WCW Halloween Havoc '98, 10/25/98
WCW Halloween Havoc '98
Sunday, October 25, 1998
Okay. It goes like this:
 
A little more than a week ago, I wrote a Halloween Havoc preview
report for DDT Digest.
 
I recapped the previous nine Havocs. And I took a look forward to
this year's card.
 
In the look forward, I commented on this year's scheduled Hollywood Hogan vs.
Warrior match.
 
I wrote that Warrior has made an ass of himself on WCW television
recently. And I said their first meeting at WrestleMania VI was overbooked and overhyped.
 
Well, I took some heat for that. There were people who were upset that
I would dare to blaspheme the name of The Warrior.
 
I've been asked -- well, told -- to never again insult The
Warrior.
 
Well, let me say in my own defence that I had no idea that Warrior was
such a revered figure, and such a great mat technician. Simply put, I
feel very bad about this.
 
Stupid me. All these years of enjoying matches featuring Ric Flair, Ricky
Steamboat, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, Stan Hansen, Roddy Piper,
Sting, The Great Muta, Mitsuhara Misawa, Bob Backlund, Arn Anderson, Stevie Richards,
Chris Jericho and
Sabu, and I never noticed how great The Warrior is.
 
And I didn't realize how vastly popular he remains. This really hit
home this past Monday, when his segment with Hogan left the Nitro crowd
almost completely silent. I suppose this was because the fans love Warrior
so much, they didn't want to make noise and distract him.
 
Obviously, I haven't shown Warrior the requisite amount of respect.
 
I'm really angry at myself for this. Rest assured, I've changed my ways.
 
I'm glad I got that off my chest. I hope all you Warriors© out there will
forgive me for my sins.
 
Now, hold on a second -- I have to dry my eyes. There. Okay, I feel
better.
 
Before I get to the pay-per-view report for this year's card, I just
want to comment on a question brought up by fellow DDT Digest writer
Big Mike.
 
If you go back and read the Havoc preview, I mentioned that the Havoc main
events in '92 and '93 were "Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal" events.
 
WCW had this big roulette wheel with 12 specialty matches on it. It was
spun, and whatever came up was the match we saw. Mike wanted to know if
the wheel was fixed.
 
Well, from what I can tell, the answer is no. At Havoc '92, WCW showed
equipment for all 12 matches at the start of the broadcast. And the wheel
was spun well before the main event, giving the booker time to figure out
what to do with what came up on the wheel.
 
If only WCW was as spontaneous with Battle Bowls. They would have been
much better if they were truly random.
 
Yo, Bischoff, if you do a Battle Bowl again, don't fix the tag team pairings.
Let a fan come up to the broadcast position and select the names at random.
 
Show us that you can book on the fly.
 
Anyway, enough of that.
 
The pay-per-view is ordered. The television is on. The tape is in the VCR.
The VCR is rolling. The beer is chilled. The time is here.
 
Let Halloween Havoc '98 begin!
 
- As the opening montage rolls, I have a formula for all you
math wizards out there. Hollywood Hogan + any oppenent but
The Warrior = Crapola.
- Here's another one. Lex Luger in 1986 + desire, intensity and
charisma = Bill Goldberg 1998.
- And one more. Bret Hart + Owen Hart + Chris Benoit + Chris Jericho +
Edge + Christian Cage + Val Venis = Canadians taking over wrestling. Our
master plan is working...
-
We're live and in kull-ah in Kathmandu, Nepal. Oh wait. We're in Las
Vegas, which is just a short drive away.
-
Opening montage. Hogan-Warrior, Goldberg-DDP, Sting-Hart, Hall-Nash.
We go to the three shot. Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay.
Blah blah blah. They hype the Hogan-Warrior match. And that reminds me.
I wanted to ask a trivia question. Who's the bestest rassler in the whole
wide world? Answer at the end of this report.
 
Yow! Nitro girrrrrrrrrrrrrrls. They dance, they lean backwards. Ut!
 
Damn. They go to Scheme Gene.
- He brings out Rick Steiner. Can Chucky be far behind?
- Steiner sez he'll beat the tar outta his brother.
- Buff Bagwell comes out. He asks Rick if he can stand in Rick's corner.
- Rick: "I don't know if I can trust you."
- Buff sez he'll watch Rick's back.
- Rick agrees to let Buff back him up.
- Doublecross?
- Match One: WCW TV champion Chris Jericho vs. Raven
- This could be frikkin' great.
- If these two perform to the best of their ability, the rest of the card could pale in comparison.
- Can you tell that I'm an ECW mark?
- There seem to be many Jerichoholics in Las Vegas and the Kathmandu area.
- Raven grabs the stick and says he recent losing streak isn't his fault.
- "What about me? What about Raven?"
- He bitches that this was an unscheduled match and he won't wrestle it.
- Raven walks out.
- Jericho picks up the stick, and proceeds to mock Raven and the Flock.
- "I think I could whip your butt in about two minutes, you LOSER!"
- Raven bolts in. Match on.
- Jericho gets the upper hand, whipping Raven with his own jacket.
- Clothesline and pin attempt by Jericho.
- Raven recovers and clotheslines both of them over the top.
- Raven supplexes Jericho stomach-first on to the ring steps.
- Raven uses the steps to leap and dropkick Jericho.
- Back in the ring, Raven strikes the Jesus Christ pose.
- Jericho stun-guns Raven.
- Springing dropkick by Jericho, and they're outside.
- Jericho leaps off the apron and hits the rail.
- Good match so far.
- Raven breaks the count and slams Jericho's head into the steps.
- Raven whipped into the rail.
- Back in the ring.
- Eye rake by Jericho. Raven chokes Jericho.
- Sleeper by Raven. Jericho gets out, and hits a senton.
- Jericho rips off a turnbuckle, and exposes a bolt.
- Raven with a powerbomb.
- He slingshots Jericho into the exposed bolt.
- They trade moves. Raven hits a belly-to-belly supplex.
- Jericho traps Raven. Liontamer.
- Raven reaches the ropes.
- Raven with a DDT.
- CLOSE two count.
- Jericho tries a quick roll up, kick out.
- Back supplex into a pin by Jericho. Two count.
- Kanyon comes out and gets on the apron.
- Raven whips Jericho into Kanyon.
- Raven goes for the DDT.
- Jericho grabs Raven's legs and escapes the DDT.
- Liontamer.
- Tap out.
- Too bad Kanyon had to get involved.
- That was Raven's best WCW match yet.
- Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan come out...
- The Bisch got a haircut. How corporate.
- Hogan talks for a few minutes and doesn't say much of interest.
- It's a recap of the Horace Hogan attack.
- Hogan threatens The Warrior.
- Hey! Leave The Warrior alone.
- Match Two: Wrath vs. Meng
- Now, here are two guys that I enjoy watching.
- I always liked Meng, going back to his days as King Tonga.
- And Wrath is a guy who has been largely misused.
- My pick here is Wrath, although in a real fight, Meng would kick his ass.
- If you don't believe me, ask Arn Anderson. I read his book.
- Arn says Meng is the man.
- That's good enough for me.
- Still, Wrath is one big sucker.
- Anyone remember his appearance at Starrcade '91?
- Speaking of Starrcade, I'm working on a history of Starrcade feature for DDT Digest.
- Look for it in December before the pay-per-view. It'll be like my Havoc preview.
- I suppose it, too, will anger fans raised on the WWF. Oh well.
- Anyway, back to Wrath and Meng...
- Meng keep Wrath from coming into the ring.
- Wrath pulls Meng outside. Slam into the barrier.
- Plancha by Wrath.
- Into the ring. Meng whips Wrath into the corner.
- Wrath gives Meng the boot. Meng no-sells.
- Wrath with a clothesline, followed by a shoulderblock.
- Meng blocks the Meltdown.
- Meng with kicks and chops. Backbreaker. Two count.
- More chops. Meng bites Wrath.
- They brawl back and forth. But it's not all that intense.
- Belly-to-back supplex by Meng.
- Meng lariat in the corner. Atomic drop.
- Wrath avoids a punch and hits a t-bone supplex. Two count.
- Meltdown. 1-2-3.
- These guys did not work well together.
- We go to the Internet location
- Lee Marshall interviews Billy Kidman.
- Who cares?
- Match Three: Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera
- The winner faces Kidman for the Cruiserweight belt later.
- Juvi looks like Michael Jackson to me.
- Disco goes on the offence with kicks.
- Side slam. Two count.
- Disco misses a clothesline. Juventud hits some chops.
- Headscissors. Clothesline.
- They screw up a rocker dropper.
- They try it again and Juvi hits it.
- Juvi with more chops.
- Juvi monkeyflips Disco outside, and does a headscissors outside.
- Back inside, and Disco regains the advantage with a clothesline.
- Bodyslam.
- Elbow from the the second rope.
- My fiancee Trixie is watching. She says Disco's "gonna be a porker."
- I ask her if I will be as I reach for a chip.
- Juvi keeps up his advantage.
- Disco leaves the ring and Juvi pulls a flying vault.
- Back inside, Juvi hits a hurancanrana.
- They switch supplex positions, and Disco hits a neckbreaker.
- Juvi tries a sunset flip. Disco breaks it, and dances the macarena.
- Juvi tries the pin again. Two count.
- Disco with a vertical supplex. Don't see that from him very often.
- Disco to the top, and Juvi crotches the man on the top.
- Frankensteiner. Spinwheel kick. Two count.
- Juvi with a bulldog. Two.
- Disco with a piledriver.
- 1-2-3.
- Disco will face Kidman.
- Trixie's upset that the "porker" won.
- My bud Wheezer© calls. "Juvi went down like Rik Emmett's career."
- You'd have to be a Triumph fan to get that one.
- More Nitro Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrls
- They have chairs!
- "What kinda crap was that?" sez Trixie.
- Scott Steiner comes out with a microphone
- He plays up the crowd, and mocks Buff.
- Scott suggests that tonight's match be changed to a tag contest.
- Scott wants to team with The Giant to take on Rick & Buff. He says they'll put the belts on the line.
- The Giant comes out to talk trash.
- Jo Jo Dillon comes out to confirm that this will be a title match.
- Jo Jo asks Scott if he'd be willing to take on Rick if Rick and Buff win the tag match.
- Da Pump agrees.
- Match Four: Fit Finley vs. Alex Wright
- Battle of the Europeans.
- Trixie about Alex: "He can't dance for s#it."
- Nice girl. Think I'll marry her.
- They lock up.
- Clean break in the corner.
- Finley with an armbar. Wright flips Finley and escapes.
- Finley goes to the uppercuts.
- Snapmare. Knee. Uppercut.
- Wright responds with uppercuts.
- The crowd starts a "boring" chant.
- Wright catapults Finley on the bottom rope.
- Finley recovers. Short-arm clothesline.
- Finley with a catapult into a rack.
- They go outside, and Finley punishes Wright.
- Wright with a slam.
- Wright with a sissy chop.
- Finley drops Wright over the steel.
- Back inside, and we get more uppercuts.
- A little brawling, and they both tumble outside again.
- Finley back inside. He avoids a missile dropkick.
- Wright avoids a shouldertackle and hits a neckbreaker.
- Wright covers.
- 1-2-3.
- Back to the Internet location
- Marshall talks to Ernest Miller.
- More of the same old crap.
- Match Five: Lodi vs. Saturn
- Saturn comes out looking like a... er, guy in too much leather. Never mind.
- Saturn starts with a hammer lock. Switch. They go to the ropes.
- Lodi goes after the ring attendant, who is walking away with his signs.
- Lodi leaves the signs at ringside.
- They lock up again.
- Saturn with a leg sweep.
- Lodi goes outside and stalls for time.
- Lodi picks up a "LODI LIKES TEXAS" sign. No crowd response.
- Saturn drags Lodi back in.
- Lodi takes some punishment, rolls out and grabs his signs again.
- Saturn chases Lodi back into the ring.
- Axehandles by Lodi.
- Overhead supplex by Saturn. Another.
- Supplex to a corkscrew.
- Death Valley Driver. Saturn gets the pin.
 
Before I continue with the pay-per-view report, I'd like to take time
here to pay artistic tribute to The Warrior.
 
I hope you will enjoy this modest little poem.
 
Xavier Doom proudly presents the first ever Halloween Havoc Haiku.
Here goes:
I run to the ring
I am out of breath again
Grunting smoke grunting
There. I hope you enjoyed it.
 
Now, back to the pay-per-view...
 
- More Nitro Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrls
- They sure do like to point a lot.
- Pretty rude.
- But forgivable.
- Hey! Chae nearly fell over.
- A little top-heavy, I guess.
- Match Six: Disco Inferno vs. Cruiserweight champion Billy Kidman
- Kidman. Equal parts The Fonz and Marilyn Manson.
- I don't know. Something like that.
- They lock up.
- Hip toss by Disco. The Fonz responds with a dropkick.
- Headlock by Kidman.
- Disco bodyslam.
- Kidman with a leg trip into an armlock.
- Disco reverses, and pulls the hair. The ref does nothing about it.
- Kidman pulls the hair.
- He gets flipped over the rope, comes back with a headscissors and a bunch of stomps.
- Disco drops Kidman throat-first onto the bottom rope.
- Disco with a neckbreaker. Two count.
- Kidman whipped hard into the corner. He sells it well.
- Disco taunts The Fonz.
- Kidman with a kick.
- Disco ducks a crossbody block, and Kidman's outside.
- Kidman bulldogs Disco to the floor.
- Disco back in.
- Kidman misses a dive.
- Disco gets two.
- Headlock by Disco.
- Kidman gets out and hits a clothesline.
- Disco hits a pancake and starts dancing.
- Disco kicks Kidman down in the corner.
- Belly-to-back. Two.
- Disco teases Kidman, calling him a "punk" and a "pip-squeak".
- Disco chokes Kidman on the rope.
- Bodyslam and more dancing.
- Disco to the second rope. He misses an elbowdrive.
- Kidman with a powerbomb.
- Kidman with a powerslam after he takes an elbow to the chin.
- Kidman misses a dropkick.
- Disco nails a piledriver, but he's winded.
- After about 10 seconds, he covers. Two count.
- Disco needs a shave.
- Kidman tries a bulldog, but Disco hits a supplex.
- Disco with a gourdbuster. Two count.
- Disco tries the piledriver. Kidman flips around and smashes Disco's face into the mat.
- Shooting star press.
- Kidman retains the belt.
- Video of Konnan
- The K-Dawg raps for us.
- Rap, bouncing cars, break dancing.
- All this needs is Chucky and The Yeti.
- And, of course, The Warrior.
- Match Seven: Rick Steiner & Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner & The Giant for the tag titles
- The nWo boyz come out, and Scott strikes a pose.
- "I'm chiseled." Yeah, and on your way to a premature heart-attack.
- The Giant's smoking again. I guess he's working on lung cancer.
- Ladies and gentlemen, The NEW Bodydonnas!
- This is Buff's first match since his injury.
- The teams jaw back and forth.
- The Giant and Rick start out.
- Schiavone promos the Chucky movie. Trixie laughs.
- Giant clubbers Rick and hits an atomic drop.
- Scott doesn't want to tag in.
- The Giant punishes Rick some more, and Scott comes in.
- He kicks and punches his brother and tosses him to the floor.
- Giant headbutts Rick and throws him back in.
- Scott chokes Rick on the ropes.
- The brothers brawl.
- Too bad they can't wrestle any more.
- Scott with an atomic drop.
- Rick goes for the cover, and Buff wants the tag.
- Rick & Buff try a double-clothesline. They miss.
- Buff kicks Rick in the gut, and the doublecross is revealed.
- Buff leaves Rick alone with Scott and The Giant.
- Scott punishes Rick some more and tags in El Gigante, er, The Giant.
- The Giant with a NASTY chop.
- Scott punishes Rick on the outside.
- Rick's rolled in.
- The Giant with a Russian leg sweep.
- He goes for a pin and picks up Rick's shoulders several times.
- Scott tagged in. Rick tries to recover.
- Rick hits some punches, but Scott hits a low blow.
- Scott holds Rick. Giant to the top.
- The Giant attempts a missile dropkick, and hits his partner.
- Rick stuns The Giant and hits the top rope bulldog.
- 1-2-3!
- Rick and Buff are the champs.
- That takes us to...
- Match Eight: Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner.
- Scott attempts to leave.
- Rick attacks Scott, and The Giant intervenes.
- Rick throws Scott into the steps.
- The brothers are in the ring.
- Scott asks for a time out.
- Rick hammers Scott and nails a Steinerline.
- Scott with a whip. Rick lifts a foot to the face.
- Rick drops Scott stomach first on the top rope.
- Scott with a low blow.
- Scott with a Steinerline.
- Punches.
- Scott drapes Rick over the ropes and leaps on him.
- Scott misses a clothesline and Rick hits a slam.
- Rick with a belly-to-belly supplex.
- A guy in a Bill Clinton mask and a suit jumps the rail and attacks security.
- Stevie Ray comes out, and hands Clinton a blackjack.
- Clinton hits the ref and Rick.
- Clinton takes off the mask. It's Buff.
- Somebody's ringing the bell.
- Buff grabs the ref's arm and counts the pin. Rick kick out at two.
- Scott with a top rope Frankensteiner. Buff counts to two. Kick out.
- Rick ducks a double clothesline. He drops Buff on the rope..
- Rick hits his big bulldog on Scott.
- Rick covers Scott, and Nick Patrick slides in and counts to three.
- On the apron, Buff calls out "Anybody see Monica?? Monica!!"
- A look back on the Hall-Nash situation
- Trixie: "This is worse than a soap opera."
- We get to see Hall puke on Bischoff again. Cool.
- Match Nine: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall
- Trixie comments about Hall's hair.
- Hall's got a drink, as usual.
- Trixie thinks Nash is cute. I guess that means he'll win.
- Hall throws the drink in Nash's eyes.
- The match is on.
- Hall pounds down Nash, and they go outside.
- Nash gets posted.
- Hall hits Nash with a microphone and then chokes Nash with a camera cable.
- Hall throwns Nash to the rail, and punches him down.
- Hall into the ring as the ref checks Nash.
- Hall wants the stick.
- "Hey, yo... Hey Big Sexy, look at you now."
- Hall tells Nash to go back to the dressing room.
- Nash stumbles into the ring.
- Hall lays into him with punches. Nash is having a hard time getting up.
- A Wolfpack chants starts.
- Nash escapes an Outsider edge.
- Nash pushes Hall away.
- Then he tells Hall to give him his best shot.
- Hall with a whip to the corner and a clothesline.
- Nash doesn't seem to want to fight back.
- And then..... he whips Hall into the turnbuckles, and hits a side slam.
- Hall back to the punches. It's just like watching Roddy Piper.
- Nash with a kneelift. He starts the Piper imitation.
- Hall goes outside to buy time. Nash rips off his shirt.
- They lock up.
- This one's slow, but not bad.
- Both are selling each other's moves well.
- Hall with a series of shoulder drives.
- Nash hits one of his own.
- More punches.
- Kidney shot by Nash.
- Nash drives Hall's face to the mat.
- Nash drapes Hall over the rope and sits down on him.
- He does it again.
- The ref checks Hall.
- Nash puts Hall in the corner and drives a hip into him.
- Nash measures Hall and hits an elbow to the face.
- "Have another drink, baby!"
- Nash drives the hip into Hall.
- "Have a double." Two hip checks.
- Nash with an elbow to the back of the head. Punch.
- Hall fighting back from his knees and Nash pounds him.
- Hall throws weak punches.
- Foot to the face by Nash.
- Nash sets up the jackknife.
- He hits it. Ouch. Very nice.
- Nash signals for another one. "Think I'll have a double."
- The second jackknife is just as good.
- The ref wants Nash to cover.
- Nash with a rude gesture.
- Having proven his point, Nash leaves the ring without going for the pin.
- Hall wins on a countout.
- As I said, it was slow, but still an enjoyable contest.
- For the 4th time, Nitro Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrls
- They're wearing coloured wigs.
- That's it.
- Match Ten: US champion Bret Hart vs. Sting
- Sting comes to the ring with two new friends: a goatee and the baseball bat.
- Hart leaves the ring.
- Sting threatens to use the bat.
- Hart points at his belt and talks some trash.
- Sting chases Hart around the ring.
- Hart's playing the classic heel by stalling and taunting.
- Hart in. The match is on.
- Hart out. The crowd boos. Hart jaws with a woman on the outside.
- The ref starts to count. Hart comes in an leaves again.
- Sting runs after Hart, and hauls him into the ring.
- Sting stomps Hart's fingers and pounds on him in the corner.
- Clothesline.
- There's about 30 minutes left in the show. We're in for short matches, I guess.
- After all, there's still Goldberg-DDP and Hogan-Warrior to go.
- Sting taunts Hart and stomps him some more.
- Sting with an atomic drop.
- Hart comes back with punches and kicks.
- Face burn on the top rope.
- Hart with a DDT.
- Two count.
- Hart bites Sting.
- Reverse atomic drop and clothesline by The Hitman.
- Headbutt to the gut.
- Legdrop and a two count.
- Headbutts to Sting's lower back.
- Choke by Hart.
- Hart with an elbow. Two count.
- Headlock by Hart.
- Sting with elbows. Hart with a kick to the gut.
- Hart chokes Sting on the ropes. Eye rake. Bulldog.
- Hart steps on his throat.
- Hart tries a supplex and Sting rolls him into a pin. Two.
- Hart with a Russian leg sweep.
- The Hitman to the second rope. He goes for a dropkick.
- Sting steps back, grabs the feet and applies the Scorpion Death Lock.
- Hart reaches the ropes.
- Sting with punches.
- Sting off the ropes.
- Hart leapfrogs over Sting, and pretends his leg is hurt.
- The ref tells Sting to back away, and Hart pulls out a foreign object.
- Sting gets it from Hart and tries to use it, but the ref blocks his punch.
- Hart uses the opening to regain the advantage.
- Hart with a backbreaker.
- Hart with an elbowdrive. Two count.
- Sting thrown outside, and Hart follows.
- Sting into the railing.
- Hart pounds on Sting, and then drops him throat-first on the railing.
- Hart enters the ring and swears at a fan.
- Sting gets on the apron, and is attacked.
- Sting elbows the ref by accident.
- Hart hits the ref to make sure he stays down.
- Sting regains the advantage, and tries a Stinger splash.
- Hart blocks it and punches Sting.
- Hart goes to the top, and Sting blocks him.
- Sting superplexes Hart to the mat. Hart's legs hit the ref's legs.
- Hart slumps into the corner.
- Sting hits his splash and also hits his head on the corner post.
- Hart gets the bat and hits a limp Sting four times.
- Hart sets Sting up for another shot.
- Hart off the top with the bat.
- Hart revives the ref and applies the sharpshooter.
- The ref checks Sting and calls for the bell.
- Hart wins.
- The ref calls for paramedics to help Sting.
- They come out and put a neck brace on Sting. They strap him to the stretcher.
- The cameras follow Sting to the ambulance.
- We're late, considering the usual time limit for pay-per-views (2 hours, 45 minutes).
- At this point, we have about 10 minutes left, and there's still two matches to go.
- Match Eleven: Hollywood Hogan vs. The Warrior (!!!)
- What??? This isn't the main event???
- That's disgusting!!! It's a travesty!!!
- Hogan comes out first, and they show the Horace attack again.
- Nice boa, Hogan.
- Here comes The Warrior. He's burbling -- every syllable dripping like manna from Heaven.
- He runs to the ring and shakes a lot. He looks out of breath.
- But there's no way he's out of breath. NO WAY!!!
- Everyone knows The Warrior is in consummate cardiovascular shape.
- He looks great!!! Even though he's up against Hogan, Warrior should carry that stiff to a classic.
- An instant classic.
- Hogan plays the coward on the outside. Three minutes left in the usual pay-per-view time limit.
- Warrior tells Hogan to get in the ring.
- Hogan gets in and talks some trash.
- Yes!!! Warrior nails Hogan!!!
- Tony says these are two of the best wrestlers of all time.
- Well, we know Warrior is.
- Hogan with an arm twist.
- Warrior reverses. Warrior hits a shoulder block. Hogan leaves the ring.
- We are now into PPV overtime.
- Hogan back in. Warrior wants a test of strength. Hogan stalls.
- Hogan forces Warrior into the corner and pounds on him.
- They lock fingers and Hogan kicks Warrior in the gut.
- I hear Warrior has the softest hands is wrestling. Very smooth.
- Warrior struggles to his feet. Arm twists.
- They bounce off the ropes.
- Hogan with a scoop and a slam. But Warrior recovers, of course.
- Warrior clotheslines Hogan over the top.
- Warrior chases Hogan.
- Yo, Eric Bischoff! I don't care how much money it takes, extend this man's contract.
- E-mail me if you need some financial help to get Warrior to sign the dotted line.
- I don't have much money, but I'll sell a kidney if the money will keep Warrior in WCW.
- Write me, Eric! I have a spare kidney for The Warrior!
- Warrior slams Hogan into the barrier. Then into the post.
- Hogan back in.
- Warrior goes for the clothesline. Hogan ducks, and the referee gets hit.
- Hogan plants another knee on the ref to make sure he stays down.
- Hogan calls out The Giant.
- Oh, man, suddenly I gotta get up and go to the washroom.
- Must be all that beer.
- I don't believe this.
- I can't get up and go. After all, Warrior is on.
- The hell with it. I'll sit here and piss my pants.
- It's a small sacrifice to make for The Warrior.
- Giant misses a boot, and hits Hogan.
- Warrior chases away the nWo.
- Warrior tries to revive the ref.
- Hogan hits him from behind and nails a supplex.
- The ref recovers.
- Oh, no!!! Don't count out Warrior -- Hogan cheated!!!
- THE WARRIOR KICKS OUT!!!
- Hogan takes off his work-out belt, and whips Warrior.
- What a great match.
- Thank goodness there are men as dedicated to their craft as The Warrior.
- I mean, I can't stand those wrestlers who get a major following and then bail on their fans when the going gets tough.
- Especially guys who do it to their fans three times.
- Thank goodness for dedicated men like The Warrior.
- Warrior survives the brutal whipping.
- He goes for the big splash.
- Oh, no!!! He missed!!!
- They brawl... and my cable operator cuts the feed five minutes before the top of the hour.
- That's it. I can't see any more.
- I am not paying for this.
- Damn it, this is frustrating.
- Oh, well, I have every confidence that The Warrior beat the forces of evil and won the match.
- And who cares about Goldberg and DDP anyway?
- Well, since I got cut off, I looked up the finishes elsewhere. If you want to have the excitement develop in a "real" finished report by someone who stayed up for the replay, check Solie's. Otherwise, keep reading:
- In the Hogan/Warrior match, Bischoff and Horace interfered. Horace "passed the test" by waffling Warrior with a chair. Hogan got the pin on Warrior and tried to set him on fire with lighter fluid. Security swarmed to prevent a barbeque.
- In a hard-fought, great match (so I read), Goldberg defeated DDP. DDP hit the Diamond Cutter during the match, but was too slow making the cover and didn't get the three-count. Goldberg reversed a supplex into the Jackhammer. In a display of sportsmanship, DDP raised Goldberg's hand after the match.
- Trivia answer: The Warrior, of course.
 
And now before I wrap up this incomplete report, another tribute...
 
The Warrior
You run, run, runaway
It's your heart that you betray
Feeding on your hungry eyes
I bet you're not so civilized
Isn't love primitive
A wild gift you wanna give
Break out of captivity
And follow me stereo jungle child
Love is the kill your heart's still wild
chorus:
Shootin' at the walls of heartache
BANG! BANG! I am The Warrior
Yes, I am The Warrior
And heart to heart you win
If you survive The Warrior, The Warrior
You talk, talk, talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically
Stay with me, we'll take the night
As passion takes another bite
Oh, who's the hunter?
Who's the game?
I feel the beat call your name
I'll hold you close in victory
I don't wanna tame your animal style
You won't be caged
From the call of the wild
chorus:
Shootin' at the walls of heartache
BANG! BANG! I am The Warrior
Yes, I am The Warrior
And heart to heart you win
If you survive The Warrior, The Warrior
(Words and music by Nick Gilder and Holly Knight)
 
God bless The Warrior!!!
 
Er, that's it. I have to go now and call the hotline just incase Warrior
is grunting into the phone, celebrating his victory.
 
And I guess I should change my pants.
 
One last note: As I write this, it is about 15 minutes after the feed
was cut prematurely. The operator I just spoke with at the cable company
sounded quite frazzled. Apparently, scores of angry wrestling fans have
the switchboard lit up. I politely asked for a refund, and she
offered the repeat for free. I told her the repeat is well underway, and will also be incomplete.
She was baffled by this, and I agreed to call back in the morning when the
decision makers are back at work. I want a refund or a free and complete
replay.