WCW Saturday Night - Saturday, April 1, 2000

By Dan

We're back again for an April 1^st edition of WCW Saturday Night and unfortunately the return of Vince Russo isn't a joke. Russo has already said that he's changing the best of WCW programming, not saying a lot I know, but I'm at my wits end here. Well, let's see what happens.

Match #1 Jeremy Lopez and Tommy Rogers vs. Los Fabulosos w/o Miss Hancock

No Miss Hancock with the Latin lovers, but oh well.
Silver King grabs the mic and has a really THICK accent, but he just says their new catch phrase of being Latin America's most desirable males.
King and Lopez to start off, side headlock from King to start.
Shoulderblock from King sends Lopez outside.
Rogers comes in, but gets caught by Lopez as he slingshot backs in.
Dandy is in the ring and he catches Lopez with the big right hand.
Rogers and Lopez whip the Latinos into each other.
Dandy goes to whip Rogers into Silver King, but Rogers reverses the whip and King tosses Dandy outside.
Lopez with a slingshot plancha to Silver King on the outside.
In the ring, Tommy Rogers hits a big back elbow.
Irish whip and a powerslam for two from Rogers.
Outside we see Lash LeRoux with a chart that says "Eye for an Eye" at the top and it looks like he's thinking about something.

Lopez in the ring and he hits a dropkick on Silver King.
Irish whip reversed by Silver King, Dandy knees Lopez in the back and Silver King follows with a superkick.
Dandy tags in and they Irish whip Lopez. Silver King tags in and they hit their double leap frog to a double drop toehold to a double soccer kick spot.
Dandy covers and Rogers breaks it up at two.
Silver King working over Lopez in the corner with chops.
Whip to the opposite corner and a charge in enzuiguri from King.
Dandy tags in and he snapmares Lopez so that King can drag him outside.
Lopez tries to break it up and gets a headbutt for his trouble.
Double team hotshot on the guard rail from the Fabulosos.
Back in the ring, Silver King hits a gourdbuster onto the ropes.
Cover for two.
Big DDT from Silver King.
Silver King misses the double springboard moonsault and Lopez makes the tag, but Dandy comes in with the deadly right hands.
Silver King tries to whip Dandy into Lopez, but Lopez moves and actually makes the tag this time.
Rogers comes in a house of fire.
Rogers and Silver King tumble outside and allow Dandy to hit La Majistral on Lopez.
1 . . .2 . . .3.
YOUR WINNER: Los Fabulosos via pinfall.
Not a bad match at all. Really fast paced.

Right after the match, we go straight to the back were Hudson and Zybysko talk about the April 10^th Nitro and the double team of Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff taking over.

Brain Knobbs comes out for an interview and makes me snicker from the start when he says that he was in the back "thinking." Knobbs issues a challenge to whoever is man enough to participate in a hardcore battle royal. The belt will be on a fifteen foot pole and whoever grabs the belt will be the Hardcore Champ.

Before going to commercial, we get an interview with Mona giving her opinion on the return of Bischoff and Russo.

Match #2 Little Jeanie vs. Mona

Tie-up and an armdrag from Mona.
Tie-up and a side headlock from Mona.
Jeanie stomps Mona's foot and whips out.
Monkey flip from Jeanie who takes control with some rights.
Snap suplex from Jeanie and a cover for two.
Jeanie argues with the ref and Mona hits a school boy roll-up for two.
Mona with forearms, but Jeanie comes back with a lariat.
Double legdrop from Jeanie.
Spinning toe hold from Jeanie who goes to work on the thigh.
Jeanie locks in a Boston crab.
Mona rolls through with a victory roll, but Jeanie rolls through.
Snapmare from Jeanie.
Jeanie with a hair toss on Mona.
Choke on the ropes from Jeanie.
Kicks from Jeanie and she locks on a rear chinlock.
Mona elbows out and hits a lariat.
Jeanie comes back with a dropkick.
Jeanie goes to charge Mona on the ropes, but Mona ducks and Jeanie tumbles outside.
Mona slingshots Jeanie back in.
Double wrist salto to a bridge for two from Mona.
Mona with a beatdown in the corner, but Jeanie reverses.
Mona reverses a whip into the opposite corner and hits a handspring back elbow.
Bulldog from Mona and she locks on her deathlock pinning combo.
1 . . .2 . . .3.
YOUR WINNER: Mona via pinfall.
Post match, Asya comes in to make her return and she starts a beatdown on Mona.

Match #3 Kid Romeo vs. Allan Funk

Funk jumps him from behind during the glowstick dance.
Funk is wearing a tutu for some reason.
Whip into the corner and Romeo counters with a headscissors takeover that sends Funk outside.
Romeo with a big plancha.
Romeo with some vicious chops.
Funk reverses a whip into the guardrail and retakes control.
Funk rolls Romeo back inside.
Irish whip from Funk and Romeo hits a body scissors to a bulldog.
Romeo covers for two.
Funk reverses a whip and Romeo goes for the body scissors again, but this time Funk hits a reverse spinebuster.
Cover for two from Funk.
Barry Horowitz is down at ringside.
Funk flips Romeo over his shoulder and covers for two.
Funk hits his inverted powerbomb, but Horowitz distracts Funk who doesn't make the cover.
Sunset flip from Romeo for two.
Funk with a whip, but he ducks the head.
Romeo hits a sort of lift up pedigree on Funk. It looked NICE.
Romeo gets a boot caught, but he counters with a back brain kick.
Romeo hits the Romeo Relaxer, but Funk kicks out at 2???
Funk off the ropes, but Horowitz pulls him outside.
Okay this is awkward. I don't think they worked this part out quite right anyway . . .
Horowitz and Romeo roll Funk back inside.
Romeo covers.
1 . . .2 . . .3.
YOUR WINNER: Kid Romeo via pinfall.
Romeo seemed to be playing the heel this match. But he tries to be a face, too. Somebody pick something for him or he's going to be on Saturday Night forever and he's too talented for that.

After the match they ask Too Xcess what they think about Bischoff and Russo returning.

Match #4 Frankie Lancaster vs. Lash LeRoux

Yes! Lash!
Lash tosses his beads out into the crowd.
Tie-up and a side headlock from Lash.
Lancaster whips out and gets shoulderblocked down.
Lash gets hip tossed, but lands on his feet.
Lancaster catches him with a snapmare though.
Lash dodges an elbow drop and both men size each other up.
Wristlock from Lancaster is reversed by Lash.
Both men size up again.
Rights from Lancaster, but Lash retakes control by sending Lancaster into the turnbuckle.
Lancaster reverses a whip into the other corner, Lash tries to float over, but Lancaster catches him and hot shots him.
Neckbreaker from Lancaster.
Irish whip and a big back body drop from Lancaster.
Lash tries to fight back, but Lancaster goes to the eyes.
Whip to the corner reversed by Lash, but Lancaster pops out with a back elbow.
Cover for two.
Rear chinlock from Lancaster.
Lash fights out with a jawbreaker and misses an elbow drop attempt.
Lancaster locks the rear chinlock back on.
Scoop slam from Lancaster who comes off the second rope into Lash's knees.
Bourbon Street Blues from Lash who picks Lancaster up and whips him.
Back body drop and Lash heads up top with a diving shoulderlock.
Irish whip and Lash hits the old Whiplash.
Lancaster kicks out at two.
Lancaster goes for a scoop slam, but Lash floats over and hits the Whiplash 2000.
1 . . .2 . . .3.
YOUR WINNER: Lash LeRoux via pinfall following the Whiplash 2000.
Good match.

Match #5 Steve Armstrong vs. Hugh Morrus

Tie-up and Morrus powers Armstrong into the corner and starts working him over with chops.
Whip to the opposite corner, float over from Armstrong, and an armdrag takeover.
Another armdrag takeover and a cover for two.
Armstrong working over Morrus with some rights.
Morrus reverses a whip to the opposite corner.
Armstrong tries to come out with a body splash and Morrus catches him.
Slam from Morrus who comes off the ropes with an elbow drop.
Morrus with another elbow drop.
It looks like it's going to be one more, but Morrus hits a diving headbutt instead.
Cover for two.
Irish whip from Morrus, Armstrong ducks a clothesline and hits a flying forearm.
Cover for two.
Morrus comes back with a boot to take control.
Sunset flip attempt from Armstrong, but Morrus isn't going.
Armstrong manages to hook the arms, but Morrus is in the ropes.
Armstrong up and working over Morrus in the corner.
Whip to the opposite corner and Morrus reverses it and follows up with an avalanche body attack.
Another body attack.
And one more.
Morrus goes up and hits the No Laughing Matter.
Morrus pulls Armstrong on top of himself and then kicks out only to make the cover himself (The Last Laugh).
1 . . .2 . . .3.
YOUR WINNER: Hugh Morrus via pinfall following the No Laughing Matter.
Morrus will hopefully be in line for a push under the new regime. He's a hell of a big man athlete.

Match #6 3-Count w/o Green dots vs. Shark Boy, Frank Paris, and Elix Skipper

3-Count does their spiel at the beginning of the match, but I'm willing to forgive them for the sake of talent.
Shark Boy and Karagias to start.
Wristlock from Shark Boy and a drop toe hold to escape from Karagias who starts to dance.
Shark Boy bites him in the arse for that one.
All six men come into the ring.
Moore and Karagias get sent outside and Paris and Skipper following with slingshot planchas.
Back in the ring Shane Helms w/Lone Ranger mask eats headscissors takeover from Shark Boy.
Shark Boy with punches in the corner and a bite to the head.
Shane comes back with a Rydeen Bomb.
Shannon Moore tags in and misses a corkscrew senton.
Elix Skipper comes in with a nice spinning heel kick.
Skipper locks on a wristlock and hits his modified rocker dropper.
Skipper with a little song and dance to a legdrop combo.
Cover for two.
Wristlock to a side headlock from Skipper.
Moore whips out and Skipper gets hit from behind.
Moore with a gourdbuster and a tag to Karagias.
Irish whip and a powerslam from Karagias.
Skipper comes back with some forearm blows.
Karagias comes back with some forearms of his own.
Belly to belly suplex from Skipper.
Paris tags in and he takes on all of 3-Count.
All six men are in the ring, but Shark Boy and Skipper get sent outside.
3 on 1 and 3-Count hits a nice triple team inverted split legged powerbomb on Paris.
1 . . .2 . . .3.
YOUR WINNER: 3-Count via pinfall following a inverted split legged powerbomb.
My only complaint is that it didn't go longer, good match.

We come back to the return of DDP and the response from Double J.

Match #7 Chris Harris vs. Chuck Palumbo

I guess I just let my hopes get a little too high for this show, but they were doing well . . .
Long story short: In this battle of perm versus greasy Bret Hart hair. Palumbo pretty much takes control at the beginning until Harris takes control for most of the match. Palumbo then hits the Jungle Kick and follows with a diving shoulderblock for the pin.
YOUR WINNER: Chuck Palumbo via pinfall following a diving shoulderblock.
Post match, they interview Hugh Morrus about the return of the Dynamic Duo.

Match #8 Cassidy Riley vs. Hail w/ Jimmy Hart

To increase the "lame factor" they have a hail warning sign trail across the bottom of the screen.
Watching a big bald guy crush jobbers was interesting two years ago, but now it's just hackneyed.
Hail no-sells some chops from Riley who then eats avalanche body attack.
Hail with a big gorilla press slam.
Stuff piledriver. Splat. Win.
YOUR WINNER: Hail via pinfall following the stuff piledriver.
If I was Goldberg, I would NOT be happy with Hail.
Riley does the stretcher job.
They interview Chuck Palumbo about Bischoff's return.

Match #9 Kory Williams and Ashley Hudson vs. The Mamalukes

Big Vito points out to the ring announcer that they are no longer the Mamalukes, but that they are the Paisans.
Vito and Ashley to start off and Vito just works him over.
Huge lariat from Vito.
Uppercuts from Vito.
Tag to Johnny the Bull and they hit a double sledge.
Big right from Johnny the Bull and he starts to work Hudson over in the corner.
Whip to the opposite corner reversed by Hudson, but Johnny moves for the charge.
Gigantic reverse heel kick from Johnny.
Vito tags in and comes in with a DDT on Hudson.
Flying back elbow from Vito.
Chops in the corner from Vito.
Tag to Johnny who comes in with a double whip and they hit their double team slam.
Johnny catches Kory as he tries to come in.
Huge gorilla press slam from Johnny.
Tag to Vito who comes in with a huge right hand.
Hugson tries to come back with a sunset flip for two.
Vito comes back with a huge lariat.
Whip to the corner and Hudson manages to move for the corner charge.
Hot tag to Kory Williams.
Williams with a big back body drop and a dropkick for Johnny.
Another for Vito.
Johnny catches Kory and they hit their double team Spinebuster and standing sidekick combo.
Johnny covers for two.
Vito tags in with the swinging DDT.
1 . . .2 . . .3.
YOUR WINNER: The Mama .. . Paisans via pinfall following a swinging DDT.
I like the Paisans. They have a nice mix of brawling with some actual wrestling ability.

Match #10 Brian Knobbs, Adrian Byrd, Dave Burkhead, Rick Fuller, Screamin Norman Smiley, The Dog in a Hardcore Battle Royal for the Title

Not that I'm against battle royals, but they are hard to play by play so this is going to not be a long story short rating, but I'm going to call it like a long story short.
Everyone is working over Knobbs at the start, but then move on to fighting each other. Mostly garbage wrestling with weapons. Knobbs works everyone over with a trashcan lid and heads for the Title on the pole, but Smiley stops him with the kendo stick.Knobbs gets whipped into a ladder at one point. Knobbs cleans house with the ladder. Smiley is using the trashcan lid like a madman. Smiley hits the Big Wiggle on Knobbs' posterior. I still don't think there has been a real move in this match. Knobbs hits the cymbal crash with the trashcan lids on Smiley and grabs the belt for the win.
YOUR WINNER: Brian Knobbs
Okay Hardcore match. Hard to follow and not really any spots to remember.

Not a terrible show. Really only one match that I didn't care about and there were some really quality matches in there too. Well see you kids next week.

WCW Saturday Night - Saturday, April 1, 2000

By Dan

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