WCW Thunder - Wednesday, April 12, 2000

• Matt P. talks about WCW's influence at the Oscars:

  Wasn't sure if you caught the Oscars and I WISH I had a picture but if you happen to see a pic, put it here!

  Angelina Jolie and her date came out to the Oscars to be interviewed on the red carpet. I looked at the screen then went back to my chips and salsa...THEN I DID A DOUBLE-TAKE. Jolie dyed her hair BLACK and did her face up like queen-of-the-dead-Tim-Burton style. Her date had dyed PLATINUM HAIR.

  I swear, I almost dropped my food and yelled, WHAT THE F*** ARE DAFFNEY AND DAVID FLAIR DOING AT THE OSCARS?!?!

  You may not believe me because I hardly believe it either, but if you find a picture or capture, it'll confirm it! Trust me! Find someone with a tape of the Oscars and screen-cap it! It's UNCANNY.

• Stephen G. asks:

  Is it just me or did the La Parka thing on Thunder with the sign saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I'm not really saying this' remind of Wile E. Coyote when he's about to fall of a cliff or something?

• Finally, Adam H. speaks out about the new Nitro:

  I'll go ahead and put down a $50 wager that Tony calls the first Bischoff/Russo Nitro the "greatest ever."

Allow me to look at Nitro step-by-step:

The Opening Segment: I think this dragged too long, but it got the point across -- the old guys are no longer in charge. The appearances of Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo were necessary to explain to the fans the whats and the whys of recent WCW happenings. The only real drawback I saw was putting everyone in WCW on two different sides (or teams, if you will, if you want to look at it in a Team Challenge Series sort-of-way). What's going to happen when this angle comes to a close? Also, many fans still do not understand the "scissor" and "softball" references that are made towards Sid Vicious, and such "smart" commentary only serves to confuse.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Total Package: Crap match, but I thought it was cute how they cut off the entrances to the two "Millionaires," yet they allow Buff Bagwell's entrance to go in its entirety. A Buff beatdown to enforce the notion that the "old guys" have to stick together would have been nice, though.

Tank Abbott Promo: I've seen Giant Gonzalez cut better promos. Plus, calling out Goldberg and not delivering makes Goldberg look like a wimp. The Mark Madden beatdown was a nice touch, though.

Billy Kidman Calling Out Hulk Hogan: Good job here, actually. Kidman is allowed a short advantage until Hogan's size comes into play and he beats the hell out of Kidman. As much as it pains me to say it, don't expect Kidman to win a fair fight against someone nine inches taller and seventy pounds heavier than him, especially when Kidman has not been given the proper build-up. However, I think Vampiro chairing a meeting to Hogan's noggin would have been better than seeing Bischoff do it. It would certainly fit in with Vamp's attack on Sting at the end of the show. Plus, with the McMahons parading themselves on RAW every week, I think the average fan is getting tired of all these authority figures grabbing significant airtime.

Ric Flair Promo: A Shane Douglas beatdown is natural, but you don't want to put your eggs in one basket.

The Rest of the Show: Since I worked late Monday night, I only got to see one hour of Nitro, and had to rely on Jarod's Nitro Report for the rest of the results. I did see the Jeff Jarrett/Curt Hennig match, though, and I will say that Shawn Stasiak is still not ready for prime time. Also, if Douglas was going to run-in on Flair anyway, was Russo's presence necessary?

The only really disturbing thing is that the crowd responses on Monday necessitate the Millionaire's Club as babyfaces and the New Blood as heels. Although the announcers tried their best to do it the other way around, the crowd reactions and bookings of the New Blood make it look like they are the villians, despite being held back by the older guys. This also means that the Millionaire's Club has to win the blow-off. While the older guys have to get wins sometime, it really should be the younger guys going over in the end to help build for the future.

Overall, I think WCW got their foot in the door with this edition of Nitro, but the real test will be if the promotion can follow up with solid outings the next few weeks. The overreliance on shock booking worries me, however. It is possible to spread out the appearances of Shane Douglas, Shawn Stasiak and Mike Awesome on other Nitros. After a while, WCW is going to run out of surprise appearances and will have to rely on actual wrestling to get their workers over. On a final note, less run-ins and more clean finishes would be appreciated.

• Bischoff proclaims his love for the audience.
• Bischoff: "Oh, was it a night last night or what?" Geez, you're a head booker and you can't even remember Thunder is on WEDNESDAY?
• Bischoff uses some smart jargon then turns it over to Kidman.
• Kidman says that he's ended Hogan's career and says it's Flea Market Champions 3, Hogan 0.
• Kidman does some heel mic work, mainly "Shut up" and mocks the notion of wrestling matches.
• Russo says this crowd reminds him of New York but that this town sucks.
• Russo runs down Colorado Springs and the late John Denver.
• Russo says that he is the bat man and that New York has respect for no one.
• Russo calls Ric Flair his New York bitch.
• Shane Douglas says he's called Flair's ass out for seven years and that Flair took the bait.
• Douglas plans to retire Flair.
• Bischoff reiterates all new champions on Sunday.
• Bischoff is giving Jeff Jarrett the night off in preparation of his title match at Spring Stampede.
• Bischoff wants to give Diamond Dallas Page the night off, but wants Kimberly to wrestle Madusa.
• Bischoff reminds us of Kimberly's Playboy shoot.
• For once, the production crew isn't muting the "asshole" chants.
• "Self High Five" brings out DDP.
• DDP says that if Bischoff has a problem with him, he doesn't have a problem with it.
• DDP tells Bischoff to leave his wife out of it.
• DDP wants to give these people what they'd really like to see -- Bischoff in the ring vs. DDP.
• Bischoff tells DDP he hasn't earned that spot and that he wants to see what stripper outfit Kim will wear tonight.
• DDP says he's going to the ring to kick Bischoff's teeth down his throat.
• Bam Bam Bigelow jumps DDP from behind and sends him into the ring, where a mudhole stomp erupts.
• The Millionaire's Club then hits the ring and it's a huge schmozz.
• Bischoff and Russo retreat to the outside as crack security tries to break up the melee.

• The Cruiserweight Title Match will be decided in a Suicide Six match.
• The Tag Team Champions will be crowned in a four-team tournament.
• Ric Flair faces Buff Bagwell tonight, and The Total Package goes against Shane Douglas.
• Sting and Sid Vicious will wrestle qualifying matches for the U. S. Title Tournament.

• Candido gets the first televised entrance.
• Juvi comes out next.
• Candido and Juvi have words outside the ring.
• The Artist gets the final entrance.
• Lash and Crowbar beat on Artist to start.
• Artist gets whipped into a body drop.
• Moore with a missile dropkick.
• Candido and LeRoux lock up as a beach ball hits the ring.
• After a series of runs off the ropes, Candido nails LeRoux with a powerbomb.
• David Flair macs on Paisley until Daffney drags him away by the balls and slaps him. Cute.
  
• Juvi and Moore are in the ring now.
• Juvi with ten punches in the corner.
• Juvi whips Moore, but he reverses into a kick into the gut and a Fame-asser.
• Tag to Crowbar.
• Crowbar drops on the mat a couple times before Juvi fires away with chops.
• Juvi flips out of a backdrop.
• Crowbar hits a Northern Lights suplex for two.
• Crowbar chops away at the ropes.
• Crowbar whips Juvi, who headscissors Crowbar out of the ring.
• David Flair helps Crowbar up... and Crowbar decks his partner!
• Candido nails Crowbar with a plancha from the top ringpost.
• Candido and Artist fight outside until Crowbar interrupts with a somersault dive.
• LeRoux then follows with a dive of his own.
• Juvi and Moore fight in the ring until Moore ends up on the apron.
• Juvi goes off the ropes and tries a crossbody, but nails the guys on the outside when Moore ducks.
• Moore hits a moonsault on everyone!
• Back in, Moore nails Crowbar with a reverse DDT.
• Shane Helms goes up top but Daffney nails him with a frankensteiner! Oh, my God!
  
• Juvi and Crowbar duke it out, but Juvi hits the Juvidriver for one when Candido saves.
• Candido tosses Juvi out of the ring.
• Crowbar hits a jawbreaker on Candido but The Artist breaks it up.
• Double DDT by Crowbar.
• As Charles Robinson yaks with Artist, Candido hits a diving headbutt from the top.
• Artist hits his jumping DDT on Candido.
• Crowbar applies a gourdbuster on Candido for the win! Whew!
• YOUR WINNERS: Shannon Moore, Crowbar and Lash LeRoux via gourdbuster in 6:30.
• Spotty, but still an awesome match. See, you can have your sports entertainment AND wrestling at the same time!
• Of course, immediately after that, we have to head to an interview.
        

• Apparently, Stasiak calls himself "The Perfect One."

• So much for that Sid heel turn.
• Sid must win this handicap match to go on to the U. S. Title tournament.
• Sid tears apart Big T and Stevie Ray to start.
• Cash comes in, misses a clothesline and eats a big boot.
• Sid grabs J. Biggs and brings him to the ring.
• Sid then gets massacred by Harlem Heat.
• Sid eats a double clothesline, then a double front kick.
• Meanwhile, Cash just stands there. Wow, he's earning his paycheck.
• Big T and Stevie give Sid a double spinebuster.
• Cash hits a splash for two.
• Biggs has words for Nick Patrick.
• As Big T and Stevie rough up Sid, Booker runs in and cleans house of the Heat.
• Booker lands the 110^th Street Slam on Big T, followed by a urinage on Stevie.
• Sid powerbombs Stevie for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Sid Vicious via powerbomb in 2:42.
• Post-match, The Wall chairs a meeting with Sid.
• Bischoff and Russo talk about Booker's run-in.
• Bischoff hits the ring and makes an executive decision.
• Due to outside interference, Sid is disqualified and Harlem Heat wins.
• So I guess this means...
• YOUR WINNERS: Harlem Heat via screwjob.
• Bischoff says that Sid can go back to West Memphis.
• Well I was gonna give this one-half Spice, but the Dusty Finish brings this down to...
  

• Shane, please put a shirt on.
• From Nitro: Douglas blindsides Ric Flair.
• TP makes his way out.
• The announcers play up the Flair/Douglas feud.
• TP goes to pose and then hammers Douglas in the corner.
• TP rakes Douglas' face on the top rope.
• TP whips Douglas into the corner and clotheslines him.
• DDP faces Bigelow later tonight.
• TP with a series of running clotheslines and the forearm to the head for two.
• TP whips Douglas to the corner but eats a boot.
• Douglas lands a running clothesline.
• It's laughable to hear about the New Blood when Douglas is approaching 40.
• Douglas goes up top but comes down the hard way.
• They go outside and TP whips Douglas into the rail.
• Another clothesline.
• TP sends Douglas into the ring.
• Douglas begs off, to no avail.
• TP whips Douglas but gets kicked and clotheslined.
• Douglas tries a forearm but hits the Billy Silverman.
• TP comes from behind but gets mule kicked.
• Ric Flair runs in and chops Douglas in the corner.
• Flair whips Douglas into the corner and nails the Great Equalizer.
• TP puts Douglas in the Torture Rack as Liz wakes Silverman up.
• Douglas submits.
• YOUR WINNER: The Total Package via Torture Rack in 3:44.
  

• And the fans go mild...
• Hart calls out Bischoff for some answers.
• Hart talks about how he made the negotiations for Hogan's WCW arrival.
• Bischoff (sigh) and Kidman make their way out.
• Kidman rushes the ring as Bischoff stays put.
• Kidman works over Hart and pulls his shirt up.
• Kidman sprays "NB" on Hart's back.

• We were doing fine up to this point, but these non-wrestling related skits kill the flow.

• This is a Colorado Collision match, aka a Royal Rumble with one-minute intervals.
• Booker and Wall (w/table) enter first.
• Booker wails away on Wall to start.
• Wall fires back with punches and stomps.
• Wall whips Booker into the corner but runs into a boot.
• Harlem Sidekick follows.
• Booker ducks a clothesline and hits a urinage.
• Booker with the axe kick and breakdance.
• With 5 seconds to go, Booker clotheslines Wall out of the ring and out of the match.
• Cat comes in and side kicks Booker out of the ring. Two down.
• Wall chokeslams Booker on the table.
• Cat does his spiel on the mic to cover for the "dead air."
• Cat then dances to his music as Scott Steiner walks out.
• Cat continues to dance but gets clotheslined from behind.
• Steiner takes off the RUBY RED SLIPPERS OF DOOM and chops him in the corner.
• Steiner whips Cat to the ropes but Cat comes back with a side kick.
• The next entrance occurs at ~3:40. So much for one-minute intervals.
• Kidman walks slowly to the ring as Steiner wails on Cat.
• As Steiner poses on the top turnbuckle, Kidman runs in and pins Cat. Three down.
• Steiner press slams Kidman.
• Steiner finishes off Kidman with a belly-to-belly suplex.
• Vampiro makes his way out at ~4:50.
• As Vamp enters the ring, Sting sneaks up from behind and hits the Scorpion Deathdrop.
• Steiner then puts Vamp in the Steiner Recliner for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Scott Steiner via Steiner Recliner in 5:32.
• Weak match. The wrestling ended once The Cat came in. Plus, aren't all these guys supposed to be aligned with each other?
  

• Oh, this is going to be painful.
• But, Kim looks quite attractive here.
  
• Charles Robinson is the "third man in the ring."
• Madusa tells Kim to hit the bricks and gets shoved.
• Madusa shoves Kim into the corner.
• DDP watches from backstage.
• Here comes the hair-pulling and face-mashing.
• DDP runs in and pulls Madusa off.
• Madusa with some kicks on DDP.
• DDP applies a front chancery and hits a Diamond Cutter! Yes!
  
• YOUR WINNER: Madusa via DQ in 1:25.
• Kim walks away disgusted, and DDP follows behind.
• Suck match, but I'll give this...
  
• ... because seeing Madusa on the receiving end of a Diamond Cutter was worth something.

• The winning team of this hardcore match will face off at Spring Stampede for the hardcore belt.
• Funk and Smiley get entrances, everyone else doesn't.
• Finlay and Morrus brawl as Funk and Smiley enter the ring.
• Meng and Knobbs take it to the stands.
• Smiley covers Finlay (with Funk helping out) for two.
• Morrus beats on Smiley outside. Smiley screams, of course.
• Meng and Knobbs battle up the stairs.
• Morrus sets up a table near the TurnerTron.
• Funk and Finlay go at it in the ring.
• Morrus sets up Smiley on the table.
• Morrus goes on the top of the entryway, charges at Smiley but misses the elbowdrop, breaking the table.
• Knobbs and Meng are now in the concessions area.
• Knobbs takes a swig of Budweiser then throws the cup at Meng.
• Meng throws Knobbs into a table and kicks away.
• Meng points at a Goldberg cut-out and spears it! Ha!
  
• Knobbs tries a fire extinguisher but sprays the cut-out.
• Meng and Knobbs head outside.
• Knobbs charges at Meng but misses and falls off the balcony. Sigh. This was done "better" at Halloween Havoc '95.
• Meanwhile, Smiley sends Morrus into some plunder but gets slammed into a trashcan.
• Morrus and Smiley battle next to a big Tiger prop.
• Smiley accidentally gores himself in the nuts on one of the "teeth."
• Back in the ring, Finlay drops Funk on the concrete and pulls out a table.
• Said table gets set up in the corner and Finlay gets whipped into it.
• Funk piledrives Finlay on the broken table.
• As Funk sandwiches the table on Finlay, Dustin Rhodes runs in and hits the Shattered Dreams.
• Rhodes chairs Funk and rams his head into the chair.
• Smiley hits the ring, looks around and covers Funk for the win!
• YOUR WINNERS: Terry Funk and Norman Smiley via pinfall in 7:19.
• Since Smiley got the pin, he and Funk go on to Spring Stampede.
• Post-match, Smiley runs to the back. This was much better than I expected.
      

• Tenay talks about Arquette hitting Jarrett with a guitar at the Ready to Rumble movie premiere.
• Tenay also says that Arquette got the biggest pop at the premiere. You don't want to admit that, Tenay.
• Flair is in street clothes, by the way.
• Buff poses for the fans.
• Flair then does the Fargo Strut.
• Lock-up, Flair blocks a punch in the corner and lands a chop.
• Flair gets whipped to the corner and back bodydropped.
• Buff with a pair of running clotheslines.
• Buff hammers away on Flair.
• We see a blurred out sign in the audience.
• Punches in the corner by Buff.
• Buff rams Flair into the turnbuckle.
• Flair mounts a brief offensive before Buff takes over.
• Buff stalls some more.
• Flair hits the Great Equalizer.
• Flair drops an elbow.
• Flair with some punches in the corner.
• Flair brings Buff outside and rams him into the rail.
• Someone in a Sting mask hits Flair with the bat.
• As the masked man is revealed to be Vince Russo, the bell rings for the DQ.
• YOUR WINNER: Ric Flair via DQ in 3:10.
• Douglas runs in and chokes out Flair as Russo swings away.
• TP runs in and wails away on Douglas.
• Buff nails TP from behind with the bat.
• Russo chokes Flair with the bat and gives him crotch chops.
• Douglas punishes Flair some more.
• The beatdown was acceptable, but didn't Russo stay he'd stay off camera when he first came to WCW?
  

• Schiavone offers condolences to Scott Hudson due to a death in his family.
• If you've been watching since the hardcore match, you know what's going to happen.
• A couple things about the Villanos:
  • Villano III was unmasked by Atlantis in Mexico.
  • One of the Villanos has a much lighter skin tone than the other two, which would tell you something even if WCW didn't show this match out of order.
• The Villanos beat up Sting.
• Sting powers up and gets a brief comeback.
• Sting clotheslines two Villanos.
• Sting hits the Scorpion Deathlock on two of the Villanos and pins him, leaving one left.
• Villano hits Sting from behind, who collides with the ref.
• Sting hits an atomic drop and a pair of clotheslines.
• Villano nails Sting down low and reaches under the ring for a guitar.
• Sting gets the El-Kabong and the Villano reveals himself as Jeff Jarrett, to the surprise of no one watching at home.
• DDP rushes the ring and nails Jarrett with the Diamond Cutter.
• Sting covers and gets three.
• YOUR WINNER: Sting via pinfall in 3:16.
• During this match, we saw the Sting imposter that interfered in the Flair match, which is another indication that this segment was taped earlier in the night. Just bad.
• Because of said horrid production, I have to go negative on this.
  

• Bigelow comes out first.
• Kimberly enters and DDP follows.
• DDP unloads on Bigelow in the corner to start.
• Bigelow blocks a kick, spins DDP around and eats a discus lariat.
• DDP goes up top and nails a flying clothesline for two.
• DDP whips Bigelow, who reverses into a Samoan Drop for two.
• Bigelow drops a pair of headbutts on DDP's back.
• Bigelow with a chinlock.
• Bigelow splashes on DDP's back.
• Bigelow goes up top and nails the diving headbutt on the back for two.
• Bigelow sets up for a powerbomb, but DDP lands on him for two.
• DDP with a swinging neckbreaker for two.
• DDP tries a Diamond Cutter but gets shoved into the referee.
• Bigelow with a belly-to-belly suplex.
• Bigelow goes up top but misses the headbutt this time.
• Bigelow blocks the Cutter, pushes him to the ropes and tries the Greetings.
• DDP blocks the Greetings and hits the Cutter.
• Eric Bischoff runs in, counts two, and stops.
• DDP gets up and shoves Bischoff into the corner.
• Jeff Jarrett runs in and nails DDP with a guitar.
• David Arquette jumps in the ring and attacks Bischoff.
• Jarrett throws Arquette out of the ring. Serves the pissant right.
• Jarrett slams Arquette on the rail and brings him inside.
• Jarrett applies The Stroke.
• Kanyon comes in and beats down Jarrett.
• Kanyon with a neckbreaker.
• Bischoff returns to the ring with a chair and hammers Kanyon with it.
• Some of the New Blood hit the ring for some spraypainting and Arquette beating.
• Wall chokeslams Kanyon as we fade at 6:16...
• It's been said before, and I'll say it again. Every time a celebrity jumps the rail, it only entices some of the idiot fans out there to do the same. After all, if David Arquette can get away with it, why can't they, right?
• No rating due to the mismashed ending.