WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 10/12/98

Go straight to the Nitro report

• A veritable treasure trove of fun in the mailbag this week:

  • drather writes in with a long, but hilarious, nightmare:

    One night, late after eating too many Pepperoni Pizza Combos and drinking too much Schlitz beer, my nightmare was horribly frightening. Here's what happened:

    The special four-hour Nitro kicked off with Scott Hall being taken to the emergency room, having his stomach pumped while using Jack Daniels as painkiller. Kevin Nash, disguised as a doctor, performed "emergency surgery" and finished off Hall's lobotomy.

    The Nitro fireworks brought on the only saving grace of WCW; those jiggly little vixens known as the Nitro Girls. At the end of their dance routine, the Nitro Girls subbed a speech instead of all their little personalized hand signs that thanked Eric Bischoff for renewing their contract. Because if they worked for the WWF, the Nitro Girls would have already put out three XXX videos (Not that I would mind....).

    As the camera opened to the announcer's booth, Larry Zybszko got up to acknowledge the fans and fell off the stage. Tony Schiavone cursed Larry out because Larry was a wrestler and should be more coordinated. Mike Tenay called the move a "Tehicuazal Splash", which the ancient Aztecs used to do after finding that their whole family had been sacrificed.

    The curtain - jerker was none other than the Nemesis of Jobberberg (or Goldberg, or Greenberg), Jerry Flynn. Jerry was beaten by Fit Finlay, who left $20 in an envelope for two guys named McMichael and Callous to split up for use of their finisher.

    The camera pans back to the locker room to show Horace Boulder confronting Uncle Terry Boulder about the male pattern baldness that runs in the family. nWo Hollywood promptly lays Boulder out cold, much to Hogan's chagrin. Vincent tries to make everything better by offering Horace the drink of one Scott Hall.

    The fans are treated to a 30 minute highlight reel of the unintelligible garble of the "Warrior", who vows to perform one actual wrestling move before disappearing back to Arizona.

    Hogan come out to Voodoo Chile, playing his air guitar. He and Bischoff make out for a while, tell the fans they suck, then Hogan provides another 5 minute monologue on how he, "Wood", is just too sweet. The fans can't hear the last 3 minutes (thankfully), because Hogan loses his voice almost immediately.

    Hour Two is replaced by ads for Wolfpack, nWo Hollywood, Big Sexy Kevin Nash, and DDP apparel.

    The Nitro Girls dance around in the ring as hour number three approaches. Approximately half the fans are asleep, while the rest are watching the WWF on their pocket Sony TVs.

    Hour Three starts off with the Four Horsemen attempting to enter the United States. At Customs, Doug Dillenger and his crack security crew, along with the 5 guys who DIDN'T make the auditions for the "Jericho Personal Security Crew" stop, intimidate and force the Horsemen to leave. The galloping footfalls of their theme is replaced by a giant sucking sound. Bischoff comes to the ring and gloats about how his ratings have just sunk another point.

    Our second match of the night is Juventud Gurerra against Kidman. Kidman, the only champion to regularly defend his belt, wins after a ten-minute bout of high flying action. The real wrestling fans who have been waiting for this match cannot view the action because all the stupid marks were holding up their signs that say "6:32 - Twice the Man". After the bell, Scott Norton brings his IWGP championship belt down to ringside and promptly powerbombs both Juvi and Kidman through the trapdoor and on top of Curt Hennig, who was under the ring.

    Scott Norton stays out in the ring and Meng comes down to fight him for the "No - Sell Championship". The match is predictable see-saw, neither man getting hurt until Norton picks up Meng for the powerbomb. Meng locks in the Tongan Death Grip (with the help of Norton's hands). Meng is your winner in 1:32.

    The camera backstage shows a trophy case with such historical momentoes of NWA / WCW including the Texas Heavyweight Championship, the Light Heavyweight Championship, the Missouri Heavyweight Championship, the Texas Tag Team Championship and the World Tag Team Championship belts. Mike Tenay notes that the lock that holds the case shut is Japanese in origin, was forged by a master samurai who instructed Sonny Oono in the use of chopsticks, and is called a Hijjiiimakeiwarakashimen.

    Hour Four brings the Disciple to the ring. After a rambling diatribe, his opponent comes to the ring. Nick Dinsmore is locked into the Apocalypse in 1:50 and finally is pinned seven minutes later.

    The Wolfpack comes to the ring, makes a bunch of local references. Konnan will wrestle "the man most undeserving of all his camera time", Stevie Ray. Konnan apparently is on his usual game schedule, because Stevie Ray has memorized all the spots and appears to be asleep as Konnan locks in the entirely un-painful "Tequila Sunrise". This wakes Stevie Ray up; he signals Vincent, who applies the international slapjack, and they proceed to turn Konnan over to the INS, who have just gotten back from deporting the Four Horsemen to Bolivia.

    The first main event of the night pits Jobberberg against Wrath, who's been on a tear. The match is a bunch of blown moves and no-sells by Jobberberg to the vastly superior Wrath. The match degenerates to Wrath and Jobberberg reciting Shakespeare to the crowd. Unfortunately, this was missed by the referee. Since Jobberberg can actually speak, he lip-synchs his little destruction phrase and is declared the winner. Wrath breaks a ring-post over Jobberberg's head and kills him, but Jobberberg promptly no-sells and puts Wrath up in the JobberHammer. After the victory, Bobby Heenan notes that this is Wrath's first loss. Mike Tenay tries to bring up his losses with Mortis, but Tony sits on Mike and kills him. Mike tries to no-sell, but no one believes him and Mike dies.

    The second main event pits Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff against Aleksandr Karelin and Monica Lewinsky. Karelin immediately puts Hogan in his trademark reverse body lift as Monica wards off the would-be interference of Bischoff with her vaunted "Hoover Lower Abdomen Lip Claw". Nick Patrick fails to realize Hogan is pinned. Karelin gets tired and rolls out of the ring; only to be replaced by Terry Taylor. Hogan then showcases all his moves when he legdrops Taylor for the 1, 2, 3.

    Thankfully, Nitro goes off the air... but not before Tony declares that it was "the most memorable moment in our sport", "the most horrible, disgusting moment in our sport", "the greatest moment in the history of Nitro", and "the lowest point ever in our sport since the nWo showed up at Bash at the Beach." He would go further, but Dr. Harvey Schiller cuts his microphone cord.

    The End.

    I really can't add anything to this, other than the fact that I scared my cat from laughing so hard when I read it.

  • Continuing the hilarious email trend, Grimace writes:

    Well, I've had it.

    After the 8 or 9 promos for Halloween Havoc in the first hour of Nitro this week, I just had all I could take.

    Therefore, let this be notice that I have formed the "GWO", the Grimace World Order. Our organization stands for promo-less wrestling on our televisions. No PPV ads, no Gene Okerlund hotline plugs, no exceptions.

    Any time one of the above occurs on Monday Nitro, we have decided to turn our televisions to the A&E network, for either Biography or whatever happens to be on at the given moment. They are always educational (and promo free).

    Our organization means business, Wade, no bulls**t for us anymore. We are proud, We are strong, We are able.

    The members of this group consist of myself, my dog Zappa, and occasionally my wife, but you can count on a heel turn from her every 28 days or so.

    No promos, no hotlines, no way.

    We'll have T-shirts on sale soon. You'll be seeing our ads.

    "heel turn every 28 days or so!" I love it!!

  • MikeC calls me on:

    Love your reports (MUCH more entertaining than what you're reporting on), but Gangrel-and-WWF mark that I am, I couldn't let this one slide:

    On a side note, is there a more absurd gimmick in wrestling today than Gangrel? A wrestling vampire, who drinks blood before his matches.
    Riiiiiight. 
    

    How about a 'roided out hasbeen who gets paid stooooo-ped amounts of money to pop out of a trapdoor in the ringamid clouds of CO2 'steam' and try to sell that he has 'magical powers'?

    Or am I being too anti-WCW?....;-)

    I knew I shouldn't have talked smack about any other gimmick in wrestling the same week that Warrior is magically appearing in mirrors....

    OK! I admit it! Warrior is a big, bad, absurd, stinky (more on that later in the mailbag) joke! But I still think that the dime-store fangs and "blood" are pretty damn sad, too.

  • Don Espanol writes with the 4-1-1:

    I'm not too sure about this, but I think that the move Saturn did against Lizmark (you called it a vertical suplex into a michinoku driver) was called the Saturn bomb in ECW. I recall him using it against one of the Dudley boys. Its pretty much the same move that Hayabusa does (The Falcon Arrow).

    Someone, and I can't find it in my emails to give credit, sent me an animated GIF of Saturn performing the Saturn Bomb in ECW against the Dudleys. If you'd like to see it, and be warned that it's over 170Kb in size, click here.

  • Psyko Doug writes:

    Just some Nitro mail for ya. I was thinking with the nWo Wolfpac, nWo Hollywood, oWn, LWO, and WCW they could have a Rush week where rookie wrestlers could visit each group and decide which they want to join. And the funniest spot of the night was when the Wolfpac was leaving a bar and Konnan said, "Lets go check out the strip clubs." Nash then said, "No, Hall has been thrown out of every strip joint in the country." But then the kicker was when Konnan said, "Lets go anyway." We all know what K-Dawg was thinking about.

  • DDT Digest Medical Advisor Phil notes:

    I don't know whether you just didn't notice it or if you walked in in the middle of the segment, but when they started the sketch of the Wolfpac finding Hall in the hick bar, they began by showing Tenay driving up behind them. Unfortunately, it seems as though Tenay was sitting on the microphone and had a little chili before the show, and he apparently let out a rather loud fart before getting out of the car! That was so funny I didn't even notice the sham barroom brawl until it was half-over.

    The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind.

  • MJ Schlitz has a brush with jobberdom:

    I saw that Lenny Lane is your favorite jobber. I went to high school with Lenny. His real name is Lenny and he is from Duluth MN. Lenny is a really funny guy but he put on about 50 pounds of muscle in a year. He went to cop school for a few years and then he learned to wrestle in Minneapolis. He got introduced into wrestling in high school when we named all our intramural sport teams the Horseman. He also played baseball, football, and basketball. I still see him from time to time.

  • Jooker222 writes:

    Hey I just thought I'd let you and everyone else know that the music Kaz Hayashi came out to on Nitro was the same music Jushin Thunder Liger came out to at Starcade '96 when he beat Rey Mysterio Jr. I was bouncing off the walls think that Mr. Liger was going to come and beat some low card Lucha guy. Just though you'd like to know.

    The WCW music recycling program strikes again.

  • Clayton Lewis from This Week in WCW writes:

    As someone with a Spinal Cord Injury, I thought I might put in my two cents on the Buff angle. I'm not offended by the angle, but I do think it is in bad taste (just like the Hall angle). But with the turnaround(?) last week with Judy Bagwell coming out (which my mother loved, she asked me if it reminded her of anyone) I think they might actually be bringing an end to it. (I bet mothers the world over had big smiles when that bit aired.)

    It's weird, when Villano IV took that bump a couple of weeks ago I stated that I wouldn't put it past Vince to fake a neck injury, and look at what he did the following week (faked one with Severn), time will tell if I'm right about Goldberg/DDP at Havoc. Getting back to Vince, ever since Sgt. Slaughter as an Iraqi sympathizer I wouldn't put anything past him.

    With regards to Gangrel and the Vampire gimmick in TitanTown, I agree, that angle is cheesy. I just hope WCW doesn't go forward with the Vampiro gimmick. Wrestling vampires are just a little too cartoonish for my taste.

    Got a trivia question for you:

    Q: Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura taped a pilot for a series on ABC. ABC never picked up the show but for some reason they did air the pilot, what was it called?

    A: Tag Team. I think it was around the fall of '91 when they ran it. The storyline was a couple of pro-wrestlers who refused to "throw a match" and went on to become cops. I thought it would have made a good series but that's just me.

• Here's an idea - a Triple Threat match at Wrestlemania: "A Man's Man" Steve Regal vs. "A Woman's Man" Val Venis vs. "A Manly Woman" Chyna.

  I ought to be a booker, I tell ya.

• We see Eric Bischoff in the back telling a rent-a-cop to stop Ric Flair from getting in the building.
  • In the back, we see Doug Dillinger and about 20 police officers, and Bischoff telling the cops to stop Flair.

• We see Sting getting carted off on a stretcher after the Bret Hart beatdown from last week.

• And we're LIVE from the United Center in Chicago for WCW Monday Nitro!
  • The Nitro Girls come out to jiggle.
  • Zbyszko: "Like a bunch of manna from heaven."

• 30 seconds in, and we have our first Halloween Havoc promo
  • Also in the HH promo is a "Bride of Chucky" promo.

• Tony, Tenay, and Zbyszko are in the booth
  • Tonight: No-DQ Goldberg vs. Giant.
  • We take another look back at the Hart/Sting brawl from last week.
  • We also take a look at Hart's challenge on Thunder.

• We take a "not very special" look at the Hart heel turn.
  • The most recent one, that is.

• Why do I have an idea that this will be another 85%-promo show?

• Eleven minutes in, we get the normal Nitro opener.

• We take an incredibly un-special look at Thunder where Meng put the beatdown on Chris Adams.

• Match 1: Lodi vs. Wrath
  • Lodi comes to the ring
  • Lodi sign: "Shameless Plug - Jon Boy and Billy Roc"
  • Oh my. Lodi's gonna get killed. It's Wrath.
  • Also tonight: Hall, Stevie, Norton vs. Nash, Luger, and Konnan.
  • Lodi is wearing a Raven shirt.
  • Big "Lodi Sucks" chant.
  • Lodi holds a sign up, but gets leveled with a clothesline.
  • Wrath throws Lodi into the corner, and applies a beating.
  • Slow avalanche clothesline from the big man.
  • Big diving shoulderblock from a standing position from Wrath.
  • Wrath absolutely plants Lodi with the Meltdown, and gets the win.
  • Lodi's mother must be so proud - he ate his squash like a good boy.
  • Meng comes down to the top of the ramp.
  • Wrath and Meng run into each other in the aisle, but as they start to brawl...

• We take a look back last Monday at Bischoff, Arn, and Reid Flair, along with the Horsemen
  • Reid is referred to as "The Nature Kid."
  • Man, Benoit lays a decent ass-kicking on Adams.

• Snickers "On The Road" report with the fat tub of goo.

• An INCREDIBLY special look at Goldberg/DDP.

• Match 2: Kendall Windham vs. Dale Torborg
  • Oh my God. Kendall Windham vs. Dale Torborg, from The Pit Crew. Neither man gets an intro.
  • Windham with a big flying lariat.
  • The announcers talk about how much people at the Power Plant like Torborg.
  • Windham grabs Torborg's hair, and brings him to the floor.
  • Windham with an elbowdrop from the apron.
  • Torborg is wearing a NASCAR pit crew uniform.
  • Belly to back from Windham for two.
  • It's been all Windham so far, and the crowd is absolutely in RAPTURE.
  • Windham with a big boot.
  • Cubs Fan must be about ready to slit his wrists now.
  • Windham with the Counterfeit Chinlock.
  • Windham with a big knee to the gut, and the crowd has a LOUD "boring" chant.
  • Some kid in the front row has a Michael Meyers (from "Halloween") mask.
  • Torborg avoids two elbowdrops, and hits a clothesline.
  • Marginally nice dropkick from Torborg.
  • Torborg ducks for a backdrop, but Windham hits a swinging neckbreaker.
  • Windham goes for the Bulldog, but Torborg pushes him off.
  • Torborg then hits about the shittiest looking "Karate Kid" kick I've ever seen, and looks like he hurts his knee in the process.
  • Torborg rolls over and makes a pin with ONE HAND on Windham, and get the three count!
  • Post match, Torborg rolls around with his hurt knee.
  • I think that was the worst match I've seen in months.

• Shane from Black Hat Tattoo in Atlanta is our Nitro Party winner
  • Y'know what my motto is - the only thing better than a bunch of idiots on video is a bunch of TATTOOED idiots on video.

• We take a special look at Goldberg making the save for DDP against Raven, Lodi, and Kanyon
  • Kanyon sold the spear like $1,000,000.

• Sign: "Get well soon, Mark Curtis." Hear hear.

• Wolfpac music comes on, and I fear we've had our last match for this hour
  • Sting makes his way down the aisle.
  • Sting says that last week, he and Hart were beating themselves into submission out in the back.
  • Sting calls Hart out in "Chi-Town."
  • Sting also calls out Hogan, guaranteeing us at least a 15-minute Hogan interview.
  • Warrior comes down the aisle, and says "Hold it right there!"
  • Forget Cubs Fan, I'm going to slit my wrists.
  • Warrior praises Sting, and talks about their past together.
  • Warrior says that WCW is Sting's battleground, not his.
  • Warrior says that he will make a one-time request.
  • Someone in the crowd yells "Shut the [censored] up."
  • Warrior says that if Sting wants to call out the anti-heroes, Warrior demands that he stand beside Sting to fight.
  • The crowd goes mild.
  • Actually, the crowd was really on Warrior's case at the end. You could hear the boos pretty clearly, and I would assume that's in spite of efforts by the WCW sound engineers.

• We take THE MOST SPECIAL LOOK IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT at Goldberg/DDP.

• Hogan, Eric The Airplane, and Giant come out
  • Hogan takes some time to make out with his boss.
  • Eric, of course, has a mic.
  • Eric got nailed with a beer on the way to the ring, so says he's a "Coors Light" kind of guy, not "Miller Lite".
  • Hogan blathers about "the house that Hollywood build, Hollywood be the man, Wood rules wrestling, I'm the god of wrestling." Hell, that's a good number of his little catchphrases all in one sentence.
  • Hogan says Giant will take care of Goldberg.
  • Hogan talks about Sting and Warrior, and says "It would be a pleasure to take those two cartoon characters....." Pot, meet kettle.
  • Hogan accepts the challenge.
  • Hogan says that the "Ultimate . . . . encounter will take place tonight." Whoops! Almost slipped up and offended the copyright police.
  • This was just sad.

• A roadie tells Bischoff that the Horsemen are outside
  • Bischoff runs to the back.
  • We see a limo in the distance, with the security guys in a clump.
  • The limo pulls up, and Bischoff tells the security guys to "sic 'em."
  • Flair has the owner of the United Center with him.
  • The owner says the building belongs to the Horsemen, and the Horsemen will be in his skybox.
  • The woner tells Bischoff to stand aside, and the Horsemen go past the protesting Bischoff.
  • The security guards stand aside to let the Horsemen enter.
  • Dillinger tells Bischoff that the Horsemen have a corporate box. Bischoff says "I'll give you a corporate box." Sounds like what Sable would tell Vince McMahon.
  • Benoit, to Bischoff: "Yadda yadda yadda, talk to the hand." YES!!!
  • Bischoff is ranting, and then goes back into the United Center.

• We take a semi-special look at Hogan/Warrior.

• We're back with Hour Number Two.
  • I was right - two matches in the first hour.
  • They actually show the butt-absurd "Warrior in the mirror" thing from last week. The wacky thing was that they were playing it up that only Hogan could see it, when in reality the announcers and the people at home could see it, so it means that only BISCHOFF couldn't see him.
  • Either way, it sucked.

• We see the wacky Warrior interview from last Nitro.

• Match 3: Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright
  • Yes! Fit freakin' Finlay!!!
  • Finlay - the stiffest wrestler this side of Val Venis.
  • We see the end of the Bulldog-Wright match, with the double-pin.
  • His opponent - Alex Wright.
  • Wright gets the mic: "Achtung achtung!"
  • Wright gives his opinion on American intelligence.
  • He also gives his opinion on his place among European wrestlers.
  • Wright says that Finlay ended his father's career, so tonight Wright will end Finlay's.
  • Finlay attacks with the stiff forearm shots, sending Wright to the floor.
  • Finlay chokes Wright with Das Wunderjacket.
  • Finlay sends Wright back-first into the apron.
  • Back in the ring, Wright hits a sunset flip and bodyslam.
  • Finlay with a nice short-arm clothesline.
  • Finlay with a Hotshot from the fireman's carry position.
  • Wright avoids a Finlay corner charge, but Finlay slides to the apron.
  • Finlay floors Wright, but gets caught coming off the top.
  • Finlay gets a knee up on a Wright corner charge, and hits a big clothesline.
  • Wright with a HUGE hotshot on Finlay, and then rolls Finlay up.
  • Wright pulls the trunks and uses the ropes, and gets the win!
  • Bulldog comes out, and throws Wright back in the ring.
  • Bulldog and Finlay bounce Wright back and forth, and Wright leaves the ring.
  • Finlay then nails the Bulldog, and leaves.

• Tony threatens us with the rumored Hollywood star here tonight.

• Match 4: La Parka, Ciclope, and Villano V vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr., Psychosis, and Super Calo (w/Pepe)
  • Yes! The Chairman!
  • It's La Parka, Ciclope, and Villano V.
  • We see the Horsemen and some hot women in the luxury box.
  • The opponents: Chavo, Psychosis, and Super Calo! This is gonna rule!!!
  • Didja notice that the "lWo" is only recruiting unmasked lucha guys?
  • La Parka breaks out the La Parka Polka.
  • Parka with a huge clothesline on Calo.
  • Calo, though, takes out Parka and the Villano.
  • Calo ducks, allowing Parka to enziguiri the Villano.
  • Parka slips off the apron doing the Polka.
  • We're getting the train wreck spots already.
  • Chavo is the last guy out.
  • Calo and the Villano are back in the ring.
  • Nice powerslam from the Villano.
  • Psychosis hits the Guillotine Legdrop on Villano, but Parka comes in.
  • HUGE avalanche clothesline from Parka on Psychosis.
  • Another great powerslam by La Parka.
  • Chavo makes the save, and suplexes La Parka.
  • Ciclope with a spinebuster, and a Boston crab.
  • Psychosis breaks up Ciclope's Pendelum Swing.
  • Psychosis and Ciclope both go out.
  • The rudos work on the tecnicos.
  • Double-dive from the tecnicos.
  • Huge spinwheel kick from Ciclope on Psychosis.
  • Psychosis with a senton from the top onto Ciclope on the outside.
  • Eddy Guerrero comes out as Chavo hits a SWANK Tornado DDT on Ciclope for the win!!!
  • Eddy has Damien, Garza, and Dandy with him.
  • Chavo celebrates with Pepe.
  • Eddy talks about Bischoff making the Luchas fight each other.
  • Eddy challenges any nWo guy to come out and wrestle with heart.
  • Eddy wants the Luchas to unite.
  • Psychosis takes a shirt, but Chavo curiously leaves.

• nWo music brings out a solo Scott Steiner
  
  • The announcers talk about the Bagwell/Scott problems.
  • Scott talks about carrying Rick, and talks some smack about the Chicago Cubs.
  • Scott says he's convinced Sammy Sosa to go to a contender, because Chicago sucks.
  • Scott says that Buff's mom embarassed Marcus Bagwell.
  • Scott: "When Buff's in my world, I'm the stuff."
  • Scott says he's convinced Buff to keep his mom at home, mopping the floors and washing dishes.
  • Scott says he and Buff are fine.
  • Buff and Ms. Bagwell walk down to the ring.
  • Heenan: "There is Judge Judy Bagwell."
  • Buff has a mic.
  • The crowd starts chanting for Buff.
  • Buff says they haven't worked out anything, and they do have a problem.
  • Scott says Buff knows that Scott can break his neck.
  • Buff says his momma was right, and it's all Scott's fault.
  • Scott: "Sounds like mommy's boy is getting a little soft. Maybe I should rip that [nWo] shirt off your back right now."
  • Buff wants Scott to go one-on-one. Ms. Bagwell holds him back.
  • Scott: "Hey, you old bag."
  • Scott threatens Ms. Bagwell.
  • Buff nails Scott with a punch, and Scott goes for the nads.
  • Scott hotshots Buff over the top rope.
  • Scott brags a bit more, as we go to break.

• Match 5: Juventud Guerrera vs. Prince Iaukea
  • Juventud makes his way down to the ring.
  • His opponent - the newly-bald (mostly) Prince Nackamackie.
  • Disco Inferno comes down with a mic. He says that the people came to see Disco Inferno dance.
  • They hit his music.
  • Disco goes to dance on the apron, and Prince knocks him off the apron.
  • Juvi and Iaukea get it on.
  • Headscissors from Juvi.
  • Kidman comes down with a chair, and chases Disco around the ring.
  • Iaukea with a rollup for two, followed by a nice side kick.
  • Juvi with a NICE Rocker Dropper.
  • Iaukea avoids a Juvi dropkick.
  • NICE snap-suplex from the Prince.
  • Disco makes his way back down.
  • Juvi flips out of a belly-to-back suplex.
  • Iaukea gets a foot up on a corner charge.
  • Juvi with a springboard dropkick.
  • Juvi signals for the JuviDriver.
  • Juvi instead slams Iaukea over at the corner.
  • Juvi goes up top, but Disco shoves him off.
  • Iaukea nails Disco, but turns around and gets hit with the JuviDriver for the win.
  • Post-match, Kidman runs Disco off to the back.

• Wolfpac music brings out Kevin Nash
  • Nash, in case you couldn't guess, informs Chicago, IL, that Big Sexy is in the house.
  • Nash says he's been in the back watching Scott Hall stagger around.
  • Nash says that Hall has touched his last nerve.
  • Nash says that before he was a wrestler, he was a bouncer. So he loves to beat up drunks.
  • Nash: "Come on out, Scott Hall. It's last call!"
  • Hall comes out staggering, with a mic and a drink.
  • Hall: "Make it a double, and give me a six to go."
  • Hall says he'll fight Nash, but not here. He'll fight him down here [chop].
  • Nash chases Hall to the back.
  • We follow Nash to the back, and see him chasing Hall.
  • Nash goes out back, having lost Hall.
  • We see a limo pulling off, with Hall hanging out the window.
  • Nash follows in his own limo.

• Match 6: WCW World Television Champion Chris Jericho vs. Raven
  • Yes! The TV Champ makes an appearance.
  • Jericho doesn't have his Jericholic Ninja, or anyone else, with him.
  • His opponent: Raven!
  • Raven, also, comes out solo.
  • Some guy in the crowd has a "Carolina Mudcats" cap on.
  • TV title match starts now!
  • The announcers talk about Raven's "downbeat" streak.
  • Jericho whips Raven into the guardrail, and yells "Those are Jericho's rules."
  • Jericho tries to bring a chair into the ring. The chair gets hung on a cord, and Raven VanDaminator's the chair into Jericho.
  • Raven sets the chair in the corner, but Jericho reverses a whip, and sends Raven into the chair.
  • Jericho posts Raven on the outside, but Raven avoids Jericho's charge, and Jericho hits his head.
  • Raven throws a chair into the ring, followed by Jericho.
  • The DROP TOEHOLD OF DOOM!
  • Raven tries the Evenflow, but Jericho slips out and slaps on the Liontamer for the submission win!! Raven taps out immediately!!
  • The announcers talk about how Raven isn't the same.

• Mean Gene is in the ring, and calls out Rick Steiner
  • I thought it was going to be DDP.
  • Rick comes out to "Steinerized," not his new music.
  • Rick says Scott has brought their match on himself.
  • The maniacal laugh comes over the speakers again.
  • Oh my dear Lord. "Chucky" comes over the big screen.
  • Just when you thought it couldn't get any more asanine.
  • "Chucky" talks to Mean Gene.
  • "Chucky" is here to talk to Rick Steiner.
  • Sigh. I don't know how much they're paying Rick Steiner to lose his dignity like this?
  • This is so bad that I switch to RAW for a second. Vince McMahon is saying that he has balls the size of grapefruits.
  • I switch back. "Chucky" tells everyone to go see his new movie, opening October 16.
  • "Chucky" tells Rick not to mess with Scott, because Scott is the lead in "Chucky"'s new film.
  • This was even sadder than the "Warrior in the mirror" last week. Laaaaaaaaaaaaame!

• Tony talks about the nWo vs. Wolfpac six-man match being in jeopardy due to the Hall/Nash limo chase.

• Eric Bischoff stalks to the ring
  • Bischoff will keep it real short, clear, and simple.
  • Bischoff says it's not the United Center, it's the Bischoff Center.
  • Bischoff says he doesn't want Flair here.
  • Bischoff calls out Doug Dillinger and JJ Dillon.
  • The two make their way down.
  • Bischoff says they're going up to the suite right now to crash the party.
  • Dillinger leads Bischoff and Dillon through the crowd up to the box.
  • Bischoff gets beaned with a shower of beer and other liquid.
  • We cut to the announcing team.
  • The announcers talk about Bischoff's abuse of power.
  • We see a soaked Bischoff up on the suite level.
  • Bischoff tries to force his way in.
  • The owner, Bruce McArthur, says he's tried to be nice, and it's his private party.
  • Bischoff shoves McArthur, and immediately a HUGE group of security guys rush Bischoff and beat him down.
  • Ric Flair comes out to yell "Get him out of here!"
  • The security team hauls a horizontal Bischoff to the elevator.
  • We see Flair dancing around in front of the box.
  • McArthur gives the Four Fingers to the crowd.
  • The announcers yuk it up a bit.
  • We see Bischoff being held by a group of security guards, and taken down some stairs.
  • Bischoff is yelling about wanting his lawyer, and gets put into a security car.
  • Bischoff is driven away into the night.
  • That was a cool segment, but it's been a LONG two and a half hours so far. We'll probably only have two more matches, giving us eight matches in three hours. Sheesh.

• Match 7: Giant vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion Bill Goldberg
  • Giant comes out, wearing the forgotten World Tag Team title belt.
  • Of course, our World Title match takes a back seat to the Hogan Egofest.
  • The Champ makes his way out.
  • I'm gonna call this now. Chokeslam, Undertaker-like sit-up, Spear, Jackhammer, Splat, Win.
  • Goldberg's security team leads him to the ring.
  • Goldberg is 149-0.
  • They lock up, and it's a draw.
  • Giant slaps Goldberg across the chest.
  • Giant dropkicks Goldberg in the gut.
  • Giant with knees in the corner.
  • Giant hits an avalanche clothesline.
  • Russian legsweep from Giant.
  • Giant with a headbutt.
  • Goldberg blocks a turnbuckle shot, and gives Giant a couple.
  • Goldberg with a spin kick to the ribs, followed by a HUGE bodyslam.
  • Goldberg gets ready for the spear.
  • Stevie Ray comes in and chairs Goldberg, but Goldberg just stares at him.
  • Goldberg starts pounding on Stevie, then turns around and gets grabbed by the throat.
  • Giant chokeslams Goldberg, and goes for the pin.
  • DDP breaks the pin.
  • DDP Diamond Cuts Stevie.
  • Giant goes to Chokeslam DDP, but Goldberg spears him while he has Page up in the air.
  • Stevie pulls Giant out of the ring, and DDP leaves as well.
  • The ref calls for the bell, and the Champ wins by countout.

• We take a look from earlier, where the security applies some smack to Bischoff.
  • The Horseman party is still going on in the luxury suite.
  • Dean Malenko, understated as usual, just raises a beer to the camera with no expression.

• The Nitro Girls shake it, but fortunately don't break it.
  • Heenan: "There's nothing like going to autograph signings with the Nitro Girls. I do them all the time." Uh.....

• Match 8: WCW US Heavyweight Champion Bret Hart and Hollywood Hogan vs. Sting and Warrior
  • Michael Buffer is here to introduce "The greatest tag team match in the history of WCW Monday Nitro." At least until NEXT week.
  • Commercial.
  • Buffer does the intro is we come back.
  • Hart and Hogan make their way out first, to a shower of drinks.
  • Wolfpac music comes on, bringing out Sting. Sting comes out solo.
  • Hogan threatens Sting with his girdle belt.
  • This is Warrior's first Nitro match.
  • Warrior comes out jogging, sprints to the ring, and shakes the ropes.
  • The SuckSignal is beamed onto the roof of the arena.
  • The heels stall on the floor.
  • Sting and Warrior haven't teamed since 1985 as The Blade Runners.
  • Warrior, of course, blew up on his way to the ring.
  • Hogan wants Sting to start.
  • Hogan goes to the eyes, and starts beating on Sting.
  • Sting ducks a clothesline, and hits one of his own.
  • Inverted atomic drop from Sting.
  • Hogan wants a tag, and Hart slowly makes it.
  • Sting starts beating on Hart in the corner.
  • Sting with punches from the turnbuckle.
  • Hogan comes in for some interference, allowing Hart to hit a low blow on Sting.
  • Hart quickly opens up, and hits an atomic headbutt.
  • Hart with the second-rope elbowdrop.
  • Hogan is in, and it's his normal punch-and-choke-fest.
  • Warrior has yet to remove his Coat of Many Colors.
  • The heels doubleteam Sting in their corner.
  • Hart with a DDT for two.
  • Hart with a pretty weak Russian legsweep.
  • Hart drops the leg.
  • Hart tries a suplex, but Sting turns it into a small package for two.
  • Hart with the pendulum backbreaker.
  • Sting avoids an elbowdrop.
  • Sting makes the tag, and Warrior is in.
  • Hart stands there, and gets clotheslined three times.
  • Hogan comes in from behind and attacks, but Warrior no-sells it.
  • nWo Hollywood comes in for the requisite run-in. I'm gonna say DQ win for the former Blade Runners.
  • TP also comes in.
  • The nWo beat on Warrior, while the ring fills with the Cheap Special Effects smoke.
  • Warrior is tossed out of the ring, and Tony speculates that since Warrior wasn't in the ring when the smoke came in, Warrior couldn't disappear. Riiiiiight.
  • In the ring, Sting has a baseball bat, and clears the ring, culmunating with a Scorpion Death Drop on Vincent.
  • Warrior chases the nWo to the back with Hogan's weightlifter belt as we...
  • Fade to black.....(or at least, fade to "Mortal Kombat: The Sucking Continues....)

• In case you couldn't guess, that show just didn't do it for me. Sorry. The only thing I really found decent was the Horsemen segment. Even Juvi/Iaukea and the Lucha match didn't do it for me this week. And for goodness sakes, if you're only going to have eight matches in a three-hour show, do NOT make one of them Kendall Windham vs. Dale Torborg!!!

Hey, I just got back. Before I get started...folks, if it says no smoking, DON'T SMOKE. And sit down too.

Hmm, that feels better.

Sign of the Night: "I came here to see Disco Inferno dance!"

• Without sound for the early outdoor stuff, I had to assume that Bischoff was trying to keep the Horsemen out.
• A heck of a lot clips, espically first hour. I didn't pay $15 dollars to see last week's show.
• Also, early on, and until Nash and Hall did their little skit, David Penzer promised us a 6 man tag between the WolfPac and Hollywood factions. He mentioned names at least once, but all I heard was that it was everyone but Sting for the 'pac. I figured, once Nash took off, it would turn into a handicap match, but they didn't mention it again. Which was annoying.
• Lodi vs Wrath
  • When they preceded Lodi's match with a clip of Wrath, I knew Lodi was dead. And he was.
  • Meng and Wrath ended up brawling all the way backstage.
• Kendall Windham vs Dale Torborg
  • Everyone around me mistook Kendall for Horace. I could care less.
  • Everyone was ticked that this was a match on Nitro...they were really mailing in the first hour.
  • From where I was sitting, you could tell Torborg hurt himself going for that kick. After the match, Torborg didn't move and had to be carried from the ring by two or three medical people. They took a while moving him, to be careful of his leg...he was still in there as the Nitro Party tape was rolling. Not good.
• Sting/Warrior interview
  • The guy who went with me, Ryan, was a big Warrior fan in the WWF and was suprised he wasn't getting over.
  • But, by the end of the interview, with Warrior getting a heck of a lot of boos, he wasn't suprised anymore.
  • Even though we had no idea what Warrior was saying, I guessed Hart/Hogan vs Warrior/Sting.
• I'll skip Hogan talking, so, about all the Horsemen segments.
  • They were fun and all, but I wanted to see them wrestle!
  • The Horsemen were in a real sky box, and I could see them from my seat. Mongo came out during a commerical break late in the second hour.
• Alex Wright vs Fit Finlay
  • Lots of people, including myself, were dancing along with Alex.
  • After Finlay nailed Bulldog, he ran full speed after Alex, who bolted for the entrance. It was funny to see.
• La Parka's team vs Chavo's team
  • PARKA!!!!
  • Everyone was just waitng for the lWo to come out. It seemed speed up for some reason.
  • I couldn't tell what Eddie was saying...the mic was giving a weird echo. But, I thought, until I read Wade's report, that from the way Chavo was standing with Eddie, he joined.
• Buff/Scott
  • I totally gasped when Scott dropped Buff over the ropes. But, he got up after the commerical break, grabbed the mic and said "I love Chicago."
• Juvi/Prince
  • I was mad at Prince...Disco didn't have enough time to get funky in the pajamas he was wearing.
  • I was also befuddled as to why Kidman was running off Disco. Did I miss something?
• Nash/Hall
  • DX Style, for those wondering at home
  • I swear, I thought Hall was going fall off the ramp.
  • What was the point of this segment? Drunk driving is good?
• Raven/Jericho
  • Made abosutely no sense to me...why these two?
  • The only think I could think of was that Raven got in trouble for being backstage at the ECW show this weekend. It just didn't fit.
• Rick Steiner really didn't do an interview. I don't want to remember.
• One more thing about the Bischoff/Four Horsemen stuff
  • Sending Eric Bischoff through the crowd is about the stuipdest thing you could ever do. He got nailed from all directions with flying liquids.
• Giant/Goldberg
  • The LAMEST finish of all time...Goldberg wins by CO??? How the heck does Stevie Ray and DDP come in and interfere, yet no DQ? They didn't announce no-DQ in the building.
  • Guess things with the Giant and his contract are going well enough for him not to be jobbed clean here.
• Bladerunners vs. Hart/Hogan
  • I had my doubts that Warrior was going set foot in the ring, seeing as he never took off his vest.
  • The show ended with Warrior and Sting hugging, taking a bat each (Sting had a black and a normal one) and going to corners, raising their hands in the air.

All in all, about worth $12 of my $15 ticket. Less recaps, no stuipd matches like Kendall/Torborg and more Disco would have been better.

The crowd was dead throughout most of the evening. Even during the final two matches, the crowd was definitely not into it like at Nitros past.

Once again, a lot of things took place outside the ring, and the crowd can't hear what was going on. Everyone enjoyed the Horsemen skits, but it would have been nice to have it happen where anyone in the arena could see it.

Biggest pops of the night by far went to the Wolfpac, and of course Hogan got the loudest jeers.

Penzer announced before the show that we would see Hall, Norton, and Stevie Ray vs. Nash, Lugar, and Konnan, but that never happened, and the crowd was never told why.

Warrior got once again booed heavily by the crowd, and after Nitro went off the air, the two former Bladerunners stood in the ring with bats playing the crowd. During the last match, I don't know what they showed on TNT, but Bret Hart got hit in the head with something and as he walked back to the lockeroom he was giving people the finger and had a chair over head to protect himself.

Finally, and probably the best part of the evening was as Goldberg came out for his intros, a firework somehow landed on top of the announcers position, and caught on fire. At first it was a small fire and then suddenly it became bigger, and our section (being right near the announce position) started to yell fire, at which Tony looked up, and the three commentators jumped out of the chairs. They were all laughing, but then the crew couldn't find a fire extinguisher. So, a guy tried to climb the set and smash the fire out, but by the time he had reached the top another crew member found an extinguisher and not only put out the fire, but sprayed the other member in the face with the extinguisher! Pretty funny stuff, and nice to see Tony's lightning quick reflexes!