WCW Thunder - Wednesday, April 26, 2000

• Jarrett puts Arquette in a chinlock while he rambles.
• Jarrett says that Arquette stepped into his world on Monday.
• Jarrett calls Diamond Dallas Page to the ring.
• DDP runs out, with Kanyon right behind.
• Jarrett tells DDP to halt or he will snap Arquette's neck.
• Jarrett says that DDP has something that belongs to him.
• Jarrett calls tonight Revenge of the New Blood.
• Jarrett wants DDP and Arquette against Bischoff and himself in a tag match, with the WCW title going to the person getting the pin. Dum de dum dum dum...
• DDP tells Jarrett off, but Jarrett points to the entryway, which shows Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas blocking the way to the back.
• Ric Flair and Lex Luger strike Buff and Douglas from behind as DDP and Kanyon hit the ring.
• Kanyon chases Bischoff, Jarrett and Arquette to the crowd.
• DDP and Kimberly have a mid-ring gab session until Kim slaps him.
• DDP goes for a Diamond Cutter on Kim but he breaks it off.
• As DDP heads out of the ring, he gets low-blowed from behind.

• Bigelow has some new music to go with his TurnerTron video.
• Cat asks Bigelow to forgive him for what he did.
• Cat calls Bigelow his hero, but when he was attacked from behind he had to return the favor.
• Cat wants WCW to send another chump to the ring.
• Bigelow considers but hits the ring when Cat insults his mother.
• Bigelow headbutts Cat, then whips him to the ropes.
• Bigelow throws Cat into the air.
• We see Miss Hancock at ringside.
• Bigelow brings a chair in but Mark Johnson gets it away from him.
• Cat then hits the Feliner for the win. Que?
• YOUR WINNER: The Cat via Feliner in 1:08.
• Post-match, Bigelow clotheslines Cat and leaves the ring.
• Okay. This is a man who has wrestled hardcore matches in both ECW and WCW and we are supposed to believe that after taking no offense from The Cat, a kick to the face sends him down for three?
• I feel dumber after watching that match.
  

• Schiavone calls the handling of Arquette a frightening and cruel thing to watch. True in more ways than one, Tony.
• I refuse to dignify Stasiak with that nickname of his.
• Curt Hennig comes out for no reason whatsoever.
• Oh, he's doing commentary.
• Stasiak hits a shoulderblock, then goes to the ropes.
• Stasiak with a hip toss.
• Kanyon with a headlock.
• Kanyon comes off the ropes with a shoulderblock.
• Stasiak puts Kanyon in a fireman's carry and delivers a slam.
• Stasiak poses for the fans and gets rolled up for two.
• Kanyon's a house of fire.
• Kanyon hits a neckbreaker.
• Stasiak with punches in the corner, followed by stomps and boot chokes.
• Stasiak slams Kanyon then we go to the announcer's booth as Stasiak mocks Hennig's tribute to Rick Rude.
• Stasiak comes off the top with a crossbody.
• Stasiak taunts Hennig, who goes to the apron.
• As Stasiak goes to the ropes, Hennig hammers him from behind.
• This allows Kanyon to nail That's A Wrap for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Chris Kanyon via That's A Wrap in 2:41.
• Post-match, Hennig runs down Stasiak as Mike Awesome walks to the ring.
• Kanyon and Awesome come to blows in the ring.
• Awesome sends Kanyon out of the ring.
• Awesome brings Kanyon to the broadcast table and powerbombs him on it.
• Awesome then blindsides Hennig in the ring.
• Stasiak gets some stomps in but DDP hits the ring.
• Awesome shoves Stasiak into a Diamond Cutter as Awesome bails.
• DDP checks on Kanyon and gets a mic.
• DDP accepts Jarrett's challenge for tonight.
  

• From Nitro: Black-and-white clips of Kidman pinning a bloodied Hulk Hogan.
• Marc Mero and his boxing trainer, Ray Rinaldi, are at ringside.
• Kidman says the legend is dead.
• Kidman talks about Hogan burying him in interviews.
• Kidman tells the crowd to shut up as they chant for Hogan.
• Kidman says the crowd idolizes him.
• Kidman says that Hogan is in a Tampa hospital bed.
• Kidman issues an open challenge to anyone in the back.
• Torrie: "I can't wait to make, err see you sweat."
• Torrie says she wants to give the kiss of death.
• Kidman says that he is waiting.
• "American Made" brings out... Horace Hogan?
• The two brawl in the ring.
• Kidman goes off top but gets clotheslined out of the ring.
• Horace drops Kidman on the rail throat-first.
• Horace with a big boot in the ring.
• Horace clotheslines Kidman out of the ring.
• Horace whips Kidman to the rail.
• Horace charges at Kidman and eats rail.
• Kidman hurls Horace into the ring steps.
• In the ring, Kidman does the Hogan Ear Cup.
• Kidman whips Horace and tries a Famasser, but flips out and gets clotheslined.
• Kidman comes off the ropes with a headscissored.
• Kidman with a snapmare and an elbowdrop.
• Kidman goes up top, preens himself and misses a splash.
• Horace with rights and a whip.
• Horace hits a sloppy powerslam as Eric Bischoff hits ringside.
• Horace with a press slam.
• Horace lands a powerbomb? Against Kidman?!
• Horace brings a chair into the ring and batters Kidman's bruised ribs.
• Kidman gets whipped and tries a sunset flip, but Horace grabs him by his throat and powerbombs him.
• Horace whips out a table and sets it ringside.
• As Horace goes for a suplex on the table, Torrie hits a low blow.
• Horace shrugs it off and grabs Torrie by the throat.
• Bischoff runs into the ring, kicks Mickey Jay and chairs Horace.
• Kidman then delivers his off the turnbuckle bulldog on the table.
• Bischoff delivers a fast three-count for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Billy Kidman via bulldog onto a table in 5:34.
• Post-match, Torrie kisses Horace and checks on her man.
    

• Schiavone talks about the masscare on the WCW Internet Crew on Monday.
• Abbott talks about Ghostberg not being in the building and how he is a coward.
• Abbott asks which idiot is going down tonight.
• Abbott points to the announcing table and walks away.
• Abbott scours the ringside until he confronts Mero.
• Rinaldi shoves Abbott and Mero jumps the ring.
• Rinaldi gets into the ring and goads Abbott.
• As the two meet, Mero hits the ring.
• Mero and Abbott get into it for a bit but security breaks it up.
• If I'm not mistaken they play the old "Johnny B. Badd" theme as we head to the back...

• A table or two has been set up ringside. I'm assuming that to win this match, one must put his opponent through a table to win.
• From Nitro: We see the bloodying of Sting.
• Sting lands a dropkick and clotheslines Wall out of the ring.
• Wall goes for a running powerslam on the table but Sting escapes and shoves Wall onto the table. Wouldn't it have been funny if it broke?
• Sting assaults Wall on the apron.
• Sting tries a sunset flip powerbomb but blows the spot.
• Sting then goes back to position and hits the powerbomb on the table for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Sting in 1:20.
• Post-match, Vampiro runs in and the New Blood members put the boots to Sting.
• Sting gets a second wind and sends Wall out of the ring.
• Sting lands a Stinger Splash on Vampiro and clotheslines him out of the ring.
• The Wall comes in for more punishment and promptly gets sent back out.
• That was pretty sad. I'm hoping the blown spot was attributed to Sting not being able to get a proper grip due to being covered in blood.
• Plus, the ending was very anticlimatic. The whole point of these matches is to build up for the eventual table spot. This was just too rushed.
  

• Time for the Ego Fest^TM!
• Russo says that upstate Rochester is not a part of New York. That's nice, but this is Syracuse, you moron.
• Buff says that this place sucks.
• Buff runs down Lex Luger.
• Douglas says that for twenty-five years, the fans have heard every interview Ric Flair has said.
• Douglas says this isn't an interview but a shoot. Umm, it's not a shoot if you say it is, Troy.
• Douglas says that at Slamboree, Flair will be Franchised.
• "Theme From 2001" brings out Team Package. About time they use Flair's music.
• I think one of the clips in Flair's video shows him putting the figure-four on Chris Jericho.
• Russo calls out security (in the form of Power Plant trainees) to block the ring.
• Flair says that he's going to speak, which is good for him and bad for Russo.
• Flair says Hogan is the man and the white-collared champion.
• Flair talks about the legendary status of Sting, Luger and himself.
• Flair says since 1985, Sting has been going "Whoo", Luger has been going (rips shirt and flexes), and Flair has been going "Whoo." (Fargo Strut)
• Flair talks about how Sting, Luger and himself have spilled their blood and mentions WarGames.
• Flair talks about how they conditioned the crowd to like wrestling and how they wanted to be the best.
• Flair calls Russo a mark for the business and Ric Flair, Luger and Sting.
• Flair addresses Douglas and says that Sting is the only Franchise.
• Flair says that until he's wrestled Kerry Von Erich, Bruiser Brody, Hogan, Hart, etc., Douglas will not be Flair.
• Flair says that he's paid more in bar tips than the guys in the ring will ever make.
• Flair points to the ceiling and says there are stars shining on him and if the guys want to touch greatness, then they better have some balls (grabs crotch).
• Flair says that if Russo interferes in the match at Slamboree, Flair gets five minutes with him.
• Russo: "I guess this is the part of the show where I act like a chicken[shit] heel."
• Russo says he will own Flair and that he's not Wahoo or Dusty.
• Russo says he's got the big apples.
• Luger runs down Buff and says he's got him at Slamboree.
• Luger demands Russo show some respect or he will hit the ring, security or not, and knock his New York teeth down his throat.
• Russo says that he is glad that Luger survived the car crash known as Lex Express.
• Russo says he came across the contracts of WCW talent and that Luger does not own Liz's contract, WCW does.
• Russo then says that he owns Liz and commands security to bring Liz to him.
• Luger and Flair beat up security and charge the ring.
• As Team Package beat on security some more, Russo kidnaps Liz and takes her to the back.
• Please don't tell me they're going to turn Liz, as well.
• Great segment, otherwise.

• Stripper music brings out Tammy and Candido.
• Geez, did Tammy's voice get deeper in the last couple of years?
• Tammy teases taking off her jacket and does so.
• Her opponent: Paisley.
• This is not going to be pretty.
• Charles Robinson is the "third man in the ring."
• Tammy goes behind and shoves Paisley to the mat.
• Paisley with a hair-pull takedown from behind.
• Let the catfight begin.
• Candido distracts Robinson as Tammy gets an eye gouge in.
• Tammy chokes Paisley with a strap and gets rid of it.
• Tammy distracts Robinson as Candido chokes Paisley on the middle rope.
• Paisley with a low blow.
• Tammy then hits a variation of the Stunner.
• Tammy goes up top and lands on Candido and Artist, who have issues outside the ring.
• Candido hits the ring and meets a low blow by Paisley.
• Tammy tries to whips Paisley from behind but Paisley reverses into a corner.
• Paisley with a couple of backflips and a very weak elbow that felt more like a lovetap.
• Tammy goes up top but The Artist trips her.
• In the ring, Tammy tries a Northern Light Suplex, but Paisley hits a very sloppy DDT for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Paisley via DDT in 3:22.
• Post-match, it's a big schmozz with Tammy and Candido cleaning house.
• Let's not mention this again, please.
    

• From Nitro: Booker takes matters into his own hands.
• Awesome gets a generic rock theme as he comes out. That about says it all.
• The police sirens bring out Scott Steiner.
• Oh yeah, a couple women accompany Steiner, as usual.
• It's another Special Guest Announcer session. Whee.
• Lockup, Booker with a hammerlock.
• Awesome kicks out and gets whipped.
• Awesome with a shoulderblock.
• Awesome with an overheard belly-to-belly suplex.
• Awesome slams Booker and hits a good leg drop for two.
• Booker with a kneelift and a couple kicks, sending Awesome to the mat.
• Booker comes off the ropes and lands a flying forearm.
• Booker clotheslines Awesome out of the ring.
• Booker flies off the apron with a right.
• Awesome sends Booker into the rail.
• Awesome smashes Booker with a chair.
• Awesome whips Booker into the steel steps.
• Back inside, Awesome goes up top and hits a flying clothesline for two.
• Awesome assaults Booker in the corner and whips him.
• Running clothesline by Awesome.
• Awesome covers for two.
• Awesome applies a chinlock.
• Booker powers out but Awesome brings him down to the mat.
• Awesome tries a whip, but Booker comes back with a Samoan Drop.
• Booker with the axe kick.
• Booker whips Awesome into a flapjack.
• Breakdance follows.
• As Booker goes up top, Steiner leaves the booth and nails Booker with the U. S. title.
• Awesome sets Booker up and hits a running Awesomebomb for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Mike Awesome via running Awesomebomb in 5:11.
• Post-match, Steiner puts Booker into the Steiner Recliner.
• Lash LeRoux and Chavo Guerrero go for the save but get pitched.
• Hugh Morrus and Van Hammer come in to turn the tide.
• Booker revives himself and the five men chase Awesome and Steiner away.
• I guess we have a new stable. Works for me.
    

• Hudson asks Bret Hart why he hit Hogan on Nitro.
• Hart talks about how Hogan's been ducking him.
• Hudson brings up Vince McMahon and the WWF and how Hart can be suspectible to mind games.
• Hart talks about how he and Hogan have never fought. My memory is foggy, but didn't they face off on Nitro once?
• Hudson mentions Hart's times in the WWF where Hogan could have held Hart back.
• Hart says that Andre passed the torch to Hulk, but Hulk didn't do the same.
• Hart says that he may not be in WCW much longer due to his injuries.
• Hart says that Bischoff promised Hart a match with Hogan and how Hogan would nix plans for said match.
• Hart talks about his column (and clips of this, as well as various clips of him and Hogan throughout the segment) and says it's about time he broke out.
• Hart says he's had complications from a concussion stemming from Goldberg. A clip of Goldberg's kick to the head is shown.
• Hart mentions that he has trouble with his speech, headaches and memory problems.
• Hart says that if he can't wrestle, then there is more he can do than that.
• Hart says he will make Hogan pay and that Hogan will be sorry that he didn't have the guts to face Hart like a man.
• Hart's final quest in wrestling would be making Hogan submit to the Sharpshooter.

• Again, I warn you. This match has a horrid outcome.
• You have been notified.
• The heels enter first.
• DDP comes out next.
• Arquette follows and botches up the Diamond Cutter sign.
• From Nitro: DDP wins the title.
• It's 11:03 P. M. EDT.
• DDP asks Penzer where the ref is.
• Here comes your ref...
• Kimberly.
• DDP/Jarrett and Bischoff/Arquette pair off.
• The two non-wrestlers brawl to the back.
• In the ring, DDP hits a neckbreaker for a five-second one-count.
• Jarrett whips DDP but eats a Liger Bomb.
• Kim refuses to count the pin, though.
• Jarrett attacks from behind.
• DDP tries a sunset flip but Jarrett sits down for a quick two.
• DDP rolls Jarrett up for no count.
• Jarrett gets a quick two on a cover.
• Bischoff walks to the ring, confident.
• Tag to Bischoff.
• Bischoff whips DDP into a kick to the gut.
• DDP gets shoved into the corner.
• Bischoff with a couple of kicks and a tag.
• Jarrett with more punishment.
• Tag to Bischoff.
• Double-whip, but DDP hits a double-clothesline.
• DDP cleans house as Arquette returns to the ring.
• DDP tries a Diamond Cutter but Jarrett pushes him into Kim.
• DDP kisses Kim as Arquette spears Bischoff.
• Jarrett hits DDP with the belt and covers him.
• Meanwhile, Arquette covers Bischoff as Kim lies there stunned.
• Mickey Jay comes in and counts the pin for...
• ARQUETTE?!? Oh. My. God.
• YOUR WINNER AND NEW WCW WORLD CHAMPION: No. I just can't say it.
• We get some dubbed in crowd reaction as DDP celebrates with Arquette, despite the fact that DDP lost the world heavyweight title in this match.
• I can't possibly rate this.

Until the main event.

Let's look at this from perspective.

Ric Flair held the WCW Title.

Sting held the WCW Title.

Lex Luger held the WCW Title.

Vader held the WCW Title.

Chris Benoit held the WCW Title, albeit very briefly in an attempt to keep him from jumping fences.

Chris Jericho could have held the WCW Title, but was held back by some of the bigger guys who thought he was too small.

David Arquette, who stands no taller than 5' 10" and weighs about 150 pounds soaking wet, is the new WCW World Heavyweight Champion.

Let me repeat. David Arquette, who is maybe fifteen pounds heavier than me at best is the world champion (and by default, the torchbearer) of the number two promotion in the country.

This speaks volumes, really it does. In fact, this was the major problem that plagued the prior regimes of WCW -- the focus on celebrities over actual wrestlers and the constant shifting and devaluing of the world title.

If WCW is to be taken seriously, crap like this must not happen. Well, sure, it's sports entertainment and all, but what does this tell the forty or so guys in the back waiting for their shot to be big man on campus? How is the morale going to be in the WCW locker room now that a second-rate actor has the most prestigious title in the organization yet a guy like Norman Smiley is still fighting pointless hardcore matches that will not elevate him?

Basically, it's telling the guys in the back that, in the words of a certain wrestler, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU WORK HARD AND PAY YOUR DUES! Seriously, though, you have guys that have been spilling their blood for years, working through injuries and trying to please the crowd, and then an actor wins the WCW Heavyweight Title?

This, to me, is the biggest slap in the face of the wrestlers and fans I have ever seen.

Not to mention one of the biggest displays of selling out to corporate America I've ever seen. I watch WCW for WCW action, not to see a gimmick match from a movie being promoted.

I'll tell you something. I really want WCW to succeed. After the first Thunder of WCW v4.0 ended, I wasn't lying when I did my closer -- they put on a good show with mediocre wrestling, but good angle development and excitement to actually make me want to know what happens next. For the first time in months, I was excited for WCW. I actually wanted to know what the next chapter in the story would be.

Well, I found out. And it's not a pleasant feeling.

I assume the world title is going to be vacated or something because another referee came in, but some major damage control is going to have to take place, as the WCW World Title has been made meaningless for the sake of increasing the box office gate of a movie that isn't even going to clear eight-figures to begin with.

And it's going to have to start with the focus on the wrestlers and angles involving said wrestlers. I don't care about Eric Bischoff. I don't care about Vince Russo. I don't care about David Arquette. I care about how Diamond Dallas Page is going to overcome the odds and prevail over Jeff Jarrett. I care about Lex Luger and Ric Flair settling their vendettae with Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas. I care about the feuds between the workers, not some guy who jumps the rail and rightfully gets the crap kicked out of him.

A DDP/Jarrett feud is a good thing. Both guys are decent-to-great workers who could pull out a good match. Now, just leave them alone and let the two do just that.

And, please, let's keep the crap out the ring, literally and figuratively.

Sorry for ranting, but I had to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.