WCW Thunder - August 23, 2000

By Greg of

Barney and his little slaves can raise da' roof. Can you?

As you can see, I have a new banner for the M.E.W site. It comes courtesy of Rob Goldberg and his girlfriend Erin Geoghegan. Thanks Rob!
I feel kind of sad. Next week will be one of my last reports I ever do with DDT Digest. I'll still be capturing pictures but from the looks of it, I won't be reporting for the site. But, because you all love me, I'll try to strike a deal with the new Thunder reporter to get to write the Thunder report over Thanksgiving/Christmas vacation.
Why weren't there pictures for the Nitro report? Well, I was tired on Monday night as I had spent the whole day working at a video store, then working out at the gym more then a I usually do the other five days I go a week. I decided I'd do the pictures at about 9:00 AM. Well, I get up at 9:00, just about to begin when I get a call from the video store saying that no one can open the store. So low and behold, I get chosen out of the other eight employees to grab a ride there, and open the store.
To start the show off Chuck Palumbo comes into The Cat's office, telling him that he wants to be in the main event. The Cat tells him to get Kevin Nash and face Booker T and whoever he wants in the main event. The Cat also adds in that it won't be him even though he'd love to kick Palumbo's ass. The Cat's new girl gives Palumbo a contract. She tells The Cat she's got something taken care of.

Kwee-Wee (w/Paisley) vs. Corporal Cajun (w/Midcarders In Action)

Paisley goes to the announce booth. I don't want to hear her.
Cajun puts a beating to Allan Funk, I mean Kwee-Wee, for a little bit.
Kwee-Wee sends Cajun into the opposite corner. Cajun jumps off the second rope but Kwee-Wee catches him, dropping him down with a power bomb for a two count.
Kwee-Wee pounds on Cajun with some fists as he's down on the ground.
Funk with a bodyslam. Two count.
As Kwee-Wee's occupied mouthing off to the Midcarders, Cajun gains the advantage for a short time.
Kwee-Wee reverses a whip into the corner, sending him in very hard.
Kwee-Wee executes a camel clutch.
Cajun gets out, then misses an elbowdrop.
Kwee-Wee misses with a flying legdrop.
God damn it, we have an interview with Steiner's hoochie tonight.
Kwee-Wee and Cajun trade punches.
Cajun ducks a clothesline, then punches him some more with those annoying as f*** Road Dog type punches.
Cajun clotheslines Kwee-Wee down for a two count.
To the outside of the ring Rection takes a chair away from Kwee-Wee. The Midcarders have to hold back Loco from jumping him.
Back in the ring, Cajun backdrops Kwee-Wee to the outside.
Cajun jumps off with a double axhandle.
Cajun sends Kwee-Wee into the guardrail.
Paisley slaps Cajun.
Paisley: "I'm standing up for my man."
Tony: "I'm with you girl. I know."
Ummm......
From the ring apron Cajun brings Kwee-Wee into the ring with a brainbuster type move. He gets a two count.
Cajun with a belly-to-belly for a two.
Kwee-Wee and Cajun both go over each other.
Cajun hits a back suplex slam move for a two count.
Cajun goes for a spinning headscissors but Kwee-Wee slams Loco down hard.
Kwee-Wee covers for the win at around five minutes, forty seconds.
Decent enough match.
Major Gunns and Paisley get into a mini-catfight. It gets broken up.

Kevin Nash is doing the usual.
Backstage Major Gunns and Paisley are still fighting and screaming. They issue a challenge to each other for later on in the night as their men hold them back.
Ms. Jones comes up to Storm and Elix Skipper. She gives him a contract for a three-way match for the US Title between him, General Rection, and Mike Awesome. Storm says he doesn't defend the belt on US soil. Elix and Ms. Jones argue for a bit. She leaves.
The Natural Born Thrillers make their way to the ring

Sanders basically says a whole lot of nothing to start the interview off.
Sanders says they're the genetically jacked freaks.
Sanders says he asked himself some questions.
Calling himself "self," he asks why Palumbo isn't the Heavyweight Champion, why Jindrak/O' Haire aren't the Tag Champions. He then answered his question by saying that on Monday they came so close.
Sanders does the whole good looking thing, says however twice, and says that they're here to stay.
The Filthy Animals come out.
Konnan calls Sanders and the other five (bleeps).
Konnan says that when Sanders said Oklahoma was very small in the beginning of the interview, he also knows something that's around that size.
Disco takes the microphone and asks them if it's genetically jackasses.
Sanders corrects him.
Disco challenges him one on one.
From behind Big Vito comes in with his stick.
He gives Reno a Russian legsweep using the cane.
Vito goes to work on the Thrillers for a bit until they get the best of him.
The Filthy Animals run down and a brawl ensues.
As we go to commercial, The Filthy Animals and Vito stand victorious in the ring.

Booker T checks on Big Vito's condition in the back. Booker asks Big Vito if he wants to be his partner. Vito says he'll be the partner.
Sanders is in The Cat's room. Sanders says that Disco was saying that The Cat couldn't kick his way out of a paper bag, that The Cat would never be the greatest because he doesn't have it, and that James Brown was the worst singer ever. The Cat gets up mad. Sanders asks for a match where if Disco loses, then he's out of WCW. The Cat says that Disco was at the James Brown concert last week. And as much as he hates Disco, he can't be released because he has a clause in his contract like that.
Yes! Crowbar is holding some flowers, and begins to practice to ask Daffney out. Daffney, who looks very good tonight, comes in very happy. Daffney gives Crowbar a kiss on the cheek because she's so damn happy. She says she and her secret admirer went out last night and that he'll be there tonight. She discovers the flowers and asked who they're for. Crowbar gives the flowers to her and says that the guy must have sent them. Daffney leaves and Crowbar is sad. Damn, I hope Crowbar becomes a Main Eventer one day.

Handicapped Match: The Harris Brothers vs. The Jung Dragons

Tony accidentally calls Chuck Palumbo, Plaumbi.
They're going to job The Jung Dragons to these helpless losers.
(Let's call him) Ron destroys Yang to start.
Yang dropkicks Ron to no effect.
Kaz runs in and jumps off the second rope with a kick to the head that Ron sells.
Jamisan goes off with a top rope legdrop. Don makes the save.
Ron with a big boot to Jamisan.
All three members of Jung Dragons get beat up by The Harris Boys.
One of them sends Kaz right into a chairshot from the other.
Let's call him Don knocks Jamisan out.
H-Bomb to Jamisan.
H-Bomb to Yang.
Let's call him Don makes the pin to win the match at around two minutes.
H-Bomb to Kaz.
Kronic makes their way out.
Our Patron Saint: "It's on like Donkey Kong now."
Kronic brawls with The Harris Boys all over the crowd.
Tony: "We want to see these two teams go at it."
I guess "we" doesn't include me.
Woah! Leia Meow comes down to the ring.
She talks to The Jung Dragons, and they follow her to the back.
Damn, she looks good.

If I ever go to a WCW event, remind me never to look like these two goofs.
Storm talks to Skipper. Skipper says that he has his back and it's all about the "Benjis." God, this kid sounds horrible.
Smooth talks to the WCW Hardcore Champion. Basically, Smooth says that they'll have a Hardcore I Quit Match. And right away Norman will say "I Quit." They can then get their groove thing on.

Crowbar (w/a great looking Daffney) vs. Reno

Daffney looks like she lost a lot of weight or something. Maybe it's just the clothes she's wearing.
Crowbar is really down as he makes his way to the ring.
Daffney is the complete opposite.
Reno pounds away on Crowbar, who isn't that focused.
Crowbar retaliates with a dropkick, a clothesline, and a bodyslam.
Crowbar drops a leg to the jewels.
Crowbar with a slingshot legdrop.
Crowbar jumps over Reno in the corner.
Reno, though, executes a cool looking leg-over-head fallaway type suplex.
Reno twists Crowbar's arm, then drops him down for a two count.
Reno twists Crowbar's arm and brings it under his crotch, then picks him up and drops him with a back suplex for a two count.
Reno drops a knee.
Crowbar drops down with a jawbreaker.
Crowbar kicks Reno in the corner.
Ohh Jeez Mother Of F***ing Hell. We're going to have a wedding September 11^th on Nitro with Hancock and David Flair.
He hasn't even proposed to her right yet.
Reno turns Crowbar around, sending him into the ropes, then does another cool looking suplex.
Crowbar with some chops.
Reno ducks under, and does a sit-down dropkick.
Reno runs into the ropes and Crowbar pulls the ropes down, sending Reno to the outside.
Crowbar goes over, hanging onto the ropes, and kicks Reno. He does a Shawn Michaels Royal Rumble '95 move by flipping himself back in the ring.
Crowbar goes over the top rope with a slingshot somersault plancha.
Crowbar does a Vader Bomb from the guardrail.
Crowbar slingshots himself in and onto Reno.
Lionsault onto Reno for a two count.
Spicolli Driver from Crowbar for a two count.
Holy crap! A guy that looks just like Crowbar comes down to the ring in clothes similar to those that Jim Duggan wore back in '93 when his gut was too damn big to show.
Daffeny runs up and gives him a hug.
Crowbar can't believe it. He's taken his eyes off the match.
Reno runs up to Crowbar, who back elbows him.
Daffney and the guy are close on the outside.
In the ring Reno sneaks out a move from Crowbar and hits the Roll The Dice for the win at around seven minutes.
Reno continues to pound on Crowbar but the Crowbar look-a-like makes the save.
As we go to commercial. Tony brings up the fact that Crowbar came from a gas station.
A pretty good seven minute match, Daffney's new love interest is a nice touch, and it brought both wrestlers up pretty nicely.

Palumbo/Nash are TALKING. Nash says he doesn't care about the match. Nash tells him to take out Booker T. Booker T and Big Vito do the same, and decide to play some competitive stick ball.
Lt. Loco comes into The Cat's office. Loco first goes to check a Magic 8-Ball, asking if he has more money then The Cat. The Cat takes the ball away. Loco wants the match to be for Disco's career but it can't happen because of his contract. The Cat then has his women take him away. Loco's response: "Get your big hands off me girl." Hah!
Tank fires Three Count in the locker room, saying they made a career out of making him look bad. Tank says he's going to keep the record contract. But they still have one more obligation to fill and that's taking on The Dark Carnival tonight. Tank tells them not to make him look bad. If they do, it will be hazardous to their health.
Tenay talks to Midajah

Lying on a bed with a neck brace on, Midajah looks like a hooker that got beat up by her pimp.
They start off with a whole lot of nothing with Midajah talking about her background.
Eventually they get into a thing where she keeps on saying that she didn't want to collect a paycheck from Playboy for sitting at home, taking off her clothes.
Tenay brings up that she is a five foot tall, one hundred pound women in a man's wrestling world.
She goes through a whole spiel about it not being a man's wrestling world.
Tenay says he's heard it all before, "I am woman, hear me roar."
The beaten up hooker talks about how when Scott Steiner jumped him a few weeks ago, it was her that saved him.
Tenay tells her that she got Scott Steiner off of him because she wanted to prevent the fines Steiner would get.
Midajah says that the interview is over.
Tenay leaves, wishing her luck, saying that she'll need it.
She calls him a jerk as we go to commercial.
Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It was kind of humorous to have Tenay be sarcastic and stuff.

Vito and Booker T are paying some stick ball in the back with really bad sound quality. The Natural Born Thrillers jump the two of them. Vito and Booker T take care of them.
Norman Smiley is walking through the back saying that he's so happy that there will be no more hardcore matches. He runs into the Dark Carnival. Muta knocks him down. As the four of them leave Violent J laughs at Norman.

Three Count and Tank Abbott vs. The Dark Carnival

Tank takes Three Count's circles and throws them outside the ring. He kicks them out of the ring.
Tank, on his green square, then sings his song without any backup.
The name of the song is "Nothing But A Tank Thang."
God, Tank sings really bad.
The Dark Carnival comes down to the ring.
The Dark Carnival's theme is actually the beginning of an ICP song minus the lyrics which are, "Wicked clowns, wicked clowns, don't f*** with me." It goes on from there.
Hey, I'm a big fan of ICP's music.
Also, JCW doesn't stand for Juggalo ChampionSHIP wrestling. It's ChampionS***. Seriously, that's how they promoted their cards.
LOL! Our Patron Saint is asking how these guys can be taken seriously if they take old women out on dates. He says they said they called themselves gigolos.
If you listen to ICP music, you'd know their women fat, not old.
I gotta quit with the ICP facts.
Tank is in another corner, as he won't stand with Three Count.
Muta and Helms start off.
Muta with some kicks, and drops an elbow which barely connects.
Vampiro comes in and power bombs Helms hard and far.
Karagias comes in and dropkicks Vampiro.
Karagias catches Vampiro's leg. With the other leg Vampiro kicks Karagias in the head.
Two count only when Three Count makes the save.
Evan dropkicks Vampiro out of the ring.
Karagias goes over and onto Vampiro.
Shane and Shannon give ICP facebusters.
Mickey J gets the green mist in the eyes from Muta.
Vampiro gives Karagias the Nail In The Coffin.
Violent J with a nice fallaway slam.
Shaggy 2 Dope goes off with a flying legdrop.
Tank runs in and right hands Shaggy.
Muta gets the ring hand.
Vampiro gets one also.
Three Count run in with baseball bats and beat Tank down.
Muta with The Moonsault.
The ref makes the three count to give The Dark Carnival the win at around three minutes.
Kind of a sloppy match but in the end Three Count will be getting out of the boy band gimmick, which even though I like has grown thin lately.

Skipper talks on his cell phone. Skipper says that with the money they offered Awesome, it will be Storm and Awesome against Rection tonight. Behind the door comes General Rection, who isn't happy.
Big Vito and Booker T say nothing special.
Gene Okerlund is with Paisley and Kwee-Wee. Paisley says she doesn't have time for Gene's (bleep). Paisley says it's females like Major Gunns that make females like her look bad. She challenges her to a match where MIA is banned from ringside.

WCW Hardcore Title I Quit Match: Smooth vs. Norman Smiley

Smooth has some weird music.
Norman is holding his throat from the attack.
Ohh, I get it. He can't speak.
Smiley lays down and can't say it.
Smooth fake hits him with a couple of weapons and Norman can't say it.
Smooth loses his patience and beats on Smiley.
Clothesline to Norman.
Smooth drops him down.
Smiley still can't talk.
I like this. It's pretty funny.
Smiley low blows Smooth with the Singapore cane.
Smiley dances and Smooth hits him with the trashcan.
Smooth misses a splash in the corner.
Smiley with a couple trashcan shots.
Smooth hits a clothesline.
Smooth takes off his jacket, to reveal a wifebeater.
Clothesline to Norman.
This has been going on for four minutes. Way too long for this.
Smooth with a splash.
Smooth with a butt splash.
Smooth keeps on telling him to say "I Quit."
The ref then awards the match to Smiley because Smooth said "I Quit." Hah!
Smiley wins the match at around four and a half minutes.
Smooth sends Smiley off the top rope.
Smiley runs away.

Once again Skipper is talking on his cell phone. Skipper says that once he gave him all the money, Rection was in his pocket. Awesome then comes out of the room and he's mad.
Gene Okerlund comes into The Cat's office and says that he wants Disco gone. Gene gives The Cat a year supply of Viagra. The Cat says he doesn't need it. Gene then gives him a few hundreds but Cat tells him to get his ass out of his office.
At the announce booth, Tygress has joined. Tenay says that while some women can be in the ring, her true spot is on the arm of Scott Steiner. Tygress says she's there for her man's match. Tony informs her she came out during the wrong match. Tony tells her she can stay at the announce booth, being horny in the process.

Major Gunns vs. Paisley

Who cares?
They brawl for a bit.
Handspring back elbow for Paisley.
Major Gunns and Paisley do some more crap.
Bodyslam from Major Gunns.
Tygress gets up on the ring apron.
Tygress slaps Major Gunns.
Paisley rolls Major Gunns up for the win at around one minute, forty seconds.
Paisley and Tygress retreat to the back, celebrating.
Who cares?
I guess you can call that a bunch of crap wedged in between "Who cares?"

A closeup of The Cat is shown with him saying that he can't get rid of Disco. The Filthy Animals, minus Tygress and Disco, get up and leave disappointed. They leave and run into Jimmy Hart, who is backed by tons of WCW employees. Jimmy asks and there's been no luck in the situation.
Skipper comes up to Lance Storm and tells him that they'll be so busy beating the hell out of each other, Lance can just sit around and wait.

Mike Sanders vs. Disco Inferno

Disco tells The Filthy Animals to go the back.
Disco attacks Sanders.
Back elbow, elbow drop, and then he sends Sanders to the outside.
Disco sends Sanders into the guardrail.
Disco is serious right now.
Disco sends Sanders into another guardrail.
Neckbreaker from Disco.
Sanders hotshots Disco on the top rope. Disco goes flying to the outside.
Sanders sends Disco back. He covers for a two count.
Sanders kicks Disco in the head.
Sanders drops a knee.
Two count only from Sanders.
Sanders with the arm in the crotch suplex.
Sanders puts some more boots to Disco for a two count.
Disco comes back.
Disco with an atomic drop.
Disco goes for a Russian legsweep but Sanders blocks it. Disco rolls him for a two count.
After blocking the move a few a times, Disco executes The Last Dance.
The Natural Born Thrillers come out and bring The FA to the back (who were watching from the ramp).
Disco covers for a two count.
Disco executes a DDT with the same result.
Disco goes for the same move but Sanders executes the combination neckbreaker/backbreaker move. Sanders covers for the win at around four minutes.

Chuck Palumbo is talking to Pamela Paulshock. Nash runs in and tells Palumbo that he shouldn't have sent a bunch of green guys do to the job. Nash leaves, pissed.

WCW Canadian Title Match: Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome vs. General Rection

Storm says that he may have misjudged America.
He said that he saw some of the political campaigning last week.
Al Gore spoke of safety in school, getting guns off the street, and universal healthcare, things they already have in Canada.
That's when he realized the true American dream is to become Canada.
Storm says to renounce their US Citizenship.
Storm says they could use an eleventh province.
Storm says to rise for their National Anthem.
The Anthem plays. It's interrupted by the Midcarders In Action's music.
Rection makes his way down to the ring, grasping an America bandanna.
Awesome and Rection argue.
Awesome and Rection both hit Lance Storm.
They didn't fall for it.
Rection and Awesome both clothesline Storm.
Awesome slams Storm.
Awesome with an Awesome Splash to Storm as Rection holds Storm.
Rection with a top rope elbow to Storm as Awesome holds Storm.
Inverted Drop to Storm from Awesome.
Awesome with an awesome power bomb.
Awesome and Rection taunt an out of it Storm.
Rection runs into a boot from Storm. Awesome runs into a back elbow.
Storm goes for a double whip but they send Storm right into the ref.
Skipper is out now and he's got the ring on.
Skipper pulls the top rope down, sending Awesome to the outside of the ring.
Skipper gets pulled into the ring by Rection.
Skipper hits Rection with the ring.
Storm executes the Canadian Maple Leaf as Skipper holds Awesome on the outside.
The ref awakens and since Rection is out, awards the match to Storm at around three minutes, fifteen seconds.
At the announce booth Our Patron Saint leaves, saying he can't stay out here with his brother in the match.
No Stevie Ray at the announce booth? I don't think I can watch the main event now.

Booker T and Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo and Kevin Nash

Unfortunately, I'm in a hurry at this point and there won't be play-by-play for this match.
Basically Jarrett did commentating.
After seven minutes of action Jarrett jumped Booker T at ringside.
And the Natural Born Thrillers came in and pounded Big Vito.
Jarrett and Nash go to work on Booker T's injured knee with a chair as we fade away.

The Good: Crowbar vs. Reno was good along with the stuff after the match, The Natural Born Thrillers are coming along very nicely, and Lance Storm continues to be great in the ring.
The Bad: Major Gunns vs. Paisley sucked, Smooth vs. Norman lasted to long, and the Handicapped Match was crap.
The Ugly: Kwee-Wee for I think a third week. Congratulations.

Matt S., the unofficial DDT Digest Dentist, sends the following arena report:

Good morning from Tulsa, OK. I attended last night's Thunder tapings at the downtown convention center. This is the same convention center that sold out all regular season arena football games, and almost every minor league hockey game.
They roped off ¹/₃ of the arena for production area. The remaining seats were only ¹/₂ full at best. I was sitting in the upper area and everyone around me was asked to move so the camera would show a full arena. I estimate the crowd to be almost 2500 and not all of those paid.
A promising note is that during the worldwide tapings a young wrestler, I couldn't catch the name, 6'0'' about 210 lbs, dark hair, caucasian, wrestled Elix and put on a great match. Unfortunately, DJ Ran was all up in our area. The Nitro Girls were not taped for TV to my knowledge. Their skits have become more risqu� than in the past, including two dancing very close together in a cage.
Biggest disappointment of the night was no Goldberg. Tulsa is Goldberg's hometown. Last night he was two hours north in Wichita, and he no-shows his hometown. They had been plastering his name all over the airwaves the last two weeks. So everyone was mad he didn't show in his own town.
No sight of Russo either, which makes it even weirder that they showed the skit of Russo, Goldberg, Steiner to open the show. WCW's merchandise tables looked barren, only three shirt choices and little else. Their merchandise department is pathetic, WWF's easily out does them.
If anyone has a chance, please ask the wrestlers if it affects them that the events are only sparsely attended. The local indy promotion brought in the Hardy Boys and T& A a few months ago and sold over 2000 tickets. Kind of puts the WCW to shame.

WCW Thunder - August 23, 2000

By Greg of

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