WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 04/05/99

• Dr. Retro wonders:

  When did my cable operator start picking up WCW Nitro from the evil bizzaro "Mirror Mirror" Star Trek Universe? Flair is bad..Hogan is good...DDP a heel, Buffer getting names right....I half expect to see Spock walk out of the back with a goatee. Next thing you now..Schiavone will stop being a corporate shill, Jericho will get pushed to the moon, Scott Steiner will go on a crash diet, and Goldberg will have a 140-straight winless streak.

• Barry "Don't you dare call me Windham, Darsow, or Horowitz" P. of The Lodi Page gives me some grief over:

  Ummm, Wade, I've always thought you were a (semi)normal guy before, but now I have my doubts. Just how do you know The Weather Channel's Web Site by heart?

  Bill actually added that, though I do have it bookmarked. :-) It's no SlashDot, though.

• Tom gives us the 4-1-1 on chest protectors and goons

  It was probably obvious, but Bret Hart's steel chest protector gimmick was right out of "For a Few Dollars More," when Clint Eastwood removes his poncho to reveal a makeshift bullet-proof vest at the climax.

  Also, Hart's Maple Leafs jersey was #28, Tie Domi. One of the toughest guys in the NHL, and a big favorite in Toronto. Read more about Domi's impressive penalty stats at: http://www.torontomapleleafs.com/bios/domi_t.htm

• Byron takes us to the "Land of the Lost Gimmicks"

  After watching Bret's killer segment on Nitro, one has to assume he stole Lenny Lane's ab solution. Oh yeah, piss off Goldberg, hoser.

  Hart was just getting Lane back for stealing fellow Canadian Chris Jericho's "Loverboy" tape.

• Desmond wonders:

  Maybe I'm wrong, but wasn't the referee in the opening match (Konnan vs. Vincent) that ref who was suspended for his blatant pro-Jericho bias and who had been seen sitting, dazed, in the front row? If it is, I've never heard anything about a resolution to that angle (and why would that even surprise me?).

  Welcome to the "Land of the Amazing and Disappearing Angles," aka. Atlanta, GA

• In the continuing saga of "No, Wade, you're wrong about ECW," Don writes:

  I'm an avid fan of DDT digest and just wanted to put in my 2 cents about the comments made on ECW. Back when wrestling was overtaken by the likes of the Shark, Renegade, Joe Gomez, and in the WWF with Doink, Diesel, an such and all that garbage, I saw a match with Terry Funk v. Cactus Jack outside at a Florida Rodeo. It was the first time I was exposed to ECW. It also reminded me why I love wrestling so much. Reminded me of Dusty in the Bunkhouse Stampede and Flair's bleach blonde hair just soaked in red and Abdullah the Butcher and the Road Warriors just beating the ever-living hell out of everyone. I was at the Living Dangerously PPV. It was by far the best show any fed has put on in a long time. You say you don't see the ECW style having a future, #1 ECW defined WWF attitude and is everything WWF structures its new image after (look at the hardcore divsion, etc.). Even the WCW with its new G-rating showcases 3 ECW legends (Bam Bam, Raven, Sandman) in hopes of starting their own extreme division. Jericho, Benoit and Melenko (2/3 of the origional triple threat), Taka, Psychosis, Steiners, Foley, Snow, Konan, Mysterio, etc etc etc were all part of it at one point. But in conclusion to say that the ECW style will not have a future is absurdly ridiculous. It is wrestling today.

  I certainly don't deny that ECW has been a tremendous influence on the scope of pro wrestling in the 90s, and has launched (or re-launched) the careers of many top stars. They're probably the only truly innovative promotion in the 90s. I don't think any of that is in dispute.

  My contention is that ECW has gotten away from what made it successful. They once offered some of the best pro wrestling around, in addition to innovative, "extreme" brawling. However, due to talent raids and booking decisions, their pro wrestling-style content seems to be dropping week by week, and the promotion seems to be moving more and more toward a philosophy of "how many tables can we put X through?" and "What foreign objects do we have left to use in a match?" And when you build your promotion upon trying to make each spot more risky, more violent, more "extreme," and when you train your fanbase to not be happy unless each spot tops the previous one, there's only so far you can go with that before either you run out of spots that wrestlers are physically able to do, or before people start getting seriously hurt. I think that's ECW's biggest risk right now. They've moved so much into "extreme," while leaving the "pro wrestling" style behind, that I think they've passed the point of no return. There are only so many tables you can put a guy through, only so many insane spots. It's my belief that once ECW hits this wall, their fans will start getting bored by the product, because they'll have seen it all before.

  So, in conclusion, I agree that ECW has been the greatest influence on pro wrestling in the 90s, and that they've been the most innovative promotion in recent memory. "WWF Attitude" is, of course, a direct lift-off of the ECW style. However, with two giant corporations stealing their wrestlers and, increasingly, their style, and with the dangers I got into above, I still stand by my prediction that ECW's days are numbered.

• Finally, from the "Things To Do In Ohio" department, Jeff (apparently aka. "Cornbread, the Hardcore Draft Pick") sends us this:

  I thought that this might be something that you and readers of your Nitro reports would get a kick out of, maybe not. In a write in campaign fo Undergraduate Student Government President and Vice President, John Roszkowski and Harmon K. Vredeveld have used Ric Flair as a major campaign tactic. By putting Ric Flair on fliers and and stuff, as well as mentioning him on their official campaign website, the two often mentioned the "Nature Boy" when they wrote columns for the Lantern (OSU's paper) which had virtually nothing to do with wrestling. I just thought that this is another good example of wrestling being in places that no one would have expected a few years ago.

And, if you believe the newsboards, WCW is hoping to give Randy Savage a monster push when he comes back from his knee injury, maybe tonight. Gee, there's a clever way to compete with they younger, fresher folks up North - push.....Randy....Savage.....er, wait. Maybe that's not such a good idea. But wait! Hey, I saw that King Kong Bundy's still wrestling! WCW - quick! Sign him, have him squash Jericho, Benoit, Booker T, Finlay, Flair, et. al, and get him into a monster feud with the yellow-and-red wearing Hulk Hogan! And maybe push Paul Orndorff! Yeah! And John Studd! He's dead, but he's an 80s WWF star, so he still counts! And Cyndi Lauper too! This is gonna rule!!!!

I do give props to Flair - he's so good at playing the heel, that I think he's the only person in WCW who'd be able to turn Hogan face.

Finally, with Hogan going face, and singlehandedly fighting off the Horsemen in a fit of AMERICAN MAAAAADE frenzy on Thursday, how long do you think it'll be before we see him go over eight guys in a cage again?

• Damn. Reruns already.

• The new intro features Nitro girls, fire, and clips of ring action. Hard to describe.
• Mike emails with his thoughts on the new look: The long awaited Nitro Format: WCW Nitro, Lost in Space

• Tony and Bobby Heenan are at ringside, instead of up in the nether-regions of the arena.
• Tony hypes the Sting appearance.
• We have two semi-final matches tonight: Steiner vs. Meng, Booker T vs. Jericho.
• Heenan swerves Schiavone on a handshake.

• Gene talks about being at the crap tables.
• Bill: It's not "crap tables", it's "craps tables". A "crap table" is where you toss a salad.
• Big pop for Goldy.
• The logo parts to allow Goldberg through.
• Goldy still has the "Lotto" basket.
• Sign: Bret Hart 1, Goldberg's Head 0.
• Goldberg talks about losing his belt, and says that he's been on the receiving end of [bleep].
• Goldberg talks about being off the PPVs, but says he's going to take matters into his own hands.
• Bill: (who's on a roll tonight): He's going to take matters into his own hands? Sounds like he is stealing Val Venis' gimmick.
• Goldberg talks about the "Goldberg Lottery," and everyone's name is in it, including Flair.
• The name that comes out is the next victim at the next PPV.
• Wolfpac music brings out Kevin Nash in a Detroit Red Wings jersey.
• Nash: "Before you think about spearing me, you don't know what I got under this hockey jersey."
• Nash says that in 10 years, people will be talking about him, because Nash stopped the streak.
• Goldberg says Nash can live in the past, but today's another day.
• Nash says that Goldberg can forget about the lottery, because he has Nash at Spring Stampede.
• Goldberg implies that being able to fight Nash will be a Christmas present for him.
• In the back, Flair and AA are watching a monitor.
  
• Flair has a Presidential seal, and the phat chair.
• Flair sends AA to take care of the situation.

• There are two "TitanTrons" above the WCW logo.

• He's at the entrance, plugging the WCW Hotline. This has to be hell.
• This guy's an idiot.

• Kendall Windham, with an umbrella? What, is he feuding with The Penguin? Mary Poppins?
• My bad, it's a Kendo Stick match.
• Kendall has Scott Putski's old music.
• His opponent - "Hardcore Holly^H^H^H^H^HHak" and Chastity.
• Chastity looks a bit more attractive this week.
• Hak stalls on the outside.
• Windham starts swinging, and we get a Star-Wars-esque lightsaber sequence.
• Windham applies a stepover toehold and hits Hak with the stick.
• Chastity breaks up the Windham offense with a stickshot of her own.
• Hak comes back with, yes, stick-oriented offense.
• Windham with a swinging neckbreaker.
• Chastity has both sticks. She distracts Windham, allowing some weak offense from Hak.
• Windham with a legdrop as Hak re-enters the ring.
• Hak decides to flip into the corner, and looks like a fool doing so.
• Windham with a flying lariat that didn't really fly.
• Windham chases Chas on the outside, and Hak catches him.
• Windham with a rollup for two, and a clothesline.
• Hak with one of his own, and a double-noggin-knocker.
• Sloppy DDT from Hak.
• Hak brains Windham with the stick, and the stick-assisted Russian legsweep for the pin.

• Meng and Erik Watts are competing in the new "Big Pants" division in WCW.

• Goldberg bursts into Ric Flair's room, and finds Flair, AA, Lex Luger, and Liz.

• He says Flair needs to see Nash.
• Nash says he'll be there shortly.

• Someone is already in the ring. It appears to be Liz Markie.
• Gonnad comes out. "Word", "G".
• Konnan hits the CATCHPHRASES OF DOOM. Konnan talks smack to David Penzer.
• I just noticed that the refs has striped shirts now.
• Armdrags and rollups to start.
• Konnan with a hurricane bulldog.
• Seated dropkick.
• Konnan with ten slaps to the back, and some scratching.
• Lizmark with a random cartwheel, and a spinwheel kick (after adjusting his tights).
• Lizmark with a rope-bounce dropkick.
• Lizmark with a back-elbow for two.
• Lizmark sends Konnan to the floor.
• Lizmark applies a beating on the floor.
• Lizmark with a bit of soft-shoe.
• Lizmark hits a clothesline, that gets the delayed-sell.
• Tonight: Rey & Kidman vs. Raven and Saturn.
• Lizmark misses a top-rope splash.
• Rolling clothesline.
• Scratching. Catchphrases.
• They trade rollups for two.
• Mule kick. Carpetmuncher. Catchphrases. Tequila Sunrise. Tap.
• Did you know that Konnan steps into the ring yelling "Oil of Olay?" Why? Discuss.

• Nash comes in now. We go to black.

• Hogan sees Nash and Flair leaving, and wants to know what's up with that. Nash says it's just business.

• Nash asks Robinson about his "4 FLAIR" license plates.
• Nash says Charlie has the Hogan match tonight, they want to make sure he's in their pocket.
• Hogan says that Nash hasn't been returning his calls.
• Nash makes reference to Hogan "beating" him for the title.
• Hogan wonders about Nash's attitude problem. Nash says he's just tired.

• Tony says that leadership causes people to turn against you.
• Someone has a mockup of the WCW belt in the crowd.
• Tony kisses up to Flair.
• Gene asks if Flair wonders if things are getting out of control.
• Flair works a "Fat boy" into his interview 15 seconds in.
• Flair calls Goldberg a former champion, and Flair praises Nash coming out to make the match.
• Flair says that tonight, he'll take the World title match away from Spring Stampede, and he'll job to^H^H^H^H^H^Hwrestle Hogan tonight.
• Hogan charges to the ring, chasing Flair to the floor.
• Hogan says he has no problem with beating Flair in Las Vegas to a pop.
• Flair says if Hogan touches him before match time, there'll be no match.
• Hogan says he won't touch Flair until the match.
• Hogan says he'll show everyone who the most powerful man in wrestling is.
• Flair says he's the man. Hogan says he'll leave Las Vegas with his belt.
• Flair says this'll be the last time he hears the name "Hogan" ahead of his. Hogan says that he's right, because Hogan will never give Flair another shot at the belt.
• DDP's music comes on, and Page comes down the aisle.
• Page says he has no love lost for either man.
• DDP wants it to be a Three-Way-Dance.
• Flair isn't buying it.
• Hogan says he'll beat both of them.
• Goldberg music comes on, too.
• AA is in the back watching on.
• Goldberg says if there's a heavyweight match, he's in the dance.
• Flair says he's the boss, and he says what goes on around here, and Goldberg's not in it.
• Goldberg tosses Flair by the lapels.
• Flair scurries away, saying Goldberg is in trouble now.
• Flair says he'll see all of them. So, it appears to be a Four-Way-Dance.
• Hogan gets some time to flap his orange gums as everyone else leaves.
• Hogan and Goldberg cut a deal - Goldberg will take out DDP, Hogan will take out Flair.
• Showing that this is the Interview Segment That Will Never Die, Wolfpac music comes on again.

• We also see him coming back to the ring last month.

• Lenny Lane comes out.
• Apparently, this is Jim Duggan's return match. If I remember properly, Duggan only has one kidney now. If that's the case, he probably shouldn't be doing this now.
• The crowd is pretty silent for this.
• Duggan comes out with his flag and 2x4.
• Duggan appears to be in as good of a shape he was in when he retired.
• Duggan gets a good USA chant going, though.
• Lane has big sideburns now.
• Duggan breaks clean, but Lane punches him in the gut.
• Duggan no-sells, and Duggan starts his punch-and-kick offense.
• Duggan with a Polish hammer.
• Lane pulls Duggan to the floor, and beats on him.
• Duggan posts Lane.
• Duggan rams Lane into the announce table.
• Duggan no-sells some Lane offense like he was Meng or something.
• Duggan with head-punches in the corner, and Lane does what was almost a Flair Flop.
• Duggan with a standing clothesline, and the American Chinlock.
• Duggan with a hammerlock.
• Duggan suplexes Lane, but gets up at one.
• Lane's got a severe "wedgie" after that suplex.
• Lane tries to fight back, but Duggan, of course, no-sells.
• Duggan with the spinning bodyslam, and drops Old Glory for the win.
• I'm glad Duggan recovered from cancer, but PLEASE get him off my TV.

• This sucks so much. What crackhead thought people gave a rat's ass about Ricki Rachman?

• Tony says that the nWo "thing" ends tonight.
• Apparently, this is over-the-top.
• Ring entrances will take longer than the match, I bet.
• A four-man battle royale. How...quaint.
• It's Stevie/Vincent and Adams/Horace facing off.
• They switch off to Horace/Vince and Adams/Stevie.
• Basic battle royale stuff - brawling and teased ejections.
• Where's Scott Norton, anyway?
• Vincent with the first wrestling move, a jawbreaker.
• Stevie goes over the top, but lands on the apron.
• This is quite boring.
• More generic brawling. Vincent is getting the tar kicked out of him.
• The crowd is dead.
• Horace tries to dump Stevie, but is unsuccessful.
• Vince gets eliminated by an Adams big boot.
• Adams and Horace strike a deal to eliminate Stevie.
• Stevie hits a double-clothesline that rouses the crowd out of their slumber. It's short-lived.
• Stevie's a house o' fire.
• Aldo: The entire lighting system falling on these three is the best ending I can think of.
• Adams lets Stevie take Horace on.
• Horace is sent to the apron.
• Horace low-blows Stevie, and Adams clotheslines Stevie.
• Adams and Stevie argue about who will throw Stevie out, and they start brawling.
• Adams hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Horace.
• Stevie clotheslines Adams over the top.
• Horace takes control, but Stevie Ray backdrops Horace over the top for control of the "Most Insipid Angle In WCW." From seven-time WCW tag champ to this. He must be proud.