On that note, I have nothing interesting to say, so let's get on with the report.
Well, maybe one thing. Rest in peace, Bobby Duncum, Jr.
- It just goes to show you, folks. A lack of work ethic, combined with minimal speaking ability and a penchant to attack other wrestlers with weapons will get you to the top of the industry.
- Gene says that Sid is on top of the world.
- To his credit, Sid is actually getting a good pop.
- Sid says he was on Nitro to stand for WCW.
- Sid says the nWo tried to stop him and outlaw the powerbomb but came out on top anyway.
- Sid says it wasn't meant to be for the nWo to come out on top all the time.
- Sid says he won the WCW title but will not be happy until he wins an unconditional victory over the nWo.
- Seemingly on cue, the nWo and their entourage come out. I wonder if they realize that bringing out women with the nWo negates the heel heat that the group is supposed to receive.
- Nash says as commissioner he does things at times that sicken him.
- Such as working a match.
- Nash says that he has to abide by stipulations.
- Oh, gee, how can we cheapen the title tonight?
- Nash says that Sid had to defeat one of the Harris Brothers to face him later that night.
- Nash shows a clip of Sid using the "outlawed" powerbomb and pinning the wrong Harris brother.
- We continue with a clip of the referee counting Sid out that did not show on Nitro.
- Nash tells Sid to relinquish the world title to the owner, "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash.
- Nash tells David Penzer to remove the belt from Sid.
- Nash says if Sid doesn't give the belt up, the nWo will come to the ring and take it.
- Sid stretches his arms out as Penzer removes the belt from his waist.
- Nash points out the steel cage overhead.
- Nash says that Sid has a chance to regain the title in a cage match against himself and the Harris brother that was not beaten, which is Ron.
- Stipulations for said match: The powerbomb is illegal, and Sid must pin Nash to win the title.
- Wow, Overbooking-mania is running wild tonight.
- Gene runs down some famous names that have played at the MGM Grand but says The Maestro wasn't one of them.
- Maestro goes ballistic and runs down the names Gene called, then says he "will not be denied no longer."
- Symphony says "How rude!" to Gene to close the interview.
- I now know why Ryan Shamrock never spoke in her WWF run.
- Wade: Instead of Toys for Tots, it's "Slots for Sluts."
- Maestro plays a little number on his piano before hitting the ring.
- Yes! Smiley!
- A bunch of showgirls lead out Smiley, decked in a white tuxedo and hat.
- The showgirls accompany Smiley to the ring and do the SMBU with him.
- As Smiley dances with one of the girls, Maestro decks him from behind.
- They go outside, and Smiley hammers Maestro with a chair.
- A ladder is set-up ringside and Maestro whips Smiley into it.
- Maestro grabs the ladder and Smiley heads to the entryway.
- Smiley grabs a chair as a shield but Maestro kicks the chair.
- They go backstage, with Smiley being tossed into various objects.
- Smiley slams Maestro through a table.
- Smiley with a trashcan shot.
- A mummy coffin opens up and out pops The KISS Demon?!?
- Smiley goes into shock and Maestro covers him for the win? Oh, my God.
- YOUR WINNER: The Maestro via pinfall in 1:49.
- DUD for the match, minus for the stupidity of the booking, yielding...
- To quote a popular Star Wars phrase: I have a bad feeling about this.
- This will be a first-round match in the cruiserweight tournament.
- Prince's opponent: WCWSN reporter Dan's favorite wrestler, Kid Romeo.
- Prince attacks Romeo before the bell.
- Romeo hits a Thesz Press off the ropes.
- Romeo whips Prince cross-corner, whom flies over the ropes.
- Prince goes to Paisley for attention.
- Romeo and Prince punch each other as we see Standards and Practices (in street clothes) and Ms. Hancock.
- Romeo with some rights in the ring.
- Prince reverses a whip and hits a right.
- Ms. Hancock takes notes at the announcer's booth while S&P head to the back.
- Romeo whips Iaukea into a spinning heel kick.
- Romeo with another whip but gets his leg caught on a kick.
- Romeo spins around and tries another kick but Prince catches his leg again.
- Romeo with an enziguiri.
- Romeo goes up top and lands a missile dropkick for 2 as Paisley interferes.
- Romeo argues with Paisley as Prince lands a shot to the back.
- Prince with what Tenay calls a "great inverted move" (suplex) for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: TAFKA Prince Iaukea via inverted suplex in 2:53.
- WCW failed gimmick #78,914 makes his way out.
- Brian Adams or Dale Torborg? You make the call. Frankly, I don't care.
- His opponent: Terry Funk.
- They lock up, and the Demon starts with a couple rights.
- Funk comes back with some punches.
- Funk with some headbutts that barely make contact.
- Demon comes back but Funk keeps him on the mat.
- Funk tries a boot choke near the ropes but gets tossed outside.
- Funk reverses a whip to the rail.
- They go inside, and Funk nails a neckbreaker for two.
- Funk with another neckbreaker for two.
- Funk shoves Nick Patrick and takes a swing at him, but Patrick ducks.
- This allows Demon to nail Funk in the nuts.
- Demon with a double underhook suplex.
- Demon with some rights but misses a backhand.
- Funk tries an abdominal stretch into a pin, but the two do the Kiwi Roll.
- Funk holds Demon down for the three.
- YOUR WINNER: Terry Funk via Kiwi Roll in 3:04.
- The Demon gets pinned by a freaking KIWI ROLL. Something tells me that big things are not planned for him. Thank God.
DUD
- As Vampiro walks to the ring, we see clips from Nitro where he is defeated by Kidman.
- Kidman walks out with Torrie. I guess this is a return match.
- Vampiro with a headlock and a shoulderblock out of a whip.
- Vampiro hits a gutwrench suplex followed by a cross armbreaker.
- Vampiro hits a snap suplex.
- Vampiro applies a backdrop suplex.
- Kidman reverses a whip, tries a Rocker Dropper but flips to the mat instead and beats down his opponent in the corner.
- Vampiro sends Kidman outside.
- Kidman whips Vampiro into the rail twice.
- Kidman charges at Vampiro but gets dumped on the announcer's booth.
- Back inside, Vampiro goes up top and hits a spinning heel kick for two.
- Vampiro with a whip but Kidman counters with a hurricanrana for two.
- Kidman tries a sunset flip out of a whip but Vampiro sits down for two.
- Kidman tries his corner whip-bulldog combo but Vampiro ducks.
- Vampiro lifts Kidman on his shoulders and gets rolled up for two.
- Standing side kick by Vampiro gets two.
- Vampiro tries a powerbomb but Kidman slips out and hits his tornado bulldog.
- Kidman goes up top but Vampiro cuts him off.
- Vampiro then hits the Nail In The Coffin FROM THE TOP and gets the win!
- YOUR WINNER: Vampiro via Nail In The Coffin in 4:02.
- I'm calling it now. This match will be nothing more than a posedown, followed by punching, kicking and resting.
- TP poses for the fans.
- Buff comes out.
- Your referee is Mark Johnson. No issue is made of his previous relationship with Buff by the announcers.
- Buff gets the better of TP on a lockup and poses.
- Buff with a scoop slam and more preening.
- TP with a knee and a right.
- TP tries a whip but Buff reverses and hits an armdrag.
- Buff with six punches in the corner before TP hits an atomic drop.
- TP with two running clotheslines and a pose. Sigh.
- TP puts the boots to Buff.
- TP with a boot choke.
- TP snapmares Buff and follows with an elbowdrop.
- TP covers for two.
- TP drops an elbow.
- And again. Cover for two.
- TP runs Buff into the corner.
- TP whips Buff cross corner but eats an elbow.
- Buff springs off the middle rope with a splash for two.
- TP hits a low blow, and both men are down.
- Buff with an atomic drop and a clothesline.
- Buff with a kick, off the ropes, and a spinning neckbreaker.
- Buff goes up top and hits the Blockbuster.
- Elizabeth hits the ring and stops the match with a baseball bat shot to the head of Buff.
- YOUR WINNER: Buff Bagwell via DQ in 4:14.
- Post-match, TP with more bat shots.
- As the referees hit the ring, TP puts Buff's arm inside the chair, but gets stopped before he can do anything.
DUD
- Three Count are in the ring and they do their number for a few seconds.
- The Mamalukes make their way out.
- Three Count stereo-dropkicks the 'Lukes off the apron.
- Three Count follows with high-risk dives to the outside.
- Shane covers Vito in the ring for two.
- Shannon tags in for a doubleteam suplex.
- Shane holds Vito for a double legdrop.
- Shane with punches in the corner, but it gets reversed into a powerbomb.
- Vito with a Mafia Kick.
- Tag to Johnny, and the two hit an axehandle.
- Johnny military presses Shane several times before slamming him. Impressive.
- Tag to Disco, who unloads in the corner.
- Disco goes to the middle rope and misses the elbowdrop.
- Tag to Evan and Johnny.
- Evan with a flying forearm and a Thesz Press.
- Tag to Shannon.
- Evan whips Johnny into a powerslam, then armdrags Shannon into a splash.
- All six are in the ring now.
- Vito and Johnny clothesline their foes.
- Vito and Johnny whip Shannon into an impressive hiptoss-powerbomb combo.
- Double boot by the 'Lukes lead to a Last Dance by Disco.
- Johnny covers Shannon for the win as his teammates beat up their foes.
- YOUR WINNERS: The Mamalukes via Last Dance in 4:00.
- Post-match, Vito does a bad singing job for "New York, New York" as Johnny and Disco shake their rumps.
- David Flair, Daffney and Crowbar enter the ring from behind and knock the 'Lukes out of the ring with lead pipes. Of course, Daffney used a low blow.
- Crowbar does a nice air guitar with his pipe as David and Daffney dance.
- Tony: "It's American Bandstand!"
- Average match, but good doubleteams by both sides bump this to...
- Booker gets jumped by Flynn before the match starts.
- Flynn sends Booker over the rail, then back to ringside.
- Back inside, Flynn with kicks in the corner.
- Flynn with his whip-spinning heel kick combo.
- Flynn misses a front kick in the corner.
- Booker with the axe kick.
- Booker hits a side kick.
- Flynn reverses a whip but eats a flying forearm for two.
- Flynn gets a shot to the face.
- Booker counters a whip with the 110th Street Slam, then bridges him for the win! Nice!
- YOUR WINNER: Booker T via 110th Street Slam in 1:44.
- Bad match, cool finish, if not out of nowhere.
- If there's one positive thing I can say about Miller's return, it's that he doesn't have Sonny Onoo with him.
- Cat says he loves Las Vegas.
- Cat says the people wanted to see him and his red shoes.
- Cat says he loves the town but hates the people.
- Cat tries to get a fan to jump the rail.
- Cat cuts a rug for the fans.
- Kim talks about the match she refereed and how she is still friends with Buff despite the outcome.
- Gene does his Regis Philbin impression before DDP escorts Kim away.
- The winner of this match gets a shot at Knobbs' Hardcore Title.
- Now, there was a reason for Knobbs stealing the wrench out of Finlay's pocket, as Knobbs doesn't want to face his teacher.
- See what happens when you put in a little thought beforehand? :-) Anyway, the match, whatever there is of it.
- Finlay hits Bigelow out of a lockup.
- Finlay with a headlock.
- Finlay tries a shoulderblock, but Bigelow no-sells.
- Bigelow whips Finlay into the corner and hits a charge.
- Knobbs watches backstage.
- Bigelow reverses a whip to the corner and hits a standing spinebuster.
- Finlay rolls outside and find a table underneath the ring.
- Finlay sets up the table and goes to the apron.
- Finlay tries to suplex Bigelow but Bigelow counters with one of his own.
- Bigelow goes up top but misses the diving headbutt.
- Finlay reaches for his pocket but the wrench isn't there.
- This allows Bigelow to hit the Greetings for the win, despite Finlay's head being a foot from the canvas.
- Post-match, Knobbs laughs on the monitor, and Finlay realizes what happened.
- YOUR WINNER: Bam Bam Bigelow via Greetings From Asbury Park in 2:18.
DUD
- From Nitro: Replay of Sid Vicious getting counted out versus Don Harris.
- Nash and Harris enter together, with Harris in a suit.
- Sid attacks Harris to start, but Nash takes over.
- Schiavone makes a "1905" comparison to the WCW World Title.
- Before you e-mail me and ask, WCW makes references from time to time that their world title has been around since 1905. Not true.
- The current WCW World Title has only been around since 1991, when Lex Luger defeated Barry Windham for the vacant belt (created when Ric Flair was fired and took the original belt to the WWF) at Great American Bash '91.
- Sounds confusing, doesn't it. Check out this link, it would clarify the above situation much better than I could.
- Harris sends Sid into the cage.
- The heels doubleteam Sid.
- Nash sends Sid into the cage.
- I like how the referee tries a ten-count in a CAGE MATCH.
- Harris gets his blows in.
- Basically a one-sided match thus far.
- Nash with an elbow.
- Nash nails Sid in the gut.
- Nash with a boot choke on the cage.
- Harris chokes Sid with the TV wire.
- Nash sends Sid inside.
- Nash covers for two.
- Nash tries it again for two.
- Nash and Harris then gangpile on Sid and get two.
- Nash drops an elbow as a "Sid" chant is heard.
- Sid fights back with rights.
- Nash comes back with a low blow.
- Sid has a small amount of juice on his left shoulder from the cage earlier.
- Harris tries a book choke, then Nash follows with a "boot choke" on the groin.
- Outside, the heels tries to shove Sid into the cage, but Sid blocks.
- Double noggin knocker by Sid.
- Sid sends Nash into the cage, and then Harris.
- In the ring, Sid gets a chokeslam on Harris.
- Nash nails Sid from behind.
- Nash pulls down the strap and sets up for the victory, but...
- Sid puts Nash in some move that another wrestler used to use for the win!
- YOUR WINNER AND NEW WCW WORLD CHAMPION: Sid Vicious via submission in 7:05.
- Yes, I know that was the Crippler Crossface, by the way.
- Post-match, Ric Flair walks out and gives a round of applause. Great to see him and all, but wouldn't it make more of an impact if he did something?
- The cage rises, and Sid celebrates until we fade...
DUD