WCW Thunder - Thursday, September 2, 1999

WCW Thunder - Thursday, September 2, 1999

By Aldo

No mailbag or opener this week. Sorry, but between coursework and fighting a cold, there was no way I was going to get around to one.
From last Monday's Nitro: Luger shows Sting the incriminating picture of Hogan next to a white Hummer. *coughcough*
- What is that, two paint jobs for the Humvee now?
Regular Thunder opener airs.
We're live from Saginaw, MI tonight.
We see the bookerman-injuring Hummer clip from this June.
Your hosts are the usual duo. Tenay mentions that Goldberg will be wrestling The Cat later.
We see more clips from the Hummer summit three days ago followed by Sting finding Randy Savage and his woman in Hogan's dressing room.
Match #1: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Al Greene
- [CATCHPHRASES.] You think this line would be retired with Konnan in the doghouse? :-)
- DDP reiterates kicking Goldberg's teeth down his throat.
- DDP says he was going to challenge Goldberg right here tonight.
- DDP calls Saginaw a dump and because of this, Goldberg is off.
- DDP calls out Al Greene.
- "Future Squash Victim" comes out.
- DDP notices that Greene looks a lot like Goldberg, including the gut.
- DDP says that Greene looks a lot better than Goldberg, but he wishes he could say the same about his mother.
- After a "mother" joke, Greene attacks from behind.
- DDP runs Greene to the post and delivers a backdrop suplex.
- DDP follows up with a swinging neckbreaker.
- DDP with assorted offense near the ropes.
- DDP lands a forearm and chokes Greene on the rope.
- DDP with some boots.
- DDP applies a boot choke.
- Greene gets a jawbreaker in, but DDP comes back with rights.
- Greene whips DDP to the ropes.
- DDP blocks a clothesline, spins around Greene and delivers a Diamond Cutter.
- DDP stalls and then makes the lazy cover for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Diamond Dallas Page in a near-squash via Diamond Cutter in 2:05.
- Post-match, DDP tells the production crew to replay his Diamond Cutter.
Tenay promises us Sid Vicious vs. Saturn, Harlem Heat and a Cruiserweight title defense later.
Fall Brawl promo features Goldberg vs. DDP.
Added to Fall Brawl: Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas vs. Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus, no-disqualification.
Match #2: Dave Taylor (w/ Steve Regal) vs. Shane Douglas (w/ Dean Malenko)
- Steve Regal accompanies his tag team partner to the ring for singles action.
- His opponent: "The Revolution Member Who Gets Boos."
- Malenko is Douglas' second tonight.
- Lockup, Taylor attacks Douglas at the ropes.
- Taylor does a cross-corner whip, but Douglas comes back with a gourdbuster.
- Douglas applies a rolling snapmare, and Taylor goes outside.
- Taylor gets the advantage and hits a couple European uppercuts.
- Taylor with a single-leg takedown and a submission hold.
- Douglas bounces to the apron and into Regal's waiting arms.
- Taylor goes to the ropes and tries a forearm, but Douglas ducks and rolls him up for two.
- Douglas focuses on Regal outside and gets rolled up by Taylor for two.
- As Taylor gets up, his momentum runs him into Regal, knocking him off the apron.
- As Malenko stomps on Regal outside, Douglas hits the Pittsburgh Plunge for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Shane Douglas via Pittsburgh Plunge in 1:53.
- Post-match, Chris Adams beans Douglas with the Union Jack.
- Chris Benoit runs-in and kicks Adams out of the ring.
- The First Family run in for some fun, but get run off by the Revolution.
- All four members of the Revolution stand in the ring.
- Douglas gets the mic and says the SAME DAMN THINGS HE ALWAYS DOES. And I thought Konnan was repetitive.
- Douglas gets a mixture of cheers and boos tonight.
- Douglas turns his attention to the First Family and asks them if they know what they are fooling with.
- Douglas says that Malenko is going to tie them up in one thousand different ways.
  - Yours truly would like to see Dean Malenko take Brian Knobbs' arm and stuff it up his ass.
- Douglas speaks about the background of his former employer and uses it in context for his pay-per-view match.
- Malenko then speaks on the mic.
WCW Saturday Night this week features Lash LeRoux, Brian Knobbs, 4x4, The Cat and the Windhams.
Tenay and Zbyzsko hawk the new Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair videos.
We see a promo for Berlyn.
Match #3: Kaz Hayashi vs. El Dandy
- Yes! Kaz! He's probably the most underrated cruiserweight in the locker room.
- He'll be facing El Dandy tonight.
- I smell a Sid Vicious run-in.
- Kaz charges and is met by a kick by Dandy.
- Dandy gets in a shoulderblock.
- Kaz does an armdrag takedown.
- Kaz charges at Dandy, applies a body scissors and hits an armdrag takedown again.
- Dandy falls onto the ropes after a dropkick and gets pushed out by Kaz.
- Kaz follows Dandy outside with a corkscrew plancha!
- Back inside, Dandy takes control after Kaz runs into his boot on a charge.
- Dandy comes off the ropes and does a backward somersault over Kaz and a chop-fest ensues.
- Dandy gets the better of Kaz until he is floored by a belly-to-belly suplex.
- Dandy whips Kaz, who comes off the ropes onto Dandy's shoulders.
- Dandy counters with a front slam.
- Dandy gets in a scoop slam.
- Dandy goes to the middle rope and misses Kaz on the way down.
- Dandy whips Kaz to the corner and misses the charge.
- Kaz charges into the corner and meets a boot.
- Dandy rushes Kaz and eats a frankensteiner for two.
- Dandy and Kaz fight near the apron.
- Kaz springboards off the rope into a DDT for two!
- Dandy blocks a suplex and mounts Kaz on the top turnbuckle.
- Dandy tries a superplex but Kaz slams him off.
- Kaz hits his senton splash for the win!
- YOUR WINNER: Kaz Hayashi via top turnbuckle senton splash in 3:15.
- Post-match, Sid Vicious comes in.
- Kaz comes off the ropes into a Sid chokeslam.
- Sid powerbombs Dandy and pins him for "Win #76."
- The lights dim and Sid rants about chanting Goldberg.
- Sid talks about taking his anger out on Chris Benoit.
- Sid points to the sign held by Lil' Squeegee saying he is 76-0.
- Sid says that Benoit is the only Revolution member that stands out.
- Sid says some more pointless things and we go to commercial.
- Well, at least Sid came in AFTER the match, for once.
We see an all-new Berlyn promo.
Match #4: WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Lenny (w/ Lodi) vs. Kidman
- Tonight's opponent for Lenny: Kidman!
- Lil' Squeegee is the referee for this match.
- Apparently, Kaz Hayashi will face the winner of this match at Fall Brawl.
- Lockup, Kidman goes behind and takes Lenny down.
- Lenny follows by working on the arm until Kidman pushes him to the rope with some rights.
- Lenny hits a shoulderblock off the ropes.
- Lenny runs to the ropes and then skips around the ring.
- Lenny hits a boot and goes off the ropes.
- Lenny hits a shoulderblock and goes to the ropes.
- Lenny tries to leap over Kidman but trips as he gets up.
- Kidman gets some punches in out of rage.
- Lenny runs to the turnbuckle like a fairy, waves Kidman off and gets a clothesline for his trouble.
- Lenny whips Kidman, who answers with a flying headscissors.
- Kidman sends Lenny outside with a dropkick.
- Kidman connects with a baseball side dropkick on Lenny.
- Kidman then dives on Lenny and Lodi.
- Back in, Kidman hits a slingshot legdrop for two.
- Off the ropes, Lenny gets out of a Rocker Dropper attempt.
- Kidman goes to the ropes and thanks to Lodi, Lenny gets the upper hand with a clothesline.
- Kidman ends up outside and gets punished by Lodi.
- Lodi brings Kidman back in and Lenny covers for two.
- Lenny whips Kidman, who goes behind and tries a body scissors.
- Lenny counters with a face-first powerbomb for two.
- Commercials.
- Lenny slides under Kidman, but after a hair pull he eats a backdrop suplex.
- Kidman shoots Lenny cross-corner but misses the charge.
- After Lenny drops Kidman face first he covers for two.
- Lenny does the "Talk to the Hand" motion before covering for two.
- We are 21 days and three hours until WCW Mayhem.
- Lenny with the Interior Motives Resthold.
  - If you want to know what I'm referring to, watch the Discovery Channel. You'll know it when you see it. :-)
- Kidman fights out, but Lenny gets a knee to the midsection and a gutwrench powerbomb for two.
- Lenny with a scoop slam and a leg drop.
- Lenny covers for two.
- Lenny goes to the second turnbuckle but Kidman gets him from behind and hits a powerbomb.
- Kidman lands some rights.
- Kidman whips Lenny cross-corner and hits a clothesline on the rebound.
- Kidman gets sent to the corner, but does a floatover and hits the off-the-turnbuckle bulldog for two.
- Kidman sends Lenny to the corner.
- Lenny goes to the middle turnbuckle and crossbodies on Robinson.
- Kidman does his Rydeen Bomb.
- With Robinson out, Lodi comes in and DDT's Kidman.
- Lodi rolls Lenny on Kidman for two.
- Lenny whips Kidman, who takes out Lodi on the apron.
- Lenny tries a powebomb with the usual results.
- Kidman makes a one-hand desperation cover for two.
- Kidman pulls Lenny in position for the Shooting Star Press!
- Lodi cuts Kidman off, calling for the bell.
- YOUR WINNER: Kidman via DQ in 10:56.
- Lodi assaults Kidman until Rey Mysterio, Jr. makes his appearance on the top turnbuckle.
- Kidman reverses a corner whip so Rey can hit a Thesz Press on Lodi.
- Kidman sends Rey into the other corner for a Rough Rider on Lenny.
- The Lambda Brothers flee as Kidman and Rey stand tall.
For Fall Brawl, the Filthy Animals take on the Dead Pool.
1-800-CALL-ATT shill.
Fall Brawl Promo.
The Revolution come out for an interview segment.
- Benoit calls Sid Vicious by far the biggest man by stature he's ever faced.
- Benoit mentions Sid's comment about standing out, but insists he's stepping up.
- Benoit is giving Sid the opportunity to show him at Fall Brawl how tough he is.
- Benoit says Sid will have to beat him to death to take the U.S. title.
- Benoit says it will take more than a powerbomb to make him a believer in Sid.
- To close his monologue, Benoit gives the thumb across the throat.
- Saturn gets the mic.
- Saturn tells Sid that sometimes the hunter becomes the hunted.
- [INSERT TACKY REVOLUTION CATCHPHRASE.]
For the U.S. Title at Fall Brawl, it's Chris Benoit vs. Sid Vicious.
This Week In WCW Motorsports. Have I mentioned how ridiculous Riki Rachtman's dyed red hair is?
Fun with Coach "Buzz" Stern.
- Buzz has a pep talk with four trainees in a warehouse.
- Buzz says that of the four, only one can be selected for the Winners Club.
- That one is -- Luther Biggs, some blonde guy who looks like his biological clock is permanently set at 4:20.
- As Biggs leaps from the bench, he trips and falls to the floor.
- Biggs accepts a reward as he and Buzz ramble.
- Man, this might suck worse than Glacier.
Match #5: Disorderly Conduct vs. Harlem Heat
- Disorderly Conduct will lay down tonight for...
- The Harlem Heat!
- Since Bill's on vacation, we get no "Stevie Ray Looking Like a Bad Motherf***er" pic tonight. :-(
- We start with Mean Mike and Booker T.
- Booker with a wristlock.
- The two break at the ropes.
- Lockup, Booker with a hammerlock.
- Mike gets some token offense followed by a whip.
- Booker blocks a clothesline and hits a urinage.
- Axe kick gets two when Tuff Tom makes the save.
- Booker clobbers Tom from behind.
- Tag to Stevie Ray.
- The brothers Huffman do a delayed vertical suplex.
- Mike gets in an eyerake and a tag to Tom.
- Stevie reverses a whip and hits a powerslam.
- Stevie lands a running clothesline.
- Stevie beats on Tom in his corner.
- Tom gets an eyerake and tags Mike.
- Both men whip Stevie, who no-sells a double-clothesline.
- Stevie clotheslines both men and tags Booker.
- Booker cleans house and gets a spin kick on Mike.
- The 110^th Street Slam follows on Tom.
- Tag to Stevie.
- Booker whips Tom and goes to the corner.
- Stevie bearhugs Tom as Booker follows with the Harlem Sidekick for the win!
- YOUR WINNERS: Harlem Heat in 3:14.
- Post match, the Windham brothers run-in.
- Kendell ends up going outside and Barry follows soon after.
For the World Tag Team Titles, it's the Windhams vs. Harlem Heat at Fall Brawl.
Fall Brawl promo.
Match #6: Scotty Riggs (w/ Narcissist ripoff gimmick) vs. Prince Iaukea
- Riggs' fifteen minutes of fame continues tonight on Thunder.
- His opponent: Prince Iaukea.
- Tenay mentions Goldberg being at the Jim Valvano Golf Tournament, but makes no mention of Ric Flair being there.
- Riggs attacks Iaukea from behind, sounding the bell.
- Iaukea gets in an armdrag takedown.
- Iaukea whips Riggs cross corner and gets an enziguri in for two.
- Iaukea with a chinlock. THIS EARLY?
- Iaukea comes off the ropes and eats a dropkick.
- In the corner, Riggs does a boot choke.
- Iaukea gets some token offense, but Riggs brings him to the corner.
- Riggs with a cross corner whip and a high knee.
- Riggs whips Iaukea into a dropkick for two.
- Riggs whips Iaukea and telegraphs a back bodydrop.
- Iaukea gets some offense in, but Riggs hits in a lariat.
- Both men go outside and duke it out until a Riggs cheap shot turns the tide.
- Riggs goes in and drops Iaukea throat first as he hits the apron.
- Iaukea gets the advantage and goes up top but misses the crossbody.
- Riggs hits the legdrop DDT for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Scotty Riggs via legdrop DDT in 2:51.
- Someone please keep Iaukea off my screen.
Another Fall Brawl Promo.
WCW Hotline shill.
We see a really cheesey mock promo for "Cat-Bo," a new workout video featuring Ernest Miller.
Match #7: The Cat (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. Goldberg
- The Master of Cat-Bo makes his way out.
- Cat says he's going to shake up the world and whoop somebody tonight, so call his momma.
- Cat wants to work his way up from the top and calls out Hulk Hogan.
- Onoo mentions Goldberg, which Cat follows by saying that he whooped Goldberg.
- Cat says he'll take out Goldberg and Hogan, then follows by sending Onoo to the back.
- Cat says he's beat Goldberg once before and plans to put his mic up [MUTE] so the crowd can hear him kick his ass.
- Goldberg comes out to his original bad-ass theme. About time they realized "Crush 'Em" wouldn't work.
- Cat hits a standing side kick while wearing the RED SHOES OF DEATH.
- Goldberg responds with a spear.
- The Jackhammer follows. The Cat is hereby neutered.
- YOUR WINNER: Goldberg via Jackhammer in 0:35.
- A bit on the short side, but it's good to see The Cat get his ass handed to him.
They shill Goldberg vs. DDP at Fall Brawl again.
Another Hogan vs. Sting promo for Fall Brawl airs.
We get the fireworks at 9:50 P.M. EDT
Match #8: Sid Vicious vs. Perry Saturn
- "Generic Heel Music" brings out Sid.
- Speaking of which, the sound guy could be a dick by changing his theme to "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."
- Saturn gets the second entrance.
- Sid taunts Saturn to start.
- Lockup, Sid muscles Saturn to the corner.
- Saturn evades a punch, goes to the ropes and as Sid charges he pulls the ropes down, sending Sid out of the ring.
- Sid gets the advantage coming back into the ring.
- Sid lands some punches in the corner.
- Sid chokes Saturn.
- Saturn comes off the ropes, ducks a clothesline and HE PINS THE BIG MAN AFTER THREE SUPERKICKS!
- Just kidding. Saturn does get in three standing side kicks in and sends Sid out of the ring with a clothesline.
- Saturn tries a crossbody from the ring but Sid catches him.
- Sid hot-shots Saturn on the safety rail.
- Sid throws Saturn in the ring and follows.
- Sid does a cross-corner whip but runs into a boot.
- Saturn gets a missile dropkick in from the turnbuckle.
- Saturn comes off the ropes and tries a sunset flip.
- Sid grabs Saturn by the throat, lifts him up and gives him the chokeslam.
- Sid tears at Saturn's face.
- Sid lands some boots.
- Sid works in the REAR CHINLOCK OF MILD AGGRAVATION.
- Saturn gets some comeback offense but Sid front slams him after a crossbody attempt.
- Sid gets a two count.
- Sid whips Saturn cross-corner but misses the running kick.
- Saturn with an atomic drop.
- Saturn gets in ten punches on the turnbuckle, but Rick Steiner runs in to interrupt.
- YOUR WINNER: Perry Saturn via DQ in 5:40.
- As Sid sets up Saturn for a powerbomb, Malenko runs out, grabs Rick Steiner's TV belt and decks Steiner from behind.
- Saturn then clotheslines Sid out of the ring.
- Benoit and Douglas make their way in.
- It's funny how Douglas always tries to look menacing when he always comes in after the damage is done.
- The two parties yell at each other as we fade...
The Good: Kaz Hayashi vs. El Dandy and Lenny vs. Kidman (before the DQ).
The Bad: I'm getting tired of Shane Douglas. He's a decent grappler, but does nothing else of note in the ring and he says the same damned things on the mic over and over. The crowd doesn't want a revolution! They want to see why you were a big name in ECW!
The Ugly: Well, at least Douglas isn't as useless as Prince "Good Head = TV Title Reign" Iaukea.

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