WCW/nWo Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98

WCW/nWo Bash at the Beach, Sunday, 7/12/98

By Big Mike

Howdy everyone, once again. I am Big Mike, fresh from the Willie Nelson Fourth of July Picnic in Luckenbach, Texas, and it's time for Bash at the Beach. Let's see what they make of our star-studded main event. This would be an opportune time for a kick a** show, as there should be many non-wrestling fans watching tonight. I don't know how they are going to even come close to the WWF King of the Ring show though. That show was simply amazing. It looked like they were going for the jugular with Goldberg taking the strap on Monday, but it still didn't have the same effect as Mick Foley dropping twenty feet onto a table (pre-broken or not).
I don't usually put mail I get in the report, but I just had to share this one with y'all from a man who I sent my review of the Von Erichs: Front Row Ringside video to:

Hi Mike,
Thanks for your support and interest. It's people like you that gave me the inspiration to create this web site.
I was very impressed by your review and by copy of this note, am requesting our webmaster to include a link to it from the Video Product page. If this is a problem, please drop them a note at webmaster@vonerich.com and ask them to remove the link. Thanks for your consideration.
I'm in the process of releasing a series of best of WCCW tapes including a couple of tribute videos backed by music.
Once again, thanks for your interest and stay tuned in. There's a lot of great things to come.
Kevin Adkisson (Von Erich)
You can imagine how excited I was when I realized that one of my all-time wrestling heroes had sent me an email thanking me for the piece about his family! Thanks for the forum, Bill.
Contrary to popular belief, I do not consider myself a total wrestling nut. I do not think about it all the time. I do have a job and a life. Wrestling is just sort of a hobby. So imagine my horror when I actually had a dream about wrestling the other night. I dreamed that Arn Anderson "invaded" Nitro and said he was going to start a new type of wrestling division. He said it was something Ted Turner, Eric Bischoff, or WCW had never heard of. It was going consist of teams of two wrestlers wrestling exclusively as a team against other teams of two wrestlers. He said it would be called a "tag team" division, because the wrestlers on a team would tag in and out. The Enforcer said he would establish World "Tag Team" Titles that two men would defend against two other men who wrestled regularly as a team. The Enforcer said he would start this division "whether Turner liked it or not." Schiavone and the other announcers were stunned. Schiavone called it "the biggest announcement in the history of our sport." Pretty scary dream, huh?
A surprising Nitro to say the least, as far as what we saw, and what we did not see. I was watching with a friend of mine who never watches wrestling. He was watching because he had seen Goldberg and thought Goldberg was awesome. His first comment came twenty minutes into the show, when he noted that there had been no wrestling yet. He said, "How can anyone stand listening to Hulk Hogan and Mean Gene without any wrestling?" I said I didn't know. He also got me on the last match. He kept saying he wanted Goldberg to win, and I kept saying that they would never let Goldberg win because, 1) it was Hogan, 2) they would never let him have both the U.S. and World straps, and 3) he hasn't been around long enough. Oh well, there goes my theory out the window. On the other hand, we did not see the return of Ric Flair or the Ultimate Warrior, as some had predicted. I really doubt we will see Ric Flair in the WCW again as long as Eric Bischoff is around based on some interviews Flair has given to legitimate newspapers. As far as the Ultimate Warrior goes, I really don't know.
OK, enough pre-show comments. Now, with a cold Lone Star beer in hand, on to the show, finally............

We start with a montage of the new champion, Goldberg and Kevin Greene. They also show Rodman (I will not call him Rodzilla no matter how much they cram it down our throats), Malone, DDP, and the former champion, Hogan. Man, it feels good to say that!
We are live from the Cox Arena in San Diego, California.
Tony "Greatest Match in the History of Wrestling" Schiavone, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, and "Iron" Mike Tenay commentating. Ewwww, the trio are all in loud (and I mean loud!) Hawaiian shirts. I bet Schiavone has khaki shorts with loafers and black socks pulled up to his knees underneath. He looks like that type.
Well, looks like satellite problems. My reception is very fuzzy tonight. They say they can't fix it. I can still watch it, but hmmmmmmm, looks like maybe a free PPV tonight!
Scheme Gene comes on wearing a white tux straight out of Casablanca. He looks like a waiter. Yes Gene, I would like a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich. Wow, the hotline ads start early tonight.
Raven vs. Saturn.
- I would think we are going to see some Kanyon involvement tonight.
- Raven comes out with the Flock of course
- Raven's rules and we start outside the ring with Saturn throwing Raven around into the rails and everywhere else
- Into the ring, and Saturn is in control with a gutwrench suplex. Saturn is actually in wrestling tights tonight to "distance himself from the Flock."
- Lodi has a Hawaiian shirt and a sweet Panama Jack-ish hat.
- Raven pulls out a table and begins to open it up and Tony says, "Raven pulls a chair out!" Heenan corrects him and says at Tony's house they must eat off chairs.
- They go back in the ring. The table has not been used.
- Oooh. Raven pulls Saturn into a Russian leg sweep into the safety rail outside.
- Raven gets Saturn in a sleeper. Saturn uses a jawbreaker to get out.
- Saturn gets a chair (sure it's not a table, Tony?) and pops Raven. He then does a leg drop off the top rope onto the chair, which is on Raven's face.
- Saturn sets the chair up and Riggs and Lodi come in. Saturn takes them out with a double suplex and then accidentally takes out referee Nick Patrick with a kick meant for Raven.
- Saturn pulls out another table to put near the first one. Schiavone: "There just happens to be another table there." Amazing how "international objects" always seem to be so handy, isn't it Tony?
- Saturn puts Raven on the table and then stacks the second table above Raven. About ten seconds before Saturn jumps, Kanyon comes in and pulls Raven off. Ten seconds later, after Saturn sees this, he still jumps through the table. OK, yeah, that's believable.
- Kanyon takes Raven into the ring and raises his hand and does a Flatliner to Raven into the chair.
- Riggs comes in and rolls Raven on top of Saturn. Saturn kicks out!
- As Saturn is gaining the advantage, Riggs comes in and gets a Spicoli Driver for his trouble. Raven then catches Saturn with the Evenflow DDT and a pin for the win.
- Pretty good first match.
Gene "Play it Again Sam" Okerlund is out to interview Eddie Guerrero. Eddie has the usual "Chavo is crazy" spiel. He goes on a while about how he is going to win, etcetera. He says Chavo has to wrestle Stevie Ray first and all he will have to do is hit the Frog Splash for the win after Stevie Ray gets done with Chavo. He does get in the phrase "San Diego morons" to draw a little heat.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman
- This would be a WCW {Pro} main event.
- OK, I am going to miss part of this match, sorry. I already need a break. This is bad. The seal is broken in the second match.
- OK, I'm back, sorry about that folks.
- Looks like some high flying going on here.
- Kidman is going off the apron and misses, right into the safety rail next to Dave Penzer.
- "Lodi sucks" chant starts during this match. Where'd that come from?
- Kidman hits an awesome sidewalk slam or spinebuster type move off the top rope.
- Surprisingly, Juvy not showing much offense during the match.
- Juvy hits the hurricanrana after as Kidman is sitting on the top rope after getting caught in the ol' Nutcracker Suite.
- Juventud picks him up for the Juvy Driver and gets it. Two count only though.
- Kidman sets Juvy up for he Seven-Year Itch and comes up empty.
- Now Juvy goes up for the 450 splash, hits it, and it's all over but the cryin'. Juvi gets the pin.
- The Flock has had a couple of good showings so far tonight. That was a pretty good match as well. Lots of high risk moves.
We see Madden with K-Dog at the Internet site. He compares the ups and downs of the nWo to the hydraulics on a low rider! He's not promoting stereotypes or anything! Konnan is pretty funny here, and even compliments Madden on his Hawaiian shirt. Heenan says it looks like Madden spilled a fruit salad on his shirt.
Stevie Ray vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
- Chavo comes to the ring with a Super Soaker and a goofy looking floatie ring.
- Eddie comes out with scissors. Apparently the hair vs. hair match will be right after this. Chavo dedicates the match to "his favorite wrestler, Eddie Guerrero."
- Chavo is playing the goofball role up pretty good.
- Referee Scott Dickinson calls for the bell as Stevie Ray and Chavo shake hands. What? Chavo submitted to a hand shake!!!! That is awesome! Hey, that was actually decent booking there. I would love to see Hogan submit to a hand shake.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. in a hair vs. hair match
- We go right into the hair vs. hair match. That was a great setup.
- Eddie must have said, "Bite my a$$," because that's what Chavo is doing
- Chavo throws Eddie over and Eddie hugs referee Charles Robinson as Chavo is biting Eddie's a$$ again.
- Brain asks Schiavone if he has ever been bitten in the butt. Tenay: "Come clean, Tony, this is a pay per view. Hey, Tenay made a funny!
- The two are now outside the ring, and some schmoe in the crowd points at his chin as Eddie comes over as if to say, "Give me your best shot." He deserves to be hit.
- Eddie has Chavo in a rack like submission move that Tenay says was made famous by Eddie's father, Gory Guerrero.
- Tenay says that Eddie and his late tag partner, "The Love Machine" Art Barr lost a hair vs. hair match a few years back.
- Chavo gives Eddie a tilt-a-whirl suplex and Chavo sells his back being hurt.
- Chavo suplexes Eddie onto the exposed concrete.
- Healthy "Eddie sucks" Chant going in San Diego.
- Chavo goes onto the top rope and Eddie shakes the ropes for the nutcracker again.
- Superplex by Eddie and both mean are down.
- Chavo goes for the Frog Splash and Eddie gets his knee up.
- Eddie his a tornado DDT and goes for the scissors, but he has not won yet. Charle Robinson takes them away. Brain: "I smell a trip to Floyd's!" Eddie then goes for the frog splash and misses. Chavo goes for the scissors and as Charles Robinson is taking them away, Eddie rolls Chavo up in a small package for the 1-2-3.
- Eddie has the clippers and a chair, but Chavo takes them away and starts shaving his own head. Eddie leaves after Chavo gives himself a racing stripe. Chavo only cuts some of his hair. He looks like me when I was six and got gum in my hair and tried to cut it out myself! Chavo finally finishes the job.
Konnan vs. Disco Inferno
- This is a special unadvertised match.
- Disco Inferno is announced as being formerly of Brooklyn, N.Y., but now of Funkytown.
- Alex Wright comes out with the Inferno and he and Disco get on the mic and start jabbering away. They say they are going to dance, hit the music, but the Wolfpack music comes on.
- Konnan comes out with Luger and Nash.
- Nash gets on the mic to deliver a spiel of his own to a huge pop.
- A little fighting and Wright tries to interfere, he gets racked for his troubles.
- As the ref is distracted, Nash comes in and powerbombs Disco Inferno. It is academic as Konnan puts Disco in a Tequila Sunrise for the submission.
- Short match.
"Big Smoky" the Giant defeats Kevin Greene with the Chokeslam.
- Greene comes out with the black stuff under his eyes. Penzer announces Greene as "the Mean Machine." No "Mean Machine" chants, though. Those are saved for Burt Reynolds (chant from the movie "The Longest Yard" for those who don't know).
- Surely, Greene won't be worked too much with training camp coming up.
- Lots of nothing going on here. Giant gets Greene down and gives him an elbow drop.
- "Goldberg" chants from the crowd (or is it Memorex)?
- I don't think Greene is ready to carry a match that isn't a tag match. Not much wrestling going on at all here.
- Schiavone states that Greene has more sacks than Lawrence Taylor. Really?
- Greene actually hits a soup bone (five arm) off the the top rope, but only gets the two count. He then begins working on the knee.
- Giant is really sinking down in this match to compete on Greene's level. Sad.
- Greene goes from the three-point stance and runs right into the Chokeslam! It's all over, and not a moment too soon. That was a pretty bad match.
Backstage at the Internet location with Madden and Hennig. Usual "I'm gonna end the unbeaten streak" smack. Sorry, Curt, I don't see it happening.
Rehash of the Jericho-Malenko situation and why we are not going to have a match between them tonight.
WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Chris Jericho defends against ????????
- Jericho comes out with a top hat and cane. Jericho says he is going to do a little softshoe routine, but is interrupted by "Joe Joe" Dillon. Joe Joe says maybe he made a mistake in judging Jericho. Dillon says he has a competitor who hasn't wrestled in six months. Jericho: "Is it a local guy, an independent, a jabrone." Jericho says he wants a no-DQ match with this "jobber." He says Jericho equals buy rate. Of course, Mysterio's music starts playing and out he comes.
- Mysterio comes in like a house a-fire.
- Mysterio looks built up and heavier than before, and no it's not Malenko under the mask. Mysterio looks pretty good.
- Jericho goes to the knee and Mysterio sells the bad knee.
- They are going to the back and the beach set.
- Mysterio comes off the lifeguard stand for the hurricanrana onto the sand. Mysterio then throws some sand into Jericho's eyes. They go back to the ring. Mysterio goes with a cross body block and Jericho rolls him over. He only gets a two count.
- Power slam off the top rope by Jericho. Jericho then brings a chair in and takes it to Mysterio's knee. He then sets the chairs up on Mysterio's knee, and misses off the top rope.
- Jericho then takes the chair to Jericho's knee. He drop kicks the chair into Jericho's knee.
- Mysterio goes up for the springboard hurricanrana and misses right into a Liontamer attempt, but Mysterio gets to the ropes. Here comes Malenko. Jericho is distracted and Mysterio gets the 1-2-3 to become the new cruiserweight champ!
- Jericho tries to go to the back, but is held up by Arn Anderson so Malenko can get to him!! I always said that Malenko would make a good Horseman. Malenko, Benoit, McMichael, and Flair would be great.
Promo for Road Wild with Travis Tritt, who will be performing live there.
WCW World Television Champion Booker T defends against "Hitman" Bret Hart
- Hart comes out by himself. Looks like he has been relegated to a mid-carder role.
- We could see a Stevie Ray nWo turn tonight.
- Slow match as the two go outside and Hitman works Booker T over.
- Hart dumps the steps over and slams Booker T into the ring post.
- Backbreaker by Hart and Hart goes up on top for the bionic elbow and only gets a two.
- Bret Hart acknowledges the fans to draw some heat.
- Booker T his the sidekick and is favoring his right knee. He then goes for the axe kick and hits it. Booker T then hits the pancake suplex and then catches Hart with missile drop kick. Hart gets his foot on the rope.
- Ouch! Hart is outside and catches Booker T with the chair as he is flying over the top. DQ time, but Hart goes to work on Booker T's knee with the chair.
- Now he is going for the famous figure four wrapped around the ring post.
- Booker T must need some time off.
- Bret releases as Stevie Ray walks out. He is just looking disgusted at Booker T.
- Stevie Ray is just standing over his brother and finally pulls him out of the ring as the doctor comes out. Stevie Ray refuses to let the doctor see Booker T.
We now have a special look of the events that led to Goldberg winning the world title
WCW World and U.S. Heavyweight Champion Goldberg defends against Curt "I'm not perfect anymore!" Hennig
- Michael Buffer on hand to announce the final two matches. Hey, he's got a waiter tux on too!
- Hennig comes out first, alone.
- Well, Hennig jobbed to him in L.A. last night. Let's make it two in a row.
- The Goldberg chant comes on, but no one is moving their lips. How lame.
- Goldberg comes out to the usual pop. How does he stand in the middle of all that pyrotechnic stuff? You know that's gotta be hot.
- Buffer announces Goldberg as the "nWo/WCW Heavyweight Champion of the World." Is that what the belt says now?
- Tenay says Goldberg head-butts a steel locker before every match a la "Three O' Clock High." He probably doesn't knock himself unconscious though.
- Fifty minutes left in the PPV and only the main event to come. Goldberg may have to go some tonight unless that last match is going to be a marathon.
- Powerslam by Goldberg, but then Hennig gets up and begins working on Goldberg's left knee and ankle.
- Goldberg sells a clothesline that goes over his head. Hennig hits the Fisherman's Suplex, but Goldberg kicks out.
- Goldberg pops up and hits a clothesline. Spear by Goldberg to set up you know what. Jackhammer. It's all over. Looks like a long, final match.
Rumor has it that Hogan jobbed the title to Goldberg with the stipulation that he would be the first man to beat Goldberg sometimes in the future
Montage of the events leading up to the basketball-wrestling main event. They do show that stupid 18-wheeler bit they tried to put over on us.
Here's Buffer again.
"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman vs. Diamond Dallas Page and "The Mailman" Karl Malone
- Hogan and Rodman come out to "Voodoo Child." I never imagined that a Jimi Hendrix song could be misused so badly. They have the Booty Disciple with them.
- Man, there are a lot of photographers around the ring.
- DDP comes out by himself first, and it looks like Malone has his own entrance music, and it's a rap rip-off of "Bad to the Bone." Hey, Malone stole "Gorgeous" Gino Hernandez's entrance music, sort of.
- Hogan and Rodman are jacking around outside the ring. We've still got 35 minutes left, I guess we have to kill some time.
- Looks like it will be Malone and Rodman to start. Interesting.
- Maybe Malone could jerk Rodman around by all those earrings.
- Lots more jacking around. Rodman is being pretty evasive. Goldberg won too quickly, I guess.
- They finally lock up after about five minutes, and Rodman bails out. This is terrible, even for a match involving Hogan.
- After doing absolutely nothing, Rodman tags in Hogan.
- Hogan asks for the test of strength. Have I said how much this match sucks so far yet?
- Finally they lock up. I guess Malone has Hogan in sort of a headlock. Body slam by Malone and the crowd cheers as if the Padres just won the World Series.
- After one move by Malone, he tags DDP in.
- Hogan proceeds to tag Rodman in. Wow, I can't believe this. The announcers don't really know what to say.
- Finally, the "Boring" chants start in the crowd. It's about time. Rodman flips the crowd off. Nice.
- Arm drag by Rodman, and Brain acts like it's the first time he's ever seen that.
- This actually looks like a {Pro} main event, too.
- Rodman with a flurry of screwed up moves, after which the crowd boos.
- DDP tags Malone in, and Rodman tags Hogan in.
- Referee's stance, which could be a submission move in this match.
- Rodman comes in with the double ax handle as referee Charles Robinson is distracted.
- Body slam and a couple of elbows by Hogan. Hogan tags Rodman in.
- Rodman gives Malone, who is inexplicably laid out, a couple of elbow drops.
- Hogan and Rodman double-team Malone, and Hogan tags in and gets the advantage on Malone.
- Rodman is holding Malone and Hogan hits Malone and knocks Rodman back as well. Ha ha!
- Malone finally makes the hot tag and Page goes to work on both Hogan and Rodman. Hogan throws Page into Rodman and Page goes down.
- Hogan takes the belt off and goes to work on Page.
- Rodman is tagged in and they give a double clothesline to Page, but Rodman goes back to the corner and Hogan stays in. That was weird. That's twice Rodman was tagged and stayed out after the double team.
- Rodman is tagged in and Page gets the big boot from them both. Rodman heads back to the corner, and Hogan has to tag him again! Awful. Rodman just brings Malone back to the corner and tags Hogan back in. It is obvious Rodman doesn't want to be in the ring.
- Suplex by Hogan, and a two count.
- DDP comes alive and goes for the tag, but Hogan holds him back and tags Rodman in.
- Rodman has the front headlock on for about the hundredth time in the match. Hogan distracts the ref so he can't see the tag by DDP and the double team begins. As the ref is turned away, Hogan comes in (without a tag) and the ref allows it.
- Hogan goes for the leg drop and misses. DDP gets the hot tag to Malone, who clotheslines Hogan twice and then Rodman. He then body slams the both of them.
- Uh-oh. We got a double coconut by Malone, slamming their heads together. If I ever got the chance to wrestle, I would want to do that move too. Seriously.
- Malone gives the Diamond Cutter sign and tags in DDP. DDP rolls Hogan into the ropes and there is the Diamond Cutter! Rodman comes in to break it up and gets a Diamond Cutter from Malone! As the ref goes to Malone, the Booty Disciple comes in and takes out DDP. He rolls Hogan on top of DDP for the pin. I knew Hogan wouldn't job twice in one week. Malone sees Disciple and gives him a Diamond Cutter! Malone tries to get Charles Robinson to raise his hand for the win, but he won't so Charles Robinson gets a Diamond Cutter from Malone for his trouble!
- Hogan and Rodman are shown celebrating with the rest of nWo Hollywood.
- More commentary from Brain, Tenay, and Schiavone, as we end the PPV.
What a terrible end to a PPV that began so well. The Goldberg match had no work, and the final tag match was just bad, except for the end, when Malone put the Diamond Cutter on everyone and their brother. The Greene-Giant match was pretty bad as well. I thought the first match between Raven and Saturn was actually the best.
Well, adios everyone, I am Big Mike, and remember, as Robert Earl Keen says, "The road goes on forever, and the party never ends."

Tom B. from Tustin, CA sends this arena report:

I was at the Bash yesterday, so I thought I'd share a couple of observations. This was only my second live event, so my apologies for any naivety on my part, but here's what I thought...
Let's see... the wrestler's entrance was visible from the arena entrance, and it was terribly crowded with people trying to get a glimpse of just about anyone. Not much to see, although I did see Rey Mysterio Jr. sans mask, although it was to far away to really see what he looked like. DDP walked by and gave us all the Diamond Cutter sign. Well, he is "the people's champion."
The highlight of the afternoon actually came before the show even started. The start time was announced as 3:30 (Pacific Daylight Time), but there was nothing going on for quite some time. A girl with floor seats and a skimpy outfit (kinda looked like a wanna-be Nitro girl) stood up and started shaking her moneymaker, holding a sign over her head which read "Tanya," with an arrow pointing down. BIG pop for her. Then came the obligatory "Take it off!" chants. To everyone's delight and astonishment, off came her shirt, revealing a black bra. Not bad. As if that weren't enough, then, down came the shorts, revealing a nice black thong (I was lucky enough to be directly on-axis with her backside) Pretty impressive, I must say. Huge pop. Penzer comes out and opens with "Now how can I follow that?" Big laugh.
I had always wondered about that freaked-out mascot thing you sometimes see on TV, but never really hear about. Turns out it's Wild Cat Willie (WCW, get it?) anyway, he comes out and jumps around a little but, to absolutely NO reaction. Whatever. At least now I know what I've been missing.
Dark match was a four man lucha-libre match between Damien and Ciclope vs. some unidentified Mexicans with old-school El Santo type masks on. Couldn't hear their names, but it was something like "El Something-O's" They won a very lame match.
Other than that, the TV report was pretty much accurate, with one notable exception: the Goldberg chants. I was as skeptical as the next guy when they started popping up at every show since Detroit, but I can assure you, the ones last night were real. Not only are they incredibly easy to start, they were happening ALL DAY, regardless of what was going on. Kinda annoying if you're not a Golberg mark (but who isn't, right?)
All in all, kind of a letdown, considering WCW only comes to Southern California once a year. I actually had a better time at a WWF house show a couple of months back. I will be at RAW IS WAR on the 27^th of this month also. Hopefully it will be better.

WCW/nWo Bash at the Beach, Sunday, 7/12/98

By Big Mike

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