WCW Monday Nitro - January 8, 2001

By Aldo

Welcome back. Hopefully you readers out there enjoyed the holiday season and the cold weather that it brought. Even Florida dipped into the 30's, so I suffered as well as everyone else. I have nothing more to say since I haven't watched WCW in about three weeks, so we'll go straight to the report.
WCW Logo.
Some clips from prior WCW shows.
We are live from the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, MN for two hours of Nitro.
Tonight's announcers are Schiavone, Hudson and Disqo (replacing some recently dismissed announcer, I think it's John Madden's brother or something).
Ric Flair makes his way out.
- Ric goes for the cheap pop right off the bat by referencing the Vikings.
- Ric also uses the "greatest wrestling company" bit.
- Ric namedrops Mike Sanders and points out the boos.
- Ric wonders how Sanders got his commissioner job.
- Ric said Sanders won his post from The Cat via outside interference.
- At Sin, Sanders will defend his job against The Cat.
- Sanders looks perturbed backstage while watching this on a monitor.
- Ric talks about last Thunder's main event clusterf***.
- At this point, the Cowboy knock-off brings out Jeff Jarrett.
- Jarrett claims he's already received his slot for Sunday.
- Ric makes fun of the Tennessee Titans and says Jarrett wants a crack at his friend's world title.
- Jarrett says all he is doing is protecting Scott Steiner.
- Ric asks Jarrett if Steiner will be happy if Jarrett wins the title this Sunday.
- Ric says there WON'T be a three-way dance at Sin.
- The sirens bring out the world champ and his chick.
- Steiner says its him and Jeff against Ric's "so called mystery partner."
- Ric says the title match will be a four-way match, with Sid Vicious thrown into the mix.
- Steiner says he still likes the odds.
- Ric points out that everybody wants to be the champ.
- Ric brings up a situation from December 18^th where Jarrett entered a tournament for a title shot, and he plays the footage.
- Ric rolls some more footage at Starrcade 2000, where Jarrett mistimes a guitar shot and hits Steiner instead.
- While Jarrett tries to weasel his way out, Ric says that Steiner stands all by himself.
- Ric says "the number one wrestling show in the world" needs a great main event...
- Steiner vs. Jarrett.
- Steiner walks to the ring and says he wants to wrestle Flair.
- Ric brings up the Touch Me And You're F***ed rule, which sends Steiner to the back, but not without a few words for our C. E. O.
- Good opening segment. But Ric is losing credibility by calling WCW #1 when the ratings show otherwise. This is NOT a knock on WCW, so don't e-mail me over it.
Goldberg and The Sarge arrive. Goldberg threatens a couple of backstage workers by forcing them to release Kronik's whereabouts.
Mike Sanders whines in his office. Sanders books Ron Harris (who, along with brother Don, is decked in Armani) against The Cat.
Ric Flair (and some Power Plant trainees) walk backstage. Shane Douglas runs into Flair and quotes Raven. Flair books Douglas in a match against Sid Vicious.
Match #1: Shannon Moore (w/ Shane Helms) vs. WCW Cruiserweight Champion Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
- Coming out: Two-Count.
- Moore will be competing in singles action tonight.
- An updated version of Eddy Guerrero's heel theme brings out the cruiserweight champion.
- "Sugar" Shane Helms does commentary, in case three people isn't enough.
- Chavo gets the stick.
- Chavo refers to Helms as "little trooper."
- Chavo gets onto the apron and runs down Helms.
- Chavo says his match tonight is a non-title match, but Shannon says otherwise.
- If Shannon wins, Chavo faces the champ at Sin, not Shane.
- Moore knocks Chavo off the apron.
- Moore throws Chavo back inside.
- Moore flips over Chavo and they go to the ropes.
- Into the corner, Moore floats onto the apron and hits a corkscrew legdrop for two.
- Slugfest in mid-ring.
- Moore whips Chavo into the corner and hits Poetry in Motion.
- A second PoM is countered by Chavito.
- Back suplex gets two.
- Chavo with a loud chop.
- And again.
- Boot choke in the corner by the champ.
- Snapmare into a seated abdominal stretch.
- Chavo turns this into a chinlock.
- They get to a vertical base, and Moore hits a spinning heel kick after shoving Chavo into the corner.
- Victory Roll by Moore gets two.
- Chavo comes off the ropes with a boot and a clothesline.
- Moore counters a suplex with a roll-up for two.
- Chinlock again.
- Moore fights back and goes for the whip, but Chavo reverses and nails a dropkick for two.
- Off the ropes, Moore hits a kick, then goes to the ropes for a gullotine legdrop. It gets two.
- In the corner, Chavo goes up top, and Moore counters, but Chavo trips him.
- On the mat, Chavo gets two.
- Moore continues the comeback and gets a headscissors for two.
- Chavo gets out of a suplex, and Moore tries a slam.
- Chavo gets out, but Moore tries a sleeper.
- Chavo runs Moore into the turnbuckle back-first and finishes his opponent off with the brainbuster.
- YOUR WINNER: Chavo Guerrero, Jr. via brainbuster in 5:52.
- Post-match, a second brainbuster is foiled by Helms.
- Chavo re-enters the ring and gets sent out by Helms via a backdrop.
- Good TV match.
  ³/₄
Mike Sanders beats up Kwee-Wee (who has the Slim Jim guy hair-cut) until Big Vito makes the save.
Ric Flair is seen talking to Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell.
Match #2: The Cat (w/ Ms. Jones) vs. Ron Harris (w/ Don Harris)
- This is essentially a handicap match.
- Big "WWF Sucks!!!" sign is seen as the Harrises hit the ring.
- Cat says he's a bad man but not a crazy man.
- Cat says the fans want to see him as the commissioner.
- Cat says he wants Mike Sanders and then mocks the Harrises.
- Both brothers attack, and the bell sounds.
- Instead of wasting 15 bullets of text, I'll just use two to describe the match.
- Ron controls 90% of the bout, with Don helping out at various points.
- Cat makes the comeback, but the Harrises do the switcheroo and eventually hit a double-team H-Bomb when Ms. Jones distracts referee Jamie Tucker. Ron gets the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Ron Harris via H-Bomb in 2:43.
- For the record, the last match was about 10x better than this.
Gene Okerlund makes the brilliant discovery that Mike Sanders is trying to break The Cat down. Cat then embarrasses himself by doing a lame dance.
After a tech guy says "three," we cut to Hugh Morrus and Sid Vicious talking strategy.
Next match... oh wait, more talking. This time, dissention is teased between Jarrett and Steiner.
You don't want more talking? Too bad. Gene interviews Mike Sanders and the NBT. Sanders decides to book a "Minnesota Massacre" where Big Vito and Kwee-Wee will face "randomly selected opponents," most likely the Thrillers. Interferers will be dealt severe fines.
Luger, Bagwell and Kronik talk strategy. Buff kisses Kronik's ass while describing a possible tag team match vs. Goldberg and The Sarge. Kronik demands cash, but Luger says that it's a WCW-sanctioned match, so no payola.
Match #3: Lance Storm (w/ Team Canada) vs. Kidman (w/ the Filthy Animals)
- Storm wants to be serious for a minute.
- Storm refers to the Filthy Animals as vandals, as they trashed Team Canada's bus on Thunder.
- Storm challenges the Animals to a lame gimmick match (Canadian Penalty Box Rules) where wrestlers sit in a penalty box for one minute if they cheat.
- Immediately after Storm announces this, Tony Schiavone blathers that Storm never said how long the penalty time was. They fire Madden but not this guy?
- The Animals make their way to the ring.
- They go eye-to-eye and the bell rings.
- Storm slides under Kidman off a whip.
- Kidman with a headscissors.
- Kidman with a kick and he tries a suplex, but Storm blocks and does a front suplex on the ropes.
- Storm launches Kidman skyward off the ropes.
- Storm places a chair on a turnbuckle as the referee's back is turned.
- Storm counters a crucifix with a forward roll slam for two.
- Backbreaker into a submission leads to a two-count.
- Storm whips Kidman into an abdominal stretch as Scott James looks on.
- Kidman throws Storm over the rope, but Storm hits apron and yanks Kidman's head on the ropes.
- Back inside, Kidman makes the comeback.
- Kidman whips Storm into a back bodydrop.
- Kidman tries the turnbuckle bulldog, but Storm blocks.
- Storm walks into a Rydeen Bomb for two.
- Storm hits a standing side kick for two.
- Kidman about blows a roll-up for two.
- Into the corner (with the chair), Storm tries a roll-up, but Kidman kicks him into the chair.
- Kidman rolls Storm up for two when the heels break up the pinfall from outside.
- A huge brawl erupts, and Kidman reverses a piledriver into the Kid Krusher (Tomikaze) for the win!
- YOUR WINNER: Kidman via Kid Krusher in 4:06.
Two weeks from now, Nitro will air on Tuesday the 23^rd.
Match #4: The Franchise vs. Sid Vicious
- Douglas runs down St. Paul during his spiel.
- Douglas says that after he Franchises Sid, Ric Flair will have no choice but to put him in the four-way in the title match.
- Sid plays to the crowd on his way to the ring.
- Douglas attacks from behind.
- Douglas whips Sid to the corner but eats boot.
- Sid with a clothesline.
- They go outside, and Sid sends Douglas to the rail.
- Sid clubs Douglas on his chest.
- Sid hot-shots Douglas on the table.
- Another blow to the chest.
- Sid heads back inside, but Douglas cuts him off.
- Douglas with a swinging neckbreaker.
- Cover gets two.
- Douglas whips Sid, who barely sells being tripped.
- Douglas readies his chain as Mark Johnson tends to Sid.
- Big boot by Sid.
- Sid with a scoop slam and a legdrop.
- Sid signals for the chokeslam.
- Douglas counters with a chop to the neck.
- Sid blocks the Franchiser and hits the chokeslam.
- Powerbomb. Pin. Class dismissed.
- YOUR WINNER: Sid Vicious via powerbomb in 3:18.
- As Sid walks to the back, Steiner and Jarrett jump their opponent at the Sin main event.
  Ľ
Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair. Ric talks about some of the matches at Sin and announces that there will be a special referee match for the Team Canada/Animals Penalty Box match — "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Disqo then tops Tony's earlier gaffe by asking why Ric Flair would hire someone as a guest referee who has never done the task before. Disqo apparently wasn't watching Fall Brawl 2000 where Duggan turned heel as a special guest referee.
WCW Hardcore Champion Terry Funk makes his way out.
- Funk proclaims himself the king of hardcore wrestling.
- Funk complains about the quality of his opposition as of late.
- Funk wants the best WCW has to offer in a hardcore match.
- Is Funk hammered?
- Crowbar (and Daffney) come out for a gab session.
- Crowbar says he could hang with Funk during their Starrcade match.
- Why is Daffney playing with sparklers?
- Crowbar says he idolized Funk.
- Funk says Crowbar oughta look up to him, as should everyone else.
- Funk says he started ECW.
- Daffney's shirt reads "Hunger For Unger."
- Crowbar says Funk is old school and he is everything that is a threat to Funk.
- Crowbar rants some more, with the gist that he will lead the new hardcore revolution.
- Crowbar rushes the ring, and Funk bails.
- Funk rants at Crowbar and gets chaired from behind by Meng.
- Meng does the Tongan Death Grip on Funk and sidekicks Daffney as she tries to help.
- Crowbar sees this and charges at Meng with a balsa wood chair, but Meng TDG's Crowbar through the chair.
- Meng steals the hardcore belt and gets the mic!
- Meng: "You! And you! If you want this... come and take it from me!"
- The dialogue here is easily beaten by your average Hardy Boyz interview.
Jimmy Hart threatens us with more disc jockey matches.
We see an empty commissioner's office. No wait, a mysterious arm fiddles with an envelope in a jacket.
Match #5: Kronik vs. "Sarge" Dewayne Bruce and Goldberg
- The faces get separate entrances.
- As usual, if Goldberg's team loses, there is no more Goldberg in WCW.
- Brian Adams attacks Goldberg on the entryway.
- In the ring, Bryan Clarke has his way with Sarge.
- Clarke then focuses his attention on Goldberg outside.
- Kronik shove Goldberg into the stairs.
- In the ring, Clarke has his way with Sarge.
- Clarke targets the injured right arm.
- Sarge gets brought into the heel corner, and Adams is tagged in.
- Double-team clothesline.
- Adams whips Sarge and no-sells a kick to the gut.
- Adams with a press slam as Goldberg takes a swing.
- Sarge counters a suplex into a lousy DDT.
- Tags to Goldberg and Clarke.
- After a fireman's carry takeover, Adams gives Goldberg the full-nelson slam.
- Tony: "I've never seen Goldberg manhandled like this!" Just shut the f*** up, m'kay?
- Goldberg breaks out of High Times, sidekicks Clarke and spears Adams.
- Clarke interrupts in the corner, but gets whipped into his own spear.
- As Goldberg finishes off Clarke with the usual, Totally Buff lays waste to Sarge outside the ring.
- YOUR WINNERS: "Sarge" Dewayne Bruce and Goldberg via Jackhammer in 3:52.
- Post-match, Luger beats Goldberg with Sarge's cast.
- Buff with a chairshot to Sarge's arm.
- Buff then chokes out Goldberg with the chair.
- Luger takes out Brian Adams for no reason.
The acting in this Rascal Scooter commercial makes the dialogue in the Funk/Crowbar segment earlier sound like Shakespeare.
Match #6: Minnesota Massacre Match (Last Man Standing)
- The hardcore title match has been changed into a three-way with Meng added into the mix.
- Mike Sanders walks out in wrestling gear with The Envelope.
- Sanders talks about the envelope with the "randomly selected participants."
- All people not called are banned from ringside.
- Sanders tells David Penzer to read off the participants.
- The first participant is...
- Mike Sanders.
- Other "random participants" include Chuck Palumbo and Sean O'Haire.
- The next participant, however, is InSider DDP.
- The final particpant is Kevin Nash.
- The NBT contigent act shocked, despite their 3-2 man advantage.
- Sanders talks lip to DDP and gets punked.
- Nash does the usual to Sean O'Haire in the corner, but Sanders beans him with the tag belt.
- Sanders and O'Haire work over Nash while Palumbo deals with DDP.
- DDP makes the comeback on Palumbo.
- Big right on O'Haire but Palumbo decks DDP in return.
- Palumbo and O'Haire go for sidekicks, but DDP ducks.
- Sanders stands in the center of the ring as Billy Silverman counts...
- But DDP nails Sanders in the balls.
- Silverman restarts the count.
- No activity at five...
- DDP and Palumbo get up at 7.
- Nash punches away at O'Haire.
- Nash dumps Sanders as DDP plants Palumbo with a DDT.
- The rest of the Thrillers try to run-in, but various midcarders put a stop to that.
- DDP and Nash hit their respective finishers and they immediately win the match.
- YOUR WINNERS: DDP and Kevin Nash in 3:28.
- Despite the inherent idiocy of two men winning a Last Man Standing match, shouldn't the heels get a ten-count as well? Who booked this shit?
Match #7: WCW World Heavyweight Champion Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah) vs. "The Chosen One" Jeff Jarrett
- Tony Schiavone tells us to go to DDP's Official Website, in case he needs people to boo him again.
- Kind of odd to see the champ enter first.
- Steiner talks about all the people he's put in the hospital.
- Steiner says he and Jarrett share a common bond (they both hate Flair) so he won't wrestle.
- Steiner says we have no main event tonight.
- Jeff Jarrett paces backstage saying "This ain't happening."
- Commercials.
- Jarrett makes his way out.
- Jarrett calls Flair's booking "conspiracy crap."
- Jarrett says Flair makes the rules, but he and Steiner break them.
- Jarrett says he's putting tonight's match on hold.
- Ric Flair makes his way out.
- Flair says both participants are wrong.
- Flair says he will strip Steiner of the title if he doesn't wrestle.
- Flair says he will also remove Jarrett from the match if HE doesn't wrestle.
- As the bell sounds, Jarrett ends up shoving Midajah after threatening a guitar shot on Steiner.
- This leads to Steiner manhandling the challenger.
- Steiner whips Jarrett into the corner but eats boot.
- Jarrett chokes Steiner on the middle rope.
- Jarrett chokes Steiner with a bandanna.
- Steiner reverses a whip and nails his opponent with a clothesline and elbowdrop.
- Push-ups by the champ.
- Steiner picks Jarrett up but gets met with a jawbreaker.
- Atomic drop and dropkick follow.
- Jarrett goes up top and hits a bodypress for two.
- Steiner reverses a whip into a tilt-a-whirl side slam.
- Steiner with a powerslam on the padded turnbuckle.
- Steiner then goes outside to choke his opponent.
- Steiner jaws with the fans, leading to Jarrett attacking from behind.
- Steiner manages to whip Jarrett into the rail.
- And again.
- Steiner slams Jarrett on the announcer's table.
- Steiner taunts a female fan and gets nuttered by Jarrett.
- Back in the ring, Steiner kicks away on Jarrett.
- Jarrett with kneelifts.
- Steiner blocks the Stroke and sends Jarrett to the corner.
- Belly-to-belly suplex gets two.
- Sid Vicious runs in and does battle with the combatants.
- The Mystery Man makes his way in and the match is thrown out at 5:08.
- Tonight's Mystery Man is a couple inches taller than Jarrett (who is 6' 1")
- After 10 seconds of brawling, we fade to a Sin Promo and finally the broadcast ends, five minutes early as usual.
- It'd be funny if the Mystery Man unmasked at Sin as La Parka, but I know that will NEVER happen.
The Good: Shannon Moore vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. As much as the Cruiserweight division needs players, I think the Helms/Moore duo deserves a shot in the tag division. It would certainly elevate the two far more than what the Cruiserweight division could do.
The Bad: The Minnesota Massacre Match. Worst Last Man Standing Match I have ever seen.
The Ugly: The dialogue between Terry Funk and Crowbar. Arn Anderson needs to show Devon Storm how to cut an intense promo.

WCW Monday Nitro - January 8, 2001

By Aldo

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