WCW Thunder - Wednesday, 1/17/2001

• Howdy everyone, once again. I am Big Mike, and this is your Thunder report.
  • For the first time in a long time, I am excited about what is happening in WCW. I know it's only been two shows, but I like the direction they've been going in. Now, I'm just a fan, and I don't know all the answers. I'm not a closet booker, and I don't think I could do any better than any of the guys in the business. I do know one thing: I was marking out somewhat for Nitro on Monday, and that hasn't happened in a long time. I haven't seen Kevin Nash have that much intensity since he came into WCW. It was great! And Flair's heel turn and subsequent promo showcased once again why he was once the best heel in the business. They also showcased great talents like Chavo, the Jung Dragons, and in my opinion, one of the most underrated wrestlers in the business, Hugh "General Rection" Morrus. Let's hope they can keep it up.
  • Let's hope Bischoff, Bedol, and company upgrade two significant, but unappreciated parts of WCW: the production and the announcing. It's inexcusable to miss spots like Sean O'Hare's Sean-ton Bomb the other night and Crowbar's table shot on Terry Funk in the hardcore match. And when Jarrett was talking in the ring during Goldberg's "funeral" on Monday, the damn camera kept moving around so much, I thought I was going to get nauseated! As for the announcing, I haven't been as hard on Schiavone as some people. It's a damn hard job to do. But when you watch the WWF and see the way Jim Ross frames a match, and what Jerry Lawler adds to the broadcast (the way Bobby Heenan used to add to a broadcast in his heyday ten or so years ago), it's hard to get excited about Schiavone proclaiming every card "THE GREATEST/MOST IMPORTANT NITRO, THUNDER, PAY-PER-VIEW, etc. IN THE HISTORY OF WCW!!" It just doesn't go over very well. That being said, I don't know who the hell they'd get besides Ross himself. Everyone talks about Joey Styles, but he doesn't even come across as being real to me. He's a caricature, like Schiavone. So, as usual, I don't know the answers, but hey, I never claimed to know them.
  • Now, with a cold Shiner beer in hand, on to the show, if you wheel............

• We start with a montage of Sin and the excellent version of Nitro from Monday
• Wow, a new opening to Thunder. Actually looked pretty good.
• We are TAPED from Fort Wayne, Indiana for the first Thunder of the Fusient era.
• Let me say here, that one of the first things Fusient ought to do is stop taping Thunder right after Nitro. It takes all the heat out of the crowd. I mean that's four hours of wrestling in a row! How can you expect a crowd to be up for that long? Same with the old three hours of Nitro. It just isn't good business.
• Tony Schiavone and "Iron" Mike Tenay commentating. At least Tenay knows what he's talking about.
• The Cat and Miss Jones come to the ring. At least Miss Jones actually looks like she's having a good time out there. The Cat says he's "our" commissioner. He says he's going to "clean this place up." He says you can't keep a good man down just like you can't keep Goldberg down. Cat says he's a fighting commissioner. Cat calls out Buff and Luger and out they come. Buff says the Cat has a "big, ugly, stupid looking mouth." Cat tells them to shut the hell up. Luger calls Ric Flair "the President of WCW." What? Luger says the same thing that happened to Goldberg is going to happen to the Cat. Cat says bring it on. Cat calls Buff "Gilligan" because of the goofy hat he's wearing. Pretty funny. Buff and Luger come into the ring, but out comes Kronik to clear the ring! The Cat says Buff and Luger will face Kronik tonight.
• The Cat decides that now is the time on Thunder where we dance.

• Kwee Wee w/ Paisley vs. Rick Steiner
  • Kwee Wee says he's pissed Flair didn't ask him to be in the new group. He is in his manly mode. He keeps saying he's all man and issues a challenge to anyone in the back. Out comes Rick Steiner!
  • Damn, I hate Kwee Wee.
  • Steiner comes in and immediately catches Kwee Wee with a nice suplex
  • Steiner takes Kwee Wee outside and sends him into the rail.
  • Back in the ring, Steiner with a STIFF Steinerline. That had to hurt.
  • Elbow drop by Steiner and a two count.
  • Steiner with two more stiff pops to the face. Steiner: "Are you sure you really want to do this?" "You wanna be on Flair's team?"
  • Springboard and a sunset flip by Kwee Wee, but Steiner hits a bear hug reverse suplex. Ouch.
  • Man, I'd hate to wrestle Rick Steiner.
  • Steiner is on all fours barking at Paisley. Kwee Wee is coming back and pounding on Steiner, but Steiner no sells (of course). Release German suplex by Steiner. He goes up top and hits the bulldog headlock and it's mercifully over.
  • That was a terrible match. Steiner looked like he literally beat Kwee Wee down with as stiff as some of those shots looked.
  • YOUR WINNER: Rick Steiner via bulldog headlock.
  • Steiner gets on the mic and says, "I guess your audition is over." To Flair: "Come get some! If you don't like me, bite me!"

• Bam-Bam Bigelow vs. Meng for the Hardcore Title
  • Tony reminds us that Nitro is on Tuesday instead of Monday next week. At least they let us know this time.
  • Meng comes in and is immediately attacked by Bigelow
  • Meng is another guy I wouldn't want to fight
  • Tenay: "Note to self. Change strategy. Do not hit Meng in the head."
  • They are outside and Bigelow gives Meng a couple of chair shots, which Meng shakes off.
  • Bigelow throws Meng onto and over the announcer's table, and almost takes Tenay out of his chair!! Too bad, Schiavone's mic is still on. Meng then rolls Bam Bam into the ring steps.
  • To me, Bigelow is not a hardcore guy. He's gimmick has always been as a super agile big guy.
  • Schiavone likens wrestling Meng to trying to wrestle a Humvee.
  • The crowd starts chanting "Goldberg." Tony states how he still can't believe it. Shut up, Tony. We all know he's going to come back to a huge pop in a month or so.
  • Back in the ring, Bam-Bam is working on Meng's knee.
  • DDT by Bigelow. Meng is up, and gets the Goozle and then a power slam.
  • Meng goes up top and hits a Frog Splash for the win! Nice move.
  • YOUR WINNER AND STILL HARDCORE CHAMPION: Meng via the Frog Splash.
  • Two sucky matches in a row. If you like scientific wrestling, this ain't a good night for you.

• We come back from commercial with a Glacier promo, and another shot of Norman Smiley watching the video. Someone hands Smiley an envelope. Smiley obliges and reads it. It's from Glacier and says Glacier will be there to get Smiley's back.
• Backstage to Team Canada, and MAJOR GUNNS IS WEARING A LEATHER BODY SUIT!!!! Wow, that was the highlight of the show so far. Hey, Awesome actually looks better with short hair.
  
• Cut to Hugh Morrus talking to Lash and A-Wall about Chavo. A-Wall and Lash are calling him "Hugh" not General Rection.
• Hudson is interviewing Ron and Don Harris. Don is wearing a neck brace and says he fractured a vertebrae against Meng and he cannot wrestle again. He says his head may fall off his shoulder if he wrestles. Nice acting. Ron says he is embarking on a singles career. I can see it coming. We'll have a two Harrises for the price of one. Norman Smiley comes in and challenges Don to a match as we cut to commercial.
• Back from commercial, we see a limo pull up, and out step four lovely ladies, Ric Flair, another lovely lady (Midajah) and Scott Steiner. Animal is there to meet them. My question is: If this was taped right after Nitro, where'd they go to have to come back to the arena in a limo? It's not like Flair could do much stylin' and profiln' in Fort Wayne, could he?

• Norman Smiley vs. Ron Harris w/ Don Harris
  • This match sure isn't going to break the suck string.
  • Tony and Mike are talking about what a shame it is that Don can't wrestle again. Oh yeah. That's why they're dressed exactly the same. This angle is so telegraphed, it's not funny.
  • Drop kick by Norman and an arm drag takeover after about two minutes of no moves at all.
  • Tony says that Don in a neck brace takes away the Harrises switching out. OK, whatever.
  • Wow, another arm drag takeover by Smiley.
  • Another drop kick by Smiley, and Ron rolls out. Smiley is dancing in the ring.
  • Don comes back in with a big boot to the face of Smiley and a side scoop slam. Two count only.
  • Short arm clothesline by Ron, but Norman's foot is on the rope during the count. Snap suplex by Ron.
  • Ron throws Norman out, and then shoots him into the guardrail.
  • Both men are back in the ring now, and Smiley with an elbow and three wiggling clotheslines and a scoop slam. Ron is bent over the ropes and Smiley spanks him.
  • As predicted, the Harrises switch the neck brace and Don now comes in with a side slam for the win. The suck streak is still intact. Man, that was a bad match.
  • YOUR WINNER: Ron/Don Harris via side slam by Don Harris.
  • Screamin' Norman is looking around for Glacier.
  • Memo to Eric Bischoff: This ain't how to get your fans back, buddy.

• Totally Buff (Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell) vs. Kronik (Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke)
  • I just noticed, the last K on Kronik is backwards on their intro. Is that like the miniseries "Amerika" (with a backwards K) with Kris Kristofferson? That miniseries didn't get good ratings either.
  • The thing about Kronik is, they could be soooo much better than they are.
  • We start off with Adams against Luger. Slow match. Looks like the boys are back to normal after a good Nitro.
  • Adams presses Luger over his head and hits a back breaker. Piledriver now by Adams, but Buff breaks up the pin attempt. Didn't that used to be a finisher?
  • Now Clarke is again, and Buff tags in, and is welcomed by a Clarke power slam.
  • Clarke whips Buff into the ropes and hits a belly to back suplex.
  • The crowd is dead for this one. I don't blame them.
  • Adams comes in, and then Luger. Adams comes off the ropes and hits a double DDT on Luger and Buff. Luger then hits a clothesline on Adams and Buff hits a spinning neck breaker.
  • Lex and Adams are in while Tony keeps going on about Goldberg. Both men with the hot tag. Scoop slam on Buff by Clarke and a side slam on Luger. Flying shoulder block by Clarke on Buff. Here comes Jeff Jarrett. Guitar shot by Jarrett on Clarke, and it's over.
  • The suck streak is up to four.
  • YOUR WINNER S: Totally Buff via the guitar shot by Jeff Jarrett.
  • Here comes DDP to clear the ring!
  • That brings out Ric Flair, who calls DDP a wannabe. Flair says DDP looks like he has a lot of energy and that DDP will face Jeff Jarrett in the main event. Flair's music plays, and Flair, Jarrett, Buff, and Luger head out of the arena as Flair keeps calling his boys "the Elite." Is that the new word for nWo? I mean, they're a group of heels "taking over WCW" led by a heel who's also "head of WCW."

• Lance Storm and Team Canada come out with Major Gunns. Tony says Awesome looks good in that haircut. Storm states that they will have the last laugh against the Filthy Animals. And now we have the Canadian National Anthem. It is interrupted by the Filthy Animals music.

• Mike Awesome w/ Team Canada vs. Kidman w/ the Filthy Animals and Tygress
  • Tenay, as Schiavone is talking about Sin: "Speaking of Sin, it's a sin to look as good as Major Gunns." You said it, brother.
  • Kidman's ribs are taped.
  • Awesome goes out of the ring, and Kidman hits him with a shooting star press.
  • Back in the ring, Awesome works on Kidman's ribs. Drop slam by Awesome and a splash by Awesome.
  • Awesome throws Kidman out, and he is worked over by Storm as Awesome is "talking to the ref." Awesome goes outside and works Kidman over on the guardrail and with a chair shot to the ribs.
  • Kidman comes back in and Awesome gives him a sling shot splash and a body slam.
  • Awesome goes up top and stands there too long, as he misses with the frog splash.
  • Kidman hits a hurricanrana. Awesome rolls out, and Kidman gets a two count with a sunset flip.
  • Awesome clotheslines Kidman, and then hits a lariat off the top rope, but Kidman kicks out!
  • Awesome goes for the Awesome bomb, but Kidman reverses it to a bulldog. Kidman then hits Awesome with another bulldog and goes up top for the shooting star press. Awesome catches him up top and goes hits the running Awesome bomb for the win
  • YOUR WINNER : Mike Awesome via the running Awesome bomb.
  • Awesome and Storm try to cut Kidman's hair, but the Animals come in for the save.
  • I'm not sure if that breaks the suck streak or not. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say it does.

• We're back, and Scott Hudson is interviewing Chavo Guerrero, Jr. Chavo says he was just showing his stuff to the new bosses when he attacked Hugh Morrus on Nitro.
• We see a montage of Nitro.
• Back from commercial, we are reminded the Nitro will air on Tuesday because of the "Pretender 2001" movie

• Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hugh "General Rection" Morrus
  • I assume this is a non-title match.
  • According to Schiavone, Hugh "disrobes" on the apron. Just takes his shirt off, but it put a nauseating thought in my head.
  • Hey, would somebody decide whether they are going to call him Hugh Morrus or General Rection please??? This is annoying.
  • Gorilla press slam by Morrus. Morrus catches Chavo with a two-handed choke slam.
  • What the hell is this? Morrus has Chavo by the legs and puts him up on the top rope. He turns his back, but catches Chavo as he jumps off. Chavo hits a DDT though.
  • Man, there are a lot of seats pretty close to ringside that are empty.
  • Ouch, dropkick to the knees by Chavo. Chavo goes to work on the knees. The crowd is dead, man. Even the guy that Flair called "fat boy" on Monday is sitting down eating popcorn.
  • This is a slow match for these two guys. Knife-edge chops by Morrus/Rection.
  • Chavo continues to work on the knee of Morrus. Chavo with a stepover toehold, but Morrus kicks out and kicks Chavo over the top rope.
  • Morrus whips Chavo into the guardrail and is pummeling him. Chavo tries a drop kick, but Morrus swats it away.
  • Morrus with a release two handed choke slam, and then a sit down power bomb. Rection is going up top, here comes A-Wall to "cheer on" Morrus. Instead, A-Wall choke slams him off the top rope and Chavo gets the win. A-Wall and Chavo embrace. Lash Leroux comes in to stand with Hugh Morrus.
  • YOUR WINNER: Chavo Guerrero Jr. via a choke slam by A-Wall.
  • Dude, this sucks. I expected better from these guys. Talk about a crowd killer. Let's see three screw jobs and three clean finishes, and a dead crowd. This is the WCW that I have come to know and hate lately.

• Boys and girls, this one's hard to watch tonight.
• Back again and Scott Hudson is interviewing A-Wall and Chavo Guerrero, Jr. A-Wall says that Chavo tried to "preach" to Hugh Morrus and Lash LeRoux, but they wouldn't listen. That was a pretty bad promo.
• Sorry if I sound so negative tonight, but it's hard to get into this show.

• "The Chosen One" Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page
  • We see highlights of Sin, but thank goodness, not of Sid's broken leg.
  • Jarrett addresses the "Hoosiernuts." He says the DDP is out-numbered and will be out-performed.
  • We see DDP backstage, and he's WALKING!
  • And we cut to commercial?!?!?!
  • During the commercials, they show one for "Ripley's Believe It or Not" and a dude squeezing himself through a tennis racket. Boy, I'd need a big damn tennis racket to do that.
  • OK, we're back now, as DDP comes out. Page decides to go through the very sparse crowd, and then chases Jarrett out of the ring.
  • DDP starts quick with a few clotheslines and knocks Jarrett over the ropes with a lariat.
  • We are back in the ring quickly, and Jarrett is putting the boots to DDP.
  • Jarrett poses for the crowd, but DDP comes back and hits a sit down power bomb on Jarrett. Two count.
  • DDP comes back and tries to grab Jarrett, but Jarrett hits a back mule kick in DDP's cajones.
  • Jarrett has DDP on the ropes, and whips him in. DDP tries a sunset flip, but Jarrett gets out of it.
  • The crowd with a little "DDP" chant. Page comes back and whips Jarrett into the turnbuckle, but Jarrett counters with an elbow.
  • Jarrett puts DDP in the sleeper hold. DDP hits an elbow to fight out, but Jarrett immediately puts it back on DDP.
  • DDP finally fights out of it with an elbow and gets Jarrett in a sleeper hold, into sort of a reverse neck breaker. Both men are down. DDP goes for the cover, but only gets a two count.
  • DDP hits a version of the Rock Bottom, but only a two count. DDP is going up top. He hits a lariat off the top rope and signals for the Diamond Cutter. Jarrett fights it off. Here come the troops: Buff, Luger, Animal, and Scott Steiner. Now here comes Nash, Cat, and Kronik
  • And we have a no contest.

• And we are out. Oh, man. Tony's final line of the night as we fade to black is: "THEY WON'T STOP UNTIL SOMEONE DIES!!!!" That's the worst line I've ever heard. It did make me laugh, though.

The Bad: Seven matches, four screw jobs. WCW sunk back into mediocrity tonight with this show. No one was working as hard as they were on Monday, it looked like.

The Ugly: While Tony's ending rant (see above) was very ugly, I'll have to give it to the fact that Thunder is still taped right after Nitro, thus killing a tired crowd for the Thunder show. They are effectively writing off Thunder with this approach.

Well, adios everyone, I am Big Mike, and remember, as Robert Earl Keen says, "The road goes on forever, and the party never ends."