WCW Thunder - Thursday, January 14, 1999

YOUR TAKES STILL SUCK YOU MORON! WHY DONT YOU TAKE YOU THUMB OUT OF YOUR ASS WHEN TALKING ABOUT WCW. WHY IN THE HELL AM I WASTING MY TIME WITH A PETHETIC LOSER LIKE YOU? MAYBE IN THE HALL OF WISDOM, MY INQUIETUDE WILL HAVE A NEW MEANING, A NEW PERSEITY. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE MARKED BY SINUOSITY AND IGNORANCE. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN A LONG TIME VISITER TO THE DDT DIGEST AND HAVE TOLD MANY OF PEOPLE ABOUT IT. YOU CAN THANK ME AND ALL OF THE NUMORUS PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU POSSIBLE! YOU PSEUDOINTELLECTUAL!!!!

You like me!! You really, really like me!!!!!

• Mike Texada starts us off:

  I'm not sure if I'm putting too much into this but...if you watch Thunder's Jericho vs. Gonnad match, and you listen to Jericho's grunts when he delivers a kick or two... they sound an awful lot like Mankind's "rasha" noises when he does the same. Is this Jericho making a wcw vs. wwf statement? or just someone who watches TOO much wrestling have his imagination take over?

• Bill Fluty writes in:

  Aldo, Thanks as usual for the Thunder wrap-up. I was pretty ecstatic when they actually had a real tag team match, and announced it was the start of a tournament to determine new tag team chanmps. Tag matches have always been my favorite. It didn't even matter the participants were lower mid-card talent. It seems like a logical angle with the current Flair/Bischoff situation. They even mentioned that "Bischoff hates tag team wrestling", which appears to be true. I can only hope the belts will not be deep-sixed again when Bischoff inevitably regains the upper hand in the angle. I was disappointed they didn't talk about the tournament, i.e. how many teams, which ones, pairings, etc. But, wait, this is WCW, they probably don't know anything beyond the Saturday Night taping earlier in the week.

  The glimpse of the Kaos/Bobby Eaton team (?) has me wondering. I guess I shouldn't hold out for a reteaming of Eaton with Jumpin' Joey Maggs (does anyone know if my favorite enhancement talent guy is still in WCW?).

  I was very gratified to see Norman Smiley apparently set to start a fued with Chavo and Pepe. It's been great to see Smiley get something of a push lately. I think he's talented and has some charisma.

  To me, Bobby Eaton was one of those guys that I didn't like as a younger wrestling fan, but have a lot of respect for now that I have a little more wrestling knowledge. His time has gone a while back, but it's good to see him wrestling in some limited form.

  Oh yeah, is anyone else making an early comparison of this tag team tournament to that Cruiserweight "Tournament" a couple of years back to determine the first holder of that belt? I'm hoping there's no phantom matches this time around. If I knew any better, I'd keep track of such things. However, Bill beat me to the punch. :)

• Jim Beasley makes a note:

  Just a note on how stupid the fake "cattle prod" is. As Hall was shocking people last night, other members of the NWO were holding the person getting shocked. Well there is a reason police officers don't use these things to control arrested subjects, human beings are great conductors of electricity. Not only would the person being hit with the prod get a jolt, but also anyone who was making contact with that person. Also the "prod" being used would stop a human's heart, it's made for going through the thick, less conducive, skin of a bovine. The amperage of that unit , if given for a prolonged period. would pop the eyes out of the socket. You can set the unit to make all kinds of pretty sparks and have no shock value at all.

• Arucks sends in the following:

  I didn't think Thunder was all that bad, when you consider that it was basically a tool to set up all the new angles. They couldn't put that kind of crap on Monday, and nobody watches on Saturday. So Thursday gets to be soap opera night. And while the acting in the Raven soap opera may not have been good, they were all Oscar-worthy performances compared to the Goldberg/Elizabeth skit on Monday. I still think Kanyon is hilarious, especially in the Eddie Haskel role. I liked how, after "James" tapped him on the back, Kanyon jumped & did a flip into the pool.

  Actually, you know what my main thought about all this is? It's what James Fullington's character is going to be like. Since WCW isn't as hardcore of a product as ECW, Fullington's character should be toned down somewhat. Look at Raven and Public Enemy (during their WCW stay) as examples of this.

  Just as a side thought, wouldn't it be funny for Fullington to have the gimmick of smashing a carton of Silver King brand milk over his forehead and having a Pixy Stick in his mouth?

• Speak of the Sandman, Jason Kreitzer shouts out:

  Chastity's real name is Denise (don't know her last name.) I know this from a Justin Credible promo on ECW TV where he was yelling at her for trying to dress attractively as opposed to her usual look where she would wear pants and sneakers. Along with Lupus, she was one of Raven's valets in the final version of Raven's Nest in ECW. (Yep, a valet named for a disease and another named for a condition meaning "no sex." Raven sure knows how to name 'em.) Some months after Raven left ECW, she managed Paul Diamond in his brief unsuccessful run in late '97/early '98. Diamond feuded with Al Snow, jobbed a lot, drew no heat, and was dropped.

  BTW, the whole business with The Sandman is idiotic. In ECW, Raven and Sandman fought in bloody no-rope barbed-wire matches. Raven brought Sandman's wife (Lori Fullington) and son (Tyler Fullington) into the Nest and would have Tyler hit Sandman with a Singapore cane. It was a brutal, ugly feud. I wish they would just let Sandman be Sandman and have him take out Raven, Kanyon and the NWO with his Singapore cane. I would love to see Konnan's reaction to The Sandman, since Sandman beat the crap out of Konnan at ECW House Party '96, causing Konnan to leave ECW no long after that.

  I hate Raven and I hate his booking decisions.

• Derrick Hanna points out:

  One of the biggest topics of wrestling boards and chats has been the upcoming Sting makeover. But has no one noticed the Hogan makeover? Remember the way he was dressed on Nitro? Not the typical Hogan wardrobe. And tonight on Thunder, he had the big jeans, Tennis Shoes and cool Plaid shirt working. Hogan had to screw the look up with Harley Davidson printed on the hoody, but the makeover is apparent. I think that was the whole plan, have Hogan leave so that he can be made over. He even said "Wolfpac in the House!" He said it with absolutely no emotion, but it was still surprising. This Nash-Hogan NWO Wolfpac might be pretty good after all.

• We are three days away from Souled Out.
• In our main event we will see Chris Benoit and Steve McMichael take on Barry Windham and Curt Hennig.
• The announcers talk about the Goldberg/Hall taser match.
• Also, the tag tournament continues tonight.
• They talk about Ric and David Flair.

• Okay, so I'm a week late, sue me. :)

• Scott Putz-ski comes out to a round a boos. The way it should be.
• Man, in his brief stay with WCW thus far, Bigelow has really fallen. He's gone from feuding with the former World Champion to making mince-meat out of guys like Jerry Flynn and Putz-ski.
• Bigelow starts in control.
• Bigelow misses a corner charge.
• Bigelow reverses a Putz-ski whip and runs into the turnbuckle.
• Bigelow hits a spinning heel kick.
  • And if it was Doc Dean, it would be a spinning heel click. Where's he been anyway? I kind of dug him for a while.
• Bigelow elbows Putz-ski on the head.
• Bigelow scoop slams the pirate and misses the headbutt dive.
• Putz-ski lands some punches and runs to the ropes.
• Bigelow powerslams Captain Ron for two.
• Bigelow puts Peg-Leg in a chinlock.
• Putz-ski elbows his way out and goes to the ropes.
• Putz-ski runs into a raised leg. Arrrr!
• A loud Goldberg chant erupts from amongst the plebians.
• Bigelow lands a forearm to the head.
• See above line.
• Big vertical suplex by Bigelow.
• Putz-ski tries a comeback but becomes the victim of a jawbreaker.
• Some headbutts by Bigelow.
• Lateral press by Bigelow gets a two-count.
• Punch, snapmare, leg drop.
• Putz-ski has a brief comeback segment.
• Bigelow whips Polish Power into a choke bear hug.
• Bigelow throws Putz-ski down to the mat.
• Snapmare into a chinlock.
• More Goldberg chants.
• Putz-ski does a jawbreaker of his own to escape.
• Bigelow runs into Putz-ski.
• A scoop slam and a headbutt drop follow.
• Bigelow covers for two.
• Bigelow whips Putz-ski and runs into a boot.
• Putz-ski floors Bigelow with two lariats.
• Putz-ski runs to the ropes but is caught by Bigelow.
• Bigelow nails the Greetings From Asbury Park for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Bam Bam Bigelow via Greetings From Asbury Park in 6:09.

• Yes! Nor-man Smi-ley!
• Smiley's British accent cracks me up.
• Even better, the two guys in the yellow "Norman Smiley Fan Club" T-Shirts are in the arena.
• Smiley jiggles his pecs after entering the ring.
• He'll be facing Prince Iaukea in a rematch from Starrcade.
• Some holds start the match including the legendary full armdrag and twist.
• Iaukea holds Smiley on the mat with a headlock.
• Smiley whips Iaukea and meets a shoulderblock.
• Iaukea covers for two.
• They tease a lockup and Iaukea trips Smiley.
• Smiley flips Iaukea into an armbar.
• Smiley is whipped but gets a shoulderblock in.
• Smiley sends Iaukea in the corner and does his spinning bodyslam.
• Smiley does his wiggle.
• Snapmare into a chinlock by Smiley.
• Smiley turns Iaukea so that pressure is applied on his torso.
• Commercials...
• We come back to Smiley dropping Iaukea on the top rope.
• A fall-away dropkick sends Iaukea outside.
• Smiley then smacks his bitch up.
• Iaukea goes on the apron and headthrusts Smiley in the midsection three times.
• Iaukea goes to the top rope and lands a crossbody.
• Iaukea whips Smiley into a back body drop.
• Smiley reverses a corner whip and does a clothesline.
• Smiley does the SMBU again.
• Smiley kicks Iaukea near the left ankle.
• European uppercut.
• Smiley puts on a headscissors on the mat.
• Iaukea kicks Smiley in the face while on the mat.
• Iaukea drives a shoulder into Smiley.
• Iaukea hits a back elbow, goes to the turnbuckle and lands a crossbody for two.
• Smiley sends Iaukea down, whom goes outside.
• Smiley slams Iaukea on the safety carpet.
• Iaukea trips Smiley as he is grabbed.
• Iaukea sends Smiley to the post and safety rail.
• Back inside, Smiley has the advantage.
• Smiley lands a chop in the corner.
• Smiley chops Iaukea on his back.
• Vertical suplex for two.
• Smiley does another mat headscissors.
• Smiley gets some kicks in and follows up with two European uppercuts.
• Smiley goes for the eyes.
• Smiley sends Iaukea head-first into the post.
• Smiley whips Iaukea into a back elbow for two.
• Smiley whips Iaukea into a corner and tries his spinning bodyslam.
• Smiley stalls while doing it and Iaukea gets out of it.
• Iaukea has a short house o'fire segment.
• Smiley does a double underhook slam.
• While setting up for the Norman Conquest, Smiley does a brief SMBU.
• Smiley locks on the Norman Conquest for the win!
• YOUR WINNER: Norman Smiley via the Norman Conquest in ~9:05.
• Post-match, Smiley smacks his bitch up some more.
• I'm still in some shock that Smiley is getting a push. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. :)

• Gene calls out Jimmy Hart.
• Hart says he is the greatest manager in the history of this sport.
  • Oh, my God, he's been talking to Schiavone. Help!
• Hart talks about the tag team tournament.
• Hart says he has reunited the tag team formerly known as the Faces of Fear.
• Hart calls Meng and Barbarian "The First Family" and brings them out.
• Hart says that his charges will be the new tag team champs.

1. Flair telling Bischoff on Thunder to meet him in his office the next morning;
2. Bischoff meeting Flair in said office;
3. Flair pointing out Bischoff's new job as a member of the ring set-up crew;
4. Bischoff setting up the ring; and
5. Giant having a wrench thrown into his plans of victory on Nitro.

• During Jericho's entrance we get a camera shot of Ralphus' teeth. Ugh.
  
• Jericho gets a mic from David Penzer.
• Jericho is feeling generous tonight and offers the crowd to give him a round of applause.
• The crowd boos him, but we hear clapping from Heenan.
• Jericho's sole purpose is to serve his Jerichoholics.
• Jericho talks smack about Perry Saturn.
• Jericho tells Saturn that he will be a bald guy in women's clothing.
• Jericho thinks that after Souled Out, Saturn will have to retire.
• Jericho says that Saturn does not have the attitude or the legs to wear a dress, daddy-o!
• Sigh. Van Hammer. If Jericho has to job this match...
• Van Hammer throws his empty water bottle on the entryway before getting into the ring. Isn't littering against hippie philosophy?
• Hammer starts with a headlock.
• Hammer gets in a shoulderblock.
• Jericho lands a dropkick and goosesteps.
• Jericho chops Hammer.
• Hammer reverses a whip and does a clothesline.
• Hammer mocks Jericho's goosestep.
• Jericho reverses a corner whip.
• Jericho attempts a monkey flip and is put on the turnbuckle by Hammer.
• Hammer chokes Jericho on the turnbuckle and slams him down.
• Jericho eyerakes Hammer and does a spinning heel kick.
• Vertical suplex by Jericho.
• We see a shot of Saturn out on the entryway.
• Jericho levels Hammer in the corner.
• Jericho snapmares Hammer and follows up with a chinlock.
• Jericho whips Hammer and misses a lariat.
• Jericho does a dropkick and hits air as Hammer holds onto the ropes.
• Hammer has control briefly.
• Jericho comes back and lands a headbutt.
• Jericho gets kicked in the head, but does a belly-to-back.
• Jericho goes to the top turnbuckle and gets crotched when Hammer shakes the top rope.
• Hammer does a superplex from the top for two.
• Jericho tries a lariat but gets cobra-slammed for two.
• Hammer misses an enziguri.
• Jericho then puts Hammer into the Liontamer for the victory!
• YOUR WINNER: Chris Jericho via the Liontamer in 4:25.
• Post-match, Saturn applauds Jericho's effort.

• Featured talent: Meng, Disco Inferno, Wrath, and another match in the tag team tournament.

• Goldberg really sounds a lot better when he isn't yelling or screaming.