WCW Thunder - November 29, 2000

• Greetings after an inordinately long DDT Digest absence. For those of you that don't know me, I was Mike from Syracuse, but now I am Mike from Brooklyn. And now, I'm Mike at a Computer Writing a Thunder Recap. Let's party.
• Oh... and Sid is back. I'm not happy about that and I thought I'd warn you before his inevitable first promo.
• Let's recap Nitro with a video package, shall we?
  • Cat cartwheels Lance
  • Perfect Event cost the Veterans the belts
  • Luger racks Goldberg
  • Rey looks like a dork
  • Steiner takes out the Patron Saint and
  • "Oh my God it's Sid Vicious"
• Tony S. welcomes us, introduces Mike Tenay and Mark Madden
• Let's have an opening interview
  • Ric Flair comes out looking as only he and his son can look
  • Madden becomes the first to say Steiner v. Sid at Starcade and I shudder
  • Ric talks up WCW and Scott Steiner and announces Steiner v. Buff for tonight
  • And then Nature Boy introduces Sid Vicious
  • Sid is sporting a more than passable mullet
  • Sid thanks "Champ" who I assume is Flair
  • Sid explains where he's been... flashback to the April 10 Nitro, when Eric Bischoff took the World Heavyweight Title from him
  • He defended that champion night in and night out (his words)
  • Come April 10, the boys in the back had to kiss Bischoff's ass or suck it up or stick it in (huh?)
  • Sid mentions Creative Control and the Powers to Be
  • But Sid has pride, and so he had to watch it on his own TV Set
  • Booker T and General E. Rection had to step up in his absence
  • Scott Steiner goes on with his fancy headgear and his foul language and he mouths on and on
  • In 1903, the Wright brothers set history in aviation, and as the year 2000,
  • Then I think he said, "Wrong Place, Wrong Time."
  • OK... I got through it. It could have been worse. But why was he talking about the Wright Brothers?
  • Incidentally, I was born on Orville Wright's birthday. Or Wilbur. I never remember.
  • Oh yeah, we're in commercial.
• Pamela Paulshock talks with Franchise while Torrie stands by
  • Franchise moves past the Cat onto bigger and better things
  • Franchise is addicted to gold, and General Rection and the US Title are a stepping stone to the World Title
  • Torrie tells Pamela she knows she's jealous of her but "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
    • Whose line was that, Kelly LeBrock?
  • Pamela asks the audience why she would be jealous of Torrie? The audience ignores the question.
• Enter Team Canada
  • Tenay: I think we're in for a moment of seriousness
  • Lance has the stick
  • Lance mentions his pinfall loss to Yang .
  • Canadian anthem plays and Duggan disrespects the anthem by yabbering at the crowd.
  • It's time for...
• MATCH #1: Elix Skipper and Lance Storm v. Jung Dragons
  • Quick Powerbomb into a bridge by Yang on SKipper gets two
  • Mat wrestling from there, ending in a way too complicated top rope armdrag from Yang
  • Kaz comes in, hits a kick on Elix from the top then a kick to the chest to send him out
  • A full minute is the wasted on a Team Canada impression
  • Even if everyone does it, it will not get any funnier
  • Elix comes back and ain't happy
  • Lance Storm hits an enziguri on Kaz on the apron, knocking him in to the ring
  • Wow, neat spot
  • Kaz gets crotched on top
  • Elix walks to the middle of the rope and hits a huracanrana for two
  • Kaz with a Tajiri-esque kick to Skipper's head
  • Kaz hottags Yang, Yang with a body press and a Bruce Lee impression
  • Yang with an old school drop kick
  • Low blow from Elix gets 2
  • Team Canada collides after a botched double Irish Whip
  • Prime Time with a Double Underhook Superplex, but Yang makes the save
  • Gunns uses the flag, but Meow hops on her back
  • Kaz with a sweet Brainbuster
  • Cat comes in and takes out Duggan
  • The Dragons hit a top rope move which I miss but I assume was a body splash and a senton
  • And 1-2-3, the Dragons upset Team Canada again
  • Pretty nifty little match, but Lance Storm never tagged in. And Yang and Skipper miss a lot of moves
• Team Canada is in disarray in the back, Storm blames Duggan
• Gene O. is with the MIA, all in red
  • General Rection doesn't like his belt being used as a stepping stone
  • AWall is upset with Bam Bam and there's a tables match tonight
  • Chavo pumps Rection up (err... I should rephrase)
• Lex Luger is out and all smiley
  • Ironically, his opponent appears to be Norman Smiley
  • Another match? Already?
  • By the way, we have Luger v. Goldberg at Starcade, pencil it in
• MATCH #2: Lex Luger v. Norman Smiley
  • Tie up and Smiley hits a wristlock
  • Luger goes to the eyes, Norman hits a drop toehold and a drop kick
  • Luger plods in to offense, but Norman answers with a back elbow
  • Luger bails then drags out Smiley for some very slow brawling, which Luger wins
  • Clubbing forearm to the back from Luger, fist to the back
  • Back drop suplex (I see a trend) gets two
  • Kicks in the corner from Luger
  • Hey, where's Ralphus?
  • Smiley hits a nice floatover into an armdrag
  • Norman with his wind-em-up slam and THE WIGGLE RETURNS
  • The standard Luger match ensues and the Rack makes Norman scream
  • Luger refuses to break the hold and Goldberg makes the save
  • Luger bails
  • Tony: I've never seen Luger move that fast before
  • Oh it's so true.
  • You know what Goldberg really needs? Bobby Heenan back to talk him up properly.
• Gene O. is with Bam Bam Bigelow
  • Bigelow calls AWall a circus freak, which, while maybe true, is kind of a non-sequitir
  • He's upset and is going to kick AWall's posterior around in the tables match
  • Crowbar is being massaged by Nitro Girls
  • A package is delivered, which the one of the Nitro Girls opens
  • It's a Gold Monkey Wrench, the gift that keeps on giving
• Pamela Paulshock stands with Reno and Marie
  • Pamela guesses that Reno and Marie are an item
  • Reno says no, she's his sister
  • Pamela realizes that this means that Vito and Reno are brothers
  • Is Reno from Staten Island, too?
  • This just took a turn for the weird
• Bryan Adams is on the phone with a prospective client, but Bryan Clark tells him something very quietly which I assume is that they have other business. They leave.
• That's it? The whole segment? I feel like I'm writing really poor screenplay
• Gene O. is with JJ
  • Gene asks who his partners will be for the 6-Man?
  • Oh dear... the band is back together... it's Big D and Heavy Ron. Or whatever they are.
• The Shock of the Week is Chuck Palumbo appearing on Nitro.
• A dazed little kid gets kissed by a Nitro Girl and a Nintendo.
• MATCH #3: Crowbar v. David Flair (Hardcore Title)
  • Crowbar enters with the wrench and some laughing and screaming brings out Flair the Younger (sans shirt)
  • Crowbar fights with Flair over a trashcan, forgetting HE HAS A WRENCH IN HIS BELT
  • Flair with clubbing forearms, a mop, a forearm, and a trash can lid
  • Crowbar comes back with a whip in to the can
  • Crowbar brandishes the wrench, but Flair intercepts with a mop.
  • Crowbar uses the trash can to great effect.
  • A paint tray causes serious damage to Flair's head and neck region.
  • (Mostly the head)
  • They take it outside, where the beating continues
  • Crowbar deserves better than this
  • Crowbar sets Flair up on the floor, sets a chair on him, and Vader bombs him from the guardrail
  • Crowbar yells "My best friend" at David Flair. *sigh* And I remember when they met at that gas station.
  • Flair hits a chairshot from the second rope to the midsection.
  • Madden says the crowd goes nuts. Maybe a very bland peanut oil, but definitely not nuts
  • Flair locks the Figure Four but Crowbar breaks the hold with a cookie sheet
  • Crowbar with chops, the third one misses and Flair crotches him
  • This match gets this much time?
  • Mindbender onto a trashcan, and the Golden Monkey Wrench finishes it.
  • And Stacy Kiebler is back and tends to young David.
  • That was waaaaayyyyyy too long.
• The trainer and Stacy tend to David during the break... he inquires after the baby that isn't his
  • Knocked out by the wrench, brought down by the wench
• Shane Douglas enters with Torrie... maybe we should cut his damn music
  • Hey, I was right
  • WOW! Franchise channels Rick Rude and then introduces Torrie
  • Torrie attempts to speak and plays dumb.
  • Torrie calls the crowd in Rockford, IL cows.
  • She's from LA and she's beautiful so Shut Up.
  • Franchise takes the stick back
  • Shane says he's going to take Rection's belt, compares idiots in the front row to the MIA and mentions getting his ass Franchised.
  • Rection comes out with the entire MIA for...
• MATCH 4: General Rection v. Franchise (US Title)
  • Franchise targets the leg to start
  • Rection comes back with some chops, but Franchise goes back to the knee
  • Franchise locks on a Figure Four
  • Rection grabs the rope and Douglas breaks
  • Inverted atomic drop for Shane and then Shane gets dropped
  • Torrie mounts Rection, who sandwiches her against the turnbuckle
  • The referee screeches for medical help
  • Everyone appears concerned except Chavo who is upset that Rection isn't taking advantage and tried to push Wilson out of the ring
  • Trainer is out, EMTs are out, Tony is checking on her
• Let's take a moment to recall Torrie's storied career.
  • Torrie Wilson made her first WCW appearance in, I believe, early 1999, where she attempted to seduce a camera man which later turned out to be David Flair.
  • It was revealed that she was paid to seduce David to the Dark Side by Kevin Nash so David would betray his father, Ric.
  • Torrie was the offical woman of the nWo for a short time, winning a bikini contest at some Nitro in Florida.
  • But her feelings for David went betond money. She cared for the man himself... until she met Billy Kidman.
  • Then she left Kidman for Shane Douglas, and now shes being sandwiched by a man named General Rection.
  • We will miss her.
  • Wait... she's not dead. Never mind.
• Chavo is upset at Rection for not taking advantage of the situation
  • Maybe it's time for him to leave (I agree)
• MATCH 5: Rey Misterio/Konnan/Kidman v. Jeff Jarrett/Big Ron/Heavy D
  • JJ is out with Corpulent Ron and Obese D
  • I guess we're in for a six man tag
  • Dirty, filthy, that's the way they like
  • And this match will be taking place on Pier Six
  • Kidman with a huracanrana on Gerald
  • Tag in to Konann, Patrick with a knee to Konann's back
  • Tygress is with the announce team
  • JJ is in
  • Konann hits the back kick spin around facebuster (already)
  • Rey flies in
  • Rey hits his bulldog thing on Zan
  • Now Jaina is in, and the Wonder Twins take advantage of their 600 pound weight advantage
  • Every thing in this segment is a different version of let's drop Rey on his back
  • Here's JJ to save us
  • Springboard dropkick from Rey
  • Hot tag to Kidman
  • Dropkick, clothesline, dropkick, powerbomb
  • And Heavy D make the save
  • Chaos eruptd and JJ plays Musical Ninja and wrecks a guitar over Kidman's head
  • Referee misses the shrapnel and counts the 1-2-3.
• Gene O. is with Buff is the Stuff Bagwell
  • Bagwell has his opportunity tonight, and is going to take it
  • He's Buff, he's the Stuff, he laughs
• Crowbar walks with the Nitro Girls and Daffney returns
  • It seems Daffney and Ossie broke up, and she wants back in with Crowbar
  • But Crowbar doesn't need her now
  • Even so, you can tell he's hurting inside
• Mike Tenay chats with the Patron Saint
  • Stevie had a lot of emotion inside on Monday
  • No other superstars have a brother in the business like he does
  • (err... except Scott Steiner)
  • "Sometimes that's how the mop flops"
  • In 1993, Stevie Ray became a fulltime member of the WCW Roster
  • Ole Anderson and Dusty Rhodes were the bookers, they'd never dream they'd be 10 time Tag Champs
  • Where is Stevie Ray going now?
  • It seems the Saint likes Drag Racing and may go in for ownership of a racing team
  • Look at that
  • These aren't very tough questions, Tenay.
  • Stevie Ray thanks the fams for all of their support and the fan mail, and DDT Digest for canonizing him.
  • OK... maybe not that last bit, but wouldn't it have been cool if he did?

• Am I the only person happy to see Glacier back?
• No. I'm not. Just thought you might want to know where I stand.
• Bam Bam Bigelow enters so he can have...
• MATCH 6: Bam Bam Bigelow v. AWall in a Tables Match
  • The first man to put his opponent through the table wins
  • Bam Bam takes advantage of AWall being a big fat loser.
  • Come on, Bammer, bust out the cartwheel!
  • BBB goes for a powerbomb, but AWall BAck Body Drops out of it and hurls Bam Bam out of the ring, almost through the table
  • Slow brawling outside, just to annoy me
  • Bam Bam makes a cardinal mistake and enters the ring right after AWall, receiving a kick to the head for his trouble
  • Bam Bam kinda German Suplexes AWall through the table, but they both went through at the same time so the match continues (read: Bam Bam will lose)
  • On the outside AWall goes for a vertical suplex on the table, but Bam Bam blocks
  • Mike Awesome comes out from the crowd with a chair and introduces it to Bammer's back
  • AWall gently drops BBB on a table for the win while Awesome gives him the bad mouth
• Gene O. stands with 70's Guy Mike Awesome
  • It looks like we have BBB v. Mike Awesome at Starcade
  • "It's going to get nasty"
  • That's a good Starcade matchup
• MATCH 7:Buff Bagwell v. Big Poppa Pump (World Heavyweight Title)
  • It turns out Scott's last name is not Steiner, but "Outtacontrol" according to Tony
  • And curses are exchanged with the crowd as Mr. Outtacontrol enters
  • The champ has the stick and he tells Buff that he put Booker T and Sting in the hospital and ended Stevie Ray's career
  • But tonight he's in a good mood: he'll let Buff walk away
  • Buff appreciates it and he's going to walk aw- no, he's going to kick him in the stomach
  • Punch, punch, kick, out of the ring, choke, back in the ring, punch punch
  • Uh oh, Buff is caught, and now he's in the tree of woe
  • BPP pulls back on the injured neck
  • Tony: See the sadistic superstar Scott Steiner.
  • I want to hear Flair say that, just once
  • Steiner does pushups
  • Backbreaker for Bagwell, and Steiner jaws with the fans
  • Steiner with a big chop, and then chokes Bagwell on the ropes
  • Belly to Belly on Buff Bagwell
  • Slick Johnson gets some attention from Scotty
  • Surfboard for Buff but Bagwell powers out
  • Bagwell attempts to comeback, goes for a dropkick but BPP holds the ropes
  • Buff hits a DDT
  • Fans are legitimately hot for this
  • Inverted atomic drop from Bagwell, double arm DDT, not quite a neckbreaker, but Buff gets caught and set on the top turnbuckle
  • Sid's disembodied head taunts Steiner from the Turnertron, by calling him a dumbass
  • Buff knocks Steiner off and hits the Blockbuster but there's a kickout
  • Midajah is up top, Bagwell grabs her, drops her
  • Steiner clotheslines him and the Recliner ends it
  • Post-match Steiner puts the chinlock back on, but Sid appears at the top of the ramp
  • He doesn't make the save though... classy, Sid
• And we fade to black

The Good: Chavo's dissension with the MIA. Team Canada v. The Dragons was good, if sloppy. The main event was pretty solid, if not for the extra curriculars.

The Bad: Giving roughly four hours to a David Flair Match.

The Ugly: Having Sid, Big Ron, and Heavy D on my television. And that segment where we had nothing but vignettes and interviews. Did we find out what was up with Kronik, or did I miss it?