WHAT DOES THIS WOMAN HAVE TO DO WITH STARRCADE?
A good question. I'll have an answer later.
- The Angle: Disco owes money to Johnny & Vito's "boss," Tony Marinara.
- Disco's out first. Lash follows. He points to his sideburns a lot.
- Marinara and his boys come out with Godfather style music.
- That's Godfather the movie, not Godfather the WWF star.
- Four man brawl to start.
- It breaks down to Vito vs. Lash.
- Vito dominates and hits a vertical supplex.
- Chops. Vito struts. Lash rallies.
- Vito with a Yakuza kick.
- The Bull is in. He holds the upper hand until Lash hits a hip toss.
- Disco tagged in.
- He nails both opponents and hits a weak looking atomic drop on Johnny.
- Clothesline. Russian leg sweep. One.
- Disco with sad-ass kicks in the corner.
- Johnny reverses a whip and takes Disco to the mat with a sweep kick.
- Vito assists Johnny, and they kick Disco.
- Vito with a decent clothesline.
- Johnny in, and they double-team Disco. Neckbreaker by Vito.
- Cover by Johnny. Two.
- Johnny works over Disco a little more, and Vito comes in. Wishbone.
- Vito taunts Lash, and Marinara's boys work over Disco.
- Johnny covers. Two.
- Marinara's goons with a double hip toss into a slam. Ouch.
- Vito with a slam.
- Vito to the second rope. He taunts the crowd and misses a kneedrive.
- Lash in. Two clothesines and a backdrop on Vito.
- Johnny eats a spinwheel kick.
- Johnny accidentally hits Vito.
- All four men are in.
- Disco and Lash whip the goons at each other. No effect.
- They lean at their opponents, and are hit with clotheslines.
- Disco and Vito outside as Lash and Johnny trade punches.
- Johnny with a kick, press slam... and he misses a top rope leg drop.
- Lash with a neckbreaker. Disco with a frog splash and cover.
- Vito off the top on to Disco.
- Vito rolls Johnny on top of Disco. Lash breaks it up.
- Lash pummles Vito.
- Lash elbows Vito into Disco.
- Disco goes for the chartbuster, but is thrown off.
- Vito shoves Lash into Disco, who has his back turned.
- Disco hits the chartbuster on his partner.
- Vito with a spinning DDT.
- Cover by Vito.
- 1-2-3
- Marinara taunts Disco.
- The goons beat on Disco some more.
- Marinara pulls a body bag out of his briefcase. Spare me.
- Marinara rubs ether into Disco's face. Spare me.
- The goons roll Disco into the bag and take him to the back. Spare me.
- Once through the curtain, they pull him out of the bag and dump him into the trunk of a waiting car.
- The car drives off.
- Time for the cement shoes, I suppose.
- The Angle: Madusa and Evan used to trade spit. That's about it.
- Madusa and her meat pies come out first.
- I bet she smells like steak sauce.
- Never mind.
- Spice comes out with Evan. Spice almost kisses him. The drama!
- Meat Pies jumps Karagias before he gets in the ring.
- She slams him into the steps.
- Evan threatens to hit her.
- She slaps him, and he drops her.
- He then nails her with a clothesline and a slam.
- He then goes for a springing moonsault. He misses.
- Meat Pies with a side kick.
- She goes up to the second rope and nails a dropkick.
- Meat Pies hits the mat, and you have to wonder if those implants are set to rupture.
- Really. This is a serious health issue.
- What if the damn things leak -- or just rip right out of her?
- She goes up again to test fate, and Evan slams her down.
- I swear I hear a ripping sound.
- Evan with a powerbomb.
- Evan with a pin attempt. Two.
- Meat Pies bridges up, and hits a powerbomb of her own.
- Meat Pies flipped to the apron.
- Rude awakening by Evan.
- "Boring" chant.
- Evan off the top to the floor. He hits the Pies.
- Spice to the apron. Here comes the screw job.
- She distracts Evan.
- Meat Pies nails Karagias from behind, and Spice tries to hit him in the nuts, but she can't find them.
- 1-2-3
- Meat Pies is your first female Cruiserweight champion.
- Not bad for someone who had to retire due to a stipulation in a WCW match a few years back.
- Huh. Right. Retire.
- Norman's dressed in Redskins gear.
- He screams when he sees a producer off camera.
- He asks Gene if he soiled his pants.
- The Angle: Norman's the cowardly champ. Meng is a "monster."
- Meng out first.
- Norman has a cart full of plunder.
- He puts on a helmet and throws a few items in the ring.
- Meng throws them back, and goes after Norman on the entranceway.
- He nails Norman over the head with a garbage can.
- Norman's on the run.
- Through the curtain, Norman grabs a chair.
- Two chairshots stun Meng. Norman throws him into some rigging.
- Meng no-sells a garbage can shot and a chop.
- Chops by Meng. Headbutt.
- Norman screams in terror.
- Meng starts tossing garbage cans.
- He throws Norman into the backstage dining area.
- Norman's on the run again.
- Meng tosses Norman through a table.
- Punch.
- Meng tosses a cinder block at Norman.
- Norman ducks and picks up a fire extinguisher.
- He blasts Meng and then hides under a table.
- Fit Finley and Brian Knobbs attack Meng.
- They hit Meng with chairs, garbage can lids and other such stuff.
- Finley hits Meng with a flimsy metal bar which bends.
- Finley and Knobbs leave.
- Norman emerges.
- He covers.
- 1-2-3
- Meng awakens and puts the ref in the Tongan death grip.
- David Flair gets a special delivery: a golden crowbar.
- Oklahoma is kidnapped by The Misfits.
- The Angle: The Revolution has declared statehood, but Duggan considers it blasphemy targeted at the good ol' US of A.
- The Stipulations: If Duggan can beat the Revolution, they have to do his janitor's job for 30 days. If the Revolution wins, Duggan has to renounce his US citizenship on Nitro. High concept, huh?
- The Revolution is out first.
- Duggan comes out and announces that his partners are... oh... my... goodness... The Varsity Club!
- Mike Rotundo, Rick Steiner and Kevin Sullivan.
- Crap. The Varsity Club sucked in 1988-89. These guys are like, way past their prime.
- Sullivan. Geez... another one who lost a "retirement" match a few years ago.
- There is one positive aspect to the return of the Varsity Club. Here she is...
- I don't know what they're calling her now, but that woman used to be ECW's Kimona Wanaleia.
- For those of you unfamiliar with her work, this next shot was taken in the summer of '96.
- Kimona danced at ECW Arena to distract the crowd while the ring crew fixed a broken turnbuckle. She almost got naked. Almost.
- I'm not kidding. She really did the dance. Video of it is available on ECW's Extreme Warfare Volume 2.
- But enough of that. Let's get back what promises to be a great match.
- So... anyone else smell a Varsity Club betrayal here?
- Oh, hold on a second...
- Ahem.
- Yup. She can still dance.
- Anyway... er... where was I?
- Um... well... Duggan wants to start the match.
- He does the goosestep and then sticks his tongue out at the Revolution.
- Shane Douglas is doing commentary, though he's supposed to be in the match. I turn down the sound.
- Duggan spends the next several minutes fighting Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko and Asya.
- He won't tag out, even after being double teamed. Even after the Club members hold out their hands.
- This goes on for a while.
- Finally, everyone but Douglas gets involved.
- The Club members club Asya and then turn on Duggan.
- Outside, Kimona does her cheerleader dance.
- Douglas leaves the broadcast position to cover Duggan for the pin.
- Looks like old Hacksaw's gonna have to move to Canada. I'd recommend living in Moosejaw, or maybe The Pas.
- The Misfits and Vampiro have Oklahoma locked in a cage that just happened to be lying around.
- Jerry Only speaks, and says nothing.
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
- The Angle: Williams attacked Vampiro after his match at Mayhem. It sort of ballooned from there.
- The Stipulation: If Vamp wins, he gets five minutes in the ring with Oklahoma.
- Oklahoma is in the cage... but he's got his microphone headset on.
- So, Oklahoma will call the match.
- Silly crap aside, this might be good. These are two old-style stiff workers.
- Vampiro leaps off the cage on to Williams.
- He tosses Doc into the barricade.
- Williams backdrops Vampiro.
- Standing kick by Vamp.
- They roll inside the ring.
- Vamp with punches, kicks and headbutts.
- Doc responds with punches and chops.
- Oklahoma screams "CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!"
- Pretty annoying. A great example of a match that's better without audio.
- Doc bounces out of the corner with a shoulder block.
- Williams with football shoulder tackles.
- He punches Vamp repeatedly. Chop.
- Vamp moves out of the way of what might have been an avalanche.
- Vamp with a belly-to-back supplex.
- To the top, Vampiro is intercepted by Williams.
- Williams gains upper hand, and hits a top rope over-the-head supplex.
- Jerry Only and the Misfits enter the ring.
- Williams makes short work of them.
- Vamp recovers and hits a spinning kick.
- Vamp tries a spinwheel kick that Doc turns into a supplex.
- Williams with a flurry of punches.
- Oklahoma calls it a slobberknocker.
- Williams tosses the referee around, and gets disqualified.
- This gives Vamp the win, and five minutes with Oklahoma.
- Williams brutalizes Vamp. Security comes out to break it up.
- Oklahoma is confident he can beat the fallen Vampiro.
- It takes way too long to let Oklahoma out of the cage.
- He's finally freed, and he kicks Vamp.
- DDT by Oklahoma.
- Stomp.
- Oklahoma's calling his own match.
- Vamp gets up and gives him a chop to the chest.
- Oklahoma rolls out. The Misfits roll him back in.
- The headset's not working anymore.
- Oklahoma ducks a kick and nails Vamp in the nuts.
- Twice.
- Vamp with a t-bone supplex.
- The Misfits go to work on Oklahoma.
- Vamp puts on his opponent's cowboy hat.
- Nail in the coffin.
- 1-2-3
- Vince Russo wishes Creative Control & Curt Hennig luck in their match.
- La Parka's with them. Bill?
- Russo says something "big" is brewing.
- Booker T tries to keep the peace between Stevie Ray and Midnight.
- Stevie walks out on them.
- The Angle: Creative Control started a feud with Booker. I don't remember how. Trust me, it's not important.
- The Stipulation: Winners get WCW World tag title shot.
- CC & Hennig out first.
- Hey -- Hennig lost a retirement match a month ago, right? Never mind...
- Booker out by himself.
- The lights go out, the bell tolls once, the lights come up, and Midnight is in the ring.
- Really, unless they're prepared to ring the bell 12 times, shouldn't she be known as 1 AM?
- Booker starts with a CC member. We'll call him Patrick.
- Patrick with the early advantage. As usual, no science.
- Booker reverses a corner whip and hits a clothesline.
- Patrick with a similar reversal, but he eats a spinning kick.
- Patrick tags in Gerald.
- Booker ducks a clothesline and hits a flying forearm.
- Two armdrags into an armbar.
- 1 AM is tagged in.
- Gerald gives her some shoulderdrives for fun.
- Whip to the corner, and 1 AM nails an elbow. Armbar. Booker tagged in.
- Whip on Gerald reversed. Booker tripped by Patrick and dragged out.
- Patrick and Hennig beat him up.
- Hennig tagged in. Punch to the gut, kneelift.
- Patrick (?) tagged in.
- Big boot to the face.
- I miss Bruiser Brody.
- Gerald tagged in.
- Booker gets the advatage and hits the axe kick.
- 1 AM is tagged in. Dropkick on Gerald.
- Hennig in. 1 AM leapfrogs him and knocks Shane off the apron.
- Hennig dumps her over.
- Shane and Creative Control work her over until Booker comes to the rescue.
- Hennig drags her to the apron, and chops her to the floor.
- Face rake.
- 1 AM is worked over by the heels as Hennig taunts Booker.
- Hennig with a front face lock.
- 1 AM pushes Hennig back, and tags Booker.
- Even though the ref was looking right at the tag, he says it didn't happen.
- Stevie Ray comes out, and Booker tells him to piss off.
- Hennig steps on 1 AM's throat.
- Stevie talks to Booker, but Booker ignores him.
- Patrick (?) tagged in. He slams 1 AM and gives her some elbows.
- Cover. Booker breaks it up.
- Another slam.
- Patrick misses a second rope elbow.
- Patrick and 1 AM crawl for the hot tags as Stevie talks smack at the ref.
- Booker and Gerald tagged in.
- Booker cleans house.
- Spinebuster on Gerald (?). Cover.
- Hennig pops Booker in the face with an international object.
- Stevie and 1 AM argue as Gerald makes the cover for the victory.
- The Angle: Rhodes is mad at the Powers That Be for firing his daddy and trying to stick him with a crappy gimmick. Jarrett is (well, was) the golden boy of the Powers. Instant feud.
- Rhodes talks about the situation backstage. Jarrett attacks!!!
- They brawl and make their way to the ring.
- Jarrett runs Rhodes down with a wheelbarrow.
- They brawl some more and take turns riding in the wheelbarrow.
- They make it to the ring, and brawl some more.
- Dustin uses a cowbell and rope.
- Outside, Dustin pounds Jarrett on the announcers' table.
- Jarrett into the ringpost.
- Inside, Dustin with more brawling.
- He pulls out some powder. Jarrett takes a face full.
- Dustin takes off this belt and whips Jarrett.
- The ref protests, so Dustin whips him, too.
- Dustin duct tapes the ref to the ropes. He tapes his mouth shut, too.
- Rhodes goes back to work.
- He whips Jarrett with his own chaps.
- Jarrett with a low blow.
- Here comes Curt Hennig.
- Jarrett chokes Rhodes.
- Hennig frees the ref as Jarrett uses a stick on Rhodes.
- Jarrett sleeper.
- Rhodes eventually tosses off Jarrett.
- Jarrett tries another sleeper and gets supplexed.
- Hennig gives Jarrett a studded strap.
- Dustin blocks a punch. Bullet slam.
- Dustin covers. Hennig pulls him off.
- Dustin with another pin attempt. Hennig nails him in the head.
- Jarrett gets two.
- Dustin sets Jarrett up for the shattered dreams kick.
- He nails it.
- Cover. Hennig pulls the ref out of the ring.
- Dustin pulls Hennig inside. He works him over and hits the shattered dreams kick.
- Jarrett dumps Rhodes over the top.
- They brawl up the aisle.
- They make their way to the area where the jumbotron is.
- While Rhodes fights Hennig, Jarrett climbs a ladder with a guitar.
- He clobbers Rhodes with it.
- 1-2-3
- David Flair cackles.
- The Angle: DDP used a crowbar on Davey's dad at Halloween Havoc. Davey's went nuts and injured DDP.
- The Stipulation: The first guy to get the crowbar down from a pole can use the thing.
- DDP out first.
- He waits in the corner.
- Davey emerges from the audience and sneak-attacks DDP with the golden crowbar.
- DDP crumples and falls out of the ring.
- The ref takes the golden crowbar.
- The ref tells the ring announcer to declare Flair the winner by forfeit.
- DDP drags his butt back in the ring.
- Davey attacks.
- Fairly quick offence that consists of brawling... Davey's actually putting some muscle into this.
- Flair actually tries a sunset flip.
- He hits a DDT. Cover. Two.
- Flair chokes DDP under the ropes.
- DDP recovers.
- Flair out of the corner with a clothesline. Holy crap! It actually looked good.
- Cover. Two.
- Flair argues with the ref.
- DDP up. Clothesline.
- Flair with a low blow. Body slam.
- Flair teases going after the crowbar, but he clamps on a figure four instead.
- DDP rolls it over.
- Flair gets the crowbar.
- He swings at DDP, who ducks.
- Diamond cutter.
- 1-2-3
- DDP picks up the fallen Flair and hits sets him up for a top rope diamond cutter.
- BANG!
- DDP decides to use the crowbar to crush Flair's nuts.
- The chick who sent in the weirdo Nitro party tape a few weeks ago runs out to save Flair.
- She drags him outside and cackles.
- Heenan says she looks like Elvira.
- Me, I'm thinking there's a bit of Bif Naked at work here. Must be the tattoos.
- Well, David Flair's much improved, though he's not his old man.
- But then, who is?
- The Angle: They're two men who have flip-flopped for years between being partners and enemies. They're enemies now, because Luger betrayed Sting.
- The Stipulation: Winner gets the managerial services of Elizabeth.
- The Parcel comes out.
- Sting comes out with Liz. He gives her a special can of mace to replace hers. He demands she leave hers behind.
- Obviously, Sting doesn't trust her.
- C'mon Russo, we can see this one coming a mile away...
- The Parcel attacks when Sting enters the ring.
- Luger whips Sting outside.
- He tosses Sting repeatedly into the railing. Then into the steps.
- Back inside, Luger with kicks, a slam and some forearm smashes.
- Cover. One.
- Luger talks smack to Liz.
- Sting no-sells a face slam into the turnbuckle.
- Luger talks smack to Liz again, and eats a slap.
- Sting punches Luger, who is now playing pinball between the two of them.
- It ends when Sting lands a sad-ass dropkick.
- The rasslers clothesline each other. Both are down.
- Liz enters the ring and tends to Luger.
- Sting gets up to let her know he's on to her.
- She tries to spray Sting with mace, except that ain't mace.
- Whoops.
- Sting tells her to move her sorry ass out of the ring.
- Sting knocks Luger down twice.
- Clothesline. Atomic drop. Clothesline. Bodysplash. Two.
- Kick. Face plant. Stinger splash. Stinger splash.
- Sting tries to lock on the scorpion death lock.
- Liz comes up from behind with Sting's bat.
- Sting tells her to leave.
- She motions like she will, and when Sting goes to apply the scorpion again, she does this...
- Luger's disqualified.
- Sting's out.
- Liz brings a chair in the ring, and she puts Sting's hand under it.
- Luger stomps on the chair, and takes the bat to Sting's elbow.
- Sting is helped from the ring.
- Another vacation for the Stinger?
- The Angle: An on-again, off-again feud that started in the WWF in 1995. Both men have the powerbomb as their finisher and say they are the master of it.
- The Stipulation: The man who first hits the powerbomb wins.
- Sid to the ring first.
- Nash next. Hey, didn't he retire? Never mind...
- Nash enters the ring and does all the same boring "I'm so cool" crap.
- You know, the arms in the air, the crotch chop.
- They lock up. It goes downhill from there.
- Nash with a kneelift. Punches. He puts Sid in the corner.
- Hip checks. Elbows. Same old crap.
- Supercool Kevin Nash walks back and measures Sid.
- Hey, why not? He's got to do something, because he sure can't wrestle.
- Elbow by Nash. Punches.
- Clothesline into a bullet slam.
- Nash misses a clothesline, and catches a boot to the gut.
- Sid tries the powerbomb, but Nash hits a low blow.
- They take it outside.
- Nash tries the powerbomb on the outside. Didn't work.
- Sid's got a cut on his back.
- Sid runs Nash back-first into the apron and the railing.
- Kicks to the gut. Nash into the railing.
- Chair shot to the back.
- Inside, and Sid hits a clothesline.
- Legdrop.
- Punches. Slam.
- Sid reverse-whips Nash into the ref.
- While the ref is down, Sid hits a crappy powerbomb.
- Jeff Jarrett out to help Nash.
- Another wasted guitar. Jarrett clears the ring of the debris.
- Nash tries in vain to powerbomb Sid as the ref takes forever to get up.
- Nash's back is hurting him, so he can't lift Sid.
- The ref eventually gets up.
- Nash points to the fallen Sid and says he nailed him with the powerbomb.
- And we get a finish worthy of Eric Bischoff. The ref takes Nash's word for it and awards Nash the match.
- Sid just leaves.
- I'd like to do the same.
- The Angle: Go back and read the earlier blurb.
- The Stipulation: First guy to snatch the US belt from a wire dangling high above the ring wins.
- Benoit out first.
- His opponent... yup... Jeff Jarrett.
- Jarrett comes out and calls Benoit "slapnuts."
- Well, then. That's significant cause for a brawl.
- And brawl they do.
- Benoit hits the first decent move -- a clothesline.
- Backbreaker. Kick. Chops. Superplex.
- Benoit goes up the aisle for the ladder.
- He brings it to the ring.
- He slides it in, and Jarrett baseball-slides the ladder into Benoit.
- Jarrett drops Benoit on the ladder. Benoit gets cut on the nose.
- Jarrett sets the ladder in the corner. Benoit whips him into it twice.
- Benoit sets the ladder, and goes for the belt. Jarrett stops him, and crotches Benoit on the top rope.
- Jarrett slams the ladder on Benoit. Twice.
- Jarrett sets the ladder in another corner. He drives Benoit into it.
- Benoit reverses a whip.
- Jarrett atomic drops Benoit on the ladder.
- With Benoit trapped, Jarrett yanks the ladder backwards.
- Splat.
- The crowd liked that.
- Jarrett looks to the belt, and sets up the ladder.
- Benoit clobbers him, and then hangs him upside down on the ladder.
- As Benoit climbs for the belt, Jarrett shifts his weight, and the ladder topples.
- Both men set the ladder and fight at the top of it.
- Benoit's juicing good.
- Benoit falls off the ladder, and then dumps Jarrett off it.
- Benoit climbs the ladder. Jarrett pushes it over, and Benoit lands on the ropes.
- Jarrett climbs. Benoit topples the ladder and Jarrett is crotched on the ropes.
- Benoit climbs. Jarrett off the top rope with a dropkick to the ladder.
- Both men down. The crowd applauds the spot.
- Jarrett set up the ladder again.
- He tries to whip Benoit into the ladder, but Benoit rolls under it, and then dropkicks it into Jarrett.
- Nice.
- Benoit climbs.
- The belt's his if he wants it.
- But he goes for a diving headbutt instead.
- The crowd loves it.
- Benoit to the top again.
- Benoit gets the belt.
- Nice match.
- The Angle: Two men who share mutual respect face each other for WCW's top prize. We won't mention Hart's humiliation of Goldberg back at the Toronto Nitro in March.
- The Stipulation: No disqualification. So, there must be a winner. Or a screwjob to save face.
- Michael Buffer does a variation of the usual schtick.
- Hart, the champ, comes to the ring first. I hate that.
- Goldberg and his useless entourage come out next.
- The ref yaks at both men, and then Goldberg and Hart shake hands.
- They lock up.
- Goldberg pushes Hart into the corner. Clean break.
- Another lock up. Goldberg shoves Hart to the mat and out of the ring.
- Hart enters the ring. Lock up, and Hart applies a headlock.
- Goldberg shoves out of it, and shoulderblocks Hart to the mat.
- Press slam by Goldberg into a nasty powerslam.
- Nice.
- Goldberg with a weak clothesline.
- He hits a better clothesline.
- Goldberg tries the ankle lock submission. Hart tries to turn it into a sharpshooter.
- They become entangled. Hart rolls outside.
- Goldberg goes after him. Forearm to the back.
- Hart replies with a shot to the gut.
- Hart whips Goldberg at the railing, but wipes out referee Billy Silverman.
- Charles Robinson comes out to call the match.
- Goldberg maintains the momentum, and tosses Hart inside.
- Big boot to the face by Goldberg. Forearm.
- Goldberg chant.
- Hiptoss slam by Goldberg -- and Hart's foot takes out Charles Robinson.
- Goldberg tries to spear Hart, but Hart moves out of the way.
- Goldberg hits the corner and is stunned.
- A third ref, Johnny Boone, comes out.
- Hart applies the ringpost figure four. He doesn't really get all of it.
- Hart lets it go, and rests. Goldberg falls out of the ring.
- Hart throws Goldberg back in.
- Hart works on Goldberg's left leg for a few minutes.
- Hart with a punch to the gut and a snapmare.
- The Hitman applies the figure four.
- For some reason, Goldberg is bleeding.
- Goldberg chant.
- Goldberg rolls over and escapes the move.
- Goldberg stops a legtrip attempt with a punch.
- Hart works over Goldberg in the corner.
- Hart twists the leg over the rope. He stomps it.
- Hart with punches. Goldberg grabs Hart by the throat and forces him into the corner.
- Brawling.
- Hart winds up for a punch and a third ref goes flying.
- Goldberg hits a back kick.
- He nails the spear. No armor plate to save Hart this time.
- Your fourth ref comes out.
- He's Roddy Piper.
- Hart chop blocks Goldberg and applies the sharpshooter.
- Before it's even fully locked, Piper calls for the bell.
- Just like Montreal. Well, kind of.
- Hart's flabbergasted. So's Goldberg.
- Piper walks away with the belt.
- Hart's in pursuit.
- When confronted, Piper gives Hart the belt.
- We get a shot of Goldberg, and then a promo for Souled Out.
Er, that's it!
One thought before I wrap up. And it's for Bret Hart.
Bret, with all the bitching you've done about the Montreal incident, I'm really surprised you'd agree to turn it into an angle.
I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.