WCW Nitro - 1/11/99

• Sign that you're getting old - you watch VH-1, and find that you prefer it vastly to MTV because it actually plays freakin' videos. How sad is that? Over the hill at 23....

• On kind of a personal note, we're somewhere around the one-year anniversary of me doing pro-wrestling TV show reports for the Internet. Early January 1998, I noticed that the IWZ's Nitro Report was little more than match results. I wrote to them suggesting that they could do better, and Zoran wrote back saying something like "If you want to make it better, feel free." The rest, as they say, happened.

  I eventually started also doing WCW Saturday Night reports for DDT Digest (I don't even remember how I moved from "Random Mailbag Schmoe" to a TV reporter for DDT Digest), then moved up to DDT Digest Nitro in conjunction with the IWZ, and finally gave up the IWZ job to concentrate on DDT Digest.

  So, hopefully, I've kept you entertained on Tuesday mornings, and even gotten a chuckle or two. And hopefully I can keep you coming back!

  In a startling coincidence, I was coming off of Surgery #2 this time last year. Now, I'm recovering from Surgery #3. Spooky. I hope we're not starting a trend.

  If you're in the mood for some entertainment, you can read the first Nitro report that I have on record (my third or so overall) here. If you look closely at the Mailbag, you'll see a certain Aldo D., then just a mild-mannered wrestling fan. Who knew? :-)

  In fact, if you so desire, you can find all of my Nitro reports in one convenient location in the Nitro Reports section of Wade's Wrestling Stuff.

• A technology rant, if you weeeel.

  I swear if I see one more commercial from Microsoft where they say "The company that made your computer fast and reliable with Windows..." Fast and reliable my ass. If you want fast and reliable, go here or here. If you want buggy, overpriced crap, go here.

  The preceding has been a public service announcement by People Sick of Bill Gates' Crap.

  Those commercials are even more annoying than Cuba Gooding Jr. whoring himself out for "Pepsi One."

• It seems like the whole Internet has had their say over Tony Schiavone's classless remarks about Mick Foley last week. I don't have too much to add, but would like to reiterate that I can handle the feds sniping at each others' business practices (WCW harping on the fact that they're live, WWF calling WCW a retirement home, etc.), but WCW crossed the line when they talked smack about Foley, a guy who deserves any accolades that the business can give him. I'm sure Tony was told to say what he did by the WCW suits, and it looks like WCW got their punishement in the ratings.

  Jim Sullivan is an example of the Tony mail I got:

  Haven't yet read your report; am about to.

  Before I do, however, I had to say this to somebody, and your's is the first report I'm getting to, so you're it. Wanted to say this before I read it, so I'm not prejudiced.

  TONY SCHIAVONE SHOULD BE HUNG BY HIS PUNY LITTLE B***S!!!

  Imagine the absolute gall of that prick. "Don't change the channel to our competition. Mick Foley, who used to wrestle here as Cactus Jack, is going to win their championship. That'll put a lot of butts in the seats."

  More butts than you ever will you barely-literate, swill-shilling, endlessly-hyping, no-talent, fat son of a bitch. I hope your d*** rots off.

  Have a nice day!

  Thanks, Jim, but please - next time, tell us how you REALLY feel. Don't hold back on us!

  Barry P. from the Lodi Page (hey, where IS Lodi, anyway? Did the same people who got Brad take him, too?) writes in about the war of words, too:

  I agree that talking about RAW was a pretty shitty thing to do by Tony, but turnabout is fair play. On RAW all night they were making fun of WCW, saying that WWF's main events don't start at 2 to the hour (funny thing is, that's exactly what went down on Nitro). They also were praising their young talent, emphasizing the word "young". Michael Kole added a line about how their superstars don't just walk and talk. It looks like the Monday Night Wars are heating up again.

• For those of you who may be considering getting WCW Thunder for the Playstation, I found this post by K. Canzella in alt.games.wrestling that you may want to consider. He asks:

  Does it have these features?:

  • Invincibility for Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash?
  • Screwjob run in in every NWO match?
  • Play by Play by Tony Schiavonie(Booker T. executes a sidewalk slam! To the top! Flying Sidewalk Slam!)
  • Mute option to simulate the heat for a Scott Steiner match?
  • A hidden "Shoot Konnan" game?
  • Commercial breaks in the middle of cruiser matches?
  • Do sign nazi's kick people out of the crowd?
  • Is it impossible to beat an NWO member without being Goldberg, Sting, or another NWO member?
  • Does Sting leave the character list ever other month?

  Thanks for any info. I wanna recreate the WCW experience!

  For those of you who may be interested in WCW/nWo Revenge for the N-64, you may want to check a little Revenge project that I'm working on. It's a pretty big project to tackle, but I'm just that bored.

• Is it true that in Konnan's little rap song, he sings "Ashes to ashes, and back to dust....if the bookers had any sense, they'd run over me with a bus?" Or am I just hearing that?

• A couple of move questions:
  • Y'know the move that D'Lo Brown does as the "Sky-Hi"? The same move that Scott Putski uses as the "Putski Bomb"? The same one that Kidman uses, and that I often call a "split-legged spinebuster"? Does anyone know the name of that move? The folks on RSPW-M have pretty much come to the conclusion that it's called a "Rydeen Bomb," but I haven't seen it anywhere officially. Let me know if you know.
  • Also, I propose officially naming the style of piledriver where you set the guy up with his head between your knees, then grab him by the tights to pick him up and piledrive him, the "Foley Piledriver." What do you think? Let me know.

• Brian McGee gives us a hint as to the outcome of tonight's Giant vs. giant match:

  Did you notice the Giant has been removed from the Nitro opening and replaced with Goldberg? The greatness that is the Giant seems to be slipping out the back door.

• Finally, the DDT Digest Triple Threat of Chan, Charlie, and Matt make a long-awaited return to the mailbag:

  We have not checked in awhile and thought we would see how you were. We will be at the 1/11/99 Nitro from Knoxville and by Charlie's calculations there is a possibility for some air time. We will bring a Wade/Bill/DDT Digest sign of some sort just in case. Don't get your hopes up, Charlie has never been good at calculating. To give you an example of how I like WCW's direction, it will be the first Nitro I have watched since our last report. I still keep up with WCW through DDT Digest, though. Even with less viewing than normal, we still have coem up with some C & C & M ("Matt") tidbits:

  • We believe Chris Jericho's ally Ralphus was named after a character in the cult classic 1978 movie Bloodsucking Freaks. Ralphus is a balck midget. The movie was written and directed by Joel M. Reed. The movie features a theater director (Sardu) and his assistant (Ralphus) torturing nude women on stage. The audience thinks that they are witnessing excellent cinematography. This sadomasochistic director has plans for these girls that he kidnaps other than using them for his performances and fulfills his sick fantasies with him. Ralhus is one of the most vile characters in one of the most vile movies ever (there is a dildo in a hot dog in this movie, need we say more?) and we believe this is why Jericho labeled Ralphus.
  • We have another one of our infamous theories, this time pertaining to Rocky Maivia's tattoo of a bull. We believe this is attempt to portray him as a fertility figure. The bull has traditionally been linked to fertility, but of course our theory does not end there. Consider: His grandfather was High Chief Peter Maivia and his father is Rocky Johnson. Rock had to uphold the fertility image and this was his way of doing it, though we would prefer him to use the name Peter Johnson.
  • Scott Steiner turned on Rick Steiner at SuperBrawl VIII (2/22/98). They were still wrestling each other at the World War III pay-per-view nine months later (11/22/98). They could have had a baby in that time! (Note: For your own sanity, don't read more into that comment that you have to.)
  • During a University of Tennessee basketball broadcast, commentator Bert Bertlecamp noted that one of Tennessee's opponents was big enough to become a professional wrestler. Play-by-play man Bob Kesling replied that he was no Goldberg. This led to a discussion of Kevin Nash and the pending Nitro in town. Nash played basketball for Tennessee and both men were very familiar with him. In fact, Bertlecamp was a teammate. When Kesling noted that Nash might have made a more significant impact on Southeastern Conference basketball had he been as large as he is now, Bertlecamp replied, "Kevin left his mark on Knoxville in more ways than one."
  • Speaking of Nash, did anyone notice while he was booking without Hogan, his friend Norman Smiley scored wins at Starrcade over Prince Iaukea & then the following night defeated Chavo Guerrero Jr. on Nitro. Seven days later, Hogan re-emerges and Smiley jobs to Chavo. Bill noted in his Starrcade report that "The crowd was digging Norman Smiley and was popping for his little dance during the match." No matter who starts getting momentum Hogan will hold them down.
  • If you could not tell from the last comment, we (and I can speak for the rest of our crew) loathe Hogan. I wish it was not an angle and Ric Flair really was booker. If I were booker, I would book Meng vs. Hogan in a shoot. I'd pay to see that match. That may be the only match WCW could offer that I would pay to see Hogan in.
  • I don't know if it was telecast nationally, but our local CNN affiliate featured professional wrestling and interviewed Bischoff. They remarked how popular wrestling is now that 30,000 fans paid to see wrestling in the Georgia Dome when they could have watched the national championship football game free of charge. Speaking of which, are condolences go out to our friend Amanda, who was foolish enough to root against the Volunteers.
  • It has been brought to our attention that Hunter Hearst Helmsley attended college prior to wrestling and we were hoping one of the readers might know where.
  • We would also like to inform Digest readers of a special offer to display our loyalty. Chan and Charlie and Matt are offering autographed printouts of the award-winning Conspiracy Theory for the special one-time offer of $15 (shipping and handling included). E-mail Chan or Charlie for details.

• Finally, I want to thank everyone who sent in arena reports from Atlanta! However, I didn't have the energy to actually format and post them. Just so as your effort wasn't completely wasted, a DDT Digest shout-out to Hal Williams, Dan Wicker, Ty, WorldOPeek, and Jonesy.

  Again, thanks for sending those arena reports in, and my apologies for "dropping the ball." Keep 'em coming!

• We see Hogan from Thunder, dressed in stuff from Konnan's yard sale. Y'know, all the girlies say he's pretty fly (for a white guy).
  • Wait, no they don't. My bad.

• And we're LIVE from Triple Threat country (Knoxville, TN) for WCW Monday Nitro!

• We start the program with Mean Gene, who's got the cheap heat machine turned up to "Fusion"
  • Gene calls out the President of WCW, Ric Flair.
  • Flair styles and profiles down to the ring.
  • Gene wants to know who Flair's haberdasher is. But, Flair's not WEARING a hat...
  • Gene talks about Flair/Flair vs. Hennig/Windham.
  • Flair busts an artery on his "Meeeean whoo by God whoo by GOD Gene!"
  • Flair talks about the Lady Vols.
  • Flair briefly talks about the Souled Out match.
  • Flair says he had a meeting with TBS suits, and Hogan's signed up until 2001, so he's not going to Hollywood or the White House, he's going to work for Flair. Damnit, Flair, I thought you were on our side!
  • Flair calls down JJ Dillon, who has been reinstated as Chairman of the Executive Committee.
  • Dillon says that Hogan's first title defense will be at Superbrawl, but they won't announce the opponent.
  • Dillon announces the Souled Out main event: A Ladder Match between Goldberg and Scott Hall, with a Tazer suspended above the ring.
  • Flair calls out the LWO?
  • Juvi, Damien, Dandy, Parka, Villano IV, Rey, Psychosis, Silver King, and Garza come out.
  • Flair says Eddy is in the hospital with a broken leg.
  • Flair wants the LWO to take off the shirts, and jump on the WCW bandwagon, and they'll get the money, cars, women, etc. The LWO takes the shirts off and disbands. Rey is still rather nonplussed, and doesn't take his shirt off.
  • Flair says that we're one match short tonight, and he wants to wrestle. Flair challenges Curt Hennig tonight.
  • We take a look back, though, at the LWO-shirt-wearing Rey Mysterio leaving the ring.

• We take a special look back through time at Ric Flair, along with greats like the Funks, Thesz, Blanchard, Wahoo, Harley Race, Ron Garvin, Dusty Rhodes, Jack Brisco, the Andersons, etc.

• We come back with the Talking Heads.
  • They talk about the nWo blaming Giant for taking some of Hogan's heat away, er, or something.
  • Tony says that Bischoff has been removed as an announcer, and has a new assignment, which we'll have later.

• We see footage from the nWo beatdown of the LWO last week
  • Hey, here's an idea - let's break up a Kidman vs. Psychosis match with our requisite nWo clusterf**k. Thanks guys! Golly gee willickers!

• Mean Gene is back out
  • Hey, let's see if we can have an entire Nitro without a match! That'll win the ratings for sure!
  • Gene calls out Ambiguously Gay Saturn.
  • Saturn talks about Jericho and Dickenson screwing him. Er....
  • Saturn wants a rematch.
  • Jericho and Ralphus come out.
  • Jericho says that the records books say that Jericho has beaten Saturn twice, fairly and squarely.
  • Jericho says that if Saturn is out here crying, he should be wearing a dress.
  • Jericho agrees to a rematch, but if he wins, Saturn must wear a dress for the rest of his career.
  • Saturn: "I do a lot of things, but drag isn't one of them."
  • Jericho says: "No dress, no match".
  • Saturn finally agrees to the stipulation in order to shut Jericho's mouth.

• Match 1: Perry Saturn vs. The Cat (w/Sonny Oono)
  • Saturn remains in the ring.
  • Randy Anderson comes out to ref the match, but Scott Dickenson stops him, and says that JJ Dillon wants to see him in the back.
  • The Cat comes out to face Saturn, and moves quickly to the ring.
  • Saturn with a suplex on Kitty B. Badd.
  • Saturn has words with Dickenson, then clotheslines Kitty from behind.
  • Saturn punches Kitty, and Dickenson pulls him away. This allows Kitty to get a low-blow.
  • Kitty takes the advantage.
  • Tenay says that Dickenson and Saturn went to the same wrestling school, and Dickenson reffed Saturn's first match.
  • Saturn gets sent to the floor, where Oono gets his kicks in.
  • Saturn goes to attack Oono, and Kitty attacks from behind.
  • Kitty with a side kick.
  • Kitty with a cover, and gets a quick two.
  • Kitty goes to work on Saturn's left knee.
  • Kitty with a dropkick to the knee.
  • Dickenson wants to know if Saturn wants to give it up.
  • Saturn gets a boot up on a corner charge, and hits a suplex.
  • Saturn with a slam, and goes up top.
  • Saturn hits a frog splash, but Dickenson is distracted with Oono.
  • Chris Jericho runs in with a snow shovel, and attacks Saturn with it.
  • Dickenson calls for the bell, and raises Kitty's hand! The Cat wins.
  • Jericho has a dress, and tries to put it on Saturn, but can't get it on.

• We take a look back at Flair talking about Bischoff from Thunder.

• We get a local commercial here about The Rock showing up at "The Wrestling Zone" at Delaware's on Concord Mall on Friday, Jan 15, from 6-8pm, in case anyone in this God-forsaken state is interested.

• The Nitro Girls do their things
  • I swear, "Whisper" has to be sleeping with someone fairly high-up in the WCW/TBS hierarchy to get the face time she does.

• We look back at the Turner/Bischoff/Flair/Dr. Harvey Schiller meetings on Friday
  • We see Bischoff pull up in a limo, and accost the cameraman.
  • Bischoff's access card to the building doesn't work anymore.
  • The secretary makes him sign in, and an employee makes him wait in the lobby.
  • It appears that he's been waiting for a long time.
  • Bischoff talks smack about Jim Ross and the lack of WCW success in '91.
  • Flair is in Bischoff's old office, and has a purple robe hanging on the coat rack.
  • Flair moves Bischoff's feet off the desk.
  • Bischoff says that he enjoyed the Nash/Hogan segment.
  • Bischoff says that he knew nothing about the situation.
  • Flair says that over the next 90 days, he's going to make Bischoff's life as miserable as possible.
  • Flair wants to show Bischoff his next venture.
  • They go outside, and see the truck that hauls the ring around to the arenas.
  • Flair assigns Bischoff to the ring crew, and he has to ride in the truck to Knoxville, and help set up the ring before the show.
  • Bischoff reluctantly goes around to the passenger side, berates the driver, and gets in.
  • A nice little segment, but where's the wrestling?

• Mean Gene is out, with a cake? On a table?
  • Gene calls out Chavo Guerrero Jr.
  • Chavo and Pepe come out. Pepe still has a neck brace on.
  • Chavo tells Eddy to get well soon.
  • Chavo says Pepe's had a hard time lately, and it's his birthday today. He wants to do something nice for Pepe.
  • Chavo wants to sing Happy Birthday to Pepe.
  • Chavo, Gene, and the crowd sing Happy Birthday to Pepe.
  • Stormin' Norman Smiley comes out, and says he's upset about getting invited to the party.
  • Smiley says he wants to make amends to Pepe.
  • Smiley says he loves the Guerrero family, and just wants to be a friend.
  • Chavo says that Norman wasn't invited, and everyone has been abusing Pepe.
  • Smiley offers his hand in friendship.
  • Chavo refuses, but Pepe agrees.
  • Smiley attacks Chavo, slams him on the ramp, and runs Chavo into the guardrail.
  • Of course, Chavo gets his face run into the cake.
  • Some cake even gets on the camera lens.
  • Smiley slams Chavo on the table, and does the SMBU.
    
  • Smiley takes Pepe back with him. Chavo gives chase.
  • We go to the back, where Smiley is riding Pepe through the back of the arena.
  • Smiley goes outside, where there's a wood-chipper runnning.
  • Smiley throws Pepe in the hopper, and Chavo can only look on in terror as Pepe is reduced to dust.
      
  • Does anyone else find it odd that there's an unattended wood chipper running in back of an arena in a cement parking lot?
  • Oh, well, at least it's better than Sting with a freakin' forklift.

• We watch Raven and Jim Fullington playing games
  
  • Fullington says Raven should ditch Kanyon, like he ditched Saturn.
  • Raven's wearing two different color socks.
  • Raven wants his high school yearbook.
  • His mom says they moved it into the garage, because his grandma has his room.
  • Raven finds a bunch of Roddy Piper wrestling pictures. Can you feel them laying on the plot turns with a trowel?

• We go to the back, where a motorcycle gang is leading in a black limo
  • My God! It's the Wolfpac trying to be cool!
  • nWo White is waiting for them.
  • Hogan says nWo White was supposed to meet them at the Hyatt. nWo White isn't buying it.
  • Apparently, the motocycle gang is the Hell's Angels. Zzzzzzz....
  • The motorcycles lead the nWo right to the ring. Looks like we'll get a Hogan interview to oppose the start of RAW. Yay.
  • The Hell's Angels circle the ring.
  • Yes, you heard it correctly - one match in one hour.
  • Nash has the stick. You can't hear him over the cycles.
  • They cycles leave back down the ramp, leaving the nWo alone in the ring.
  • Hogan has the mic. He says they have backup.
  • Steiner is wearing the TV belt. Snicker.
  • Hogan agrees that he's under contract, and says he'll fight anyone in the nWo any night.
  • Stevie Ray is back in the nWo crowd tonight.
  • Hogan says he'll be President of the USA, and World Champion.
  • Nash shows he's still got the cheap heat touch.
  • Steiner babbles about DDP, taking time to make some lewd comments toward Kimberly.
  • Steiner will face DDP later tonight.
  • Mick Foley is on RAW right now. Wonder which of these two will put asses in the Nielsens.
  • Sign on RAW: "Mick Foley put my ass in this seat, Tony"
  • Hogan: "Blah blah blah nWo 4-Life."
  • Wolfpac music comes on.

• We take a look at the title change last week on Nitro
  • We even see Goldberg in the ring with the Atlanta Falcons

• Match 2: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kaz Hayashi
  • Rey Mysterio Jr. comes out, wearing his LWO shirt, and coming out to LWO music.
  • His opponent - Kaz Hayashi!
  • Hayashi with a shoulderblock, cartweheel, flip, missed lariat, and he gets caught with a flying headscissors.
  • Rey with a through-the-ropes redirect, but Hayashi nails a missile dropkick.
  • Hayashi lands a chop.
  • Rey sends Hayashi to the floor.
  • Rey with an over-the-top vertical splash.
  • Rey comes back in with a slingshot headscissors.
  • Lex Luger comes down, and beats on Hayashi. Hayashi will win by DQ.
  • Luger goes into the ring with Mysterio.
  • Luger tells Rey to take the shirt off. Rey refuses.
  • Luger kicks Rey, and starts beating on him.
  • Luger rips the shirt off, and tosses Rey over the top.
  • Rey holds on, though, and hits a springboard dropkick.
  • Rey with a top-rope cross-bodyblock.
  • Rey tries a Frankensteiner, but Luger catches him, and delivers a backbreaker.
  • Luger bitch-slaps Rey, and signals for the Rack.
  • Luger Racks Rey (and actually makes it look good).
  • Konnan comes down the aisle.
  • Konnan wants Luger to drop Rey.
  • Konnan wants to know whassup with Lex.
  • Konnan says that Rey's no threat, he has no titles.
  • The rest of the Wolfpac comes down.
  • Nash: "Konnan....lemme speak on dis!"
  • Luger attacks, and the nWo rips the shirt off.
  • Hall zaps Konnan with the Tazer.
  • Nash has some spray paint, and sprays Konnan.
  • The crowd starts chanting "We want Sting."
  • The nWo celebrates over the prone Gonnad.

• We take a look from Thunder at the creation of the Giant vs. Giant match

• Gene calls out Giant
  • On RAW, Road Dogg is wearing his "Look Mom, No Curse" shirt. Nice. In case you don't know, Road Dogg is Brad "Armstrong Curse" Armstrong's brother.
  • Giant admits that he fell for Savage, but he's still had it up to his 7'4" neck with Hogan.
  • Giant isn't fighting Nash for a spot with Hogan - he's fighting to kick Nash's butt, then he's coming after Hogan and the rest of the nWo.
  • Giant says he got wrapped up in the wrong thing, but he's going to unwrap himself from Hogan.

• Match 3: Lenny Lane vs. Booker T
  • This is our third match in the first half of the show.
  • YES!!!! LENNY LANE!!! WHIP ASS!!!
  • Lane says he's from the mean streets of Minneapolis, and that's tougher than Harlem.
  • His opponent - Booker T!
  • This should be a good match.
  • Booker shoves a dancing Lane, who is mocking him.
  • Booker with the "full armdrag and twist." Lane gets to the ropes.
  • Booker shoulderblocks Lane.
  • Booker hits a huge backdrop, and the flying forearm. Lane retreats to the floor.
  • Booker follows him to administer some punishment.
  • Lane avoids a corner charge, and goes to the eyes.
  • He gets his feet up on a corner charge, and hits a bulldog.
  • Lane celebrates.
  • Booker with a forceful kickout.
  • Booker FLOORS Lane with a clothesline.
  • Booker hits a spin kick.
  • Booker lands the Axe Kick.
  • Booker plants Lane with the standing spinebuster.
  • Booker then hits the Harlem Sidekick for the win.
  • Let's see, so far we have ref screwjob, nWo screwjob, and jobber squash. It's the biggest Monday Night in the History of OUR SPORT!!! BUAH HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HA HA HA!!!! HAHA HAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

• We take a look at Hogan vs. Nash.

• In case we successfully forgot, we take another look at Hell's Angels again.

• Match 4: WCW World Television Champion Scott Steiner (w/Buff Bagwell) vs. Diamond Dallas Page
  • Wolfpac music brings out the TV Champ, and Buffy.
  • Steiner takes time to insult the crowd.
  • DDP apparently has walking pneumonia. They could have at least come up with something more plausible, like clubfoot, or or trenchmouth, or webbed toes, or hammertoe, or most probably lice.
  • Bagwell tells the crowd to shut up with the DDP chants.
  • Page takes Steiner down, who complains about a hairpull.
  • Steiner with a shoulderblock, sending DDP into the corner.
  • Page with his armtwist shoulderblocks.
  • They trade slaps, and Page with a shoulderblock.
  • DDP hits a swinging neckbreaker.
  • Bagwell comes in, but DDP fights both men off. Inverted atomic drops for both, then a double-clothesline.
  • Page puts Steiner up top, but Buff holds Steiner, preventing the superplex.
  • Steiner with an elbow from the middle rope.
  • Steiner sends DDP to the floor, and Buff gets a chokehold.
  • Buff is on the mic, leading DDP cheers.
  • Steiner hits a Steinerline.
  • More chokeholds from the nWo members.
  • Steiner plants DDP with a big belly-to-belly.
  • Steiner locks on a chinlock.
  • Steiner punches DDP in the corner, but DDP does his requisite Hulk-up.
  • Steiner with a boot on the corner charge, then a Steinerline.
  • Steiner does pushups in the ring.
  • Bagwell does some more work on DDP on the outside.
  • DDP hits a discus clothesline back in the ring.
  • Steiner with a jawbreaker for two.
  • Steiner with his double-arm powerbomb for two.
  • Page Hulks back up.
  • Page gets his own foot up on the corner charge, and punches Steiner down.
  • Inverted atomic drop from DDP, and another discus clothesline.
  • Page hits the DDPancake.
  • Vincent comes in, the ref takes care of him, but Steiner pushes Page into the ref.
  • Bagwell throws powder in Page's eyes.
  • Steiner pushes Vincent into the blinded Page, who delivers a Diamond Cutter.
  • Steiner comes back with a chair, brains DDP with it, and locks the Steiner Recliner on the unconcious DDP for the submission win.

• We see Mike Tenay's interview with Gillbe..., er, Goldberg
  • Goldberg says he's been an athlete all his life, and he's made mistakes. But the people who rise above correct mistakes.
  • He made a mistake thinking his match with Nash would be a fair, one-on-one contest.
  • He guarnatees that in that one night, he earned an education. He got his doctorate in professional wrestling.
  • He promises that he won't make that mistake again.

• We see Bischoff hauling ring mats earlier in the day
  • He's got to answer to Klondike Bill! Yes!
  • Klondike sends Bischoff back for ropes. Bischoff isn't handling being subordinate to ol' Klondike very well.
  • Klondike offers Bischoff a wrench to tighten the ropes, but Bischoff's brought his own. Ol' Klondike praises Bischoff's thinking in bringing tools.

• We take another look back at Nash's title win.

• Match 5: Scott Hall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
  • Scott Hall makes his way to the ring to Wolfpac music.
  • Hall talks about seeing footage of the former champion Bill Goldberg.
  • Hall wants a survey: How many people want to see Goldberg get shocked one more time? The crowd doesn't much care for that idea.
  • Commercial.
  • Hall's opponent: Bam Bam Bigelow, quickly falling to the land of the de-pushed.
  • Bigelow shows that he doesn't want Hall's toothpick.
  • Hall goes to the eyes after some Bigelow power moves.
  • Hall with an avalanche clothesline in the corner.
  • Bigelow follows with an avalanche of his own, but misses a falling headbutt.
  • Bigelow with a clothesline, followed by another one.
  • Bigelow with a big suplex. Hall gets his feet on the ropes.
  • Disco Inferno makes his way down.
  • Bigelow hits a Samoan drop.
  • Disco has a Tazer.
  • Wrath shoves Bigelow off the top, and Disco hands Hall the Tazer.
  • Bigelow picks Hall up for Greetings from Asbury Park, but Hall zaps Bigelow with the Tazer, and falls on top of him for the pin.
  • Disco pulls Hall out of the ring, and walks with him to the back.
  • Disco is apparently taking on the late Louie Spicolli's role as nWo Pledge.

• More Goldberg interview
  • Standard sports clichés. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.
  • Goldberg says he's not surprised by anyone but Luger.

• There's been a big disturbance in the back. Bam Bam is mad at Wrath, and they've signed a Bigelow/Wrath match at Souled Out.

• We see footage from Nash dropping Giant on his head in the botched powerbomb last year.

• Nitro Girls.

• Match 6: Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair
  • Hennig makes his way down.
  • The President makes his way down.
  • Hennig with a headlock, and a shoulderblock.
  • Hennig with chops, but Flair will have none of it.
  • Hennig with a huge backdrop.
  • Barry Windham makes his way down. Dave Flair follows.
  • The two men go to opposite sides of the ring. Tony says the tape machines are running, but Heenan says "But nobody's running the machines!" Finally! Somebody admits it!
  • We come back, and Flair blocks a corner charge with a back-elbow.
  • Hennig catches Flair up top, and tosses him.
  • Hennig locks on a figure-four!
  • Flair breaks the hold by going to the eyes.
  • They trade chops.
  • Flair does a Flair Flop, and falls at David's feet.
  • Hennig challenges Dave to fight him.
  • Flair with a low-blow on the outside.
  • Flair suplexes Hennig back into the ring, and both men are down.
  • A double noggin-knocker.
  • Flair with eight punches in the corner, a chop, and tosses Hennig over the top.
  • Windham clocks Dave Flair from behind, bringing Poppa Ric out.
  • Ric clips Hennig's knee, and applies the Figure Four!
  • Windham comes in to cause the DQ.
  • Dave trips the heels, and throws his Dad a chair. The heels hit the road.
  • Poor Dave doesn't know what the hell he's doing out there. He makes Dean Malenko look like Roddy Piper on crack.
  • To add to the fun, Dave takes his shirt off, possibly attempting to blind the nWo members, allowing Ric to attack from behind.

• More Goldberg interview
  • It used to be "Who's next," when he's finished, the question will be "Who's left?"

• More Nitro Girls.

• Match 7: Giant vs. Kevin Nash (w/Scott Hall)
  • This is a new record for a three-hour Nitro. But it's not a good record....there have only been seven matches tonight. The previous "record" was eight, I believe. An average of just over two matches per hour. Sheesh.
  • Michel Buffer, of course, is out to waste our time.
  • Buffer: "....home of the NCAA Champions of the Universe...." Whatever, crackhead.
  • Time for Paul Wight's farewell job! (maybe)
  • Giant makes his way out first.
  • Giant was announced at 7'1". Isn't he normally announced at 7'4"?
  • Nash comes out, accompanied by Hall.
  • Buffer: "...he was a member of the former world team tag champions...". For $8000 plus expenses, and reading off of a cue card, he could do better.
  • Nash rips his shirt off, as Tony mentions Nash playing for the Vols.
  • They pace each other.
  • They lock up. Nash gets the advantage. Giant comes back with a headbutt, and kicks in the corner.
  • Avalanche clothesline from Giant.
  • Nash comes back with one of his own, and hits a Yakuza Kick.
  • Nash drops an elbow.
  • Hall gets a choke in, allowing Nash to do the choke splash.
  • Nash with knees in the gut.
  • Nash measures Giant, and hits a back-elbow.
  • Hall is getting his licks in, too.
  • Heenan: "Giant doesn't seem to be the Giant here."
  • Nash with a big bodyslam of Giant! Oh my!
  • Great power display from Nash.
  • Nash hits another Yakuza Kick.
  • Nash signals for the Jackknife Powerbomb.
  • Nash tries it, but Giant sends him into the corner.
  • Giant with a clothesline, and big boot.
  • Giant takes Hall down.
  • Giant whips Nash into the corner, whips Hall into Nash, then splashes both of them.
  • Giant with butt butts in the corner.
  • Giant headbutts both men.
  • Nash hits the floor, as Giant chokeslams Hall.
  • Nash has the wrench that Eric Bischoff left from setting the ring up.
  • Nash nails Giant with the wrench.
  • Nash then re-enters the ring, and gets the pin. Nash wins by pinfall.
  • Bischoff is at the announcing booth, and tells them to say hello to Kevin Nash, the "nWo corporate giant."
  • The rest of the nWo, all factions, comes out to celebrate with Nash.
  • Hall jabs Giant with the Tazer, and they get the spray paint ready.
  • They spray Giant, and we fade to black....

• Wait, didn't we see this two years ago? Whoops, my bad - I'm gone.

Chan and Charlie and Matt send the following arena report:

Yo Bill,

Even though it was the worst Nitro that I have ever seen, we've got a report for ya'. You'll notice that we found the show very boring, but meeting some of the guys at the Hyatt made up for it....

Matt, Elizabeth, Chan, Josh (my brother), and myself arrived at Thompson Boling Arena about 6:15. The whole reason of getting there that early was our hopes of finding a decent parking place since students were moving back into their dorms that day so the whole campus was a ruckus. Yes, I just wanted to say "ruckus." Some of you may say, "Who's Elizabeth?", b/c we've never mentioned her before. Well she's a little friend of ours who promised she would see wrestling with us sometime, so Matt and myself got her a Nitro ticket for Christmas.

As we entered the building, our (well, not Elizabeth) eyes began to gleam as I spotted a sign saying that there would be a Nitro Girl autograph session at 6:30. Matt is once again very disgruntled that there is no LWO merchandise. 6:30 rolls around and Kimberly, Whisper, Storm, and AC Jazz show up for the autograph session. I didn't want to pay $15 for autographs, so I just made my way up front and took some pics. This is when Elizabeth made her first comment towards WCW, "What are you guys drooling over? They're not that pretty, they're skanky." This drew Matt's response of, "But every girl looks better with a little bit of skank." Anyway, we got some grub and took out seats.

Now, with Knoxville having the stupidest fan base for wrestling, anyone could get a cheap pop. For instance, Wildcat Willy is almost booed out of the building until he whips out a University of Tennessee flag inciting a monster pop. This would be the case throughout the whole night as many of the wrestlers and announcers mentioned Knoxville being the home of the National Champions. If you noticed Nash looking towards the 3^rd level a lot, it was because there was a huge Kevin Nash (#43) basketball jersey hanging from the 3^rd level.

For the show itself, IT WAS THE MOST BORING SHOW I HAVE EVER SEEN. Matt even fell asleep during a segment. If I had been sitting at home watching the show, I would have been digging out navel lint until RAW came on. Fear not we, your Triple Threat, will note the spots that got a huge pop from Matt and myself as Elizabeth watches us in laughter:

• Flair was very nice as usual.
• Jericho is still the man. Punches towards the camera were great.
• We never laughed as hard as we did when Norman Smiley fed Pepe into the mulcher.
• Scott Hall playing with his tazer was very nice. You could hear the buzz throughout the building. (The tazer's buzz, not Hall's buzz....)
• I think that was about it as we left after Michael Buffer came out.

The Hyatt made the night though. We blew past the area where Norman Smiley was and headed to the restaurant to get a bite to eat. We arrived five minutes late as they had just closed it. Too bad because all the Mexicans sans Konnan were eating. As I am very tired right now I will make a long story short: We met and had pics with Kimberly, Spice (yes, Bill, we met Spice), EL FREAKIN' DANDY, Damian, Psychosis, and Rey Misterio Jr. You've never experienced Rey, unless you've met him finishing a bottle of Corona and playing with a kazoo....
Joyce told us she met Benoit and he began talking to Curt Hennig. Hennig had been running around like a wild man the whole night and we found out it was b/c he lost his wallet at the arena.

There ya go, Bill.