As for me, I haven't made up my mind as to whether I'll be there or not. If I do show, look for a guy carrying a sign referring to someone familiar around these parts. :-)
- We start off with a Cruiserweight title defense.
- Candido says that his life has gotten easier with Tammy by his side.
- Candido says to the crowd that they can look, but not touch.
- Tammy takes off her jacket and thankfully, we don't see cottage cheese tonight.
- Crowbar will be the challenger tonight.
- Crowbar attacks upon entering the ring.
- Candido reverses a whip to the corner but eats a boot.
- Crowbar with a sloppy headscissors takeover.
- Crowbar charges at Candido and floats over.
- A series of reversals leads to a Candido DDT for two.
- Crowbar hits a Spicolli Driver and goes to the apron.
- Crowbar nails a somersault legdrop.
- Tammy gets on the apron and Crowbar grabs her.
- Candido attacks from behind and backdrop suplexes him out of the ring.
- Candido with a pescado to the outside.
- Tammy gives Candido a chair but Crowbar hits a missile dropkick.
- Crowbar sets up a chair and punches Candido onto it.
- Crowbar hits the apron and delivers a diving clothesline on Candido.
- Crowbar re-enters the ring and elbowdrops the mat.
- Crowbar charges at Candido and gets suplexed onto the raised platform outside the ring.
- Candido biels Crowbar into the ring.
- Crowbar blocks a suplex and hits The Mindbender (sit-out gourdbuster) for two.
- Crowbar with a dropkick in the corner.
- Crowbar mounts Candido up top and goes for a move but Candido counters with a powerbomb.
- Candido sets up for the diving headbutt but Daffney enters the ring and low-blows him.
- Daffney then goes up top and hits her Frankenscreamer.
- Tammy then enters the ring for the customary catfight.
- Candido grabs Daffney from behind but gets hit in the Hard Knox.
- Candido breaks free of a slam attempt and hits a piledriver.
- Candido goes up top and hits the diving headbutt for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: "Hard Knox" Chris Candido via diving headbutt in 4:52.
- Basically it's just the four walking around New York.
- Crowbar points out that movies are a quarter. Of course, he didn't say they were adult movies, but that's beside the point.
- Russo tells Daffney to run around while they see an adult film.
- My God, that is the biggest damned gut I've ever seen on Big T.
- The Patron Saint cuts a promo, telling Terry Funk to get his ass out to the ring.
- Funk comes out, chickens and all.
- Funk nails the Heat members with said chickens until the strength in numbers theory kicks in.
- Stevie with some punches near the ropes followed by a choke.
- Big T goes to the raised platform and dives in with a flying clothesline! Didn't think he had it in him!
- Big holds Funk as Stevie goes to the middle rope.
- Stevie hits a flying clothesline.
- Does Kash ever do anything besides stand there?
- Oh, wait, he's holding Funk for Big T.
- Food for thought -- WCW didn't think Chris Jericho was worth resigning, yet Kash remains on the roster.
- Kash hits a splash but Stevie breaks the pin.
- Stevie holds Funk for a Big T lid shot.
- Big hesitates and then hits Stevie as Funk ducks.
- Big then decks Kash.
- Stevie and Big brawl outside the ring.
- As Kash wonders what is going on, Funk brains him with a chair for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Terry Funk via pinfall in 3:19.
- Bischoff looks disgusted backstage.
- Post-match, referees break up the melee between Stevie and Big T.
- Does this mean we get six months of "You're Going Down!" again?
- Tenay wonders why Vampiro shows up "in character."
- Vampiro says that he's always in character.
- Vamp talks about how he wears makeup and tattoos because of his love for underground music.
- Vamp talks about how he gets criticized and ridiculed for the things he believes in.
- Vamp talks about how Sting gets pampered.
- Vamp says that he was influenced by the mixture of rock 'n' roll and pro wrestling.
- Vamp says that Sting is worried about his schedule.
- Vamp shows off "Steve's vulture" (Sting's real first name is Steve), which he apparently took.
- Vamp then brings up Ozzy Osborne's record signing and how he bit off the head of a dove.
- Vamp says that the incident wasn't documented on film and that he wants to recreate the scene.
- Tenay tries to talk Vamp out of it, but Sting literally beats him to the punch.
- Sting basically beats the crap out of Vamp, then offers to give him his first cage match -- by slamming the bird cage over his head.
- Sting then has some words for "Ian" (Vamp's real first name), who basically laughs it off.
- You know, if Stasiak was going to rip off the "Mr. Perfect" gimmick, why not bring out the towel and chew gum?
- From Nitro: Curt Hennig helps out his former rival.
- Lash LeRoux comes to the ring and gets a mic.
- Lash wants himself to be called Corporal Cajun.
- Curt Hennig makes his way out to do commentary.
- Stasiak begins with some punches.
- Stasiak whips LeRoux into an attempted slam, but LeRoux rolls him up for two.
- Lash tries a floatover in the corner but Stasiak facedrops him.
- Punches and stomps galore in the corner by Lash.
- Tilt-a-whirl powerbomb gets two.
- Stasiak sends Lash out of the ring.
- Stasiak slams Lash's head on the safety rails and announcer's table.
- Back inside, Stasiak goes up top and hits a flying clothesline for two.
- Stasiak whips Lash, who gets in a kick.
- Lash charges at Stasiak and floats over to the raised platform.
- Lash with a missile dropkick.
- Lash with a back bodydrop.
- Lash with some punches and the Bourbon Street Blues, but Stasiak ducks.
- A sloppy sequence leads to both men going outside.
- As Stasiak enters the ring, Lash gets elevated and dropped onto the table by Hennig.
- Stasiak hits the fisherman's suplex for three.
- YOUR WINNER: Shawn Stasiak via fisherman's suplex in 3:10.
- Post-match, the Misfits In Action hit the ring and Hennig bails.
- Daffney goes crazy over a fake Statue of Liberty.
- Russo explains that every day they put the Statue in a different place.
- This is supposed to be funny, by the way.
- Remember what I said about Kash earlier in my report? Same thing applies here.
- Security walks Liz to the ring.
- From Nitro: Liz snaps.
- Liz tries to back away from Singh but gets throttled into the corner.
- Liz tries to break in the corner but Singh has none of it.
- Singh shoves Charles Robinson out of the way and throttles Liz with her big ass.
- Liz is showing some good emotion, I'll say that.
- Lex Luger enters the ring and stands between the two women.
- Singh charges at Luger, who evades.
- Liz then nails Singh with a double-boot.
- Luger then puts Singh in the Torture Rack for the win?
- YOUR WINNER: Elizabeth (??) in 1:59.
- Luger and Liz embrace after the match.
- Post-match, "The Curtain Jerker" Chuck Palumbo enters the ring with a bat.
- Palumbo nails Liz in the back then goes to work on Luger until we fade.
- That decision made no sense, but I did like how Liz was conveying fear, so I'll go...
- Daffney is carrying a couple championship belts with her.
- Russo asks for a moment of silence for the departed "Nature Boy" Ric Flair.
- Russo talks about Flair leaving Nitro after "being done with the wrestling business."
- Russo takes credit for breaking Ric Flair.
- Russo says that the fans don't know about the other side of Ric Flair.
- Russo says that for 21 years, Ric tortured his son.
- Russo says that David has a real father.
- Russo wants David to tell the fans the real story of the Nature Boy.
- David gets in a hearty "Shut up while I'm talking."
- David says that Ric was never there for him.
- David asks where Ric was on his first day of school, first baseball game and prom.
- David: "He weren't there!" Grammar school, Corky.
- David's two favorite words seem to be "Shut up."
- I think Arn Anderson needs to give this guy some promo lessons.
- David says that he doesn't have time for his father.
- Russo says this goes beyond Ric Flair.
- David calls out "Uncle Arn."
- Speaking of Arn Anderson, Horsemen music brings him out to a good pop!
- Arn: "After all you've done, all you can come up with an excuse is 'I'm mad'?"
- Arn talks about how he never knew his dad.
- Arn calls Russo a groupie with power.
- Arn says the reason Russo deals with David is that Russo can control him.
- Arn says that Russo can tell David a 1,000 different ways to eclipse his father.
- Arn talks about how he teamed with Ric for fifteen years and how he was compared to Ric.
- Arn says that he's been with Flair for 320 days a year and seen him get anxiety attacks over not seeing David graduate.
- Arn talks about how Ric would wrestle with a 105 degree temperature because the fans ("you and you and you") paid to see him wrestle.
- Arn says that David never had real-life problems, only situations such as "what college he is going to and what car he going to get at graduation."
- Russo says that what Arn is saying is horsecrap.
- Russo talks about how Arn said two weeks ago that he has one good fight left.
- Russo books Arn in a match with David Flair.
- Arn says that he has a friend in the back who can loan him a pair of tights and boots.
- Arn says that he isn't the Enforcer anymore but David sure as hell isn't The Nature Boy.
- Arn: "Let's do it."
- Great interview for Arn, as always. If you taped this show, you probably noticed that I can't do Arn's words any justice.
- With Arn's neck, however, I don't see much of a match taking place.
- Palumbo comes out with Luger's music and even does the posedown.
- Funk comes out for another title defense.
- Didn't I see this last Monday on USA?
- Palumbo chairs at Funk on the aisle and bashes him with a chair.
- Palumbo clotheslines Funk into the ring.
- Palumbo pulls a table from under the ring and brings it inside.
- The table gets set up into the corner.
- Palumbo whips Funk into said table.
- Funk goes outside and Palumbo follows with an axehandle.
- Funk fires back with fists.
- Funk throws Palumbo over the rail.
- We now do the "fight in the crowd" spot.
- Now the two go backstage, with Funk in control.
- Funk puts Palumbo on a crate and rolls him into some equipment.
- They beat each other up with trash cans.
- Now, Funk and Palumbo head outside.
- Palumbo tries to slam Funk onto a spinning fan but Luger makes the save.
- Luger tosses Palumbo into a dumpster and stomps away.
- Funk then covers Palumbo for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Terry Funk via pinfall in 4:21.
- And this proved...?
- Post-match, Luger commands Palumbo to tell him where Liz is.
- R&B Security mace Luger and cuff him.
- Palumbo slams Luger into a door and says that he is the main event.
- If Horace loses this match, he gets fired. Also, Hulk cannot interfere in this match.
- Bischoff reiterates this point by saying that Horace will be fired if Hulk steps in.
- Horace charges the ring to start.
- Horace whips Kidman in the corner and delivers a urinage.
- Horace with a shoulderblock in the corner.
- Horace whips Kidman to the corner and clotheslines him.
- Kidman decks Charles Robinson.
- As Robinson calls for the DQ, Bischoff grabs the mic and says the match is no-DQ.
- Outside the ring, Horace beans Kidman with a chair.
- Kidman dropkicks Horace as Bischoff has his attention.
- Bischoff changes the rules again, saying this is falls-count-anywhere.
- Kidman covers and gets two.
- Back inside, Kidman with a slingshot legdrop.
- Horace comes back with a big boot.
- As Horace beats on Kidman, Bischoff calls this a handicap match now.
- Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Jr. and Juventud Guerrera jump the ring and take over.
- Juvi delivers his rendition of The People's Elbow, followed by a Rey, Jr. Bronco Buster in the corner.
- The heels bring Horace into the center of the ring.
- Kidman goes up top and hits a Savage Elbow for two.
- Horace comes back with a Spicolli Driver for the three count.
- Bischoff comes up with another rule change on the fly -- Texas Death Match. Kidman has ten-seconds to get up.
- Kidman gets up at nine.
- Horace kicks away in the corner.
- Bischoff enters the ring and bashes Horace in the back with a chair.
- It's a mudhole stomp on Horace.
- Bischoff makes this an "I Quit" match now.
- Bischoff says that Horace is too valuable to lose.
- Bischoff asks Horace to join the New Blood.
- Horace spits in Bischoff's face, so Bischoff tells his troops to pin Horace.
- The Filthy Animals then dogpile on Horace for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Kidman via pinfall in 6:17.
- Post-match, Hulk Hogan clears the ring as Bischoff hides out of the ring.
- As Hulk tends to his nephew, Bischoff comes in with a chair.
- Hulk no-sells the chair shot and chases Bischoff to the back.
- The Animals beat on Horace some more until Kevin Nash stalks to the ring with a baseball bat.
- The Animals scatter as Nash enters the ring.
- "Iron Man" brings out Vince Russo, who stays on the entryway.
- Russo says he got Nash's message from Monday night.
- Russo asks Nash how many brain cells he's burnt over the years.
- Russo runs down some of Nash's old gimmicks.
- Russo says he will make Nash cool again.
- It's shades of "You Can't Do That On Television," as red liquid falls on Nash from above.
- Nash stalks toward Russo as we fade.
- Gee, I swear I've seen this "changing the stips on the fly" angle before, but I just can't place it.
- Nahh, what am I thinking? Russo wouldn't steal from the competition, no sir'ree!
- The booking drops this match to...
- This will be Arn's first match since January 1997.
- Lockup, Arn tries a hammerlock and pushes David away.
- Arn with a headlock.
- Arn goes to the ropes and takes David down.
- David throttles Arn in the corner.
- Arn comes back with punches.
- Arn rams David's head into the corner.
- David with an eye gouge and some chops.
- David does the Fargo Strut.
- Arn turns David around and hits some lefts.
- Crowbar comes in, runs the ropes but Arn hits the spinebuster!
- Daffney comes in from behind but stops when Arn looks at her.
- Arn grabs Daffney and elbows David in the face.
- Daffney hits a low blow on Arn.
- David follows with a blow to the head with the statue.
- As David puts Arn in the figure-four, Crowbar throws referee Jamie Tucker out of the ring.
- Crowbar hits a legdrop and then counts a pinfall for David at 2:11.
- We see that Arn is busted open on the top of his head.
- Well, I guess it can't be any worse than putting The Renegade over.
- Rick Steiner comes out to music last used by Mike Enos. Remember him?
- From Nitro: Rick turns on his brother.
- Rick says that there's two things that don't mean anything to the wrestling world anymore: Who's Next and Goldberg.
- Rick says the guy he's going to bring out is not flashy, not pretty but will knock Goldberg out.
- Rick brings out Tank Abbott, who enters to Goldberg's music.
- Tank even gets the R&B Security escort.
- Tank walks out with sparklers and then tosses them to the side.
- Rick says that he tried to keep his brother Scott from getting fired "last night."
- Rick talks about how Scott turned on him and joined the nWo.
- Rick says that "last night," now they are even.
- Tank says he's going to run Goldberg's ass over.
- Tank calls Goldberg a piece of garbage.
- Kronic comes out with the tag team belts.
- Adams says he is impressed with the shooting backgrounds of the heels but wishes they would stop shooting their yaps.
- Rick runs down his catchphrases.
- Kronic charges the ring and it's a pier-four.
- Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas run-in to help the heels.
- Buff and Douglas steal the belts and head to the back.
- Scott Steiner tries to run-in, but R&B security hold him back.
- Scott evades security and hits the ring but Rick runs out of the ring.
- It's a huge schmozz of wrestlers and rent-a-cops.
- Adams gives a member of security a cobra clutch slam.
- Another security member gets High Times.
- Scott brings another security member onto the turnbuckle for a belly-to-belly suplex.
- The Goldberg monster truck demolishes the car of Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner outside.
- No real match here, so no rating.
- David gets on his knee and proposes to Daffney.
- Don't yell at me. I didn't make this nickname.
- From Nitro: Awesome powerbombs DDP onto a table.
- The loser of this match is the one who gets put into the ambulance.
- Awesome hammers on Sting as he enters the ring.
- Awesome delivers a splash in the corner.
- Awesome goes outside and grabs a table.
- Awesome carries the table on the entryway but Sting dropkicks him.
- Sting stomps on Awesome and then sets the table next to the ropes.
- Sting back bodydrops Awesome onto the table.
- Assorted brawling next to the ambulance.
- Sting shoves Awesome off the stage onto the ambulance.
- Sting rams Awesome into the vehicle.
- They fight on top of the ambulance.
- Awesome tries to powerbomb Sting on the ambulance but Sting reverses into the Scorpion Deathdrop!
- Sting goes to open the door and gets met by Vampiro, who spits red blood on his face.
- Vamp shoves Sting into the ambulance and closes the door.
- The bell sounds, and Awesome is your winner.
- YOUR WINNER: Mike Awesome in 3:15.
- The ambulance drives off with Awesome lying on top.