WCW Tuesday Nitro - January 23, 2001

• I didn't get much sleep and I am feeling uninspired so not much of an opener.

• Thanks to Aldo for sending me some Virtual Drugs to help me get through this show I am doing for him. I will tell you now I usually watch and tape the show and go a general outline of my recap and then watch it again and flush the report out and get in the details I may have missed the first time around. Don't even think about deluding yourself about this edition of Nitro. Whenever they get a night with no competition they usually end up putting on some of their crappiest stuff of the year and tonight was no exception. I think Aldo took tonight off because he knew this was going to happen.

• We are live? taped? from somewhere? Trust me when I say by the end of the recap your not gonna' wish you lived in this city.
  • Tony and Scott have announcing duties.
  • Maybe if they turned Tony heel he would get a chance to improve his announcing.

• Opening interview segment.
  • They recap the PPV and Nitro from last week.
  • Go read the report if you want to know what happened.
  • We get a shot of a ton of chicken wings that have already been eaten.
  • Jarrett, Steiner, Buff and Luger are watching a tape of Sid's leg getting broken.
  • This is from last week appearently.
  • Oy vey. They are are recreating the breaking of the leg by playing the tape and breaking chicken bones in concert with the tape.
  • Predictably Tony and Scott are disgusted.
  • They talk about the new ownership and how they have no Idea what the future holds for WCW.
    • They should get a magic eight ball.
  • Here comes Flair, Animal and Totally Buff.
  • "This is the greatest unit of all time"
  • Steiner and Jarrett are not yet in the house.
  • Flair says Steiner needs a great opponent for Superbrawl. So he ends up choosing Alex Wright.
    • Would be funny if they did it.
  • The crowd went mild over this as Wright came out.
  • They mock his dancing.
  • Wright gets out maybe six words and here comes Nash.
  • Wright yells at Nash in German and then hits him, Nash waits a minute and powerbombs him through the stage.
  • Wright was the number one contender for the world title?
  • Nahs says he is the number one contender.
  • Here comes James Brow...I mean The Cat.
  • Big Bad Stupid Poppa Dump vs Big Kevin Nash for Superbrawl.
  • Flair says Nash has to beat Buff if he wants to wrestle Steiner in Superbrawl.
  • Lex Luger will be your special referee.
  • The game of human chess continues and The Cat says Luger is already booked tonight.
  • Here comes DDP, the winner of DDP vs Luger will referee Nash vs Buff to see who will face Steiner at Superbrawl.
    • Write that down, it will be on the test.
  • Buff or Nash can't intefere or they will be suspended.
    • So of course Jarrett will interfere, DUH!.
  • The heels whine in the ring and the faces act happy on the rampway.

• Commercials.

• Mike Sanders talks to Chavo and A-Wall in the back.
  • Sanders talks about how Flair has taken him under his wing.
  • Sanders pumps Chavo up.
  • Tells him to watch the next match closely since he could be wrestling either of these next guys.
  • Chavo and A-Wall vs Rection and LeRoux tonight.
  • A-Wall says "The legend of the MIA ends tonight."
    • It was legendary?
  • Elsewhere Flair catches Steiner and Jarrett coming into the building and goes to give them an update on what's going on.

• Michael Modest VS "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels
  • If you read anything on the Net, Daniels is supposed to be the greatest thing since Shane Helms.
    • Little inside joke for ya'.
  • Modest comes in first and the crowd has no idea who he is.
  • Daniels comes in and looks EXTRA fruity with this collar around his neck.
    • If you could see Daniels you would definetly think he was a fruitcake extraordinaire.
  • They do some running reversals and whips and Modest comes out on top with a hiptoss and Daniels does a kip up.
  • Daniels tries to jump on the top rope but misses/slips and falls backwards on to his head.
    • If you read Foley's book you know he just lost his chance for a job.
  • They seem lost now.
  • Modest with a pumphandle fall away slam.
  • Daniels gets knocked out of the ring but he throws Modest into the railing.
    • This is not pretty, this match seems awkward.
  • Daniels ends up skinning the cat to go back in the ring and coming off the top rope with a splash on Modest outside the ring.
  • Split legged moonsault gets a 2 count on Modest.
    • The crowd could give a damn about this match.
  • Modest with a dragon suplex and a 2 count.
  • Daniels with a double springboard onto Modest and gets another 2.
  • Daniels screws up a butterfly powerbomb.
  • They exchange some chops and Modest runs into Daniels and they both go over the rope out on to the floor.
  • Uh-Oh, Scott Steiner is coming out.
  • No Winner due to both guys being killed by Scott Steiner in 6:54
  • Scott Steiner has a pipe and he works 'em both over.
  • Steiner uses the pipe to "break the legs" of both men.
    • He kinda twisted their legs with a pipe.
  • Midajah is nice enough to spit on both guys.
  • Steiner claims he broke Sid's leg and he explains how he did it.
    • This is the definition of a bad angle, Steiner had nothing to do with it except for the fact he was in the ring when it happened.
  • He is sending Sid a couple of Jabronies to stay with him in the hospital.
  • He threatens Nash.

• Commercials

• Here comes Kwee-wee w/Paisley
  • He is in Angry Allen mode.
  • He pisses and moans about Flair not excepting him into the Elite group.
  • Kwee-wee is all man, did you know that?
  • He challenges anyone in the building to a fight.
  • He starts talking trash to a tubby looking security guard.
  • He starts a fight with the guard and the rest of security breaks it up.
  • The crowd is totally dead for this segment.

• Commercials.

• Lance Storm w/Team Canada vs Konnan w/Filthy Animals
  • Here comes Team Canada and we get a recap of the hair cutting incident and Awesome beating on Kidman from Thunder.
  • I don't want to be serious for even a second.
  • Storm says the war has gone on long enough.
  • He challenges the leader of the Animals (Konnan) and the winner of the match wins the war.
  • Storm says Canada has never lost a war.
  • Of course the Canadien National Anthem is interrupted by Filthy Animals theme music.
  • It happens everytime but Storm still acts suprised.
  • If I saw myself looking like Konnan does, I would kick my own ass.
  • Dear lord, stop the pain Konnan has a mic.
  • Oil of Olay! Margaritas and Mazdas!
  • Some......real.....slow....mat....wrestling......to...start.
  • Konnan counters a Maple Leaf with a foot to the face.
  • Rolling clothesline already?
  • Animals and Team Canada brawl outside the ring and we aren't even a minute into the match.
  • The camerman managed to get a nice shot of some deep Gunns cleavage.
    • Sure they can get that but they can't catch a f'n high spot in a hardcore match?
  • Storm counters a facebuster and in a cool manuever rolled through an Irish whip into a Maple Leaf.
  • That pansy ass Konnan taps right away.
  • Your winner via submission by Maple Leaf, Lance Storm in 1:51
  • So this is the big blow-off to the Animals/Canada feud? A 2 minute match?

• Commercials.

• Nearly an hour into the show and we have had less than 10 minutes of wrestling.
  • You would assume you know, with no competition tonight they would try to win some viewers, not send them packing.
  • Even the commercials suck tonight.

• Shane Douglas talks to Buff and Luger.
  • Douglas mentions that no team is complete without a Franchise.
  • If he can take the Cat out he is in.

• Rection and Cajun with Mean Gene.
  • Looks like Mister Rection is going crazy.
  • Lash does the talking.
  • He is gonna stick with Rection to the end, blah blah MIA forever.
  • Rection speaks, Lash is his only friend.
  • In another WCW Homoerotic moment, Rection asks for Lash's MIA shirt.
  • Lash is discharged from the MIA.
    • This makes Lash look silly for the promo he cut.
  • General Rection is no more, Hugh Morrus is back baby.

• Luger and DDP are walking!

• Commercials.

• Lex Luger VS Diamond Dallas Page winner get to be referee of the main event
  • Wait, Buff Bagwell is in the Nitro main event?
  • Luger tries like hell to put me to sleep with his entrance but I fight it off.
  • DDP comes out through the entrance way, and then goes through the crowd.
  • Luger bitches about this to the announcers "The fastest way from point A to B is a straight line" or something like that.
  • Luger proceeds to start with the stalling.
  • They talk some trash and DDP punches him down so Luger bails and stalls some more.
  • DDP with a neckbreaker and a 2 count.
  • Discus lariat from DDP gets another 2.
  • Luger with a sneaky mule kick low blow and he takes over.
  • Luger hits a belly to back and gets 2.
  • Tony talking about Luger "He has always been somewhat of an enigma, I've never been able to understand him."
    • No one understands how Luger still has a job Tony.
  • The crowd seems to be coming out of their coma.
  • Luger....slowly....pounding.....on....DDP.
  • DDP charges Luger in the corner but runs into a big boot.
  • Luger with a little paintbrushing and some posing allowing DDP to make a comeback.
  • DDP weakly crotches him on the ringpost.
  • DDP hits a top rope clothesline.
  • Luger hits another low blow.
  • DDP fights back and makes the Diamond cutter sign, and wipes out the ref.
  • Here comes Jarrett but DDP is fighting both men.
  • A guitar shot from Jarrett knocks DDP loopy enough for Luger to get him up in the rack.
  • Your winner via knockout/submission with a Guitar shot/Torture rack, Lex Luger in 5:51
  • *yawn*

• Johnny the Bull and Big Vito VS Shawn Stasiak and Mark Jindrak
  • After an intial beatdown by Stasiak, Johnny comes back with a nice spin kick.
  • The announcers spent the entire match talking about the problems within the Thrillers.
  • Vito is in and Stasiak gets double teamed and they hit a weak version of the H=Bomb on him.
  • Jindrak tags in and runs into a drop toehold, Vito tags Johnny.
  • More Italian double teaming leads to a two count on Jindrak.
  • Tag to Stasiak and some generic brawling ensues.
  • Stasiak misses a corner charge and Vito comes in.
  • Stasiak hits a flying elbow and tags in Jindrak who hits a springboard moonsault and gets a one count.
  • Vito gets a double side slam and a double elbow drop, which leads to another two count.
  • The match starts to breakdown and Johnny gorilla press slams Jindrak.
  • Some crap happens and one man from each team has another man from the other team covered.
  • While the ref is trying to decide here come Palumbo and O'Haire.
  • Palumbo touches the ref and the Thrillers get DQ'd.
  • Your winners via Disqualification, The Marmalukes in 4:53
  • Post match, the Thrillers argue.

• Commercials.

• The Thrillers are arguing in the back.
  • Flair is there to give Sanders some advice.
  • He tells Sanders he needs to make a decision,
  • He needs to out think them.
    • If there is one angle I do like in WCW right now its this one. Ric Flair taking Sanders under his wing is a great idea. Sanders can already work the mic so Flair just needs to help him with some finer points. Let's not start putting pressure on him to be the next Flair though, ok?

• "The Franchise" Shane Douglas vs "The Cat" Ernest Miller w/Ms. Jones.
  • Douglas uses some cheap heel heat tactics.
  • Douglas and Flair finally have something in common, taking out the Cat.
  • James Brown is out with Miss Jones.
  • HA! The Cat must read DDT Digest because he asks Douglas if he said he was "Going to french fry him"
    • OK if he is gonna use my catchphrase. The Cat just became my favorite wrestler.
    • Here is where someone e-mails me to tell me someone else "on the net" has already been calling him "The French Fries"
    • That's fine and dandy ya'll but I have been saying this to my friends since he was in ECW. It just wasn't online.
  • Cat makes a match, Jarrett VS DDP at Superbrawl.
  • Somebody call his momma cause he is about to win the U.S. Title.
  • Flair appears on the Nitrotron. The Cat doesn't get a shot at the title.
  • Douglas gets a shot at The Cat's job instead.
  • Douglas starts pounding on Miller with a microphone and Flair says the match is No DQ.
  • Douglas puts Miller in one of those grapevine bridging submission holds I don't know the name of, but neither do the announcers.
  • Miller "Hulks" up and fights back, but Douglas pokes him in the eye and bodyslams him.
  • Douglas up top but Miller slams him down.
  • Miller slams his head ten times into the turnbuckle.
  • Now its ten punches to the head on Douglas and a back bodydrop.
    • "Little Natch" Charles Robinson is your referee, but nothing comes of it.
  • Douglas counters with another stunning eye poke.
  • Douglas goes for a sunset flip but Miller blocks it and gives him some crotch chops.
  • Sanders rushes the ring but Miller gets funky like a monkey on his ass.
  • Here comes more of the Thrillers and O'haire hits Miller with a spin kick.
  • Rick Steiner comes in to clean house.
  • Douglas gets a chain from his tights but Steiner waffles him.
  • Miller hits a superkick and gets a 3 count.
  • Your winner via pinfall by superkick, "The Cat" Ernest Miller in 4:20
  • Miller does his dancing and OH MY GOD, Steiner cuts a little rug with him.
  • Seeing Rick Steiner dance may just have saved the entire show from stinking like a dead skunk in the noon sun.

• Commercials.

• Hugh Morrus and Lash LeRoux VS A-Wall and Chavo Guerrero Jr.
  • Brawling to start and Wall dominates.
  • Morrus with a corner charge but Wall gets a boot up.
  • Morrus slams Wall and high fives LeRoux and the ref calls it a tag.
  • Chavo in the ring after some initial confusion about the tag.
  • Chavo attacks LeRoux from behind and throws him to Wall while he distracts the ref.
  • LeRoux fights back and hits a tilt-a-whirl sideslam on Chavo.
  • Lash with a clothesline and a 2 count.
  • Chavo tries to pick up Lash and hold him over his shoulder in a submission type hold but can't hold him.
  • Chavo goes flying to hit Lash but he ducks, and Chavo knocks Wall of the ring apron.
  • Chavo with a missle dropkick and Morrus saves at 2.
  • Chavo gets a 3 count from a roll up in the ring while Wall and Morrus brawl outside.
  • Your winner via pinfall by roll-up, Chavo Guerrero Jr, and A-Wall in 6:03
  • Post match Morrus gives Chavo a beatdown.
  • He gorilla presses him outside the ring into Wall, who no-sells the whole thing.
    • I can see that, Chavo must weigh 90 pounds soaking wet.

• Commercials

• Kevin Nash VS Buff Bagwell
  • Nash has to win to face Steiner at Superbrawl.
  • Luger gets another entrance and I fight a coma off, barely.
  • Luger taunts a huge (fat) guy at ringside who has a Goldberg shirt, for the second time tonight.
  • Here comes Der Stuff Buff Bagwell.
    • Satan just called, he wants some extra sweaters, hell just froze over because Bagwell is main eventing Nitro.
    • Buff = Ratings. Did you know that?
    • Sign your booking team is smoking crack, right here on TV.
  • They take turns holding each other's.....microphones and water bottles and posing for the fans.
  • Luger is gonna call the match right down the middle.
  • Buff thinks he is doing a hell of a job.
  • They play Bagwell's music again and we get some....

• Commercials

• Here comes Kevin Nash and the crowd goes mild.
• Luger has put on a ref shirt during the break.
• Buff poses and Nash hits him with...a knee of course.
• Nash with the usual stuff.
• Nash steps on Buff's neck and Luger tries to pull him off.
• Buff bails, Nash follows him, and Luger follows Nash.
• While stepping over the top rope Luger grabbed Nash's foot so Buff could crotch him.
• HA! Buff goes for a pin but Luger takes forever and a day to get in position. Nash kicks out before he can count one and Buff is annoyed with Luger.
• Buff hits the deadly reverse chinlock of "my ass is tired and needs a rest".
• Nahs comes back with a sidewalk slam and Luger counts two..as slow as he possibly can.
• Hudson "What is he counting in? Russian?"
• Nash hits a snake-eyes and Luger stops the count at 2.
• Nash goes for Luger but gets a low blow from the Total Package.
• Buff with a swinging neckbreaker and Luger suddenly remembers how to count to two, and he does it fast this time.
• Buff goes for a chair, but Luger takes it from him and holds it so Bagwell can kick it right into Nash's head.
• Luger helps stand Nash up for a Blockbuster but Nash ducks and Luger takes a minor hit.
• DDP in through the crowd and he gives Luger a Diamond cutter.
• Nash pulls the straps down and gives Buff a Jacknife powerbomb and counts the three using Luger's hand.
• Your winner via pinfall by Jacknife powerbomb, Kevin Nash in 7:00
• Post match, here comes Steiner with a lead pipe beatdown for Nash.
• Kronik in to pound on Steiner.
• Animal in to pound on Kronik.
• Jarrett in to pound on DDP and we have a big mess in the ring as we fade out.

• I would like to thank my wife for helping me take notes and getting this done on time.
• I will hunt Aldo down and kill him like a dog for skipping out on this Nitro. Just kidding, feedback is always appreciated.

The Bad: The matches, the booking and the general crappiness. They blew another shot to win some viewers back.

The Ugly: To qoute Homer Simpson "This is the suckiest bunch of suck to ever suck" I kept looking for a postage stamp on my screen, cause every wrestler out there mailed it in.