WCW Thunder - Wednesday, March 29, 2000

By Aldo

Hey. If you read the news sites, it's being said that WCW will take all of next week off and show "Best Of" shows in place of Nitro and Thunder. That being said, I will not be doing a report next week.
We open with the usual.
Match #1: "Hard Knox" Chris Candido vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
- Tenay starts us off by verbally sucking off the Bischoff/Russo connection.
- This is a rematch from last week.
- Candido unloads on Chavo to start.
- Chavo comes back with some punches.
- Candido reverses a whip, but Chavo baseball slides under and gets a headscissors and slam in.
- Candido with a waistlock, but Chavo goes behind.
- Candido with a suplex for two.
- Chavo shoves Candido into Robinson, bumping him to the outside.
- The Artist comes out from nowhere and gets into a slugfest with Candido.
- Michael Modest runs into the ring and gets into it with Chavo.
- Chavo hits a floatover DDT.
- Modest comes back with what would be called the Kryptonite Crunch in ECW.
- Candido goes up top and hits the diving headbutt for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Chris Candido via diving headbutt in 1:59.
- Post-match, Modest and The Artist get into it, but Chavo and Candido send them outside.
- Candido charges at Chavo and gets back bodydropped out of the ring.
- Chavo follows with a plancha as The Artist flees to the back.
- Damn it to hell, just let Chavo and Candido go at it without interference.
We go to Tenay and Heenan at the booth.
Some clips from last Monday's Nitro.
Dustin Rhodes (on a horse) is asked about Bischoff and Russo's return. This would be a trend all night with various wrestlers.
WCW Mastercard shill.
Brian Knobbs PSA.
We're in Houston, TX tonight.
As predicted with Bischoff booking, we see a clip of WCW employees playing basketball with some NBA guys and a couple Backstreet Boys.
Match #2: Barbarian vs. WCW Television Champion "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.
- Barbarian comes out.
- His opponent: Jim Duggan.
- I can feel the suck emanating from the ring.
- No mention is made of a title defense.
- Duggan threatens to hit Nick Patrick and Barbie with the 2x4.
- Barbie attacks Duggan from behind.
- Duggan gets whipped but he reverses and hits an elbow.
- Duggan with a running clothesline.
- Barbie goes outside and Duggan follows.
- Tenay is still mentioning Russo.
- Barbie takes control and chokes Duggan.
- Duggan rises up and forgets that he just got the crap kicked out of him.
- In the ring, Duggan with some rights until a "palm thrust" to the neck stops him.
- Barbie chokes Duggan near the apron.
- Barbie whips Duggan into a bearhug.
- Sigh...
- Duggan tries a hand clap and some punches but Barbie keeps the hold on.
- Duggan bites Barbie's nose to get out.
- Barbie with a boot to the midsection.
- Barbie misses the elbowdrop.
- Duggan brings Barbie to the corner and hits ten punches.
- Duggan with a scoop slam.
- Duggan sets up for the three-point stance but gets met with the Kick of Fear for two.
- Barbie has words for Patrick.
- Barbie pummels away in the corner.
- Duggan gets whipped to the corner but hits a running clothesline.
- The Old Glory ends this, thankfully.
- YOUR WINNER: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan via Old Glory in 4:23.
- I feel dumber already.
Match #3: Mr. Jones (w/ The Cat) vs. Dustin Rhodes
- Tenay announces next week's recap shows in lieu of Nitro and Thunder.
- Again, I ask: Why does The Cat, a proficient mic worker, need a manager?
- Cat addresses the crowd and says he did not come here to fight, but to dance.
- Cat calls out the hometown boy, Dustin Rhodes.
- Cat says the fans love Rhodes as much as him.
- Cat tells a fan to sit his ass down, then apologizes.
- Cat says that Rhodes can fight Mr. Jones.
- Jones misses with the briefcase, but Rhodes grabs it and connects.
- Rhodes with a running clothesline.
- Rhodes comes off the corner with a bulldog.
- Rhodes then hits his forward backdrop.
- Cat distracts Rhodes as Terry Funk hits the ring with a chair.
- Rhodes turns around and gets whacked by Funk, signaling the bell.
- YOUR WINNER: Dustin Rhodes via DQ in 1:15.
- Jones gets a chairshot, as well.
- Funk chases Rhodes to the back.
- Cat then cuts a rug in the ring.
- Jones puts the cape on The Cat and accidentally gets elbowed to the mat.
Slapnuts T-Shirt ad.
Match #4: Shannon Moore and Shane Helms (w/ Evan Karagias) vs. Los Fabulosos (w/ Miss Hancock)
- Three Count is in the ring (w/o circles) and all three guys get the mic this week.
- Three Count do some alleged dancing.
- Ms. Hancock interrupts the dance session as Three Count gawk.
- Hancock introduces Silver King and El Dandy.
- This could be good if longer than three minutes.
- Moore and Helms dropkick Los Fabulosos before the bell.
- We see Evan mac on Hancock outside.
- Some nice doubleteaming in the ring on Moore, including a hip-toss splash and double side-kick.
- Moore with a headscissors on King, followed by a frog splash by Helms.
- Moore somersaults onto Dandy (outside the ring).
- Helms goes to the ropes and headscissors King out of the ring.
- King goes outside to deal with Evan but Helms grabs him from behind.
- Moore yells from inside the ring, charges to the ropes and eats a Dandy drop toehold, pun not intended.
- Dandy then hits La Majistral for the win.
- YOUR WINNERS: Los Fabulosos via La Majistral in 1:34.
- Post-match, Los Fabulosos and Hancock celebrate.
- Waaay too short. If you're going to do lucha, let the wrestlers have more time.
Match #5: Disco Inferno (w/ The Mamalukes) vs. Tank Abbott
- Disco has the mic.
- Disco tells his boys about his match with Harlem Heat and that the winner of this match will be the #1 Contenders to the tag team titles.
- Johnny says that Vito wants to break some thumbs.
- Disco thanks the crowd and then Vito gets the mic.
- Vito corrects David Penzer, saying they are the Paisans and works the crowd.
- Vito says that Disco isn't doing anything for him.
- Vito says that they will manage him because he isn't managing them.
- Vito booked Disco against Tank Abbott.
- Disco backtracks a little and then faints to the mat.
- But Disco was faking, you see, so Tank picks him up and slams him.
- Tank with another slam.
- Tank charges Disco into the corner and hits more rights.
- Disco gets whipped to the corner.
- Disco tries a kick but Tank grabs his leg.
- Tank shoves Disco's shoe off and hits the HANDS OF STONE for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Tank Abbott via knockout in 0:50.
- Well, at least Disco didn't job to a girl.
Thunder Ringside Release.
Match #6: WCW U. S. Champion Jeff Jarrett (w/ nWo girls) vs. Booker
- Maybe we can get a good match out of this, assuming no one named "Harris" runs in.
- Jarrett tells the ladies that they can stay at ringside tonight.
- Jarrett says he'd rather look at a dog's ass than see some of the women in the audience tonight.
- Booker comes out. I don't care if he jobs, just keep Harlem Heat away from ringside, please.
- Jarrett takes a swing before the bell but Booker comes back.
- Jarrett ducks a side kick and gets a cheap shot to the face in.
- Booker reverses a whip but Jarrett lands a shoulderblock.
- Booker leapfrogs over Jarrett but gets kicked and whipped.
- Booker with a roll-up for two.
- Booker lands a knee and goes to the ropes, but the F***ing Harrises pull the top rope, sending Booker outside.
- Booker gets dropped throat-first on the rail.
- Back in, Jarrett covers for two.
- Jarrett whips Booker into a back elbow for two.
- Jarrett chokes Booker on the middle rope.
- Jarrett tries a diving hip from the opposite ropes and misses.
- A Harris gets on the apron and nails Booker.
- Jarrett whips Booker, who ducks two clotheslines.
- Jarrett applies a sleeperhold.
- Booker calls a spot, applies an armwringer and sends Jarrett to the corner
- Jarrett gets sent to the other corner.
- Booker charges and Jarrett floats over, but Booker slides out of the ring.
- This allows Booker to pull Jarrett to the post crotch-first.
- Booker then goes up top and hits a missile dropkick.
- Distractions from outside allow Jarrett to get the title belt and brain Booker with it.
- Cover gets two.
- Jarrett gets whipped to the ropes but bumps Robinson.
- Jarrett is handed a guitar and comes off top, but Booker grabs him for a urinage.
- Booker covers but a Harris pulls Robinson out.
- The other Harris comes in and kicks away, sounding the bell.
- F*** You, WCW.©
- YOUR WINNER: Booker via DQ in 4:37.
- Post-match, the F***ing Harrises try the H-Bomb, but Booker breaks free and dropkicks the two out of the ring.
- Yes, Jarrett is a heel but he is losing credibility every time he needs two guys to save his title.
Match #7: Harlem Heat (w/ Cash and J. Biggs) vs. The Mamalukes
- J. Biggs leads out Fat, Fatter and Fattest.
- Their opponents: The Mamalukes, sans Disco Inferno.
- Vito threatens Penzer again for screwing up their name.
- The Mamalukes embrace as the bell rings.
- Vito and Stevie start us off.
- Stevie shoves Vito into the corner.
- Stevie lands some knees.
- Stevie decks Vito.
- Vito whips Stevie but gets shoulderblocked.
- Vito hits an armdrag and a scoop slam.
- Tag to Johnny.
- Double whip into a twin axehandle and some boots.
- Johnny with some rights.
- Johnny tries a springboard moonsault from the second rope and gets swatted away.
- Stevie with a sidekick.
- Tag to Big T.
- Big T with a leaping front kick on Johnny as he comes off the ropes.
- Big T whips Johnny into a spinebuster.
- Big T whips Johnny, who ducks a clothesline and lands a spinning heel kick.
- Tag to Vito, who cleans house.
- Vito pummels Big T in the corner.
- Stevie hammers Vito from behind.
- The heels send Johnny outside.
- Cash bearhugs Johnny and runs him into the post.
- In the ring, all three Harlem Heat members supposedly beat up Vito, and Nick Patrick calls for the bell.
- YOUR WINNERS: The Mamalukes via DQ in 4:09.
- Johnny pulls Vito out to safety.
This Week In WCW Motorsports. Just how is a top-25 finish in a NASCAR race "decent?"
Match #8: Kidman (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. "Big" Ron Harris (w/ Don Harris)
- Kidman and Torrie make their way out.
- He'll be facing Ron Harris, who has his brother at ringside.
- Ron begins with some rights.
- Ron whips Kidman, who ducks a clothesline and lands a headscissors.
- Kidman nails a dropkick.
- Kidman baseball slides under a clothesline but runs into a big boot.
- Ron shoulderblocks Kidman in the corner.
- Ron whips Kidman into the other corner.
- Ron does it again.
- Crowd chants "D. O. A."
- Kidman with a headscissors.
- Kidman lands some rights and tries a whip but Ron reverses.
- Don pulls the top rope, sending Kidman outside.
- Don uses his "bad" arm to send Kidman to the rail.
- Don brings Kidman back inside.
- Ron with a scoop slam.
- Ron pummels Kidman in the corner.
- Ron whips Kidman to the corner but "runs" into a boot.
- Kidman with a dropkick and his off-the-turnbuckle bulldog.
- Kidman comes off top with a flying shoulderblock for two.
- Kidman sends Ron outside with a dropkick.
- With Mickey Jay distracted, Don comes in for another DQ.
- YOUR WINNER: Kidman via DQ in 3:34.
- A H-Bomb follows.
- Thank you, drive through.
Match #9: The Dog vs. WCW Hardcore Champion Brian Knobbs
- Billy Silverman leads out The Dog. I thought I said to never show this gimmick again.
- He'll be facing former "owner" Knobbs, who wheels some plunder to ringside.
- Knobbs throws some of said plunder to ringside.
- Dog splatters various "hardcore" objects onto Knobbs' noggin.
- Knobbs uses the fire extinguisher on Dog.
- Knobbs follows it up with a chairshot.
- Knobbs breaks a crutch and mop over Dog.
- Knobbs uses a paint tray next.
- Crutch.
- Garbage can thrown on Dog.
- Knobbs whips Dog into the rail.
- Another garbage can thrown.
- Knobbs brings a table into the ring.
- Knobbs brings Dog inside.
- Garbage can. Again.
- Table is set into the corner.
- Knobbs signals for the Pit Stop and hits it. My dog just licks my armpit when I do that.
- Dog nails Knobbs with a chair.
- Dog whips Knobbs cross-corner and splashes him.
- Dog bites Knobbs. Seriously.
- Dog sets up to send Knobbs through the table, but it gets reversed.
- Knobbs chairs Dog in the back.
- Knobbs brings a trash can with him to the middle rope and dives down with it for three.
- YOUR WINNER: Brian Knobbs via pinfall in 4:07.
- Another uninspired "hardcore" match. What a surprise. But at least the pairings made sense this time.
Nitrogirls.com promo.
Match #10: Buff Bagwell vs. La Parka
- After this match, we'll hear what Ric Flair has to say about Bischoff and Russo.
- Aww yea, it's La Parka.
- La Parka gets the mic and "cuts" a promo.
- The voiceover then continues and threatens Buff (calling him a George Clooney look-a-like).
- Parka pulls out a sign that reads "I'm Sorry" on one side and "I'm Not Really Saying This" on the other. HA!
- That's great.
- Parka tries to reason with Buff and the two shake hands and hug.
- Parka then cheap shots Buff and hammers away.
- Parka misses a dropkick in the corner.
- Buff raises his leg on another charge.
- Parka with a clothesline.
- Parka comes off the ropes and gets back bodydropped.
- Buff with a boot to the midsection and a spinning neckbreaker.
- Buff picks up Parka but gets nailed in the jimmy.
- Parka chokes Buff on the middle rope.
- Buff ducks a clothesline as Parka comes off the ropes.
- Buff with a double-arm DDT.
- Buff comes off the ropes with a sunset flip for two.
- Parka hits an enziguri for two.
- Parka slams Buff and goes up to the middle rope.
- Parka hits his springboard moonsault for two.
- Parka goes up top but missing a twisting moonsault.
- Buff blocks a right and lands his own.
- Parka reverses a whip to the corner but runs into a back elbow.
- Buff goes up to the middle rope and nails the Blockbuster for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Buff Bagwell via Blockbuster in 4:09.
- Not bad. Good comedy before the match, which bumps this to...
Ric Flair tells the people at home to give him ten minutes on Nitro to discuss his thoughts about Russo and Bischoff.
Match #11: Vampiro vs. The Wall
- Vampiro makes his way out first.
- The Wall comes out with a chair.
- Vamp immediately goes to work with punches.
- Vamp lands a spinning heel kick.
- Vamp chairs Wall out of the ring.
- Vamp goes up top and hits a crossbody to the outside.
- Back inside, Vamp whips Wall cross-corner and hits a clothesline.
- Vamp tries it again but runs into a boot.
- Wall with a lariat.
- Wall sets up for a powerbomb but propels Vamp onto the top rope neck-first.
- Wall chokes out Vamp.
- Vamp ducks a punch and gives Wall a backdrop suplex.
- Vamp grabs the chair but gets decked to the mat.
- Wall brings out a table and sets it up ringside.
- Wall climbs onto the apron and gets chaired by Vamp, sending him onto the table.
- The bell rings for the lame DQ.
- YOUR WINNER: The Wall via DQ in 2:46.
- Mickey Jay tends to Wall, who grabs him in a choke.
- Wall hits the ring, and Vamp is shocked!
- Wall and Vamp slug it out and the crack security hit the ring to no avail.
- They duke it out again, with Wall hitting a big boot as we fade.
The Good: I like where they're going with La Parka's "phantom voice" bit. He and Buff had a decent match going, by the way. Despite Vampiro vs. The Wall not being seen as a marketable main event, it's good to see some new faces headline a show, as it shows that WCW has some concern for the future.
The Bad: Very bland show otherwise. Despite 11 matches and no Mean Gene ring interviews, only four matches ended clean and without any interference.
The Ugly: The focus on this show seemed to be more on Russo and Bischoff than what was going on in the ring. Does the average fan really care about who is in control of the promotion creatively? I highly doubt it. Also, how many "new" Nitros do we get to see in a twelve-month period? If there is a message to be said, it's don't just say it, do it.
See you in two weeks!

WCW Thunder - Wednesday, March 29, 2000

By Aldo

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