I worked at a delicatessen in suburban Minneapolis (among other jobs) this summer. The name of the milk dispenser? Silver King. Another co-worker and I agreed that the name of the iced tea machine should be called "Toyko Magnum." Thank you for the good report. LENNY LANE RULES!
Inspired by the news of your kitten, and the fact that I, too, have a kitten and two cats, I decided to write you this wrestling report.
Hobbes is the kitten. Tigger is the other male cat. Kate is Tigger's sister.
- Hobbes comes to the ring first.
- Tigger walks up to the counter, apparently not realizing that he is issuing a challenge.
- Hobbes leaps off the top counter and on top of Tigger.
- Tigger spits at Hobbes and does a backbreaker.
- Hobbes leaps out at two.
- Tigger sits and takes a rest.
- Hobbes then leaps at the opportunity and does a spinning neckbreaker.
- Hobbes follows up with an ear bite.
- Hobbes again follows with a leg takedown.
- Tigger reverses the hold and uses his 10-pound advantage to pin Hobbes.
- Hobbes kicks out at two and does the tail-flip!
- (This is where Hobbes leaps in the air and twists around. It doesn't hurt Tigger but looks pretty cool).
- Tigger with some punches and kicks.
- Tigger puts on the declawer!
- (The declawer is where he grabs Hobbes' paws and starts biting them).
- Hobbes won't stand for it and swats Tigger in the chops.
- Hobbes puts on the me-OW!!!!!!
- (The me-OW is a leg bite with very sharp kitten teeth)
- Tigger is in trouble, and he gives in.
- Hobbes won't let go.
- HERE COMES KATE!!!!!
- Kate with a DDT.
- Kate with a body throw and Hobbes back off.
- Kate then reveals the doublecross by pouncing on Tigger and giving him a fur munch.
- Tigger runs off.
- Hobbes then reveals with the doublecross by putting on the me-OW on Kate!
- And we fade to black.
As a fellow member of the "Get Kitty B. Badd of my damn TV" club, I too felt your pain Monday night. Right after Kitty left my TV screen my cat pick the wrong time to walk in front of me. I pick him up and dropped kicked him off of my second story balcony. Before I could blink, the kitty caught a branch of a nearby tree and swung himself back my way (ala Rey Mesterio Jr.). He hit me with the great orange one's signature move, the BACK RAKE OF DOOM!!!
It was all I could take, I was down in the middle of my living room, he rolled me up in a small package and got the three count. He started chanting "Dallas in da' house" to bring the cheap heat, My rotwellier came in to make the save, but it was too little too late. The Cat disappeared under my couch and out of sight for the rest of the night.
The damage had been done. I laid embarassed on the floor with my dog licking my face. Where did I go wrong? I live in fear of the BROD (back rake of Doom), what can I do?
What is with this trend in angles that involve chemicals these days? Let me start in WCW with Hall and his drinking angle that seems to have died out after Havoc. Next we have Hammer coming to the ring sniffing incense. And although we have not seen him take anything, He is sure walking and talking like he is all wigged out on something. Now we go over to the other side and see Austin and his "Steveweisers", Gangrel and his weird power giving blood stuff, and Hawk on pain killers but acting like he is drunk.
And now to top it all off we have Scotty Steiner running around the ring and announcers' area throwing a steroid fit. What next? Are we going to have Hogan addicted to Rogaine? I pray to the Good Lord above that we don't see Alex Wright addicted to Viagra!
To hell with you, to Bill, and all the rest of the DDT Digest crew! Now that I know all of the secrets of wrestling, I can never watch again. How can I watch Rey Misterio perform a suicide corkscrew plancha, knowing full well that it's fake, and that there is a simple trick to it that ANYONE could do? How can I believe that heels are really evil, when I know the old ladies they're shoving in the audience are actually plants that work for the wrestling promoter? Now that the veil of deception has been torn from my eyes I'm through with wrestling forever, and will only spend my time watching REAL athletic competitions such as Harlem Globetrotter games.
In all seriousness, if you saw it, you know how ridiculous it was. When was the last time you saw a heel tear up an audience member's autograph book? And lines like "The top rope hurricanrana looks like a devastating finishing maneuver, but it doesn't hurt at all...if you know the trick to it" just demean the formidable athletic talents of wrestlers, not to mention the intelligence of the fans. And how many kids are going to be trying these potentially dangerous moves now that they "know the trick to it?" Not until the very end of the show did NBC put a disclaimer telling you not to try the moves at home.
Hey man, just wondering if I was the only one that noticed that Raven was wearing a SANDMAN t-shirt on nitro this week?? Can you say hint? Keep up the good work, with one of the most entertaining and most promptly posted recaps on the net.
I read the e-mail in your report that ragged on WCW and couldn't agree more. Here's my state of the union address:
I must start by saying that I'm a WWF fan since 1985 but that I also am objective enough to know when WCW is putting on a better product. IMHO, WCW had the edge (for me anyway) from May 96 to March 98. Nitro was a hell of a lot better at 2 hours, they don't know what to do anymore, no angles, no storylines, nothing, it just plain sucks. Whoever books the shows needs to learn how to pace.
For example I remember when Nitro always started with a good match, great move!!! You've got to get the crowd into it. What do we get now, the talking heads for 5 minutes, then replays from last week for another 5-10, then some garbage match. BORING, I can only imagine how bad it must suck to have to sit through a 3 hour Nitro taping, 45 minutes of which probably consists of the announcers talking, (can't they talk during a match?) replays, and then another 45 minutes of Hogan/Steiner interviews.
Plus, what's the deal with the unwritten matchmaking rule where certain guys only fight certain guys (ie: Benoit would never face Hogan or Nash on TV). Bischoff needs to cut the time or get rid of Thunder (unlikely) and start worrying about plots that make sense because WCW sucks so bad right now it's not even funny, and it shouldn't happen with their roster.
leave scott steiner alone he is the ony reason 2 watch wcw/nwo nitro.
Not extraneous comments from me this week - I was a slack-ass and didn't get around to doing this until Monday evening.
OK, a couple of self-serving comments:
