normally do that during good matches? WHOO!
- Commercial for the Carpenters' Love Songs. I wanna know the self-respecting wrestling fans who would buy this tape. That's check or money order to...
- Rest holds of the century in this one. WHOO!
- It's an extravaganza. That comes from a Latin word. Anybody know what it is? If anybody e-mails Chan on that one, he'll WHOO you to Chyna. WHOO!
- Benoit interferes to prevent Stevie Ray from using a chair
- Booker T prevented Benoit from interfering
- The bell rang after Ray walked out of the ring. He wasn't out 2 seconds before the damn countout.
- Tenay has the look of a constipated man
- Snore, Hogan music
- Me and Matt thought of Liz tonight on our way to Chan's when we heard Queen's "Fat Bottom Girls"
- Liz agrees with Bischoff that life is great without Randy.
- We all agree that life would be great without Hogan
- Bischoff lets out a really irritating laugh
- Disciple should dress like George Clinton, of Parliament, and call himself the BootyDisciple.
- Yada, yada, blah, blah, puke, puke. Hogan sucks, Hogan sucks.
- Footage of Hart confronting Benoit
- Chris Benoit vs Bret Hart
- The 2 combatants are referred as "Two of the greatest technical wrestlers ever"
- Billy Silverman has graduated to main event status in the referee ranks
- A loyal reader pleaded with me to comment on Benoit's physique this week. Umm, I don't think so. I'm a guy, love me for who I am.
- The first high impact move of the match was, yes, you guessed it, a DDT
- Either a Nitro Girl or Goldberg just walked by because Heenan is getting a little too excited
- Dare I say, WHOOOOOOO, after Benoit's chops
- Benoit kicks out after a 2-count from an ever-impressive tombstone piledriver
- The announcers were not surprised that the match has surpassed the commercial break
- Wouldn't that be cool if they started a match at the start of Nitro and 3 hours later it was still going on?
- Especially if it was something like El Dandy vs Horace Boulder
- Benoit hits a couple suplexes, a full-nelson suplex, but misses his diving headbutt
- Hart goes to the top, Benoit makes him straddle the turnbuckle, and Benoit hits a superplex, but Hart kicks out
- Benoit hits a sharp shortarmed clothesline for a 2-count
- Benoit locks on the Crossface, but Hart is too close to the ropes
- Stevie Ray interferes to allow Hart to roll up Benoit
- Hart wins with the Sharpshooter. Benoit never submitted, his arm dropped 3 times ala sleeper hold
- Bret hit him with an international object
- Earlier they talked about the physicality of the match which reminded us of Brian Pillman having to undress on RAW and Jim Ross talking about how exciting it was. Easily, the best thing Jim Ross has ever said.
- The ref's initials were B.S. which is exactly what that match was
- They couldn't put Kevin Greene and Giant's match before the Hart/Benoit match because we all know the tremendous talent that Greene and Giant have.
- Kevin Greene vs Giant
- The Satanic JJ Dillon has approved and sanctioned this match
- Someone rolled up their posterboard to look like a cigarette. That is pretty damn funny
- Absolutely no pop as Kevin Greene comes through the entrance.
- Greene with a classic comeback, headbutt to the groin
- Hennig and Rude pearl harbor Greene. Could we see this one coming? Yes. we could.
- It would be cooler if Giant took a bong to the ring instead of a cigarette.
- Goldberg spears Vincent, and a double spear on Brian Adams and The Disciple
- Hmm, Greene/Goldberg tag match for the next PPV?
- Yup, Bash at the Beach: Hennig/Giant vs Goldberg/Greene
- This Nitro concludes with the pre-recorded Goldberg chant
- Sorry about the weak report this week. There was mass confusion around the pad. We had a party and Chan got out of hand. He took a Hulk Hogan doll and spray painted CCM on the back of it. First he tried varnish, not realizing it wasn't red paint. Then a mouse ran through the basement and Chan actually got a group together to spray paint it! Then he had me come in and do a somersault plancha onto the doll (on a mattress he pulled out). It was raining, so Chan powerbombed the doll off the house and into a tree. Then he and Joyce took the wet wrestling buddy (it was raining) to the Krispy Kreme and carried him in as a crowd watched. While Chan bought the doughnuts, Joyce tied the doll on the back of his truck and they drove around with Hogan on the back of the truck. We then had a contest to see who could kick Hogan the hardest on the back of the truck. Unfortunately, there are now dents in the back of Chan's truck but hey we kicked Hogan's @$$! The realizing what a good idea he had found, he took the varnish outside and blinded Hogan. Next Monday, Charlie's Sting wrestling buddy, still recovering from an injury sustained at the last party (his arm was ripped off when Chan stuck him in the ceiling fan and had him propel on Hogan), will wrestle Hogan in a blindfold match. Chan then decided to play Brave Heart with a series of paper cups as we had run out. The cups flew all over the room as he made an idiot of himself. The most amazing thing is that we had no alcohol at all.
- On a melancholy note, this is our last official column. In a fitting tribute, we put nothing of any possible use, no match commentaries, no nothing in this report. That's as it should be. In effect, this was like every other report we did.
- We would like to thank Bill for giving us the opportunity to fill this spot. After all we were just {Pro} reporters, men of average typing skills, average computer skills, average vocabulary, average command of the English question, way below average HTML skills, way way below average HTML skills and average carpentry skills.
- Glacier: Insert your own joke.
- We each have closing comments:
- Chan: What the hell ever happened to Eric Ehrhardt? If you know the answer, or even understand the question, e-mail Chan..
- Matt: Even though Matt has never actually typed anything and this is the first time he's been here (though his comments are always used) he would like to ask: Remember the WCW for straight up Nintendo circa 1989? How do you beat the huge-@$$ bad guy at the end? This has haunted him for 10 freaking years. Also, the big guy's he's 7-4, 515...think they could have been foreshadowing the Giant? Also, if you jimmy with all of those numbers you get 6. Coincidence? We think not or should we say "Oh, Hell, No!" If you now how to beat the guy, e-mail Chan.
- Charlie: My package is not a small package .