WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, April 17th, 2000

• Wow, I've never had so many people calling for my head after I said Nitro last week wasn't worth the hype. Well, I stand by what I said.

I received quite a few e-mails telling me how great Nitro was and how wrong I am. You thought Nitro was great? That's your opinion, I never said you were wrong. A lot of people complained that I nitpicked at every "small" detail. Sorry folks, when WCW takes two weeks off and promises to change everything, I expected an improvement in production, as well as continuity and match quality.

Bottom line? If you don't like my reports, don't read them. Feel free to read Aldo's Thunder report, Dan's Saturday Night report, Cubs Fan's Worldwide report or whomever happens to cover the PPV. But don't chew me out for having an opinion that happens to conflict with yours, because I don't care to hear it. When I start twisting facts in a report, you can piss and moan on that until the cows come home.

• Mailbag:
• Brian with a correction:

Just a comment about your Nitro report. You took Steiner to task for saying that all but one of the WWF's champions came from WCW, but I didn't take that mean their current title holders. I think he was referring to their Main Eventers. By a quick count, discounting Vince McMahon's joke title reign, only one WWF world title holder did not pass through WCW since Kane's one day hold back in June, 1998. Of their current main event wrestlers, only The Rock has never been in WCW, so I presume that's what Steiner meant. Actually, you have to go all the way back to one month after Bret's screw job to find a WWF PPV where no WCW alums were fighting for the World Title. Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Shamrock. Only 1999's Unforgiven came close, when both The Rock and Kane were involved in a Title match. Of course, so were 3 guys who passed through WCW's roster prior to the match. So, Steiner actually does know from where he speaks. Either that, or he missed DX's win getting reversed. Before that happened, it actually was just Crash among the current champs.

I hadn't looked at it that way, my mistake. A few people brought up a fourth current WWF "Champion" who has never been to WCW, Stephanie McMahon. I don't think anybody considers the Woman's Title as anything but a joke. Nothing against female wrestlers, mind you, but when a belt gets decided in pudding, who considers that a serious belt?
• SlasherXZX comments on WCW:

Just a thought about the past Thunder/Nitro. Doesn't it kind of seem like the "nWo" invasion all over again minus the suspense? You have the infamous spray painting, Bischoff being an asshole, and the wrestling still sucks... I guess things never change in "the WCW".

• Drew writes:

Saw an interesting thing while making a trip to the drug store to pick up some cough syrup the other day. As I walked in, I happened to glance at a rack of kid's coloring books. I saw a WCW one and just took a look at it. Nothing weird, except for the cover. Now who do you think WCW would put on the cover of a coloring book for kids? Someone appropriate for children, right? Well then there's one person that comes to mind when you talk about that. Why of course...

None other that the Big Bad Booty Daddy Scotty Steiner was on the cover.

• Jim's realization:

I put down the bag of chips rather quickly when I saw Tank Abbott pulling off Mark Madden's shirt. I don't know if it was the pure disgust of seeing something fatter than Tony Norris in the ring. However, I suddenly felt the urge to do ab crunches.

Which brings me to something I did like about last week's Nitro, no Mark Madden for the last half or so.

• WCW Logo.

• And we get stills from last night's PPV.

• We get shots of security at all the entrances.

• Opening montage..

• ..We're live from Rockford, Illinois

• Confetti falls from the ceiling as Russo and the nWo New Blood come out and head to the ring.
• And we get a hell of a lot of balloons as well.
• Hmmm... Shane Douglas is a champion.. Let me get this straight, if I demanded a release from my place of employment, then said I didn't want it when it was granted, then threatened to take legal action when I couldn't get my job back, I could get promoted?
• Nevermind, this is the same company that still has Scott Hall on the payroll.
• Russo insults the crowd, commenting on how much gold the New Blood has.
• He says only one belt got away yesterday, the Hardcore Title.
• He says Funk isn't a millionaire, he isn't New Blood, he's just too damn old.
• And speaking of old..
• Russo goes on a Jim Ross rant.
• He says Ross did everything he could to hold Jarrett down.
• Russo then introduces Jarrett.
• Jarrett says he proved everybody wrong.
• He then goes on a rant about JR as well.
• He says being as how the New Blood is all about opportunity, he's going to give DDP an opportunity at Slamboree.
• He says he was pissed they didn't ask him to be in Ready to Rumble.
• Mainly due to you being employed up North at the time, if I'm not mistaken.
• Jarrett mentions the triple cage used in Ready to Rumble.
• He says if DDP wants the belt, all he'll have to do is climb to the top to get it.
• Speaking of prizes, Russo wants to bring out someone who grabbed the biggest prize of them all last night.
• And Bischoff comes out with Kimberly.
• And we've got a bunch of riot guards at ringside.
• Bischoff says he already told DDP he made him, he can break him.
• He says he going to do something Kim said DDP could never do: make it last a long time.
• Kim takes the mic, saying last night was all about DDP's selfishness in a whole lot of words.
• From now on, it's all about Kimberly, not DDP.
• While Bischoff takes the mic and rips on Hogan, DDP arrives backstage.
• He beats up some security guards, then heads straight to the ring.
• The riot guards part for DDP to get through.
• DDP gets in the ring and gets jumped by the New Blood.
• The riot squad starts clubbing members of the New Blood, and the riot squad unmasks to reveal Ric Flair, Lex Luger and Sting.
• The New Blood retreats while the Millionaire's Club taunts them in the ring.
• Nice opening, story is fine. Good match tonight, please?

• Replay of what just went down.

• Backstage, Bischoff and Russo yell at Chavo Guerrero Jr, Booker, Hugh Morrus, Jerry Flynn, Bam Bam Bigelow and Lash LeRoux for not being out there in the opening.
• Booker complains about what's happening.
• Bischoff says Booker has a short time to get on his good side.
• Bischoff tells them to get out of his sight, then tells Russo to go get Mike Awesome to go kick DDP's ass tonight.
• The security guards that DDP attacked earlier complain about what happened and then quit.
• Bischoff then answers the phone.
• Hogan says he's going to be kicking Bischoff's ass in about five minutes.

• The announcers run over what's happened so far.

• Match 1: Shawn "The (Not so) Perfect One" Stasiak Vs. Curt Hennig
• I think Steve Blackman got a better pop than Stasiak.
• Before the Headcheese gimmick.
• Miss Hancock makes her way to ringside.
• Lockup and Stasiak throws Hennig back into the corner.
• They lockup again, Hennig with an arm drag.
• They lockup for a third time, this time Hennig with a hip toss.
• Stasiak throws Hennig into the corner, followed by a hip toss and a body slam.
• Hennig rolls outside.
• Hennig pulls Stasiak outside, followed by some chops.
• They fight over to the announcers table, where Hennig grabs a bottle of water.
• Hennig throws some water on Madden, then hits Stasiak with the bottle.
• Stasiak rolls back inside.
• Stasiak kicks Hennig when he gets back in the ring, then whips him into the ropes.
• Hennig flips away, but Stasiak catches him with a clothesline.
• Stasiak suplexes Hennig
• Hennig kicks Stasiak in the gut, then connects with a running knee lift.
• Hennig clotheslines Stasiak, hitting the ref at the same time.
• Hennig whips Stasiak into the ropes.
• Stasiak reverses, then puts his head down. Hennig grabs Stasiak and hooks a Hennig-Plex.
• But the ref is out.
• Hennig checks the ref while Stasiak grabs something out of his knee pad.
• Hennig turns around and Stasiak hits him with it.
• Stasiak hides the evidence, then wakes up the ref.
• Stasiak picks up Hennig and plants him with the "Perfect Plant".
• Cover and Stasiak gets the 3 count.
• Your Winner: Shawn Stasiak via pinfall
• Stasiak stomps on Hennig as we go outside.

 
• A black car arrives.
• Hogan tries to enter the building, but police won't let him.
• Hogan says one way or the other, he's going in.
• He stares at a cop, who then says to let him in.
• And they do.
• Stupid.
• Hogan heads to the ring, where Stasiak continues to beat down Hennig.
• Stasiak takes a swing at Hogan, who blocks and punches him down.
• Hogan throws Stasiak out of the ring and we go to commercial.
• Hogan says he's had a lot of time to listen to the fans and critics over the last year.



• He says Hogan is getting older, but so is every other wrestler.
• He says Hogan has only lost half a step.
• He says he still has something to offer the business.
• He says if anyone in the back wants to come out and take his spot, come on out.
• He says he has more heart than anyone in the back.
• He's here until someone else kicks his ass and takes his spot.
• He says Kidman makes him sick, so he's going to kick his ass.
• Last week, Kidman called him out, now it's his turn.
• Kidman appears on the Nitrovision (TurnerTron) and says he doesn't come running.
• If Hogan wants him, he's waiting for him.
• Hogan runs off to find Kidman.
• Kidman is in the parking ramp, waiting with Bischoff and the white hummer.

 
• Back from commercial, Hogan is out in the parking lot trying to find Kidman.

 
• "Mean" Gene interviews Jeff Jarrett
• He says tonight he's seen the New Blood complain about opportunity, but he's all about that.
• He's putting an open contract on his locker room door, for anyone to get a World Title shot.
• Except of course any Millionaires.
• "Choke on that, Jurassic Slapass."

 
• Match 2: The Wall vs. WCW Hardcore Champion Terry Funk
• We get a recap of Dustin Rhodes getting fired last night.
• Funk hits Wall with a chair several times to start.
• Wall kicks Funk in the gut.
• Wall throws funk outside.
• Wall grabs the chair and follows, raising the chair to hit Funk.
• Funk hits Wall low and takes the chair back.
• Funk hits Wall with the chair a couple times, then drops it and climbs the turnbuckle.
• Funk (barely) hits Wall with a moonsault to the outside.
• Wall catches Funk with a kick to the face, then hits him with several chair shots.
• Wall puts Funk up on the announcer's table, then piledrives him on it.



• Wall throws Funk into the guard rail.
• Wall grabs a section of guard rail and hits Funk with it, pressing him between two pieces.
• They brawl up towards the entryway, where Funk lands a couple punches.
• Wall slams Funk into a small round cage, then slams the door on his head several times.
• I think that's the cage that Miss Hancock/Skye dances in between commercials.
• They brawl towards the edge of the curtain, where a stack of tables falls on Wall, knocking him down.
• Funk puts a table on Wall, jumps on it to break it, then pins Wall.
• Your Winner: Terry Funk via pinfall

• Russo is in his office.
• Brian Adams and Bryan Clark are at the door.
• Adams asks about their Title match, which Russo doesn't seem to know about.
• Russo says there is a lot going on tonight, so they don't get their match tonight.
• Adams says he doesn't care about what's going on, he wants his title match.
• Russo says they'll get it, they just have to be patient.
• Russo leaves, Clark and Adams aren't happy.

• Backstage, someone signs the contract for the Title match with Jeff Jarrett.
• Names starts with an "S". Beyond that, it wasn't too clear.

 
• Jeff Jarrett tears the contract down, mumbling about an idiot.

 
• "Mean" Gene interviews DDP
• Gene asks for his thoughts on his match with Mike Awesome.
• He says when got here, he wasn't allowed in the building.
• But that's fine, because after last night, he's pissed.
• He says Bischoff got into his personal life, which doesn't make him happy.
• So tonight, he's going to leave Awesome laying.
• Wow! A DDP interview where he doesn't say "jacked", "bang" or "king of badda bing".

 
• Match 3: The Mamalukes (w/o Ring Entrance) vs. The Harris Twins
• Backstage, the Br(y)ians are beating down the Harris Brothers, who were supposed to face the Mamalukes,
• That match was to declare a #1 contender for the Tag Titles.
• Adams and Clark hit the ring and a brawl ensues.
• Adams catches Vito with a full nelson slam.
• Johnny the Bull tries a double ax handle off the top rope, but Clark catches him with the Death Penalty (Urinage).
• Vito mounts comeback on Adams, who refuses to sell a punch.
• Tony tells us the name for Adams and Clark's team is "Chronic".
• Adams catches Vito for a Samoan Drop, but flips it into a sidewalk slam.
• Clark hooks Johnny for the Meltdown.
• And plants him!
• I miss seeing Clark do that, it beats the hell out of Test struggling through it.
• Clark and Adams with a double choke slam on Vito, then they throw him outside.
• And a double choke slam for Johnny.
• They throw Johnny outside.
• Adams grabs the mic, saying they've worked for Russo and he don't want them to work against him.
• Anyone who faces them will feel "chronic pain, will take a chronic beating and will live a chronic nightmare".
• Your Winner: No Contest

 
• Vampiro comes out.
• He has a message for his brother in pain.
• Sting knows nothing of pain.
• Vamp rambles on about last night.
• He tasted Sting's blood and tasted his fear.
• At Slamboree, he's going to devour Sting.
• The light go out, thunder crackles and Sting's music plays.
• Sting drops from the ceiling, surprising Vamp.
• Vamp looks around, then charges Sting, who hits him with a bat.
• Sting chokes Vamp in the corner.
• Sting taunts Vamp, then hits him with the bat several times.
• Sting says he learned about pain from the best, guys like Flair and Luger.
• Sting says Vamp will learn real quickly around here, then death drops him.
• Sting then says WCW is his turf.

 
• Recap of what just happened.

 
• Hogan is still looking for Kidman.

 
• Jarrett is complaining to Russo about the person who signed the contract, saying "that boy ain't right".
• Russo says he'll take care of it.

 
• Match 4: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Awesome
• DDP punches Awesome, then follows with a discus clothesline to start.
• DDP punches Awesome in the corner.
• DDP whips Awesome into the far corner and charges in, Awesome leaps on to the turnbuckle and catches DDP with a back elbow.
• Awesome covers and almost gets 3.
• Awesome splashes DDP and almost gets 3 again.
• Awesome whips DDP into the rope and tries a hip toss.
• DDP catches him with a DDT. (Diamond Dream I believe it was called.)
• DDP covers for 2.
• DDP goes for a clothesline, Awesome ducks and counters with a clothesline of his own.
• Cover and 2 count again.
• Awesome tries to whip DDP into the ropes, but DDP reverses into a Urinage for 2.
• DDP tries to whip Awesome into the ropes, but Awesome catches him with an elbow.
• DDP falls outside, Awesome launches himself out and on to DDP!
• Awesome punches DDP and throws him into the guard rail.
• Awesome charges DDP and leaps, but DDP moves.
• DDP grabs a chair and hits Awesome.
• DDP throws Awesome inside and follows him with the chair.
• The ref tries to stop DDP, who just shoves him away.
• DDP charges Awesome with the charge, Awesome gets his foot up and DDP eats chair.
• Awesome clotheslines DDP out of the ring.
• Kanyon hits the ring, punching Awesome.
• Kanyon whips Awesome into the ropes, then attempts a clothesline, but Awesome ducks and grabs Kanyon.
• Awesome launches Kanyon with a sweet German release suplex.
• Madden brings up something that I wondered myself, why the hell is Kanyon in the Millionaires Club?
• Awesome goes outside and gets a table.
• The ref calls for the bell, ruling it a no contest.
• Your Winner: No Contest
• Awesome puts the table in the ring, then takes Kanyon down, easing my fear Kanyon was dead after that suplex.
• Awesome goes to put Kanyon on the table.
• Wolfpac music plays, Awesome turns to face the entryway.
• Nash comes out of the crowd behind Awesome, power bombing Awesome through the table.
• Nash celebrates with DDP and Kanyon.

 
• Russo tries to convince the person who signed the contract to not take the match.

 
• Tank Abbott is walking to the ring.
• Madden is flipping out.
• Kick his ass, Tank!

 
• "Mean" Gene interview Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas
• Buff is tired of guys like Flair trying to upstage him and at Slamboree, Luger is going down.
• Shane says he's waited seven years to get his hands on Flair.
• He'll finally get his hands on Flair at Slamboree.
• Douglas wants Luger tonight.
• Luger confronts them and says if Douglas wants a match, he's got it.
• But if Russo interferes before the final bell, the tag titles are his.
• Douglas accepts.

 
• Tank heads to the ring while Madden wets himself.
• "Don't even look at me fat ass!" - Tank pointing at Madden
• Tank says he'll continue to hurt innocent people until Goldberg faces him.
• Tank looks at the announcers, then paces the ringside area.
• He grabs Bruce MacArthur, one of the owners of the Chicago Blackhawks.



• Some hockey player (didn't catch his name, nor do I care to know it) gets in the ring to help Bruce.
• Security pulls Tank away before anything happens.

 
• Hogan continues the search for Kidman.
• He finds Terry Taylor on his way in and asks where Kidman is.
• Terry tells him.
• Does Taylor know the answer to that every week?

 
• Russo tells Jarrett that the challenger still wants his shot.
• Jarrett tells him to get him out of it.

 
• Match 5: Total Package (w/Elizabeth) vs. WCW World Tag Team Champion Shane Douglas
• If Russo interferes, Team Package gets the belt.
• They lockup and Luger pushes Douglas into the corner.
• The ref separates them, Luger punches Shane, then slams his head into the turnbuckle.
• Luger with more punches in the corner.
• It's all Luger.
• Luger throws Shane into the corner and charges in, but Shane gets his feet up.
• Luger whips Shane into the ropes, Shane hops behind Luger and takes him down with a Russian leg sweep.
• Shane chokes Luger with the tape on his wrists.
• Luger catches Shane with a boot in the corner, then hits him with two clotheslines followed by a forearm.
• Luger signals for the Torture Rack.
• Buff's music starts and he comes out, complete with pyro.
• Luger stops to look at Buff, allowing Shane a chance to recover.
• Shane whips Luger into the ropes, but on the second pass, Buff grabs Luger's leg.
• Luger grabs Buff, hitting Shane with an elbow when he tried to grab him.
• Shane hits Luger low from behind.
• Shane throws Luger outside, meanwhile Buff hits on Liz.
• Shane whips Luger into a guard rail.
• A nearby guy dressed as Sting gives Shane a high five.
• Shane holds Luger for "Sting" to hit him with the bat, but "Sting" hits Shane instead.
• Luger throws Douglas in the ring, "Sting" following.
• In the ring, "Sting" unmasked to reveal Ric Flair!
• The ref calls for the bell.
• Your Winner: Shane Douglas via disqualification
• Flair attacks Douglas while Russo runs down to the ring to help Douglas out.
• Buff  and Shane demand to know where Russo was and they argue.

 
• In the parking garage, Hogan finds the white Hummer.

 
• Hogan finds Kidman
• Hogan completely manhandles Kidman.
• Torrie hits Hogan in the back with a 2X4.
• Hogan grabs her by the neck, Kidman attacks Hogan from behind.
• Hogan picks Kidman up and tosses him in a dumpster.
• Hogan sees Bischoff, who runs to get in the Hummer.
• The Hummer won't start, so Bischoff gets out and runs off.
• Hogan gets in the Hummer and rams it into the dumpster, which has Kidman inside.
• He then drives it after Bischoff.

 
• Recap of what just happened.

 
• Kidman is taken out of the dumpster on a stretcher.

 
• Match 7: WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. ????
• Jarrett comes out first as we wait to see the mystery opponent.
• The old Steiner Rock music plays, and U.S. Champion Scott Steiner comes out with his group of women.
• Jarrett looks reluctant to hand over the belt to the ref.
• Steiner manhandles Jarrett to start, catching Jarrett with a clothesline and an elbow drop.
• Steiner picks up Jarrett and presses him over head and drops him.
• Steiner whips Jarrett into the corner and charges, but Jarrett puts hit foot up.
• Steiner falls underneath Jarrett and Jarrett stomps on him.
• Jarrett catches Steiner with a double ax handle.
• Jarrett goes up top and connects with a cross body for a two-count.
• Jarrett with a drop kick.
• Steiner whips Jarrett into the corner.
• Jarrett tries to spring out over Steiner, but Steiner catches him.
• Steiner hooks Jarrett in the Tree of Woe and goes outside to yank back on Jarrett's neck.
• Steiner with a belly to belly suplex.
• Jarrett kicks Steiner low.
• Jarrett with a sleeper hold.
• Steiner hits Jarrett low.
• Steiner hooks the Steiner Recliner.
• Booker runs down and hits Steiner with an ax kick.



• The ref calls for the bell.
• Your Winner: Scott Steiner via disqualification
• Booker grabs Jarrett and says "You're welcome, punk!"

 
• Hogan continues the search for Bischoff.
 
• Hogan finds Bischoff backstage.
• Bischoff throws some stuff in Hogan's way, then runs to the ring.
• Hogan corners Bischoff in the ring.
• Hogan kicks Bischoff in low.
• Russo heads to the ring with a bat, but Bret Hart shoves him aside and runs past with a chair.
• Hogan sees Hart and keeps a hand on Bischoff.
• Hart swings and....
• That's it, pretty shitty huh?

 
• Advice to WCW, Hart vs. Hogan at Slamboree. No BS, no heel turn for Hart to be Hogan's lackey, just a match. Not too difficult, is it?

 
• Feel free to send me feedback here.

The Bad: As said above, match quality needs work. Clean (or at least a pinfall or submission) finishes would help. The show ending was bullshit too. A bit less Hogan would be nice.

The Ugly: Madden on commentary. I'm growing to like Schiavone in comparison.