WCW Thunder - Thursday, June 24, 1999

By Dan

• Well, here we are for yet another addition of Thursday Thunder.  I'm Dan and I will be filling in for Aldo not only this week, but next week as well.  So you have to deal with me two weeks in a row MWUHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Er, uh sorry don't know what came over me.  Well let's go ahead and dive on in and see what this week has to offer.
  
• Well another quick opening tidbit.  I grew up watching wrestling in the 80's and one of the top things I remember about the 80's is that every tag team had a good memorable name.  Who can forget The Midnight Express, the Fabulous Freebirds, or The Legion of Doom.  Well now a days they seem to only be two guys that got thrown together that week with a very few exceptions.  In fact, none of the top tag teams right now have a gimmick name at all so as this broadcast goes on I will come up with a few 80's style tag team names, but some teams didn't show up so I figure I'll go ahead and name them now.
          Konnan and Rey Misterio Jr. - "The Well Past My Limit Soldiers"
          DDP, BBB, and Kanyon - "Will Work for Food" or "I Wonder if Jersey Cab is Still Hiring?"
          and David Flair with anyone - "Why Does God Hate Me?"
  I'll do some more as the show progresses.

• And we're live from The Cajun Dome in Lafayette, LA for another edition of WCW Thursday Thunder.  This may be the week where Thunder actually tops Nitro in the ratings.

• Our hosts for the evening are "Iron" Mike Tenay and "The Living Legend" Larry Zybszko.
  
• Tenay is good enough to go ahead and shill Bash at the Beach for us as Larry salutes the crowd.
  
• And in case you were busy watching anything else at all, we get a replay of the Master P birthday bash from this last Monday.  Hennig comes out to interrupt and I didn't realize that people from Minnesota had southern accents that thick.  I'm so very happy that I missed this.  We then cut to the end of the tag match where everybody comes running in The <shudder> No Limit Soldiers, Team Hennig, and Benoit and Saturn.  It's a pier six brawl.
  
• And since I obviously haven't atoned for my sins enough Hennig and the Country Connection come out to sing their soon to be new video "Rap is Crap."
  
• I can't truly put into words how painful this is to watch.  Hennig couldn't lip-synch his way out of a brown paper sack.  Sure the song is mildly amusing, but it's going to get even more annoying than the Disco Inferno spoof on the Konnan video.   Mark my words.
  
• Hennig with a big bag of chew in his pocket.  Ten bucks says if he put even a pinch of that stuff in his mouth he'd puke for an hour.

• Match #1 Psychosis (in Mighty Bombjack attire) vs. Eddy Guerrero
  • It's so good to hear Eddy's theme music again.
  • Eddy's in full heel mode and I'm loving every minute of it.
  • The dark beast of continuity shows again as Eddy motions that Psychosis took off his LWO shirt and tossed it.
  • Psychosis tries to apologize and eats some elbow for his trouble.
  • Psychosis takes Eddy down with a big shoulder block.
  • Eddy whips Psychosis into the corner
  • Psychosis goes to hop over Eddy, but Eddy puts on the brakes and Psychosis turns his leap into a headscissors takeover.
  • Psychosis picks Eddy up and crotches him on the top rope.
  • Psychosis goes up top and sends Eddy outside with a Corkscrew Spinkick.
  • Big Plancha onto Eddy from Psychosis.
  • Back in the ring Psychosis goes for a Biel on Eddy, but Eddy counters with a headscissor takeover.
  • Eddy choking Psychosis on the ropes.
  • Eddy pushes Psychosis outside and whips him into the guardrail.
  • Eddy motions the camera over to get a nice close-up of Psychosis going headfirst into the steel steps.
  • Eddy wedges Psychosis between the ring post and the steps and dropkicks the steps.   Wicked looking spot.
  • Eddy rolls Psychosis back into the ring and then hits a Slingshot Diving Headbutt on him.
  • Eddy works him into the corner and just pounds on him with European Uppercuts and Knife Edge Chops.
  • Eddy chunks Psychosis into the opposite corner chest first.
  • Eddy locks Psychosis into an abdominal stretch as we head to commercial.
  • F-YOU WCW.  If this was Hogan vs. Piper we would stick with it, but these guys are talented so you know how it is.
  • We come back to Eddy with Psychosis in a pretty deep leg-lock.
  • Eddy keeps working the knee, but Psychosis with a huge Biel.
  • Psychosis tries to come back, but Eddy goes back to the knee.
  • A standing leg-lock from Eddy which he then turns into a bridge leg-lock.
  • Eddy tosses Psychosis outside, but Psychosis reverses his whip into the guardrail.
  • Psychosis with a big dropkick and Eddy heads back into the ring.
  • Eddy reverses a whip and comes back with a HUGE flying back elbow.  That looked a little stiff.
  • Scoop slam and Eddy goes up top, comes down with a double axe handle, but Psychosis catches him in an inverted Atomic Drop.
  • Psychosis goes for a Suplex, but Eddy lands outside on the apron. 
  • Psychosis elbows him off.
  • Eddy tries to block the Plancha attempt by grabbing Psych's legs, but Psychosis quickly turns it into a Split-Leg Moonsault.
  • Back in the ring a top rope Enziguiri from Psychosis.
  • Pin attempt, but Eddy was in the ropes.  Two count.
  • Psychosis tosses Eddy out of the corner.
  • Psychosis sets Eddy up in the opposite corner and hits a big top rope Hurracanrrana.
  • Psychosis covers for two.
  • Psychosis goes back up top, but nobody's home.
  • Eddy up top and there is the Frog Splash to the back from Eddy.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3.  And this one is over.
  • YOUR WINNER: Eddy Guerrero by pinfall following the Frog Splash.
  • That was a top notch match.  I missed Eddy's return match, it was good to see him back.
    
• We go to the back where we see President Flair, Arn Anderson, David Flair and Asya talking with Evan Karagias.
  
• Flair promises Karagias a trip to the top if he will lay down for David tonight.
  
• Evan doesn't seem to sure, but Flair says that David is 6-0 and is going to beat Goldberg's record.
  
• They manage to intimidate Karagias into giving a half-assed agreement.
  
• David Flair had absolutely no facial expression in this bit whatsoever.  I really do think that they just bought an old animatronic character from Disney and fixed it up slightly.  He likes sort of like a shaved Abraham Lincoln to me.
  
• We come back from commercial to go back to Monday with Sid and Savage squashing Psychosis and Kidman.  We Sting come in to make the save and then cut to Nash saying he thinks Sting drove the Hummer that ran him over.
  
• We then go to Savage helping Sid to almost powerbomb Sting until Luger comes in to make the save.
  
• Wolfpac music brings out the champ.  Big Sexy in the Hizouse.  Or something like that.
  
• Nash with typical playing to the crowd and then he start reminiscing about being in the Outsiders (see tag team name) three years ago.  And even after those three years and even though he is the champ he is still an Outsider.  Says that WCW doesn't want him to have the belt.  Then says that Savage couldn't beat him on his own, so he got Sid, but they both couldn't beat him; so they got Sting.  Says he'll tag with Sting, but that he doesn't trust him.  Of course Nash ruins a good serious interview by goofing with the crowd as he leaves.
  

• Match #2 Magic Fit Finlay and Dave Taylor vs. Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn
  • Fit Finlay and Dave Taylor - "Don't You Have Anything Larger than a Pint?"
  • Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn - "Just Plain Mean"
  • See they're not all joke names.  Just most of them. ;-)
  • And in my personal opinion Benoit and Saturn rock.  They should beat the hell out of just about anyone.
  • Dave Taylor and Chris Benoit start things off.
  • Looks like we're going to have a test of strength.
  • Taylor starts to get advantage, but Benoit bridges instead of going down.
  • Taylor climbs into the missionary position to try and get him to the mat.
  • REALLY, didn't need to see that.
  • Benoit ducks a clothesline and counters with a dropkick followed by another to send Taylor outside.
  • Both men tag and Finlay taunts Benoit some.
  • Finlay dodges Saturn's attempt to tie-up and takes him down with a lock on his trapezius.
  • Saturn stands up and slaps Finlay who turns around and gets slapped by Benoit.
  • Saturn follows that with a T-bone Suplex.
  • Benoit takes out Taylor as he tries to come in.
  • Saturn with a Springboard Crossbody for one as Taylor makes the save.
  • Benoit takes out Taylor and grabs Finlay from behind.
  • Saturn with a Superkick into a Benoit German Suplex.
  • Another German Suplex from Benoit.
  • Standing switch from Finlay and he runs Benoit into his corner and a Dave Taylor Elbow.
  • Tenay tells us we're heading to commercial right has Finlay hits a diving shoulder-block on Benoit in the corner.
  • I've said it once and I'll say it again.  F-YOU WCW!!!!!!
  • We're back as Finlay locks in a half-crab on Benoit.
  • Saturn with the save but as Nick Patrick is distracted Finlay and Taylor each grab a leg.
  • Saturn does the one thing I've wanted to see a tag partner do for years, he grabs Patrick and spins him around so he can see the double team.
  • Big Belly to Back Suplex from Finlay for two.
  • Taylor tags in and hits a Standing Suplex for two.
  • Elbow drop from Taylor.
  • Taylor working on Benoit with a European Uppercut.
  • The crowd is chanting for Benoit.  That is an AWESOME sound to hear.
  • Taylor distracts the ref as Finlay works on Benoit in the corner.
  • Taylor puts Benoit in a surfboard and Benoit tries to power out, but Taylor pushes him over to Finlay who clocks him.
  • Finlay tags in and hits a European Uppercut.
  • Finlay tries for the shoulder in the corner, but Benoit dives out of the way.
  • Finlay just jumps up and drops all of his weight on Benoit in repayment.
  • Saturn comes in to make the save, but as the ref is distracted Taylor drags Benoit outside and works on him some more.
  • Saturn with the save again.
  • Finlay puts Benoit up on his shoulder, but Benoit squirms out and beats on both Finlay and Taylor.
  • Hot tag to Saturn.
  • Saturn comes in for the beatdown and sets Finlay up for the DVD.
  • Finlay rakes the eye though and gets free.
  • He hits Saturn with his Diving Arrow slam.
  • Taylor tags in and goes for a butterfly suplex, but Saturn escapes with a T-bone suplex.
  • Saturn hits the Death Valley Driver on Taylor, but Finlay makes the save at two.
  • Saturn and Finlay brawl to the outside as Benoit climbs up top.
  • Diving Headbutt and Benoit covers.
  • 1. . .2 . . .3.  And this one is finished.
  • YOUR WINNER: Perry Saturn and Chris Benoit via pinfall following Benoit's Top Rope Diving Headbutt.
  • OH MY GOD!!! Steven Regal is back to console his fellow British Islanders.  Looks like he's no longer a Man's man.  Thank God!!!
  
  
  • That was what a good tag team match should be like.  Both teams really complemented each other.
  • I really like Saturn and Benoit.  My only hope is that they will add Malenko to counter the three man team of DDP, BBB, and Kanyon.

• Tenay talks about the Bagwell vs. Piper and Flair handicap match and how Malenko came in to help Bagwell.
  
• And since we can't talk about anything from Nitro without seeing it.  We get a replay of the ending of that match.
  
• Gene Mean is out and babbling about something as Flair's music kicks in.
  
• And here comes the Natcha Boy with Asya and thighs that could kill a small elephant.
  
• Mean Gene kisses some Nature Butt as Flair proceeds to rundown Louisiana in that way that only Flair can.
  
• Flair says that tonight is about being the law, the ruler and the master and that it's time to take care of business.  First he puts the Tag Team belts on the line at Bash at the Beach.  Benoit and Saturn vs. Page and Bigelow.  The he takes care of the "upstarts" by making tonight's main event a match between Buff Bagwell and Malenko vs. Sid Vicious and Randy Savage. Finally Flair says that Nash is right, he doesn't want him to be champion and that he's going to have a surprise for him this Monday in Chicago on Nitro.  Flair then proceeds to go nuts and say "turn on the power" over and over again.  I have no idea what that is all about. 

• Match #3 Lenny Lane vs. Curt Hennig
  • Lenny Lane comes out first and it's time for my conspiracy theory.  To me Lane right now looks and acts a lot like a certain Lion Maned young wrestler whose contract is in dispute.  I personally think that they are using Lane to make fun of Chris Jericho just in case he signs up North.  Don't believe? Watch Lane's facial mannerisms and the way he taunts the crowd next time he comes out.
  • Lane's opponent is Curt Hennig along with "We Marry Our Cousins."
  • Lane tries to run out, but Bobby Duncum Jr. tosses him back in.
  • Lane reverses and Irish Whip into a scoopslam and taunts Hennig.
  • Hennig gets ticked and proceeds to beat on Lane from corner to corner.
  • Hennig with his big knee lift and follows with some big chops in the corner on Lane.
  • Basically insert all of the standard Hennig spots right here.  Spin on the neck, field goal kick, etc.
  • Hennig with a nice standing Dropkick.
  • Hennig is really just squashing Lane.
  • Atomic Drop from Hennig and a chop puts Lane down.
  • Hennig just keeps kicking Lane until he goes down.
  • Chops from Hennig in the corner and then he just dances on Lane's chest and stomach.
  • HUH?  Randy Anderson just stopped the match.
  • Oh somebody threw in the towel. ZUH?
  • AHHHH, it was Lodi...well, he gets a Hennigplex for his trouble.
  • YOUR WINNER: Curt Hennig via submission I guess.
  • Not a bad match for a squash.
  • "Your Trailer or Mine?" celebrates in the ring as we go to commercial.
    

• And here comes Team Madness.  Have Madusa's breasts gotten even larger?

  

  She's more deformed than Sa . . .er . . . Rena Mero.  Well Savage gives the same unintelligible interview that he always gives.  Macho assures Nash that nobody currently on Team Madness was the driver of the Hummer.  He says it could have been Scott Hall or it could have been Sting.  I don't think it was either, but I don't do predictions.  Macho does a good job of reminding us that Sid's last name is Vicious before handing him the mic.  Sid tells the crowd to shut their mouths and then some stuff that I didn't really pay attention to.  Sid starts promising Nash and Sting lots of madness and pain.  Sid is quite intense, but I don't really think his persona fits in with Team Madness.
  

• Match #4 Evan Karagias vs. David Flair with Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Asya
  • Karagias comes out first.  Those trunks have got to go.  They are almost as bad as Norman Smiley's.
  
  
  • Here comes David Flair who somehow has managed to get flabbier since training at the Power Plant.
  • Flair and Karagias tie up and Flair locks on the slowest full armdrag and twist I've ever seen.
  • Karagias reverses and takes Flair down with a drop toehold.
  • Karagias locks in an armbar, but Flair reverses into his own armbar.
  • Karagias elbows out and takes Flair down with an Armdrag for two.
  • Tie-up and Karagias locks in a side headlock, Flair elbows out, but gets shoulder blocked down.
  • Karagias works over Flair and hits a standing suplex for two.
  • Karagias with a clothesline and another cover for two.
  • Anderson starts giving Karagias the signal to throw the match, but Karagias ignores him.
  • Karagias hits a big powerslam, but Ric gets on the apron to distract him from the cover.
  • Karagias sends Flair down again and drags him to the corner.
  • Karagias goes up top, but Asya distracts him while Arn passes the stun gun to David.
  • Flair shocks Karagias and then cinches in a very unnecessary figure four.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3 Flair is now 7 - 0.  What . . .ever.
  • YOUR WINNER: David Flair via Nepotism.
  • I'm already scarred for life so this match deserves no more commentary.
• Match #5 Hugh Morrus with Jimmy Hart vs. Van Hammer
  • WHY GOD WHY???
  • Hugh Morrus with some trashcan lid shots to start things off.
  • Morrus sets up a trash can, beats on Hammer for a while and then bodyslams him onto the can.
  • Okay, I have to admit that was pretty cool looking.
  • Morrus goes up top, but slips off the rope.  Hammer clobbers him with the trashcan lid anyway
  • Hammer puts the lid on Morrus' face and legdrops him.
  • Hammer puts on his metal studded jacket and hits a lariat with it on Morrus.
  • He then sets the jacket up on the turnbuckle.
  • Hammer lariats Morrus with the trashcan lid and takes him to the corner and pounds his face on the metal studs.
  • Hammer goes outside and gets a ladder from under the ring, he sets it up in the corner.
  • Morrus reverses the whip into the ladder.
  • Morrus with a big avalanche in the corner and as he backs of Hart puts a trashcan on Hammer's head.
  • Another avalanche from Morrus into the trashcan covered Hammer.
  • Looks like Morrus is busted open so we're going to watch the rest of this match from somewhere in the next county.
  • Morrus waffles Hammer with the lid and then goes outside to get a table.
  • I guess they are running out of time for the spot cause Hart helps him setup the table.
  • Morrus puts Hammer on the table, and get's ready for the No Laughing Matter, but suddenly Flair's voice comes over the PA.
  • Flair comes down to break up the match.  Flair says no more hardcore matches and while he and Morrus jaw back in forth Hammer gets up in the back and picks up the table.
  • Morrus and Flair jaw a bit longer and when Morrus and Hart turn around Hammer drills both of them with the table.
  • Hammer then drops Morrus face first through the table and heads out.
  • I'm guessing no contest.  They seemed to concentrate on Flair leaving the ringside more than the end of the match.
  • I don't really care, do you?
    

• Match #6 Sid Vicious and Randy Savage vs. Buff Bagwell and Dean Malenko
  • Vicious and Savage - "'Roids and Rogaine"
  • Well Bagwell and Malenko were tough to decide on and I have a pretty corny one so I'm going with it. "Fire and Ice"
  • And since this will be the last tag team match I'll say that Buff was in the tag team with the best name ever  "Vicious and Delicious."
  • Buff and Savage to start things off.  Savage tries to play to the crowd, but Buff struts around to show him whose side they are really on.
  • Savage backs Buff into the corner and tries for the cheapshot, but Buff dodges him and prances around some more.
  • Savage with a knee to the gut and sends Buff to the ropes, Buff ducks and elbow and hits Savage with a cross body.
  • One count only.
  • Malenko tags in and gets shoulderblocked down by Savage.
  • Malenko tries to float over Savage, but gets slammed for his trouble.
  • Savage tags in Sid and this match just got really ugly.
  • Sid is just abusing the smaller man, but Malenko slides through his legs and tags in Buff.
  • They hit a double elbow and Sid still doesn't go down.
  • Bagwell runs to the ropes, but Savage elbows him in the back and Sid grabs him by the throat.
  • MASSIVE Chokeslam from Sid on Buff.
  • Sid tags in Savage and they proceed with the double team on Buff.
  • Savage with some boots and punches.
  • Malenko tries to come in allowing Sid and Savage to double team Buff some more.
  • Savage chokes Buff while Sid distracts the ref.
  • Vicious is just pounding on Buff with boots.
  • Savage is back in and Madusa comes up and grabs Bagwell.  Savage goes for an elbow, but Buff dodges and Savage hits Madusa instead.
  • Buff makes the hot tag to Malenko who comes off the top rope with a heel kick.
  • Malenko goes for the cover, but Sid makes the save and he and Bagwell tumble outside.
  • Savage and Malenko going at it all over the ring. 
  • Miss Madness climbs on the top rope and goes for a sunset flip on Malenko.
  • Dean rolls through and PUTS MISS MADNESS IN THE CLOVERLEAF!!!!
  
  
  • Vicious makes the save and powerbombs Malenko with potentially the worst powerbomb I've ever seen.
  
  
  • Savage signals for the elbow drop, but Nick Patrick stops him.
  • So Savage pops Nick Patrick and then crotches him on the top rope.
  • Mickey Jay comes in and disqualifies Sid and Savage.
  • YOUR WINNERS: Buff Bagwell and Dean Malenko via disqualification.
  • Savage grabs Mickey Jay and Sid helps to spike piledrive him.
  • Savage then tells Sid to Powerbomb him, which he does, it was only slightly better than the first one.
  • Savage talks smack to Kevin Nash as we fade to black.
    

• Well all I can say is that at least it is over.  Actually it was an okay show for the first hour or so and then it went pretty downhill after that.
  
• I'll be here next week as well so drop me a line. 
  
• Y'all have a good week.
  
• Later.

The Good: The first two matches are the reason I still stick with WCW.   Those were quality matches and the only time of the night that the crowd was always in to everything that was going on.

The Bad: I guess Flair is still the only older guy that is going to put younger guys over.  Hennig and Savage basically squashed their younger opponents tonight.

The Ugly: David Flair is a waste of the base molecules that compose his being.   Please show that kid a weight room and let Reid teach him at least two wrestling moves before he befouls my TV ever again.

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