WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 12/21/98
WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 12/21/98
You better not shout, you better not cry,
you better not pout, I'm telling you why,
Saturn Claus is coming to town
- A note about this week's report - I had to go out to the mall for some last-minute items, and ended up not getting home until around 9:15pm EST, about an hour into the show. Since I get up early enough as it is to go to work, I'm going to give some brief match/event summaries until the point when I came home, and started doing the show live.
- It turns out that my surgery, which was supposed to be last Friday the 18th, got postponed until this Tuesday, the 29th. Aldo D will be doing the Nitro report next Monday, the 28th, as I will be getting ready that night to go in and get my neck sliced open.
- We see a retrospective on the formation of the nWo, Eric Bischoff's turn, and the lead-up to the Flair feud.
- And we're LIVE from St. Louis, MO, with WCW Monday Nitro!
- Match 1: Fit Finlay vs. Scott Putski
- A lot of stalling early in the match.
- A very mat-based match, with Putski getting more than his share of offense.
- A long match, with a commercial break in the middle of it.
- Finlay ducks the Polish Hammer, and Putski soon falls victim to the Tombstone.
- A look back at recent Flair/Bischoff shenaegans.
- Santa Claus interrupts a Kitty B. Badd segment, but it turns out to be Saturn in disguise. Saturn suplexes Kitty right out of his litter box.
- Match 2: Kaz Hayashi vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/Pepe)
- Hayashi is in full job mode, getting only token offense before Chavo hits the Tornado DDT for the win.
- Kevin Nash comes out to talk about his match with Goldberg, touching on the fact that he, too, is a former World champion.
- Gene calls out Raven and Kanyon
- Raven talks about his hard life.
- Kanyon starts to mock him, and Raven decks him.
- Raven claims the only reason his mother came out to help him is that she wanted to get on TV like Judy Bagwell. He sarcastically theorizes that maybe she'd like to be a tag-team champion like Mrs. Bagwell.
- "Ms. Levy" runs out to pull Raven off, saying "Scotty, don't hit your friends."
- Ms. Levy wants Raven to come home with her, to see his doctor, and Raven finally agrees.
- Bischoff comes out to talk smack about Flair
- During his monologue, the Horsemen arrive in the building, and lay out Scott Norton in the back with a lead pipe.
- Flair soon hits the ring, and chases Bischoff right out of the TWA Dome.
- Flair returns to the ring and promises, on the graves of Bruiser Brody and DIck the Bruiser, that Bischoff will die if he gets his hands on him tonight.
- During the tirade, the censors successfully bleep out words like "hell" a number of times, but they miss bleeping out "shitcan".
- Match 3: Lizmark Jr. vs. Wrath
- As I get back to the house, we get a Christmas Nitro Girls routine. The "normal" report will pick up from here.
- What do you get when you have a Nitro Party, a Bowling Alley, and someone getting DDT'd in the lane? You guessed it - something that sucks.
- Match 4: Eddy Guerrero (w/Art Flores) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
- LWO music brings out Eddy Guerrero and Art Flores.
- Eddy does his best Scott Norton impression and shoves the camera out of his face.
- The LWO music keeps playing, and Rey Mysterio Jr. makes his way down.
- Rey throws his XXXXXX-L LWO shirt over the camera.
- Eddy's on the stick, saying that he's losing his patience with Rey.
- Eddy insinuates that Rey's not a team player.
- Eddy says he taught Kidman a lesson, and will teach Rey one too.
- Rey starts off strong, hits an asai moonsault and turns it into a headscissors.
- The TV picture goes to a commercial briefly.
- Rey tries a vault over the ropes, but Eddy sends him from the apron to the guardrail.
- Eddy introduces Rey to the steps, and proceeds to berate him.
- Eddy with his slingshot somersault senton.
- Belly-to-back from El Presidente.
- Eddy locks on the Gory Special.
- Another commercial starts.
- We come back, and Rey is down.
- Eddy tries to suplex Rey from the apron into the ring, but Rey reverses it.
- Eddy, however, sends Rey into the rail again.
- Eddy hits a quick SuperFrankensteiner for two.
- Eddy starts to shred Rey's mask! The ref makes him break.
- Eddy hits a NICE release German suplex.
- Rey starts a comeback, but Eddy goes to the eyes.
- Rey ducks a clothesline, and headscissors Eddy.
- Rey talks to the ref, allowing Eddy to clip the knee.
- Eddy goes to work on the knee.
- The crowd insinutates that Eddy posesses the character trait of "Sucks."
- Eddy applies an STF as we go to commercial.
- As we come back, Rey is executing a Victory Roll, but Eddy reverses it for two.
- Eddy hits his brainbuster, and goes up top.
- Eddy takes his time, Rey moves away too soon, so Eddy does a forward-roll off the top, gets up, and clotheslines Rey.
- Eddy ties Rey to the Tree of Woe, and tries to dropkick him in the face, but Rey raises up, and Eddy crotches himself.
- Flores goes to help Eddy, moves away, then sees Rey up top and moves into position to take a senton.
- Rey tries a springboard dropkick, but Eddy avoids.
- Rey hotshots Eddy on the top, and gets a Rocker Dropper.
- Rey climbs up top.
- Rey flies off the top with headscissors, and Eddy rolls outside.
- Rey does a baseball-slide headscissors to the floor!
- Rey with a springboard vertical splash for two!
- Eddy hits a flapjack on Rey.
- Eddy powerbombs Rey for two. Where are the cops?
- Eddy tries it again, but Rey turns it into an armdrag.
- Eddy reverses a corner whip into a ref bump.
- Eddy with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
- Flores holds Rey, but Rey of course moves, allowing Flores to eat the Guerrero dropkick.
- Rey hits a springboard carpetmuncher.
- Rey goes for the pin, but the ref is still down.
- Kidman runs to the ring, and wants Rey to hold Eddy.
- Of course, Eddy ducks, and Kidman hits Rey.
- Eddy then rolls up Rey as the ref comes back into the ring, and gets the pin!
- Big Poppa Poop makes his way out solo.
- Scott, the geography major: "As I stand here in the Show-Me State of St. Louis, MO...."
- Scott talks about his recruiting mission, and says he has a special guest: Someone who set the baseball world on fire, and says he has Mark McGwire with him.
- nWo ref comes out on a bike, with Buff Bagwell dressed up like McGwire on the bike.
- Scott tells "McGwire" that he's one of "McGwire"'s biggest fans.
- "McGwire" says he's a big nWo fan.
- Scott says that "McGwire" is more of a redneck than he thought he was.
- "McGwire" pulls a bottle out and eats some andro.
- "McGwire" says he couldn't hit 70 home runs without andro, and says he could have hit about five homers without it.
- The crowd doesn't like that at all.
- Scott wants to have the original, 70-HR jersey from "McGwire".
- "McGwire" gives him the jersey
- Scott then bad-mouths St. Louis and the Cardinals, and lights a Cardinals jersey and hat on fire.
- So that was cheap heat - both literally and figuratively.
- Match 5: Norman Smiley vs. Prince Iaukea
- Whoop ass! Norman Smiley!
- Smiley (in a British accent): "Who's your daddy?"
- He'll be facing Prince Iaukea.
- Prince attacks at the bell!
- Prince with a back-elbow, and rollup for two.
- Smiley with a back-elbow of his own.
- Smiley blocks a roll-up, dances, blocks another rollup, and dances some more.
- Iaukea goes to the eyes.
- Iaukea with a shot to the groin.
- Iaukea with a torture-rack-setup into a Samoan drop.
- Smiley quickly goes for the Norman Conquest, but Iaukea gets out of it.
- Smiley starts an Irish whip, and the applies the hold again!
- Smiley also applies a bodyscissors, like Syxx's Buzzkiller, and gets the submission.
- Smiley celebrates the victory by smacking his bitch up.
- Match 6: Van Hammer vs. Barry Windham
- Van Hammer comes out in fully hippie mode.
- Some guy at ringside is dressed like Batman
- His opponent - Barry Windham.
- Windham starts off strong.
- Windham with chops in the corner.
- Windham hits a big suplex.
- Ric Flair hits the ring, and leaps into Windham in the corner.
- Hammer quickly decides to leave.
- Flair starts chopping Windham, and knees him in the groin.
- Flair biels Windham by the hair, and throws him over the top rope.
- Flair sends Windham into the rail, and chops him some more.
- Low-blow from Flair.
- Windham starts to fight back, but Flair REALLY goes to the eyes, digging at them.
- Flair whips Windham into the rail.
- Windham, back in the ring, begs off.
- Windham tries to fight back, but Flair no-sells and chops some more.
- Another low-blow.
- Flair makes it three with a knee to the 'nads.
- Flair pulls at the mouth, and punches Windham in the head.
- Flair with two punches to the groin, and then several to the head.
- Flair struts, and Windham covers his groin.
- Flair sets up for a Shattered Dreams kick.
- Vincent tries to run in, but Flair gives a back-elbow.
- Arn Anderson runs down!
- Arn absolutely stomps a mudhole in Vincent.
- Horace and Adams try a run-in, but Benoit and Malenko jump them from behind.
- The Horsemen and nWo brawl tho the back.
- Benoit beats on Adams with a trash can.
- In the back, security separates the Horesmen and the nWo.
- Security maces Benoit, and cuffs him!
- Malenko gets the same treatment.
- Adams and Horace don't get the mace.
- Back in the ring, Flair and Arn are standing alone.
- Flair says he's been a man, and says that his family depended on him.
- Flair: "You promise me the world, and you take my career, but [the fans] wouldn't let you do it."
- Flair: "Then, you put your lawyers on me, and you damn near broke me, and I came back because my 10-year-old said 'Dad, why don't you just beat the hell out of Bischoff and get back in the ring?'"
- Flair says that Bischoff stepped over the line on Thunder.
- Bischoff comes down, feigning sadness.
- Flair absolutely freaks out at the sight of Bischoff.
- Flair charges, but Bischoff gets security to stop him.
- Bischoff taunts Flair from behind the security staff.
- Bischoff: "Arrest him, so I can fire him".
- Security puts cuffs on Flair.
- Flair: "As God is my witness, I will kill you."
- Bischoff continues to taunt Flair, as we go to commercial.
- Match 7: Jerry Flynn vs. Booker T
- Jerry Flynn slides into the ring right as we come back from commercial.
- Then, Booker T. makes his way out! Yes!
- Booker breaks cleanly.
- Flynn ducks a clothesline, but Booker hits a forearm.
- Booker is wrestling with emotion tonight!
- Booker with a back-elbow.
- Flynn hits a spin kick.
- Flynn with a back-elbow and a kneedrop.
- Booker comes back with the axe kick.
- Booker with the 110th St. Slam.
- Booker with a belly-to-back, and a breakdance.
- Booker goes up top, and connects with the Missile Dropkick for the win!
- Match 8: Kenny Kaos vs. Lex Luger
- Kenny Kaos comes out, WITHOUT the tag belt this week. I swear, could this angle get any MORE inconsistent?
- Wolfpac music brings out Lex Luger.
- Kaos with a side headlock, and breaks clean on the ropes.
- Luger blocks a hiptoss, and hits one of his own.
- Kaos with a knee to the gut, and a bodyslam.
- Kaos mocks the "bunny ears."
- Luger with a hammerlock, and Kaos escapes with an elbow.
- Luger ducks a clothesline, and slams Kaos.
- Kaos goes to the eyes.
- Kaos hits an inverted atomic drop, and a back-elbow for two.
- Kaos chokes Luger against the ropes.
- Kaos slams Luger in the corner, and hits a legdrop from the second rope.
- Kaos pulls the straps down, and Tony acknowledges that Kaos is half of the tag champs. Jeez!
- Luger with the two clotheslines, and the forearm of eternal damnation.
- Luger signals for the rack.
- Rage comes on the apron, and distracts Kaos.
- Rage yells at Kaos, allowing Luger to rack him for the win.
- Rage wants some answers from Kaos.
- Kaos says that Rage cost him a match, and Rage actually says "You need to check yourself, before you wreck yourself."
- Match 9: WCW World Television Champion Konnan vs. Alex Wright
- To check and make sure that people's TVs still get the USA network, we get to see Gonnad's video.
- Fortunately, not the whole thing.
- Unfortunately, it means that we have to see the real thing.
- [CATCHPHRASES]
- Konnan talks about Alex Wright tossing his salad.
- Disco comes out with his Wolfpac shirt.
- Disco comes out to tell Konnan that Wright has gone crazy.
- Konnan doesn't like Disco wearing the shirt.
- Disco wants Konnan to show him some love.
- Disco says he'll prove he's in the Wolfpac after the match.
- Wright makes his way down to the ring.
- Wright starts off early with an armlock, and a takedown.
- Konnan reverses an armlock, and hits an armdrag.
- They trade pin reversals.
- Wright blocks a corner charge with a back-elbow, but gets met with armdrags.
- Commercial.
- As we come back, Wright is choking Konnan with his own chain.
- Wright applies a leglock, and stomps on the knee.
- Konnan rolls Wright up for two, but Wright gets up and tosses Konnan outside to the floor.
- Wright goes up top, but Konnan gets up and scratches.
- Wright comes down, and Konnan floors him.
- Konnan with his seated dropkick, followed by the rolling clothesline.
- This match really hasn't been "on" at all.
- The crowd is getting restless.
- Konnan with a shitty hurricane bulldog for two.
- Konnan hits the mule kick, and the carpet muncher.
- Konnan locks on the CRAPPY HALF-CRAB OF MILD IRRITATION for the submission win.
- Wright gets up, yells at the ref, and throws an early-Jericho-like tantrum.
- Konnan looks on in disbelief.
- Heenan: "He didn't get what he wants for Christmas."
- Wright runs rampant with a chair on the outside.
- Chris Jericho runs in and beans Konnan in the back of the head with the TV belt.
- Jericho beats on Konnan, and places the TV belt on his face.
- Jericho then Lionsaults onto the belt.
- Jericho does the "C'Mon Baby!" pin on Konnan.
- Jericho: "Arriba los Jerichos!"
- Jericho puts the TV belt on, and stomps on Konnan a bit more.
- Jericho gets Ralphus to put his belt on for him.
- Match 10: Disco Inferno vs. Giant
- YES! DISCO!
- Disco comes to the ring with a serious expression on his face - no dancing.
- Disco wants the mic, and cuts the music.
- Disco says that he's got to prove he's in the Pack, and challenges anyone from the Black and White. He specifically names Vincent, Horace, and Bagwell.
- nWo music brings out......
- Giant. Oh my.
- Giant mocks some disco dancing, and stalks to the ring.
- Disco stays in the ring to face Giant, and attacks before the bell!
- Giant shoves him away.
- Disco tries a clothesline, but Giant no-sells and shoves him to the outside.
- Disco goes for the leg, but Giant doesn't even move.
- Giant with a big punch.
- Disco kicks at Giant, but he's too overmatched.
- Giant with a big slap in the corner.
- Giant headbutts Disco.
- Giant kicks Disco, and hits an atomic headbutt.
- Disco kicks Giant in the gut, and tries the Chartbuster, but Giant picks him up and throws him away.
- Giant signals for the Chokeslam, and puts Disco up on the top.
- Giant absolutely PLANTS Disco with the SuperChokeslam, and gets the pin.
- Giant gets on the stick: "Page, Page, where art thou, Page?"
- Giant says DDP is a hard-working man, but he's a dead man at Starrcade.
- Giant makes some bug references to DDP. And the crowd goes mild.
- DDP is in the crowd.
- They trade some uninspired banter, and DDP goes through his normal phrases. DDP sounded like he had a cold or the flu, as there was a rattle when he took a breatch.
- Match 11: Scott Hall vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion Bill Goldberg
- Michael Buffer comes out to call our non-title main event.
- Hall comes out to no ring music.
- The champ comes out second.
- Buffer talks right over the end of Goldberg's music.
- Not much time left in the show.
- They lock up, and Goldberg tosses Hall back.
- Hall with his shoulderblock armlock and pumphandle.
- Goldberg with knees to the gut, and a fireman's carry.
- Hall's shoulderblock sends HIM to the mat, instead of Goldberg.
- The crowd reacts as Kevin Nash walks to the ring.
- Hall attacks, but Goldberg blocks an Irish whip.
- Goldberg blocks a bodyslam, and turns it into an over-the-shoulder powerslam.
- Goldberg jaws at Nash, and Hall attacks again.
- Hall hits his fallaway slam, and Goldberg no-sells it.
- Hall turns around, and gets speared.
- Nash pulls Hall out of the ring, and Bam Bam Bigelow rushes the ring to attack Goldberg.
- Nash helps Hall to the back, and Goldberg and Bigelow fight as we fade to black...