WCW Slamboree '98 - Sunday, May 17^th, 1998

Howdy-ho!!! Time for WCW's May Pay-Per-View, Slamboree. I can't believe this is the sixth Slamboree. Geez -- 1993 doesn't seem like it happened so many years ago, but wow...
 
If you're an old geezer like me (and remember watching the first Slamboree), you probably feel the event is missing a little something. That something is tradition. The first few Slamborees were celebrations of the history of wrestling. They featured current wrestlers, old wrestlers, old clips, Hall of Fame awards, etc.
 
And now, Slamboree is just another WCW ppv. Something to carry on the current storylines. Blah. Boring. Gimme something different. Just once a year. It's all I ask.
 
Whatever. My buddy Red is not here tonight. He's back to overnight shifts at the brewery he works at. Can't believe he'd turn down rasslin' for work. And the shift premium.
 
But, lucky for me, my buddy Wheezer© is here. If you think I'm a smart-ass, you should get a load of him.
 
Okay, enough of my yakkin'. Let's boogie.
 

• Slamboree. In Worcester, Massachusetts. There were rumours some months ago that WCW was going to bring the show here to my hometown, Toronto. With Bret Hart in the WCW mix, the rumour was that we'd see Hart vs. Hogan. I thought that would be rushing Hart to the top. But WCW came to its senses, decided not to bring the card to Toronto, and has now buried Hart's push behind about two dozen other wrestlers. Good move, eh?

• Wheezer© arrived not knowing the card. When I tell him that Hart and Savage is one of the main events, the blood drains from his face and he says "Yer killin' me here." Guess he's not looking forward to the match. When I tell him Roddy Piper will ref the match, he nearly drops out of the chair.

• The broadcast starts, and we go to the three shot of Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan. That's good, cuz it means no Lee Marshall.

• Tony's speculating about the whereabouts of Scott Hall. Where is he? Oh, come on. We know he's in Worcester.

• Tony's now mentioning the Vince McMahon challenge. They show Eric Bischoff mouthing off at Thunder. Hey! Now they're showing pics from earlier in the day, when WCW security sluggo Doug Dillinger went outside in case he had to escort McMahon into the building. Oh, they're going to play up this one. This is hilarious!!! Dillinger has a WCW backstage pass ready for McMahon -- and there's a bunch of "fans" calling McMahon a coward. This is quite amusing.

• Match One: WCW TV champion Fit Finley vs. Chris Benoit
  • Wheezer© and I are both picking Benoit. Although I think Booker T showing up to spoil the match is a possibility.
  • Wheezer© looks at Not-So-Fit Finley: "I can't stand this f#@k."
  • Not-So-Fit has whipped himself into pretty decent shape. Guess he's dropped the Guinness.
  • Sign: Where are you Vince? We're waiting.
  • The headlock derby is underway. It goes into the test of strength, pin combo switches, etc.
  • Schiavone won't shut up. Verbal diarrhea.
  • There's fans with masks in the front row. Many of them look like The Executioners, that 1970s WWF tag team.
  • European uppercut by Not-So-Fit. "Finley Sucks" chants.
  • They take it outside. Man, Not-So-Fit is the only guy I know that can make a Benoit match boring.
  • Bring on Booker.
  • Benoit gets out of a camel clutch.
  • Benoit nails a good series of chops that Not-So-Fit stops with an eye poke.
  • The crowd is pumped. I think this match will drain their energy.
  • The broadcast team is once again refusing to acknowledge that Benoit won the TV title twice in recent weeks.
  • Finley brings in a chair. Benoit takes control of it and hits Not-So-Fit with it.
  • Benoit plays the crowd while Finley recovers on the outside.
  • Benoit pulls a suicide dive, and Finley clubbers him with a chair while Benoit is in mid-air. Ouch.
  • Moments like this demand juice. But we don't get any. Damn.
  • Slam by Finley.
  • Benoit starts the German suplex combo. He nails two before Finley breaks it up by running into the ropes.
  • Crippler Crossface!!! Ah, Not-So-Fit reaches the ropes.
  • Benoit signals for the end of the match.
  • Booker T is coming to ringside. Benoit leaves the ring and starts jawing at Booker.
  • Finley dropkicks Benoit from behind.
  • Benoit plays dead.
  • Finley nails a tombstone. Pin.
  • Finley retains. Bet he loses the belt on Nitro.

• Match Two: Lex Luger vs. Brian Adams (with Vincent)
  • Vincent has verbal diarrhea.
  • Slugfest!!! What a surprise.
  • Luger pummels Adams outside the ring.
  • Vincent is running all over the place. He's begging for a beating.
  • Luger's already signalling for the Bird Dance. Hold on. I mean he's already signalling for the Torture Rack.
  • Vincent distracts Luger, saving Adams.
  • Adams nails a piledriver.
  • Wheezer© wants Mongo to run in for a terrible triangle match. Ugh. I shudder to think of it.
  • Once again the announcing team mentions the McMahon challenge.
  • Luger and Adams clothesline each other.
  • Luger gives Vincent a mouthful of Total Package forearm.
  • Luger puts Adams in the rack. It's over.
  • I paid $30 for this.
  • Wheezer©: "Brian Adams should stick to his singing career."
  • Ah, yes. It cuts like a knife. But it feels so right.

• Saturn interview
  • Saturn bitches about Raven's self-centred personality.
  • He's reading off cue cards.
  • Blah blah blah.

• Match Three: Cruiserweight battle royal
  • Chris Jericho comes out and demands that he read the names of the participants.
  • He has something goofy to say about every guy involved.
  • Super Calo, Chavo Guerrero, Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy (go Dandy, go!!!), some guy in purple (El Grio), Juventud Guerrera, Marty Jannetty, Billy Kidman (Humperdido!!!), Evan C(K?)ourageous, Lenny Lane, Psychosis, Silver King (not in Silver), Johnny Swinger and Villiano IV. Did I miss somebody?
  • No Dean Malenko! Hmmm...
  • Jericho says he's going to the back for a coffee.
  • It goes like this: Courageous first out. Swinger second. Calo third. Silver King out. Purple guy gone. Jannetty gone. Villano IV gone. Lane out. Damien out. El Dandy gone (dammit). Guerrero out. Psychosis out. Kidman gone.
  • It's down to Juvi and Ciclope. Ciclope? They're staring at each other.
  • Wheezer©: "It would be good if Ciclope was Malenko."
  • Hey! Juvi is leaving. Ciclope's unmasking.
  • It is Malenko!!! Am I the only one surprised by this?
  • Geez, I must be a total mark.
  • We go immediately to...

• Match Four: WCW Cruiserweight champ Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko
  • Jericho comes out. He's surprised! He's scared!
  • Malenko's kicking the crap out of him.
  • The crowd is into it.
  • Malenko's moves are crisp. Man -- he's on fire.
  • Juvi's at ringside, cheering on Malenko.
  • Jericho tossed into the ringside steps.
  • Again: a grudge match like this demands juice.
  • Jericho with a hot shot and senton.
  • There's a fan wearing an nWo license plate around his neck. Okay...
  • Jericho pulls a vertical suplex. Then a Lionsault. He tries a pumphandle slam, but Malenko counters.
  • A few more switches. Jericho tries the Liontamer. Reversed.
  • Jericho sets Malenko up on the top. Malenko grabs Jericho and executes a stomachbreaker.
  • Texas Cloverleaf! Jericho reaches for the ropes... he's not close enough! Tap out!!!
  • We have a new Cruiserweight champ. It's great booking. Well, except for that goofy Ciclope costume Malenko is wearing.

• I Get A Call From My Fiancee, Trixie
  • She reminds me to tape the season finale of The X-Files.
  • Hey!!! I'm watching wrestling!!! The nerve, huh?

• Match Five: Bowery Cage Match -- Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page
  • As they lower the cage, WCW goes outside to the "Vinny Mac cam".
  • This might be taking the whole thing too far...
  • They're on a shot of a white limo. Gimme a break. Geez. They got four camera angles on this thing.
  • Schiavone: "If Jim Ross jumps out and carries the bags, you know it's Vince." Hi-frikkin-larious!!!
  • DDP comes to the ring. He gets on top of the roofed cage.
  • There's two garbage cans full of stuff in there.
  • Wheezer's© predicting juice. Naw. Can't see it.
  • But once again, we have a match that demands juice for that special touch.
  • I believe that WCW has just become ECW. Well, at least for one match.
  • Raven comes to the ring with his riot squad.
  • Heenan starts singing the theme from Cops.
  • DDP slams Raven into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle, into the turnbuckle.
  • Raven slams DDP into both garbage cans. Big dents!!! We paid for juice.
  • Raven dumps the contents of the cans, ala New Jack.
  • Fire extinguisher, shovel -- hey!!! A VCR!!!
  • Can you say ECW???
  • DDP drags Raven around with a rope. He hangs him from the top of the cage -- ala Michael Hutchence.
  • Referee starts the 10 count on Raven. He gets up, and gets a VCR upside the head.
  • Raven stuns DDP. Both men get up. Raven hits DDP with the trash can.
  • Cookie sheet shots to DDP.
  • Raven sets up the chair.
  • Raven traps DDP in a sleeper. DDP pushes Raven into the turnbuckle. The referee gets squished. He's down.
  • Cameras on the riot squad. Foreshadowing???
  • Raven is tripped and falls face-first onto the chair.
  • Riggs, Sick Boy and Reese come to ringside, and get past the riot squad.
  • Riggs has bolt cutters. He opens the cage.
  • Van Hammer appears from under the ring. He hits Reese. He hits a few more guys and leaves.
  • Hammer handcuffs Reese to the railing.
  • In the ring, DDP is beating up Raven.
  • The riot squad enters the ring. Two of them are Kidman and Horace Boulder.
  • DDP hits Kidman with a Diamond Cutter.
  • Raven hits DDP with a DDT. DDP beats the count. Raven then uses the Diamond Cutter on Page. Page gets up again.
  • DDP cutters Raven. It's over.
  • One member of the riot squad starts to handcuff the Flock members to the cage and railing. He handcuffs Raven to the cage.
  • Hey. He throws a punch like Jake Roberts.
  • Ah, it's Mortis. Mortis takes off his mask!!!
  • Anybody ever seen that wild ECW cage match when Tommy Dreamer nailed a bound Raven with a chair??? Same idea here. Mortis nails a wicked shot -- maybe better than the one Dreamer hit Raven with. And that's saying something.
  • Wheezer© says WCW is misusing Raven. Yup. I have to agree. He's jobbing way too much.

• We check in with WCW security
  • They show some guy at the ticket entrance with a mug-shot sheet that features McMahon, Syxx, Steve Austin and a few other WWF personalities.
  • Now that's funny.

• Match Six: Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero (with Chavo Guerrero Jr.)
  • If Dragon wins, Chavo gets his "freedom" from Eddie. What a stupid angle.
  • Armdrag series -- Dragon flip Eddie behind.
  • Handlocks, hammerlocks, monkeyflips exchanged.
  • Dragon into the ropes -- he lands after a backdrop.
  • Dragon starts his kicks -- but Eddie ducks under.
  • Dropkick brings the Dragon down.
  • The audio cuts out of the feed for a few seconds. But it comes back on. Damn.
  • Dragon starts the stiff kicks.
  • Eddie nails a vertical suplex and chokes the Dragon outside the ring.
  • Chavo gives Eddie some lip.
  • Eddie and the Dragon up to the top. Eddie gets dropped on the top rope.
  • Eddie to the floor. He gets hit with an Asia moonsault.
  • Back into the ring, tilt-a-whirl by the Dragon into a rack and backbreaker.
  • Dragon hit a moonsault. Two count.
  • Eddie recovers and hits a tornado DDT.
  • Frog Splash. Eddie misses!!! He's in trouble...
  • Dragon gets another two.
  • Dragon tries an in-ring Asai moonsault which he turns into a Dragon sleeper! Wow.
  • Eddie flips over, and puts on a Dragon sleeper of his own. Impressive stuff.
  • Eddie leans on the ropes for leverage, and Chavo pushes him off.
  • The Guerreros argue by the ropes. Dragon accidentally hits Chavo.
  • Eddie nails Dragon with a vertical suplex. Frog splash. 1-2-3.
  • A livid Chavo runs into the ring and starts beating on the Dragon.
  • Eddie pulls Chavo off the Dragon, and in a weird spot, dares Chavo to slap him.
  • Chavo can't hit a family member. So he reluctantly kisses Eddie on the cheek.
  • Strange post-match stuff.

• Vinny Mac Update
  • A door with a star and Vince's name on it is shown.
  • "WCW Restricted Area. Vince 'The Reason For The Ratings' McMahon"
  • Again, funny stuff.

• Match Seven: US champion Bill Goldberg vs. Saturn
  • I thought this was supposed to be a "running the gauntlet" match featuring Goldberg vs. the entire Flock.
  • Guess not.
  • They work the match for a few minutes. Goldberg is getting better, but he's not that great a worker yet.
  • Saturn slaps Goldberg. Mistake.
  • They go outside. Goldberg accidentally clotheslines the ringpost.
  • They work a little more -- it's nothing special until Saturn slaps on a sleeper.
  • The ref checks Goldberg's arm. He snaps it away from the ref and starts to bark at the official. And I thought the McMahon stuff was funny...
  • There's an Ultimate Warrior sign in the crowd.
  • Saturn sets up the chair to use it as a springboard.
  • He dropkicks Goldberg once.
  • He tries it again, and Goldberg spears him in mid-air.
  • Jackhammer. Pin.

• "Match" Eight: Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon
  • The Bisch comes out.
  • As Michael Buffer intros McMahon, the crowd falls silent.
  • They must be holding out some hope that McMahon will show.
  • Amazing.
  • McMahon is introed. The crowd boos. No one comes out.
  • He's introed again. The crowd boos. No one comes out.
  • The referee says that if McMahon doesn't show, they'll have to count him out.
  • The Bisch expresses his disappointment that Vinny Mac didn't show.
  • He asks the crowd to help him count out McMahon.
  • And they do. Loudly.
  • Wonder if this will affect the WWF lawsuit?
  • Wheezer© wonders what Titan will do in response. We'll have to see on RAW. Once again, Easy-E gives us a reason to watch RAW rather than Nitro.

• Match Nine: Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage (special referee Roddy Piper)
  • Will Piper go nWo?
  • Hart comes out to a mixed reaction. He is being misused. No doubt about it.
  • Hart does the classic heel stuff. He tries to delay the match, and goes outside the ring.
  • Piper puts up with it for a minute of so. Then he goes out, grabs Hart, and tosses him into the ring.
  • Savage is wearing the knee brace. He's slowing a bit, but I think he's still the best 40+ worker in the business.
  • Piper demands they start the match. "WRESTLE!!!"
  • Lots of kicking, scratching, choking so far. Headbutt by Hart. Boring.
  • Hart delivers a vertical suplex. The first real move so far.
  • They take it outside. Hart throws the ring steps.
  • Savage pounds Hart into the railing, and then slams him into the ringsteps.
  • Piper: "WRESTLE!!!"
  • Hart comes off the top of the barrier on top of Savage.
  • They brawl in the crowd. Nothing special. They take it back to ringside.
  • Hart works on Savage's weakened knee.
  • Hart is drawing zero heat.
  • Russian leg sweep by the Canadian.
  • Hart hits a piledriver and a DDT. I don't remember him using those moves before. Strange...
  • Hart gives the fans the finger.
  • Hart with a backbreaker.
  • Savage recovers. Elbow, suplex, two count.
  • Savage to the top for the elbow. He hits it. And he rolls away, clutching the knee.
  • Hart kicks out of a pin attempt.
  • Hart with a sharpshooter.
  • Liz is bouncing down to ringside!!! I repeat: Liz is bouncing down to ringside!!!
  • Wheezer© nearly has a heart attack (no pun intended).
  • Savage reverses the sharpshooter.
  • Liz enters the ring and distracts Piper.
  • Savage shoves Piper. Piper shoves Savage.
  • Hart hits Savage, and then nails Piper from behind, and stuns him.
  • Savage takes a foreign object from Hart.
  • Hollywood Hogan to ringside. He trips Savage and posts him. Hollywood leaves.
  • Hart slaps on the sharpshooter.
  • Piper recovers, sees the foreign object on Savage's hand, and awards the match to Hart.
  • I guess Savage was disqualified.
  • Pretty frikkin lame.

• Match Ten: WCW tag champs Scott Hall and Kevin Nash (with Dusty Rhodes) vs. Sting and The Giant
  • The crowd is frikkin pumped for The nWo Wolfpack.
  • Hall does the survey. This is Wolfpack country.
  • The Giant comes to the ring.
  • Sting follows.
  • Sting and Hall start the contest.
  • Hall with an armtwist and shoulderdrive. Sting responds with an elbow.
  • Hall with a chokeslam.
  • Hall mocks The Giant with a Frankenstein imitation.
  • Sting kicks Hall in the gut and slams him face first into the mat.
  • Two Stinger Splashes. Anyone else remember when Sting would finish his matches with that move?
  • Sting tries for the Scorpion Deathlock. Nash enters the ring. Sting fends off both Wolfpackers.
  • Sting and The Giant clear the ring.
  • Giant headbutts Nash.
  • Dusty Rhodes, looking scholarly, gathers the troops outside the ring. For a minute, it looked like he was going to read to them.
  • Having Dusty read to you would be strange. Imagine him reading Moby Dick: "Call me Ishmael, if you weeeel."
  • Sorry. This card is starting to get to me. Back to the action.
  • The Giant is tagged in. He does the Frankenstein thing.
  • Hall mocks The Giant, and tags in Nash.
  • Lots of heat for this match. Lots of heat. And none of these guys are really good wrestlers.
  • Whatever. They are exciting personalities, I'll give them that.
  • Nash with a few punches. He signals for the jackknife. The Giant throws Nash into the corner.
  • Nash recovers. He chokes The Giant in the corner.
  • They trade corner whips and clotheslines.
  • The Giant works the crowd.
  • He places Nash in the corner for the Andre butt-bump.
  • He chokes Nash.
  • The crowd chants for Hall and Nash.
  • Sting tagged in. He kicks and kicks and kicks and kicks. A Sammartino special.
  • Nash boots Sting in the face and tags in Hall.
  • Hall catches Sting and gives him a fallaway slam.
  • The Wolfpack tag in and out, punishing Sting in the process.
  • Nash hits Sting with the old Vinnie Vegas snake eyes move.
  • Hall slaps Sting around.
  • Nash punishes Sting.
  • Wheezer© is falling asleep.
  • Hall tags in. The ref almost trips over Sting.
  • Hall covers Sting. Two count. Hall with an abdominal stretch.
  • Nash tags in. Side slam on Sting. Two count.
  • Sting into the ropes, and Nash bearhugs him. The bearhug nearly puts Wheezer© and I to sleep.
  • Sting breaks out, goes off the ropes, leaps over Nash and tags The Giant.
  • The crowd is so excited, they're sitting.
  • The Giant slams Nash.
  • The Giant with a legdrop.
  • The Giant goes to the top rope, and he comes off with a bodysplash. He misses, but holy crap. THE GIANT JUST DOVE OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!
  • Nash sets up the jackknife.
  • Hall runs in and nails Nash. I repeat: Hall runs in and nails Nash.
  • The Giant pins Nash, and Hall celebrates.
  • Sting looks like he just dropped a load in his pants.
  • The nWo asks Sting to join them.
  • Don't tell me: after almost three hours, we have to "suddenly" end the broadcast, right?
  • Right.
  • Promo for the Great American Bash, and it's over.
  • Thank you, goodnight.

• Er, that's it.

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