WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 02/22/99

Well, the neverending party that is my life seems to have settled down for a minute or two, and this report is coming to you from the new secret DDT Digest Monday Nitro training compound in Raleigh, NC!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I'll go down match-by-match and give my feelings, based on the various reports I've read:

• Disco vs. Booker: Apparently a well-worked match, and the face went over. The only real problem I see with this is that the issues between Disco and Booker weren't hyped well.
• Jericho vs. Saturn: As much as I like Jericho, the non-crackhead plan would be for Saturn to win the blowoff match against the heel who put him in the dress. Instead, we get an "eh" ending that doesn't resolve anything. Plus, the Dickenson angle seems destined to live again.
• Kidman vs. Chavo: Apparently, a decent match, but below what these guys can do. Kidman's been a great champion, but it's about time for him to drop the belt. I suggest that he drop it to Psychosis. Psychosis can then feud with Juvi, Blitzcreig, the lucha guys, etc., while Kidman and Chavo have a great feud.
• Benoit/Malenko vs. Hennig/Windham: Mmmmm.......Clusterf***. Both Hennig and Windham are all-time favorites of mine, but they couldn't draw heat today with a bucket of gasoline and a book of matches. Hennig and Windham are shells of their former selves, while Benoit, and to some extent Malenko, are the present and future of wrestling. Plus, Benoit and Malenko have the crowd momentum coming off the "Headbutt off the cage" match. Bah. And can ANYONE tell me what crackhead came up with that second fall after what was 10-15 minutes of decent action in Fall #1?
• Outsiders vs. Konnan/Mysterio: Of all the "heels have to win" decisions tonight, this was probably the most reasonable. Apparently, Mysterio is due to lose his mask in Mexico soon, so he probably needed to lose it here. Plus, Gonnad and Mysterio were outmanned. Nash apparently bumped, etc. Not a bad result.
• Steiner/Page: Does ANYONE care about this angle? It's only given us bad matches, bad interviews, and bad angles involving stalking and abuse of someone else's wife. And if the stips hold true, we may be treated to the joy of Kim & Steiner for the next month. Yay. Hopefully Page will have gotten over his walking pneumonia by then, huh?
• Hall/Piper: By all accounts, this could be worst match of the year. We missed out on Benoit/Bret for THIS? It takes three nWo members, but Hall can get a screwjob pin on a cripple.
• Goldberg/Bigelow: There were mixed reviews on this one, so I can't get a good sense as to the full effect. But Goldberg needs a solid angle soon.
• Hogan/Flair: We must all bow to Hogan, the lord and savior of pro wrestling. At least, that's what the bookers in WCW must think. I, on the other hand, say they can pretty much blow me. You have Ric Flair, the consumate professional, who has come back to WCW with a firestorm of legit heat, due to the lawsuit. He fights back against the odds, but gets stymied by the nWo at every turn. His wife gets kissed, his son gets beaten, he gets ambushed in a field and has the tar kicked out of him. The evil Hogan is cocky, arrogant, and needs to be put in his place. So, what do you do?

  Of course! Have Hogan kick the tar out of Flair, no-sell most of his offense, and get Flair's own son to turn on him for no reason! Because God forbid Hogan should do what's best for the company, rather than for his saggy orange ass. God forbid the face should cleanly win the big blowoff match of the red-hot feud.

  I'm serious. I'm almost fed up with WCW and their crackheaded booking plan. They have the greatest collection of talent in wrestling history, and they piss it all away to protect Hogan, Nash, and their little cadre of buddies. I didn't order this PPV because I KNEW what was going to happen - how sad is that?

  So, not that you care, but WCW is on their last legs with me. I'm sick of what they're doing. And it doesn't look like they're inclined to change. As much as I dislike the WWF, they have two things going for them: A) they seem willing to push some talent under age 40, and B) they seem to understand that the heels exist for the faces to go over.

  Bah.

• Shiryu corrects me on a move:

  You wrongly called the move Blitzcreig missed at the end of his match a Stardust press, and really it was a Cancun Tornado. A stardust press is a moonsault turned into a 450 splash. Not like this was a big thing just ::Scott Hall Voice:: Thought I'd smarten you up :)

  D'Oh! You'd think with as much as I play "Han Zo Mon" in WCW/nWo Revenge, I'd know a Stardust Press when I saw it!

• Tony wrote:

  You mentioned the 'Scotty Levy's Day Off' bit didn't do a lot for the character/angle development, but I'd have to disagree - I found the 'tude Raven was putting forward there much more interesting and entertaining than his usual depressive nature. I think it shows a little more complexity to his persona, a side that I'd like to see more often in his wrestling. For some reason, I all of a sudden like Raven again! (The Versace bit was classic - Raven's delivery made me laugh every time I heard it.) I'd like to see them continue with this in the ring - maybe have Raven play the slightly snobbish rich kid more often, or something. His old depressed image was getting stale, it's time to see something else...

• "Eagle-Eye" Dan wrote:

  Just a little note about your Nitro report. First off, a great job as usual, but I was a little surprised that you didn't notice something during the Bam Bam Bigelow interview with Gene Mean. During most of the interview he was pumping his hand at the camera and he had the Triple Threat sign with his left hand. In case you didn't know that was the stable he was in with Shane Douglas and Chris Candito in ECW. Just a little thing that I thought was neat, and I was surprised that nobody picked up on it. Keep up the good work, and GO BUCKS!

• Chris Black writes:

  I'm watching Nitro right now and Arn Anderson gets arrested for attacking Disco Inferno backstage. ARRESTED?!? This is !#@*& Wrestling! Backstage attacks happen ALL the time, what makes this incident so special that he gets arrested?!? How come when Bret Hart used to attack DDP he wasn't arrested? How come The Rock wasn't arrested at Heat last night when he attacked ManKind (I saw a security officer sitting down in the backround there doing nothing at all)? Well, I guess I shouldn't be that mad since my boy Jerry Flynn got a clean win over Saturn.

  Which reminds me, I was going to make a Jerry Flynn tribute page/fan club, but honestly, I can't get any information on the man!

• They talk about the heels' night out.
• Tony is talking about "we've seen Torrie Wilson on this program..." WTF? They never even acknowledged her little skits. My head hurts.
• Tony will mediate a discussion with Ric Flair vs. David Flair tonight.
• We go back to the interview room in the back. It looks like a living room.
• We go to UCal-Berkley. Riki Rachman, who I vaguely remember from MTV, is at UCB for the first of five weeks of WCW Monday Nitro Spring Breakout.
• The Nitro girls are at UCB.
• Cinn-A-Burst is promoting this thing again this year.
• We take a "special look" at the Road to Spring Break activities at UCB with the Nitro Girls, taped earlier.
• Spice signed some guy's bicep.

• I swear these people are on crack!! Who gives a flying f***? Have we forgotten about WRESTLING???
• Also, Clark Hart vs. Booker, Rey vs. Nash.

• "Winning Streak" Jerry Flynn makes his way out.
• His opponent: Mike Enos.
• Flynn's on a streak, so I'm going to pick him. Flynn is taking Kitty B. Badd's place as "Token Pushed Karate Guy."
• Enos shoves Flynn into the corner to start.
• Flynn escapes a waistlock, kicks, and hits a clothesline.
• Back-elbow from Flynn.
• Enos ducks too soon for a backdrop, and gets met. However, he has enough presence to dump Flynn over the top rope.
• Enos hits a clothesline from the apron.
• Enos with a delayed bodyslam on the floor.
• Flynn blocks a punch, then sweeps the leg.
• Flynn gets all Ken Shamrock and applies an anklelock.
• Enos comes back with a powerslam.
• Enos visibly calls a spot, and gets met with a back-elbow charging into the corner. Flynn follows up with a clothesline.
• Flynn lands kicks in the corner. The crowd lets him know what they think about THAT.
• Enos reverses a whip into a short-arm clothesline.
• Enos with a bodyslam, but Flynn rolls through with the Cross-Armbreaker, and gets the quick submission win!
• The Flynn push continues. He even gets to deliver a quick, slobbering rant into the camera post-match.

• This guy rules WAY too much. He'd be a great Horseman. That is, unless the book Flair, Benoit, and Malenko to lose in handicap matches to the Mulkey Brothers on every Worldwide.
• Booker says his PPV match was all good.
• Booker says Disco was the first, but not the last, recipient of the Harlem Hangover.
• Tonight, Booker will face Bret Clark Hart in a Number-One Contenders match.
• Booker says Clark Hart has no love for him, but he's at the top of his game.
• Booker says he won't stop until he's the number-one contender. Does that mean he'll stop AFTER he's the number-one contender?

• Vince tells Norton that Hogan put him in charge.
• Norton can't believe it.
• Norton finally shakes his hand.

• Tony says the "Steiner gets Kim for 30 days" stipulation wasn't official, so no dice.

• Hippie Hammer, wrestling's answer to "Rainbow-Brite," makes his way down.
• His opponent, "Goldberg's Designated Job Boy", Bam Bam Bigelow.
• The crowd doesn't seem to care.
• Actually, the crowd gives him the "Goldberg" chant.
• They lock up, and Bigelow breaks clean in the corner.
• Tony threatens to debut the new Konnan music video later tonight. I predict ratings in the 2's.
• Bigelow misses a falling headbutt, and gets met with a Russian legsweep.
• Hammer applies Move #938 (arm-BAR).
• Bigelow gets out, but gets met with a boot.
• Hammer off the second buckle with a clothesline.
• Bigelow stalls on the outside, and acts frustrated.
• The crowd gets a "Bam Bam Sucks" chant going.
• Bigelow with an eyerake, and goes to work on Hammer.
• Bigelow hits the falling headbutt, and asks the crowd who sucks.
• Hammer with a leg trip, but Bigelow sends him over the top rope by shoving off with his legs.
• Bigelow slams Hammer on the floor.
• A Bigelow headubtt stuns Hammer, then he applies a chinlock.
• Hammer fights out, and hits a falling shoulderblock.
• Hammer, though, misses an elbow, and Bigelow locks on the chinlock again.
• More headbutts from Bigelow, who rants to the crowd.
• Another slam and falling headbutt.
• Hammer rolls Bigelow up in a small package, but Bigelow kicks out at two.
• Bigelow with a series of Greg-Valentine-like elbows to the head.
• Yet ANOTHER chinlock from the big man.
• Hammer fights out, but a knee to the gut sends him to the mat.
• Sign: "Sell Iscax"
• Tony mentions "Hak," (The Artist Formerly Known As Sandman / The Artist Who Formerly Mattered). That's too bad that Sandman took that name - it means that Kevin Mitnick won't be able to become a pro wrestler.
• Bigelow still can't put the wiley Hammer away.
• Hammer gets around a clothesline, and applies a cobra clutch.
• Bigelow gets out, and avoids a Hammer Yakuza kick in the corner.
• Bigelow then plants Hammer with the Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.

• They're at the gym, working out and picking up "freaks."
• A blonde at the gym gives them an address.
  
• That night, the show up at the address, and it turns out to be of a drag club.
  
• When they leave the club, the doorman tells them a blonde took their limo and said "Race you to Raleigh." I wish she'd see ME in Raleigh! Uh!
• Whatever this event in Raleigh is, I haven't heard about it. Must be at NC State or something.
• Finally, Steiner breaks into a Goldberg photo shoot, talks some trash, and leaves.

• Clark Hart makes his way out first.
• Yes yes yes.....no no no.....
• Clark Hart is unimpressed at Booker's entrance.
• Booker shoves Clark Hart.
• Booker dances around.
• They finally lock up, and Booker breaks clean in the corner.
• Booker with an armtwist. Clark Hart reverses into a hammerlock.
• Booker reverses THAT with a back-elbow that takes the fillings out of Clark's Hart's mouth.
• Clark Hart goes to the floor. Booker holds the ropes open to invite him back in.
• Back in the ring, Booker applies a headlock.
• HUGE shoulderblock from Booker, followed by an armdrag. Clark Hart hits the floor again.
• Some schmuck in a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey at ringside is on the phone. Isn't there any other time you can do that?
• Clark Hart gets an advantage in the corner.
• Clark Hart locks on a chinlock.
• Clark Hart stymies a Booker comeback, and chokes him in the corner.
• Booker reverses a whip, and hits an avalanche clothesline. He follows with another.
• Clark Hart begs off, but Booker answers with the Axe Kick.
• Booker locks on Move #325 (Canadian Armbar).
• Tony says there's a disturbance in the satellite truck.
• We go to split-screen. Disco is in the truck, saying they're going to pirate their signals at around 10:50pm tonight.
• Disco wants the satelite tech to give them the specs, and will triple his salary. He says the nWo has a good dental plan, and the tech will need it if he doesn't do it.
• Back in the ring, Clark's Hart's making a cover for two.
• Clark Hart hotshots Booker.
• Clark Hart with an axehandle from the second buckle.
• Clark Hart executes Hak's finisher, the Russian legsweep.
• Clark Hart back up to the second rope, and lands the diving elbow.
• Clark Hart with an arrogant cover for two.
• They brawl on the floor.
• Clark Hart with headbutts to the small of Booker's back.
• Clark Hart hits the pendulum backbreaker.
• Clark Hart lands the atomic headbutt.
• Tony has to leave to go to the back for the Flair interview.
• Booker explodes out of the corner with a nice clothesline.
• Clark Hart with a belly-to-back suplex.
• Clark Hart hits three legdrops.
• Clark Hart tries the Sharpshooter, but Booker rolls him up for two.
• Clark Hart rakes Booker's face across the top.
• Clark Hart slams Booker, and locks on a figure-four!
• Clark Hart has the figure-four in the middle of the ring.
• Booker tries to reverse the hold, but Clark Hart is holding on.
• Booker reverses, but Clark Hart is in the ropes.
• Both men are favoring their knees.
• Clark Hart chokes Booker on the ropes.
• Booker ducks a clothesline, and hits a flying burrito.
• Booker hits a spinning kick to Clark's Hart's head.
• Booker with a side suplex, breakdances up, and signals to raise the roof.
• Booker goes up top, but Clark Hart catches him up top.
• Clark Hart NAILS a top-rope superplex! Both men are down!
• Charles Robinson gets to eight before Clark Hart gets up.
• Clark Hart goes for the Sharpshooter again, and gets it, but Booker gets to the ropes!
• Clark Hart won't break the hold, but finally does.
• Clark Hart works on the back.
• Clark Hart tries a sunset flip, but Booker blocks it, grabs the legs, and rolls Clark Hart up for the pin!!!! BOOKER WINS!!!
• Now THAT was a great match! And nearly 20 minutes long!

• Yes! Disco!
• His opponent - Glacier Hayashi.
• Hayashi looks rather silly in the Glacier outfit. Then again, so did Ray Lloyd.
  
• Disco talks to Penzer. He gets Penzer to tell the crowd that, because this match involves international action, they should stand for the National Anthem.
• Disco grabs the mic, and starts to sing, but they kill his mic.
• Disco looks at the mic, then attacks Hayashi.
• Disco with a high inverted atomic drop, and a big clothesline.
• Disco works Hayashi over in the corner, and sends him to the floor.
• Kaz goes up top, and hits a flying bodypress.
• Kaz with some headscissors, sending Disco to the apron.
• Disco gets back in, and suplexes Kaz over to the floor.
• Kaz, however, sends Disco to the floor, gets in the ring, and hits a SWEET tope con hilo, even landing on his feet!
  
• Kaz with a chop, snapmare, and dropkick to the back.
• Kaz locks on a chinlock.
• Kaz dropkicks Disco.
• Kaz tries another one, but Disco holds on.
• Disco plants Kaz with a clothesline.
• Disco struts around.
• Disco slams Kaz, goes to the middle turnbuckle, and hits the diving forearm.
• Actually, next week, the Road to Spring Break will be in Chapel Hill, at UNC.
• Disco hits a suplex.
• Disco blocks a Kaz DDT, but not a spinwheel kick.
• Disco tries to powerbomb Hayashi, but Kaz turns it into a Rocker Dropper.
• Hayashi with a backbreaker, and goes up top.
• Hayashi misses the Senton Bomb.
• Disco with the swinging neckbreaker, then hits the Chartbuster for the win!
• A surprisingly competitive match.

• Adams says that Hogan put him in charge of the B&W.
• Norton says that if Adams is the man, he's the man.
• I actually like this - it's a logical way for the whole "Everyone is in charge of the B&W" thing to come to a head.

• A hot chick at ringside gets to feel Scott up. Scott then brings her over the rail and into the ring.
• The chick has a belly-button-ring. Ick.
  
• Scott gets some sugar from the chick, insults the crowd, and says that he put DDP in the hospital.
• Scott says DDP wanted to defend the honor of his wife, but now Scott gets to get on her and off her for 30 days (and 30 nights).
• Scott says Kim will call him "Big Bad Booty Daddy."
• Scott: "As you're in the hospital on your back, screaming in pain, your wife will be on her back, screaming my name."
• Yadda yadda yadda holler if you hear me.
• Wolfpac music comes on, but Scott says he's not done.
• Scott says he's hurt his brother and DDP, and if he could find Sting, he'd hurt him too. There's only one guy left - Goldberg.
• Crowd: "Goooooldberg."
• Steiner says Goldberg is next on his list.
• Steiner says he's putting Goldberg in the hospital tonight.

• Tony says that Benoit/Malenko and Hennig/Windham got into a fight after the matches.
• Ralphus is wearing a blue prom dress, with the tag still on.
  
• Jericho welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho.
• Jericho wants to talk about Perry Klinger.
• Jericho says he gave Klinger a chance to reclaim his manhood and dignity, but Saturn walked away.
• Jericho says Saturn really must be a little funny, if you know what he means.
• Jericho tells Klinger to get out of his outfit, nobody likes it. Ditch the dress, daddy-o.
• His opponent: Hugh Morrus.
• Morrus has the rubber bands back in his beard.
• Morrus has a large horizontal line shaved across the back of his head.
• Morrus beats Jericho down, but Jericho slaps him.
• Morrus doesn't like that at all.
• Jericho hits the floor, but Morrus chases him.
• Jericho catches him coming back in.
• Morrus with a lift-and-drop.
• Morrus press-slams Jericho.
• Morrus goes up top, but Jericho catches him.
• Morrus headbutts him off, but misses a top-rope elbowdrop.
• Jericho hits a spinning heel kick.
• Jericho flies off the top onto both Morrus and Hart.
• Jericho beats Morrus with some flowers....really.
• Jericho suplexes the big man, and does the c'mon baby pin.
• Tenay and Heenan crack jokes about Ralphus in a dress. Some funny stuff.
• Morrus hits the ropes, and levels Jericho with a clothesline.
• Back-elbow from the Laughing Man, who mocks the Jericho goosestep.
• Jericho with a dropkick to the knee.
• Jericho applies a surfboard.
• Ralphus gives a gummy grin at ringside.
• Morrus reverses the move, but Jericho dropkicks his way out of it.
• Jericho tries a frankensteiner, but Morrus hits a sitting powerbomb!
• Morrus with a HUGE avalanche in the corner.
• Morrus does it again!
• He tries for three, but Jericho avoids it and rolls him up for two.
• Big powerslam from Morrus.
• Ralphus stops the No Laughing Matter.
• Saturn runs to ringside, and strips Ralphus!
• In the ring, Jericho is putting Morrus in the Liontamer.
• Saturn enters the ring.
• Hart wants Saturn to hit Jericho with a chair that he's offering, but Saturn hits Hart.
• Saturn gives the DVD to Jericho.
• Morrus then climbs the ropes, hits the No Laughing Matter, and gets the pin!
• Morrus catches up with Saturn outside the ring, while Hart tells Morrus that Saturn hit him.
• Saturn goes to leave, but Morrus stops him a couple of times.
• Saturn hits the ring, and challenges Morrus to come in.
• Morrus gets in the ring with Saturn, and they go toe-to-toe.
• Refs come out to break the two up.

• Hennig and Windham have a little love fest.
• The Horsemen attack with belts.
• Malenko: "You want a belt? Here's a belt!"