WCW Thunder - Wednesday, August 2, 2000

By Greg of the M.E.W TNM Circuit (Hey, that other page ain't that great no more)

Trivia From Last Week: No one got the Survivor Series question right, as the correct answer was nine managers which I don't have the list of right now. Sam Houston played the role of Jake Robert's half brother and someone pointed out that Sam Houston is the half brother or something to Rockin' Robin. The last PPV The Mountie's shockstick was used at was Royal Rumble 1992. Congratulations to anyone who got some right, remember, in September when I stop Thunder reporting, report to Cubs Fan for the prize. :)
No trivia this week.
By the way, the reason why there were no pictures on Nitro is because I taped Nitro and totally forgot all about it until late Tuesday night.
"Get ready for World Championship Wrestling," says Tony. I don't think you can ever be ready. It just happens.
Our Patron Saint is at the announce booth!

Canadian 100 kilograms and under Champion Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera (w/Filthy Animals)

Lance Storm welcomes us to "World Canadian Wrestling."
Lance Storm makes Our Patron Saint sick.
Storm renames the Cruiserweight Title within the Canadian metric system.
It's now known as "The Canadian 100 kilograms and under Championship."
Hah! Good name.
Lance says it's not his fault the Americans don't understand the metric system, understand that the greatest wrestling comes from Canada, and it's not his fault that he's the greatest technical wrestler in the world.
Storm: "Don't blame Canada, blame yourself."
The Cat's music then hits and the man himself makes his way to the ring.
The Cat calls him a Canadian chump.
Our Patron Saint agrees.
The Cat says the names of his title, messing up the names as Storm corrects him.
Funny thing is that if you take the new name of the Hardcore Title (Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title) it spells what a lot of people think the title's worth.
The Cat says that he's going to put all three of them on the line tonight.
The opponents are Juventud Guerrera (100 kilograms or under Title), Norman Smiley (Hardcore, isn't he fired?), and The Cat (Canadian Title), who says he's going to kick his ass.
The Cat has spoken.
Storm begins to leave but The Cat says that they're going to start the night off right.
The Filthy Animals, with that annoying theme music come out.
Disco points to The Cat and The Cat responds with a split.
The Cat gives The FA some high fives and leaves.
Juvi isn't wearing his Panama pants tonight. He's wearing some regular black shorts.
The ref gives David Penzer some booklet.
David Penzer says that all matches for that title are to be held in a scientific environment, meaning that The Filthy Animals are banned from ringside.
As I'm watching my Thunder tape, it's time for Howard Stern.
In the words of the great character from South Park, "Timmy!"
Wrong person. In the words of the great character from South Park, "Screw you guys, I'm going home."
Wait, I already am home.
Well, I'm going to the other room.
So in final, screw you guys, I'm watching Howard Stern.
It's an hour and a half later, back from watching Stern and Unhappily Ever After. Let's get back to Thunder.
Storm jumps Juvi from behind as the FA exit.
Juvi perches up on Lance's chest, then dropkicks him.
Juvi ducks a clothesline and executes a spinning headscissors.
Juvi is kicking some booty.
Lance pokes Juvi in the eyes.
He goes to send The Juice off the ropes but Juvi stops him.
Juvi plants him with a Juvi Driver.
Storm retreats to the outside.
Juvi goes over the top with what Tony calls a crossbody.
Pah. If that was a crossbody then Pamela Paulshock is the greatest announcer in history.
Juvi throws him back in the ring.
Juvi misses a crossbody from the top rope.
Our Patron Saint thinks Lance needs to pace himself.
Juvi goes under Storm and chops him.
Juvi ducks a clothesline and executes another spinning headscissors.
Deja vu.
Juvi goes over Lance and onto the apron.
Juvi drops him throat first.
Juvi then jumps in and onto Lance for a two count.
The Juice executes a huran..Frankensteiner.
Don't want Scott Steiner damaging my vocal chords like he did to Tenay.
Two count only.
Observation of the night: It's raining outside.
Juventud sends Lance into the corner.
When he runs in Lance moves out of the way and sends Juvi in.
The Juice gets out of a German Suplex, then gets caught in another one.
Juvi lands on his feet out of it and bulldogs him.
Our Patron Saint thinks that this it.
Juvi goes to the top rope.
Lance Storm moves out of the way of the 450 Splash but Juvi lands on his feet.
Storm goes for a back suplex but Juvi nails a small Spicolli Driver for a two count.
After twirling around a bunch Lance Storm drops Juvi face first out of a Frankensteiner attempt.
Canadian Maple Leaf in the middle of the ring. Juvi gives up to give the win to Lance Storm at around four minutes, fifteen seconds.
I must say, hah, hah, hah Aldo. You got a straight jacket match, I get three Lance Storm matches.

At the announce booth I learn three things. First, Our Patron Saint is now a commentator for Thunder and he won't interfere in matches. Second, "I'm going to be cool because I am cool," is what Our Patron Saint said. Third, Our Patron Saint looks like one bad MOFO in those glasses of his. Nitro footage is shown with stuff happening after Nitro went off the air. Kronic ran out for the save.

In the MIA locker room General Rection and the rest of the MIA do some stuff involving the words ass and crap.
Booker T has arrived at the arena and Tony is so shocked that he's limping. He did get figure-foured and whacked in the leg with a guitar in the past week, you know.
M.I. Smooth is talking to Skip Over in the back. Smooth tells him that his name isn't Smooth at all, and tells him to come with him, and he'll take care of it.

David Flair (w/Miss Hancock) vs. Sgt. A-Wall (w/MIA)

Miss Hancock asks us if she looks like the kind of girl who wants to roll around in mud.
The fans answer with cheers and Hancock tells them she's not some bimbo who wrestles in mud for a dollar.
Hancock says that maybe the mud will do something for Major Gunns' nasty face.
The MIA then interrupt her, making their way down to the ring.
The Wall and David go face to face.
David then runs right into a big powerslam from The Wall.
The Wall runs into a boot in the corner.
Flair chops away and struts some.
The Wall boots him.
David Flair gets sent over the top rope.
Major Gunns and Hancock are yelling at each other outside of the ring.
David Flair goes to hit The Wall with a chair but The Wall punches the chair into David's face.
Ouch. And I'm saying ouch to The Wall punching the chair on that one.
Wall sets a table up in the ring.
David Flair then shoulderblocks him in the stomach and jumps off the top rope.
The Wall catches him in a chokeslam.
Right through the table David Flair goes.
Bye bye. The Wall covers for the win at around two minutes.
It certainly wasn't horrible, but it wasn't good.

The Nitro Girls are talking in the back. A guy with just a ponytail on the back of his head (He's been on Worldwide before and just like Cubs Fan a few weeks ago, I'm stumped for his name) comes up to Cyren or whatever her name is (the red head) and asks her where she was on Monday. She says she was just with the girls. Shane Douglas then comes up and says he'll tell him where she was. Shane and the guy go off and talk. The guy yells and Nitro Girls run away.
Skip Over is then shown in his locker room. Skip gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says that he'll make it happen.
As Vampiro tapes himself up, Jarrett talks about the match saying that it's as important for him as it is for himself. Ohh, yeah. Forgot to mention. The main event is a eight-man elimination match. Who's in it? Stay tuned because I plum forgot.
Three Count are then shown talking, Evan on crutches. Tank comes in and says he wrote a great new song and they have to go record it while they still have their record contract.

Billy Kidman vs. "Primetime Player" Elix Skipper

M.I. Smooth came up with Skip Over's new name. I still think the Elix first name just doesn't sound right for a professional wrestler.
Billy Kidman baseball slides Elix Skipper before he gets in the ring.
In the ring, Skipper goes to bash Kidman's head into the turnbuckle (Kidman is on the apron). Kidman blocks it and sends Skipper's head into the turnbuckle.
Kidman springboards in a spinning headscissors.
Back suplex by Kidman.
Skipper ducks a clothesline then avoids a crossbody by bending himself backwards type move.
Kidman backdrops Skipper to the outside. When he does, though, Skipper drops Kidman on the top rope.
Skipper crossbodies in with a spinning headscissors.
Skipper does a little dance.
Skipper jumps off the top rope. Kidman dropkicks him in the face.
Our Patron Saint thinks the ponytailed guy is the Magnolian Stomper.
Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson come out to the aisle.
Tony says that his name is Reno.
God damn it Tony. Our Patron Saint is always right. And if I hear anyone of you punks, Aldo and Cubs Fan in particular, disagree with Our Patron Saint and call him "Reno" well, I'll just have to get really mad and Slapjack yo' ass.
Kidman goes under, then over Skipper and executes a short powerbomb.
The Magnolian Stomper then runs into the ring and executes some weird swinging move that looked really good.
Torrie Wilson is distracting the ref at this time.
Shane Douglas and The Magnolian Stomper then leave.
Elix executes a move similar to The Rocker Dropper, which he calls The Overdrive. Elix covers for the win at around two minutes.
Our Patron Saint thinks that Kidman started this whole thing.

The Cat is talking to Mike Awesome and his fat lady in The Cat's room. All that happens is Awesome asks about his title shot at NB Rising and The Cat says he'll get it, even against the Cat himself.
Shane Douglas gives The Magnolian Stomper a handshake and he leaves. Shane then runs into Judy Bagwell and calls her a redneck ho. Bagwell attacks Shane from behind and security grabs onto Buff. Shane pounds on Buff. Security separates the both of them.

Sean Stasiak vs. Sean O' Haire

I'm actually real high on The Perfect Event. I like these two. They should have kept their joker gimmick.
Jindrak and O' Haire. I don't like these two. Very good athletes but they have no real gimmick.
16:00
Chuck Palumbo sits down at the announce booth.
In the ring, action is going but we cut to the announce booth.
Our Patron Saint calls Jindrak over to commentate but Palumbo says that headset is broken (He broke it).
In the ring, O' Haire superkicks Stasiak.
Stasiak backs off into the corner.
O' Haire runs at him and Stasiak throws him to the mat.
Our Patron Saint thinks The Perfect Event doesn't have a chance.
Stasiak chokes O' Haire on the top rope.
Stasiak drops him down with Tony's answer to any move, a sidewalk slam.
Jumping back elbow from Stasiak.
Our Patron Saint: "He sits around and prances around like a six year old in ballerina class."
Our Patron Saint, what a comedian.
O' Haire blocks a suplex and executes one of his own.
Palumbo says that blue and orange put together is what Jindrak and O' Haire are. Green.
Stasiak clotheslines O' Haire.
Stasiak goes for a Spicolli Driver but Jindrak gets out of it and executes a DDT. Sean covers for a two count.
O' Haire ducks a clothesline and nails one of his own.
Scoop slam and boot to the chest by Sean.
Stasiak ducks him and sends him through the middle of the ring ropes.
Stasiak pounds on him some more as Palumbo calls for the use of the Lex Flexxor.
Stasiak lays O' Haire on the announce table for Palumbo to hit him with the Flexxor.
Our Patron Saint grabs Palumbo by the hair and makes him sit down!
Yeah. Our Patron Saint should have played Shaft in that movie. He's one bad MOFO.
Palumbo goes to nail Our Patron Saint but that bad MOFO that he is, he knocks Palumbo down.
In the ring Stasiak executes The Perfect Plex (Tony calls it a Northern Lights) for a two count.
Tony: "Hey, I thought you were going to be cool."
Our Patron Saint: "Hey man, that was cool."
Tenay: "Can't deny that. He is cool."
Palumbo calls for the camera to get out of his face.
Stasiak knocks Jindrak off the apron.
O' Haire then does his moonsault from the top rope landing on his feet thing.
Spin kick from Sean.
There's the Seanton Bomb for the win at around five minutes.
Our Patron Saint is one bad MOFO.
Hey, look, it's not raining out anymore.

Gene Okerlund, wearing a neck brace, talks to Buff and Judy. Buff says that Kanyon should look in an escort service for his own Kimberly. He and Gene laugh a lot and I don't know why. Buff asks for Shane in a match if he's up for it after last week, he laughs again. I don't. Judy Bagwell then does a promo on Shane and Torrie using ass, shit, and bitch. Woah! Big mouth on an old woman. Gene: "What a mouth on that battleax."
Lance Storm is walking and getting some water.
Booker T is getting ready in the back.
Kronic and Sting are talking. Sting says he'll talk to him about wrestling tonight.

WCW Saskatchewan International Hardcore Champion Lance Storm vs. Backyard Wrestling Champion Norman Smiley

Big Vito makes his way down to the ring to join for commentary. Vito shakes the announcer's hands, including Our Patron Saint.
Storm has changed the Hardcore Title to the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title.
A big Canadian flag is hanging over some the ring.
Lance has the Canadian National Anthem played.
Our Patron Saint tells him not to get up as Big Vito tells Tony that he's an Italian, not a Canadian.
Norman Smiley, holding a USA Flag even though he's English, without Ralphus, makes his way down to the ring.
Remember when Norman Smiley pinned that fifteen year old kid for the Backyard Wrestling Title. Well, I still recognize him as a champion.
The Canadian Rule Book states that the title is to be defended without any outside objects and can only be won by submission.
Norman dances a little bit.
Lance and Norman exchange some wristlocks.
Smiley slowly rolls out of it and sunset flips him over for a two count.
They both go for pin another two times but they both kick out.
Lance jawbreakers Norman, then dropkicks him.
Norman reveres a suplex.
Norman executes a leglock type move but Lance grabs the ropes.
Storm catches Smiley's arm and backslides him for a one count.
Smiley with a double underhook type slam.
Lance Storm gets his knees up as Norman tries to splash Storm.
Norman powerslams Lance.
Norman goes for The Big Wiggle but Lance knocks him down.
Smiley then gains the advantage and spanks Lance a little bit.
Lance goes into the corner and Smiley takes time out to dance.
Norman runs right into a boot from Storm.
Norman hits the ref by accident.
Storm hits Smiley in the knee with the flag.
Canadian Maple Leaf by Storm. Smiley submits to give Storm the win around four minutes.
Storm keeps the move on.
Big Vito then runs into the ring, chasing Lance Storm away.

Gene Okerlund talks to Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson. Shane says that he'll Franchise Buff's ass and that Torrie is on Judy's ass. Torrie says that she does all her best work with her man and that if she doesn't keep her distance, she'll sue her. Shane then says that just like Bagwell tonight, Kidman will get his ass Franchised.

Shane Douglas (w/Torrie Wilson) vs. Buff Bagwell (w/Judy Bagwell)

Shane Douglas pounds on Bagwell to start off.
Bagwell ducks a clothesline and swinging neckbreakers him.
10 punches in the corner from Bagwell.
Shane Douglas runs into an elbow in the corner.
Vader bomb from Bagwell.
Torrie trips Bagwell and Shane atomic drops Bagwell.
Shane follows it up with a clothesline.
Three snap suplexes from Shane. Shane then pulls him up again and executes a regular suplex.
Bagwell gets the advantage and pounds away.
Shane Douglas gets a surprising powerslam in for a two count.
Pittsburgh Plunge from Douglas and Bagwell kicks out.
Torrie Wilson slides a chair and Judy and her fight each other on the apron.
Billy Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Douglas' face.
Judy knocks Torrie off the apron.
Buff Blockbuster. Buff covers for the win at around three minutes and forty-five seconds.
As Buff leaves the ring, Torrie jumps Judy.
Chris Kanyon then attacks Judy on the outside.
Violence against women! Cut to Bagwell and Kanyon as the announcers freak out.
Kanyon sends Buff into the ring.
Ouch! They had the chair set up and Kanyon executed a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair.
Mike Awesome runs into the ring to make the save.
Our Patron Saint thinks Buff needs medical attention.

Buff Bagwell tries to get off the gurney as he is about to be loaded in the hospital truck. Mike Awesome tells him that he'll take care of it, slipping in somewhere that Judy's good lookinge.
Sting tells Booker T that he doesn't have to do this. Booker T has to do this for the people and that he has a chance to take that sucka' out of the game.
The Vince Russo shoot interview was supposed to be shown right now. But, typical of WCW, "WCW Management" will not allow it to played tonight. OK, I believe you WCW. We then cut to another set of commercials.

Mike Awesome (w/fat chick) vs. "Positively" Kanyon

Mike Awesome: "You know who I am and you know who I want. If you're pleasantly plump and large and in charge the Fat Chick Thriller is here to give you an ol' dose of Vitamin P. And the P stands for passion baby. So if anyone calls you fat, be proud, because as far as I'm concerned you're just bursting at the seems with love."
Awesome then calls Judy Bagwell lovely, and says that Kanyon needs to get his ass down to the ring.
Awesome shoulderblocks.
Awesome blocks a hiptoss, misses a clothesline, and gets a boot to the stomach.
Awesome holds onto the ropes as he gets sent off and Kanyon boot hits nothing but air.
Big clothesline from Awesome.
Awesome drops a legdrop for the two count.
Shoulderblocks into the stomach and Awesome splashes Kanyon.
Awesome punches him a few times in the corner but gets low blowed.
Kanyon then drops Awesome down head first.
Two count from Kanyon.
Our Patron Saint says that he's been through a lot of books here in WCW.
Kanyon goes to hit Awesome with a chair but Charles Robinson takes it away.
Kanyon, though, is still able to be able to pick Awesome up and drop him down for a two count.
Kanyon is mad and almost punches Robinson in the corner when Awesome rolls him up for the two count.
Kanyon runs into a boot in the corner.
Kanyon catches Awesome going to the top rope.
Kanyon then drops him down with a reverse Kanyon Cutter (with his head facing up instead of down) that looked pretty good.
Kanyon covers for a two count.
Our Patron Saint: "Why is he spending so much time jacking with the ref?"
Kanyon decks Charles Robinson.
Kanyon then goes to the outside and Kanyon Cuts a WCW photographer.
Kanyon asks Our Patron Saint if he wants one, then gives Kanyon Cutters to two more members of security.
Kanyon goes back the first one and pounds on him.
Judy Bagwell then comes down to the ring with a book and beats on Kanyon with it as it has a brick in it.
Judy sends Kanyon in and Mike Awesome drops him down with an Awesome Bomb. Awesome covers and he gets the win at around four minutes.

Lance Storm is getting water and The Cat is walking.

WCW Canadian Champion Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Mr. Stern Face seems tired.
Storm takes the microphone and says that he wants to get this in one more time and we have the Canadian National Anthem.
The Cat then stops the music and tells him the only sound the people are going to hear is him whipping Storm's ass.
The Cat and Lance brawl around with The Cat hitting a nice kick that sends Lance to the outside of the ring.
Lance Storm comes back at The Cat in the ring with some punches.
The Cat gains the advantage and executes five punches in the corner.
Storm then atomic drops and dropkicks The Cat for a two count.
The Cat low blows Lance Storm.
The Cat sends Lance's head into the turnbuckle a couple times and sends Lance off the ropes.
Lance goes for a sunset flip but The Cat does a little dance with a crotch chop in there and knocks Lance off of him.
The Cat then does the dancing elbow for a two count.
The Cat throws Storm to the outside of the ring.
Storm reverses a whip into the guardrail and Storm executes a standing sidekick.
There's that sweet springboard dropkick from Lance Storm for a two count.
Our Patron Saint thinks The Cat is out of shape and it's showing in this match.
The Cat then sends Lance into the ropes and follows it up with a spinkick, which knocks the ref out when Storm gets hit.
The Cat covers, but The Great Muta is in the ring now.
The Cat and Muta exchange kicks and Muta executes a dragonscrew legwhip to The Cat that looked DEVASTATING.
Lance Storm then locks on the Canadian Maple Leaf and The Cat taps to give Lance the win at around four minutes.

Gene Okerlund is with Sting, Booker T, and Kronic. Booker T says that their opponents are playa haters. It's worth his while if he gets his hands on Jarrett. Adams then says that they'll be spitting teeth. Sting then talks and the crowd is still huge on this guy. Sting says nothing of worth besides that he didn't get burnt.

For no reason other then a time filler we get a two minute long promo for the Major Gunns vs. Hancock ROTC match.
Somewhere, dark Vampiro tells The Demon that at NB Rising he doesn't have his back and that he has to beat him on his own. Vampiro tells Jarrett to just mind his own business and says something about Lotus and Juggaglos. Muta is also with them.
Gene talks with Jarrett. Jarrett calls him a Brokeneck Slapnut and says nothing of interest to me.
Kronic, Sting, and Booker T are you know, walking.

Eight-Man Elimination Match: Booker T, Sting, and Kronic vs. The Great Muta, Vampiro, The Demon, and Jeff Jarrett

Booker T, Sting, Kronic, The Freaks In Paint, and Jarrett all make separate entrances.
It really kind of added positively to the atmosphere.
All eight wrestlers brawl around.
Booker T and Jarrett are the only ones left in the ring after the others go to the outside.
Harlem Sidekick from Booker T. He goes for the kick again but Jarrett rolls to the outside.
Muta then runs in and attacks Booker T.
On the outside Jarrett sends one of Kronic's heads into the steps.
Adams comes into the ring and full nelson slams Muta.
Adams then runs over Vampiro with a clothesline.
Kronic execute High Time on Muta.
Adams covers and Muta is eliminated at around one minute, twenty seconds.
The Demon dropkicks Adams out of the ring.
They're all brawling outside of the ring.
The Cat runs out and chokes Muta with a belt as he's leaving ringside.
Kronic go to High Time Demon through the announce table but Jarrett stops them.
The ref stops them from doing it to Jarrett.
Kronic then High Time the ref through the table!
Mark Johnson hs disqualified Kronic. They were eliminated at around three minutes, ten seconds.
All three heels pound on Sting in the ring as Mark Johnson restores order in the ring.
Jarrett and Sting are the legal men now.
Jarrett drops a leg on Sting as he's set up on the middle rope.
The Demon gets tagged in and he beats on Sting.
Nice sidekick to the stomach from The Demon.
Vampiro comes into the ring and goes to work. Sting reveres a whip into the corner and they both clothesline each other.
Sting then makes the hot tag to Booker T.
Booker T beat the hell out of Vampiro and The Demon.
Booker T axe kicks The Demon.
Our Patron Saint: "Spinnerooni!"
Booker T then sets Jarrett up for the Book End but The Demon knocks him.
Jarrett then runs up the ramp.
Sting then escapes a Vampiro Spike and at the same time Booker T sets The Demon up for the Book End. Sting Scorpion Death Drops Vampiro and at the same time Booker T slams him down with the Book End to eliminate The Freaks In Paint and give them the win at around six minutes.
Jarrett taunts Booker T from the apron as they stare at each other. We then go to black.

The Good: The Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett feud is really heating up. While the wrestling wasn't wonderful tonight, the show was still very nicely booked and Johnny Ace is doing wonderful with booking finishes. Our Patron Saint is commentating right now.
The Bad: I'm tired.
The Ugly: Judy Bagwell. Sorry Mike, can't agree with you on this one.

WCW Thunder - Wednesday, August 2, 2000

By Greg of the M.E.W TNM Circuit (Hey, that other page ain't that great no more)

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