WCW Thunder - Wednesday, May 3, 2000

• Jeff F. answers my question about Hogan/Hart:

  You're right in your last Thunder report about Hogan and Hart fighting on Nitro. They had a match, but it was all a swerve as Hart was "injured" and then Sting had a match with Hogan, and then after being "saved" from nWo Black and White from the Wolfpac (God, they sucked) Hart proceeded to turn on Sting for the 169,672,181^th time within about a two month span. Thus, like most of WCW's matches nowadays, the match was just a sham. But hey, at least we have Dewey from the "Scream" flicks as our World Champion.

  <Schiavone>

  Oh, hush, everybody knows that the Hogan/Hart match was the BIGGEST MAIN EVENT IN THE HISTORY OF NITRO!!! Here's Konnan's video!!!

  </Schiavone>

• William W. points out:

  Great Thunder report. I actually boycotted the episode after reading the spoilers. I can't imagine how it must have felt for someone who didn't know what was going to happen.

  Just a quick thought, isn't it funny that nearly 90% of the New Blood featured in the ring during the opening segment of the April 10th Nitro (you know, the ones Russo pledged his allegiance to) have had absolutely no TV time. Crowbar, David Flair, Daffney, Mamalukes, 3 Count, Jung Dragons, Lenny, Lodi, La Parka, Silver King and El Dandy all got dressed up for nothing.

• The infamous Bill F. chimes in with his thoughts:

  Thank you so much for your recap of last night's Thunder. After reading it, I can go home, rewind my tape from last night, and use it again for something meaningful, such as QUINCY or ROCKFORD FILES reruns.

  I apologize for saying this, but I'm glad you had to sit through Thunder instead of me. It sounded like an absolutely horrible show. I enjoy watching wrestling, and even though at this point in time none of my personal favorites seem to be doing anything in WCW now (just when Los Fabulosos were getting a push with Miss Hancock, er, that doesn't sound exactly like what I meant, Russo and Bischoff again send them off to Luchadore Hell), I can still enjoy a good wrestling show; some clever angles, decent matches to further the stories, or conclude one, some interview time to build heat or establish a foundation for a story, etc. I don't need, or want, 20 minute matches every week. But, solid 6-9 minute matches should be the foundation of any two hour wrestling show. Instead, Russo/Bischoff seem to think the 10 minute segment should be 4 minutes of talk/backstage walking, 3 minutes of wrestler intros, 2 minutes of lame in-ring calisthenics (notice I did not say wrestling) and 1 minute of announcers trying to explain what happened and why we should care. This 4-3-2-1 formula sucks, unless one tunes in for the express purpose of watching wrestlers do a lame soap-opera/comedy routine. If that's the case, why go to a wrestling show if you're looking for mostly things other than wrestling.

  And I must again reiterate my scorn at a company for consistently wanting to put non-wrestlers in the ring. And I'm not even talking about David Arquette, yet. I'm talking about Tammy Sytch and Paisley. Yeah, I realize the ultimate goal is only titillation, but how many times can one see Tammy's jiggly thonged butt (see needs to get into shape if she's going to flaunt her flesh) rolling around in the ring before you realize if that's what you want to watch, there are mud wrestling tapes that are better produced, with better looking gals.

  No comment on why WCW doesn't see their continuous actions regarding the championship belt only serves to diminish it. It's really sad to realize that wrestling has become basically an infomercial for other products -- T-shirts, PPV buys, video games, music cd's, movies....etc. I won't go further with this analogy, as you've said it already. I will admit, though, I did laugh at Arquette's line on Nitro (I happened to tune it at the right spot) when he told Bischoff "I'm gonna 1-800-kick your butt!". That was funny. And using a celeb to set up a fight with Bishcoff with the stipulation of a Jarrett/DDP title shot in the balance is an okay and proper use of this type of non-wrestler appearance. But what they did on Thunder far crosses that line.

  Ugh. Really sad. I watched a 90 minute USWA show from early 1991on tape a couple of days ago, and I became very nostalgic about what wrestling was...vs what it has become. And this has nothing at all to do with the fact that Joey Maggs pinned a young Jerry Lynn on that show. Jim Cornette and the Fabulous Ones turning on Jerry Lawlor was the main angle, classic stuff. The mix of interviews, matches and talent was entertaining. It showcased the promotion, and did not pander to mainstream fans who go to the arena or tune in the TV just because it's currently cool to do so.

  Yeah, I'm just an old fashioned wrestling relic. And in today's world of sports entertainment, I just...don't....get....it. Stick a fork in me...I'm done.

  Sorry again about the rant. Thanks for the recap. I feel guilty for spewing this bile without having actually watched the show, but what's the point? I concur wholeheartedly with your comments at the end of the report. The sad thing is, with even a minimal increase in ratings, this will all be deemed a huge success and will serve to perpetuate the insanity.

  Have you heard anything about WCWSN ever showing new matches again? I really miss that show.

• Palmer B. wonders:

  I liked your opinion on the "actor" winning the WCW gold. I kinda think that it is just angle development (somehow). I think that they could be setting up another DDP heel turn at Slamboree and recapture the belt. A sadistic thing inside of me is wondering: DDP vs Arquette in the triple tier steel cage, and Arquette taking flying lessons courtesy of DDP. But think about it: in Ready To Rumble, DDP is a heel. The main event at Slamboree may be based on the movie somewhat. Just my opinion.

  There lies a major problem with WCW's planning. Shouldn't the movie help promote WCW, and not the other way around?

• DDT Digest's own Mel rings in:

  In retrospect, it makes all that criticism Russo took for his Tank Abbott plans look utterly trivial.

  I don't think Vince and Uncle Eric are able to really conceive the magnitude of what they've done with this whole debacle--yes, granted, it fits into Russo's shock and shlock method of booking, and yes, the entire Internet world is now empassioned over something WCW has done, but this isn't the kind of press you want.

  Cardinal rule of wrestling crossovers: You gotta keep 'em separated. Vince may have won the belt and stunned the fanboy world, but he was involved in WWF storylines for months before it happened. The whole LT and Mike Tyson angles were high profile, but they were never intrinsic to a title on the level of actually holding a belt themselves. Hell, the Jay Leno and DDP *thing* was WCW's most prominent angle, but they didn't besmirch any titles during its tenure.

  This crosses over, but in a fashion that's more ridiculous than controversial. David Arquette isn't a celebrity, he's some third-rate hack who got famous off of cotton candy horror flicks and the fact that he's got celebrity siblings. Anybody who actually enjoys this guy's shtick is in the fourteen-and-under demographic, and I can tell you that they sure as hell aren't watching WCW over their MTV fix.

  I think it just comes down to a cut and dry case of overestimation in one's own brilliance. Yeah, that isn't anything new when Russo and Bischoff come to mind. But pimping your title to create a one-week ripple effect without considering the fallout it will cause seven or eight months down the road is just bad business.

• Finally, Justin has a different theory on the David Arquette Era:

  About your long rant in the Thunder Report:

  You're damn right. You're right that Arquette being champ devalues the belt. You're right that there are dozens of wrestlers in the back that deserve that belt a hell of a lot more than Arquette. You're right about all of that. But it gets people thinking about WCW. Are you going to tell me that you're not interested in seeing Nitro just to see what they do with the title? Arquette winning the title is going to be in news, I'm sure. They bring in the mainstream audience to see what's going to happen with Arquette.

  It gets people talking about the company and that's what they need. It might have been a slap in the face of all the wrestlers, but business-wise, it was a stroke of genius.

  Just my two cents.

• Some guy gets out of the limo and bangs on the door.
• The door opens and the babyface factions bum rush the limo.
• It's a huge fracas as the New Blood gets killed.

• Cat is looking more and more like "The Natural" Butch Reed by the day.
• Russo addresses the Millionaire's Club.
• Russo says he is not here to play games.
• Russo calls out everyone in the Club.
• "American Made" brings out The Club and friends.
• Notable non-Club members on the face side include Kanyon, Kronic, Hugh Morrus, Horace Hogan and Curt Hennig.
• Ric Flair has a mic.
• Russo says the fans cheer the Club because they are scum.
• Russo tells Flair he will smack him upside the face.
• Russo says that his boys will go to war tonight.
• Russo says he's going to put names from everyone in The Club in a boot and a member of The New Blood will draw names.
• Russo declares tonight as New York Rules -- no rules or referees.
• Guess we got ourselves a "clipboard show" tonight.
• Flair calls his troops the greatest wrestlers that ever lived.
• Flair says his team will accept the challenge with one difference -- he's going to stick the boot up Russo's [ass].
• The Club rushes the ring as Bischoff and Russo flee with Liz.
• It's a sea of brutality in the ring as security try to break everything up.

• Jarrett has Kim in tow with him tonight, along with his trusty guitar.
• Jarrett addresses Chris Kanyon as the designated victim in this match.
• Kim has a mic. Crap.
• Kim says that after talking to Bischoff, she realizes that DDP is not good enough for her.
• Kim puts herself over and calls DDP a bar-bouncing bum from nowheresville.
• Kim says that everything DDP got in wrestling was due to Bischoff.
• Kim compares DDP to the "wrestling marks" out there.
• Kanyon rushes the aisle and meets Jarrett midway.
• Apparently, you have to count your own pin to win the match.
• Jarrett drops Kanyon on the safety rail.
• Jarrett brings Kanyon in the ring.
• Jarrett with a high knee.
• Jarrett whips Kanyon, who ducks a lariat and gets in a Russian Legsweep.
• Kanyon gets whipped to the corner but raises his leg on a charge.
• Kanyon then goes up top and hits a Fam-asser.
• Kanyon goes up top but misses the swan dive.
• Jarrett clotheslines Kanyon out of the ring.
• Jarrett slams Kanyon's head on the stair.
• Jarrett throws Kanyon over the rail.
• Jarrett snapmares Kanyon back to ringside.
• A chairshot finds the mark on Kanyon's back.
• Back inside, Jarrett whips Kanyon, who gets in a neckbreaker.
• Kanyon with some rights in the corner.
• Kanyon follows with a faceplant.
• "Self-High Five" plays on the PA.
• Either DDP got beamed into the ring by Scotty or this was a clip job.
• Jarrett eats a Diamond Cutter and Kanyon counts his own pin.
• YOUR WINNER: Chris Kanyon in ~3:24 aired.
• Jarod reports that at the tapings, Kim tried to interfere but DDP hit her with a guitar, hence the clipping.
• The clipping was evident at the 10:05 P. M. showing, as well.
• I have to take off one-half Spice for that, yielding...
    

• Some tables are set up at ringside.
• Anyone see Luger going through one of them?
• "Iron Man" brings out Russo and Liz (held by security).
• This distracts Luger, which allows Wall to gain the advantage.
• After a short beating, Ric Flair walks out.
• Flair hits the announcing booth and says that he's making sure Russo doesn't get involved.
• Standard 1997 Lex Luger match follows.
• Luger makes the comeback, but a kneelift ends it.
• Wall with a backbreaker.
• Flair threatens Russo with a chair.
• Luger with more punches.
• Luger with the CLOTHESLINES OF DOOM!
• And the forearm. Can't forget the forearm.
• Luger signals the bird dance and clotheslines Wall out of the ring.
• Luger whips Wall into the rail.
• Luger has words for Russo and gets blindsided by Wall.
• Russo hits Flair with a bat as Luger puts Wall into the Torture Rack.
• Russo bats Luger, sending Wall crashing into the table for the Luger win.
• YOUR WINNER: The Total Package in 3:38.
• Post-match, Russo challenges Flair to a match.
• Flair enters the ring, but Russo puts Liz in his path.
• Liz with a mule kick on Russo. I'm amazed he even sold.
• Flair decks security and goes to apply the figure-four on Russo.
• Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell run-in and beat down Flair.
• Kronic makes the save.
• Kidman comes out and says that he drew Ric Flair's name.
• Kidman walks to the ring as we cut to commercial.
  

• Flair with some chops in the corner but Kidman comes back.
• Kidman goes up top and hits a missile dropkick.
• Kidman with a right.
• Kidman sets Flair on the turnbuckle and gives him a superplex.
• Kidman sends Flair down to the mat with a right.
• And again.
• Kidman whips Flair to the corner.
• Flair Flip!
• Kidman sends Flair back inside.
• Kidman with a punch and a slam.
• Kidman with a slingshot legdrop from the top rope.
• Flair tries to fight back but gets sent down.
• Flair sells like a champ, of course.
• Kidman goes up top but misses the swan dive.
• Flair comes to and drives his shoe into Kidman's groin.
• Flair rips off Kidman's shirt and delivers some chops.
• Flair decks Kidman.
• More chops in the corner.
• Konnan and Rey Mysterio, Jr. run-in for no good reason and beat down Flair.
• "Theme From Wolfpac" brings out Kevin Nash.
• Konnan sends Rey into a Nash elbow.
• Nash has his way with Konnan.
• Nash whips Konnan into a big boot.
• We see Kidman at the entryway backing off.
• Nash with a jackknife powerbomb.
• As Kidman walks to the back, he gets cut off by Hulk Hogan.
• Hogan sends Kidman into the ring.
• Kidman gets dragged out of the ring by Konnan.
• Generic music brings Mike Awesome to the ring.
• Awesome gets beat down two-on-one.
• Nash gives Awesome a jackknife powerbomb at the 6-minute mark.
• Nash says that the winner of the match due to outside interference... is Mike Awesome.
• The sound guy must have good reaction time to know when the wrestlers are coming out.
• I can't rate this one. This was going along until everyone and their mother ran in, completely killing the flow.

• As Vampiro stalks on the entryway, Sting jumps him from behind.
• Sting works Vampiro over on the concrete and pours the fake blood on him.
• Sting throws Vampiro into the ring.
• DDP applies the Diamond Cutter for the easy win.
• YOUR WINNER: Diamond Dallas Page via Diamond Cutter in 0:47.
• And this proved...?
  

• Awesome comes out selling the powerbomb.
• Awesome says that he drew Sting's name out of the boot.
• Awesome tells Sting to "fly his Batman ass out here."
• Awesome hammers Sting to start.
• Awesome with a running clothesline in the corner.
• Awesome slams Sting.
• Awesome with a splash, re-injuring the back. Kudos to Awesome for remembering to sell.
• Sting makes the comeback and gets the punches in the corner.
• Sting with an atomic drop.
• Sting hurls Awesome outside.
• Awesome talks smacks to some fans and shoves them.
• Said fans turn out to be members of the Misfits, who beat down Awesome and bring him into the ring.
• Sting with a couple Stinger Splashes and the Scorpion Deathlock for the immediate tap-out.
• YOUR WINNER: Sting via Scorpion Deathlock in 2:14.
• Sting refuses to let go for a good twenty seconds or so.
• Nothing match, but Awesome remembering his injury is worth a bonus.
  

• Schiavone says that the titles are secondary to the raw emotions tonight.
• Steiner rambles on the mic. I find it funny that Steiner makes fun of the "old people" when Steiner is nearing 40 himself.
• Steiner apparently is wrestling Hulk Hogan this match.
• From Nitro: Hogan gets a bloodbath.
• Hogan charges the ring and gets beaten for his efforts.
• Steiner whips Hogan, who ducks the lariat and hits some rights.
• Hogan with some running clotheslines. Well, running is relative in this case.
• They go outside and over the rail.
• Hugh Morrus is in the crowd.
• Morrus joins in on the beating.
• Steiner goes over the rail.
• Back inside, Steiner gets doubleteamed by Hogan and Morrus.
• Steiner comes back with a double low-blow and clothesline.
• Steiner calls out the troops but no one answers.
• Steiner gets whipped into the big boot.
• Morrus with a nice running clothesline, sending Steiner outside.
• Steiner walks out, screwing the fans out of a match.
• YOUR WINNER: Hulk Hogan via count-out in 2:37.
• This "no referee" rule is ridiculous, as it basically allows the entire Roman Legion to run-in and beat down their opponent.
• However, the rule worked in this case, as it got over the notion that no one would help Scott Steiner when he was being doubleteamed.
• Match sucked, of course.
  

• Bagwell comes out first, followed by Douglas.
• They'll be facing Kronic.
• Case in point about the "no referee" rule -- this match. How are tags going to be enforced?
• Kronic doubleteam Douglas after sending Bagwell out.
• Adams holds Douglas as Clarke goes to the ropes.
• Bagwell trips Clarke and brings him outside.
• Clarke sends Bagwell into the rail.
• In the ring, Douglas with a rolling snapmare on Adams.
• Clarke chokes Bagwell as Adams gives Douglas a variation of Marc Mero's old finisher, the TKO.
• Bagwell sends Clarke into the ring and fends off Adams.
• Bagwell comes off the ropes into a side slam.
• Douglas nails Adams with the title belt.
• Clarke kicks away in the corner.
• Bagwell lifts his boot on a charge.
• Bagwell goes up top and hits the Blockbuster.
• Douglas counts two and Adams breaks it up.
• Again, why didn't Douglas just deliver a fast-count and end the match?
• Kronic then takes over on the heels.
• Bagwell gets dumped out of the ring.
• Kronic nails Douglas with High Times for the win.
• YOUR WINNERS: Kronic via High Times in 4:09.
• Post-match, Kronic hold the tag team belts. Was this a title match?
  

• The entire group heads to ringside.
• Bischoff has Russo confirm that Liz is locked away.
• Bischoff says that the difference between him and Russo is that Russo is an in-your-face type of guy.
• Bischoff, on the other hand, likes to think things through.
• Bischoff says that his group tried to do things the right way.
• Bischoff asks the Millionaire's Club if they want guerrilla warfare.
• The Club makes their way out.
• Bischoff says that there is eleven of his team and eleven of Flair's.
• Flair says he is looking at tradition and that they have nothing to prove.
• Flair proposes an over the top battle royale in which the winner receives a title shot at Great American Bash.
• Bischoff accepts.
• The Club rushes the ring, leading to...

• Disorganized chaos in the ring thus far.
• There are referees at ringside to call eliminations.
• Nothing special going on in the first two minutes over than a Hogan eye poke on Shawn Stasiak.
• Awesome sends Kanyon over the top rope, but he lands on the apron and rolls inside.
• More New Blood members, including Konnan, Rey, Jr., Disco Inferno and the Mamalukes, head out at 3:30.
• Harlem Heat and Norman Smiley make their way out.
• Horace is eliminated by Bam Bam Bigelow at ~4:10.
• There's just too many men in here.
• Tank Abbott walks to the ring.
• Flair cracks Douglas's ribs with a pipe.
• Kanyon gets thrown out just shy of the 6:00 mark.
• Flair enters the ring with his pipe and beans Stasiak, but Tank stops the momentum.
• Curt Hennig is eliminated at ~7:10.
• Steiner talks trash to a couple of referees.
• Kidman tries to roll out of the ring but Smiley gets ahold of him.
• Both members of Kronic are eliminated at ~8:20.
• Commercials.
• Tank chokes Wall on the ropes, but Wall elbows out.
• Kidman tries to send Smiley over but no dice.
• Douglas and Wall work over Flair.
• Sting takes some shots with the pipe.
• Candido tries to eliminate Big Vito but he hangs on.
• Buff Bagwell gets sent over the rope at ~9:50.
• Sting and Vampiro go over the top at ~10:15 and slug it out at ringside.
• Sting whips Vamp into the rail.
• Hogan gets choked by Douglas.
• Sting suplexes Vamp on the entryway.
• Chavo eliminates someone.
• Madusa and Asya hit ringside as wrestlers get weeded out.
• The women work over Shane Douglas as Mike Awesome tries to pull Madusa off.
• Mona runs in and attacks Asya.
• Flair actually hits an elbow off the top rope!
• Cash with some kneelifts on Hogan in the corner.
• Wall headbutts Asya.
• I'd say there's about 15 or so guys left at the 13:00 mark.
• Patriotic music brings out "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.
• Duggan goes to town with his "Human Toilet Plunger," as called by Heenan.
• Bigelow and The Cat become victims of Duggan-mania.
• Smiley gets sent over as well.
• Tank Abbot is eliminated.
• Duggan exits the ring and chases Tank to the back at ~14:35.
• We take a shot of the limo and a door opens.
• We see some guy walking but no face shots.
• About ten guys are left after 15 minutes.
• Awesome and Candido boot-choke Flair in the corner.
• Kidman punches on Hogan, who gets a shot back.
• Jarrett jabs Hogan with a pipe.
• The mystery man is walking backstage.
• The mystery man turns out to be... Randy Savage! Oh my!
• Savage runs over the New Blood with axehandles.
• Double coconuts on Wall and Jarrett.
• Stasiak and Wall are eliminated.
• Savage throws Candido over the top at ~17:05.
• Savage pummels Douglas and heads outside.
• DDP and Jarrett eliminate themselves.
• It's now Hogan, Kidman, Flair and Douglas.
• Hogan has Kidman laid out.
• Bret Hart is walking to ringside.
• Hogan clotheslines Kidman.
• Hart levels Hogan with a chair and leaves the ring.
• Hogan rolls outside of the ring.
• Flair, Kidman and Douglas remain in the ring.
• Flair sends Kidman over the top rope.
• Flair puts the figure-four on Douglas.
• Russo rushes ringside with a bat.
• Russo takes a swing but Flair moves and Douglas' leg gets smashed.
• Flair grabs the bat and chases Russo out of the ring.
• Flair nails Douglas with the bat, sending him over the top to win the battle royale!
• YOUR WINNER: Ric Flair in 19:27.
• So, was Hogan eliminated then?
• Anyway, we're not done yet.
• Hogan goes for a suplex on Kidman on the table, but Bischoff nails Hogan from behind, sending him through the table.
• Savage raises Flair's hand in the ring.
• Bischoff counts a Kidman pinfall on Hogan.
• We see Jarrett and DDP climbing the scaffolding by the entryway.
• Savage exits the ring to run Bischoff out of ringside.
• Savage tends to Hogan and the two touch hands.
• While this was going on, DDP was sent flying off the scaffolding into a table below. More on this below.
• We get the copyright notice and we fade...
• Too many men at the beginning, but this sucker picked up at the end.
• No rating for battle royales.

The show was to end with a stunt where DDP and Jarrett were fighting on a scaffold or ladder. The idea was Arquette would hit Jarrett with a guitar and he'd take a bump through a gimmicked part of the stage. The only problem was that Asya accidentally stepped into the gimmicked part after she was eliminated, so everyone could see it. Then Arquette also stepped into it and actually fell in. So DDP and Jarrett had to improvise. DDP took the bump.

Too bad such editing jobs weren't around when The Shockmaster graced us (and the concrete) with his presence.