WCW Thunder - Thursday, July 1, 1999

By Dan

• I'm really sorry about all of the typos in his report, but it was late. Just for the record, I do know the difference between won and one, new and knew, here and hear, and any other misused words.

• Welcome back to yet another addition of Thunder.  If you missed out last week then I'm Dan and I'm filling in for Aldo.  For those of you tired of the new guy. Don't worry, Aldo will be back next week. 
  
  
• Well let's start this week off seriously.  If you haven't read it on the net a 9-year-old boy killed his 3-year-old brother performing a clothesline on him.  I just want to send my condolences to his family as a wrestling fan.  For those of you out there reading this, tell your children, little brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins or whoever that these men are professionals and that they shouldn't be doing this at home.
  
  
• On lighter news if you haven't read it anywhere else then it's time for you to know that our very own Paragon of Virtue, Chris Jericho, has signed up North for an as yet undisclosed amount.  I have real mixed feelings on this, WCW is actually currently putting their younger stars in the spotlight that Jericho deserves to be in and I don't want to see him turned into Doink the Clown, Beaver Cleavage, Max Moon, etc.  On the other hand, Vince can make stars and if Jericho goes up there and builds a real fan base before coming back to the company that made Jerichoholics than who am I to complain. The one true absolute feeling I have on this is that WCW should be kicking themselves for losing a potential superstar because the Broken Hip Club can't keep their egos in check.  Jericho is the first wrestler ever that I couldn't stand at first and then he slowly one me over, not only with in ring talent, but with a great personality as well.  So I wish Mr. Jericho the best of luck and until we start doing RAW reports (yeah, right!) I'll miss being able to call one of his matches.  And to think that the news broke on Canada Day.
  
  
• To everyone that sent me letters saying I missed the HUGE Eddy chant last week, the only rebuttal I can offer is . . .uh . . .er . . . uhm . . . well damnit your right.   I was just so excited that he was back that I forgot to mention the crowd's pleasure at having him back as well. 
  
  
• And to the one flame I got (I feel so special). I liked Benoit before I ever heard of this whole wrestling on the Internet deal.  I liked Guerrero before I knew what a smart mark was.  I think Malenko could legitimately kick Hulk's ass and the only reason that the company up North is so popular is that their main eventers aren't only good on the mic they can put on a (semi)credible match.  Unlike Nash v Savage in this month's Battle to Blow a Knee.
  
  
• Finally since he was complaining about it in his re-cap last week.  Scott Keith rules! There, now he can say that he got mentioned in the column of another webpage.
  
  
• We're taped at the Cajun Dome in LaFayette, LA!!!!!
  
  
• Are hosts as always are Ixnay Mike Tenay and "I Wish I was like Bruno" Larry Zybszko
  
  
• Oh yeah one last thing.  Out of the 9 superstars shown in the Hollywood sign at the start of Thunder, 6 are on the disabled list.  Just a little something for you to think about.
  
  
• Anyway, tonight we are going to have Rick Steiner put the TV title on the line against Buff Bagwell.  Rey Misterio will be defending his Cruiserweight title as well.
  
  
• We get a replay of Nash defending the title against fourteen men and a little boy.   Wade: ""We saw Kevin Nash book himself over everyone in the company, and get two women, too."  Couldn't have put it better myself.
  
  
• We have two big announcements for Nitro this Monday in my hood at the Georgia Dome.   First Megadeath shall be there to perform their new song "Crush 'Em" from the Universal Soldier 2 soundtrack and secondly we will hear from Bret Hart for the first time since SuperBrawl I think it was.

• Match #1 Diamond Dallas Page with Kanyon vs. Perry Saturn
  • DDP to the ring first.
  • Two times, two times, two times.
  • "If you ain't from Jersey, then you ain't it."  I will refrain from giving my definition of "it", but the two words do rhyme. ;-)
  • Here comes Saturn.  The heels promptly leave the ring.
  • Page playing cat and mouse with Saturn.
  • Saturn responds by laying out Kanyon.
  • Page Pearl Harbors Saturn as he is getting back in the ring.
  • Whip and a big clothesline from Page.
  • Page whips Saturn into the corner and as Saturn staggers out Page hits a Belly to Back Suplex.
  • However, Saturn lands on his feet.
  • Saturn grabs Page for a German Suplex and eats an elbow.  He manages to hold on.
  • Saturn eats another elbow, but ducks the third and hits an Overhead Release Suplex.
  • Kanyon up on the apron, but Saturn knocks him off.
  • Saturn turns around and hits an Enziguiri on Page sending him out. Saturn follows.
  • Saturn is kicking the crap out of Page on the outside.
  • Back inside Page Irish Whips Saturn towards a waiting Kanyon, but Saturn Drop Kicks Kanyon instead.
  • Saturn then goes out to beat on Kanyon, but Page hits him from behind.
  • Page sends Saturn into the safety rail, and again.
  • Page distracts Billy Silverman so that Kanyon can beat on Saturn outside and roll him back into the ring.
  • Page whips Saturn and hits his Tilt-a-Whirl Sidewalk slam.
  • Page keeps putting the boots to Saturn.
  • Page is choking Saturn on the ropes as the ref pulls him off Kanyon comes up and tags Saturn.
  • Page chokes Saturn with his foot as Tenay informs we have to go to commercial.
  • DAMNIT!!!  This is a good match.
  • Actually we go to a clip of the Megadeath video for "Crush 'Em." You think Metallica ever regrets kicking Dave Mustaine out?
  • Neither do I.
  • We're back for a DDP Scoop Slam on Saturn.
  • Elbow drop and a non-chalant cover for two.
  • As Page argues with the ref, Saturn rolls him up for two.
  • Saturn gets up to receive a big Lariat from Page.
  • Page puts Saturn into an Abdominal Stretch.
  • Kanyon keeps sneaking in the helping hand for extra leverage.
  • Page with some vicious elbows to Saturn's side while he's being stretched.
  • Silverman finally catches the helping hand and breaks the hold.
  • Saturn gets up catches the boot to the gut, ducks the Discus Lariat and follows with some punches and a Superkick.
  • More punches and an Inverted Atomic Drop from Saturn.
  • Saturn with a Flying Forearm Smash for two.
  • Saturn with a rollup off of the ropes for two.
  • Page catches Saturn and hits a Sitdown Powerbomb for two.
  • Page stands up and signals for the cutter, but Saturn pushes him into the ref.
  • Silverman is down as Kanyon gets up and places his Tag Belt on the turnbuckle.
  • Saturn catches Kanyon and whips him into the belt, followed by punches in the corner.
  • Kanyon drops Saturn face first on the belt and covers him with Page.
  • Silverman finally comes to and starts the count.
  • Saturn kicks out at two!!!
  • Kanyon argues with the ref as Benoit sneaks in and goes up top.
  • Diving Headbutt!!! Benoit pulls Saturn on top of Page.
  • 1 . . .2 . . . Kanyon pulls Silverman out of the ring.
  • YOUR WINNER: Perry Saturn via Disqualification.
  • Post match Benoit hits the Tope' on Kanyon outside. Bigelow comes in and pulls Benoit off Kanyon and proceeds with the beatdown.
  • Saturn is laid out in the ring so the heels continue with the three on one against Benoit.
  • One after the other the trio Irish Whips a member into an Avalanche on Benoit in the corner.
  • 3D Diamond Cutter on Benoit.
  • Saturn gets a Flatliner for good measure.
  • I know they probably aren't reading, but to you Kappa Sigs sitting down front A->B.
  • That was a good match with a lot of action.  I just wish it had a clean finish.
    
    
• We get an add for the new Bam Bam Bigelow T-shirt that was pretty damn funny.  We also get an ad for what I'm now calling Club Saturday Nite.  Why do the matches they are advertising for Saturday Nite sound better than the one's for Nitro?
  

• Match #2 Disorderly Conduct vs. Brad Armstrong and Swoll with the No Limit Soldiers
  • Disorderly Conduct come out first and talk some trash to the camera.
  • Here come the, ugh, No Limit Soldiers.
  • Misterio and Konnan do the German Dance for you in the ring.
  • Insert K-dawg bullshit here.
  • Hennig and his strawberries talk about their 4-life?  Really?  Funny, I haven't ever heard them mention 4-life.
  • COME UP WITH NEW MATERIAL YOU OUT OF SHAPE HACK!!!!!!!!!
  • Oh yeah and since my facial tick hasn't gotten to Goldberg proportions . . . Hooty Hoo!!!
  • Alright let me just go ahead and apologize now if I don't have the right member of Disorderly Conduct in the ring during this match.
  • They changed their tights so only one side have their name on them.
  • Swoll and Mean Mike to start things off.
  • They tie-up and Swoll shoves Tom down easily.  Swoll is a pretty big guy.  Too bad I've met more interesting bars of soap.
  • Mike kicks Swoll in the gut and tries to Slam Swoll, but gets blocked.
  • Swoll tries to slam Mike and doesn't get blocked at all.  Tom comes in and gets slammed as well.
  • Swoll tags in Armstrong.
  • Armstrong puts Mike in the dreaded Full Armdrag and Twist.
  • Armstrong sent to the corner, but he dodges the charge and hits a Standing Drop Kick.
  • Mike with a thumb to the eye and tags in Tom.
  • Armstrong Shoulderblocks Tom down and then reverses a Hip Toss into one of his own.
  • Armstrong Clotheslines Tom out of the ring and taunts him.
  • Tom back in and Armstrong immediately puts him in a headlock.
  • Tom whips him out and Mike knees Armstrong in the back.
  • Mike and Tom start the double team.
  • Nice double team move where Tom puts Armstrong on the rope throat first holding his legs up and then Mike drops a Double Axehandle across his back.
  • Mike is choking Brad on the ropes.
  • A huge jawbreaker on Brad from Mike.  It looked like one of Brad's teeth went flying.
  • Tag to Tom as they hit a double team Neckbreaker for two.
  • Armstrong with a sunset flip for two.
  • Tom and Mike with quick tags back in forth as they double team Armstrong.
  • This is where I really lose track of who the legal man is.
  • Mike goes up top while Tom holds Armstrong, but when he comes down Armstrong isn't there.
  • Armstrong manages to make the hot tag to Swoll.
  • Swoll double Clothesline on Disorderly Conduct
  • Swoll with a Powerslam for two on Tom.
  • Armstrong sends Mike out of the ring.
  • They whip Tom into the corner then Swoll whips Brad into him.
  • As Tom staggers out of the corner, Swoll drills him with a Heel Palm Strike to the chest.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3.  Uhm, interesting finisher.
  • YOUR WINNER: Brad Armstrong and Swoll via Pinfall following a Palm Strike from Swoll.
  • Well the Palm Strike is a fairly legit finisher, but Swoll didn't do it that well and as is my opinion of legit finishers they are dull.
  • Not too bad for what is was.  Too bad that Brad Armstrong was stuck having to make his team look good just so Swoll can get the win.
  • I'm sorry, Wade.

   

• We come back to a hotline add which appropriately is shown over two hot girls in the crowd. 
  

• Match #3 La Parka vs. Eddy Guerrero
  • La Parka is now by far the largest of the luchadores.
  • I think he got his jacket from the same distributor that sells the LOD their plastic spike shoulderpads.
  • La Parka plays some air chair in the ring.
  • Here comes Eddy. I'm so happy he stayed heel. Eddy plays the classic heel so well.
  • The former members of the LWO angle continues as they show a Latino man in the audience with an LWO shirt.
  • La Parka offers his hand to Eddy, but cheapshots him when Eddy goes to take it.
  • Eddy's in the corner and La Parka tries to kick him, but Eddy isn't there.
  • La Parka grabs Eddy throws him back in the corner and goes for a splash.  Eddy isn't there again.
  • Eddy starts beating on La Parka into the corner and whips him into the opposite corner.
  • As Eddy charges La Parka catches him and drops him face first on the top turnbuckle.
  • La Parka charges, but Eddy Drop Toe Holds him into the middle turnbuckle.
  • La Parka charges again and this time gets met with a Clothesline.
  • Eddy tosses La Parka out of the ring gut first.
  • Slingshot Plancha onto the floor from Eddy.
  • Eddy sends La Parka into the rail and then headfirst into the steps.
  • La Parka back in and rolls out of the way of the Slingshot Diving Headbutt.
  • Eddy rolls through and La Parka Back Body Drops him over the top.
  • Eddy manages to land on the apron and Clothesline La Parka out of his strut.
  • We get a Slingshot Senton from Eddy as we go to commercial.
  • If this was Piper vs. Hogan winner gets a new plastic hip, do you think they would go to commercial?
  • Neither do I.
  • We come back as Eddy taunts La Parka.
  • La Parka reverses an Irish Whip and hits a LOUD Back Brain Kick for two.
  • La Parka measures up and hits a big field goal kick on Eddy.
  • La Parka talks to the camera saying the LWO is finished.
  • La Parka sends Eddy to the corner and follows with an Avalanche Clothesline.
  • La Parka goes to a Reverse Chinlock and pulls on Eddy's face for good measure.
  • There's another big Eddy chant going.
  • Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker from Eddy.  La Parka rolls out of the ring right next to his chair.  Eddy follows.
  • Shot to the gut with the chair.  La Parka follows with a Roundhouse Kick to the side of Eddy's head.
  • He rolls Eddy back in for two.
  • La Parka puts Eddy in a Reverse Chinlock and then goes to a Steiner Recli . .  uh ... Camel Clutch.
  • La Parka chokes Eddy on the ropes.
  • Belly to Belly Suplex on Eddy.
  • La Parka goes up top, but Eddy rolls out of the way of the Corkscrew Moonsault.
  • Eddy gets up quick and nails La Parka with a Flying Back Elbow.
  • Eddy even faster runs up top, Frog Splash!!!
  • 1 . . . 2 . . .3.  Eddy stays undefeated since his return.
  • YOUR WINNER: Eddy Guerrero via Pinfall following the Frog Splash.
  • I like how they ended that match.  It makes the Frog Splash seem like a come from anywhere move.
  • Eddy is looking really good and La Parka is looking really fat.
  • Eddy talks smack to the camera as we fade to commercial.
    
    
• We come back as Savage is cussing at his cell phone to ring.  When he answers it's Kevin Nash getting his shoulders rubbed by an unknown party.  Savage wants George back and Nash says it's going to go down just like in the movies.  Nash tells Savage to be at 16^th and Norfield in 30, no make that 14 minutes and wait by the pay phones or the deal's off.  This whole bit was actually pretty funny as Savage did a good job of being the so angry and nervous that he was speechless.
  
  
• Well this week in WCW Motorsports. . . .  Big surprise Jerry Nadeueu(sp?) loses yet again.  If he's going to suck this bad he could at least try to take Jeff Gordon with him when he loses control of his car.
  
  
• We come back to the Video for "I Hate Rap."  Alright WCW, it's a great angle and a funny song.  DON'T OVERUSE IT!!!
  
  
• Match #4 Silver King, El Dandy, Damian and Villano V vs. Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Kendall Windham, and Bobby Duncum Jr.
  • We have an 8 man tag match as Larry asks if WCW can sue for radio stations playing "I Hate Rap" without permission.
  • Supposedly this is a preparation match for Hennig and Co. for the 8 man tag at Bash at the Beach.
  • This is going to be hard to call, but I shall do my best.
  • Barry Windham and Silver King to start things off.
  • Silver King kips up from a Barry Windham shove so Barry Clotheslines him down.
  • Whip to the corner followed by an Avalanche Clothesline from Barry.
  • Silver King dodges a corner charge hops on the top rope and hits a Missile Drop Kick followed by a Superkick.
  • Tag to El Dandy who comes off the top with a Seated Missile Drop Kick.
  • Barry tags in Kendall Windham.
  • Kendall reverses a Hit Toss into a Lariat.
  • Kendall with punches and whips Dandy who tries another Hip Toss.
  • Kendall reverses this one into a backslide.
  • Dandy tags in Villano who comes off the tope with a Diving Clothesline.
  • Kendall tags in Bobby Duncum.
  • Villano with Drop Kicks and then a Facebuster for two.
  • Duncum tags in Hennig and Villano tags in Damian. 
  • Hennig starts with Knife Edge chops in the corner.
  • Hennig whips Damian into the corner and he tries to leap frog the charge,  but Hennig catches his legs.
  • Headbutt to the . . . er . . . lower extremities.
  • Hennig signature knee-lift on Damian.
  • In comes El Dandy so Hennig beats on him and then distracts the ref so his corner can continue the beatdown.
  • Hennig messing with Dandy so he gets some of those infamous Dandy right hands.
  • Dandy drags Hennig over to his corner so that they can four on one him.
  • Duncum comes in to make the save.
  • Hennig Clothesline on Dandy and he tags in Bobby Duncum.
  • Big Yakuza Kick from Duncum as Dandy charges him.
  • Dandy and Silver King start double teaming Duncum.
  • All 8 men get in the ring at once.
  • The battle goes outside leaving only Kendall Windham and Damian in the ring.
  • Bulldog from Kendall Windham.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3. 
  • YOUR WINNER: The Country Crew via Pinfall following a Kendall Windham Bulldog
  • Hennig tosses Damian out of the ring and the heels cheer in the ring as we go to commercial.
  • That was a pretty good match that didn't last too long like most 6 and 8 man tags can.
    
    
• During the commercial break the Riddler is back to show us how to get "Free Money to Change Your Life."  I still think that book is a phone book that he taped his picture to the front of.
  
  
• When we get back Savage has found the pay phones and is trying to figure out where the call is coming from.  Savage is all up in arms as Nash tells him to switch to decaf. He needs to go four lights back, two lefts, right at the Quick Pick and then two blocks down and Nash will be there.  Savage was pretty funny at the end trying to get directions to the Quick Pick.
  
  
• Match #5 Blitzkrieg vs. Rey Misterio Jr. with Konnan, BA, and Swoll for the Cruiserweight Title
  • Yes, Blitzkrieg this match should rule even though the outcome is already decided.
  • "Believe I'm a bus, BOOP BOOP." :-|
  • Oh yeah and "Hooty Hoo" too.
  • Then BA steals a page from his brother's book o'catchphases.
  • Misterio and Blitz lock up.
  • Fully Armdrag and Twist on Blitz, but Blitz hits the standard luchadore escape.
  • Rey grabs a Side-Headlock.
  • Blitz sends Rey to the corner and charges, but Rey gets the feet up.
  • That spot where it looks like an inverted Split Leg Powerbomb, but it's really an armdrag thing from Rey.
  • Blitz whips Rey into the ropes, but Rey puts on the breaks.
  • Blitz charges and Rey drops him over the top, but Blitz lands on the apron.
  • Blitz tries a Springboard Spinning Heel kick, but Rey ducks.
  • Blitz lands on his feet and whips Rey into a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker for two.
  • Rey blocks an Irish Whip and kicks Blitz in the gut.  Blitz sends him to the opposite corner.
  • Rey jumps catches Blitz by the head and Head Scissor Takeover's him out of the ring.
  • Rey hits a baseball slide out of the ring.
  • Blitz whips Rey into the ring, but Rey tries to jump over. Blitz catches him and Powerbombs him.
  • Asai Moonsault from Blitz onto Rey.
  • Rey back inside and Blitz goes for a standing Moonsault for two.
  • Reverse chinlock and then a Drop Kick from Blitz for two.
  • Another Reverse Chinlock Rey fights out with elbows.
  • Rey ducks a clothesline and follows with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker.
  • Blitz counters with a Clothesline and a hard whip to the opposite corner.
  • Blitz talks trash to the crowd.
  • Vertical Suplex for two from Blitz.
  • Blitz hits a scoopslam and then goes for Springboard Kneedrop, but Rey moves.
  • Rey hits some rights and sends Blitz to the far corner.
  • Stinger Splash from Rey.
  • Another Big Clothesline from Blitz.
  • Blitz is choking Rey in the corner.
  • Rey dodges a Clothesline and counters an attempted Powerbomb with a Head Scissor Takeover.
  • Rey waits in the middle as Blitz goes up top.
  • Rey hits a Drop Kick as Blitz is coming down.
  • Split-leg Moonsault for two from Rey.
  • Blitz reverses an Irish Whip into a Knife-Edge Chop.
  • Blitzkrieg goes for a move that I can only call a Cartwheel Handspring Moonsault, but Rey dodges.
  • Rey buts Blitz up on the top rope and hits the top rope Frankensteiner.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3. Damnit!!
  • YOUR WINNER: Rey Misterio Jr. via Pinfall following the Top Rope Hurricanrana
  • I like Rey as a wrestler, but the Cruiserweight title is a great way to get guys like Blitzkrieg some much deserved heat.
  • Look at what it did for Kidman.
    
    
• We get a Bash at the Beach Main Event promo.  It at least has good music and nice production.
  
  
• I really want to see "American Pie" that movie looks hilarious.
  
  
• We come back to two hummers pulling up and Savage gets out.  A limo pulls up and Nash gets out talking to Savage about how sweet George is.  Savage is about to go ballistic, but he tells Sid to get Nash's belt for him.  They jump Nash and Nash fights them off until the Fake Sting hits Nash with the bat.  Sid grabs George, whose hair is the wrong color, and the hummers pull off.
  
  
• Match #6 Rick Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell for the WCW Television Title
  • Rick comes in first in full Disciple wear.
  • Here comes the Stuff.
  • Here comes the Buff Daddy.
  • I'm really glad that Buff is in the forefront of the Old vs. New angle.  Although it would have been really nice to see Jericho up there.
  • Buff shows off some of his fan's signs as he walks to the ring.
  • The announcers discuss how this is a re-match between Buff and the guy that almost killed him.
  • Steiner talks smack to Buff and then to the fans.
  • "You don't like me?  Bite me!"
  • Nice.
  • As Buff is playing to the fans Steiner hits him in the back with his dog collar.
  • Steiner throws Buff out and pulls up the mats covering the concrete.
  • Steiner goes straight to work on the neck by piledriving Buff into the bare concrete.
  • Steiner Hot Shots Buff on the safety rail.
  • Steiner sends Buff into the rail.
  • Buff drug back into the ring to get a gut from Steiner.
  • Buff ducks a clothesline and hits a Drop Kick.
  • Kick to the stomach followed by a Swinging Neckbreaker.
  • Steiner gets the knees up on the splash.
  • Buff tumbles outside as we go to commercial.
  • The rest of the video for "Crush 'Em."
  • We come back to Steiner choking Buff on the outside with his chain.
  • Steiner is just really stomping a mudhole into Buff.
  • Steiner rolls Buff back in and goes to a Reverse Chinlock.
  • Steiner puts his feet up on the ropes.
  • There's a Buff chant trying to get started in the crowd.
  • Steiner is punching Buff in the back of his neck.
  • Steiner cover for two.
  • More punches to the back of the neck.
  • Return to the Reverse Chinlock.  Steiner plays the heel fairly well I must say.
  • Steiner is really torquing on Buff's neck.
  • Buff trying to get a comeback kicks out of a pin attempt at one.
  • Steiner goes to a modified Camel Clutch.
  • Buff sagging, arm down once, down twice . . . of course it doesn't go down again.
  • Buff elbows out and catches Steiner's attempt at a kick and spins Rick into a series of punches.
  • Big back elbow from Buff followed by a Scoop Slam.
  • Buff charges Steiner and gets caught.
  • Steiner runs him into the opposite corner and sets him up top.
  • Buff beats Steiner off and gets setup for the blockbuster.
  • David Flair(?) runs in hits Buff with the Tazer.
  • WTF???
  • Elbow drop from Steiner and a cover.
  • 1 . . .2 . . .3.
  • YOUR WINNERS: Rick Steiner via Pinfall following Buff being Tazered.
  • Okay match except for the ending and it could have been longer.
    
    
• Well at the end we see Savage get George out of the car, but it turns out to be Torrie Wilson who says that Nash knew Savage would pull something like this so he swapped them out.
  
• Well it's been fun for the last two weeks, but I'm glad Aldo is coming back and I'm sure you guys are too.
  
• Y'all take it easy.

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