WCW {Pro} - Sunday, 09/27/1998
WCW {Pro} - Sunday, 09/27/1998
- One quick mail before we go into the rest of this report:
- Roadkill of EKO has a comment about my favorite announcer (Cough!):
- I think that Scott Hudson went on a few blind dates with woman that
don't bathe in his day.
- Well I think the musical group Cornershop said it best on one
of their songs, Brimful of Asha: "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow."
No matter how raunchy said bosom would be, Hudson could use one too.
For the record, mine's on the 45.
- My apologies, my Lame Joke Sensor should have gone off, but I forgot
to plug it in. I'll remember for next time. :)
- Al Isaacs of Scoops reported that "Gorgeous" Jimmy Garvin celebrated
a birthday on Friday. Back in the day when I first started watching wrestling,
I kind of dug him, even though his valet Precious was quite hard to look at
without wincing. If anyone has any idea where Garvin or Fido, err Precious,
would be, please let me know.
Thanks.
- Some of the newsboards have reported Vincent battling Konnan at various
house shows. But, the thing that amazed is that an interview The Most Useless
Man In Wrestling (Thanks,
Wade.) did on last week's {Pro} set up heat to this matchup. Who says
the {Pro} doesn't impact current angles? :)
- On a sad non-wrestling related note, my condolences to the family of
Florence Griffith-Joyner, who passed away earlier this week. Track and field
was a sport I used to watch when I wasn't watching wrestling, and the hearing
of her passing shocked me. She was truly a revolutionary figure in women's
track.
- One last side note... best wishes to Jim Duggan on his recovery. I
never liked his gimmick, but he truly loved the business and the fans.
- The {Pro} begins with Ric Flair coming out on Nitro.
- Whoa! Tony Schiavone is covering for Scott Hudson! Well, it's a step up....
- They go over Fall Brawl.
- Even weeks after Fall Brawl, it pains me to see Norman Smiley put Ernest Miller over.
- They talk about Quasi-juice Skalerra losing his Cruiserweight belt to Kidman among other things.
- Lee Marshall interviews "Wrestling's Man of Honor," Saturn.
- Lee talks about Saturn freeing The Flock.
- Saturn wants nothing in return from The Flock; that's behind him.
- Saturn spent his time focused helping Raven, but now he's gonna' move up the ladder. Good luck in trying to overcome Hogan's ego, Perry.
- They talk about Flair's return to WCW.
- From Nitro (09/14/1998): A montage of footage leading to Flair's return.
- What bitches. They cut it off right as Flair was about to speak.
- Starburst Road Report -- Rochester, NY will house this Monday's Nyquil, err, Nitro.
- They talk about Bagwell's feigned injury at Fall Brawl.
- {Pro} Exclusive #1: Vincent vs. The Gambler.
- The announcers compare The Gambler to a "policeman-type wrestler." Hey, what Police Academy movie are we comparing this to? :)
- Good Lord, Vincent's gonna win a match. So this is what Chinese water torture feels like.
- They say Vincent can put on a mean armbar.
- Speaking of which, when will Barry Darsow make an appearance? His Barely Legal submission sucks, but I like his trash-talking gimmick.
- Gambler attacks Vincent at the bell, knocking him outside.
- Gambler has control for a few seconds, but Vincent sends Gambler into the turnbuckle pole twice.
- As Gambler returns to the ring, Vincent climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits a double sledgehammer.
- Gambler regains control with punches, kicks, and headthrusts until Vincent lands an elbow.
- Vincent goes to the second turnbuckle and drops a fist.
- Vincent attempts a pinfall -- One-count.
- This match is really sad, even by {Pro}'s standards.
- Vincent applies a spinning neckbreaker followed by a reverse chinlock.
- Gambler with a back elbow, but all for naught as Vincent gets a lariat.
- Vincent applies a single-arm DDT.
- Vincent gets The Gambler in an armbar-type hold and makes him submit.
- YOUR WINNER: Vincent with an armbar submission in 2:20.
- Oh, man, just when I thought it couldn't get worse...
- This has nothing to do with wrestling, but I have to put up with this weekly. For weeks, there has been this chat line commercial that shows good looking women dancing to some corny song. At opportune times, these ladies sing, "Pick up the phoooone!!" I mean, I know these things are supposed to be tacky, but my Suck-O-Meter redlines when this comes on.
- Back to the {Pro}... they call Eric Bischoff the "Master of the Swerve."
- Didn't they call Curt Hennig this months ago? Or, does Bischoff have to steal Hennig's heat as well?
- From Thunder (09/17/1998): Mark "Buff" Bagwell defeats Arn Anderson in an arm-wrestling match.
- A comparison, if you weeeeell. The 80's incarnations of the Horsemen would have taken it to Buff and Eric, demolishing them in a four or five-on-one attack. This year's Horsemen: Dean Malenko just stands there as Buff makes an ass out of Arn. Pa-thetic.
- This Week In WCW Motorsports.
- Oh, who cares? Jeff Gordon has the championship all but locked.
- By the way, they mention the WCW-Sting monster truck but do not report its finish. Maybe they don't get enough points for last. :)
- Lee Marshall interviews Kanyon.
- Lee asks Kanyon why he sticks with Raven.
- Kanyone asks who Sick Boy, Horace, and Kidman were before Raven.
- Kanyon said it was his choice to join Raven.
- Lee asks Kanyon if a tag team could form. Uhh, Lee, this is WCW.
- Kanyon finishes this off by saying he is simply the best. Probably the only true statement of this segment.
- They talk about Hogan being scared of the Warrior.
- {Pro} Exclusive #2: Roadblock vs. Van "Sammy who?" Hammer.
- OhmyGod! It's Roadblock! I miss his barricade.
- Why is Van Hammer still employed?
- I can smell the sucking enaminating from the ring even from my apartment.
- Van Hammer starts by getting the crowd going. Might as well, otherwise they'd fall asleep from this oh-so-meaningful match that I'm sure the WCW Executive Committee is watching as I write this.
- Roadblock answers with some punches.
- Roadblock whips Hammer into the ropes, applies a short bearhug, and turns it into a belly-to-belly suplex.
- Roadblock goes for the elbowdrop, but Hammer moves out of the way.
- Hammer kicks Roadblock in the stomach.
- Hammer is working Roadblock over in the corner.
- Sigh....
- Roadblocks reverses a whip, grabs Hammer's hand as he goes airborne, and drops him.
- Roadblock bodyslams Hammer.
- Roadblock: "Shut up!"
- Roadblock whips Hammer, but both participants end up clotheslining each other.
- The requisite "Both Men Are Down and The Ref Counts To Ten" spot.
- Hammer regains control with a kick, followed by a whip and flying shoulderblock.
- Hammer hits something that looks like a standing spinebuster for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Van Hammer by standing spinebuster in 2:47.
- The crack announcing team makes the claim that Van Hammer has found success after leaving Raven. Oh, please, this is friggin' Roadblock that lost.
- Commercial for "Red Hot California Girls."
- Riiiight. "(Riiing)...Hey, wanna wraaaassle? (Spit)...(Ding!)"
- From Nitro (09/14/1998): Goldberg defeats Sting with the Jackhammer after Hogan interfered and kicked Sting.
- Okay, a kick to the head puts Sting out. Suuuure.
- Bret Hart comes in after the match to turn face for the 3,762nd time.
- And with this, along with some mindless blabbering by Tony and The Legend, another edition of the {Pro} comes to an end. See you next week!