These commercials make me want to have a smoke to calm
my nerves.
Hello all. I don't have much to say this week besides for the fact that
I'm very happy to be on the DDT Digest team as a Thunder reporter. Since
I've done the 5/22/00 Nitro report I've gotten quite a few e-mails saying
that they liked my un-biased attitude towards WCW so I'll definitely continue
to do this.
By the way, here's the one piece of hate mail which I received from Joe
Sorry or something: Good
lord, did your report ever suck. How old are you, 15? Go get
laid, loser.
The show opens with a couple clips from Nitro.
This is followed by the usual Thunder opening.
We're taped from the town that is Boise, Idaho.
Hardcore Title Match: Terry Funk (w/chair) vs. Chris Candido (w/chair)
Candido has Funk's pants and headband on. He also has a chair with him.
Candido takes the mic and makes me feel much better by saying that he's
all alone tonight.
He says he left the WWF and ECW because he wouldn't take their direction.
Candido says that he was given the opportunity to bring the Hardcore belt
to Bischoff then talks about how when a horse gets old they take it in
the back and shoot it.
Candido runs at Funk on the rampway but Funk ducks and backdrops him over.
A few chairshots by Funk and Candido jumps off the ramp where Funk follows.
They brawl into the back and through the curtains and we cut the announcers
talking and they say they're trying to get a camera back there.
A camera cuts back as Funk throws Candido into some boxes. He then drops
a box full of God only knows what onto both himself and Candido.
Candido falls into a laundry basket and Funk tips it over.
Some more weak chairshots by Funk and he throws Candido onto the back of
a flat bed truck full of some weapons.
Funk then goes behind the wheel and drives off as the ref is chasing after
the truck!
The cameras cut back to the announcers once again as they're getting a
camera crew out there.
The truck goes into a farm stable type place.
Funk gets out of the car and goes after Candido but he throws a trash can
down and it hits Funk in the head with it twice.
Candido throws Funk into a nicely placed table and then into some green
hay.
Candido puts Funk's head into some cold water and bangs him with an object
or two.
Into the cow manure Funk goes.
Funk brawls with Candido in a horse stable and a horse is actually in the
stable.
This is pretty darn stupid.
Funk with a piledriver onto the floor and the horse goes nuts and kicks
Candido out of the stable.
And sadly, I'm not lying.
Outside the stable Funk hits a couple of trash can shots but Candido hits
him and sets him up on the table.
Candido chokes him with a rope that he ties to himself and climbs up the
fence but Funk gets off and pulls Candido down and through the table.
The ref has finally arrived and Funk is pissed and hits him in the head
with a trash can.
He goes for a pinfall but the ref is out so he pours water on him.
I'm sorry, but this is Friday night sitcom stupid.
Funk covers and gets the pinfall to retain the Hardcore Title at around
five and a half minutes.
Vince Russo calls The Cat into his office and says that because of his
problems with the Flair family that Bischoff told him to put The Cat in
charge for tonight. Russo gives him his seat and leaves as The Cat puts
his feet up on the desk.
A limo arrives and it has the Flair family (minus David of course) in it.
When Kimberly arrives she gets the red carpet treatment and a bunch of
photographers take pictures of her.
Clips of the Flair vs. Jarrett stuff from Monday.
Ric Flair interview time.
Flair along with his youngest son and his wife come down to the ring.
Flair says that he drove in their as a half beaten man ready to tell a
sad story but says that he can't cry and he has to tell it like it is.
Flair lets out a "Whoo."
Flair says it took Jarrett, a baseball bat, Russo, and his son to beat
him for the World Title.
Flair says that this was the first time in twenty years he ever had his
family in the ring.
Reid made an appearance on Nitro two years or so ago just to let you know.
He says that Flair and Beth had been all around the world.
Flair says that David Flair had a chance to be someone in the business.
Not because of his skills, but because of the name Flair at the end of
his name.
He struts some and says that he's going to kick his twenty-one-year-old
ass like he should've ten years ago.
He gives the deal to Boise saying that he's asking Vince Russo to come
down to the ring and wrestle him in a match.
Here comes the "Iron Man" ripoff which I downloaded from Napster today.
Russo, David Flair, and R&B Security stroll down to the ring.
Flair taunts his son to keep walking.
R&B Security get into the ring and block Vince and David.
I bet they'll get their ass kicked tonight like every night.
Russo takes the mic and says that he's wearing sunglasses tonight because
he didn't want his boys in the Bronx to know he was in Boise.
Russo: "Second of all, you're welcome for giving you the champ and the
witch back."
R&B Security hold him back and Flair tells him to kick his ass.
Russo says he has a cold tonight and doesn't miss work but Flair gets hurt
and missed a week of work.
Flair says that Russo is a mark for him and says that he can never be Ric
Flair.
Flair says that he's a chicken(shit) with no (balls) from New York and
says that David is worse then that.
Russo says we all need to settle down and says, first of all, Flair is drooling.
Russo says that he's here to talk to Beth and Russo says that on his shirt
is the late John Lennon who lived in New York. He says that he once wrote
a great song called "Imagine" and tells to her to imagine David Flair beating
Ric Flair and retiring from the business.
Vince says that no more limos, cars, expensive jewelry, and other ones
and says that the money was the reason she got with him.
Flair's pissed and knocks down a few members of R&B Security then the
rest stop him from coming through.
He then adds in that she certainly didn't marry him for Space Mountain.
Russo: "The rumor in the business is that that rocket hasn't been out of
the launching pad in years."
Russo gives the "floor" to Flair as he celebrates.
Flair talks about eyes for some reason and asks him if he wants to wrestle
him.
R&B Secuirty block Flair as Russo insults the crowd. Flair says that
the crowd wants to see Russo bleed.
He proposes a Father/Son vs. Father/Son tag team match with Russo/David
vs. Ric/Reid.
Flair asks Reid what he says and Reid gives off in his pre-pubescent voice,
"Of course I am!"
R&B Security hold them back and Russo slaps Flair a few times and David
takes cheap shots with the bat and punches him some more as the rest of
the Security hold them back.
The Cat is on the phone and Mike Awesome comes in and Kimberly also comes
in and says that they didn't get her special platter. Kim then complains
that The Cat is in charge and that Eric makes sure all her needs are done.
Kim says she needs some TV Time and some security and The Cat stares at
her breasts and gives her Mike Awesome. Kim asks if he's any good at foot
massage and Awesome says "pretty good" and they leave.
The Cat comes into his office and throws Kidman out of his chair and sits
next to Torrie. Kidman tells her to shut up and says he's mad that Horace
is the guest ref and he doesn't trust him. The Cat tells Kidman not to
make him kick him in the mouth and says that he wants a match with himself,
Sting, and "That fat head Horace." Torrie complains for the name calling
and The Cat makes the match. After this Kidman drags Torrie out of the
ring.
Eric's music brings out Kimberly and Mike Awesome (w/a table)
Kim looks hot tonight.
Sign: When They Gave Out Brains Kimberly Was Busy Fixing Her Hair
Awesome takes the mic and talks about what happened on Monday and says
that at the GAB he wouldn't have friends at ringside and that his only
friend Kanyon is in the hospital with a broken back.
Awesome says he's going to kick DDP's miserable, old ass.
Kim takes the mic and tells them that they can welcome her with their applause.
Kim: "It could've been a lot louder."
She says that she gets a lot of fan mail asking her questions like, "Who
does you hair? What kind of perfume do you use? What's your favorite restaurant?
Are people in Boise really that ugly?"
Hey look, Tankberg's in the crowd.
Kim says that she used to not know but now knows that all the people are
gauche.
She talks about people wearing Wrangler jeans and TJ Maxx and that someone
looks like her ex.
Kim says DDP is in chair where he belongs that everyone in the crowd wanted
to get near her and smell her neck, be near her, etc.
A "fan" runs into the ring and as Kim complains. Awesome is quick to put
the boots to him and give him a Running Awesome Bomb through the table
to him.
Kim does "gross" sounds and says that she's wasted to much of her time
on them as security brings the fan.
She says that she's going to her trailer and her music plays as her and
Awesome leave.
In the back Flair talks to his nervous son about the match.
In the back, The Cat talks to Shane Douglas and says that he's been working
too hard and gives him a reward and that is a shot at Jeff Jarrett's World
Title. The Cat tells Shane to just go get the belt and laughs as Shane
says that he likes his threads. The Cat is actually good in this role.
Billy Kidman and Horace (w/Torrie) vs. Sting
The guys want to hold the ropes for Torrie but she just goes to the outside
of the ring.
The lights go off and "Seek And Destroy" plays and Sting comes down to
the ring.
He jumps over the ropes and knocks them both down.
I guess this is a Handicap Match.
Dropkick onto Horace and he clotheslines Kidman over the top rope.
He follows him to the outside and throws him into the guardrail and Horace
jumps Sting from behind and they double-team him.
Horace throws Sting back into the ring and they continue to put the boots
to Sting in the ring.
Slam by Horace and Kidman goes off the ropes and executes a legdrop for
a two count.
Double suplex by them onto Sting.
Kidman sends Sting off the ropes and Sting catches his head and throws
him down to the mat. Sting executes the Scorpion Deathlock but Horace runs
in to break it up.
Clothesline by Horace. They send Sting off the ropes and execute a double
elbow.
Horace goes for the pinfall but Kidman pulls him off and Torrie gets on
the apron.
She quickly gets off and Horace executes a DVD and goes for the pin but
once again Kidman pulls him off.
Sting executes an atomic drop as but Kidman cuts him off and continues
to put the boots to Sting.
Horace brings a table into the ring and Kidman holds Sting up and Horace
accidentally hits Kidman with a clothesline.
Stinger Splash onto both men.
Sting sets the table up against the ropes and picks Kidman up for a powerslam
and then throws Kidman into the table. The table breaks as Kidman falls
onto the rampway! Ouch!
Sting sends Horace over the top rope and onto the rampway and Sting takes
a diving charge from the top of the rampway and crossbodys both men.
Sting drags Kidman into the ring and executes the Scorpion Deathlock for
the submission win at around 5 minutes.
Kidman and Horace argue in the ring over who caused the loss. They're pointing
fingers at each other and Torrie is between them.
They shove each other and Mike Awesome runs into the ring and breaks the
shoving match up. He calms then down as we cut to a Goldberg promo and
commercial.
Gene interviews Tank and Rick about fighting Nash and Scott Steiner. Tank
says on Monday all hell is going to break loose and tonight he'd kick Steiner
and Nash's ass. Steiner then gets onto the mic and babbles on between barks
and says something about spitting and tells us to bite him.
In the back Jarrett runs into Russo and David's locker room about the match
and complains to him about him being "The Chosen One."
In the back Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash, and his chicks arrive.
LOL. Norman Smiley and Ralphus are walking through a nice neighborhood
and can't believe no one is interested in the Norman/Ralphus lawn care
service or Ralphus baby-sitting their children. Norman sees a sign that
says "Wrestling Today" with kids pulling up (Backyard wrestling) and says
that he has a plan. Ralphus says that he hopes it's better then the last
12 or 13 ideas he's had. HAH!
The Cat talks on his cell phone to someone and calls himself "The Greatest"
several times.
World Title Match: Jeff Jarrett (w/guitar) vs. Shane Douglas
Good job WCW. Jarrett's name thing still says that he's the US Champion.
The "Perfect Strangers" ripoff brings out "The Franchise" Shane Douglas.
Clips play of Shane Douglas and The Wall.
Douglas takes the mic but Jarrett attacks him.
They brawl in the corner a little bit and Shane executes an elbow, and
one of then executes an atomic drop on the other (The atomic drop I'm remembering
from memory as I switched tapes at this time).
Shane sends Jarrett to the floor as The Cat has come out on the rampway.
Jarrett and Shane brawl on the ramp and Jarrett chokes Shane with The Cat's
scarf.
In the ring they go as The Cat argues with the ref.
Off the ropes goes Shane and Jeff hits him with in the throat with the
RED SCARF OF DOOM.
The ref takes away the red scarf allowing Shane to send Jarrett off the
ropes and execute a powerslam for a two count.
Jarrett goes for a hiptoss but Shane reverses it into two pinning combinations
as The Cat argues with the ref and pushes him. The ref pushes The Cat off
the apron.
Shane Douglas executes the Pittsburgh Plunge and goes for the pinfall but
The Cat throws a chair into the ring and it hits the ref causing him to
stop counting.
Shane takes the chair and goes to hit Jarrett with it but The Cat does
that sweet cartwheel kick and the chair goes smack into Douglas' face.
The Cat exits as Jarrett picks him up for the Stroke and Jarrett gets
the win at around the three minute mark.
Mike Tenay chats with DDP.
I guess this is going to be a weekly segment now.
Tenay talks about his life being a living hell and DDP says he's heard
Eric say that he made DDP a star hundreds of times.
DDP says he can only speculate that the return was what caused their friendship
to break.
He says that Bischoff might have been pissed off because he didn't leave
with him and talks about what Kim's been doing in recent weeks.
As clips roll of DDP's stuff on the lawn he says that he didn't see it
coming.
DDP says that he still loves Kimberly but doesn't love who she is now.
DDP says that if we read the book he had to go down to the bottom of the
yoyo and regenerate or something.
Who actually read his book? Raise your hand.
Didn't think so.
DDP calls Tenay a Poindexter and says that people have always said he'd
never be in the main event or be the World Champion.
DDP says that it was a fluke that Arquette won the World Title and that
Bischoff twisted him and his wife against him.
Clips play of Kanyon getting thrown off the cage and DDP tells Tenay not
to call him the Career Killer.
He says that at the GAB they'll have to see who ends up in the ambulance.
Tenay asks if he ever thought that he was at the root of the problems and
DDP is pissed and leaves.
The Cat, Chuck Palumbo, and Shawn Stasiak talk to Gene in the back. The
Cat says that he's going to enforce the DQ rule and that Stasiak and Palumbo
would win the Tag Titles when Kronic gets DQed. Shane then runs in and needs
to be restrained by Stasiak and Palumbo as he tells Douglas that the devil
made him do it.
In the back Nash and Big Poppa Pump are on their exercise bikes with the
girls.
World Tag Team Title Match: Shawn Stasiak and Chuck Palumbo vs. Kronic
They brawl in the ring to start and Kronic sends them to the outside of
the ring.
Stasiak and Adams will start off.
Stasiak pounds on Stasiak but Adams kicks him in the stomach and goes off
the ropes with a punch.
Big powerslam by Adams as he drops him on his knee. Two count only.
Tag out to Brian Clark.
Double shoulderblock by Kronic and Clark sends him off the ropes but he
ducks and Stasiak kicks him in the head and tags out to "The Main Event
of Worldwide" Chuck Palumbo.
Clark sends his head into the corner and then sends him off the ropes and
executes some kind of a cool looking suplex.
Clark pounds on him in the corner and sends him in but Palumbo jumps up
and avoids it then executes a superkick to the chest. One count only.
Big spinning backbreaker by Clark and the tag is made to Adams.
Full Nelson Slam by Adams for a two count only as Stasiak runs in for the
save.
Stasiak kicks Adams in the back as he goes off the ropes band Palumbo executes
a DDT and Clark lands on Palumbo and gets a one count.
Tag out to Stasiak who sends him off the ropes and executes a nice back
elbow which he jumped before he hit it.
Stasiak misses a clothesline and Adams executes a big piledriver to Stasiak.
Tag to Clark and they hammer away at the heels.
They sends Palumbo over the top rope and onto the rampway.
Here's High Time by Kronic onto Stasiak and Palumbo comes into the ring
with his Lex Flexxer.
As Clark goes for the pin Adams hits Palumbo with the Lex Flexxer and disqualifies
Kronic to give the win to Stasiak/Palumbo and their the new Tag Champions
at around five minutes.
Two girls are fighting in a small wrestling ring made of foam and Norman
and Ralphus comes up to them.
Norman asks some kid if he knows who they are and he says Booker T and
Norman shows him the T-Shirt.
Norman says that it's dangerous to backyard wrestle and that they have
to learn from the pros.
Norman offers classes in amateur wrestling as Norman laughs.
He finds the champions who's been wrestling two months and weighs 130 pounds.
Norman gets into the ring and applies some basic wrestling holds and the
kids are impressed.
He rolls the kid up from a half nelson and Ralphus counts the pin and we
have a new Backyard Wrestling champion!
Norman and Ralphus run away as the kids chase after them
HAH!
Tony chats with Bischoff
Bischoff first avoids the question about where he was last week and talks
about WCW and how he said he was going to make them number one and he made
them big by making big decisions.
Bischoff says he doesn't have to live up to their expectations and that
at the GAB they're going to change the face of wrestling and that no one
can stop them and that he's boring the hell out of him. Bischoff then leaves.
Ric/Reid/Beth Flair and Russo/David are WALKING!
David Flair/Vince Russo vs. Ric Flair/Reid Flair (w/Beth Flair)
The match starts with Ric battling David and he hammers his son.
Russo jumps off the apron and Flair rips off David's shirt and continues
to chop David.
Flair takes the mic and tells Russo to get into the ring. Flair says that
Russo can't beat Reid or him anyday.
Flair says that he wants Russo to battle Reid in a three minute contest
and if Reid doesn't pin him then he'll leave the business.
Vince circles around the ring slapping people and hugs David but Reid takes
him down!
Russo is mad and takes off his jacket and he certainly isn't buff.
Reid grabs him by the leg and takes him down once again.
Russo is mad and Reid takes him down for the third time.
Flair runs into the ring and starts attacking him but David runs in and
chops his own father then gives Flair an good suplex.
David goes a little strut and Ric chops David and brawls with him on the
outside of the ring where Russo knocks him with the Statue Of Liberty.
Into the ring, Russo throws Ric and David pounds him some more but Reid runs
into the ring. David throws Reid off three times then sends him off the
ropes where Russo trips him.
David then executes the figure four leglock on Reid and as Russo holds
Reid down, they get the pinfall for the win at around four and a half
minutes.
After the match they hug as Beth checks on her son.
Russo has a microphone and as David pounds on his Dad he tells Beth to
get up and blocks a slap from her. She gets a worried look on her face
as they leave.
Okerlund talks to Ric Flair and says that he wants Russo in a cage on Monday
Night and that he'll get Ted Turner on the phone.
Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner (w/women) vs. Tankberg/Rick Steiner
The Cat is on commentary.
Tank has Goldberg's music bringing him down to the ring.
The faces pound on them in the ring and Scott executes the belly-to-belly
suplex onto Tank as The Cat takes the mic.
He says the winner of this match goes onto face the World Champion at the
GAB.
Off the ropes Rick Steiner goes and he kicks Scott in the balls and then
knocks him down then drops an elbow and gets a two count.
In the back Jarrett says that there won't be a pinfall and that there'll
be a DQ.
On the outside Rick is pounding Scott and executes a cobra clutch on Scott.
This match is pretty damn dull.
Big belly-to-belly suplex (I believe it was) and gets a two count. Tag out
to Tank and he pounds on Steiner in the corner.
How long does it take for Jarrett to get down to the ring?
Tag out to Rick Steiner and he pounds on Scott and stops him from making
a tag with a kick to the stomach.
He executes another cobra clutch and punches him in the face.
Tag to Tankberg and Tank knocks him out and then tags out again.
Two count only by Rick Steiner.
DDT by Scott Steiner and this allows him to attempt a pin and Nash pounds
away on the both of them and executes a sidewalk slam onto Steiner.
Nash with a big boot onto Tankberg.
Rick Steiner gives Nash a low blow as Jarrett runs down to the ring when
Steiner has Tankberg in a cobra clutch.
Jarrett hits him with the guitar and The Cat calls for No DQ.
Rick Steiner hits Nash with the Heavyweight Belt but only gets a two count.
Tank throws a chair to Rick Steiner and Nash kicks the boot into his face.
Jackknife Power Bomb by Nash and he scores the pin and Heavyweight Title
Shot at the PPV at around six minutes.
