WCW Thunder - Wednesday, October 4, 2000

By King Leo of King Leo's Wrestling Palace

It's me, it's me, it's "Double L" King Lee with the Thunder report at DDT . . . um, Digest.

Hey, I never claimed to be an Armstrong.

Jim Ross reports at WWF.com that WWF Commissioner Mick Foley will address the students at Weber State University. That probably doesn't mean anything to most of you, but I live less than an hour away. The King is going to see what he can do to attend.

I know that the last time Foley spoke to students, those in attendance had the opportunity to ask questions. If anyone has a good question that I could ask providing that (a) I can attend and (b) I get called on, let me know. Also, if anyone reading this attends Weber State and has more info or can get more info, please let me know.
To better the odds of being called on, I plan to wear a flannel shirt similar to the red one that Foley wears with an old Mankind "Have A Nice Day" t-shirt underneath.

Trivia Question: When Bret Hart announced that he was returning to the WWF in 1996, what did he say is "not a church, but it's holy ground?" (answer at end of report.)
Jarod wrote back to inform me that he was that Jarod. He just wrote from a different e-mail address.
It's confession time. I figure that anyone who reads this is a wrestling fan (unless you're that loser who sent me the e-mail regarding my top ten list in the archives) and therefore must have put some thought into what their name and gimmick would be if they were a wrestler. If you have put some thought into this, let me know.

Since I know you're all dying to know I'd be (surprise) King Leo. My friend Allen, whom I've mentioned several times in my report, would be known as Debo Jones. We'd be the Double L Connection because my initials are LL and Allen has a double L in his name. This team would form a smaller part of the stable known as The New Generation for Appreciation of Neil Diamond. I don't know what our gimmick would be, but it would probably involve us beating the crap out of people who dare question our taste in music or lack thereof.

I'm sure it's not the first time something like this happened, but I have to mention something from the Utah State University homecoming game against the University of Utah. I wasn't there and details are sketchy, but some friends told me that when Brandon Dart, a 198-pound defensive back out of Layton responded to an unfavorable call with a DX-style crotch chop. I bring this up because firstly it's a great application of wrestling in real life and secondly because he's a friend of some friends of mine and he attended high school at the same one I did until he moved.
Let us all rejoice, for WCW.com has verified the rumor that Vince Russo will not be writing the shows in Australia. Rather, a group of monkeys with typewriters will be planning the shows.

Thunder's starting 25 minutes late or 10 minutes early depending on how you want to look at it.
We start with a tribute to "Klondike" Bill Soloweyko. He was the man responsible for getting the rings from place to place.
Earlier today Shane Douglas kissed up to Mike Sanders
Thunder was filmed before a live studio audience in Long Beach, California last night.
The Cho-cho-chosen One comes out.

That reminds me of the Valentine's Day card Lisa Simpson gave to Ralph Wiggum that had a picture of a train that said, "I choo-choose you."
Stevie Ray says that if he interferes in any of the festivities he will be fired.
The main event for Halloween Havoc will be announced tonight.
Jarrett has a few words to say about Sting.
He says Sting is finished, done, and washed up.
He says Sting lost his love for the business and called him a ghost of his former self.
Jarrett says it's time for Sting to step aside.
He says Sting's been the man in WCW for the last 40 years, but now isn't even good enough to carry Jarrett's jock strap.
Jarrett will wrestle Sting at Halloween Havoc.
Beetlejuice comes out.
The announcers put Beetlejuice over.
Beetlejuice gets in the ring and calls himself the Chosen One.
He challenges Jarrett.
Jarrett: "What are you smoking?" Beetlejuice: "I'm gonna smoke you."
Jarrett draws the line and dares Juice to cross it.
Juice punches at Jarrett like my little brother used to do when he'd throw a punch and I'd just hold his head so he was hitting air.
Scott Steiner attacks Booker T with a lead pipe in back again.
Our Patron Saint says he's going to leave the announcers to attend to Booker but doesn't.
Sting comes out and brawls with Jarrett
"A fan" wearing a Sting mask attacks Sting with a pipe.
Security grabs the fan and takes off his mask.
It's Shane Douglas.
Jarrett locks Beetlejuice in a figure four leglock in the ring.

During the commercials, that really annoying guy wearing a question mark tux telling us how to get a crapload of money from the government comes on.

I'm going to get my crapload of money from wrestling journalism. Wait and see. I AM that damn good. If you don't believe me, ask me.

We come back and Booker is being taken to the ambulance.
Scott Steiner is in back breaking stuff with his pipe.

Midajah tells him he can't just break stuff like that.

There's a Halloween Havoc promo.

We will see something we cannot imagine until we see it live.

I bet Goldberg's turning heel again.

Match #1: Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. A-WALL (so spelleth it that way they didst on Nitro, so it shall be here until they change their minds again.)

Yes!!! Team Canada's coming out.
Nope, it's the great Canadian Hacksaw Jim Duggan all by himself.
Duggan has a mic and tells the fans to shut their mouths.
Duggan calls himself a great Canadian hero.
Duggan says he's found a better way of life.
He invites us to join Team Canada for a better, simpler way of life.

OK. Sounds good to me. Where do I sign up?

Duggan berates the U.S. flag.
He says the Maple Leaf represents unity.
Tenay's turning heel, by the way.
Duggan says he didn't come for a fight.
Sgt. A-WALL comes out and says that it's too bad because he's going to get one.
Looks like Duggan's fighting the Wall.
It's a wrestling purist's dream match.

Not!!!!!

So it's the only member of the MIA whose style I don't care for much against the only member of Team Canada whose style I don't like.
Some fan flips the bird, causing the censors to blur it.
Duggan and A-WALL "wrestle" a little then Duggan hits the Wall with a low blow.
A-WALL throws Duggan out of the ring, then sets up a table.
Some fan in the front row holds up a sign and it gets blurred too.
Back in the ring, A-WALL tries to chokeslam Duggan through the table, but . . .
Reno comes out and hits Wall with a kendo stick, but only gets a two-count for Duggan.
Reno tries to interfere with a chair, but A-WALL punches the chair and Reno goes down.
Duggan puts Wall through the table then hits an elbow to get the three.
Your Winner: Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

When we return, Midajah is with the Cruiserweight champion and commissioner Mike Sanders.
Pamela Paulshock talks to Sting.

Sting says not to question his commitment to the business.

We're invited to subscribe to the WCW Magazine.
"Above Average" Mike Sanders comes down.

They show Nash screwing Elix Skipper out of the Cruiserweight title.
Sanders says things are shaping up since he was put in charge.
He talks about the titles the Natural Born Thrillers won.
He pretends he beat Prime Time by himself.
He puts Russo over as a genius or even a god.
Lex Luger is in the crowd again.

Remember when Lenny Lane was in the crowd when he couldn't wrestle? Me neither.

Sanders says he has signed a match for Goldberg at Halloween Havoc.
Kronik's music plays and the announcers act like Clarke and Adams are still faces.
Kronik goes for the High Time and then stops.
Sanders says Goldberg may be a monster, but he ain't two monsters.
The announcers speculate that Goldberg may be facing Kronik at HH.

Pamela talks to Team Canada.

Elix says that according to Canadian rules, he deserves a rematch.

Actually WCW rules say that. too.

Match #2: Jung Dragons vs. Scott Steiner in a handicap match.

Stevie Ray is back with the announcers.
Meow sends Yung Yang into the ring.
Steiner throws Yang out.
Kaz and Jamie-San double team Steiner who hits them with a double Steinerline.
Yang does one of those moves that exists solely to be reversed from the top rope and Steiner hits him with a release belly-to-belly overhead suplex
Steiner hits another with a fallaway slam from the top.
Leia Meow is outside beating on Midajah.
Steiner gets Jamie-San and Hayashi in a double Steiner Recliner for the win.
Your Winner: Scott Steiner via submission.

During the break, they show an ad for the Andy Griffith Show video collection where somebody whistles something that's not the Andy Griffith Show theme song.
The Thrillers bring Konnan into Sanders's office.

They say that Konnan's right to work in the U.S. is in question by Shane Douglas.
Konnan says that there's no problem because he's a U.S. citizen and can get the paperwork he needs.
Two immigration officials tell Konnan that he needs to produce the papers now and can't leave the room because he is a flight risk.

I'd analyze that a little more to show you the flaws, but I won't bother.

Pamela Paulshock is interviewing Rey and Juvi.

They talk about the best-of-five challenge. It's 1-1 now.
They send Tygress to get K-Dawg's paperwork.
Shane Douglas attacks the Filthy Animals.
Then he talks about his match against Konnan at Halloween Havoc and in the great Franchise starts to go off about Sting.

Konnan attends to Rey and Juvi in back.

Konnan proposes a great strategy, but we are not privy to it because we cut to . . .

Mike Awesome, who tells someone that he's a chick magnet.

Crowbar comes out of the dressing room dressed like the Godfather, only gaudier.

Buff "3:16 Says I Just Impregnated Your Girlfriend" Bagwell tells us to get the WCW Credit Card.
The announcers talk about Goldberg's first winning streak that began September 22, 1997 in West Valley City, Utah.

They don't say that's where it was, but I was there, so I know.
There's a video package, too.

The announcers talk about Lex Luger's presence and finally Stevie Ray decides to find out for himself what he's doing.

It's time for a segment called "Suckas Got's to Know."
Luger says he's been sitting at home watching untalented no-name wrestlers.

Sounds like he's been watching tapes of his old matches.

He asks Stevie Ray if it's a sanctioned interview.
He talks about Gen. Rection, who is standing in the crowd.
Luger says that Hugh was just a prop in last week's match.
He says that Hugh will never touch the Total Package.
Hugh jumps Luger from behind.
Luger and Rection brawl up the aisle.
Luger tries to go out the entrance, but since he's not an active wrestler, he can't use the entrance.

We come back to Pamela with Kronik.

Clarke says that their services go out to the highest bid.
I knew these guys were a rip-off of the Acolytes, but they just sunk really low there.
Adams verifies that they will face Goldberg at Halloween Havoc.

Match #3: Cruiserweight champion "Above Average" Mike Sanders vs. U.S. champion Lance Storm for the Cruiserweight title.

Yes!!!! It's Team Canada.
The whole team comes out.
Storm doesn't look happy.
Storm says "If I can be serious . . ." and Schiavone says "You're always serious." for what I believe is the first time since I began writing for DDT Digest.
Storm is wrestling for the CW title.
They play O Canada and at one point they fade an image of the Canadian flag over Storm.

They play the WHOLE anthem, baby.
Schiavone says it must be because they don't have enough material to fill the whole two hours.

Sanders comes out with Reno, Chuck Palumbo, and Shawn Stasiak.
Sanders runs into the ring, then there's a series of moves resulting in an Irish whip by Storm.
Storm hits a sweet dropkick, but Sanders doesn't sell it right.
Storm with two chops.
Sanders hits a pumphandle suplex.
Sanders does a strutting kneedrop.
Duggan's talking smack to Major Gunns.
Storm hits a backbreaker.
Then he hits a vertical suplex.
Storm takes Sanders to the corner, whips him across the ring, but misses a splash due to Above Average's foot being in the way.
Storm hits a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!!!! for two and would have gotten away with it had it not been for Reno interfering.
Members of Team Canada and the Natural Born Thrillers brawl, allowing Storm and Sanders to re-enter the ring.
Storm hits an Irish whip then . . .
We don't really find out because they cut to a FREAKING SHOT OF MAJOR GUNNS.

And I'm not happy about it at all. Sure she's good looking and all, but it's Lance Storm against Mike Sanders and there's no reason for it.

Apparently Storm hit a rolling half crab but sadly that's left up to our imagination as to whether or not it was because when we cut back to the ring he has the Maple Leaf already locked on.
The bell rings, but Sanders didn't submit.
Oh. Major Gunns rang the bell. So? That's still no excuse cutting into my match.
Storm realizes what happened and follows Gunns toward the entrance.
MIA comes down the aisle where Hugh thumps on Storm and throws him back into the ring.
Storm jaws at Hugh allowing Sanders to come from behind and hit a very nice pinning combination.
Your Winner: Mike Sanders
Post-match, Capt. Rection laughs at Storm.
I'm really concerned because when I talk about wrestling with acquaintances I always mention Lance Storm among my favorite wrestlers and nobody knows who he is. I am therefore declaring next week to be Lance Storm Awareness Week. The rules are simple: Insert Lance Storm into conversation any way you can.

Franchise and Jeff Jarrett are shown in back talking.
Earlier today Mike Tenay talked to the MIA.

Hugh's wearing the shirt that says "WHO?" all over the front and "HUGH!" on the back.
Tenay calls Hugh "Mike Demotta."
Hugh gets mad because Tenay didn't call him Gen. Rection.
Hugh says there's nothing entertaining about sports entertainment and the only reason he's in it is because he loves the business.
Hugh says they do everything together.

He says they sleep together.

That probably didn't come out like he wanted it to.

Chavo says that every time they are involved something they put their all into it.
Lash says basically the same thing.
Lash says that the Misfits are some of the best wrestlers in the business.

I can't argue with that. At least on some points.

Hugh says that the potential of the Misfits remains untapped.
Tenay talks about the recent swerves of Hugh Morrus (Jim Duggan and Lex Luger).
Hugh says that Duggan's family and his family were good friends.
Hugh says his kids asked him about why Uncle Jim punked him out again.
Gen. Rection talks about their feud against Team Canada.
That was what I'd call a "work" interview, but they make us think it's a shoot because they weren't really in character.
A-WALL didn't say anything the whole interview. I think he was a prop.

We come back and Sting's preparing for his match tonight.

Match #4: World Tag Team champions Mark Jindrak & Sean O'Haire vs. Mike Awesome & Crowbar for the titles.

Mike Awesome comes out and Crowbar reluctantly comes out after.
Mike Awesome and Crowbar earned this title shot by . . . well, I don't know. Not that I'm complaining, because these are four of my favorite guys.
Crowbar says that they are "Two Wild and Crazy Guys" without any feeling.
Awesome says to say it the way he told him to, so he does then freaks out.
Stevie Ray wonders why their pants are so tight.
Awesome takes his shirt off for this match.
It's Crowbar and Jindrak to start.
Then O'Haire tags in.
Jindrak hits Crowbar with a side slam.
Crowbar hits O'Haire with a dropkick.
Mike Awesome tags in.
O'Haire and Awesome trade slaps.
O'Haire whips Awesome, goes for a standing side kick, but gets hit with a kick.
O'Haire goes up top and does a flip over Awesome.
Awesome hits a German suplex.
O'Haire rolls out.
Crowbar tags in.
Crowbar hits a springboard splash for two.
Jindrak makes a blind tag while Crowbar has a side headlock on O'Haire.
O'Haire and Jindrak hit a double atomic drop and a double dropkick.
Crowbar fights out of a side headlock only to be taken down by a clothesline.
Jindrak gets two two counts.
O'Haire tags in.
They hit Crowbar with a double shoulderblock.
Crowbar hits Jindrak with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! for two.
Crowbar goes up top, but O'Haire kicks him off so Jindrak hits a hurricanrana and O'Haire hits the seanton bomb.
Awesome makes the save, though.
At this point the match gets so good that I stop typing and just watch. I'll watch again later to let you know what happened though.
Jindrak misses a springboard moonsault.
Awesome tags in.
Awesome hits a sitout powerbomb.
Awesome goes to the top and hits a frog splash for two.
Awesome sets up a table in the corner.
He goes for a running Awesome bomb but is denied.
Then Jindrak and O'Haire try to put Awesome through a table, but Crowbar hits a double low blow.
Jindrak and O'Haire get out of the ring, but Awesome throws Crowbar onto him.
Crowbar with a reverse DDT for a two count.
Jindrak & O'Haire hiptoss Crowbar through the table for the three.
Your Winners: Mark Jindrak & Sean O'Haire.
That match proved that a good wrestler transcends crappy gimmicks.

Buff Bagwell gets out of a car in back.
Valvoline sponsors a replay of David Flair manhandling Buff Bagwell from Nitro.

That's Valvoline reminding you that if you get questionable evidence surrounding the infidelity of a loved one you too should take the law into your own hands.

There's another promo for Halloween Havoc.

Actually, it's the same one they showed earlier tonight and the same one they showed on Nitro and the same one they'll show on every Nitro, Thunder, and Worldwide from now to Halloween Havoc.

Buff's music plays bringing out Buff Lazy himself.

Buff says that Stacy got herself pregnant.
Buff says that he always wears his stuff when he goes there.
Buff demands an apology from David Flair.
So maybe he's not the Buff Daddy after all.
Some guy comes out wearing a stethoscope and has David Flair.

Rule of Wrestling #1,237: Anyone wearing a stethoscope is a competent medical authority.

David Flair apologizes for jumping to conclusions but still thinks Buff is the father.
Buff asks who the guy is.
Flair says it's a doctor to do a DNA test.
Stevie Ray asks how we know it's a doctor and Tenay cites the above rule.
The doctor says that all he has to do is put a band around his arm and give him a little prick.

But they mute out "prick", even though it was a completely non-sexual reference.

Buff questions the doctor's use of the word, though.
Buff agrees to the test, but says he's afraid of needles.
Bagwell hits the doctor and David Flair.
The doctor gets back up and puts the rubber thing around Buff's arm again.
Buff hits the doc again.
Buff leaves the ring saying "You figure it out David."

I wish I knew psychic kung fu, too.

Match #5: Shane Douglas vs. Sting

They talk about Klondike Bill, who was much loved and will be sorely missed.

Schiavone says that Klondike Bill got him his first job in wrestling setting up rings.
Douglas and Torrie get their mic time.
Sting comes out.
They announce that the main event for Halloween Havoc is Booker T vs. Scott Steiner.
Sting and Franchise brawl into the stands.
They get back into the ring and Sting gets a chair.
Sting nails Douglas with the chair.
Sting rolls Douglas into the ring.
Torrie tries to hold Sting's leg, but Sting kicks her off.
In the ring, Franchise hits a low blow.
Douglas executes a vertical suplex with some good hangtime.
Douglas locks on an abdominal stretch and grabs Torrie's hand for additional leverage.
Sting powers out, but Douglas hits him with another low blow.
Douglas pulls out a table.
Franchise stomps on Sting and sets the table up in the corner.
Sting kicks Douglas and changes the momentum.
Douglas gets whipped into the table.
Sting hits a Stinger splash and goes for another, but Douglas wraps a chain around his hand.
Konnan comes out carries off Torrie.
Sting fights off the Franchise.
Jarrett comes out and hits Sting with the weakest guitar shot I've ever seen.
Douglas pins Sting.
Your Winner: Shane Douglas.

The Good: Lance Storm, Mike Sanders, Crowbar, Mike Awesome, Mark Jindrak, and Sean O'Haire stole the show. Storm, Crowbar, and Awesome are proverbially there and Sanders, Jindrak, and O'Haire will be there very soon.

The Bad: No disrespect to my third favorite country, but they had to resort to playing the WHOLE Canadian National Anthem to fill up time. It was doubly bad because Lance Storm didn't get to do the Glare of Doom.

The Ugly: I never thought I'd say this, but I mean it in the production way: they cut to the shot of Major Gunns before she rang the bell in anticipation that she would. In other words Foreshadowing in Shakespeare = Good, Foreshadowing in Wrestling = bad.

Trivia Answer: Madison Square Garden

WCW Thunder - Wednesday, October 4, 2000

By King Leo of King Leo's Wrestling Palace

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