Apparently, as of this report, I will have been writing in some capacity for DDT Digest for two years! I just want to thank everyone who has continued to read and send their feedback, be it positive or negative. And to all you new readers out there, welcome aboard! You know who you are. :-)
I liked your reference to the British version of "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?" In your closing lines of your Nitro report. Hopefully more people picked up on it then just me. Gave me a chuckle though.
I give you a million points for the compliment, and another million for being a thousand times more eloquent than Tony Slattery.
OH WHY DON'T YOU F*** OFF!!!
So sue me, I made that one up. Just doing my part to remind everyone that the British WLiiA shows are much better than the American ones. :-)
- Tank Abbott goes to the disc jockey position and runs DJ Ran off.
- Tank says that DJ Ran lived up to his name.
- Tank introduces the greatest rock and roll band in the world -- Three Count.
- Three Count walks out with their green circles.
- As Evan Karagias talks, Tank tells the boys to shut up and sing.
- Three Count does their act while Tank shuffles.
- The Jung Dragons come out for an opening spot-fest.
- The faces control, with Jamisan hitting a nice frankensteiner.
- Yang hits a dive to the outside as the cameras pan away.
- The Dragons hit a combo drop toehold/senton.
- Apparently, Shane Helms injured his arm on the outside, so Danny Young helps him out.
- This pisses off Tank, who goes to the heels corner.
- Yung whips Evan, who gets in a bodyscissors into a faceplant.
- Tag to Moore.
- Moore with a gourdbuster for two.
- Moore whips Yang, who reverses.
- Moore tries a bodyscissors but eats a reverse powerbomb.
- Tags to Kaz and Evan.
- Kaz charges at Evan but eats corner.
- Evan with a bodypress from the top rope.
- Jamisan connects with a moonsault from the apron.
- Moore with a flying somersault on the outside.
- Yang goes for a dive, but Tank blocks his path.
- Tank no-sells some punches for a while.
- Yang does the crane pose, then gets decked.
- Yang flounders like a fish for a couple seconds, then gets pinned by Moore.
- YOUR WINNER: Three Count via pinfall in 3:23.
- Post-match, Shane Helms rejoins the group as Tank busts a move on the outside.
- Goldberg says he's seen and heard as much of the Outsiders crap as he could stand.
- Goldberg calls Scott Hall and Kevin Nash two of the biggest pieces of garbage he's ever seen.
- Goldberg says it's about time someone stood up and told the good people what the hell is up.
- Goldberg talks about how the Outsiders have undermined WCW, yet the idiots in the crowd kept cheering.
- Goldberg says he carried this company on his back for two years.
- Goldberg says the fans spit on him.
- Goldberg refers to Duggan's beating last week.
- Goldberg wants everyone to realize that it's "my time." Haven't I heard that saying before?
- Kevin Nash walks out.
- Nash has four words for Goldberg.
- The first two are "It's my time." E-yeah.
- The next two are "Why wait?"
- Security blocks the two from colliding as The Cat runs out and tells production to go to commercial.
- Funk batters Hugger towards the ring.
- Funk chairs Hugger a couple times.
- They go inside.
- Funk sets a chair on one of the turnbuckles.
- Funk pummels Hugger and drives him into the mounted chair head-first.
- Funk throws Hugger outside.
- Funk throws a chair at Hugger's back.
- Funk slams Hugger's head on the announcing table.
- Funk shoves Hugger on the rail and chairs him again.
- Hugger counters a chair shot and gets a second wind.
- Hugger throws a chair at Funk.
- Hugger with another chair shot.
- Funk ends up over the rail, and Hugger follows.
- Hugger goes for a piledriver on the chair, but accidentally kicks it out of the way as Hugger performs the move.
- They go back to ringside.
- Hugger with a suplex.
- Funk is bleeding from a cut near one of his eyes.
- Hugger sets a chair on Funk's head and goes to the ring.
- Hugger goes for a springboard something, leaps off the rope, jumps on the rope again and hits a legdrop.
- Funk goes back inside and he's opened up.
- Hugger enters the ring.
- Hugger ducks a chairshot, but Funk gets in an inside cradle for two.
- Hugger with a chairshot for two.
- Hugger DDT's Funk on a steel chair for three.
- YOUR WINNER: Johnny "The Bull" Hugger via DDT in 6:33.
- Post-match, Funk tosses the chair up and tends to Hugger.
- Sorry, guys, blood won't earn you a Spice.
- A big flame knocks Asya off the stage as she was posing.
- * sigh *
- Hooded Guy gives Torborg his Demon clothing.
- Hooded Guy reveals himself as Vampiro, and we see another hooded man behind Vamp.
- I think I'll spare you this time around about the suckitude that is this angle.
- Jindrak and O'Haire walk out.
- They'll be facing members of the Misfits in Action.
- The winner of this match gets a title shot next Monday.
- Lash goes toe-to-toe with Jindrak and gets pummelled.
- Lash evades a charge to the corner and does his punches/Bourbon Street Blues/clothesline combo.
- With O'Haire's help, Jindrak takes control.
- Tag to Morrus.
- The heels do a double leapfrog and O'Haire hits a dropkick.
- O'Haire goes up top but Morrus throws him off.
- Tag to LeRoux, who gets doubleteamed to oblivion.
- Jindrak covers for two.
- Jindrak whips LeRoux, who ducks a clothesline and hits a headscissors.
- Billy Silverman is distracted by Morrus as LeRoux gets a small package.
- Tag to O'Haire.
- The heels try a doubleteam, but Lash hits O'Haire and tags Morrus.
- Lash and O'Haire go to the floor.
- Morrus goes up top but Jindrak grabs him and slams him down.
- O'Haire goes up top and hits a splash for two.
- Lash hits the Whiplash on Jindrak.
- Morrus follows with the moonsault for the win.
- YOUR WINNERS: Hugh Morrus and Lash LeRoux via moonsault in 4:04.
- Post-match, Perfect Event run in and kill everything that moves with their Lex Flexors.
- The other Misfits run-in to no avail.
- As Perfect Event celebrates, everyone in the ring comes to and clears the ring.
- Gunns takes off her shirt for no particular reason.
- Everyone falls to the ring in hopes that Gunns will give them mouth-to-mouth. Cute.
- Judging by the fact that the run-in came after the match ended, I am assuming that Vince Russo did not write tonight's show. This, of course, is a good thing.
- I have a bad feeling that the wrong man will walk out as champion after Bash At The Beach.
- Blah blah Chosen One blah blah.
- Jarrett wants to make a statement.
- Jarrett says that Hulk Hogan is the man.
- Jarrett says that his grandfather used to tell him stories about how he would pay a nickel to watch Hogan wrestle.
- Jarrett says that he will put Hogan out to pasture.
- Jarrett says that Hogan might be the man, but Jarrett is a god.
- Jarrett calls some fat ladies down, referring to what Hogan will hear at BATB.
- A few ladies come out in viking gear with "Ride of the Valkyries" playing in the background.
- Jarrett makes reference to his "fat ladies singing" comment from last week.
- This is... surreal.
- Jarrett asks the women who will walk away world champion.
- All three answer "The Chosen One."
- Jarrett gets the ladies to sing "Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye." Very badly, I might add.
- What is this proving?
- Some suit hits the ring and cuts everyone off.
- Jarrett makes more fat person jokes as the suit advances towards him.
- Jarrett's mic gets cut, so he grabs a guitar and brains the suit.
- As Jarrett walks to the back, The Cat heads out.
- Cat asks for the crowd's attention, then tells them to shut the hell up.
- Cat puts Goldberg and Kevin Nash in the ring tonight... along with eighteen other men.
- It will be a battle royale, and Goldberg and Nash must survive to the end.
- According to Madden, sales for "Positively Kanyon" are great.
- Booker gets his old Harlem Heat music back! YES!
- Chris Kanyon jumps Booker as he gets to the apron.
- Kanyon shoves Booker into the rail and drops him on another rail.
- Kanyon throws Booker in as Jamie Tucker (the referee) is distracted.
- Franchise with a gourdbuster.
- Franchise hits his rolling necksnap.
- Franchise stomps away in the corner and does a boot choke.
- Franchise sends Booker out of the ring.
- Booker puts the fists to Kanyon, but gets nailed by Franchise.
- They go back in, and Franchise stomps on Booker and chokes him.
- Booker gets whipped to the corner but does a floatover roll-up for two to a BIG pop.
- Franchise regains control, killing the crowd.
- Booker comes back with a forearm.
- Booker reverses a whip into a kneelift.
- Axe kick. "Spinerooni." Harlem Sidekick.
- Kanyon gets on the apron, and Booker goes to deck him.
- Franchise charges at Booker but hits Kanyon by mistake.
- Booker hits a urinage for the pin.
- YOUR WINNER: Booker T via urinage in 3:05.
- Immediately after, Booker gets nailed by Kanyon and beaten.
- Kanyon goes up top and hits a legdrop.
- I fail to understand why Booker T isn't allowed any offense in his matches other than his usual spots.
- Please, WCW, let's keep this segment within human logic.
- We hear a snippet of the WCW Road Report during Vamp's entrance. That's just sloppy, guys.
- The SCARY COFFIN OF DOOM brings out The Demon.
- The crowd is pretty silent through all of this.
- Demon charges the ring and gets pummelled.
- Vamp snapmares Demon and kicks him in the back.
- Demon with a gut shot, but Vamp gets in the eye rake.
- Crowd: "We want Sting!" Wow, this is getting over.
- Vamp with a roundhouse kick.
- Vamp goes up top and misses the Canadian Jam. My name, not WCW's.
- Demon with the punches of fire.
- The crowd rises and we see several guys in masks carrying bats.
- Oh, f*** me.
- Vamp with a flying clothesline.
- Vamp takes notice of the hooded men.
- This allows Demon to get in the Love Gun (cobra clutch slam) for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: The Demon via Love Gun in 2:37.
- Post-match, the hooded guys surround Vamp.
- The lights go out and Vamp has magically disappeared.
- I implore whoever is running the show tonight to watch tapes of The Warrior pulling this disappearing act shit in 1998 and then look at how much that tanked.
- David Flair is watching Hancock from a monitor in the back.
- David tries to sing that Celine Dion song from Titanic to Daffney... really, really bad.
- Hancock offers to give the fans what they want to see.
- Crowbar hits the ring with a chair.
- We see David kissing on Daffney and then fake a stomach ache as Crowbar hits the ring.
- Crowbar threatens to cut Hancock's hair.
- Crowbar says that David has two strikes against him.
- Crowbar will give David a ten-count before we get a haircut.
- Crowbar: "1, 6, 7, 10..."
- David charges the ring but backs off.
- We see Daffney walk out as David holds his ground.
- Daffney low-blows David and pours medicine on him.
- Hancock shoves Daffney from behind and chokes her out.
- Crowbar threatens Hancock, and she puts the move on him.
- David nails Crowbar from behind twice.
- David and Hancock they clip some of Daffney's hair.
- David puts the clippers and hair in Crowbar's left hand.
- Daffney and Crowbar come to.
- Daffney flees the ring thinking that Crowbar clipped her hair.
- Crowbar runs behind as we go to commercial.
- Disco has a special interview tonight.
- Disco calls out Lance Storm and Billy Kidman.
- Out comes Rey as Lance and Juvi as Kidman.
- Juvi asks where Torrie is.
- Rey does Storm's "Calgary... Alberta, Canada" bit.
- Storm and Kidman jump the ring.
- Storm picks up Rey for a Kidman dropkick.
- Storm assists Kidman with a top turnbuckle moonsault.
- Cover gets two.
- It's Juvi and Kidman in the ring.
- Juvi with a nice reverse powerbomb.
- As Kidman gets whipped, Storm tags himself in. Nice touch.
- Storm with a standing sidekick.
- Juvi with some chops.
- Juvi goes to the ropes and gets picked up in a military press.
- Rey dropkicks Storm and Juvi falls on top for two.
- Juvi holds Storm for a legdrop on the groin by Rey.
- Cover gets two.
- Rey tags Juvi as Schiavone says "Katie, bar the door." * sigh *
- Juvi sends Storm to the corner.
- Storm raises his boot as Juvi charges at him.
- They do a standing switch, and Juvi gets in a headscissors.
- Storm hot-shots Juvi on the top rope after a charge.
- Tag to Kidman, who's on fire.
- Storm comes off top with a guillotine legdrop for two.
- Kidman tries a whip to a corner on Rey, Jr. but he reverses.
- Kidman floats over a Rey charge attempt.
- Kidman with a bodyscissors but Juvi grabs him.
- Rey goes up top and hits a legdrop as Juvi holds him!
- This gets two, as Storm makes the save.
- Storm with a right.
- Kidman facejams Juvi.
- Rey tries for a headscissors on Storm but gets powerbombed.
- Juvi headscissors Storm out of the ring.
- Disco tosses a chair into the ring as Konnan distracts the ref.
- With Kidman on the turnbuckle, Rey goes up top and facejams him on the chair for the win!
- YOUR WINNERS: Rey Mysterio, Jr. and Juventud Guerrera via facejam in 3:53.
- Post-match, the Animals do a beatdown on the faces.
- Good match!
- Tony Schiavone says that Scott Steiner was suspended due to using the banned Steiner Recliner.
- Awesome comments on a sign saying that he is a mullet.
- The crowd chants "Mullet." Reminds me of the "Nugget" chants for the late Owen Hart.
- Awesome rants some more.
- Awesome says he wants Scott Steiner tonight.
- Awesome tells the timekeeper to ring the bell.
- Awesome tells referee Billy Silverman to count to ten.
- Silverman counts to ten, but no Scott Steiner.
- Awesome says he is 2-0 against Scott.
- Brother Rick hits the ring and clears Awesome out.
- Rick says that the next time Awesome calls out a Steiner, he should make sure neither brother is in the arena.
- That was pointless.
- As usual, I'll call mostly highspots and eliminations only.
- Kevin Nash enters.
- Cat tells the faces to sit back and wait for his orders.
- Rey, Jr. and Juvi run in first.
- Nash no-sells their offense and gives them the Greg Gagne noggin knocker.
- Rey and Juvi get eliminated in 0:20.
- Konnan runs in and gets clotheslined out in 0:33.
- Disco is next with a sleeperhold.
- Here comes Perfect Event to beat on Nash.
- Nash elbows Perfect Event and gives Palumbo a chokeslam.
- Nash elbows Stasiak in the corner.
- Big Vito comes in with a kendo stick but Nash uses it against him.
- "Positively" Kanyon comes in.
- Booker T shoves The Cat to the side and the faces charge the ring.
- It's a big schmozz now.
- As Stasiak clotheslines someone out of the ring, Goldberg's pyro and music hits.
- Goldberg walks to the ring.
- Only a third of the guys that were in the ring before Goldberg's entrance are left.
- Nash clears the ring of Disco and Konnan.
- Goldberg walks in the ring and gives him a nice side kick.
- Some of the faces hold onto Goldberg's leg.
- This allows Nash to kick Goldberg out of the ring for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Kevin Nash in 3:38.
- Security breaks up a melee as we fade.
- That sucked ass.