WCW Thursday Thunder - Thursday, July 22, 1999

By Dan

• Well here we are for another addition of WCW Thunder.  My name is Dan and since Aldo did Nitro, I will be your party host this week.  To be honest I'm REALLY looking forward to Thunder tonight.  Nitro was a solid show and in my opinion Thunder for the last few weeks has been better than Nitro anyway.  So if that trend continues we can expect a solid two hours of programming.
  
  
• And now for something completely different.  Well, not really.  I just stepped out of the Dark Ages of wrestling videogames and got FirePro X for the SNES emulator on my computer.  I need info on how to get a mod-chip for my PlayStation so that I can import FirePro G for it.  Anybody out there with info on how the whole mod-chip thing works, please email me.
  
  
• Well we had Shane Douglas this Monday and he might make an appearance this week and this is the last show that Jericho could be on.  I know that the other big sites are saying his last match was at a house show last night, but I wouldn't mind seeing him on TV one last time.  I would love to call just one Jericho match. 
  
  
• Well let's get on with the show.
  
  
• We are live from Moline, IL in the Quad Cities.  Our hosts as always are "Iron" Mike Tenay and "The Living Legend" Larry Zybzsko.  Tenay is starting the hype machine as the pyros go off.
  
  
• Larry had to get the Larry chants going this week, cause they weren't going when he actually got up.  Unless the sound guy dulled the crowd or something.
  
  
• Match #1 Kaz Hayashi vs. Van Hammer
  • Looks like Kaz has been spending some time in the gym.
  • And to get things going on the right foot we start with Van Hammer.
  • I hope you can pick up on my sarcasm.
  • Cause I'm laying it on pretty thick.
  • Well they go for a tie-up and Kaz slaps on a side headlock.
  • Hammer just tosses Kaz off of him.
  • Kick to the gut and BIG Press Slam from Van Hammer.
  • Of course it helps that Kaz is half his size.
  • Kaz stands up and tries to trade blows with Hammer.
  • Naturally, that didn't last too long.
  • Whip into the ropes and Hayashi ducks a clothesline.
  • Dropkick to the knee and another one sends Van Hammer down.
  • Cover for 1.  Van Hammer tosses Kaz so far off of him that he lands outside of the ring.
  • The tie-up again and Hammer knees Kaz in the gut and starts working on him in the corner.
  • Hammer sends Kaz to the opposite corner and follows with a big Avalanche clothesline.
  • Hammer tosses Kaz outside, follows him and runs him into the side of the ring.
  • Hammer rolls back in to the ring and taunts Kaz who grabs his legs and trips him.
  • Kaz works the knee over on the outside of the ring.
  • Kaz comes back and hits a Snapmare followed by an Elbow Drop.
  • Double leg takedown from Hammer followed by a Headbutt to the gut.
  • Hammer puts Kaz up on the top rope and hits a HUGE Biel to get him off.
  • Hammer with forearms to the chest of Hayashi.
  • Reverse chinlock from Hammer who then picks Kaz up for a Belly to Back Suplex.
  • Kaz flips out and fights back with kicks and punches.
  • Hayashi sets Hammer up for a Powerbomb.  Let me use my amazing powers of deduction and say that this isn't going to work.
  • Hammer sets Kaz up for a Powerbomb of his own, but it looks like he's going to flip out of it.
  • Nope...instead, Hammer drops him face first into the turnbuckle.
  • Hayashi into the ropes and he ducks the big boot from Hammer.
  • Kick to the gut from Kaz and a Bulldog.
  • Kaz runs to the top real quick and hits a Missile Dropkick on Hammer.
  • He runs to the other corner, but the Senton Splash misses as Hammer runs out of the way.
  • Hammer with a standing Spinebuster.
  • He signals that this one is over and grabs Kaz for the Cobra Clutch Slam.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3.  This one is over.
  • YOUR WINNER: Van Hammer via Pinfall following the Cobra Clutch Slam.
  • Well not exactly a great match to start of the show, but it just wouldn't feel like Thunder if some poor Cruiserweight wasn't crushed by a guy twice his size.
  • On another note, why don't I like Van Hammer?  He's big, has a good physique and really isn't that bad of a wrestler, but I want to gouge my eyes out whenever I see him.
    
    
• Lodi and Lenny Lane are complaining about their bad luck over something as we go to commercial.
  
  
• We come back to Tenay and Larry discussing the problems between Miss Madness and Madusa as we see clips from both the Jacksonville Nitro and this last one where Arliss tried to recruit Rodman.
  
  

• Match #2 Brandi Alexander vs. Miss Madness '99
  • WHOA!!! Looks like we have the return of the WCW Women's Division tonite.
  • Our first contestant is Brandi Alexander, Tenay says she's from the Indy scene.
  • Her opponent is Miss Madness who is really quite attractive.  I guess the camera tends to stick on Gorgeous George more than her.
  • Is she going to wrestle in the evening gown?
  • Oh, the bottom comes off to make a sequined wrestling uniform.
  • Miss Madness starts off with a Takedown and a Front Chancery.
  • Brandi with a Syracuse out of it to a Full Armdrag and Twist.
  • Miss Madness does a front handspring to get the reversal.
  • Miss Madness with an Armdrag Takeover and a pin attempt for two.
  • A Side Headlock from Alexander and Miss Madness whips her out of it.
  • Shoulderblock sends Miss Madness down.
  • Miss Madness gets up and takers Brandi down with an Armdrag.
  • And another one.
  • Miss Madness with a dropkick to send Brandi out.
  • Alexander is recuperating on the outside.
  • She goes to come back in and when Miss Madness reaches over for her, Alexander pulls her throat down across the ropes.
  • Alexander puts some really crappy boots to Miss Madness.
  • Have you ever seen one of those bad T&A action flicks on Cinemax or Showtime?   You know when they pretend the women know karate in those?  Well imagine those kind of crappy kicks and visualize them whenever I say that Brandi Alexander kicks Miss Madness.
  • Brandi tosses Miss Madness across the ring by her hair.
  • And back to the other side by the hair again.
  • Snap Suplex from Alexander.
  • Miss Madness into the ropes and Brandi sends her down with a front kick. 
  • Into the ropes again, but Miss Madness hits a Sunset Flip for two.
  • Alexander kicks out and goes to what would be a Reverse Chinlock, but instead she is just pulling on Miss Madness' hair.
  • The ref counts to 5, Brandi breaks and then goes right back to it.
  • Brandi with a Short-arm Clothesline for two.
  • Alexander with more kicks to the gut.
  • A pretty loud Madness chant from the crowd.
  • Brandi puts on the Boston Crab.
  • Miss Madness rolls under and rolls her up for two.
  • Scoopslam from Brandi, she goes up top, but Miss Madness brings her down the hard way.
  • Chops from Miss Madness...she sends Brandi to the ropes and gets a Sidewalk Slam for two.
  • To the ropes again, Miss Madness ducks a Clothesline and gets a pretty weak Head Scissors Takeover.  Brandi didn't lift her high enough to grab her head.
  • Whip to the opposite corner and Miss Madness follows with a Handspring Back Elbow.   I miss the Great Muta.
  • Whip to the other corner and Miss Madness ducks the attempt at a Cross Body block.
  • Miss Madness picks Brandi up and hits a Bridge Suplex.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3. 
  • YOUR WINNER: Miss Madness via Pinfall following a Bridge Suplex.
  • I think that was supposed to be a Northern Lights Suplex, but she broke her grip.
  • That wasn't too bad.  Miss Madness is actually pretty good, but Brandi Alexander sucked really badly.  I think the Miss Madness/Madusa match could be quite good if they take it seriously.

• We come back from commercial for a Goldberg montage to Megadeths' "Crush Em."   That was actually I nice little video clip.  Of course it helps that I'm a HUGE Goldberg mark.
  
  
• We have quite a substantial Goldberg chant as no music brings out the West Texas Rednecks.  Hennng is upset that they're playing MegaCrap and tells that "sawed off midget" Mean Gene to tell everyone on the hotline how popular Rap is Crap has really become. Hennig calls out "Goldturd" but says he's either not there or chicken so let's make the for this coming Monday on Nitro.
  

• Match #3 Curt Hennig with The West Texas Rednecks vs. Chase Tatum with the No Heat Soldiers.
  • We have a tie-up and Tatum just powers Hennig off of him.
  • Another tie-up Hennig with the go-behind, but Tatum break loose before Hennig can take him down.
  • Side Headlock from Chase and he cinches it in on Hennig.
  • Hennig whips out of it, but Tatum sends him down with a Shoulder Block.
  • Hennig pushes Tatum into the corner and hits some loud chops on him.
  • Whip to the opposite corner, but Tatum reverses and hits a Hip Toss as Hennig staggers out.
  • Tatum is talking smack to Duncum and Hennig blindsides him.
  • Hennig with some more nasty chops in the corner and he proceeds to beat the tar out of Tatum.
  • Tatum tries to come back, but Hennig goes to the eyes.
  • More chops and Hennig's Knee Lift sends Tatum down.
  • Hennig whips Tatum into the ropes and into a Sleeper Hold.
  • Tatum starts to muscle out and Hennig turns it into a Side Headlock.
  • Hennig pops Tatum as he steps out of the Headlock.
  • Hennig with a single leg trip and a leglock on Tatum.
  • He gets some added leverage from his boys.
  • Hennig is just working over Tatum with punches and kicks.
  • Tatum into the ropes, ducks a punch and hits sort of a T-Bone Powerslam on Hennig for two.
  • Hennig gets up and sends Tatum to the outside.
  • The Rednecks start working him over, but the No Limit Soldiers come to his rescue.
  • Swoll gets in the ring and Tatum holds Hennig for his Open Palm Thrust.
  • I REFUSE to call it a Heart Punch.  The Heart Punch was closed fist and illegal in 37 states.  I won't let Swoll desecrate a classic finisher.
  • Hennig gets out of the way and Swoll hits Chase instead.
    
  • Hennigplex. 1 . . .2 . . .3.
  • YOUR WINNER: Curt Hennig via Pinfall following the Hennigplex.
  • Not a bad match, but Chase Tatum is still a little bit green from the looks of things.
    
    
• As we head to commercial we get another vignette of Lenny Lane and Lodi.  This time they are hiding as Sid walks by and talk about how much of a monster he is.  I guess they have to wrestle him tonight.  They ask Jimmy Hart for help and he tells them they better have a doctor at ringside.
  
  
• We get a commercial for the WCW Mastercard with Sting.  Heh, I hadn't seen that one before.
  
  
• We come back to Tenay shilling DDP's movie debut on the TBS original movie "First Daughter."  I won't say much, except that it looks really bad. 
  
  
• Since we're talking about Page, we get a replay of the Triad calling out Stevie Ray and then the ending of that match where Booker T came in to make the save.
  
  
• Match #4 Psychosis and Juventud Guerrera vs. Eddie Guerrero and Mini-Me (with Hot Pocket)
  • Eddie always looks ready to beat some ass when he comes to the ring..
  • Here comes his tag team partner Misterio 619.  Well that's what it says on his Jersey.  I dont' know what it means.
  • I really do hope that Misterio has found a new idol in the form of Eddie.
  • Misterio is going to start off with Juventud.
  • Misterio mocks Juvie's signal for the Juvie Driver. 
  • Juvie chickens out and tags in Psychosis, so Rey cheapshots Juvie.
  • Juvie comes back in and tries playing to the crowd.  He gets soundly booed.
  • Full Arm Drag and Twist on Rey, but he reverses only to have Juvie reverse it and chop him down.
  • Juvie tags in Psychosis and as Rey is lying in the corner whips Psychosis into him.
  • Rey moves out of the way and Psychosis hits the ringpost and goes outside.
  • Juvie goes off the ropes, but Eddie grabs him by the hair and takes him down.
  • Rey charges at Eddie who back drops him over the top rope into an Asai Moonsault on Psychosis on the floor.
  • That was an AWESOME spot.  Words can't do it justice.
  • Eddie goes for a quick cradle, but Juvie kicks out at two.
  • Eddie throws Juvie outside and was going to hit a Springboard but Juvie moved so Eddie landed on his feet.
  • Of course since this is two minutes into the match, what we to relax are some commercials.
  • FU . . . oh nevermind.
  • We come back to Psychosis putting Rey into an abdominal stretch.
  • Psychosis sets Rey up on his shoulder like he is going to perform an Outsiders Edge. Tags Juvie who goes up top and hits a Guillotine leg drop on Rey.
  • Juvie covers, but Eddie comes in to make the save at two.
  • Psychosis tags back in and sends Rey into his corner, but Rey knocks Juvie off the apron and gets the boots up for the Psychosis charge.
  • Hot tag to Eddie who comes in and cleans house.  He dropkicks Juvie out of the ring as is beating on Psychosis in the corner.
  • Juvie gets him from behind as he is beating on Psychosis.
  • Rey tries to dive in and make the save, but ends up hitting Eddie.
  • Juvie charges in but Eddie picks Rey up and assists him in hitting a GIGANTIC Head Scissors Takeover on Juvie.
  • Eddie grabs Psychosis and puts him up on the top turnbuckle.
  • Rey charges Eddie and Eddie tosses him up so that he can hit the Hurracanrana on Psychosis.
  • Rey covers. 1 . . 2 . . .3.
  • YOUR WINNER: Rey Misterio Jr. and Eddie Guerrero via Pinfall following the Top Rope Hurracanrana.
  • That was really good match, but it was just WAY to short for my taste.
  • I think they could have thrown out Van Hammer versus Kaz Hayashi to give this one some more time.
  • Misterio and Guerrero celebrate in the ring.
    
    
• This weeks WCW Thunder ringside release is "The Haunting." Eh, I'd rather see "The Blair Witch Project."
  
  
• This Sunday at 9:30 on HBO, stars of the WCW will be on Arli$$.  The clip had Luger, Macho Man and Gorgeous George in it.
  
  
• Here comes the Macho Man, Miss Madness, and Gorgeous George.  The first thing the announcers notice is that Madusa isn't present.  Savage asks who we are voting for in the 2000 election and then tells us who we are voting for in that election.  George's outfit is letting the old ass hang out a little bit..  He makes fun of Rodman for wearing dresses and hitting him with a purse.  He challenges Rodman to come into the Madness.  He then says that Madusa has been fired and even though she's not taking it well, he couldn't really care.  Macho strips Miss Madness of her title for not understanding that he is the center of the universe.  He was cutting a good interview when it moves into that uncomfortable area again as I thought he was going to hit Miss Madness.
  
  Instead he made her get down on her knees and beg for her job.  She does, but he fires her anyway.  This was drawing major heat from the crowd, but I don't know if it was good heat or not.  He closes by saying that he hasn't forgotten about Nash.
  
  
• Well, I was pretty tired after that so it's a good thing we went to commercial.

• Match #5 Rick Steiner vs Sick Boy for the WCW TV Title
  • Welcome to the Suck Pound.
  • I've always wondered why dumb faces suddenly get so smart and savvy when they turn heel?
  • Steiner warns Goldberg about getting in his face.
  • Steiner powers Sick Boy into the corner, but breaks off clean.
  • Big right hands from Steiner and a whip to the ropes followed by a Steinerline.
  • Steiner just beats on Sick Boy.
  • Sick Boy tries to fight out, but Steiner just pounds on him some more and hits a Release German Suplex.
  • Steiner with a weird Armbar submission hold.
  • Scoop Slam and Steiner's already up to the second rope.
  • Shitty Bulldog of Doom.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3. Well that was quick.
  • YOUR WINNER: Rick Steiner via Pinfall following the SBOD
  • Well at least it was short.  Although, Sick Boy is a good worker and he needs to be able to show his skills some more.
    
    
• When we come back from commercial we're going to be talking with Kevin Nash.
  
  
• Tenay and Larry talk about the history of Nash and Hogan.  We see the end of the Horace and Steiner match from Monday.  Then Nash running in on Hogan versus Sid, then Sting running in, then Rick Steiner running in and finally Goldberg cleaning house.
  
  
• We get Kevin Nash via phone and the connection doesn't start off too good, but they fix it.  Nash says that he's got a challenge for Hogan and Sting that if they want to tag, they can take on Nash and his mystery partner.  The only clue Nash would give is that he's known the guy for 9 years and that he's a good buddy.  I don't do predictions, but my guess is Scott Hall.  Nash says that you always have to keep your enemies closer and that's part of the reason Hogan was in the original nWo.  He says that it's time Hogan passes the Baton to him.  Nash goes on to rag Hogan for suddenly being a good guy and *gasp* brings up the continuity of what a scumbag he used to be.
  
  
• Match #6 Sid Vicious  vs. Lodi and Lenny Lane
  • Lodi and Lane out first.
  • "We Can Beat Sid."
  • "Somebodies Going Down."
  • "I Hate the Quad Cities."
  • Lenny shoves Lodi right into a chokeslam and tries to punch Sid out of doing it.
  • Sid, of course, no-sells the hell out of that.
  • Sid abusing Lane in the corner.
  • Cobra Clutch Slam on Lane, dropping Lane on the back of his neck.
    .
  • Powerbomb for Lodi.
  • Powerbomb for Lane.
  • Lenny crawls on top of Lodi in a precarious position for a moment, causing even Tenay to exclaim, "Did you see that?"
    
  • Stacks them and puts his foot on the pile.
  • 1 . . . 2 . . .3.  You think Lodi and Lenny's last name is Mulkey???
  • YOUR WINNER: Sid Vicious via Pinfall following two Powerbombs.
  • Well that was a squash if there ever was one.
    
    
• We got to a whole slew of commercials to cut down on the actual time in the main event by at least 5 minutes.  Maybe that time could have been given to the Cruiserweights.   Nahhh, what am I thinking?
  

Back to DDT Digest