WCW Thunder, 2/7/2001
WCW Thunder - Wednesday, 2/7/2001
- Howdy everyone, once again. I am Big Mike, and this is your Thunder report.
- Let's trying something new here. Anyone who has any comments about the new direction of WCW (where it's going, where it should go, etc.), e-mail me here. I will post the best of them next week in the Thunder report. You hear my views every week, now I wanna hear yours.
- I don't know (and don't care) what anyone else thinks, I thought booking a Dusty Rhodes run-in last week was great. I think I was among the many saying, "How the hell is Dustin Rhodes considered a major star?" Dustin actually had some pretty good lines, though. But when the American Dream himself came in, I was fired up. Reminded me of days gone by. Which is OK, as long as that's not what you see week after week after week after week (got it, Hogan?). Best line of the night by Dusty: "Hey, Animal, look at you all puffed up. You're all puffy, but when you come back in here, you're going to find this ol' fat boy from Austin, Texas will kick your ass, too."
- On the other hand, this week's Nitro sucked a--. Who didn't see Rick Steiner's heel turn coming when he came out as the "mystery partner"? And they also let down fans with the whole idea of a "mystery partner" in the first place. You think fans weren't pissed when Steiner came out? Hell, if you're going to tease a mystery man, better make it somebody good, like Goldberg or even Scott Hall or Jesse James Armstrong. I know I turned off Nitro when Rick Steiner came out because I knew exactly what was going to happen. This is the exact opposite of why I liked Nitro the week before.
- Memo to Eric Bischoff: We like to be surprised. We don't want to see the same crap week after week after week. Why don't you go back and watch how the ratings dropped and dropped as the nWo angle dragged on and on and on.
- Memo to Eric Bischoff (Part 2): If you show me Scott Steiner squashing (and thus effectively killing the credibility of) four cruiserweights at once ever, ever again, I will cuss so loud that all of freakin' Houston can hear me. What a joke. Not even Vinnie Mac would dare try to pull that one off. Horrible.
- Now, with a can of Coors brewed cold from a mountain stream, on to the show............
- We start with a montage of Nitro from Monday.
- We are TAPED from Tupelo, Mississippi.
- Tony Schiavone and Mike Tenay commentating.
- We open with a match again!
- Shane Helms vs. Kaz Hayashi
- Tenay states that this is a qualifier for a cruiserweight six-man four corners match (huh?) at Superbrawl with the winner to be the number one contender for the Cruiserweight title.
- Tenay and Tony say they never saw the Rick Steiner heel turn coming. Oh, yeah right.
- Kaz with some kicks in the leg working on the knee of Helms, and a nice spin kick by Hayashi!!!
- Shane with a suplex attempt, but Kaz reverses out of it.
- Tenay says there are four more spots to be determined in the six-man cruiserweight match. Have we already got one in?
- Helms lifts Hayashi out and hits a slingshot body block out of the ring. Kaz reverses Helms into the ring.
- Wow! Guillotine leg drop by Hayashi on the apron. Hayashi flips Helms back in the ring.
- Shane misses an elbow drop. Kaz hits a head scissor takeover.
- Helms is out and Hayashi hits a suicide dive!
- Kaz sets Helms up top after he gets out of the Nightmare on Helms Street attempt. Kaz tries a frankensteiner, but misses.
- Helms with a Sugar Smack.
- Here comes Chavo out to "scout" the match.
- Helms with a side jawbreaker and then a spinning neckbreaker. Helms calls for the vertebreaker. Helms pulls away to go after Chavo. Hayashi hits the spin kick and the German suplex and it's over..
- YOUR WINNER: Kaz Hayashi via the German suplex.
- Pretty good match.
- Cut backstage to Norman Smiley telling Glacier to show up earlier tonight. After Smiley leaves, Palumbo and O'Haire go in Glacier's locker room, and apparently punk him, as we hear some screams. It takes like five seconds. O'Haire says, "I kept stepping on his cape." That was weird.
- Flair and company come out (including Rick Steiner). Flair says once again this is the most elite wrestling group today. Flair states that they're going to wreak havoc on anyone who gets in their way on the way to Superbrawl.
- Big Poppa Punk comes on and says that they are getting stronger now that his brother has joined. Steiner goes on about hurting Sid Vicious, Sting, and Booker T. OK, whatever. He says Nash made a mistake thinking his brother would go against him. Rick comes on and says that he turned because "you always back your brother's play." They're on the entrance ramp as Nash's music plays. Nash, Cat, Miss Jones, DDP, and Brian Adams show up in the crowd.
- Nash says he doesn't know who's stupider: himself for trusting Flair or Flair for betraying him. Nash says it's him and Luger tonight. He says Luger better bring some extra oil tonight, as he's facing Brian Adams. Ha! Flair calls out the Cat. Nash says he and DDP want the Steiner brothers. Somehow it gets to be Rick Steiner and Jarrett against Nash and DDP.
- Flair mentions the "Magnificent Seven" again, and tells Cat that Lance Storm will name the opponent for the Cat tonight.
- Well, that advanced some story lines.
- Back from commercial, Flair, Animal, and the Steiners are talking. Scott Steiner wants to wrestle, but Flair says to let his brother do it because Scott Steiner is the man, and to let someone else do it.
- Norman Smiley vs. Sean O'Haire
- Oh, that's why they punked Glacier.
- Why are they putting O'Haire in singles competition? And against Norman Smiley?
- Snap mare by O'Haire.
- After a brief comeback by Norman, O'Haire with a few soupbones to the face.
- Arm drag takedown by Smiley.
- Lariat by O'Haire. O'Haire goes up top. Sean-ton bomb. Nice move. It's over, thankfully. Smiley had no offense to speak of.
- YOUR WINNER: Sean O'Haire via the Sean-ton bomb.
- Here comes Mark Jindrak to the ring. As Jindrak is distracting O'Haire, Shawn Stasiak comes out of the crowd to attack O'Haire. Now they're both attacking O'Haire. O'Haire's back up as, as, as they're showing two guys in the crowd booing! What the hell? Oh, now we're back, and both men are attacking O'Haire again. Here comes Chuck Palumbo from the back. He hits the shoulder block off the top rope onto Jindrak, and now Palumbo clears both men out of the ring.
- Sounds like they're piping in crowd noise again. That sucks.
- We come back from commercial, and Flair is talking to Animal when Mike Sanders comes in. Flair says he is sorry for last week, and that Sanders can have Konnan tonight.
- "The Cat" Ernest Miller w/ Miss Jones vs. for the ???? Commissionership of WCW
- The Cat comes out first, and then Lance Storm comes out with a microphone. It's got to be Mike Awesome or Elix Skipper, right?
- Storm says he's not usually the one out there talking. Huh? He says the Cat's usually doing that.
- Storm says the opponent is going to be "Primetime" Elix Skipper. Yup.
- Both men pose to try to pop the crowd.
- Super kick by the Cat right off the bat.
- Skipper pounds on the Cat, and then goes over to hit on Miss Jones. Are we going to see a Miss Jones heel turn at Superbrawl?
- Skipper throws Cat out. The Cat gets thrown into the rail. Primetime throws the Cat back into the ring.
- This match blows.
- Guillotine leg drop by Skipper, but the Cat kicks out. The Cat comes back with several kicks.
- Feliner attempt by the Cat, but Skipper avoids it. Skipper goes for overdrive, but the Cat reverses it into a forward roll.
- Primetime goes up top, but the Cat hits him with a double axe handle and a Feliner and it's (mercifully) over.
- YOUR WINNER: The Cat via the Feliner.
- The Cat dances.
- Storm comes on the mic and says "Turn that garbage off." Storm asks if the Cat is man enough to pick it up a level. Out comes Mike Awesome. Awesome Pearl Harbors the Cat from behind and then hits a frog splash.
- Mean Gene is interviewing Totally Buff. They don't say anything important. Something about Brian Adams and the "time-limit draw" from last Monday.
- Cut to Chavo talking to the Wall. Chavo tells the Wall to take out Rey Misterio, Jr. No, no, please no. As we cut away, there is maniacal laughter in the background.
- Kwee Wee (by himself) is walking by some jobbers in the back as they are laughing at Kwee Wee. Kwee Wee picks on the smallest guy and says he wants a piece of him tonight.
- Flair is trying to tell Steiner to focus on Superbrawl backstage.
- Lex Luger vs. Brian Adams
- Adams attacks Luger outside the ring to start.
- Adams throws Luger back in the ring.
- This is a brawl. They are back outside and Luger throws Adams into the steps.
- Now Luger throws Adams into the rail. The Package poses.
- We're back in the ring now. Luger with a belly to back suplex. A two count.
- I think I'm going to get depressed covering Thunder. It's like WCW Saturday Night or something.
- Bear hug by Luger. Gosh, this match sucks a big one.
- Head butt by Adams to break free. Adams blocks a snap suplex attempt by Luger, and Adams hits a suplex of his own.
- Backbreaker by Adams. How much you want to bet we don't see a clean finish here?
- What do you know? Out comes Buff Bagwell. Adams punks him outside the ring. Adams comes back in and his the full nelson slam for the three count!!!! Semi-clean finish! Semi-clean finish.
- YOUR WINNER: Brian Adams via the full nelson slam.
- Buff comes in, but out comes Bryan Clarke to fight off Totally Buff!
- A dog of a match, but at least it was a clean finish (sort of).
- Rey Misterio, Jr. vs. the Wall w/ Chavo Guerrero, Jr..
- This can't be good. I don't even feel like watching this.
- The Wall, with his spike, looks like a character on Super Mario Brothers.
- Rey up top, but the Wall catches him. THIS BLOWS, ERIC!!! THIS IS NOT ENTERTAINING!!!
- Rey has the sleeperhold on the Wall, but of course the Wall gets out of it.
- The Wall goes up top and lifts Rey up with one arm and throws him down.
- The Wall tosses Rey out and Chavo Guerrero works him over.
- The Wall goes outside and throws Rey into the steel steps.
- F*** you, WCW.©
- The Wall throws Rey back in the ring.
- Tenay finally says something intelligent: "This is painful to watch." You got it, buddy.
- The Wall goes up top to splash Rey, but Rey moves out of the way. Rey finally hits a slingshot splash on the Wall. Chavo comes in, but Rey throws him out and does a moonsault on Chavo. As the referee is watching Rey and Chavo, Hugh Morrus comes in and gets a moonsault on the Wall. Rey comes back and hits his own moonsault on the Wall and Rey Misterio, Jr. wins!
- YOUR WINNER : Rey Misterio, Jr. via the moonsault.
- Morrus and Misterio clear the ring. It still sucked. With apologies to Aldo, that would be about five crying Indians there.
- Kwee Wee vs. Who?
- Kwee Wee gets on the microphone and says he will not be ignored. Kwee Wee pulls some "fan" out of the stands and pulls him into the ring. I'm not even gonna describe this.
- The guy Kwee Wee taunted in the back comes in. Missile dropkick by the guy (Johnny Dodson according to Tenay).
- That's about it. It's squash city after that. Piledriver and it's over. And the crowd goes wild.
- YOUR WINNER: Kwee Wee via the piledriver.
- F*** you, WCW.©
- "Above Average" Mike Sanders vs. Konnan
- Konnan gets on the mic. I can't understand him. He talking in Pig Latin or something. Schiavone, laughing: "Word." Nice attempt, at least.
- Knee to the chest by Sanders. Two count.
- Sanders taunts the fans.
- Konnan comes back with a kick to the face.
- What did I do to deserve this? I'd rather watch "Temptation Island" while eating a pile of crap.
- Konnan with a lariat. Hip toss now and an arm drag takeover. Face jam by Konnan. He goes for the tequila sunrise. Sanders taps out quickly. It's over.
- YOUR WINNER: Konnan via the tequila sunrise.
- Yuck. Sanders is better than that. Konnan is not.
- Gene interviews the Harris brothers. OH NO!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!! GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!!!!! Don says he has a manager's license. Good, they're not wrestling tonight.
- DDP and Nash are WALKING!!! Uh-oh, now Jarrett and Rick Steiner are WALKING!!!!
- Kevin Nash and Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner
- Nash and Page come in and all four men go at it!!!
- Nash and Page clear the ring of the bad guys.
- It's going to be Page and Jarrett to start the match.
- Page with a couple of nice clotheslines. Page slides around a dropkick attempt by Jarrett.
- Jarrett throws Page into a Rick Steiner clothesline and hits a DDT. Jarrett tags Rick Steiner in.
- Is "You want some, come get some. You don't like me, bite me." all Rick Steiner can say? He says it again.
- Now Jarrett is back in the ring. He drops a clothesline on Page, and tags Steiner back in. As the ref is keeping Nash from coming in, the heels work over Page.
- Jarrett goes for the cover, two count.
- Sleeperhold by Jarrett.
- Sleeper into a reverse neckbreaker by Page! Both men are down. Jarrett tags Steiner, and Steiner stops Page from making the tag. Belly to belly suplex by Steiner. Two count. Jarrett is back in.
- Again, both heels work over Page as the ref holds Nash back.
- Page hits a clothesline on Jarrett and both men are down. Page gets the hot tag to Nash, finally, as Jarrett tags Rick Steiner. Nash hammers both men.
- Nash hits a side slam on both men. Boots to both of their faces and Jarrett goes out.
- Jarrett and DDP are outside fighting, and Nash hits the powerbomb on Rick Steiner. It's over! Clean finish! Clean finish!
- YOUR WINNERS: Kevin Nash and Diamond Dallas Page via the jack knife powerbomb.
- Scott Steiner and Totally Buff appear on the ramp. Kronik comes out to join DDP and Nash in the ring as we fade to black.
- The Good: The cruiserweight match. As usual.
- The Bad: The rest of the whole show was horrible! What a waste of everyone's time.
- The Ugly: Kwee Wee. He stays on here until he gets a different character or until he's off my TV. And, believe me, it's very ugly. I'd like to see Steve Corino come in and just start beating the snot out of Kwee Wee. Hell, I wouldn't care if Hogan came back if he beat the snot out of Kwee Wee. How annoying.
- Well, adios everyone, I am Big Mike, and remember, as Robert Earl Keen says, "The road goes on forever, and the party never ends."