IF WCW DIES, HERE'S ONE OF ITS KILLERS
This just might be WCW's last-ever pay-per-view.
Greed. Sort of a fitting name, since greed is one of the reasons the company finds itself in such a sad state.
The men at the top of this company during its 1996-98 salad days suffered from greed. They hung onto their positions without caring much about the company — their greed was for glory and power. And of course, for big, fat Ted Turner-financed paydays.
These men didn't listen to what the fans were telling them, and many mistakes were made. Old guys were kept on top too long. Young guys were held back or allowed to walk away to the competition.
And here we are now... at a point where Ted Turner can't protect the company anymore. The new mega corporation that Turner is a part of wants no part of a money-losing wrestling operation. And the would-be buyer is afraid that WCW is beyond repair.
This might indeed be the last WCW pay-per-view. Ever.
If this is it, I have to say I feel pretty sad about it.
I think many of us feel the same way. We've watched this company fumble these last three years or so, but before that, there was the nWo, there was Sting, Harlem Heat and Cactus Jack, there were the Hollywood Blonds... the monstrous Vader... Flair vs. Steamboat... Night of the Iron Men... so many good memories.
But the bottom line is that for all the good things WCW brought us over the years, it also gave us a lot of crap.
And when you don't listen to your fans, when you don't hang onto young talent... you can't survive. Not when Ted Turner isn't there to issue blank checks anymore.
Okay. Rant's over.
To celebrate WCW, I'd like to present some of the company's greatest moments in this report. You'll find them between the match recaps. Enjoy.
And thank you Eric Bischoff...
Onto the show.
- Kwee-Wee out first. The announcers are pushing Jett as some sort of wonderkid.
- Kwee attacks and they take it outside.
- Jett leaves Kwee-Wee lying outside and hits him with a flying body block from the top.
- Inside, Jett hits a slam and plays the crowd.
- Legdrop from the top. One count.
- Punches, chinlock, pendulum surfboard. Two.
- Kwee rallies, and tosses Jett outside by his hair.
- Kwee tries a crappy suicide dive and misses.
- Jett runs at Kwee, who tries to flip him into the ring. Jett bounces off the ropes and hits a DDT.
- Inside... Jett with an afterburner, standing moonsault and two.
- Some brawling.
- Kwee throws Jett over the top and to the floor.
- Outside, the Kweeman chokes Jett. He covers, but it's not falls count anywhere.
- Kwee-Wee whips Jett into the rail twice and mouths off to David Penzer.
- Inside, Kwee covers for two.
- Jett battles back with punches, but Kwee-Wee hits a Thesz press for two.
- Kwee smashes Jett's face into the mat several times.
- Stomping. Chin lock. Nice hair.
- Kwee-Wee with a supplex. Two.
- More stomping. Feel like I'm watching Bruno Sammartino.
- Man, that's nice hair.
- To the corner, Kwee-Wee tries a move from the top, Jett tries a powerbomb, and Kwee-Wee reverses it with a hurancanrana. Nice.
- Kwee covers. Two.
- Kwee with a tilt-a-whirl pancake. Two.
- Kwee-Wee signals for the piledriver.
- Jett hits him low.
- Jett regains the offence by springing off the ropes and hitting a flying elbow.
- Kwee-Wee escapes Jett's finisher, and hits a sunset flip for two.
- Kwee with a northern lights supplex. Two.
- They bump heads in the corner. Kwee-Wee falls outside.
- Jett asks the crowd to be quiet as he plays possum.
- Kwee to the top, and he misses a flying elbow.
- Jett hits his throw away supplex finisher, the crash landing.
- Three.
- Good opener.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1999 — STING DEALS WITH A DOG ATTACK
- Okay... so I haven't been following lately. Cruiserweight Tag Titles? Excuse me? When did this division get some prestige back?
- I still have nightmares about Oklahoma and Medusa.
- Romeo and Kidman start.
- First decent spot: a Kidman headscissors from the outside.
- Romeo gets the advantage with a reverse power bomb.
- Skipper in. He stomps Kidman. Two count. Humperdido!
- Kidman gets the advantage. Rey in with a flying legdrop on Skipper.
- Rey with a leapfrog. He eats a forearm and responds with headscissors and a bodyscissors which puts Skipper outside.
- Baseball slide by Kidman and all four men brawl outside.
- The bad guys are knocked from the ramp to the floor.
- Kidman and Rey get on the ramp, take a run at their opponents, and fly
on down.
- The rasslers make their way back to the ring.
- Rey and Kidman with a double slam on Skipper. Two.
- Kidman knocked outside by Skipper. Romeo goes to work and throws Kidman back in.
- Romeo tagged in. Stomps. Clothesline. Choke.
- Into the corner. Kidman absorbs a few chops and lays down a few of his own and then hits a clothesline.
- Romeo turns a pancake into a bulldog. (Hey, isn't that the name of a Frank Zappa song?)
- The bad guys stomp Kidman.
- Kidman gets out of a chinlock, but Romeo stops the offence with a gutbuster supplex.
- Skipper in. He stomps Kidman. Choke over the rope.
- Kidman and Skipper battle outside.
- Inside, Skipper puts Kidman up top, and absorbs a sit-up power bomb from Kidman.
- Rey in. Romeo in.
- Rey with a crossbody block and a DDT.
- Skipper intervenes and misses Rey with a spear in the corner.
- Skipper's outside, where Rey leaps onto him. Romeo onto Rey. Kidman onto both of his opponents with a shooting star press.
- Rey throws Skipper inside.
- Rey and Skipper fight on the top turnbuckle.
- Rey turns it into a sunset flip. Two.
- Skipper turns a standing chinlock into a painful looking backwards headlock takedown.
- The bad guys beat up Rey.
- Romeo covers and gets two.
- Kidman with a bulldog on Romeo.
- Rey holds Romeo in place as Kidman leaps off the top. Two.
- Kidman with a baseball slide into Skipper. Rey with a bronco buster.
- Skipper and Kidman fall outside.
- Rey tries a second rope moonsault on Romeo.
- Romeo catches him, hits a piledriver slam, and scores the three!
- Good match.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1994, 1996, 1997, 1998 & 1999 — HOGAN WINS THE WORLD TITLE AGAIN AND AGAIN
- Buff Bagwell has hired a camerman to shoot him yakking with Flair, Animal and the rest of the Magnificent Seven. They hype the rest of the night's matches. Yay.
- Exciting.
- Stacy's out first.
- Stasiak follows, attempts to get some Rick Rude heel heat on the microphone, and then he throws pics of himself into the crowd.
- Bigelow follows.
- It's not much of a match.
- After stalling for a bit, Stasiak does his best to get away from Bigelow, and he runs outside.
- They trade the advantage a few times, and take it outside.
- Lots of brawling.
- Inside, Stasiak keeps the advantage with more brawling.
- Bigelow hits a flying head butt, and gets ready to apply the Greetings From Asbury Park when Stacy distracts the ref.
- She throws Stasiak some deadly hairspray.
- Hangman's neckbreaker, and Stasiak gets the three.
- Yawn.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1998 — CHUCKY PLUGS HIS MOVIE ON NITRO
- The Cat says something.
- Skipper and Romeo put the tag belts on each other and embrace in a manly way.
- Match highlight: Konnan hits the rolling clothesline and grabs his
crotch.
- Aside from that, it's a nothing match.
- Yes, Storm and Awesome are solid, but the action is as generic as it gets in a tag team match. Trust me, you've seen this match hundreds of times before, just with different wrestlers.
- It ends when Awesome pins Morrus following a power bomb.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1990 — STING AND ROBOCOP FIGHT CRIME
- Dusty Rhodes talks to his son Dustin as a delivery of about 20 burritos (which Dusty counts as 240) arrives.
- Dusty says his butt's gonna be nice 'n stinky for the match later.
- Buff and Rick Steiner yak about how great they are.
- Hey Buff... you haven't done anything interesting since you were nearly cripped on television, you know that?
- Nitro Girls lead Shane to the ring.
- Chae, my sores have cleared up... why won't you respond to my e-mails?
- Erm... never mind. Back to the match.
- The rasslers lock up and actually get down to some mat wrestling for a few minutes.
- Headlocks, armbars, hammerlocks... then Chavo hits a nice clothesline and goes to work in the corner.
- Shane counters a belly-to-back supplex with a salto. Fist off the second rope. Two.
- They trade counters until Chavo hits a t-bone supplex. Two.
- Chavo puts the boots to his challenger.
- Back to the mat, Chavo uses a variation of the STF and then goes to a toehold and a full STF.
- Shane with an elbow to escape, Chavo with a toehold, Helms with a headlock counter, and Chavo starts with the chops.
- They brawl a bit. It's not your traditional cruiser match.
- Chavo counters Shane's attempt at a power bomb with a DDT. Two.
- Chavo sets Helms in the corner and hits a dropkick.
- Pumphandle slam. Two.
- Helms blocks a supplex and gets monkeyflipped over the top. Sloppy.
- Chavo to the top with a bodyblock.
- They fight outside.
- Inside, Chavo gets two.
- He tries a supplex and Helms hits a facebreaker to the knee, and a neckbreaker.
- Helms flips Chavo to the apron, where he smashes his face against the ringpost and then he kicks the champ to the floor.
- Inside, Helms scores two.
- Chavo ducks a kick, and hits a pancake. Two.
- Helms blocks a tornado DDT, he blocks a pumphandle, and hits The Nightmare on Helms Street. Chavo puts his foot on the rope to break up a pin attempt.
- Chavo regains the advantage, but is tossed outside.
- Helms to the top with a frogsplash.
- Chavo rolls in, Helms to the top with another splash. Two.
- Slam by the challenger. He goes to the top again.
- Chavo brings him down.
- After attempting a pin, Chavo sets up for a top rope move.
- Helms reverses it and hits the vertebreaker for the pin and the title.
- Another good cruiser contest.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
2000 — THE DOG POOPS, AND KNOBS SCOOPS
- More Buffcam, this time with Jarrett and Flair talking.
- Booker T talks.
- Don't hate the player, hate the cliche.
- Trust me, I'm not shortchanging you on this review.
- It's just that this match is a squash.
- Palumbo and O'Haire make short work out of Bagboy and Loser.
- Four-man brawl to start.
- Buff down and the champs double-team Luger.
- Buff attacks from behind, holds O'Haire in place as Luger misses a running forearm and nails Bagboy.
- Palumbo jungle kicks Luger. Seanton bomb.
- O'Haire hits the bomb on Bagboy.
- O'Haire covers Luger, Palumbo covers Bagwell.
- 1-2-3.
- Fifty-four seconds, bell-to-bell.
- Ah yes, when the house is burning down around you, it's time to pass the torch.
- Scott Steiner yells as Midejah looks scary.
- Man, it is amazing how bad $50,000 of cosmetic surgery can look.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1999 — RIC FLAIR ENTERS A PSYCHIATRIC WARD
- The match can't start right away, because Bagboy and Loser are still lying in the ring.
- Gotta get their camera time, I suppose.
- I fall asleep and wake up for Booker's match.
- Later, I rewind the tape to finish my review of this match.
- They brawl on the entrance ramp. The Cat gets the best of it.
- Inside, more brawling.
- They fight in the corner for awhile, and then Miller throws Kanyon outside.
- He later tosses him into the rail.
- Kanyon gets the advantage, and hits Miller inside the ring with a top rope clothesline.
- Nice.
- Kanyon with a flying elbow. Two.
- In the corner, Kanyon grabs Miller and drives him to the mat with a flying legdrop. Two.
- Miller gets out a chinlock and hits a supplex.
- Kanyon counters a hiptoss with a neckbreaker. Two.
- Miller crotches Kanyon on the turnbuckle. Superplex. Two.
- Miller counters a sunset flip attempt with a chop.
- He hits a nice-looking roundhouse kick. Two.
- Kanyon tries a pin using rope leverage. The ref sees it.
- Kanyon protests, Cat rolls him up. Two.
- Kanyon counters a piledriver with a pancake and a Boston crab.
- Cat reaches the ropes.
- Miller with the feliner.
- 1-2-foot on the rope.
- Kanyon yanks Miller's tights, tossing him to the floor.
- Miller in, Kanyon whacks him with an international object.
- Two.
- Kanyon nails the ref and eyes Ms. Jones.
- Jones in, and she accidentally hits Miller.
- She whacks Kanyon, Miller does the same, and the ref counts three.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1998 — SCOTT HALL PUKES ON ERIC BISCHOFF
- Buff and Luger yak.
- Dusty burps.
- I wake up.
- Steiner starts with some punches.
- They take it outside, where Booker is dumped into the front row.
- Brawling.
- Inside, Steiner tells Booker he's not taking his belt, "you ain't takin' shit!"
- Clothesline. Two.
- Booker with punches that are broken up with an eye rake.
- Steiner with a double underhook power bomb. Two.
- Rest holds.
- Booker with punches that are broken up with a kick to the crotch.
- Steiner with a bow-and-arrow.
- Steiner with punches. Booker hits a Samoan drop, Steiner comes back with a belly-to-belly supplex. Two.
- Booker into the corner, he comes out with a sunset flip for two.
- They get up and Steiner plants Booker with a clothesline. Two.
- Booker whipped in, and he comes off the ropes with a flying forearrm.
- Tackle. Ghetto blaster that barely connects.
- Pancake.
- Spinaroonie!! Spinaroonie!! Spinaroonie!!
- Steiner pulls the ref in the way of a sidekick.
- Steiner hits a supplex.
- With the ref down, Steiner goes to the top and is hit by Shane Douglas.
- Bookend.
- 1-2-3.
- New champ.
- Decent match, considering that it involved Rick Steiner.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1995 — WCW USES MONSTER TRUCKS FOR ADDED REALISM
- Buff is laid out and Luger thinks Animal did it.
- The guy who gets pinned has to kiss the butt of the guy who pinned him. Should be a high-quality match.
- Flair comes out with Animal. Animal is ordered to the back by the referee.
- Well, as much as I'd like to say that Flair and Rhodes lit it up, they didn't. This isn't 1986 anymore.
- In fact, both old dudes wore their shirts throughout the match, an indication that they feel it's best to spare us the sight of their aged, ugly bodies.
- Jarrett and Dustin start it off, brawling for a few minutes leading to Flair getting tagged in.
- Of course, Dustin takes a beating from Flair (who seems to have forgotten every scientific move he's ever known) until he can tag in Dusty.
- Dusty with a headlock, a shoulderblock, and a goofy dance.
- They lock up again, and Dusty punishes Flair in the corner.
- Bionic elbow to Flair, punches, another elbow.
- Dustin tagged in.
- He supplexes Flair, he nails Jarrett with an atomic drop.
- Flair hits him in the nads.
- Jarrett goes to work.
- Flair and Jarrett take turns beating up Dustin.
- Sleeper by Jarrett. Reversal.
- Jarrett softens up Dustin's left leg.
- Flair in, Dustin with a backslide. Two.
- Jarrett clamps on a figure four.
- Dustin gets out of it, nails a supplex and crawls to the corner.
- Simultaneous tags.
- Dusty with punches and elbows to both opponents.
- He nails Flair with a big elbow drop, and Jarrett breaks up the pin attempt.
- Dusty with a double clothesline. Dustin does the same thing. Four man brawl.
- Flair and Jarrett both attempt figure fours and are thrown into each other.
- Dustin rolls up Flair for the pin.
- And for some reason, its Dusty who drops his pants and plants his butt
on Jarrett.
- I could tell all of you how great it was to see Dusty and Flair "battle" for the first time in years, but it would be more accurate to say that this match crapped all over some great memories of well-fought main events I saw in my teen years.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1997 — HOGAN BURSTS FROM JOHN HURT'S CHEST, ATTACKS SIGOURNEY WEAVER
- Brawling to start. DDP with a neckbreaker.
- Steiner pops him onto the apron and then starts yakking, giving DDP a chance to recover and hit a flying clothesline.
- They go outside, where DDP rams Steiner into the railing thrice.
- DDP gets clubbered as Steiner endears himself to a guy at ringside with a friendly "Shaddap fat ass!"
- To the apron, Steiner hits DDP with a few forearms before Steiner is hung over the rope.
- Steiner recovers and they head into the stands.
- They brawl by the Spanish announce table (I'm not making this up), and Steiner grabs a crutch from a fan who's an obvious plant. He breaks it over DDP.
- The fan throws his other crutch to DDP. Whack!
- DDP puts Steiner on a table and plants an elbow. They smash to the floor where Page gets two.
- Steiner gets hit with a garbage can. Two.
- They brawl to the ramp.
- Steiner shoves another plant.
- Page whacks the champ with something I can't identify. Two.
- To the apron, Steiner crotches Page on the rope.
- Steinerline off the ropes. Elbow drop. Two.
- Steiner is bleeding.
- Forearm to the back. Another.
- DDP responds with some forearms, but he takes a t-bone for his troubles. Steiner gets two.
- Bearhug.
- Page escapes, but Steiner hits a belly-to-belly supplex.
- Two-and-fifteen-sixteenths.
- Steiner hammers Page in the corner.
- Page recovers, whips Steiner into the opposite corner, and eats a boot.
- Another Steiner supplex leads to a two count.
- Bow-and-arrow.
- Page escapes, and hits a DDT.
- Steiner misses a clothesline, but Page doesn't.
- DDPunches. He grabs Steiner and slams his face...
- Into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle.
- Into the turnbuckle!
- Steiner hits an elbow after a whip and tries to cover with rope leverage. Two.
- DDT by DDP.
- Signal for the diamond cutter. Steiner hits a mule kick to the groin to counter the move.
- Page escapes a slam attempt and hits the cutter.
- Rick Steiner breaks up the count by grabbing the referee.
- Page gets the upper hand, rolls up Scott Steiner, and accidentally falls on the ref when the champ kicks out. Ref's hazy.
- Frankenmidejah gives Steiner the belt. He smacks DDP. We got juice. Two count.
- Boston crab, DDP escapes. Steiner recliner, DDP escapes.
- Scott and Midejah bitch out the ref as Rick works over DDP. Scott takes a lead pipe to DDP.
- He locks on another Steiner recliner as the ref walks over.
- That's it.
- Steiner retains.
XAVIER DOOM PRESENTS
GREAT MOMENTS IN WCW HISTORY
1990 — ART BARR JOINS WCW, CRIES OF "RAPIST" ARE HEARD IN THE STANDS