- Matango of the NZWA clarifies a censored phrase from last week:
Great Nitro review! You're the best!
Anyway, I wanted to share with you a bit of info. Where you mentioned that Buff was bleeped out, he said "Battle Queer Dome!!" I read the lips so I know. What I would be doing with no life at all reading Buff Bagwell's lips is beyond me. Sad, actually. Anyway, one more thing, despite Paisley's bad acting, she still is the best hot piece of ass WCW has right now. Yes, it's true, I have no life. Pray for me.
- Mr. Clean sends in:
Just to let you know, I don't really see the Opie and Anthony thing happening with Jimmy Hart. They have several close ties to the WWF and they are constantly refering to WCW as Wheel Chair Wrestling, and have repeatedly put down WCW on there shows. So I don't see O and A making a WCW appearance ever.
This is true. I probably should have pointed out that the O&A namedropping was an example of the point I was trying to make in my mid-report rant last week.
- Speaking of said rant, Jon S. chimes in with a reason for the Battledome invasion:
Take one promotion that nobody cares about and introduce a cross-promotional feud with another promotion that nobody cares about, with the winner getting the right to say that people care about their promotion more. Only question: Which variable is WCW in this equation and which variable is Battledome in this equation? How close are we to hearing "The Battletanx guys aren't going to stand for that!" on Nitro? Too close.
- Schiavone is holding an envelope that C. E. O. Ric Flair said not to open until he comes out.
- Speaking of which, Ric makes his way out.
- Schiavone throws some revisionist history on us by saying Ric Flair is a former fourteen-time champion. I'm not even gonna touch that one.
- Ric calls WCW the greatest collection of athletes under one roof.
- Ric addresses "Above Average" Mike Sanders and tells him to play by the rules.
- Ric tells Sanders that he has 48 hours to decide what he wants to do with his Cruiserweight Title.
- Ric announces a "London Lethal Lottery" tonight.
- Eight men. Four teams of "random" pairings. They fight until one team stands. Winning team wrestles each other on Thunder for a title shot after Mayhem.
- So, DDP isn't going to defend his BattleBowl ring? :-(
- Your Lethal Lottery teams are:
- Mike Awesome and Bam Bam Bigelow.
- Booker T. and "The Total Package" Lex Luger.
- Alex Wright and Disqo.
- Scott Steiner and Sting.
- All of the participants save Steiner are in the ring.
- Ric commands Steiner to come on down.
- The sirens bring Steiner out.
- Steiner charges Ric Flair, and Booker makes the save.
- An eight-man scuffle leads to a World War 3-ish skirmish with all of the wrestlers ringside.
- Vito charges to the ring. Me thinks he is playing the heel tonight.
- Here comes the champ.
- Vito nails Crowbar with the Nagasaki Stick.
- Outside, Vito with a right.
- Chair shot finds Crowbar's noggin.
- Chopfest leads to a headsmash to the stairs by Crowbar.
- Crowbar charges Vito but gets bodydropped over the rail.
- Vito hits Crowbar with a trashcan lid.
- They fight in the stands.
- Vito shoves Crowbar underneath the rafters.
- Now we go backstage.
- Some stiff punches leads to a trashcan lid shot by Crowbar.
- Crowbar charges and gets slammed into a table.
- Vito headlocks Crowbar and brings him back to ringside.
- Vito pulls out a table to a big pop.
- Much like the Australian fans, the Londonites are fans of this mysterious "Table" guy.
- Vito with a pair of clotheslines.
- Crowbar bails to regroup.
- Crowbar reverses a whip into the rail.
- Chair to the back by Crowbar.
- Crowbar fights off Vito on the apron.
- Crowbar with a slingshot bodypress from the ring.
- Crowbar attempts a suplex on the table but Vito counters with a swinging neckbreaker.
- Vito sets up Crowbar on the table.
- Vito goes to the top turnbuckle but Crowbar rolls off the table.
- Vito with two trashcan lids and a right.
- Vito throws the table inside the ring.
- Trashcan finds its mark on Crowbar's back.
- They go inside.
- Table is setup and Vito goes for the Mafia Kick, but hits the referee.
- Vito places Crowbar on the table and goes up top.
- Crowbar gets up and intercepts his opponent.
- Reno hits ringside with a club to ruin the match.
- Reno clubs Vito in the back.
- This allows Crowbar to superplex Vito on the table for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Crowbar via superplex in 7:25.
- Sketchy finish aside, this was a decent brawl.
- The announcers put over the "swerve" on Kevin Nash.
- Sanders uses an election motif to say they pulled the biggest swerve.
- Cut Palumbo, Stasiak and Reno and you got a good team here.
- Sanders talks about Nash's politicking.
- Sanders says "S. O. L." and does his take on the Penguin's Laugh.
- Stasiak gets the mic and the crowd boos loudly.
- Stasiak says Nash fell to evolution.
- Stasiak says the best was taken down by the best.
- "Theme From Wolfpac" brings out the former Coach.
- Nash says he's a long way from being extinct.
- Nash says a combustion engine runs on gasoline, and the Thrillers decided to take pole position in the Indy 500.
- Nash tells the NBT to finish what they started.
- Nash claims he's twice as dangerous as he ever was.
- Sanders offers to finish it tonight.
- Sanders challenges Nash to a four-corners match with Palumbo, O'Haire and Stasiak.
- Nash accepts and threatens Stasiak.
- The guy with the soft rock music comes out first.
- Bigelow gets a much harsher theme, naturally. Had he kept the cap he wore earlier, "Jive Soul Bro" would have been more apropros.
- Steiner gets the third entrance.
- Sting comes out last.
- As Sting makes his way out, the bell sounds.
- Steiner gets his ass handed to him until Sting hits the ring.
- With everyone in the corner, Awesome gets a belly-to-belly and Bigelow a whip followed by a Stinger Splash.
- Sting and Steiner get into a shoving match.
- Sting pounds on Steiner until the opposition hits the ring.
- After it breaks down, we see Bigelow go up top for the diving headbutt but Steiner moves out of the way.
- Tag to Sting.
- Sting tries an armwringer but Bigelow goes for the eyes.
- Tag to Awesome.
- Shoulderblock.
- Awesome follows that with a bearhug into a belly-to-belly suplex.
- Tag to Steiner.
- Steiner with punches until he gets caught in the wrong corner.
- Tag to Bigelow, who hits a splash in the corner. Awesome isn't so lucky.
- Steiner suplexes Bigelow.
- Sting pulls Bigelow out, and Awesome gives Steiner a standing spinebuster.
- Awesome goes up top but Sting crotches him.
- Steiner with a super exploder.
- Awesome taps from the Recliner.
- YOUR WINNERS: Scott Steiner and Sting via Steiner Recliner.
- My stopwatch screwed up, so no match time. :-(
- Post-match, Bigelow destroys Awesome.
¼
- I was watching a tape called "Smack 'Em Whack 'Em" the other day and Brian Adams looks totally different. He probably wrestles better than his Crush days, too. Of course, Crush was working against The Berzerker in this particular tape (I had their match at -*, a classic if I ever saw one) so anything could be better than that!
- OK, back to match... Luger comes out next.
- The champ gets the last entrance.
- Booker and Brian Clarke start.
- Lockup, Booker gets in a headlock.
- Clarke with some kicks to take over.
- A loud chop in the corner.
- Whip by Clarke but Booker spin kicks Clarke and nails Adams with an axe kick.
- Tag to Luger.
- Luger hits a second rope axehandle.
- Tag to Adams, signaling a two-on-one.
- Luger with the signature clotheslines.
- Luger hits a suplex on Adams for two.
- Luger with a right and a whip.
- Adams ducks a clothesline and hits a sloppy piledriver thanks to Clarke's interference behind the ropes.
- Tag to Clarke.
- Lariat gets two.
- Booker signals to the ref that the heels are cheating, so Mickey Jay tends to Kronic. Meanwhile, Booker hits an axe kick!
- Tag to Booker.
- Axe kick on Clarke.
- Booker knocks Adams off the apron.
- Both men gut shot each other.
- Clarke with a punch to the grapefruits.
- Slugfest leads to a whip and a clothesline by Booker for two.
- Luger tosses Booker out of the ring and signals for the Bird Dance.
- Adams grabs Luger from behind and hits the full nelson slam.
- Booker with a Harlem Sidekick out of nowhere.
- Booker goes for the Bookend, but Scott Steiner runs in and hits Booker with that devastating finishing move "The Pipe To The Back."
- High Times ends the match.
- YOUR WINNERS: Kronic via High Times in 4:38.
- Why waste tag champ O'Haire in this match when singles wrestler Reno could have worked this?
- Nash and Stasiak start, no wait, Stasiak tags Palumbo.
- Lockup, Palumbo with a wristlock.
- Palumbo works on the shoulder but gets clotheslined.
- Nash whips Palumbo from pillar to post and we get The Side Slam™ for two.
- Nash with the usual in the corner.
- Nash alters the routine by giving the heels a crotch chop before the framed elbow.
- O'Haire hits Nash from behind during the boot choke.
- Kneelift gets two.
- O'Haire distracts the ref, allowing Stasiak some cheap shots.
- But, the ref lets it slide.
- Stasiak with a flying back elbow for two.
- Some guy in the stands is wearing a Cactus Jack shirt — and production doesn't censor it!
- Palumbo's in the ring now with Nash.
- Palumbo with a right.
- Palumbo chokes Nash on the ropes.
- Sign: "Bring Back Hall." This one wasn't airbrushed out either!
- Tag to O'Haire.
- O'Haire with an arrogant cover followed by a tag to Palumbo.
- Double-clothesline.
- Now Stasiak is in, and Nash decides to stop selling.
- Big boot. Nash beats down all three opponents.
- Nash clotheslines O'Haire out of the ring.
- Nash goes for the powerdrop on Stasiak, but Reno makes the save.
- Nash with a chokeslam, but no Frankengoof impression.
- The match gets thrown out due to Reno's interference.
- YOUR WINNER: Kevin Nash via DQ in 5:12.
- Nash holds his own, even when Sanders enters.
- A Mark Jindrak flying clothesline stops the momentum, though.
- The beatdown climaxes with a Sean-Ton Bomb.
¼
- Cat gets the first entrance.
- Skipper (w/ the DMX knockoff) comes out next. Y'all do know who built this house? Primetime did. Primetime did.
- Cat cuts a promo on Skipper to start.
- In the ring, Cat with a kick off the ropes.
- Skipper with a waistlock but Cat hits an armdrag.
- More kicks by the Cat, followed by a big spinning one.
- Eight punches in the corner until Elix turns the tide.
- Elix sends Cat through the ropes.
- Elix has words for Ms. Jones, then he sends Cat to the apron.
- And again.
- Jones gets into the action with a kick.
- Cat sends Elix into the ring.
- Elix reverses a whip, but Cat counters and hits a double-chop.
- Cat whips Elix, who tries a sunset flip to no success.
- Cat drops an elbow.
- Cat with a palm thrust to the chin.
- Elix ducks a roundhouse and gives Cat a backdrop suplex.
- Elix pulls out The Grey Cup Ring and loads up.
- Swing and miss by Elix.
- Kick and miss by Cat.
- Cat connects with another kick.
- Feliner finishes it.
- YOUR WINNER: The Cat via Feliner in 3:28.
- I like Ernest Miller as a character, but he REALLY needs to learn some wrestling skills.
- Disqo and Alex Wright come out for their surprise. *coughGoldbergcough*
- Wright still has the dance moves, I'll give him that.
- The crashing cymbals brings out Goldberg (16-0). Told ya so. ;-)
- Goldberg charges the ring, and the heels flee.
- Wright ducks a swing on the apron, and Disqo whips him.
- Goldberg with a pumphandle release suplex.
- Wright returns fire with a missile dropkick.
- Goldberg no-sells Wright's offense in the corner.
- Both heels beat on Goldberg and whip him cross-corner.
- Wright whips Disqo into a spear.
- Wright goes aerial but gets powerbombed and speared.
- Jackhammer for Disqo. Same for Wright.
- Goldberg pins both men to completely bury the Boogie Knights.
- YOUR WINNER: Goldberg via Jackhammer in 1:48. (18-0)
- During all this, Stevie Ray is laughing like Mr. T from "The A-Team."
- Storm says he doesn't have time for the people.
- Storm says he left his boys in the back and asks Morrus to do the same.
- Canadian National Anthem gets interrupted as usual. It's always funny to see Lance turn his head when the guitar riff sounds.
- Morrus brings out Gunns.
- Stare-off leads to a slugfest.
- Morrus back bodydrops Storm off the ropes.
- Storm kicks Morrus low and chops him in the corner.
- Morrus channels Goldberg and no-sells.
- Morrus tries some chops but gets hit with a low-blow.
- Storm whips Morrus into the corner and clotheslines him.
- Morrus comes back with a suplex.
- Morrus sends Storm outside and follows suit.
- Morrus exposes one of the mats.
- Storm blocks a vertical suplex and hits a DDT.
- Back inside, Storm re-enters with a springboard missile dropkick for two.
- Morrus blocks a clothesline into an attempted armbar submission.
- Storm escapes and goes for the jawbreaker.
- Morrus swats a side kick and eventually hits a powerslam for two.
- Team Canada jogs out, and M. I. A. members follow.
- The production crew seems to think this is more important that the match for the #2 title in the promotion.
- Anyhoo, Morrus goes for the moonsault.
- Major Gunns rolls Storm out of the way and gives him an American object.
- Storm uses the object and gets two.
- Storm then locks on the Mapleleaf and Gunns throws the towel in. The match (and title) is given to Storm.
- YOUR WINNER AND NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION: Lance Storm via Canadian Mapleleaf in 3:50.
- Post-match, Gunns is seen cracking a smile and leaves with the new champion.
- The match was rockin' until the extracurricular crap. In addition, the (expected) Major Gunns heel turn came out of nowhere. But, that was the first bit of storyline (outside of the Lethal Lottery stuff) to be added tonight.
¼
- As usual, the heels enter first before Sting.
- Steiner has words for Stevie Ray as Midajah joins the guys at the booth.
- Sting and Adams start.
- Adams punches Sting out of a lockup.
- Adams blocks a back bodydrop and hits his sloppy piledriver.
- Adams with a gorilla press gutbuster for two.
- Sting reverses a whip and hits a kick followed by his facejam.
- Jumping DDT by Sting.
- Adams reverses a whip and collides with Sting.
- Sting does his "fall face-first onto Adams' crotch" spot.
- Tag to Steiner and Clarke.
- Steiner with a kneelift.
- Steiner shoves Clarke into the corner and hits some offense.
- Clarke returns the favor.
- Steiner whips Clarke into a clothesline.
- Steiner headsmashes Clarke into the turnbuckle and belly-to-bellies him.
- Clarke wiggles out of a slam and whips his opponent into a shoulderblock for two.
- Clarke whips Steiner into Adams.
- Steiner punches Adams, allowing Clarke to take over.
- Steiner ducks a double-team clothesline and tags Sting.
- Adams knocks Steiner out of the ring as Sting nails Clarke with two Stinger Splashes.
- Scorpion Deathlock applied, by Adams makes the save.
- Adams goes outside.
- Steiner suplexes Clarke.
- Steiner goes for the Recliner but Adams makes the save with the full-nelson slam.
- Kronic hits High Times as Sting rests on the apron.
- Sting decks Clarke as Midajah hits the apron.
- Adams blocks one slap but not other.
- Sting dropkicks Adams out of the ring.
- Clarke goes for the Meltdown but Sting counters with the Scorpion Deathdrop for the win!
- YOUR WINNERS: Scott Steiner and Sting via Scorpion Deathdrop in 5:37.
- Post-match, Steiner thanks Sting by chairing him.
- Booker T. runs in with his own chair for Steiner.
- Booker then chairs Sting for no reason. Que?
- We pan out with Booker looking very pissed off.
- Boring start, great finish though. Thanks to whoever booked this for saving the chairshots after the match instead of during.