WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 08/30/99

WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 08/30/99

Uniondale, NY

By Wade

I'll add the pre-show report/mailbag/etc. later Tuesday morning, so check back if you're interested.
We start off in Long Island with Disorderly Conduct already in the ring.
Match 1: Disorderly Conduct vs. Steven Regal and David Taylor
- Regal and Taylor are stepping through the ropes as we start.
- Sid run-in?
- Mean Mike gets some offense in on Regal, and avoids a senton from Taylor.
- Tuff Tom tags in, but Taylor regains the advantage.
- Taylor hits the Butterfly Suplex, but Mike makes the save.
- Hey! It's F**king Sid!
- F**king Sid dumps Regal and Taylor, and powerbombs the Disorderlies.
- Can anyone explain how Charles Robinson can be both a referee and Sid's lackey.
- Sid gets on the stick, and I get on the mute button.
- During a pause in his far-too-lengthy rant, one of the Disorderlies gets another powerbomb. He finishes the verbal diarreah with another powerbomb.
- Can I mention again how asanine this angle is?
Lodi and Lenny are somewhere, but I can't figure out what's going on due to audio problems
- They show up in a Taxi.
- From what I can figure out, security wouldn't let Lodi by until Lenny and the Cruiserweight belt convinced them.
A look back at last week - Goldberg/DDP, Bischoff in the Hummer, F**king Sid, Hogan/Luger/Sting, and (snicker) Kiss.
- Gotta love the quarter-hour ratings for the Hottest Band in the World, huh? Ha ha ha!!
Nitro Girls.
Tony brings up Goldberg winning the US title from the recently departed Raven at 75-0.
Tony says that Brian "The Demon" Adams will be here tonight.
- Dan: my god it's a KISS wrestler . . . we'd much rather see that then Mick Foley win a title . . . that should put asses in seats . . .
Mean Gene calls out Lex Luger
- Luger comes out wearing Yankees gear.
- Gene asks Luger if Hogan is for real.
- Luger says tonight may be the most important night for him tonight.
- Luger said the red and yellow stood for good, but Hogan proved for the last three years that it was a sham.
- Luger says that he has irrefutable evidence on the way that will show everyone that Hogan is a scammer.
- The crowd boos Luger.
- At least Luger is taking the logical track.
Berlyn is in the arena
- Berlyn has secret service guys on either side of his limo.
- It's a Mercedes limo, reinforcing the "German" thing.
- Berlyn has a big-breasted interpreter named "Uma Ludendorf" or something.
- Sigh.
Kiss/Daemon promo
- They should have a wrestler who's a Unix geek, and call him "Daemon"
Match 2: Lash LeRoux vs. Scotty Riggs
- Yes! Lash!
- Time for another run-in by F**king Sid!
- His opponent - Scotty Riggs.
- Riggs doesn't break cleanly on the ropes.
- The mouth-breathers chant "We want Sid"
- Riggs with his HUGE dropkick.
- LeRoux reverses a hiptoss to a monkey flip.
- Lash drops a forearm.
- Jawbreaker from Riggs.
- Riggs with a running knee in the corner.
- Hey, WCW - do you think that if you put any sort of thought into your programming, the crowd might react a little better?
- Riggs with a fistdrop.
- Lash with a sunset flip for two.
- Riggs with a big running clothesline.
- Another clothesline from Riggs.
- Vampiro and the ICP make their way down.
- LeRoux hits the split-clothesline.
- LeRoux hits a Northern Lights powerslam for two.
- Riggs with a kick to the gut.
- Riggs drops the Showstopper for the win.
- Vampiro comes in the ring, but doesn't break the pin.
- Vampiro tries to get friendly with Riggs after the match, but Riggs will have none of it.
- Vampiro tells Riggs "You owe me," and leaves.
- I'm impressed - no Sid run-in. They must be saving up to have 3-4 more a little later.
The Revolution comes out
- They have their own T-shirts now.
- Douglas plays to the crowd to a mixed response.
- Saturn challenges Rick Steiner for the TV belt at Fall Brawl.
- Benoit makes an open challenge for the US title.
- Malenko hits the catchphrase.
- They each take a corner, and then leave.
Nitro Girls.
Match 3: Kaz Hayashi vs. Lodi (w/WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Lenny Lane)
- Generic Asian music brings out Kaz Hayashi.
- Haven't seen him in a while.
- His opponent - Lenny Lane!
- My bad, it's Lodi. Lenny's just accompanying him.
- Lodi sign: "Please send more blowpops."
- Lenny's got tassles and a big purple bow on the CW belt.
- Lodi gets a shoulder rub from his "brother" before the match.
- Lenny "checks out" Kaz, who stares at him googly-eyed.
- Lodi accidentally clotheslines Lenny over the top rope.
- They blow a headscissors spot.
- Kaz blows another spot, flipping out of a backdrop suplex.
- Kaz kicks Lodi in the corner, and delivers a drop toehold into the turnbuckles.
- Kaz with a NICE slingshot DDT on Lodi, but Lenny puts his foot on the ropes.
- Kaz lands a twisting plancha onto Lenny.
- Lodi comes off the top onto both men, and throws Kaz back in.
- Lodi covers for two.
- Lodi with a powerslam out of the corner.
- Lodi puts Kaz up top, but Kaz reverses with a SuperFrankensteiner.
- Kaz flips out of a German suplex, and drops Lodi with a brainbuster.
- Kaz goes up top, but Lenny crotches him.
- Lodi lands a second-rope bulldog, but Kaz kicks out!
- Lodi bumps the ref with Kaz's feet.
- Double-knockout spot.
- Lenny comes in, and Kaz small-packages him for the pin!
- Lenny and Lodi attack Kaz after the bell, and deliver a doubleteam suplex/top-rope-bodypress.
- Hmmm...I can deal with Kaz Hayashi - cruiserweight contender.
Gene intros a guy who has "Always been here with us," Hulk Hogan
- See, this is why WCW has the "crackhead" reputation. Why can't they just say "A guy we loved, who we hated, but who's seen the light." Sheesh.
- Hogan gets the big New York pop.
- Hogan credits the face turn to his son.
- Hogan promises that he'll never stab Sting in the back.
- Hogan wants to see Luger's proof.
- Hogan says he's going to be sitting in the back, eating fruit and being cool. Uh....Fruit Booties?
- Hogan says that if Luger is trying to frame him, he'll "kick Luger's ass."
Dinky and The Brain shill the new Hogan and Flair videos.
- A piano plays in the background. That's random.
Match 4: La Parka and Blitzkrieg vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. and Eddy Guerrero
- La Parka!!!! Blitzkrieg!!!
- Parka has a new red outfit.
- Man I wish I had a vidcap thing set up on my Linux box.
- Their opponents - Rey Mysterio Jr. and Eddy Guerrero.
- This could rule the world.
- Parka is, indeed, the Chairman of WCW.
- Parka moves Rey out of the way, to do the Parka Polka. Ray slaps him in mid-step, but Parka clotheslines Rey down.
- Parka spits on Eddy.
- Rey slides out of the ring with a spinning DDT.
- Eddy and Blitz in the ring now.
- Blitz with some flipping splashes, but Eddy comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
- Lionsault from Rey.
- Parka tags in, but Rey takes the advantage.
- Parka catches Rey on a springboard bodypress, polkas with him, and drops him.
- Parka with another bodyslam, and tags Blitz.
- Blitz holds Rey for a Parka enzuigiri.
- Parka accidentally hits Blitz.
- Eddy nails a NICE missile dropkick on Parka.
- Eddy with a SWANK rope-walk frankensteiner.
- Nice dropkick from Blitz.
- Eddy avoids a Blitz handspring, and he valuts Rey into a top-rope Frankensteiner.
- After sending Rey out to deal with Parka, Eddy hits the Frog Splash on Blitz for the win.
- NICE match!!!
Berlyn makes his way to the ring
- He's not dancing anymore.
- Berlyn's security guy frisks Mean Gene
- Gene sticks the mic in Berlyn's face. Berlyn starts speaking in German.
- Chick: "Attention - Berlyn has a message for the WCW."
- Chick: "He says he has a knowledge of wrestling that the American wrestlers do not understand."
- Chick: "When your wrestlers wrestle, it's just wrestling. When he wrestles, it's art."
- The funky ring lights are washing out the picture.
- Chick: "He has chosen the first man he will destroy."
- Berlyn: "Buff Bagwell."
- Chick: "Bagwell represents what Americans are all about. Narcissism and self indulgence, and the German machine will destroy him."
- Chick: "Yes, he has been here before, and yes, he speaks perfect English, but your language disgusts him, and he refuses to speak it again."
- Chick: "Bagwell, where are you. In my country, losing is...uh....uh....it is unacceptable."
Luger comes down roughed up
- Luger says that someone attacked him from behind, and he saw red and yellow out of the corner of his eye
- Luger rants about Hogan going through his bags, and breaking the windows in his car.
- Luger rushes off.
Match 5: Kenny Kaos and Prince Iaukea vs. WCW World Tag Team Champions Barry and Kendall Windham (w/Curt Hennig)
- Prince and Kaos have words coming to the ring. Prince doesn't look happy to be there.
- Their opponents - the tag champs.
- Kendall starts off against the Prince, and takes control.
- Tony calls the Windhams "a new duo." Uh....they're brothers.
- Prince with a top-rope bodypress and springboard dropkick.
- Kendall with a big boot.
- Kendall takes Iaukea down with chops, then lands a leaping DDT.
- Kendall dumps the Prince to the floor.
- Kendall drops a knee, the ref is out of position, but gets back into position to count the pin!
- Kendall rants about the lack of tag teams.
- Barry says that Harlem Heat isn't worth fighting.
- The Heat hits the ring, and the Windhams are fighting them.
- The Windhams get whipped into each other.
- Booker takes the measure of Kendall, hits a Harlem Sidekick, and the ref counts the pin.
- Duncum hits the ring with the cowbell, and starts to hogtie Booker.
- The Rednecks beat up Booker and Stevie for a bit, and leave with their belts.
Lex Luger calls out Sting
- Luger and Sting shake hands.
- Luger has his envelope of evidence.
- Luger says that he's got irrefutable proof.
- Luger says that Hogan drove the elusive white Hummer that hit Nash.
- We see the picture, and it's of Hogan in black-and-white standing by a white Hummer.
- Hogan comes down the aisle.
- Hogan: "That doesn't prove anything. Where'd you get this?"
- Sting wants to see the picture again.
- Hogan wants Sting to look into his eyes.
- Sting questoins Hogan.
- DDP runs down, sucker-punches Hogan in the back of the head, and leaves.
- Sting: "How many times have you stabbed me in the back already. Why am I supposed to believe you?"
Match 6: Van Hammer vs. Buff Bagwell
- Oh no. Van Hemmorhoid.
- He'll be facing the recently-challenged Buff Bagwell.
- They stall to start.
- Buff plays to the crowd.
- Buff with an armdrag.
- Berlyn's "German entourage" comes out to take notes on Bagwell.
- What is this, Der YorkFoundation?
- Hammer chokes Buff against the ropes.
- Hammer tosses Buff around.
- Buff ducks a clothesline, and hits a hiptoss on his third try.
- Clothesline from Buff.
- Hammer catches Buff up top, and biels him by the neck.
- Hammer works Buff over on the outside.
- Hammer locks on some deadly restholds.
- Hammer takes Buff's arms and mocks his posing.
- Buff with a low blow on the second one.
- Buff with a running bodypress for two.
- Buff goes to the apron on a corner charge, and quickly hits the Blockbuster for the win.
We see footage from June 7 of the white hummer hitting Kevin Nash's limo.
ICP commercial.
Match 7: Mike Enos vs. Evan Karagias
- Mike Enos comes down.
- His opponent - Evan Karagias.
- Evan takes Enos down with dropkicks, and sends Enos to the floor.
- Evan is working the knee.
- Evan tries a springboard bodypress to the floor, but Enos catches him.
- Enos brings him up to the apron, and tosses him back into the ring.
- Fan: "F**k him up, Enos!"
- Enos with a double-sledge to the back, and does a powerbomb setup into a powerslam.
- I smell a Sid run-in.
- Evan mounts the corner to pound on Enos, but Enos powerbombs him out.
- Enos: "Who do you want?"
  Crowd: "Sid!"
  Enos: "Sid ain't nothing. Enos! Enos!"
- Enos powerslams Evan.
- Enos with the alley-ooop flapjack.
- Enos pulls Karagias up at two.
- Enos with a VICIOUS piledriver.
- ICP and Vampiro come down again.
- Short-arm clothesline from Enos.
- Are we getting ready to see the Flock, version 2.0?
- Vampiro comes off the top with a spinwheel kick on Enos, and hits the Nail in the Coffin.
- Evan covers Enos for the pin!
- Vampiro slaps Evan around and also tells him "You owe me."
- Kiss's "God of Thunder" comes on, the coffin rises, and The Demon makes his way out.
- Demon: "Hey Vampiro - not here, not now, not this time."
- We fade to black....
Match 8: Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas
- The First Family of Flab comes down.
- We look back at Rick Steiner making his presence felt in the Revolution vs. Family match last week.
- Their opponents: The Revolution.
- This will be Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas.
- Knobbs calls the Revolution "crybabies."
- All four men brawl at the start.
- The FF's doubleteam Douglas in the corner.
- Douglas takes a Pit Stop.
- Knobbs whips Douglas into a Morrus short-arm clothesline.
- Avalanches by both FF members.
- Malenko finally has enough and takes on both FF members.
- Douglas dumps Morrus.
- Leg lariat from Knobbs.
- Malenko sets up for the Cloverleaf, and turns him over.
- Jimmy Hart tries to interfere, but Malenko sees him just in time.
- Knobbs accidentally splashes Hart, then Malenko dropkicks Knobbs.
- Morrus comes back to assist the Malenko doubleteam.
- Back in the ring, Douglas avoids the No Laughing Matter.
- Douglas dumps Morrus, and then dives off the top onto all three FF members on the floor.
- The ref's counting in the ring as the brawl goes on in the aisle, and we get a double-countout.
- The brawl continues to the back.
- I can't believe how ineffective WCW is making the Revolution look.
We continue the Mean Gene Show
- We get yet another Hogan appearance tonight.
- So it's the Gene & Hogan Show.
- Hogan thanks the people for sticking with him.
- Hogan brings up his son again.
- Hogan says he'll deal with Luger next week.
- Hogan says he's sick of DDP calling him out "every week." Uh....did I miss that?
- Hogan says he wants to get it on with DDP, but he knows that Goldberg's supposed to face Page.
- Hogan calls Goldberg down to the ring.
- Goldberg makes his way down.
- Hogan wants a favor.
- Hogan wants Goldberg's match with DDP.
- Goldberg proposes Hogan/Goldberg vs. The Triad.
- The two hug.
- The Triad comes to the top of the ramp.
- Page accpets the handicap match.
- It's all about killing the Triad's credibility. Get ready for another 2-on-8 match or something.
Match 9: Disco Inferno vs. WCW World Television Champion Rick Steiner
- Disco comes out in his Dennis Rodman/pimp outfit.
- Someone tosses a Wolfpac shirt on Disco's head. Disco looks at it, and throws it down.
- Disco gets on the stick.
- Disco says he's a superstar, a sex symbol, and a bonafide booty-shaking badass. He says he's an icon, livin' la vida loca, and all the girlies say he's pretty fly for a white guy.
- Disco says there's a guy in the back trying to be a top guy, just like the Disco Inferno.
- Disco calls out Rick Steiner, and tells him to bring "my" belt with him.
- Time for Disco to eat his squash.
- Disco says that Steiner's not an icon.
- Disco wants Steiner to give him the belt.
- Steiner attacks from behind.
- Steinerline.
- Steiner grabs the face.
- German suplex from Steiner.
- Steiner lands a belly-to-belly, and goes up top.
- Steiner lands the SBoD to complete the squash.
- Disco got NO offense in.
- Steiner applies an armbar, and punches Disco in the head.
- Perry Saturn runs down to assist.
- Steiner beats up Saturn, but Saturn gets a Superkick that sends Rick to the floor.
- Steiner takes his belt and leaves.
Match 10: Jerry Flynn (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. WCW US Heavyweight Champion Chris Benoit
- Jerry Flynn makes his way down to face....
- US Champ Chris Benoit!
- Flynn wants the ref to check Benoit, but attacks with a kick as soon as the ref goes to check the boots.
- Quick kicks in the corner from Flynn.
- Flynn chops Benoit down.
- Benoit catches a kick, and lands a dragonscrew legwhip.
- Benoit drops Flynn gut-first over the top rope, knocks him to the floor, and lands a baseball slide dropkick.
- Jimmy Hart distracts Benoit, allowing Flynn to regain the advantage.
- Flynn drops a knee for one.
- Flynn keeps the advantage.
- Benoit reverses a suplex into a small package for two, but Flynn gets right back up to beat on Benoit.
- Flynn with the running spinwheel kick in the corner.
- Benoit avoids a running kick in the corner.
- Benoit with the HUGE chops.
- Snap spulex from the champ for two.
- Triple German suplex from Benoit.
- The thumb goes across the throat, and Benoit goes up top.
- Jimmy Hart waves for the troops.
- Benoit hits the diving headbutt, but the First Family runs in.
- The rest of the Revolution makes the save.
- Benoit rants to the First Family, then challenges Sid.
Match 11: Kanyon, Bam Bam Bigelow, and Diamond Dallas Page vs. Bill Goldberg and WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan
- Michael Buffer comes out to do the honors.
- The Triad gets the first entrance.
- Kanyon gets to ask the question.
- Goldberg comes out solo.
- The champ gets the final entrance.
- Hogan and Bigelow lock up to start.
- Bigelow slams Hogan, and quickly goes up top.
- Hogan avoids the diving headbutt.
- Hogan punches Bigelow down.
- He clears out the other two members of the Triad as well.
- Hogan asks the crowd if they want to see Goldberg, and Goldberg gets the tag.
- Kanyon tags in.
- Goldberg with a NICE overhead release pumphandle suplex.
- Goldberg press-powerslams Kanyon.
- Bigelow hits Goldberg from behind, and it allows DDP to come off the top with a clothesline, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.
- DDP pulls out some knucks and hits Goldberg.
- Kanyon back in.
- Quick tags from the Triad.
- Chain wrestling from the Triad.
- Goldberg double-clotheslines DDP and Kanyon, and tags Hogan.
- Hogan tags in against DDP, and immediately Hulks up.
- Hogan hits the big boot, and Page goes to the floor.
- Kanyon gets speared.
- Bigelow eats the big boot.
- Goldberg goes for the Jackhammer on Kanyon, but Page chairs him.
- Hogan drops the big leg on Bigelow and pins him, as Page delivers a Diamond Cutter to Goldberg.
- Goldberg no-sells as Hogan chases DDP to the floor.
In the back, Sting is trying to get into Hogan's locker room
- He shoves a security guard away and opens the door to find Randy Savage and Gorgeous George inside.
- Sting stares at them as Tony exclaims "Maybe Luger was right!"
Hogan and Goldberg celebrate as we fade to black....

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