- Matt Perri voices his disgust with Shane Douglas:
Let's see...
Shane Douglas has been in WCW for about a month or so. In that time, he does nothing, his Revolution gets run over CONSTANTLY getting great coverage on THUNDER ONLY, helping Malenko, Saturn, and the great Chris Benoit, three wrestlers WHO DON'T NEED HELP, he talks endlessly about how they're gonna' "take WCW back" when Sting, Goldberg, and Hogan are the ones doing that, he faces reeeeeally tough opponents like The Rednecks, Sid and "The Hairface" Rick Steiner, people who've been aren't even CLOSE to being the nWo, and he's been through three separate wrestling franchises.
Tell me AGAIN why Douglas is being hailed to as, "The Franchise"?
Just wondering.
Could be the fact that Douglas eats at Wendy's so much, they just give him the restaurant, hence, Shane "The (Wendy's) Franchise" Douglas.
- In our next submission, Brad A. Trost ponders:
Why oh why is Sid Vicious on my television? Is there some way that we can get a Sid Vicious V-chip which would block out all the pointless drivel this orange-like dude is spewing?
I half expect to see some blood spewing out of his neck when he's talking. Watching Sid is worse that watching a L. A. Clippers basketball game, a Florida Marlins baseball game and a Cincinnatti Bengals football game back to back to back.
I'll bet Eric B. has some trouble sleeping at night knowing that he let Chris Jericho go to the WWF and Sidney is bumping around with his veins popping out.
Just say no to Sid.
- Mungin comments about Universal Soldier: The Return:
Well, Universal Soldier: The Return has been out for a few weeks, and it is safe to say it has made all the money that it is capable of making. Even after the infinite attempts to get the movie over with wrestling fans, it only made slightly less than $10 million in a month. This is like five times less than what it cost. I hope this serves as a lesson to Bret Hart, Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper the next time they try to make a stupid movie with no plot and bad acting.
- Lodi and Lenny come out first, followed by Kidman.
- WCW is actually calling Lodi and Lenny the "West Hollywood Blondes."
- Lodi and Lenny embrace after the bell.
- Lockup, Lodi hits some kneelifts.
- Kidman slides under Lodi after a whip and whips him.
- Lodi gets in a drop toe-hold and slaps Kidman on his ass.
- Kidman, rightfully pissed off, makes a comeback and hits a dropkick.
- Kidman clotheslines Lodi out of the ring.
- Lenny goes to console Lodi, and the two eat a plancha over the top rope by Kidman!
- Back inside, Lenny distracts Kidman, allowing Lodi to get a guillotine legdrop on the apron as Kidman tends to Lenny.
- Lodi gets a suplex for two.
- Lodi sends Kidman to the corner and hits some headthrusts to the chest.
- Kidman reverses a cross-corner whip and hits a clothesline on Lodi's rebound.
- Kidman comes off the ropes and gets hit in the gut by Lodi.
- Lodi hits a bulldog for two.
- Lodi sends Kidman out of the ring.
- Kidman gets sent back in, and Lodi covers for two.
- Lodi with a chinlock.
- Kidman elbows out, goes to the ropes and gets sent out of the ring by an elbow.
- Lenny and Kidman fight outside the ring.
- Lodi comes off the top turnbuckle with a tope on both men.
- Kidman is brought back in and Lodi goes up top.
- The gullotine legdrop misses.
- Kidman hits his turnbuckle bulldog for two.
- Kidman floats over a suplex.
- Lodi tries a powerbomb. Sigh...
- Kidman goes up top and kicks Lenny off the apron when he attempts interference.
- Lodi goes up top and superplexes Kidman for two.
- Lenny jumps on the apron to cheer Lodi on.
- Eddie Guerrero comes to ringside, takes Lenny off the apron and the two fight.
- Kidman runs out of the corner and hits a frankensteiner for two.
- Chavo Guerrero, Jr. comes out to bitch and then walks away.
- Kidman and Lodi grapple and they run into Lenny on the apron.
- Kidman then hits a standing short-powerbomb for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Kidman via standing short-powerbomb in 6:44.
- Looks like no Gene Okerlund this week. Not like I'm complaining or anything.
- Booker T comes out in a dress shirt and tie.
- Tenay notes that Stevie Ray is absent in this segment.
- Booker says that his brother is on the way to a hospital due to a lump on his head.
- Apparently, Sid Vicious and Rick Steiner put Stevie out after that last segment.
- Booker says that Sid and Steiner have to cheat to win.
- Booker tells Sid to take his big ass out here and take a beating tonight.
- Tenay talks about Sid's "winning streak."
- Booker shares my sentiments by saying that the Millenium Man is a phony and a fraud.
- Looks like it's Booker T vs. Sid Vicious tonight.
- Next up is a women's match.
- Brandi comes out first.
- She'll be facing Mona tonight.
- I haven't seen Brandi in action, but Mona is a good worker.
- Brandi plays to the crowd and gets booed for her efforts, whereas Mona is cheered.
- Brandi calls for a test of strength.
- They lock up, and Brandi takes Mona down.
- Mona monkeyflips Brandi and floats over for two.
- Mona tries a bridge for two.
- Mona with a drop toehold into a front chancery.
- Brandi with a headlock.
- Brandi goes off the ropes and hits a shoulderblock.
- Mona hits an armdrag takedown and a dropkick.
- Brandi goes outside to collect her thoughts.
- Brandi pulls Mona outside and clotheslines her.
- Brandi brings Mona to the aisle and scoop slams her.
- Brandi sends Mona back inside.
- Brandi puts the boots to Mona.
- Brandi does a knee choke on the rope.
- Brandi sends Mona face-first to the turnbuckle.
- Brandi does a hair-pull throw.
- Brandi whips Mona into a front kick for two.
- Mona reverses a whip and telegraphs a back bodydrop.
- This allows Brandi to hit a kick and a gutwrench suplex.
- Brandi whips Mona to the corner, who leaps onto the turnbuckle and does a headscissors.
- Mona lands a forearm smash, ducks a clothesline and hits a backdrop suplex.
- Mona lands some chops.
- In the corner, Mona does a monkeyflip.
- Mona attempts a monkeyflip in the other corner, but Brandi blocks, puts her feet on the ropes and pins Mona.
- YOUR WINNER: Brandi Alexander via pinfall in 4:58.
- Decent match. The opening exchange was very good, but there could have been less stalling.
- The Beautiful Saturn makes his way out.
- He'll be facing Chavito tonight.
- Lockup, Saturn applies a headlock.
- Saturn runs over Chavo with a shoulderblock.
- Lockup, Saturn applies a hammerlock.
- Chavo counters with a fireman's carry takedown.
- More mat wrestling follows.
- Saturn levels Chavo with a clothesline.
- Saturn whips Chavo, who stops and exits the ring.
- Nick Patrick is your referee, by the way.
- Chavo kips up from an armbar and whips Saturn.
- Chavo ducks under Saturn, who responds with some stomps to the back.
- Saturn whips Chavo, who tries to duck under, but Saturn grabs him by the hair.
- Saturn hits a shoulderblock.
- Saturn sends Chavo outside after a German suplex.
- Back in, Chavo floats over Saturn and lands on the apron.
- Chavo tries to send Saturn to the turnbuckle, but he reverses.
- Saturn goes to the middle rope and suplexes Chavo into the ring.
- Saturn is just dominating here.
- Saturn whips Chavo to the corner.
- Chavo floats over a charging Saturn and gets a dropkick to the knee.
- Chavo clotheslines Saturn out of the ring.
- Chavo hits a slingshot crossbody to the outside.
- Back inside, Chavo covers for two.
- Chavo slows things down with a resthold.
- Saturn gets up, hurls Chavo to opposite corners and hits a T-Bone suplex.
- Saturn hits a flying forearm smash.
- Saturn with an overhead release suplex for two.
- Saturn mounts Chavo on the turnbuckle.
- Eddie Guerrero runs to the apron and goes for a clothesline on Saturn, but hits Chavo's leg when Saturn evades.
- As Saturn stands over Chavo, Eddie comes in the ring and dropkicks Saturn in the back.
- Saturn ends up running Chavo into the turnbuckle and falls down.
- Chavo falls head-first on Saturn's crotch and then pins him.
- YOUR WINNER: Chavo Guerrero, Jr. via pinfall in 6:15.
- Another good match. It was tainted, but a victory for Chavo is a good victory nonetheless.
- According to Squeegee's sign, Sid has a 99-0 winning record. See my comments below.
- Supposedly, Sid has a restraining order on Goldberg. If Goldberg touches Sid at any time until Havoc, the U.S. title match is off. Shades of Giant vs. Kevin Nash in 1998.
- Sid rambles on the mic and my brain starts to tune out.
- Sid addresses Booker T.
- Sid mocks Booker and Goldberg for doing meet-and-greets with children.
- Sid calls Booker T a bug-eyed fool. Wow, I've heard better insults on an elementary school playground.
- Zzz...
- Sid reiterates that his record is 99-0.
- Squeegee pulls out a sign that says: "Booker T, You're Next! 100-0."
- The Cubs Fan: I'm killing Sid if they job Booker T to him. That's soooooooo wrong on soooooooo many levels.
- Sid mentions the restraining order he has on Goldberg.
- Freakin' ridiculous. Sid was 88-0 almost a week ago, and I'm sure he didn't get eleven wins (or even wrestle eleven times) during that span. If you're going to bullshit a winning streak, at least make it believable.
- Hoo-boy.
- Apparently, Stern plans to bring Biggs to Thunder.
- Biggs acts like an idiot as he says he's going to Thunder.
- Don't tell me I have to watch this doofus wrestle tonight.
- Why the hell is this guy on my screen? Why?!?
- Iaukea will be getting his ass handed to him by Van Hammer.
- This is going to suck on many levels, folks.
- Iaukea attacks Hammer from behind. He's got a harder edge, you know.
- Iaukea goes behind and rolls up Hammer for one.
- Hammer gets a kneelift and a scoop slam.
- Iaukea small packages Hammer for two.
- Iaukea with a headbutt.
- Iaukea works over Hammer in the corner.
- Hammer reverses a whip, but Iaukea hits some eyepokes.
- Hammer sends Iaukea to the corner.
- Iaukea flips out of a backdrop suplex and rolls Hammer up for two.
- Hammer applies an inverted atomic drop.
- Hammer hits a big boot.
- Hammer hoists Iaukea and rams him into the corner.
- Hammer hangs Iaukea on the turnbuckle, goes out and applies a chinlock.
- Hammer returns inside the ring and mounts Iaukea on the turnbuckle.
- Hammer then biels Iaukea to mid-ring.
- Hammer with a scoop slam.
- Hammer applies a reverse chinlock.
- Hammer bounces on Iaukea's back and goes back to the chinlock.
- Repeat above line.
- Zzz...
- Iaukea rolls over on another bounce attempt and kicks Hammer in the jimmy.
- Iaukea makes the comeback.
- Iaukea connects with a dropkick.
- Iaukea hits a Samoan Drop.
- Iaukea runs Hammer head-first into two turnbuckles, but Hammer reverses a third attempt.
- Hammer hits a spinebuster.
- Hammer finishes Iaukea off with a cobra clutch slam.
- YOUR WINNER: Van Hammer via cobra clutch slam in 4:58.
- Post-match, Hammer grabs the announcer's mic and says he wants the winner of tonight's main event next Monday.
- That was six minutes of my life that I'll never get back. But, we are building to a match on Nitro, so I can forgive this segment.
- I'm waiting for Shane Douglas to say: "Are you ready...for a triple cheeseburger???!!!"
- Steiner gets the mic upon entering the ring.
- Steiner has some words for Booker T.
- Steiner runs off his catchphrases.
- Please, please, don't let Eddie job to his washed-up hack.
- Eddie tries to go behind, but Steiner has none of it.
- Eddie tries a single-leg takedown, but gets pushed to the turnbuckle.
- Eddie goes behind and Steiner counters with a suplex.
- Steiner rams Eddie into the turnbuckle and does a clubberin'.
- Steiner whips Eddie into a flying forearm.
- Steiner covers for two.
- Steiner yanks on Eddie's face.
- Steiner pounds on Eddie's back and goes to a chinlock.
- Steiner lands a right and dumps Eddie out of the ring.
- Steiner tries to whip Eddie into the rail, but it gets reversed.
- Eddie charges at Steiner but hits the rail.
- Steiner chokes Eddie with the TV cable.
- Eddie fires back, but since Steiner won't sell, you guess the result.
- Eddie is brought back inside.
- Steiner slaps Eddie's face.
- Eddie gets some punches in.
- Steiner is whipped to the ropes.
- Steiner grabs Eddie on a leapfrog and gives him a spinebuster.
- Eddie comes off the ropes and delivers a frankensteiner!
- Sid Vicious makes his way out.
- Sid intercepts Eddie going up top and gives him a chokeslam.
- YOUR WINNER: Eddie Guerrero via DQ in 3:47.
- Kidman tries to make the save but it's no good.
- As Steiner applies a belly-to-belly suplex on Eddie, Kidman receives a powerbomb for the first time in recent memory.
- B-b-b-bite me.
- Evan comes out slapping hands.
- The Lollipop Brothers come out for the second time tonight.
- Sign: "Lenny is Hard to Beat!" I won't even go there.
- Lenny applies a waistlock and takes Evan down.
- Evan goes to the ropes to escape.
- Lenny kicks Evan and applies a hammerlock.
- Evan reverses and takes Lenny down.
- Lenny goes to the ropes to escape Evan's punches.
- We then take a commercial break after that exciting minute or so of action.
- We come back at the 4:20 mark, oddly enough.
- Lenny has Evan in a chinlock.
- Evan fights out, goes to the ropes, spins around Lenny and brings him to the mat.
- Evan ends up on the apron and hits a springboard crossbody for two.
- Lenny sends Evan into the turnbuckle.
- Lenny with a scoop slam.
- Lenny covers in a 69 position for two.
- Evan tries a comeback but it's short lived.
- Lenny kicks Evan and gives him a gorilla press release slam.
- Evan fights back on his knee, but Lenny stops the momentum.
- Evan floats over a backdrop suplex.
- They do a double-clothesline spot.
- Evan punches Lenny, whips him and gives him a back bodydrop.
- Evan chops Lenny in the corner.
- Lenny ends up on the top turnbuckle and Evan goes up top.
- Lenny punches Evan and goes for a superplex.
- Evan counters and gives Lenny a sit-down powerbomb.
- Evan hits a neckbreaker and goes up top.
- Lodi interferes and trips Evan.
- Lenny covers for two.
- Lenny tries a powerbomb, but Evan sunset flips him for two.
- Evan ducks a clothesline and Lenny stops before hitting Lodi.
- Evan dropkicks Lenny from behind, who runs into Lodi.
- Evan goes off the ropes and hits a sunset flip.
- Lenny grabs Evan and catapults him into Lodi on the apron. It took Lenny about three times to do it and it looked really bad as it wasn't until the final attempt that Evan made an attempt to block it.
- Lenny then hits the full-nelson legsweep for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Lenny via full-nelson legsweep in 8:37.
- Ugly finish.
- This match is for the United States title.
- Time to job out Booker T!
- As Sid comes out, he gets hit with a small wad of paper.
- Rick Steiner is Sid's second tonight.
- Your referee is Lil Squeegee... until Nick Patrick steps in and removes him from the ring!
- Squeegee stays ringside, though.
- Booker controls at the start, but Sid takes over.
- Sid clotheslines Booker out of the ring.
- Booker makes a comeback outside and dumps Sid over the rail.
- Booker clubs Sid until Sid rakes the eyes.
- They battle in the crowd now.
- Booker grabs Sid's hair and rams him into some of the production equipment.
- Booker tosses Sid over the rail.
- Booker uses the rail as a springboard, but Sid catches him for an atomic drop.
- Sid picks up Booker and drops him throat-first on the rail.
- Steiner methodically walks to Booker and lands a right.
- Sid has apparently mastered a new weapon -- THE SODA CUP OF UTTER DAMNATION!!!
- The principals are in the aisle now.
- Sid applies a standing facelock.
- Booker counters with a mule kick.
- Booker tries to whip Sid into the apron, but it gets reversed.
- Off-camera, Steiner gets another shot on Booker in.
- Steiner rolls Booker back inside.
- Sid covers and gets two.
- Sid whips Booker and misses the big boot.
- Booker connects with the Harlem Sidekick.
- Booker with a knee and an axe kick.
- Booker goes up top and hits a missile dropkick.
- Booker covers... 1...2...
- Steiner pulls Nick Patrick out, and Lil Squeegee enters the ring.
- Steiner interference on the apron allows Sid to get a chokeslam on Booker.
- Steiner and Sid combine for a powerbomb.
- Lil Squeegee counts a double-pin for the heels.
- YOUR WINNER: Sid Vicious via powerbomb in 4:27.
- Post-match, Sid and Steiner rant at the camera and look menacing.
- With that, we fade...