WCW Starrcade '98
Sunday, December 27, 1998

Howdy.
 
Usually, I start these pay-per-view reports with a big preamble. But the heck with it. After a tiring holiday season, I just feel like getting right to it.
 
So, without further ado: Starrcade '98!!!
 

• The opening montage rolls, we get the Goldberg-Nash hype.

• We get Tony, Iron Mike and Bobby. They hype the card, and throw to a QVC promo.

• Mean Gene's on the stick. Call my hotline, blah, blah, blah.

• By the way, my friends Red, WheezerŠ, Maddog & Greykat are here to watch.

• Gene keeps going on, and I pour a Guinness for myself.

• Match One: Cruiserweight champ Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
  • Juvi's out first.
  • Rey's next. He stomps an lWo shirt.
  • Kidman walks to the ring with a decent pop. Humperdido!!!
  • WheezerŠ: "Fight the good fight, Juvi."
  • Kidman and Mysterio agree to attack Juvi, and they do.
  • Juvi tries to clothesline Kidman and walks into a Mysterio tilt-a-whirl atomic drop.
  • Dropkick by Kidman.
  • Kidman whips Mysterio into Juvi.
  • Kidman and Mysterio fight, and Juvi cheers them on. They resume the attack on Juvi.
  • Great double-teaming on Juvi. Juvi gets the advantage.
  • Juvi chops 'em both.
  • Flips and switches -- these guys are moving faster than I can call this.
  • If you didn't see this, I'd suggest you order the replay.
  • So far, a great match.
  • Juvi tosses out Kidman and Mysterio, and dives on them both.
  • WheezerŠ starts talking about Triumph (inspired by Juvi's Never Surrender tights), and the guys start talking about the band.
  • Juvi pulls a Frankensteiner on Mysterio as Kidman holds up Rey.
  • Kidman kicks Rey as he bulldogs Juvi.
  • This is one of the best triangle matches I've ever seen.
  • WheezerŠ: "I saw Triumph in concert once. I was young, I was stupid."
  • Red: "That must have been like having a bladder infection."
  • Greykat (not a wrestling fan) starts talking about his new razor, the Gillette Mach 3.
  • He doesn't like it. I have one. After two shaves, I'm somewhat undecided.
  • Rey Frankensteiners Juvi off the apron to the floor.
  • Kidman supplexes Mysterio into the ring.
  • Kidman with a powerbomb on Juvi.
  • Iron Mike Tenay: "There's been something like 25 near-falls so far."
  • The cruisers are slowing a bit.
  • Rey ducks and Kidman flies outside.
  • Rey with an Asai moonsault on his opponents.
  • Rey inside with a springing top rope Frankensteiner on Juvi.
  • Kidman back in to break up a pin.
  • Juvi vaults Rey onto Kidman. Another Frankensteiner.
  • Kidman pancake on Juvi. Rey stops the pin.
  • Rey scissors Juvi and pulls him out.
  • Kidman to the top. Shooting star press on them both.
  • Kidman almost missed.
  • Boos start up a few seconds later.
  • The boos are for Eddy Guerrero, who is coming to the ring.
  • The ref is jawing with Guerrero until the ref turns to Mysterio.
  • Eddy breaks up a Kidman pin on Juvi.
  • But Kidman gets the pin anyway.
  • Humperdido!!!
  • WheezerŠ: "Like a Triumph concert, all good things must come to an end."
  • Eddy reams out Rey and Juvi. He slaps Juvi and calls him a moron.
  • "You can't beat a cream-puff. You can't beat a sissy boy."
  • Eddy shoves Juvi on his ass and speaks a little Spanish.
  • Eddy says he's doing the best he can.
  • Juvi's crying.
  • Eddy challenges Kidman to a title match.
  • Kidman had gone back to the dressing room. He re-emerges and accepts.
  • Kidman wants the match -- right now. Eddy says he needs to warm up.
  • After a bit of yakking, Eddy takes the match.

• Match Two: Cruiserweight title: Kidman vs. Eddy Guerrero
  • Eddy with offense early. A couple of pin attempts.
  • Eddy with major chops.
  • Pancake by Eddy.
  • Eddy with an abdominal stretch.
  • Red: "Whatever happened to Toto?"
  • Huh?
  • Eddy goes outside and shoves Juvi and Rey.
  • Kidman scissors Eddy. Eddy responds with a kick.
  • Kidman turns a whip into a dropkick.
  • Kidman puts a clubberin' on Eddy.
  • Eddy with a chop block.
  • Eddy locks Kidman in a modified rack.
  • WheezerŠ: "Is El Dandy on the card tonight?"
  • Kidman outside. He reverses a whip to the rail.
  • Eddy throws Kidman into the ringpost.
  • Back inside. Eddy stomps Kidman.
  • Kidman reverses a whip. Bulldog.
  • Kidman with a beatdown in the corner.
  • Sleeper by Kidman. Jawbreaker by Eddy.
  • Juvi leans into the ring.
  • Kidman with punches, a whip and a clothesline.
  • Eddy takes off his boot and nails Kidman with it.
  • The ref was distracted.
  • Two count.
  • Brainbuster by Eddy.
  • Eddy goes up for the frogsplash. Kidman meets him at the top.
  • Superplex by the champ. Two count.
  • Eddy back to the knees.
  • Eddy works on Kidman's leg. He grabs the rope for leverage, and Mysterio hits him with Eddy's boot.
  • Eddy with a springing Frankensteiner.
  • Eddy looks funny with only one boot on.
  • Kidman recovers. Faceslam.
  • Kidman with a legdrop.
  • Eddy recovers. He puts Kidman on the top.
  • Juvi pulls Kidman down, crotching him on the top.
  • Rey does the same to Eddy.
  • Kidman with a shooting star press and a pin.
  • Humperdido!!!

• Match Three: Norman Smiley vs. Prince Iaukea
  • Wheezer: "Nothing like a pay-per-view with Norman Smiley."
  • Maddog loves Smiley.
  • Red goes to the fridge and gets a Molson Export for himself and WheezerŠ.
  • Red's also eating candy canes. Yum!
  • Iaukea with a quick pin attempt.
  • Iaukea oversells a slap to the back.
  • Iaukea with a bad corkscrew legwhip.
  • They go outside. They go back in.
  • WheezerŠ salutes the match and toasts Starrcade. "I wonder what the poor people are doing?"
  • Smiley with another chop. Uppercut.
  • The announce team doesn't call the match. They promo Flair and Bischoff.
  • Smiley with a weird arm-leg lock.
  • Red: "This is horrid."
  • WheezerŠ: "The beer or the match?"
  • Smiley takes control and dances.
  • Figure four headlock by Smiley.
  • Smiley with a good kneedrive.
  • WheezerŠ starts singing The Macarena, but substitues "Macarena" with "Iaukea."
  • Heyyyyyyyyy Iaukea!!!
  • Smiley with more locks.
  • Iaukea with a brawling attack.
  • Smiley reverses a suplex attempt.
  • Smiley jiggles his boobs.
  • Butterfly suplex by Smiley. Not bad.
  • Smiley with an armbar. And sits on his face.
  • Chops by Iaukea.
  • Smiley with a trip. More dancing.
    
  • Iaukea with a northern lights suplex.
  • Smiley takes control. Variation on a rack.
  • Smiley stretches Iaukea. It's like a game of Twister.
  • Smiley stomp. The second of the match.
  • Kicks.
  • Iaukea with a reverse headbutt to the little Smiley.
  • The crowd has died down after Kidman's great openers.
  • More dancing.
  • Iaukea with more brawling.
  • Smiley rolls over a vault by Iaukea. Kick out.
  • Smiley reverses a whip into a chicken wing.
  • Tap out.
  • WheezerŠ says that Smiley's shoulders were down in the chicken wing. He wants Iaukea to be given the match.

• Here comes Scott Hall.
  • He's wearing an Outsiders t-shirt.
  • "Hey, yo."
  • Hall gets the cheap heat by saluting Washington.
  • He talks about how bad 1998 was. Says it was his fault.
  • Says he lost everything he ever cared about.
  • Red wants to send Scott a Molson Export.
  • Hall talks about Kevin Nash, and how he has something to prove to himself.
  • Hall: "1999 is my year."
  • He leaves.

• Match Four: Ernest Miller (with Sonny Onoo) vs. Saturn
  • Miller jaws with the crowd on his way out.
  • Miller works the microphone.
  • Saturn comes out. Y-M-C-A! It's fun to be at the Y-M-C-A!
  • Miller takes the stick again. He's giving Saturn a chance to leave to avoid a beating.
  • Miller turns around and counts to five.
  • Saturn decks him.
  • Miller outside. He baseballs slides back in, and doesn't get as far as Saturn.
  • It looks pretty funny.
  • Red: "He looks like a carp on a dock."
  • Miller gets beaten up a bit and stalls.
  • Miller bows to Saturn as a ploy, and Saturn kicks him in the mush.
  • Miller gains control and plays the crowd.
  • Miller with some katas.
  • Pin attempt. Two count.
  • Quick rings of Saturn. Escape.
  • Saturn with some great mat wrestling.
  • Miller outside. Stalling.
  • Miller ducks Saturn. Kick.
  • Two count.
  • Miller with some punches. Does he know any wrestling moves?
  • Saturn with a reverse suplex.
  • Saturn with a snap belly-to-belly suplex.
  • Saturn misses a top rope.
  • Miller was down. But The Cat came back.
  • Miller calls in Sonny.
  • Onoo misses a kick. Of course.
  • Miller hits Onoo, Saturn uses the opening to lock on the Death Valley driver.
  • Maddog: "The cat's in the bag."
  • And so he is. Saturn gets the three-count.

• Mean Gene welcomes Ric Flair.
  • Big pop.
  • "MEEEEEEEEEEEAN -- WHOOOOOO! -- BY GOD, GENE. WE HAVE FINE-LEE ARRIVED!!!!!!!!"
  • Gene says the other Horseys have been banned from the building.
  • Red: "Shouldn't that be corralled?"
  • Flair is getting bent right outta shape describing what he's gonna do to The Bisch.

• Montage showing the formation of the nWo.
  • Nash and Hall's attack on Bischoff is shown.
  • They show Bischoff's nWo turn and various examples of his abuses of power.
  • It leads up to the Flair-Bischoff feud.

• Match Five: Brian Adams & Scott Norton (with Vincent) vs. Fit Finley & Jerry Flynn
  • What? Who booked this? Jerry Flynn?
  • Adams works Finley with some stiff moves.
  • WheezerŠ starts mocking Adams' days as Crush.
  • Fit misses a shoulder drive into the corner.
  • Norton in. He telegraphs a backdrop and catches a Fit boot.
  • Norton busts through a double-clothesline.
  • WheezerŠ wants Adams to give them a Hawaiian punch.
  • Adams works over Flynn.
  • Flynn with some kicks.
  • Fit's showing some spunk tonight. He appears to be the fastest man in the match.
  • Elbow to the shoulder.
  • Adams catches Fit and hits him with a piledriver.
  • Neckbreaker by Norton.
  • Norton with an avalanche to Finley.
  • WheezerŠ is still wondering about what happened to Toto.
  • Finley catches a double elbow, but responds with a jawbreaker on Adams.
  • Adams gains the advantage, and executes a gorilla press into a gutbreaker.
  • Flynn and Norton are in.
  • Flynn with some quick kicks.
  • Norton powerbombs Flynn.
  • Three count.

• Mean Gene is asking everyone for their attention and calls out Eric Bischoff.
  • The Bisch says "hi" to the Clintons.
  • He apologizes for all the pain he's caused, and apes Bill Clinton's "profoundly sorry" speech.
  • He talks about Flair's bad heart.
  • The Bisch says Flair is wrestling because he needs the money.

• Match Six: WCW TV champ Konnan vs. Chris Jericho
  • Jericho comes out with the title belt.
  • Jericho wishes the Jericho-holics a happy Jericho-holiday.
  • Jericho makes fun of Konnan's pre-match catch phrases.
  • He rhymes off an old "woman's pet, man's regret" speech that I last heard in Montreal from Pretty Boy Floyd Creatchman.
  • He tells Konnan to pull up his pants.
  • The Konnan video starts up, and then Konnan comes out.
  • Konnan does the usual pre-match speech.
  • The bell rings.
  • Jericho with a chop.
  • Leapfrogs by both men.
  • Low dropkick by Konnan.
  • Jericho with a spinwheel kick.
  • Jericho to the top and Konnan scratches his crotch.
  • He puts Jericho outside.
  • Jericho punishes Konnan on the outside.
  • Back inside. Jericho with a vertical suplex and the cocky pin attempt.
  • Jericho with a knee.
  • Konnan's wearing blue undershorts tonight. Just thought you'd like to know.
  • Boot choke in the corner by Jericho. Body slam.
  • Jericho to the top, and catches a boot on the way down.
  • Somersault clothesline and pancake by Konnan. Two count.
  • Jericho with a clothesline.
  • Konnan outside. He plants Jericho on the ring steps.
  • Back inside, Konnan gets a two count.
  • Jericho tries to move Konnan in to the Liontamer.
  • The ref goes down. Jericho hits Konnan with the belt.
  • Jericho slaps the ref awake. Two count.
  • Face slam by Konnan.
  • Konnan with the Tequila sunrise.
    
  • Jericho taps out.

• Match Seven: Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff
  • The Bisch is out first.
  • Flair follows to a big pop. Great to see him back.
  • Flair rushes the ring, and chases The Bisch around the ring.
  • He catches him, and beats on him.
  • Back in, Flair stomps down The Bisch. Choke.
  • Flair lays a clubberin' on him. Strut.
  • Punches by Flair.
  • Kneedrop by Flair.
    
  • "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
  • Flair stomps The Bisch.
  • The Bisch is bisching about his knee.
  • Flair works over the affected leg.
  • The ref distracts Flair, and The Bisch uses the opening to kick Flair.
  • Flair outside.
  • The Bisch goes back to the kicks and dances around the ring.
  • Flair recovers, The Bisch pulls some more kicks.
  • Low blow by Flair.
  • One more.
  • Flair rips off The Bisch's shirt, and goes to the chops.
  • Flair appears to be bleeding from the forehead.
  • The ref gets in the way and catches a hard Flair elbow.
  • Flair sets up Bischoff in the corner and gives him a kick to the groin.
  • Suplexes by Flair.
  • Flair is bleeding.
  • Flair jerks on Bischoff's leg. Figure four.
    
  • Flair's shaking the ref.
  • Curt Hennig runs to the ring and gives The Bisch a foreign object.
  • He nails Flair, and covers him.
  • Of course, the ref recovers.
  • 1-2-3.
  • Hmph.

• Match Eight: The Giant vs. Diamond Dallas Page
  • Page runs around before the match and works the crowd.
  • The Giant spits his gum at DDP.
  • DDP spits on The Giant.
  • Page with some brawling. He goes for a quick diamond cutter. Nothing doing.
  • They go outside where The Giant takes control.
  • He goes to punch DDP, but DDP picks up a garbage can to block the blow.
  • Ouch.
  • The Giant recovers.
  • The Giant breaks up the countout.
  • The Giant press slams DDP back in.
  • The Giant goes to work on DDP's left leg with elbow and knee drops.
  • He locks on a leg hold. DDP breaks it with an eye rake.
  • The Giant beats down DDP. Clothesline in the corner.
  • The Giant poses.
  • DDP struggles to his feet.
  • The Giant with a bearhug. Not a very tight one.
  • He lets it go.
  • DDP tries a diamond cutter. He's pushed into the ropes and powerslammed.
  • The Giant goes for the pin and picks up DDP.
  • DDP tries to get up.
  • Another bearhug.
  • WheezerŠ: "Export, Doritos and bearhugs. Oh boy!"
  • DDP breaks out of the hold with a bite.
  • The Giant with a chokeslam into a backbreaker.
  • Ouch.
  • The Giant throws DDP into the ropes. DDP with the diamond dream DDT.
  • DDP with a two count. The Giant tosses DDP onto the ref.
  • With the ref down, Bret Hart comes out with a chair.
  • Hart accidentally hits The Giant. He rolls out of the ring.
  • DDP covers, but The Giant kicks out.
  • DDP with a flying clothesline. He signals for his finisher.
  • The Giant catches DDP.
  • He sets him up on the top rope for the super chokeslam.
  • DDP shifts, and nails a flying diamond cutter.
  • DDP covers. Three.
  • Bret Hart looks confused and unhappy.

• Match Nine: WCW World champ Bill Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash
  • It's no disqualification. I smell something funny, and it's not the Molson Export.
  • Michael Buffer does the intros.
  • Nash out first. Will the booker become the champ?
  • Goldberg comes to the ring.
  • Nash grabs the belt.
  • They stare at each other. The crowd soaks it up.
  • Both work the crowd. Big pops.
  • Lock up.
    
  • Goldberg works Nash into the corner.
  • Nash with a headlock.
  • Goldberg with a reverse suplex. Nash outside.
  • Back inside, they circle.
  • They lunge. Nash with a knee and some forearms.
  • Into the corner, Nash with the hip checks.
  • Punch. Elbow. Boot choke.
  • Goldberg grabs Nash's leg and pushes him out of the corner. Wow.
  • They're on the mat. They grapple, and Goldberg goes for a submission lock.
  • Nash reaches the ropes.
  • Goldberg with some punches.
  • Nash recovers, avoids Goldberg, and chokes him with the boot.
  • Goldberg ducks a boot, and nails the spear.
  • Goldberg picks up Nash for the jackhammer.
  • Nash with a low blow.
  • Goldberg is down, hurt.
  • Nash whips Goldberg into the corner. He executes a side slam. Two count.
  • Nash with an elbow drop. Two.
  • Nash drapes Goldberg on the middle rope. Nash leaps on his back.
  • Goldberg looks like he's on his way to losing.
  • Nash works over Goldberg's back.
  • Goldberg with a back kick. But Nash recovers with an elbow.
  • Nash with a suplex attempt that Goldberg turns into a neckbreaker. Two count.
  • Goldberg sidekick.
  • Goldberg shows brute strength by picking up Nash on his shoulders. Slam. Two count.
  • Goldberg with a spinwheel kick.
  • Nash is down.
  • Crap. Disco Inferno hits the ring in a Wolfpack t-shirt.
  • Disco gets driven from the ring with a spear.
  • Bam Bam Bigelow rushes Goldberg.
  • Goldberg dumps Bigelow from the ring with a clothesline.
  • Scott Hall comes out in an event staff t-shirt.
  • Hall zaps Goldberg with a cattle prod.
  • Nash didn't see it. He picks up Goldberg for the powerbomb, and plants him.
  • Nash covers. We have a new champion.
    
  • Goldberg is twitching and trying to leave under his own power.
  • I like Nash, but this was a cheesy way to end Goldberg's streak and have the title change hands.

Mickey and his bud FredWo are dead on with many of their observations, and you might want to consider taking a look at their page.

Anyway, here's what Mickey thought about Starrcade:

• I'm reminded of Star Trek II after Kidman's first match. Eddie, after failing to help Juvi win the title, launches a perfect imitation of Capt. Kirk screaming out "KHAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!", when he yelled out "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" I guess this only means something to people who have seen Star Trek II.
• I'm thinking this was a repeat of Starrcade '89. Is Kidman supposed to be an "iron man"? Maybe he and Booker T can have "Iron Man of WCW" feud - a series of 7 matches would be about right.
• Apparently, the heel/lWo turn for Juvi means that he has to be Eddie's "bitch." Maybe Eddie should be wearing the "wife-beater" shirt... wait, he already is.
• Gotta love those production values in WCW. The biggest PPV of the year "in the history of our sport", with the biggest World Title match ever, and all they can come up with for the jumbo-trons is a picture of "snow", with a couple pieces of notebook paper with the wrestler's name on it?
• Sign of the night: "Ric Flair Is Starrcade."
• Worst sign of the night: a dumpy 40-ish "woman" holding up a sign that says "Ralphus- What About Me?" with little hearts all around it.
• So, apparently there were thousands upon thousands of fans clamoring for the Smiley-Nakamaki match, and the Norton/Adams tag match, but we don't have time for the Scott Hall-Bam Bam Bigelow match? We know both of them were in the building. Maybe if it weren't for all of the "Very Special Looks" TM. Who is the ad wizard who thought this up?
• I'm trying to establish the hierarchy of match descriptions in WCW. As we found out, "struggles" are greater than "battles". I'm guessing that is goes: skirmish, contest, "WarGames", battles, struggles. What might be higher than a "struggle", I'm not sure, but I need to find out.
• Signs that your booking sucks:
  5) Your name is Eric Bischoff.
  4) Your name is Dusty Rhodes.
  3) Your booker is ALWAYS your champion.
  2) Your undercard is consistently better than the alleged main event(s).
  1) You're willing to just let Chris Jericho leave, and job him out to a no-talent non-raza hack like Konnan.

Jericho? Yeah, I hope he's not going to be forced to leave because he's unappreciated.
 
Anyway, before I wrap this up, I just wanted to thank all the fans out there who took the time to visit my page this year.
 
And thanks also to Bill here at DDT Digest. He's given me a chance to promote my page through these reports.
 
My free time is limited, but I hope to do more of these reports in 1999.
 
And speaking of 1999, I hope you all have a safe and happy new year.
 
Take care,
 
-XD

Bill's arena report:

• There probably wasn't a whole lot that people watching the PPV on TV missed except for the very end (which I'll get to). There were no dark matches or anything like that.
• It looked to be a full house at the MCI Center. From what I've read, last year's Starrcade was the highest-grossing house WCW had had in their history up until that time. It's since been surpassed by the big Georgia Dome show and possibly some others.
• The crowd was digging Norman Smiley and was popping for his little dance during the match.
• However, generally speaking, the crowd was oddly silent during all of the matches, except for the Flair match and the Goldberg/Nash match. The crowd was really hot for the main event. Also, the best high spots during the triangle match were applauded...it sounded like the crowd from an ECW show.
• A very loud "Goldberg sucks" chant started one minute into his match.
• I had no idea it was Scott Hall in the Event Staff t-shirt until the replay on the TV in our box. The JPG I have is actually my taking a picture of the TV screen on the replay.
• What you probably didn't see at the end was Kevin Nash looking at Goldberg a little confused after it was all over. My vantage point wasn't that great, and I may be totally wrong, but it looked to be a set up for Nash not having known what Scott Hall was going to do, or regretting it.
• After the match, Nash took the mike and said that he lost his world title three years ago in Washington D.C. (that would be the WWF World Heavyweight Title to Bret Hart on 11/19/95 at the Capital Centre / US Air Arena in Landover, MD), and it was good to get it back here. "Peace out".
• Konnan, and only Konnan, came out to congratulate Nash after the match.
• In the lobby on the way out, there was a Goldberg lookalike talking on a cell phone. This guy had the whole Goldberg look going, and he was actually bigger than Goldberg. I don't know what the gimmick was, as the only thing it seemed to be doing for him was getting himself stared at.
• As my buddies and I were waiting to get out of the MCI Center garage, Rey Misterio walked by our car. I, exercising my creativity in thinking of something witty to say, rolled down the window and said, "Hey, Rey, great match". He nodded his head in acknowledgement but seemed surprised that I recognized him.
  Then, pulling out of the garage, two cars in front of us was a car with Psychosis, one of the Villanos, and another guy. The car directly in front of us was a car with Konnan and Hector Garza.