- Norm H. predicts the Big Surprise Easy-E has for us at the Great American Bash:
Great job on the reports. Been thinking about this big surprise at the Bash. Been also thinking about how Bischoff and Russo perceive putting on wrestling shows.
Bischoff says that they are going to change the face of wrestling. All legalities have been clarified and the deal done. So with that in mind....
Bischoff is known for bringing in movie stars or celebrities to the wrestling world in an attempt to "change the landscape."
Russo is known for, if I'm not mistaken, bringing back old angles and copying things that have been done in the past.
So, my theory as to the surprise that will revolutionize the face of wrestling and make Vince McMahon quake in his shoes:
RoboCop.
Think it over creep!
- Man, the upper rafters look completely dead.
- Eric feigns love for the crowd.
- Bischoff: "Welcome back to the wrestling empire... that Eric built." Is this the same empire that produced the Shockmaster and the Mini-Movie?
- Bischoff talks about how Lex Luger is at home with a busted face.
- Bischoff mentions that Liz is scared to come out of her room.
- Bischoff says that Scott Steiner will step into the ring with Vampiro.
- Bischoff tells Kevin Nash to run the New Blood Gauntlet tonight.
- If Nash loses any match in the Gauntlet, he loses his title shot at the GAB.
- If any of the Millionaire's Club interferes, Nash still loses his title shot.
- Bischoff will put Jeff Jarrett in a world title match tonight with Sting.
- Russo talks about how he was forced to leave New York eight months ago to go to Atlanta and work for WCW.
- Russo says it's been the worst eight months of his life.
- Russo makes threats to John Rocker. * sigh *
- Russo points to a large steel cage up in the rafters.
- Russo says that tonight, he and Ric Flair are going to Space Mountain tonight.
- Russo says that Ric will have brain damage.
- Bischoff kisses Russo's ass.
- Bischoff says he's going to follow Russo's lead and is going to take the Hardcore Title in the ring tonight.
- Bischoff addresses Goldberg.
- Bischoff says he's had nothing against Goldberg.
- Bischoff says that Goldberg screwed up the New Blood's plans to take Kevin Nash out.
- As Bischoff yaks about Goldberg dealing with Abbott, we see Goldberg walking in the back.
- Bischoff talks about suspending Goldberg.
- Russo says that Eric is being a little too nice to Goldberg.
- As Russo rants, Bischoff tries to get him to stop but no avail.
- We show Goldberg yelling at a monitor in the back as Russo says he will get in his face.
- Russo has two words for Goldberg: "Spear this, baby." (crotch chop)
- Goldberg walks out as the bookers flee.
- Goldberg makes short work of security.
- A member of security kicks Goldberg but gets Jackhammered in response.
- More R&B security rush the ring but back off as Goldberg gazes at them.
- Jeff Jarrett, Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson walk in at different times to express their disapproval over their situations.
- Torrie ends up walking out on the group as the argument heats up.
- The tag champs have nicknames, but I won't use them.
- They'll be defending the titles against the former champs.
- It's a pier-four to start.
- Adams and Stasiak pair off on the rampway.
- In the ring, Palumbo reverses a whip to the corner but Clarke hits a back elbow.
- Clarke hits a move off the top.
- Stasiak enters the ring for a doubleteam.
- Clarke gets whipped to the ropes.
- Adams comes in and helps clean house.
- Clarke with the Meltdown on Palumbo.
- Adams throws Palumbo out of the ring as Stasiak walks around.
- The Cat walks out from the back.
- Kronic go outside and throw Stasiak back in.
- Stasiak gets some blows on Adams in the ring.
- Adams gets in a full nelson into a slam for two when Stasiak saves.
- Stasiak whips Adams and tries a back bodydrop but Adams readies for a piledriver.
- Palumbo saves with a standing side kick.
- Stasiak whips Adams into a kick.
- Stasiak comes off the ropes into a neckbreaker.
- Tag to Palumbo.
- Stasiak holds Adams for a flying shoulderblock by Palumbo for two.
- Tag to Stasiak.
- Stasiak whips Adams into a flying shoulder.
- Stasiak goes up top and hits a flying bodypress for two.
- Adams reverses a whip and hits a backbreaker.
- Tags to the partners.
- Clarke cleans house on the heels.
- Clarke applies a urinage on Stasiak.
- Cat walks into the ring and threatens the ref.
- Clarke and Palumbo go into the crowd.
- Adams press slams Stasiak onto the steel steps.
- Cat tells Billy Silverman to give a ten-count as he is put in a hold.
- Adams looks at Silverman and beats on Stasiak some more.
- As Stasiak is thrown into the ring, Cat says "8, 9, 10, ring the bell."
- Cat gives the victory to the champs on countout.
- YOUR WINNERS: Shawn Stasiak and Chuck Palumbo via countout in 6:05.
- Post-match, Kronic goes to put High Times on The Cat but the heels make the save.
- Kronic dispatches the heels as we fade.
- Decent match, goofy ending.
- Gunns enters and cries about Billy Kidman yelling at her.
- G. I. Bro says the Misfits should kick Kidman's ass.
- Madden makes the obligatory "There's no crying in wrestling!" comment concerning Major Gunns.
- Bro calls Kidman out.
- The Filthy Animals walk out with Kidman.
- Kidman walks into the ring and the two get into it.
- They trade some reversals until Bro hits a side kick.
- Kidman comes back and gets the turnbuckle bulldog in.
- Bro whips Kidman and throws him skyward.
- In the corner, Bro with ten punches in the corner.
- Bro sets Kidman up for the Shattered Dreams and calls Gunns in.
- Gunns teases Kidman but Torrie Wilson walks in.
- Torrie kicks Kidman in the 'nads.
- This allows Bro to hit the urinage for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: G. I. Bro via urinage in 1:52.
- Post-match, it's a big schmozz in the ring.
- Kidman cleans out the Misfits with a chair as the heels stomp out Lash LeRoux.
- Let's see how much offense Bischoff gives himself tonight!
- Madden puts over Bischoff, even saying that he has better hair than Funk.
- Cat throws a chair at Funk and gives him a cartwheel heel kick.
- Bischoff does a nunchuck demonstration as Funk brains Cat with a trashcan.
- Bischoff takes a shot but Funk blocks with the can.
- And again.
- And again.
- Funk batters Bischoff, who bails outside.
- Funk throws his trashcan as the heels walk to the back.
- Funk gives chase to Bischoff and The Cat.
- At 1:30, we go to the announcers.
- Uhh, Mark. Snoochie Boochies is not a reference to women.
- As Hancock dances, Kimberly and Mike Awesome walk to the ring with yet new music.
- Kim accuses Hancock of stealing her spotlight.
- Kim proceeds to bore the living hell out of me with her spiel.
- Kim nails Hancock with the clipboard from behind.
- Hancock gets up and tells Kim to get her fat ass in the ring.
- Kim acts all shocked and runs down Hancock.
- Kim says she will give Hancock a fat lip later.
- Couldn't the Kim/Hancock segment taken place after the match?
- Funk wheelbarrows Bischoff into the ring.
- Funk takes out The Cat on the rampway.
- Funk DDT's Bischoff on a chair as we go to the back.
- Russo sends the Mamalukes out to the ring.
- Funk threatens to give Bischoff a bird's eye view of his wrinkled ass.
- Funk brings Bischoff in the corner for the Stinkyface, and the camera cuts away as the puts go down..
- The Mamalukes hit the ring and doubleteam Funk.
- Johnny The Bull slams Funk and sets a chair on him.
- Big Vito hits an elbowdrop from the top rope.
- Vito is wearing a "County Jail" wife beater.
- Johnny sets a can lid on Funk as Vito batters it with a broomstick.
- Punches in the corner by Funk.
- Vito hits a sloppy Impaler on Funk.
- The heels place Bischoff on Funk for the win.
- YOUR WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: Eric Bischoff.
- Oh, like you're over enough to deserve a title reign, Eric. F*** You, WCW.©
- Yes, the Hardcore Belt is supposed to be a joke title, but it's the principle.
- I'm taking off for interrupting the match, the cluster finish and Eric Bischoff booking himself into a title.
- Steiner does his work on the mic.
- It's funny how Shakira and Midajah act all excited when Steiner talks about doing it with other women.
- Madden gets an orgasm over Steiner's catchphrase. * sigh *
- Apparently, Vampiro is spotlighted in the WCW Magazine this month.
- Vamp has a blowtorch and gasoline on him tonight.
- Lockup, Steiner shoves Vamp in the corner and lays into him.
- Vamp reverses a whip and misses a spinning heel kick.
- Steiner with a suplex.
- Steiner press slams Vampiro.
- Steiner whips Vamp into the corner but runs into a boot.
- Vamp kicks Steiner twice in the leg and then nails a spinning roundhouse.
- Steiner reverses a whip into a lariat.
- Elbowdrop by Steiner.
- Steiner sends Vamp out of the ring.
- Steiner brings Vamp to the rail and the steps.
- Steiner whips Vamp into the rail again.
- Steiner nails Vamp with a chair.
- Steiner slams Vamp on the announcer's table.
- Steiner gets into the ring to break the ten-count then heads out for more.
- Vamp sends Steiner into the rail.
- Vamp with a chairshot.
- Vamp with a sidekick.
- Steiner comes back and sends Vamp into the ring.
- Steiner mounts Vamp up top and tries a suplex, but Vamp knocks him off.
- Vamp hits a spinning side kick on Steiner from the top.
- Vamp gets the blowtorch but misses.
- Steiner tries a suplex but Vamp breaks free.
- Vamp nails Steiner with the torch.
- Midajah hits the ring, goes up top and nails Vamp with a bodypress.
- Vamp then chases Midajah out of the ring and threatens to torch her.
- Sting appears from behind and kicks Vamp's ass into the ring.
- Steiner with a belly-to-belly suplex and Recliner for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Scott Steiner via Steiner Recliner in 5:10.
- Post-match, Steiner releases the hold after a minute.
- R&B Security rush the ring but Sting and Steiner clear them out.
- Guess we're blowing off the Tank/Goldberg feud tonight.
- Goldberg gets the escorted entrance.
- Tank bails as the bell sounds.
- Tank misses a swing and eats a superkick.
- Goldberg takes down Tank and sets up for the spear.
- Rick Steiner runs in with a chairshot on Goldberg.
- Tank puts his foot on Goldberg as Rick forces Mickey Jay to count.
- It gets two.
- As the heels beat on Goldberg, Kevin Nash interjects himself into the segment. * sigh *
- Goldberg gets whipped to the ropes.
- Nash trips Steiner as Goldberg spears Abbott.
- Goldberg with the Jackhammer for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Goldberg via Jackhammer in 2:15.
- Goldberg is cut open on the top of his head.
- Very disappointing. Enough with the damned overbooking, already!
- Jarrett attacks Sting during the light show.
- Sting reverses a whip, misses a clothesline and hot-shots Jarrett on the rope.
- Sting whips Jarrett into the corner and misses the Stinger Splash.
- Clotheslines a go-go.
- Sting counters a dropkick into a powerbomb.
- Sting tries for the Deathlock but Jarrett shrugs him onto the rampway.
- Jarrett continues the momentum with a chair.
- Zzzz...
- Sting clotheslines Jarrett into the ring after what seems like two years.
- Sting tries to sunset flip Jarrett, but he holds onto the ropes.
- The referee kicks Jarrett's hands off the ropes and Sting flips him over for two.
- Sting gets another roll-up in for... three?
- But, wait. Eric Bischoff comes out and says that this was a non-title match.
- Sting says that Jarrett will come into GAB in a body bag.
- Jarrett swings at Sting with the belt but misses.
- Sting kicks Jarrett's ass from pillar to post and puts him in the Deathlock on the rampway.
- Hudson has the balls to mention the words "Dusty Finish" through all of this. I thought he was better than that.
- Sting gets the guitar and brains Jarrett with it, knocking him off the ramp.
- Sting then stalks towards Bischoff.
- YOUR WINNER: Sting via pinfall in 2:26.
- Way to make your champion look good, WCW.
- Mike Awesome comes out first.
- Awesome tells the crowd to "shut up." Considering that they were bored to silence to begin with, that wasn't necessary.
- Awesome cuts a promo on DDP.
- Awesome introduces the women that "everybody came to see."
- Kimberly comes out with some... different... wrestling boots.
- Hancock tells Kim that they will fight under one condition.
- Hancock has a release that if she messes up Kim, she won't be held responsible.
- Kim signs the release.
- Hancock shows the sign of the Diamond Cutter.
- DDP walks out as Kim mentions the restraining order.
- DDP tells Kim that she just signed her rights away.
- Although restraining orders don't work across state lines, anyway.
- Hancock and Kim start off.
- Hancock goes after Kim, who hits the ropes.
- Kim poses for the crowd.
- * yawn *
- Kim says that was pathetic.
- Hancock then takes off her glasses and dances, but Kim shoves her down.
- Hancock rips off the "M" on Kim's top.
- Kim with a shove.
- Kim is cornered by the faces.
- Kim goes for a slap on DDP, who blocks.
- Hancock grabs Kim and hair throws her.
- Hancock brings Kim to the ringpost but Awesome makes the save.
- Hancock slaps Awesome and then rushes the ring to tag DDP.
- DDP with a flying clothesline.
- They brawl a little and DDP gets in a nice sunset flip but Awesome blocks.
- They fight over a backslide, but Awesome gets in a mule kick.
- Awesome with a German suplex.
- Awesome brings DDP into the turnbuckle.
- DDP comes alive, sends Awesome into the turnbuckle and goes to work.
- Awesome with a clothesline as he gets whipped.
- Awesome splashes DDP and goes outside.
- Awesome gets the table and sets it up outside.
- Hudson: "He's not setting up a buffet! No offense, Madden." Nice.
- Back inside, Awesome slams DDP.
- Awesome goes up top and hits a frog splash for two.
- Miss Hancock looks as bored as the audience.
- Awesome goes for the Awesomebomb but Miss Hancock teases him by pulling her skirt up.
- This allows DDP to hit the Diamond Cutter for the win.
- YOUR WINNERS: Miss Hancock and Diamond Dallas Page via Diamond Cutter in 5:19.
- I did so not need to see this match.
- The cage is halfway lowered as Horace and Bischoff hit the ring.
- Bischoff tells Horace not to put that table up, yet he does so anyway.
- Bischoff says that Hulk is not going to show up.
- Horace wants to put a sorry ass through the table, but Bischoff says they have the night off.
- nWo music plays...?
- Hulk Hogan comes out in Hollywood garb.
- Damnit. I was hoping that was Scott Hall.
- Hollywood says that Hulk wasn't going to wrestle, but he didn't say anything about Hollywood.
- Hollywood rushes the ring and gets beat down as the cage lowers.
- Hollywood with the BACK RAKE OF DEATH!
- Hollywood whips Horace into a clothesline.
- Hollywood whips out the belt.
- Hollywood chokes out Horace.
- They go outside the ring. (Tonight's cage is a Hell In a Cell-like setup.)
- Hollywood whips Horace into the cage back first.
- Hollywood gets a chair, but Horace kicks the chair into him.
- More chairshots by Horace.
- Horace misses a chair shot and Hollywood comes back with punches.
- Hollywood brings a chair into the ring.
- Hollywood with a kick that misses by a mile, then a chairshot. Sad.
- Hollywood whips Horace into a chair block.
- Hollywood sets the chair on Horace's leg.
- Hollywood hits the leg drop on the chair for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Hollywood Hogan via leg drop in 3:08.
- Post-match, the cage door is unlocked and Kidman rushes the ring.
- Hollywood throws Kidman out of the ring and onto the table.
- That was depressing on many levels.
- As Russo comes out, I ponder about which is worse -- putting a booker over or being forced to make Jimmy Garvin look good.
- Ric Flair, Mrs. Flair and Good Son of Flair walk out.
- Russo acts nervous as Ric walks to ringside.
- Your referee is Lil' Naitch.
- Ric is grinning like a madman here.
- They lockup.
- Ric whips Russo, who hits a shoulderblock.
- As Russo celebrates, Ric charges at him in the corner.
- Russo with a mule kick.
- Russo with a chop and a mocking of the Fargo Strut.
- Ric charges at Russo, takes him shirt off and chops away.
- Ric comes off the ropes with a kick to the balls.
- Ric with a backdrop suplex.
- Ric hits the rolling kneedrop.
- Russo rolls out of the ring.
- Ric sends Russo into the cage.
- Ric with a loud chop.
- Ric throws Russo into the cage again.
- Geez, Russo's chest is pretty red.
- I'll give Vince credit -- he's taking a beating here.
- Ric punches away on Russo.
- Ric hurls Russo into another section of the cage.
- David Flair comes out from under the ring, but Ric sees him.
- As Ric tends to David, Russo knocks out Robinson.
- Russo tries to exit the cage, but Reid bites his hand off.
- Ric is basically beating the crap out of his son.
- David takes his shirt off.
- Ric sends David into the cage twice.
- Ric with a chop on David.
- Russo has a ladder and he's setting it up in the ring.
- As Ric goes for Russo, he eyepokes Ric.
- Russo opens up a trap door on the top of the cage.
- Russo goes to the top of the cage and Ric follows.
- Is this necessary?
- Ric chops Russo to the mat.
- Russo with another eye gouge.
- Russo hangs onto the cage to lower himself into the ring but Ric stomps his hands, sending Russo crashing down.
- Robinson sets up the ladder so Ric can get back into the ring.
- Ric stomps on the heels and puts the figure four on Vince Russo!
- Russo is trying to shut out the pain.
- Russo tries to grab David's hand and succeeds.
- Apparently, Robinson must have said "I Don't Know" as he was asking Russo if he wanted to give, as the red liquid drops on Ric and Robinson, knocking them out.
- David puts the figure four on Ric as Russo chokes him out.
- Robinson counts the pin for Russo.
- YOUR WINNER: Vince Russo via pinfall in 9:40.
- That didn't offend me nearly as much as I thought it would, mainly because Russo put Ric Flair over until the last twenty seconds, and even still he sold the beating after the match.
- I'm scared to say this, but I thought this was match of the night here. Ric Flair can still work miracles even at 50.
- Moments Ago, the "blood" pours on Ric and Charles Robinson.
- We see security harass a guy with a "Best Ever Nitro" sign before cutting away.
- It's past 10:00 P. M. EDT, by the way.
- The "Iron Man" knockoff brings out Disco Inferno, Vince Russo, the Mamalukes, Chris Candido, Rey Mysterio, Jr. and Juventud Guerrera.
- As Russo rants, more New Blood walk out.
- Disco goes first and gets pinned after a side slam in 0:09.
- Chris Candido runs in and gets powerbombed.
- Johnny The Bull gets one too.
- Big Vito comes in and gets clobbered.
- Mark Johnson is counting these pinfalls despite the wrestlers not being pinned.
- Powerdrop for Vito. Foot cover for the pin.
- Rey, Jr. comes in and gets killed.
- Now, they all come in and Nash gets beat down.
- Goldberg runs down to the ring and clotheslines the tag champs.
- Shane Douglas and Vampiro work over Goldberg on the ropes.
- Goldberg comes back and knocks Vamp out of the ring.
- Goldberg press slams Douglas onto Candido.
- Goldberg and Nash embrace.
- Bischoff comes out and threatens Goldberg with a suspension on Thunder.
- Goldberg tells Bischoff that his ass is next if he's suspended.
- So, two guys just got put over the entire freaking company?
- This was so ridiculous that I can't even rate this.