WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 07/12/99

• Matt writes:

  I while I was watching BATB during the tag titles match I saw that Tony has learned a new move. Evidently Saturn only does T-bone suplexes now. Tony on several occasions called belly-to-belly and some other suplexes T-bones. Hilarious, maybe it will become the next sidewalk slam

• Mike L. notices:

  Seems like you didn't pick up on this interesting little bit of character development.

  Where was the referee while Lenny Lane tried to interfere on Lodi's behalf when Lodi failed his second running frankensteiner?

  He was being held by the rim of his pants by a kneeling Lodi, trying to stand up (it seems), his head conveniently located right at the ref's crotch. The referee attempted to struggle away, but Lodi kept pulling him closer to his face.

  Well, at least they're having fun...

• John solves a mystery for us:

  On Nitro, you remember Eddy lining up the masked wrestlers to find out who took his wallet. He said that none of them were the ones and that there must be another masked wrestler.

  Suddenly, it hit me. I know who took Eddy's wallet, the last luchador anyone would think of,

  La Cucaracha had to be the one who took Eddy's wallet!!

• Sirtalis slyly segued into some scary statistics:

  I was searching through the annals of Wade's Nitro reports to find the last time a Nitro main event ended cleanly (which was obviously before Savage & Co. returned), and found not suprisingly that it was over five and a half months ago!! on 3-1-99 Rick Steiner and Goldberg succesfully and cleanly defeated the team of Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner. 17 screwjob main events in a row......

• And in the Email of the Week, Mike M. wonders:

  Can someone please explain to me why Norman Smiley cannot do the "SMBU' on TV, but Randy Savage can "smack his bitch up and kick her when she's down" on Nitro?

OK, I will make a few points. First, I'm glad to see that they decided not to try to kill Disco's gimmick again by dropping the stipulation, but jobbing him to Kitty B. Badd and the ruby slipper of eternal damnation wasn't a good choice. While I'm not a fan of Rick Steiner (post-1995-ish), I'm glad he went over Van Hairdresser. David Flair over Malenko isn't good on the surface, but I'll give the angle the benefit of the doubt for a few more weeks. Rap vs. Country was, well, rap vs. country. Of course, Brad Armstrong is the only "Rapper" to take a real fall. The "Junkyard Invitational" was an absurd concept, but Finlay winning on PPV can only be a good thing. Jersey Boys vs. Benoit/Saturn looks like a superb match as always, and I don't mind Benoit/Saturn jobbing for the sake of an exciting feud. How do you win a boxing match via pinfall? And how do you reward a guy for beating women on Nitro? Give him a belt!

And why build up the "Who was driving the hummer" crap if you DON'T EVEN MENTION IT?

• How many people think that Savage getting the belt is just a vehicle to get the belt back around Hogan's saggy orange ass?
• Sign: I drove the hummer.
• Sign: No, I drove the hummer.
• Savage doesn't have Sid or the Black & Blue Rogaine Ho-Train with him.
• Savage: "[grunt][wheeze][strain][grunt]"
• Crowd: "Goldberg.....Goldberg...."
• Shows how well the Savage thing is going over, huh?
• In the only thing of note (or even the only coherent thing) from the interview, Savage makes an open challenge for anyone but Kevin Nash tonight.
• Oh dear God no.
• Kill me now. I'm serious.
• Hogan's music comes on, and Tony 'bout shits his pants.
• Hogan makes his way out.
• The poor crowd actually pops for Hogan.
• I didn't think that my theory would come true so soon! Another Randy Savage one-day title reign, courtesy of Hulk Hogan.
• Savage tries to duck the challenge, but finally accepts.
• I really hope the ratings absolutely tank tonight so WCW will FINALLY get the picture that Hogan != success.

• We get our first match at 8:21.
• Woah! Vampiro!
• Great. He's on job duty to Gonnad.
• Yippy.
• Woah! Don't these two guys hate each other?
• Heenan alludes to the problems between Gonnad and Vampiro, but is interrupted by the Catchphrases of Dumb.
• Vampiro makes me happy by interrupting them! You go!
• Vampiro with some kicks.
• Flying shoulderblock by Vampiro.
• Heenan talks about the hatred between the two, and this is their first singles meeting.
• Vampiro with a pretty sloppy top-rope clothesline.
• Chop from Vampiro.
• Vampiro lays the smack down with the Rock Bottom, and talks trash to Gonnad.
• Vampiro misses a twisting senton.
• Gonnad goes into no-sell mode.
• Rolling clothesline.
• Vampiro tries a standing frankensteiner, but Gonnad breaks out a powerbomb.
• Gonnad with a NICE DDT for two.
• Mule kick. Facebuster. Vampiro rolls to the floor to escape the inevitable Tequila Sunrise!
• Vampiro regains the advantage on the outside, and throws a chair at Gonnad's head.
• Johnny Boone calls for the bell!
• Vampiro back in the ring, and hits a superkick.
• Vampiro gets DQ'd for use of the chair.
• Vampiro hits the Nail in the Coffin after the bell! Gonnad's out in the ring!
• YES!

• Kitty cuts a rug.
• Kitty does his usual schtick on the stick.
• Crowd: "You Suck"
• Kitty rants about being able to whoop Buff Bagwell and his mom.
• Kitty insults Judy Bagwell's weight.
• Buff's music comes on.
• Buff poses his way down to the ring.
• Buff tells Kitty to shut up.
• Buff plays to the crowd to a big pop.
• Buff talks about loving Jacksonville.
• Kitty: "You and Jacksonville can kiss my ass." Wow. Unbleeped.
• Buff offers up the theory that Jacksonville might want to see him kick Kitty's ass.
• Buff: "Don't sing it, bring it."
• Kitty attacks from behind.
• Kitty takes over on Buff.
• Buff reverses a corner whip, and clotheslines Kitty from behind.
• Oono tries to come in, and gets bodyslammed.
• Kitty puts on the RUBY SLIPPER OF ETERNAL DAMNATION, and kicks Buff.
• Oono comes over to count the pin.
• Kitty does another James Brown impression after the match.
• Dan: I think I'm devolping a tumor . . .

• Eric Bischoff joins the broadcast booth.
• Ric Flair makes his way down.
• HA! Bischoff calls Hogan's return "A breath of fresh air!" How can he say that with a straight face?
• Bischoff continues to verbally fellate Hogan.
• Bischoff continues to trash Flair as President.
• Malenko makes his way down with Benoit and Saturn behind him.
• Flair gets on the stick and calls out security to take Benoit and Saturn away.
• Malenko opens up on Flair.
• Malenko with a backdrop.
• Malenko dropkicks Flair, and punches him in the head.
• Flair begs off.
• Malenko continues the offense.
• Flair Flip.
• Arn sneak-attacks Malenko on the floor.
• Dean and Flair brawl on the floor. Malenko backdrops Flair on the floor.
• Arn beats on Malenko again.
• Arn and Flair doubleteam Malenko in the ring as ref Charles Robinson looks the other way.
• Malenko kicks out at two.
• Backdrop suplex from Flair for two again.
• Flair with punches and chops in the corner.
• Flair with a ballshot.
• Two-count only.
• Malenko tries a comeback.
• Flair with the delayed vertical suplex on Malenko.
• The crowd kinda dies during a slugfest.
• Flair with an inverted atomic drop, but Malenko fights back with a punch.
• Malenko blocks a hiptoss with a backslide, but Robinson is distracted.
• Malenko small packages Flair, but Robinson refuses to count.
• Avalanche clothesline from Malenko, and we get a Flair Flop.
• Malenko suplexes Flair.
• Malenko goes up top with a MISSILE DROPKICK!
• Robinson takes his time getting into position, so we only get two.
• Flair begs off.
• Malenko with punches in the corner, and he clotheslines Arn.
• Flair eats a clothesline, too.
• Flair goes up top, and comes off with a sleeper.
• Malenko sends both Flair and Robinson into the buckles.
• Johnny Boone is in the ring.
• Flair avoids a dropkick and applies a Figure-Four.
• Malenko reverses.
• Asya comes in to wipe out Boone.
• Charles Robinson calls for the bell, and Malenko's music comes on!
• Robinson raises Flair's hand!
• Malenko threatens Robinson, and Arn wipes him out.
• Malenko gets a mudhole stomp until Sting hits the ring.
• Sting helps Malenko up.
• Flair threatens Sting from the aisle.
• Sting says Flair means nothing to him.
• Flair rants.
• Sting: "When I wrestled you ten years ago, you had your thumb on guys like me and Luger and the Steiners and the list goes on and on. Ten years later, you're still here!"
• Sting says he is WCW, and he wants control.
• Sting challenges Flair to a match for control of WCW tonight.
• Flair says that Sting can wrestle David Flair tonight. If Sting beats David, he can wrestle Ric.
    
• Sting: "I am not above hurting David Flair to get to you."
• Sting and Malenko leave together.

• Yes! Regal!
• Regal's accompanied by the rest of the United Kingdom.
• His opponent - KIDMAN!
• This has potential!
• Crowd: "USA!"
• Regal's facial expressions are priceless.
• Bischoff: "[Kidman] gets all the hot women."
• Chicks dig the gold.
• Headscissors from Kidman, and a dropkick.
• Regal cradles out of a headlock for some one-counts.
• Another Kidman dropkick.
• Kidman shoulderblocks the English Doughboy down.
• Regal sends Kidman over the top into the hands of Taylor and Finlay.
• Finlay hotshots Kidman on the guardrail.
• Regal takes control back in the ring.
• Butterfly suplex from Regal.
• Commercial.
• Regal applies a surfboard as we come back.
• European uppercut from the, well, European.
• Regal with a chinlock.
• Kidman with a kick off the ropes, but Regal catches him with a catapult.
• Regal makes the mistake of trying to powerbomb Kidman. Silly man.
• Kidman tries a sunset flip, which leads to a series of near-falls, including a Victory Roll and a hurricanrana.
• Three dropkicks from the former Cruiser champ.
• Regal sends Kidman into Randy Anderson.
• The Eurpoeans have their way with Kidman.
• Finlay mistakenly brains Regal with a chair.
  
• Kidman sends Finlay and Taylor out of the ring.
• Bischoff leaves the announce booth.
• Kidman pulls Regal into position, and goes up top.
• Kidman HORRIBLY blows the Shooting Star Press, falling legs-first on the ropes and crumpling to the canvas.
• Bischoff comes in to check on Kidman. He's apparently OK, because Regal continues the match.
• Regal picks Kidman up, and Kidman small-packages Regal!
• Bischoff counts the pin, and Kidman wins.
• Post-match, Bischoff shoves Finlay and Taylor down.
• The Europeans yell at Bischoff post-match.

• Danger! High Voltage!
• Kaos makes his way down, playing the face.
• His opponent: Sid.
• Bischoff says that the Insane Clown Posse and Dennis Rodman will be at Nitro in Rockford, IL.
• Also, proving that they still don't get it, he has it on "Good Authority" that Gene Simmons and KISS will be at the Vegas Nitro.
• Sid with straight punches to Kaos in the corner.
• Sid gets a big "Goldberg" chant.
• Sid no-sells a kick from Kaos.
• Sid with a backbreaker.
• Sid applies a cobra clutch, then delivers a cobra clutch slam.
• Sid switches animals and applies a CAMEL clutch.
• Kaos fights out, but gets chokeslammed.
• The powerbomb finishes it off.
• Sid gets the mic, and grunts at Kaos.
• Sid challenges Sting.