WCW Thunder - August 30^th, 2000

By Greg of M.E.W- TNM Circuit (read some cards, send opinions)

Right now I have neither the time nor the passion to say goodbye to you guys (sniff, sniff). I'm going to the beach in like four hours as I write this so I have to write this up quickly.
I will be sending Bill by goodbye message along with a few other things tomorrow night so expect it to be posted when he posts his mid-week report.
TRIVIA I NEED ANSWERED FOR THE LAST WEEK (sniff, sniff): Name the last three teams in the ring at the Battle Royal to determine the Tag Team Challengers at Wrestlemania VII. I know that Nasty Boys won, LOD was the last one eliminated, I just need that third team.
Sorry for unclipped pictures in the past two weeks but my computers had some problems. They'll probably be fixed by Nitro.
Clips from Nitro start off the show. My opinion on Nitro was that some of it sucked, but some of it was very nice like the ending to the show, Jarrett vs. Vito, and Booker T vs. Nash (Think about it people. If Nash puts Booker T over at Fall Brawl, who does it benefit? Booker T)

Lance Storm and Elix "I can't speak right" Skipper (w/~~Large Breasts~~ Major Gunns) vs. Kronic

Clips from Nitro play with Sgt. AWOL failing.
Remember, if you need something done right, don't think AWOL.
Major Gunns has a Canadian T-Shirt on, as she has been taking captive by the Canadian (along with the man that can't speak right).
Elix Skipper takes the microphone and babbles incoherently.
This is almost as bad, but not as bad, as when Sid would do ten minute segments after squashing jobbers.
Storm runs down some facts.
Fact: Every one of the fans wishes they were Canadian.
Fact: It's just a better way of life.
Fact: In time you will all learn the error of your American ways just like the women with large breasts has.
Major Gunns makes the sick sign behind Storm.
Storm tells the fans to rise for the playing of his and her new National Anthem.
During the National Anthem, Major Gunns tears off her shirt to reveal a bikini which is over some large breasts.
Storm and Skipper cover her up with the Canadian flag.
Kronic comes out to the ring.
Kronic immediately jumps Team Canada.
Storm gets sent to the outside.
Adams throws Skipper over the top rope and onto Storm.
Major Gunns doesn't care about what's happening to them.
Team Canada stalls on the outside.
Clark puts a beatin' on Skipper.
Clark hurls Skipper out of the corner.
Skipper goes under Clark, comes back with a dropkick, but then gets chokeslammed out of his head.
Adams gets tagged in.
Double clothesline by Kronic.
Big spinning backbreaker from Adams.
Adams puts Skipper in a full nelson. Skipper ducks down, allowing Storm to springboard in with a clothesline.
Clark runs into argue with the ref.
Nice double DDT from Team Canada.
Storm gets a two count.
Storm with a suplex for a two.
Skipper is tagged in.
Adams no-sells a double clothesline. Team Canada gets a clothesline from Adams.
Tag to Clark.
Clark runs in and knocks both of them down.
Meltdown to Skipper for a two count when Lance makes the save, even though he wasn't the legal man.
Adams throws Storm to the outside, who crawls around.
Kronic goes for High Time. Storm springboards in with a dropkick to Clark's head to break it up.
Storm ducks a clothesline from Adams and executes a jawbreaker.
Storm tries to pull the flag away from Major Gunns. When Gunns lets go the flag goes straight into Storm's jewels.
Full nelson slam from Adams.
High Time to Lance Storm.
Adams covers for the win at around four and a half minutes.
Our Patron Saint: "Big, big win for Kronic."
Tony: "You're not kidding a big win, Mike."
Gunns is laughing during this.
Skipper yells at Gunns which makes General Rection run down and jump the man that can't speak correctly.
Rection goes for The Raging Climax but Storm attacks him before he can.
The rest of the Midcarders In Action run down for the save.
Storm and Skipper take Major Gunns away.
All four wrestlers put quite a nice effort into the match. I liked it.

The Natural Born Thrillers meet Nash, Steiner, and Jarrett. Nash: "Come on boys, let's go have some fun. And that's a shoot."
WCW Thunder Tailgate Party crap. Buff Bagwell and Big Vito (wearing a belt) were there. Umm... Was this taped two months ago?
Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, Jeff Jarrett, and The Natural Born Thrillers make their way down to the ring.

Scott Steiner says that he wants to call Goldberg every name in the book but the corporate sponsors want a clean show so he'll just call him a lowdown S.O.B.
Steiner talks about Monday, how he got hit with a pipe in the face.
Steiner takes off his glasses to reveal his eyes, which look horrible.
Steiner says that all the doctors he went to say he shouldn't wrestle at Fall Brawl.
Scott says something that gets bleeped, probably the f-word.
Steiner says he'll prove Goldberg is no match for the Genetic Freak.
Steiner says for all the white trash to kiss his ass.
Nash says that on Monday he became the World Champ for the fifth time.
Our Patron Saint: "And no one remembers the last four."
I only remember one, his one day reign. The next day Hogan shoved him and won the title.
Nash says he didn't know why Jarrett was being so fair during the match.
But, after watching the tape Nash realized it was because Jeff didn't want to tarnish his victory.
Nash says that he never dominated an opponent more then he did to Booker T.
Nash says that over the last 40 hours he didn't win the belt for himself, he won it for the people.
Morons, they believe him and cheer.
Daffney and Ashley Hudson (the Crowbar look-a-like) boo in the crowd.
Nash is laughing.
Nash: "See, I can suck you right back in can't I? Thing is I got autograph sessions next week. You know how many kids will pay $30 to have a Polaroid taken with this? A matter of fact, after the show tonight I'll be at the Mariott. For $50, you and your kids can have a picture taken with the champ and his belt."
That was great.
Goldberg says that they can chant for Goldberg all they want, but he's out in the desert somewhere.
Behind him, and to the side of him, stands the future of the business, the Natural Born Thrillers.
Nash says that since the band's back together and they're running the "shiz-oww," tonight they'll find out if they're ready to be in the show.
Goldberg's in the desert, The Cat's in the hospital, poor ex-champion Booker T completely demoralized, who's going to stop them, asks Nash.
We cut to the back where Booker T is doing the usual.
Booker's music plays for a while, he then comes out to the top of the ramp.
Booker says he's sick to his stomach, listening to Nash spew out his crap.
Booker T has one question for Nash, do they (the group) go to the restroom together?
Booker T says that he's not the only one that has a clique in WCW.
Booker T names some wrestlers.
The Filthy Animals, Big Vito, and Awesome come out behind him.
Booker T says he's going to kick Nash's string bean ass.
Booker T finished it off by saying that they'll need to kill him and his people before they take over WCW.
They all brawl with The Natural Born Thrillers at ringside.
In the ring Booker T pounds on Nash, as Awesome takes care of the other two.
Security runs out to break it up.
This segment gets a 9.0 in my book. Nash is playing the selfish heel greatly and Booker T is just, well, that damn good (and better then that guy who got backdropped into mud).
Speaking of the match where that guy got backdropped into mud, did anyone else find Mideon running out and streaking in that other federation entertaining? I think that was the only thing I liked in the whole two hours of those other guys.

During the commercial break, backstage, Nash took over the internet booth, throwing Terry Taylor out. Nash also committed some violence against a poor format for the show. Nash tells Reno to do the ring thing, and that it starts here.
Okerlund is talking to General Rection. Rection says he wants Storm in a title match at Fall Brawl, then says some more stuff, nothing I care about. Ummm... After Storm took Major Gunns hostage, beat down Rection tonight, among other things, don't you think a title match at Fall Brawl is academic?
We are cordially invited to David Flair and Miss Hancock's wedding. I'm declining the invitation.

Reno (w/the generic jobber music) vs. Perry Saturn, whoops, same music, wrong man, Mike Awesome

Awesome with a nice German suplex.
Awesome drops a leg, only getting a two count.
Reno backdrops Awesome onto the apron.
Reno snaps Awesome's neck on the top rope.
Reno charges at Awesome. Awesome flies in with a shoulderblock for a two count.
Bodyslam from Mike.
Awesome misses a slow splash in the corner.
Reno with one of the those other forms of a suplex.
Reno pounds away on Awesome, who can barely stand up.
Reno leaves the ring and argues with Ozzy (Daffney's boyfriend).
Awesome runs out to get Reno. He ends up getting run into the ringpost by Reno.
Back to the ring, Reno goes off the top rope.
Awesome catches him and drops him with a great power bomb.
Running Awesome Bomb from Awesome.
Awesome covers for the win at around three minutes, twenty seconds.
Awesome is happy after the match. Shouldn't he be sad that his fat chick left him. Ohh, wait, forgotten gimmick that we're glad that's forgotten.
Reno pulls Ozzy over the guardrail and pounds on him. Daffney throws popcorn at Reno during all of this.
Wouldn't it have made a little bit of sense to have Reno grab Daffney but Crowbar, wearing a neck brace or something from Monday, run out and jump Reno, only to get dropped on his head once again?
The official scoreboard.
Booker T's friends: 1-0-0
Nash's friends- 0-1-0

During the commercial Jeff Jarrett beat the hell out of Mike Awesome with an array of weapons. Jimmy Hart and Fit Finlay (yippee, he's still employed, and I'm not being sarcastic) try to stop Jarrett, but to no avail.
Tony talks to Paul Orndorff

Tony is interviewing Orndorff in the ring.
Orndorff's face looks bad. The rest of him looks great, though.
Orndorff says that the Power Plant guys are like his kids and he's so proud of them.
I wonder if he's proud of horrible athletes like Adrian Byrd and Dave Burkhead.
Paul says that he's looking for the absolute best when people go to the Power Plant.
Orndorff says he needs to see how much they want it by having them do 600 push-ups.
Orndorff says that after that they'll have a Coke, then have them go through a clean up thing.
Anyone remember that Barney song?
Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share.
Orndorff says that it's a multi-million dollar complex and that people are passing through all the time.
He has the guys cleaning toilets, among other things.
Tony says that there are some out there who do.
Tony says that The Natural Born Thrillers don't respect Paul Orndorff and his efforts at the Power Plant.
Orndorff says Mike Sanders was a nobody before he met him.
Tony says Sanders called him a miserable old man.
Tony tells Orndorff that they're probably watching this right now and laughing at him.
Orndorff tells Tony that he gave all six of them jobs.
Orndorff asks how ungrateful this world is.
Orndorff says they were nobodies before they met him, they didn't know what a wristlock was, and other things.
Orndorff is pissed off and mutters the f-word.
Orndorff says that every time he tries to help people, this is what he gets.
We cut to commercial as Orndorff is fuming.
Damn, this has been a pretty damn solid show tonight.

Moments ago, during the Orndorff interview was being shown in the arena, The Natural Born Thrillers came down to the ring with signs. Palumbo's reads "Too Bad Your Best Match Was Against Vader." Hah! Jindrak's reads "Clean Your Own Damn Toilets Now." O'Haire's reads "Orndorff Equals J.O.B. (Jealous Old Bastard)." And Reno's reads "Aren't You Dead Yet?" They turn their signs around and it reads "WE RULE." Those signs were harsh.
Scott Steiner whacks Reno with a pipe for not getting the job done.
Pamela Paulshock talks to Booker T. Booker T says Nash is trying everything to get out of the Fall Brawl match. Booker T says that his knee won't pop, he guarantees it. Booker T says that tonight he'll beat Mike Sanders.

WCW Tag Team Title Match: Mark Jindrak and Sean O'Haire vs. Juventud Guerrera and Rey Misterio Jr. (w/Tygress, Konnan, and Disco)

Penzer announces that he was just told that this match, which was booked by Jarrett, Nash, and Steiner, would be for the Tag Team Titles.
For some reason the announcers can't believe this will be for the titles.
Konnan does the usual crap to start off.
O'Haire grabs the microphone and says that there are some parents who lost their children and they've got them right here.
O'Haire says that they'll make it fair by bringing Disco into the match.
O'Haire and Disco start the match off.
O'Haire with a spinning side slam.
Huge springboard clothesline from Sean.
Disco executes an atomic drop, then drops him with a bulldog.
Tag out to Juventud.
Disco drop toe holds O'Haire, Juvi drops a leg.
Tag out to Rey who springboards in with a legdrop.
Rey does some boxing punches, knocking him in the corner with the last one.
Friggin' Bronco Buster from Rey.
At least Konnan didn't call it Face Full Of Stuff this time.
Rey goes for a springboard crossbody but O'Haire catches him and executes a spinning backbreaker.
O'Haire with the tag to Jindrak.
Jindrak and O'Haire stand O'Haire behind Jindrak.
Jindrak leap frogs over Rey.
Rey runs into O'Haire, who just stands there.
Jindrak clotheslines Rey down.
Jindrak with a cocky cover for a two.
Out of a Torture Rack, O'Haire drops Rey down with a reverse neckbreaker type move for a two count when Disco makes the save.
Jindrak sends Rey to the ropes and does a dropkick, but Rey holds onto the ropes.
Juvi gets tagged in and springboards in with a kick to the face.
Reverse springboard dropkick.
Juvi escapes a hold from Jindrak and executes a bulldog.
Juvi does some punches in the corner.
Out of the corner Jindrak drops Juvi with a kind of botched power bomb.
Tag out to O'Haire.
Jindrak throws Juvi up and into a powerslam by O'Haire.
Sweet!
S&M knock Disco and Rey off the apron.
From the outside and into the ring, O'Haire and Jindrak literally hiptoss Juvi straight in.
DAMN! Juvi went flying.
O'Haire misses a splash in the corner.
Rey gets tagged in and springboards in, sending O'Haire down.
Disco twists O'Haire's arm, allowing Rey to come off with a clothesline.
Disco ducks a clothesline and gets spinkicked in the head from Sean O'Haire.
O'Haire goes for the Seanton Bomb but Juvi crotches him.
Frankensteiner from Juvi.
Rey gets tagged in.
Rey drops a leg to the cup covered jewels.
Rey covers for the win at around five and a half minutes.
Damn! What a match!
This match is thumps up all the way.
But, remember that if you're a WWF mark, you'd rather watch a twenty minute Rock interview then see the good matches put on tonight.

Backstage Nash tells Sanders that he better get the job done on Booker T. Jarrett comes in and says he booked himself in this match (hands Nash a piece of paper). Nash says that he's nuts and it could end his career. Jarrett doesn't care and says he wants the match.
S&M talks to Sanders. Sanders leaves, ready for Booker. Steiner knocks them both out with a pipe.

"Above Average" Mike Sanders vs. Booker T

Sanders: "If you think you can win it, then you come down and get in it."
By the way, that was directed at Booker T.
Booker T elbows and clotheslines Sanders.
Booker T pounds on Sanders some more.
Booker knees Sanders in the stomach, and axe kicks Sanders.
Spinnerooni, Spinner... Wait, Madden's not here.
Spin kick from Booker T.
Book End from Booker for the win at around a minute.
That was quick.
So far a Booker T match was the lowest part of the show. Damn, what a send off for me.

Booker T is limping through the back.
Nash says that Sanders hurt Booker, that's good. He lost the match, that's bad. Cue Scott Steiner. He runs in and knocks Sanders from behind with a pipe.
Jarrett is getting his blood pressure checked in the back.
A Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner graphic comes up and the fans pop. I think Erik Watts made a surprise appearance. He's a real heat machine.

Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo (w/Shawn Stasiak)

Vito calls Palumbo out.
Palumbo attacks Vito to start.
Palumbo with a sideslam for a two.
Vito reveres a whip and takes Palumbo down. Two count only.
Suplex from Big Vito.
Flying elbowdrop from Big Vito for not a three count.
Vito misses a flying headbutt.
Palumbo with a clothesline for not a one count and not a three count.
Palumbo goes off the top rope with a flying shoulderblock for the same as before
If this was WCW Saturday Night (R.I.P, f*** you Russo for that) we'd be seeing the Jungle Kick.
Anyone remember back when Palumbo got destroyed by Scott Steiner on this very program?
I ignored the last thirty seconds of the match and when I look Big Vito executes the Implant DDT for the win at about a minute and a half.
This match really made Palumbo look quite bad.

Chuck Palumbo is scared to death. He hides behind a table but Scott Steiner is already behind him. Steiner knocks him out with the pipe.
Jarrett has some aroma candles burning. He's really focused.

The Harris Boys vs. General Rection and Sgt. AWOL

God damn it Eddie Ferrera. You take a really good show and throw this on it.
I refuse to have to call a match of this crapture on my way out.
Okay now, let's get ready for the return of the....
LONG STORY SHORT: Brawling to start. Lance Storm comes out with Major Gunns to distract. AWOL gets sent through a table. They go for the H-Bomb but Rection drives their head into the mat. Skipper whacks Rection with the flag, knocking him off the top rope. Only a two count. Kronic come into the ring and High Time Big Ron. Rection hits the Raging Climax for the win at around four minutes. Storm comes in and pounds on Rection's knee. AWOL makes the save.

Leia Meow is like a freakin' dominatrix in the back as she slaps The Jung Dragons, telling them that she needs to whip them back in shape. And, if they lose, they'll be forced to lick her boots. Lordy...
Scott Steiner and Nash are trying to talk Jarrett out of the next match. Jarrett refuses and tells them to stay in the back.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Kwee-Wee

Jarrett: "To all my little slapnuts out there, this match is for everyone of you."
Jarrett says he needed a challenge tonight.
WHAT? Kwee-Wee along with Paisley make their way out to the ring.
Jarrett is laughing on the outside.
Jarrett jumps Kwee as he's doing his pre-match stuff with Paisley.
Back elbow from Jarrett.
Knee to the stomach from Jeff.
Kwee-Wee hops over Jarrett in the corner.
Going off the ropes Kwee-Wee blows a clothesline by ending up falling down to his knee.
Jarrett grabs the advantage.
Kwee-Wee leapfrogs over Jarrett, then hiptossed Jeff.
Kwee-Wee misses a top rope dropkick.
Jarrett is about to hit The Stroke but Mike Awesome comes out.
Jarrett is distracted. Kwee rolls Jarrett up for the two.
Kwee rolls Jarrett up again but a two.
Jarrett grabs a chair as the refs pushes Mike Awesome back.
Kwee-Wee rolls through from a move and gains a two.
Kwee-Wee misses a clothesline, then dropkicks Jarrett.
Kwee-Wee drops Jarrett with a move that was a power bomb where he just threw you to the side.
Two count only.
Jarrett escapes a back suplex from Kwee-Wee.
The Stroke, 1-2-3, Jarrett is your winner at around four minutes.
After match Jarrett says he just had the match of the year, then to choke on that, all you Slapnuts.
Those two just didn't seem to click.

Arm Wrestling Match: Paul Orndorff vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak challenges anyone in the back to an Arm Wrestling Contest.
Paul Orndorff makes his way down to the ring and Stasiak is scared to death.
The ref has to hold Paul back from attacking Stasiak.
Stasiak doesn't want to lock hands with Orndorff.
Billy Silverman yells "Let's get it on."
Paul has Stasiak half way down.
Paul punches Shawn right in the face and throws the desk over.
Paul ducks a clothesline, then hits a great Piledriver!
Orndorff grabs a chair.
Paul backdrops Mike Sanders. Chairshot to Sanders.
Chairshot to Reno.
Paul ducks a kick, chairshots Jindrak.
Chairshot to O'Haire.
Chairshot to Palumbo.
Another chairshot to Palumbo.

The Cat and Mrs. Jones are just arriving at the arena.

The Cat (w/Ms. Jones) vs. Kevin Nash

The Cat says they'll have to kill him to take over.
The Cat calls out Kevin Nash for a match.
Nash, Steiner, and Jarrett come out.
The Cat tells that dumb ass music to quit.
The Cat tells Nash that he works for Vince Russo and Russo works for The Cat.
The Cat is going to book the last segment right now.

And that last segment is The Cat vs. Kevin Nash.
The Cat taunts both Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett.
Jarrett comes down to the ring with his guitar.
The Cat with chops and kicks to Jarrett.
Low blow to Scott Steiner.
Nash knocks The Cat down as we cut to the crowd because of baseball shots.
Ms. Jones slaps Jarrett.
Guitar shot to Ms. Jones, and we don't cut to the crowd.
Booker T runs out for the save.
The Natural Born Thrillers run and beat down Booker T.
Well, the match never took place.
The announcer are trying to keep Stevie cool.
Big low blow from Nash to Booker.
Stroke to The Cat.
Where are the Filthy Animals?
Scott Steiner executes the Steiner Recliner as Nash hits another low blow as we go to Ripley's.

The Good: The first half of the show was excellent. It went down hill from there.
The Bad: Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo was too short. The Harris Brothers, period.
The Ugly: What looks worse? Paul Orndorff's face or Scott Steiner's face. You decide.
Well, goodbye for now. Remember to check back Friday for my goodbyes and all that.

WCW Thunder - August 30th, 2000

By Greg of M.E.W- TNM Circuit (read some cards, send opinions)

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WCW Thunder - August 30^th, 2000